


Barebones

by Blu (Bluelaia)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Dark, Dubious Morality, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Insanity, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Torture, Soul-Searching, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 210,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3600975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluelaia/pseuds/Blu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the war, two rivals fought to death. Sasuke Uchiha emerged victorious, but the price he paid left him bereft of sanity.</p><p>Consumed by his darkness, he massacred the Shinobi Alliance. He tortured Sakura Haruno, scarring her mind and body for life. </p><p>He tried to kill her, yet against all odds, she survived. Broken, she lost everything... but will she succumb?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chimeras of Sunshine | Arc I: Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback of any kind is highly appreciated. This fanfiction is an experimentation with character development, so let's just hope I won't mess it up. It diverges form the manga at around #692; prior to that, the story should be able to stay within canon. I hope you'll enjoy the read!

_It's only when stripped of the shell of beauty, that stars show their true light._

A pretty dream, isn't it? Sakura looks up at the blue, bottomless sky. It's a radiant summer day - cotton clouds sail through the empyrean ocean above, as she lies back and watches peacefully. The gentle breeze makes the grass dance in unpredictable waves, rustling her clothes , as the wild strands of her pink hair float in the wind. Hands behind her head, the girl sighs. So serene... Yet she has this nagging sensation that there is something she forgets... perhaps a distant memory, a menial task. Unimportant, probably. Who cares, anyway? She feels so content, so relaxed, that right now there isn't a single thing to cause worry in her mind.

"Hey, Sakura-chan," greets a familiar voice, so close to her it almost startles her. She didn't notice that there was someone here. The girl looks to the side, and her inquisitive eyes meet with Naruto's lively gaze. The boy shows a large, happy grin. "Enjoying the day?" he asks, as breezy as usual. He sits down next to her and adopts a similar position.

"Yeah," she mutters, closing her eyes again. It's nice that Naruto is here. "It's beautiful," she adds. A content smile spreads through her face. When was the last time she felt like this? Even though it feels like something is amiss, she just doesn't care.

Her response is a hearty chuckle, so typical of him. Naruto's dreamy eyes wander over the lush landscape. He seems happy, too. What a perfect day... if only it would last forever. The pinkette closes her eyes, taking deep breaths. The air is filled with the strong scent of summer, of life.

"It's cool to see you like this. It doesn't happen often anymore," he comments, his voice tainted by a nostalgic, slightly sad note. His sigh is so soft and quiet that she can barely hear it.

"It's okay," Sakura replies, waving a hand in the air. Something soft brushes against her fingers, though she pays it no attention.

"Sakura-chan…" the boy mutters. His voice sounds definitely concerned this time. "You gotta wake up…"

* * *

An ear-piercing scream echoes through the empty battlefield. Sakura holds her head with her hands, feeling like it's going to melt from pure pain. The sensation can be compared to having many poisoned needles stabbing through her skull. The girl's eyes feel particularly affected, her vision clouded by the pain. Never before had she been this hurt.

Yet, her thoughts linger on Naruto's words, still ringing in her ears. _Wake up._

" _GO AWAY!_ "

She can't tell if it's tears or blood, but a warm liquid runs down her face and drops quietly on her lap. She can't hear these soft taps against her clothes, because she is still shouting so much that her throat feels raw. It's incoherent, just chaotic shrieks to _let it out._ After a while, the headache ebbs, but that was probably the least of her problems. Her whole body shivers, cold and numb, though the pain she feels won't leave.

' _I can't do anything about it,_ ' she realises, distantly. The urge to keep yelling is almost impossible to resist.

Regardless… it's not like anyone can hear her. The vague shadows that linger in the atmosphere... she can almost feel them tug at her, trying to drag the girl outside of her cracked shell of sanity. A simple thing - like shouting, or feeling pain, reminds her she's still alive. It's something to hold onto, because there is nothing else.

"Hey, Sakura-chan…"

She is vaguely aware of the feeling of a kunai in her hand. Then, she hurls it towards the position of the auditory hallucination. Sakura blinks a few times, her eyes scanning her surroundings on the lookout for more of them. Perhaps they aren't real, but they're still dangerous. She must fight.

" _COME FOR ME!_ I dare you!" she snarls, angrily, holding another kunai defensively. If anyone approaches her, Sakura is sure she will _destroy_ them. Because there are no friends left. If anyone comes nearby, she expects them to be an enemy.

But there is no one. Once the echoes of her voice die down, she realises her slip and bites her lower lip. _Alone._ The thought makes her wince, painful and too destructive to be able to process it fully, so she shuts it down.

Ino's voice is next, and this time Sakura is sure she can see the blurry movement of her friend's body, somewhere in the fog. It's there for a fraction of a second, and then it's gone, and so is her kunai, chasing after the vision hopelessly.

If someone asked her about discerning reality from illusion, Sakura would probably stab that person before they could finish the sentence. Her fingers fumble around with the kunai in her pouch, too insensitive to respond properly. It takes a while, but she manages to pick one up and hold it as a last, desperate method of defense.

Curled up against the stone of the small cave, Sakura waits. But nothing happens, and all she can hear is the clatter of the kunai when it falls to the ground. She dropped it, her hands far too clumsy to hold it any longer. Her jade eyes stare at it emotionlessly, as the weapon sits quietly between her feet. Suddenly, she feels angry at it. The damned thing is only another mockery of her failures.

Thoughtlessly, she rips off her kunai pouch and throws it outside. _Away with you._ She can hear the collision of the metal blades on the dusty ground. It has taken a lot of effort to coordinate her hands, but she feels better when it's done. And then the voices come back - she doesn't have any method of defense now. All she can do is curl up tighter and scream.

* * *

It has probably been a few days… Sakura isn't sure how long. The outside is either very cloudy and foggy, or completely dark. No signs of life… no sounds, besides the illusions of people and monsters that shouldn't be there. She's probably losing it, and she knows, but the strength to care isn't there anymore. There isn't a reason to fight, so why bother remaining sane? It hurts too much.

Her clothes are in tatters, barely giving her any warmth. Her chakra hasn't recovered, because she has spent it constantly, to try and keep herself alive. Indeed, the injuries on her body are just _nearly_ lethal. Sometimes they get worse and she feels like she's dying, but it's almost always an hallucination. She knows that without rationalisation, it's just her survival instinct keeping her in this side of death.

Sakura isn't sure anymore - what is real and what is a product of her battered mind? She doesn't have a concussion or a fever severe enough to cause visions of the sort, so perhaps… perhaps she's just crazy. Does it even matter, anymore? She's probably going to die here. No one will save or even remember her. It's heartbreaking, but she knows she's helplessly _alone_ in this damned battlefield.

The visions come and go, and she gives up on ignoring them. After a very long time, she breaks down and starts talking to them. Sometimes, they even respond. One of these times, Ino looked at her sadly (some days, the visions are clearer). Never before had Sakura seen the blonde girl look so sorrowful.

"You still have to blossom, Sakura," she said.

Naruto is the one who appears the most, usually in visions that also cloud her perception of surroundings. She finds herself sitting in different, more peaceful places, alongside him. The scenarios seem based on the land around Konoha, always in the summer, so bright and warm... She assumes the frequency of his appearances is because of her massive guilt over his fate.

"I failed you," she cries, trying to hold onto him during one of her dreams. He holds her, patting her back awkwardly.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan. You can do this. You just gotta wake up."

She tries to shout, beg and wail for him to stay, but it's useless. Every single time, he, and all those she loves, end up fading away. They vanish amidst the fog and the darkness, into oblivion. Those brief moments are usually the only ones where she realises the extent of her plight. Sakura curses, pleads, punches and simply _hurts_ , but no matter what she does… they don't come back. They aren't really there, and she knows it.

Even though the girl spends most of the time confused about reality... Deep down, she knows. That they're gone, with them all those pretty dreams of the future, all the love. That soon, she will join them and it will all be over. But if she lets go of them, the shadows will eat her. She doesn't want to die - not yet, not like this. So she talks to the people that don't exist, she screams in rage towards enemies that can't hear, and she stays alive just because there is nothing else to do. Because it's all she has left: just dreams and nightmares and memories of friends and foes.

As time passes by in a blur, the voices and figures stop visiting. Even the monsters are gone. One by one, they disappear. It's a clock, ticking down time until she crosses the threshold of death. Maybe... maybe it's for the best. The pain will be over, and nothing will matter. It would be such a mercy. The last day, Naruto gives her the most heartbroken look. She wants him to smile, feeling herself far too gone to handle any more of this, but she can't voice her words.

"Don't give up," he mutters, the look in his eyes so desperate that it looks almost real. Behind his irises, the girl can almost feel a glimpse of his inner fire.

Yet, Sakura can't do anything as his image fades away.

"Please… don't leave…"

Her voice is hoarse and raspy, but it's still worth nothing - he's gone.

' _I'm really alone.'_

It should have been over soon, but for some reason, she still doesn't give up. Somehow, she manages to hang on just a bit longer, with the last remains of her hope. Maybe things will miraculously get better. It doesn't happen as she expected it to.

Her breathing is ragged, heavy, as Sakura stares silently. A strange item has invaded her safe haven: a single feather is carried by a gentle breeze and brought to her lap. Wind gusts are rare in this place, so it startles her into semi-awakeness. She looks down, and after a few weak attempts, manages to hold it in front of unfocused eyes.

A crow's feather. It's soft and strangely warm - but maybe she's just cold. She twirls it with her fingers, because once more, there is nothing better to do.

"Sakura."

' _Isn't that great_ ,' she grumbles, internally. ' _Now the feathers talk._ '

The stupidity of the situation almost makes her chuckle, but all that comes out is a hoarse, bloody cough. With a frown, Sakura stares at the velvety item intently. It feels like her mind should've been able to connect it with something, a memory, perhaps a name or a face… but she can't remember.

She falls asleep shortly after, but she can still hear it when another gust of wind takes the feather away from her fingers, and it speaks again. This time, it's Naruto's voice. So lively and caring that she wants to cover her ears and scream.

"What do you want from me?!" she replies, angrily. She snatches the feather clumsily, trapping it in her cold hands.

"Don't give up." Whose voice is that? Kakashi-sensei's? She can't tell anymore. In her demented and moribund state, she has heard almost every voice she can recall, from the people who fought alongside her. It's like a lingering echo that still rings in her ears, day after day.

She manages to figure out that the feather speaks when there's rushing air in contact with it. Either wind, her breath or waving it around. Always different, familiar voices, telling her to stay strong, to not give up, to stand up and fight. They give her a slim beam of hope, and Sakura latches onto it desperately. It doesn't matter if she's crazy or not anymore, so why not believe in the words of a feather?

Sakura props herself up, stumbling out of the small cave and falling over, prey of the gravity and tiredness. She lands in front of her kunai pouch, and picks it up amid whispered apologies for throwing it away. The girl crawls and walks, dragging herself through the empty battlefield.

It doesn't matter where - what the feather tells her is that she has to _move_. Do _something_. Otherwise, she will die. She doesn't know for how long, but at some point she hears different, unfamiliar voices. She looks around and notices that the lighting has changed - the outlines of shrubs are defined by the soft, silvery color of moonlight.

Squinting, Sakura manages to locate some of the stars on the sky, but they don't really help with directions. She's just happy to see it again. If it's real or not, she doesn't know for sure... but it's pretty. Then there's movement, and someone - a real person, standing beside her. She is held up by them, as they say things she can't understand. The words are _blurry_.

Against her will, a wave of chakra forces her to submit to unconsciousness.


	2. Lost and Found | Arc I: Recovery

_So, when you turn off the lights, what do you see?_

"Is she awake?" mutters a soft, young voice. Probably not older than fifteen, she guesses.

Sakura doesn't move a single muscle, faking sleep breathing and listening intently. Even though her instincts are shouting at her to open her eyes and _fight_ , some part of her mind still remembers that a good shinobi is always cautious.

"Dunno," replies another person, and she can almost feel the shrug they give with their shoulders. "Poke her?"

"No fucking way, I don't wanna die," protests the first one, somewhat childishly.

She hears them argue for a while, trying to figure out who do the voices belong to. When she hallucinates, they're always voices of people she knows. The more guilt she can attach to the voices, the more they show up - hence why Naruto makes up for fifty percent of her illusions.

They aren't genjutsu, of that she is almost certain, because by now she should've been able to break it. There was no one left alive in the battlefield, either, so she has no clue who found her. Her brain seems to be working sloppily, and before long she is distracted by the people. Distantly, she realises she's lying on some sort of mattress… it isn't as cold as usual, which is nice.

' _It's actually a sleeping bag, you idiot,_ ' says the bitter voice of her inner self, who seems to be more aware of things than she is. Hadn't heard _that_ voice in a while... ' _The more you know, huh?_ '

Before she can start arguing with herself, the bickering of the two other people beside her progresses into a next level.

"-your mom," spits the first voice, and there's the shuffle of clothes and steps, and the person yelps. "Ouch! That hurt!"

"You hurt my feelings," pouts the other one, so convincingly sad that they sound like a kicked kitty.

Sakura snickers. She's never been good at hiding her emotions, and the banter has gotten to her. It's a bittersweet mix of joy and sadness, because despite all the atrocities of the world, there's people who can still fight playfully like that. Immediately, the voices go quiet. It isn't _silence_ \- the overwhelming perception of empty, dead space that she felt in the battlefield, can't compare to this… but they definitely noticed the noise.

There's an awfully long time of awkward waiting, and Sakura finally opens her eyes. A plain cement ceiling meets her gaze, and she can see a small window high along the wall. Squinting, she can see that outside it looks cold, the sky veiled by a silver sheet of clouds.

Her head hurts a _lot_ , but Sakura forces herself to look for the owners of the voices. They're away from her, sitting against a wall and still tangled in a mess of limbs from their fight. She was right - they're just two kids, with unremarkable dark hair and eyes, and they're staring back at her like she's a hungry lion about to pounce them. They look like plain civilians, too.

Sakura tries to speak, but her throat is so sore and dry, that all that comes out is a grunt and a string of raspy, strained coughs. She is sure there is some blood there. Her whole body feels quite numb, but if this isn't an illusion, it can't be in much of a better state than her neck. Her attention seems to be having a bumpy ride, because just now she notices the thin sheet covering her sleeping bag, when her hands try to clasp something.

' _Miles ahead of you,_ ' grumbles Inner-Sakura, more snappy than usual, which is saying something.

The kunoichi ignores her inner personality, gasping for breath. She hears voices and sounds of movement, her lungs feeling like they're on fire. When the coughing fit subsides, someone presses metal against her lips, gently. It smells wet.

"Drink," mutters one of the kid's voices, a lot closer. "It's water," he adds, when she hesitates.

Sakura isn't in a position to try and refuse, so she obeys. After the first gulp, she manages to realise just how thirsty she is, and she drinks almost a bit too quick. The water is gone way too fast, but she feels a bit better.

At some point, she was lifted and propped up against something that feels suspiciously like a bag full of stones. Ah, well. Taking a few deep breaths, Sakura feels her head clear a tiny bit, and tries to blink to focus her gaze. Her body is lying on what looks like a sleeping bag (Inner-Sakura's 'told you' echoes in her mind), and she is in a small, nearly-empty basement. The only light comes from the tiny window near the ceiling, but it's enough for her to look around.

There's quite a bunch of deadly weapons scattered around the room, some scrolls and seals, clothes, backpacks and a bunch of worn out boxes. It's comfortably cool, compared to the place where she was when…

Her innocent train of thoughts is cut suddenly by the sharp blade of reality, and she gulps. In an instant, it feels like there isn't enough air in the room. It wasn't a dream… no, her body is still almost completely broken. The two kids are back to one of the furthest walls, eyeing her warily, as Sakura tries to _breathe_.

Suddenly, the dull ache she could feel through numbness explodes into more pain than she thought possible to feel. As a medic-nin, she knows all the reasons causing it, but knowing doesn't make it any better. She knows she must be healing, because her mind is working slightly better than it did in the aftermath of the battle.

 _They're gone_. They're _all_ gone. And Sasuke… Sakura gulps, thinking that it's better to avoid that matter entirely. Trying to calm herself down just enough to not have a panic attack, she distantly notices that the clouds outside are turning a soft shade of pink and fiery orange. Twilight.

"Miss… um… miss-nin, are you alright?" asks one of the kids, daring to scoot closer, both scared and worried.

Sakura nods slowly, blinking away the uncomfortable wetness in her eyes. It takes an inhuman amount of effort to lift her arm and wipe her eyes. She looks at her hand, painted with sweat and blood, and lets a sigh escape her lips. She blocks away the thoughts that are nearly tearing apart the scraps of her sanity, focusing on the kid.

"So… you want some food?"

* * *

Sakura learns a few things in the following hours. Misho and Soma - those are the names of the two brothers that found her. She was walking through a field near their house, delirious. They refuse to tell her what she was doing, but she can get an approximate idea of it.

They aren't orphans, as she initially suspected - according to them, their parents received a message from another village, a few days ago. That was shortly after they found her, and they left her to the kids' care. They seem to know what they are doing, having bandaged her and treated her with civilian methods. It's the first time they get to personally take care of a ninja, but they seem more enthusiastic than nervous.

"Our parents... they cure people, they're really good," brags Misho, the oldest of the two, who seems to consider her his new best friend. "So they went over there to heal people, a lot of ninja," he adds, almost shaking with excitement, thinking of his parents getting to take care of so many shinobi.

Sakura's ears immediately perk up. Ninja aren't exactly easy to kill, so it's a given that at least some of them escaped from the slaughter in the battlefield. Perhaps someone from Konoha survived? Surely _someone_ she knows must have made it. It's a desperate, distant hope, but it's all she has. If Shishou is alive… she is probably there. She is certain she saw many of her friends die in front of her own eyes, but there's still a slim chance for the possibility of survivors.

"What happened to you, miss-nin?" asks Misho, sitting with his legs crossed next to her. His energy seems almost contagious, and it's hard to believe he is able to stay still. He seems to be very fascinated with the concept of ninja and all the cool things they are able to do, like it's not big deal.

He breaks the spell caused by her dark thoughts, and Sakura has to muse a few seconds in order to figure out a proper explanation. The kids are barely past the single-digit ages… and probably, not many people would ever want to consider what happened in the battlefield. Telling them will be difficult.

"You know there is… a ninja war, right?" Sakura asks, delicately.

Misho nods solemnly.

"Yep, yep. That's why our family moved all the way out here… away from all the people. That's why we're hiding underground."

Sakura feels quite lucky to have been found, but some part of her feels impressed by the ignorance of the civilians. If any ninja wants to harm them… being isolated isn't going to help at all. She doesn't say anything about it, though.

"Right," she mutters, trying to figure out how to explain this. Somehow, she feels like she has to let it all out, but there is no way she is going to tell everything to innocent children. "Well, there was a big fight," she continues, recalling things as distantly as possible. She has to keep her cool. Obviously, the kid won't stop pestering her until she tells him a proper story, but it's still difficult to think of this and not break down completely. "My friends and I… we fought the bad guys. But a lot of our people died, too."

_Ino screamed, trying to break free of the tendrils of dark chakra wrapped around her, like hungry snakes. Her eyes… her eyes were just gone. The empty sockets bled, and her voice became strangled as the air and life were slowly pulled away from her. Her skin was burning off, melting away. She choked, gasping, trying to kick and fight, but it was useless._

Sakura holds her head, shivering. She forces herself to take a deep breath and continue.

"The Lord of the Toads and the Lord of the Snakes fought," she adds, unable to say their names. "They… used to be friends, but now they were enemies. The Lord of the Snakes went… crazy, and he killed… he killed…"

_Naruto yelped, his body radiating energy, like a beacon of pure chakra. It could almost be felt in the air, warm like the sun. He realised, a bit too late, that he had been tricked. Sakura couldn't hear the words that he and Sasuke exchanged, but she saw the latter's attack. Naruto couldn't move, couldn't free himself in time, and with a flash of purple light… he was gone. Just like that._

"It's okay, miss-nin," mutters Misho, unsure about if he would dare to reach out for her. His brother is quiet, sitting away from them, but watching. Misho's voice is soft and calm, making Sakura snap from her trance. "You're not there anymore," he adds, quietly.

It dawns on Sakura that it's not the first time this kid sees someone who is having a mental breakdown. His eyes seem far too mature, too understanding, but he doesn't say anything else. He knows nothing will help it. Gulping, she nods and decides to finish the tale.

"There was a fight… between the Lord of the Snakes and the other people, I think." To be fair, she isn't sure.

_Suddenly there were screams - no, shrieks of pure terror and agony. Black fire engulfed the battlefield, devouring friends and allies without mercy, and the purple tendrils ensnared the few survivors. The chakra… it was corrupted. It was dirty and wrong and just…_

"And then…"

_He gave her an emotionless glance, the snakes of chakra holding her, suffocating her, so cold they seemed to burn, hurting her spirit's core just by grazing her. Defiantly, she stared back at him, biting back a scream of pain. She knew… she hoped, that soon it would be over._

"Then, Sasuke…"

_Then he smiled. In that evil, hungry smirk there was nothing of the person she used to know, the one she loved. Only chaotic madness, and a monster. A beast with too much power to contain… and she had just offered herself to it._

The recalling of the events that followed is difficult, but the memory is burned deep into her mind. A whimper escapes her lips, uncontrollable sobs finding their way out. She hadn't cried like this in her whole life, because there is nothing that can compare to this pure, raw pain.

Sakura notices that her teeth have gone through the skin of her lips, in a vain effort to hold onto something, and she curls up regardless of how much her body screams at her to stop moving. She hugs her legs tightly, nails digging through exposed skin and bandages, eyes shut in hopes that it will all go away. There's flashes of memories, visions and sounds mixed in a disorderly fashion. She can't stop them anymore - the memories come back to hit her with full force.

" _This is just the start, Sakura."_


	3. Marks of Memories | Arc I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last introduction chapter!

_When you walk through life, you leave a trail that will never be erased._

"Sakura…" mutters a familiar voice. The sound is distorted, like Sakura is underwater and someone is trying to talk to her from the outside of it.

She doesn't respond, feeling the caress of the sunshine warming up her skin. This dream again. There is the familiar summer breeze, once more. Resting under the shade of a tree, Sakura takes a deep breath. It feels so real...

"What do you want from me?" she sighs, opening her eyes and finding the familiar silhouette of Naruto, sitting next to her. This time, Ino is there too. Her pretty, blond hair floats with the wind, her eyes focused on an invisible, distant point.

"We want to help you," replies the boy, picking up a flower. Ino gives him a glance, just for a brief instant. Naruto's gaze focuses on the small plant, which he twirls between his fingers, nonchalant.

Sakura snorts and grits her teeth.

" _We?_ Stop playing games, _Sasuke_ ," she spits, saying the name like it's the most disgusting thing she can think of. Immediately, both of the other kids snap their heads towards her, their eyes wide, stunned.

When she was delirious, Sakura's illusions of people would be very blurry and vague, so she didn't notice until very recently: whoever shows up in this place, including herself, seems to have the appearance they had before the war started. Their attire is casual, their skin unmarred by bruises or cuts. The last memories she has of the two people sitting next to her are far more horrifying.

Naruto seems to have been rendered speechless, something quite strange. Amusedly, Sakura wants to believe this is a small victory against whatever genjutsu Sasuke has placed on her. She tried very hard, but even she is unable to break it. She used to think this was just some sort of twisted hallucination, brought to her by her near-death state, but the dreams persisted.

While she knows of her own prowess at resisting genjutsu, there's limits to how much she can do, so it's possible this is some sort of jutsu of extended effect. Since the dreams are usually quite peaceful, she just lets them pass and tries to forget the fact that the people in them are dead.

Ino clicks her tongue and moves closer to her, placing a hand on her forehead. Sakura gives her the barest of glances, but the image of her friend doesn't attempt harming her. The other kunoichi looks sad, gifting her a wry smile.

The spell of the dream breaks and Sakura wakes up covered in cold sweat. The two civilian brothers that have been tending to her are still asleep - that's good, it means she didn't scream this time. Sakura looks towards the window of the small basement, judging that it must be a bit before dawn.

She focuses on that and her breathing until she calms down, curling her body into a tight ball. Hugging her own legs feels oddly safe and reassuring, even though she can feel the reverberations of her disturbed heartbeat.

Sighing, she lies back down and performs a customary scan of her body, looking for injuries. Whatever _He_ did to her disturbed the flow of her chakra, which explains why no matter how hard she tried, she was unable to heal herself fully or recover completely. The children don't understand it either, obviously, but they did a good job in keeping her wounds clean with basic methods, while she was out of it.

It hurts, that much she knows. She can tell something is wrong, because something tainted is poisoning her body, but she can't do anything about it. It disrupts the flow of her chakra, constricting around her invisibly and limiting her abilities and strength greatly.

Even in her mind, Sakura can't bring herself to give a name to the person who did this. When she said it in the dream she just had, it was actually the first time she managed to do it. It's far too painful, because the memories associated with him are way too close to her heart.

It is very tempting and easy to wallow in her misery, because her usually quick mind is pointing out a lot of things she did wrong, and a lot of things that will never be okay again. Death is irreversible - Orochimaru's sick experiments have only proved it further, for her.

There is a counter for that, though, which is trying to be as coldly logical as possible. Mentally, she runs through the list of objectives to accomplish: reach the nearby village, look for friends and survivors of the ninja war, and then attempt to head back to Konoha. ' _Unless_ He _got there first_ ,' she reminds herself, trying not to think of the consequences of that possibility.

She reaches out for the crow feather. It's still safely tucked away in her kunai pouch, and it sends a wave of tingling warmth through her fingers when she holds it. ' _So it wasn't an hallucination..._ '

Twirling it in her fingers, Sakura tries to listen for the quiet, reassuring whispers that she remembers hearing before. When nothing happens, she feels slightly deflated. Some part of her had hoped that the strange properties of the feather would extend beyond being chakra-infused, but that is probably because she is too desperate to find something that gives out hope.

Inner-Sakura has also been quiet once more. While the pink-haired girl doesn't hear her so often anymore, it seems like her inner self has started to pop back up to the surface of her mind, mostly to make dry and sarcastic remarks about things she is failing to understand or notice. It's helpful, because it allows Sakura to be more focused, but it still doesn't happen often enough to be reliable. Too random, she judges.

Sighing once more, she lies back down again and attempts to fake sleep.

* * *

"What are those black things?" asks Misho, doing the routinary treatment of her physical injuries.

There's a lot of them: cuts, bruises, burns, small stabs… It's only her prowess with chakra control and healing, that has kept her alive so long. Sakura opens an eye, almost lazily, looking down at her abdomen. The kid is pointing at a seemingly lethal slash on her side, which by now seems to be scarring. It leaves an angry, red mark, and it's one of the many things she isn't able to fix. No matter how hard she tries, the wounds refuse to fully close.

"What do you mean?" she asks, confused. The cut looks normal and uninfected.

"There's black strings over it… and inside. Like worms," the kid explains, glancing back at her. He admires her knowledge of the healing arts, but seems to be considering if she's just too tired to notice something very obvious.

Sakura gets a closer look at the injury, but both scanning techniques, naked eye and a gentle poke with her fingers seem to be uneffective. It looks just fine, even though it feels like a slight burn when she moves. She can't _see_ the 'worms' with her eyes, but she can imagine them if she focuses on the feeling caused by the wounds, picturing their distribution quite easily in her mind.

Feeling oddly apathetic, she shrugs and lets the kid treat the wounds she can't reach. At the moment, she can't do much to try and figure out what are those things, so she pushes the thought of them aside, with the big pile of 'things I don't want to think about, ever'.

Sakura feels antsy at the feeling of being so restricted in her movements and usefulness, so she considers trying to risk it and getting to the village as soon as she can. It's a small, civilian settlement, located somewhere between Sound and the battlefield. No wonder the kids' parents wanted them out of it…

Sakura isn't exactly sure of the position of it, and neither of the boys seems to be particularly good at geography, but their instructions on how to find the village seem to be good enough. She is torn between waiting until their parents come back (because leaving them alone, even though she is nowhere near her prime condition, doesn't feel right) and rushing to the village as soon as possible.

The earlier she gets there… the better her chances are at finding recognisable allies. They might even be dying, themselves, or _He_ could be trying to locate the remains of a potential resistance, but she can't know for sure.

Sakura insists on trying to go to the bathroom on her own, just as an excuse to test her strength. It takes a lot of effort, sweat and pain, but she manages to stand up. It's only been two days since she woke up, and she decides she's had enough of lying down. She knows the effect it has on people, too - the basement is already becoming oppressive, too dull, leaving her imagination to roam free into places she doesn't want it to go.

The house is small and compact: a tiny kitchen and living-dining room, a bathroom and of course, the damned basement. It seems to be a place ready for emergency cures, because she spots a table that reeks of chemistry for healing, and the living room is full of crates that contain bedrolls and medic items.

There isn't much else - it's obviously a refuge for war, tucked in the border of the Land of Hot Water and the Land of Frost. It takes a bit of fishing for names, but she manages to figure out 'the village' is Yugakure. Not too far, then. It doesn't seem to be the best place for ninja to defend themselves, but doubtlessly it's the best option for the survivors to go to.

Kumo was completely destroyed, that much she knows from _His_ words. The Land of Frost isn't exactly known for being welcoming, so it makes sense that Yugakure would be taking in the remaining leftovers of the ninja army.

Her dark ruminations continue as Sakura strips off whatever is left of her clothes and tentatively steps in the shower. The water is a bit too hot for what her marred skin would consider 'fine', but she pays no attention to it. The physical pain hasn't subsided since she woke up, something probably caused by the chakra disruption, but it doesn't seem to be killing her.

Absentmindedly, Sakura retraces the marks of the chakra tendrils that were used to ensnare her, snaking all over her body. According to Misho, they have even more 'black worms' than the rest of her body, though she can't tell too clearly. She can still remember the sensation of burning and yet, at the same time, a strange coldness that sucked out her _life_. Like a hungry predator slowly devouring its prey…

Shaking her head, Sakura dries herself with the old towels and starts rebandaging herself, somewhat clumsily. She's been trying to perform exercises to test the coordination of her fingers and hands, and was pleased to find they aren't damaged. Performing seals is still something that takes concentration and effort, and she is much slower than usual, but Sakura knows it's just a matter of recovering.

Physically, at least, because her psychological state isn't exactly good. The only reason she isn't screaming at weird illusions is that she is somehow managing to block it off, pretend it isn't there and focus on other things.

Sakura brought new, clean clothes with her, provided by the house's huge supply of various items, so the puts them on and steps out of the steamy bathroom. Much to her surprise, Soma greets her when she enters the kitchen. The kid has been distant and quiet, even though he helped with keeping her somewhat healthy. He only speaks when he thinks she is asleep, so Sakura figured out he was just shy, because he didn't seem scared of her, either.

The boy has a bright smile that is too much of a reminder of Naruto's, and offers her a bowl of hot soup. The gesture is quiet, slightly hesitant, in contrast with his vivacity. Both him and his brother seem to be overly energetic people, and Sakura finds it quite relieving, since her own mind is struggling to keep itself together.

She sits down with them, looking around as they eat breakfast. The kitchen, much like the basement and the rest of the house, doesn't have any big windows. It looks like the whole place is semi-submerged in the ground, probably for safety's sake.

Sakura finds the chakra disruption, more than painful, annoying. Moving around takes a lot of effort, and drinking from her bowl of soup seems to require way too much focus. As much as she wants to get to the village as soon as possible, this fact and the guilt of leaving the kids alone seems to convince her to stay.

' _Just a few more days,'_ she tells herself, pensive.


	4. Seeds of Aftermath | Arc I: Recovery

_For every imprint you leave in your path, you plant a tree of memory and life._

The night is almost awfully quiet, but Sakura finds the atmosphere relaxing. Leaning back on her seat, she lets her gaze wander over the landscape, thoughtful. She is sitting next to the hidden entrance to the refuge, outside for the first time in what feels like ages. It has been nearly a week and half, and the feeling of restlessness is still growing. She tells herself there's reasons to be still there, but their strength is becoming weaker as the days go on.

The chakra disruption is still hampering her physical capabilities (and, she suspects, psychological well-being) greatly, but she's getting used to it. It isn't painful, as long as she doesn't try to use too much of it. It feels like the pathways for chakra are constricted, but not fully closed - if that was the case, she would definitely be dead. Using healing chakra is nearly impossible, and so is controlling it. It's frustrating, but at least she's alive.

It's a priority for her to find a capable medic, because with her body in this state, Sakura is unable to fix it. Her ability to focus is being very handy, helping to adapt to this strange change and keep her most grim thoughts at bay.

She twirls the crow feather in her fingers, using it as an anchor for her thoughts. It's still warm with chakra, and she has grown an habit of playing with it while thinking.

"Miss-nin," mutters a soft voice, startling her. She turns around to find Misho standing behind her, and Sakura feels the urge of mentally slapping herself. So much for being focused. She has noticed her attention has a tendency to slip away quite easily.

"Yes?" she asks, trying to figure out what could have brought the boy out here. It's well past midnight, so he definitely shouldn't be awake. Though for that matter, Sakura ought to be asleep too.

The boy seems to be slightly nervous, but moves closer and takes a seat beside her. He seems to be looking for words, though Sakura has a suspicion about the matter at hand.

"We want to go with you," Misho finally admits, saying the words very quickly, as if trying to get rid of an itchy thing on his skin.

Sakura sighs. Yep, she was right. Raking a hand through her hair, she gives out the speech she had prepared in case either of the boys ever asked: "It's dangerous out there, you know that. It's bad enough that I will have to leave you alone here." What were their parents thinking, letting their two young kids take care of a potentially dangerous ninja?

Regardless, Sakura knows bringing them with her would be even worse. If there is a trap in Yugakure, if _He_ is waiting for her… they'll run right into a horrible fate.

"We want to help," states the boy, surprising her slightly, determined eyes looking back at her, doubtless. No asking for his parents, no fear, just resolution that is strange in a civilian kid. "We might not be awesome medic-nin, but we know how to heal people."

Sakura looks down at the innocent feather, making it spin a bit too quickly. Okay, perhaps she didn't think enough about the complications of convincing the kids to stay. After all, they're still young and quite naïve, so she expected them to be easy to persuade into playing safe. Big mistake - she should've expected it to work exactly the opposite. They don't know about how dangerous it could be...

"We can't just leave our family alone and… and do nothing. You're a strong ninja, so you don't know how bad it feels to be so useless," he continues dejectedly, her silence encouraging him. For a split second, Sakura glances at him with a mix of surprise and sadness.

' _If only you knew..._ '

He looks at her, hopeful but slightly nervous. Vaguely, Sakura realizes Misho admires her. In his eyes, she is an almighty kunoichi, practically magical, and the absence of a parent figure has taken its toll. He doesn't seem to understand what thoughts are flowing through her head, so he simply waits for a response.

That is one thing that seems to have changed in Sakura - the silences. Sometimes it takes a while to put her thoughts together, in order to speak. At best, there is a very light stammer from time to time and slowness in difficult replies, and at worst, she ends up forgetting to reply, getting lost in her own ruminations. Thankfully, Misho seems to be a patient kid, regardless of his liveliness.

There is one big problem that she has to account for, one that tears down her plans. While she figured out there is no alternative but to leave in the search of allies, if the two children are so intent on following her, they will. And two defenseless kids getting lost because of her is even worse than the _possibility_ of an ambush in Yugakure. She could try to be cautious, scouting ahead to make sure it's safe…

Another sigh, and Sakura nods, feeling tired.

"Fine, but if you come with me, you will be under my orders," she reluctantly agrees, glancing at him sternly. Misho is a bit too quick and enthusiastic with his nodding.

"Of course!" the kid responds, beaming. "Thank you, miss-nin!"

Sakura gives him an assenting nod, and Misho leaves shortly after their brief conversation. He will hopefully go back to sleep, and distantly, the pink-haired kunoichi feels envious of him. The dreams, which she still has, might be peaceful in appearance, but they're still disturbing her mind greatly.

Sometimes, there's glimpses of the horror scenes she was a witness to. And once again, she is helpless to watch. In some of them, the sky shines red and the lights are eerily distorted - those, she assumes to be definitely a genjutsu of some sort, because the things happening in them are, by far, the worst of all. When her dreams start shifting into nightmares, they always look like that.

' _I need to stop thinking about this,_ ' Sakura reprimands her traitorous mind, and instead tries to focus on the feather once more. It's going to be a long night.

* * *

By the time the sun rises, Sakura feels tiredness itching under her skin. As a medic-nin, it isn't uncommon for her to have a very bumpy sleeping schedule, so the feeling is more familiar than detrimental. Stretching, she gives a last look at the empty plains and distant woods that compose the landscape of the area. It's mostly cloudy and a bit cold, though not uncomfortable. Relaxing, she would say.

She gets up and slowly walks back into the refuge - the familiar, tight space, feeling as dull as ever. Neither of the boys are in the kitchen yet, as usual, so she makes it her mission to prepare breakfast. It's a simple task that doesn't require too much physical effort, and since the brothers seem to like her cooking, it has become her role to do it. Besides, the only thing they know how to prepare is canned soup, which is by no means an acceptable diet.

Menial tasks like this one seem to brighten her mood, distracting her from her worst thoughts. Soon, she finds herself whistling and humming a catchy tune, from one of her favorite songs. It only stops when she hears a stifled giggle coming from the entrance to the kitchen. She looks back, stopping mid-dance and feeling her cheeks warming up with a blush.

"Nice moves," comments Soma, his brother finally chuckling through his hands.

Sakura raises her eyebrows, and playfully replies: "Of course! What kind of ninja do you think I am?" The mental idea of shinobi dancing instead of fighting is a bit too much for her, and she ends up giggling.

The two brothers give each other a high-five, as they step closer to help. Breakfast isn't much, but they seen to be interested in learning how to make it.

"We made miss-nin smile, we're getting better," whispers Soma, and from the corner of her eye, Sakura catches Misho nodding happily. It's difficult to believe that outside this hidden house, the world is falling apart, torn by war and loss. Immediately, she cools down.

"We're going out tomorrow," she informs them, blankly. Both boys nod eagerly, never relenting in their playful demeanor.

Strangely, Sakura finds it both nice and tiring. She knows her mind and body are asking her for rest, and she is barely getting it. It requires a lot of focus to keep it together, and it's mostly a façade to prevent the kids from seeing the worst things in her head. Yet, their bright look at the world seems to bring her some sort of quiet hope.

She watches them, lively chatting without much of a worry in the world. They know how to be serious, but they aren't crippled by the weights of experience. In a strange way, she would like it to stay like that forever. Even though Soma tried to keep a distance from her, it looks like he was just being a shy kid, and now he talks to her like she's a part of his family.

It's like a beautiful dream - sooner or later, this moment of rest is bound to end.

* * *

Sakura frowns at the worn out map in her hands. According to its information, Yugakure is at a less of two days' walk - but the terrain and her chakra disruption aren't making it easy. Like overly excited ducklings, Misho and Soma follow her faithfully, alien to her struggle. At her command, they've been quiet, but they still seem to be having a lot of fun with their adventure.

Supposedly, there is a path that goes through the forest, leading straight to the village, but Sakura was completely unable to find it. The two boys only know that they used it to get to the refuge, but they're completely unfamiliar with the route, themselves, so they aren't much help.

Thus, the quest for just making their way through the forest began. The first time Sakura tried to climb a tree to scan the landscape, a painful jolt in her legs nearly sent her to the ground, backfirst. Only her ninja reflexes saved her from the fall. Of course things had to get this complicated.

Huffing, Sakura gave up on trying to climb, after a few more tries showed her it's impossible to control her chakra in this state. Anytime she tries to force a substantial amount of it through her body, the flow just _breaks_ and causes a wave of pain through her. The pain itself isn't crippling, but for now she is unable to mould chakra properly. Nothing new, just... she didn't think her state was this bad. Her body hasn't recovered fully, so climbing manually is out of the picture.

So here they go, trying to find their way through the hilly forest, and Sakura honestly hopes they're going in the right direction. By the time night time arrives, the kids are exhausted and she is slightly on edge. The closer they get to the village, the more she feels paranoid about an ambush.

' _What the hell was I thinking? I can't fight properly and I still have to protect those two._ ' Glancing at the sleeping forms of the two brothers, huddled together in a sleeping bag, Sakura makes a mental check of all the traps she set up around their camping place.

They didn't light up a fire - instead, they found a spot between the trees' roots and attempted to sleep there. She was very adamant when she told the pair of kids to not leave their place of rest, under any circumstances, without telling her first. It wouldn't be nice for one of them to end up impaled by kunai due to a potty break issue.

The kunoichi decides to practice some simple kata, to make sure that at least, her physical state is still decent. While she is still wearing bandages to prevent friction on the tender skin of her injuries, they don't need any more manual treatment. The crimson burns of the chakra tendrils haven't disappeared, and by now Sakura is almost certain that they have something to do with the disruption in her internal energies.

They weren't hard to see at first, and now they've started to take a dark red colouring. And there's also the fact that they have more 'black worms' than the rest of her body. It bugs her, pun not intended, so much that she has become paranoid about checking her own skin. In turn, this also made her better at spotting the anomalies in her injuries.

There's scars that would normally have been completely healed, but the majority of the bruises and superficial cuts are gone. While she remembers being tortured to an extent that should have killed her, most of the serious injuries seem to have vanished.

There were broken bones and a dislocated arm, but the hazy memories of her stay at the battlefield seem to include a constant effort to heal herself, to _survive_. Even if she can't remember it, it's very possible that she fixed the most serious injuries back then. If only she could use chakra _now..._ she would feel a lot less vulnerable.

The feeling of chakra exhaustion has been permanent since she woke up, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. While the Yin seal is still present in her forehead, tapping into it seems to yield no extra energy. If her theory is right, the marks of chakra tendrils are just a signal of something much worse, blocking the flow of her chakra beyond the bare essentials that any living being needs.

They also seem to make her skin feel like it's burning, even if it's just slightly irritated. What causes _that_ , she isn't sure, but her wounds aren't reopening, so she ends up paying it only the barest amount of attention.

Submerged in her pondering of possible medical complications and fixes, Sakura finds the night to go by a lot quicker. The following day passes by uneventfully, and much to the girl's relief, they stumble upon a thermal bath. The trees are more scarce and the visibility is better, so they finally see, not much further ahead, the silhouette of Yugakure.

Both kids are about to race towards it, but she snatches the back of their shirts before they take off. They give her confused glances, but don't struggle.

"Miss-nin?" asks Misho, hesitantly. She doesn't look at them, instead trying to spot any signs of destruction in the nearby building or the village, or any particularly strong marks of chakra.

Nothing. If there is any kind of trap, it's a very good one. No genjutsu, no obvious signs of landscape or structural damage… there aren't any villagers in view, but it seems calm.

"Stay back," she orders, letting go of the two brothers and tentatively approaching the thermal bath, hiding behind the trees carefully.

The bath is empty, the only movement coming from the steamy pools. Sakura finds her way through them and takes a peek of Yu. Still no sign of the enemy. She glances back at the brothers, who are following her movement from the edge of the forest. If she didn't know where they are, she wouldn't be able to see them. As good of a hiding spot as it can get.

Sakura approaches the first buildings of Yu, not surprised to see the remains of a defensive wall surrounding it. Yugakure used to be a ninja village, but their focus on healing arts ended up with them giving up the shinobi ways, and instead becoming one of the most advanced in terms of medical knowledge, a mix of civilian and ninja style. It's no wonder that Misho and Soma have their fair share of acquaintanceship with treating injuries.

The kunoichi curses internally, knowing that her thoughts have derailed too much. Probably a sign that her mental state is not the best. She snaps her attention back to her surroundings, but apart from the eerie silence, nothing seems to be out of place.

"SAKURA!"

She yelps, jumping in the air and throwing a few kunai towards the position of the voice, her heart beating like it's trying to escape her chest. Eyes wildly darting around, she finds herself backing up against a tree. _Something_ fluffy and big tackles her down and starts licking her face.

' _Akamaru?_ '

Breathing raggedly, Sakura pushes the dog away from her, and finds herself facing the two people she expected to find here the least.

"Kiba? Temari?" she sputters, not fully believing what she sees.

"I told you I caught her scent!" exclaims the Inuzuka, looking at the Sand ninja like he just won a very important bet. "Hey, don't give me that 'I'm so tired of your shit' look," he grumbles, when the other kunoichi scowls at him silently. Sakura is a bit too shocked to know how to react, trying very hard to not think about the flashes of gruesome deaths that are passing through her eyes. "Fine, I'll ask her… Sakura, who is the coolest ninja of Team 8?" He turns towards her again, and Sakura blinks, trying to focus.

"...Shino," she manages to whisper, her voice slightly choked. She hears Kiba grumble, but it's like a background noise, because the dam breaks and she can't stop it.

 _Shino - the one who died devoured by his own bugs, being tortured by brutal increases and decreases of chakra, until he finally gave out. Teased with the mercy of death until his body simply exploded, broken_. _Shino, the quiet, observant and clever boy who never deserved such a horrifying fate_.

"Sakura-chan!"

_And she remembers, how the pack of summoned wolves gave chase to Kiba in a nightmarish realm, always letting him escape in the last second, gaining more and more injuries. It was only a genjutsu, though - when he managed to realise it, he was already being torn apart by the real ones, eaten alive._

"Sakura?!"

_Temari... what happened to her? It was wind, wasn't it? Yes... she was denied air to her lungs while a deadly vortex started to peel her skin and rip away flesh, the cuts getting deeper and deeper. When, suffocated and only having her last bits of muscle and flesh, she gasped for breath, the air got inside her... and she didn't even have time to scream, the gore of her insides exploding and splattering over the ground and Sakura._

She collapses and falls, the carefully constructed wall to keep the pain at bay, shattering once more.

' _It's not real… no..._ '

Her vision is blurry, clouded by red mist, and Sakura lashes out, not exactly sure about what is going on. But she knows she is angry - it isn't just her dreams, it isn't just her memories. Now, the illusions are trying to get her when she is awake. Not again.

The seething rage seems to burn through her skin, prompting her to _kill_. And then, in an instant, a pulse of chakra sends her into unconsciousness, and the world fades away as she hears the voices of the dead people she holds dear, luring her into the darkness once more.

* * *

Sakura wakes up when a strident voice disrupts the comatose-like sleep she was forced into. In the back of her mind, there is a voice commenting on how handy it is to be able to overcharge someone with chakra, to knock them out. Tricky procedure, obviously... but if mastered, it's quite handy.

"She isn't dangerous!"

The voice is vaguely familiar, but her mind is too cloudy to put a name to it. Opening her eyes slightly, she attempts to make sense of the place where she is. The first thing to notice is that she can barely move, and the second one, that the chakra level of her body is dangerously low.

She is strapped down on a bed, in a white and tidy room. There's bright sunlight filtering through curtains, and she has to blink a few times to adjust her eyes to it. Something about the situation seems to ring distant bells in her memories, but it isn't enough to get through the fogginess of her thoughts.

Sakura tries to probe around with very small amounts of chakra, but something seems to be restraining it. The sensation is recognisable - Tsunade-shishou used to force her to use most of her chakra, and then put blocking seals on her. It required an absurd amount of concentration, but they were always breakable, just barely.

If she did it wrong, an explosive tag attached to them would go off. Overtime, it made her hone her skill with chakra control to near-perfection, and develop ways to defend herself from such explosions, particularly the ones in close range.

They seem to be quite similar, though stronger. Just like the ones used on either prisoners for interrogation or her own patients. It clicks in her mind, finally - this is a hospital. And someone is screaming again, with a very angry and high-pitched voice.

After a quick check for signs of physical damage or genjutsu, Sakura finds herself uncomfortably stripped of her weapons. All she has is her clothing, borrowed from Misho and Soma's refuge.

"Stuff it, brat. She destroyed _many_ trees and nearly killed a few people." The voice sounds tired, raw, like the person is just on the edge of their patience. She can't recognise this one, but it seems definitely adult.

"Let me see her!" For a moment she thinks of Naruto, but the voice isn't his - it's Misho's.

There is more arguing, too fast for Sakura to fully understand it all, and someone finally enters the room, startling her. The only person she can recognise is the young boy who rushes towards her with almost ninja speed. His worried eyes scan her body, as if trying to make sure she hasn't lost any limbs, and he finally turns towards her face and smiles.

"Hey, miss-nin," he mutters, scratching the back of his neck.

Sakura gives him a weak smile, a bit too glad that there is _someone_ out there who still cares about her. Even if it's a kid she will probably not see again, very soon. She glances at the other people in the room, but none of them are familiar. Soma isn't here either, nor are Kiba or Temari. Not wanting to believe they're really dead, she focuses on the unknown visitors.

There's three people - two women and one man, all dressed in medic-nin attire. A big, light-furred dog walks after them quietly - upon closer inspection, Sakura sees it _isn't_ Akamaru, but the similarity is almost eerie.

"Sakura Haruno," greets one of the women, probably in her fifties and with many lines of tiredness snaking through her face.

Sakura nods, but doesn't say anything. Something about the adults inspires a feeling of gravity. Immediately, she feels like something is wrong, but the medics are probably holding it back for the sake of Misho.

"Your friend is okay, now get out and let us do our job," nearly growls the man, barely a few years older than her, glaring at the boy and pointing towards the door. Misho looks like he is going to protest, but the dog is quicker, grabbing his hand with its jaws and drags him out, regardless of his protests.

Sakura looks back at the older of the women, whose stern gaze speaks of bad news all on its own. The second female pats her partner's shoulder, giving her a half smile and muttering: "I'll take care of this."

In a few seconds, everyone but her is gone from the room. She grabs a chair from near the wall and plants it next to Sakura's bed, sitting down and tilting her head to the side.

"Hello, Haruno-san," she greets, softly. Her voice is that of someone who is used to dealing with delicate patients, her face round and framed by curly, light blue hair. Sakura finds herself comparing the woman to a sweeter version of Suzume-san, her kunoichi class teacher. "My name is Riko, by the way."

"Hi," she replies, feeling her voice slightly hoarse, but otherwise okay.

The woman grabs a clipboard from a bedside table, though her eyes don't seem to be really reading it. She looks back at Sakura, her expression kind and sympathetic.

"You don't have the slightest idea of what is going on, do you?" she comments, resting the clipboard on her lap. Sakura glances at it from the corner of her eye, but it's purposely placed in a way that she can't read it. Not wanting to break eye contact for too long, she focuses again on the medic's face.

"No… I'm not a prisoner, am I?" she asks, deciding to go to the thing that weighs heavier in her mind.

The medic-nin shakes her head softly.

"No, you are a patient in Yugakure's Third Hospital," she explains, gesturing around the room. "I'll sum it up for you: you aren't here because your body is hurt, but because your mental state is… undesirably worrysome." The gentle expression doesn't leave her face - it's almost unsettling. "In case you are wondering, you are restrained because you attacked two or ouf medic-nin when they found you, trying to approach our village. Your state was delirious and unstable, and you seemed to be unable to understand them. The only reason we didn't have to kill you was because your physical state was quite bad, plus we recognised you as one more of the Shinobi Alliance. Furthermore, you're Tsunade-sama's apprentice."

She speaks slowly, pausing to let the tidbits of information sink in, watching Sakura closely, probably for signs of distress. Her exposition is worded carefully - Sakura feels like there is something very, very wrong, that she isn't being told directly.

"Where are Kiba and Temari?" she asks, finally.

The medic-nin looks like she expected this question, and takes a few seconds to reply properly.

"We don't know who those people are, Haruno-san" she responds, scanning her face for a reaction. The slight tenseness of Riko's body shows she is ready to further restrain or sedate her if needed be. "During your… outburst… you were muttering their names, among others. I'm afraid you were hallucinating an encounter with them, though that is just speculation," she adds, tilting her head again.

Sakura is lost in her own world of messy thoughts and desperate hopes. _It's not real_ , she remembers herself thinking, though for completely different reasons than the ones just exposed to her. Her breathing becomes ragged, heartbeat speeding up and hammering in her chest.

' _Just how messed up is my head?_ ' she wonders, darkly.

Respectfully, the other medic lets her think about the implications of her words. Sakura attempts to figure out if this is actually a very good genjutsu, but after failing at that, she has to admit the harsh truth. Nodding and gulping, she tries to block out the echoes of her dreams and memories, in her head.

"I understand the cause for your distress, Haruno-san, but we will try to provide as much information as we can to alleviate it," Riko adds, giving another half-smile. "I am here to respond to any questions you might have. However, to avoid too much stress on yourself, I will only allow you to ask three more questions in rapid succession. Afterwards, you will be left to rest."

Sakura nods again, a bit too quickly, feeling a stinging sensation in her eyes. She doesn't cry, though (' _Enough of that shit! You're not a crybaby anymore!_ ' shouts her inner self, speaking for the first time in ages), but her whole body is shivering, numb and cold.

"What are Naruto Uzumaki's whereabouts?" asks the kunoichi, hardily.

"Unknown," Riko replies, undisturbed.

A sinking feeling seems to pull down her stomach, and Sakura hears, distantly, her teammate and friend's scattered words, of many different memories. She forces them out of her mind, focusing on the situation at hand.

"Konohagakure and its people?" Her voice is less steady, but she manages to speak clearly.

"Unknown. We don't have any news from Konoha, and among our patients, only a handful of ninja are from there."

Biting the tender flesh inside her mouth, Sakura lets the silence extend for a few seconds. Thankfully, Riko doesn't break the silence, her hazel eyes glinting with understanding. After what feels like forever, the girl finally manages to ask her last question.

"...Sasuke Uchiha?" The name itself seems to be painful to think about, but she has to force the question out. Sooner or later, it has to be asked.

Riko shakes her head, and this time, a slight frown etches itself in her features.

"All we know about him is that he massacred the Shinobi Alliance… and we found traces of him in your body and mind. I'm sorry," she adds, lowering her gaze just a fraction of an inch.

Sakura closes her eyes, wearily. Why, why did all of this have to happen? The swirling typhoon of desperation and pain seems to close in on her again, but she manages to push it away. Just for a few more seconds…

"Leave. Please, leave," she whispers, not even looking at Riko. Her eyes are tightly shut, but it won't help with blocking off the imminent chaos.

She hears the woman get up and walk away, without a word. Once the door closes, Sakura lifts her eyelids slowly. Around her, the world bleeds into a dark shade of red, and painfully familiar figures approach her, silently.


	5. Prison of Solitude | Arc I: Recovery

_There is a wall between your soul and the world, and it can be made of either glass or stone._

Sakura runs through many reality checks, but after all the nightmarish illusions, she is finally sure that what she sees is real. Not a product of her imagination, not a tease about peacefulness that will soon bleed into horror. Her body and limbs are curled up into a tight ball - useless protection against monsters that aren't physical, but reassuring nonetheless. She has nothing else to hold onto. After it starts to ache, she hops off the bed and starts exercising basic kata.

"Your injuries might reopen if you keep doing that," grumbles a medic. She didn't hear him enter, strangely enough. She happily ignores the man, refusing to look at him. It's the same guy that visited earlier, with Riko and the stern old woman.

It feels so _nice_ to be able to move, though her body is still slightly stiff from what feels like ages of being strapped down to the bed, held there to watch as successions of horrifying visions taunted her. Nope, not 'resting' anytime soon.

"Damn ninja…" mutters the medic, and Sakura manages to smirk, understanding his frustration. "Release her, they said. She's too weak to move, they said. Well, look who's the idiot now," he rambles in a low voice, hiding his face behind his hands. As if remembering he's in a patient's room, he glances at her and adds: "And please, Haruno-san, get back into the bed before we have to sedate you again."

Nonchalantly, the man coughs a little and wipes his hands on his clothes, as if nothing happened. 'Very professional', in Inner-Sakura's opinion. Amused, Sakura nods and sits down on the edge of the mattress, eyeing him curiously. He seems surprised that she actually listened to him, but anyway, he goes to do his business.

It includes a few superficial checks on her health and bandages, but Sakura seems to be just fine. She still has the dark, tendril-like marks on her skin, and her chakra seems to be unable to go past a bare minimum level, but other than that, she is perfectly fine. At least, physically.

"You're so lucky to be alive… not many of us made it out of there," the medic comments, giving her bare arms a last, scowling look.

Sakura tilts her head to the side, her mouth slightly agape in surprise.

"You were there too?" she asks, looking at him in the eyes for the first time.

Sadly, the face seems difficult to recognise. He is also wearing the standard Yugakure medic attire, so it's even more difficult to tell where is he from. Sakura figures it isn't very strange that if any survivors of the Shinobi Alliance made it to Yu, they're helping out whoever they can.

The man nods, frowning.

"They told us some powerful guy had gone nuts. From our side, this time... Caught a lot of people completely off-guard. The reason most of the survivors are medic-nin is because they pulled us back here, to heal the ones who made it out. Sadly… there aren't that many," he adds, looking away, and Sakura can't avoid feeling sympathy for him. Medic-nin are usually those who care the most about their companions. She understands a bit too well.

"What's your name?" she asks, trying to pull the man away from his brooding mood. He glances back at her, almost startled, but seems relieved to have something to talk about.

"Kiri Satō. From Kiri," he promptly replies. "Surprise Attack Division," he adds, after some thought.

"Sakura Haruno. Konoha, Third Division."

He waves a hand dismissively.

"I would have to be a very rookie medic-nin to not know about you, Haruno-san."

Feeling a blush creeping up into her face, Sakura mutters something along the lines of 'just call me Sakura.'

Kiri smirks, rolling his eyes and telling her to (please) stay in bed, for health's sake.

"Before you ask me about the survivors… Riko will come over later, to play her silly three-question game. I'm afraid I'm not authorised to respond to your questions," he says, shaking his head when she is about to speak again. As a medic-nin he, too, knows that the well-being of her allies and companions is the first thing in her mind. "She will bring you some food. Just make sure you don't die in the meanwhile," he instructs her, before leaving the room.

Feeling slightly better, Sakura leans back on the bed, sighing. Her body feels extremely weary and her chakra is stubbornly unresponsive. It's still the best she has felt in a long time, so she spends a while inspecting herself thoroughly. While not doubting the abilities of her fellow medic, she also knows it's better to be safe than sorry. She doesn't want to be invisibly tied to a bed, being useless.

There is nothing, other than faint bruises and injuries that are mostly healed. She runs her fingers over the chaotically drawn, crimson and black tendrils on her skin, but they seem to be undisturbed by her small probes. The ever present feeling of cold-burn is still eerie if she pays attention to it, but the state of the lines hasn't changed.

There doesn't seem to be a trace of a pattern to them, and they cover her entire body, face included. They aren't wider than a finger, swirling and angling all around her female form.

Sakura pushes herself off the bed, walking towards the windows. Outside lies Yugakure, a bit too quiet, too empty, but otherwise normal. It doesn't look like a war-torn village. The terrain is hilly, steamy spots of hot water dotting it randomly, the houses built on the dark red stone.

Wherever there aren't buildings, there are the same big, bright trees of the forest she crossed with Misho and Soma. It looks like just another bright day - the world, unassuming to the massacre that happened only a few weeks ago, seems to be as peaceful as ever.

A knock on the door makes her jump a little bit, and Sakura turns towards it immediately. The familiar, gentle face of Riko gives her a trademark half-smile, and she enters the room, dragging a food cart behind her. Just now, Sakura notices how very _hungry_ she is, her mouth eagerly watering. It's just hospital food, yes, but her stomach is still achingly empty.

"Good morning, Sakura," greets the woman, cheerfully. "I'll let you eat some and then you can ask me your three questions," she adds, pulling the cart and a chair towards her.

"Good morning," Sakura replies, absently, pouncing the food like a particularly gluttony predator.

If Naruto was here, he would be so proud… She stops that train of thought immediately, instead focusing on chewing and swallowing. Riko waits quietly, glancing towards the window idly, until she is done. If the older medic finds something strange in her speedy decimation of the poor soup and meat rations, she doesn't say anything. Somehow, the girl manages to still retain some decency and manners while doing this, even though she's eating almost like a snake.

"Well…" Sakura mutters, when she is done. "How about my physiological and psychological condition? What is… _wrong_ with me?" she asks, carefully.

As if she had expected this sort of question, Riko is quick to give a brief summary.

"Physically, you are more or less _okay_ \- still healing, but you should be good to go very soon. Psychologically… I'm afraid we aren't sure. You don't seem to be under a curse, seal or genjutsu - but there are things that trigger violent hallucinations, both visual and auditory, and so far you have been nearly unable to tell them from reality. It seems to be something within your memories or perception, but we aren't completely sure. We don't know how to treat it yet."

Sakura nods slowly, understanding the implication - mental illnesses. They can happen because of bad experiences, and considering she has been blocking those thoughts as hard as she can... it's understandable that when there is an outburst or slip, it's incredibly violent.

She experienced depression before, but this is something a lot more dangerous. The only thing she can plan for is running reality checks as often as possible, and be _very_ careful with attacking if she feels a need to defend herself.

"What are these?" she asks, pointing towards the dark tendrils, still slightly fuming with black worms.

"I'll be honest with you, we have absolutely no clue," Riko admits, her tone sounding slightly defeated. "They seem to be hampering the flow of your chakra and the amount of it that your body can store. I am sure you have noticed this already." Sakura nods silently. "They don't seem to be doing anything else. We aren't sure what they are, since our analysis didn't tell us anything useful. If you allow us to, we will run more tests to see what they are. We need your consent, since as you know, this might be a risky procedure."

"I consent," Sakura replies, almost too quickly. Riko assents, looking content with her decision. "Can I start helping?" the kunoichi looks at the medic, eyes hopeful and slightly desperate. "I might be unable to use my chakra properly, but I can analyse patients and apply remedies. Tsunade-shishou made sure I can handle anything," she adds, slightly beaming with pride for her teacher. Secretly, she also wants to try and find friends or allies, perhaps even Shishou. Just _someone_ that she knows.

"You will attempt escaping if we don't allow you to," Riko comments, more of a statement than a question. Sakura feels half shameful, half brave for knowing that she is right. The woman sighs, and looks at her thoughtfully for a long time, before finally answering: "we will allow you to aid our staff while you recover. Don't overwork yourself, or we won't doubt in revoking this privilege. You are still a patient, but right now we need as much help as we can get."

* * *

Sakura leans back on her chair, stretching. It's nearly two in the morning and she still doesn't feel like sleeping. She glances towards Misho, who is currently curled up in a corner of the room with one of the dogs that Yugakure uses for therapy. They still look a bit too similar to Akamaru, but she's getting used to it.

"You're still awake?" she asks, furrowing her brows.

Misho looks at her with red, tired eyes, nodding. The dog he is using as an impromptu pillow yawns and licks his face. The boy abuses of the fact that Sakura's ability to pay attention to more than one thing at time is... well, very messed up, and keeps sneaking into the lab. In the end she gave up trying to keep him out, but provided him with a pillow to sit on.

Sakura glances at the vials and dishes she has spent the past three days experimenting on, with Riko's permission. Yugakure's forest is particularly productive of sedative fungus, though the secondary effects include blood poisoning after long-term ingestion. There might be a way to fix that, but so far, there hasn't been much progress.

Sighing, the kunoichi gets up and drags herself towards the kid. Lazily, the dog wags its tail to welcome her, as she sits down next to Misho.

"You really should go to your room," she mutters, lying back on the furry body of the canine.

The kid shakes his head and leans on her shoulder. Sakura closes her eyes - lately, she has been a bit wary of closeness to people, but she manages to tolerate it with just a small frown, which is imperceptible to him. There is so much tiredness and dull aching in her body, that all she wishes for is rest. She can't get it, since the nightmares are still as common as ever, so instead she tries to stay awake as much as she can.

Absently, she traces the dark lines of the chakra tendrils on her skin with a finger. The worms are still difficult to notice if she doesn't concentrate on visualizing them, though other people seem to have no problem with that. By now, she has grown accustomed to the cold-burn feeling they produce in her, but manipulating chakra is still very troublesome.

The dog's steady breathing and warm fur calms her down, and she pets the animal's head distractedly. She is sure these dogs are able to manipulate chakra in order to help other creatures to relax. Just being near them seems to cause fuzzy, peaceful feelings in her.

Next to her, Misho is half-snoring, finally having lost the battle to sleep. She looks at the clock - it's three in the morning now. Time goes by very quickly sometimes… It's been just four days since she was allowed to help in the hospital, and everything has passed by in a blur.

Sakura has slept, maybe, two or three hours in that time? She knows it isn't healthy, but the thought of seeing the nightmares again is too nerve-wracking. Even with medicine or chakra methods to knock her out, she keeps having them.

Sudden movement startles her - Misho has started to slide down her shoulder, and his head falls on her lap. He still doesn't wake up, but Sakura is stuck staring at him in surprise. The boy seems to be quite happy in his sleep, hugging her waist like she's a particularly comfortable pillow.

' _I don't like it, but I don't want to awake him..._ '

"You're too nice," comments a well-known voice, coming from right next to her. Sakura nearly jumps to her feet, but manages to resist it. Instead, she just turns her head towards the owner of the voice - the very familiar illusion of Naruto.

She scowls at him and feels the very real temptation to attempt punching it. He raises his hands defensively, as if he could read her thoughts. Considering this is all a product of her mind, it's not surprising.

"Hey, hey, aren't you happy to see me? Come on, Sakura-chan, it's not like I'm hurting you," he explains, grinning. Sakura's fist clenches by her side, and she grits her teeth. _It's not real._

Perhaps if she ignores it, it'll go away? She readies herself to perform reality checks if the vision gets any worse, though it's also a possibility that she has fallen asleep and this is just a dream. A very convincing one, but most of the ones she's been having, tend to be - that is why it's so difficult to tell them apart from the truth.

Noticing the tenseness in her body, she breathes slowly to calm down. The Naruto doppelganger doesn't say anything, though she can see him staring at her, through the corner of her eye. His expression is difficult to read, but Sakura can tell he looks tired.

"You're just in my head," she mutters in a low voice. It wouldn't be good if someone heard her talking to thin air. Granted, she's dealt with Inner-Sakura for a long time, but this is different.

"Well, just because things are only in your head, it doesn't mean they aren't real," he shoots back, waving a hand dismissively.

"I'm seeing things because I'm lacking sleep," Sakura says, more to herself than to the bizarre copy of her teammate. Just a reminder that it isn't really _him_. There is nothing to worry about, as long as she keeps her head cool. Way easier said than done, obviously, but it's the best option.

Naruto nods, his expression softening just a tiny bit. The kunoichi has to admit, it's very, very convincing.

"The thing is, you're seeing me because you're so tired that your brain is very... derpy, since you've barely slept. So you could say I'm here to prevent you from dealing with creepier things," the illusion explains, though this isn't any new information for Sakura.

"Can you just be quiet?" she grumbles.

Naruto shrugs, leaning back on the wall.

"Fine, I'll be a good boy, but just because it's you, Sakura-chan."

She doesn't bother to reply, and instead looks for the crow feather in her pockets. She doesn't go anywhere without it - whenever it looks like reality is slipping away, it's a very good anchor for her thoughts. Blocking out the rest and concentrating on it, Sakura usually manages to keep her mind in check.

Holding it between her fingers, she practises breathing exercises to also keep herself calm. It requires a bit too much effort to concentrate, but it's doable. The dark color of the feather seems to slowly start engulfing her mind, calm and soothing.

Sakura has to blink a few times to make sure, but… is it just her, or it's starting to spread? Like fog, the blackness seems to be clouding her vision. She's trapped, and before she knows it, the world has lost its light. Confused, she attempts to look around, but she can't move. It's impossible to see anything, but for some reason, it doesn't feel threatening.

After an undetermined period of time, she feels a presence close to her, though she can't see it. Something brushes her arm, softly, as a gust of wind blows through the empty space. It starts swirling around her, and Sakura realises the things brushing against her skin are more feathers. Each of them seems to have a different feel to it, like the chakra in them is unique.

There's whispers of familiar voices, encouraging and lovely, though painful all the same. A dream doesn't need scary monsters, to be a nightmare - Sakura has learned that much in the last weeks. She still can't see anything, but she feels the presence move, weaving through the feathers, until it's in front of her. The vague silhouette starts taking a shape, and then…

Someone is shaking her, kneeling in front of her and grabbing her shoulder gently. The lab is filled with soft morning light, and Kiri is trying to wake her up. Sakura mumbles something incoherent and pushes him away, rubbing her temples. That dream was weird, even for her standards.

Naruto's illusion is gone, but Misho is still using her as an impromptu pillow, sleeping profoundly. Sakura blinks a few times and yawns. The clock marks eight in the morning now, and she can hear the sounds of the hospital, starting to stir with activity.

"Take the kid to your room and meet me at the lounge. Riko and I need to talk a few things with you," whispers the Kiri-nin, stepping back and crossing his arms on his chest. Tiredly, Sakura nods and picks up the sleeping form of Misho.

The boy doesn't even seem to notice, still breathing like he is _almost_ snoring, but not completely. The dog behind her gets up and stretches, walking out of the room alongside Sakura. Misho's weight is really light in her arms, she notices. He really _is_ so young...

If only she knew where Soma or his parents are, to bring him with them. She hasn't seen any of those people since she got here, but her mind has been too cloudy to ask. It's better to leave the kid in her room, than in the cold floor of the lab, with a pillow or without it.

She lowers him down to the bed, and watches as the old dog lazily lies down on the floor. Like an oversized, loyal puppy, it seems to have taken a liking to the boy. Sakura still sleeps in her patient room, since the kunoichi is still, technically, a patient. She doubts anyone will mind if she leaves Misho to warm up the bed while she's gone.

The pink-haired girl walks to the lounge, where she spots Riko and Kiri sitting down near a particularly big window. They're chatting casually, and Sakura spots a third plate full of food, and an empty chair.

' _How considerate_ ,' chirps Inner-Sakura, probably just to remind her that she still exists.

"Hey, speaking of our local nutso," comments Kiri, when he sees her approach. Sakura gives him a scowl, though with the dark rings around her eyes, it probably looks like a deathstare from a ghost.

The kunoichi sits down and glares at the food. They were thoughtful when choosing it - it's all stuff she likes. She's used to having very messy eating schedules, but Kiri and Riko are in charge of her recovery (physically and psychologically, respectively), so they don't let her go completely uncontrolled with that.

"So," comments Riko, waving a pair of chopsticks casually. "While you eat, I can tell you the plans we have for your recovery plan, Sakura." Finally, the woman has started to call her less formally... While Riko called her by name since the first day, it felt quite awkward, like she wasn't sure about her choice of words. A strange effect, since the medic tends to be good with talking.

The pink-haired girl nods tiredly, and starts forcing herself to have some breakfast, regardless of how much her stomach feels like she just had a particularly extreme rollercoaster ride. Kiri clicks his tongue and goes back to his own food.

"As you know, your condition is restricting the flow of chakra in your body. Under supervision, we want to start you to do exercises with it. We have heard of your prowess with chakra control and manipulation, but the sooner we start with this, the better," Riko explains. "You can keep helping in the lab in the meanwhile, and we will also attempt psychology therapy sessions to assess the state of your mind. This way, we might be able to find a proper medication for you. Your visions seem to be getting slightly better, aren't they?"

Sakura nods, because there is no way she is going to tell Riko that a few hours ago, she chatted with Naruto's image. She knows she is being stubborn, but so far, she is dealing with the issue just fine. Her priority is to be deemed healthy as soon as possible, and for now, she can probably handle her 'inconveniences' on her own.

"They say you're developing paranoia… schizo, more or less," adds Kiri, earning himself a scowl from Riko.

Sakura enjoys watching them bicker with each other - while the woman deals with things as softly as possible, the Kiri-nin tends to tackle issues more directly and with a bit too much sarcasm. They work well with each other, but their personalities do clash more often than not.

"Yeah, about that… there seem to be certain things that trigger those violent reactions in you. The feeling of being watched, of constant danger… it's likely you've experienced a very deep trauma, something common when you work as a shinobi, so we will have to work on that. Your case is slightly special due to the stress you were exposed to, but with a bit of luck, you will still be able to function without any special medication, and you'll just need some time and therapy to recover."

Sakura nods again, absently, pushing rice around her plate. This is nothing new, but it's a bit reassuring to know the causes behind her recurring dreams and hallucinations. She tends to keep them in check with healthy doses of rationality and analysation, and so far, so good. It might not be a direct genjutsu, but it's like dealing with one that lasts every moment of her day and night.

"Will I be able to train?" she asks, looking up at Riko. The older woman exchanges a look with Kiri, that just _reeks_ of having expected this sort of question. It's not like Sakura is talking about something weird, anyways.

"Once we have figured out how your chakra system works, yes. For now, you are better off not trying to use any more than what you strictly need," she responds, somewhat mechanically.

The girl nods once more (it seems to have become _her thing_ , to avoid talking) and looks outside the window. Another bright day, in which she feels like an useless burden. The urge to do something that _helps_ people instead of taking up their time, effort and attention, is growing a bit too strong.

It's been a constant sensation since she left the battlefield - no matter how much these people admire her and tell her she's just an injured patient, she still feels worthless. It can't be easily helped, though - she _can_ directly the blamed for the massacre of a few thousand shinobi.

Someone pokes her in the shoulder, and she comes out of her ruminations with a startled wince. Her two table companions are staring at her with a mix of sympathetic and medical worry. Kiri is the one who did it, without a doubt - he knows the effect that physical contact has on her, and uses it to make her come back to reality when Sakura's thoughts start losing track. She glares at him everytime, but it does work.

"You know, you've been doing a lot of good for that brat," comments Kiri, nonchalantly leaning back on his chair and looking towards Sakura. "Misho."

Sakura tilts her head to the side, confused.

"...Yes?" she replies, unsure about what does he want to tell her.

"Isn't it a bit weird that he's been your new shadow since you got here?" asks Kiri, casually.

Sakura's mouth is agape with slight surprise, He has a point, though - for a kid that admires his parents so much, he probably would have wanted to stick with them, and not a complete stranger. Truth be told, though, her ability to remain on this planet and not daydreaming about random things… well, it isn't the best, to put it lightly. It's irritating, but there isn't much she can do about it.

"His parents are two of our most famous medics," comments Riko. "And his brother… well, I must say he is one of the most talented apprentices we've ever had. Misho-kun, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be so properly suited for such tasks."

"He sucks at chakra control," grumbles Kiri, withstanding Riko's subsequent stare like it's no big deal. He seems to be one of the only things able to mess with her usually calm demeanor. "And… well, it's easy to get overlooked when your whole family are prodigies."

Sakura nods, understanding a bit better. In fact, she can almost relate to Misho - Kakashi-sensei is a genius, and her teammates are definitely on a level that can't be matched by anyone else.

' _The ones that are alive, yeah… oh, wait, there's none!_ ' scolds Inner-Sakura, as bitter as usual.

"What this... insensitive fellow is trying to say," adds Riko, saying 'insensitive fellow' like it's the most offensive thing she can think of, making Kiri smirk. "You're probably the only person that boy has. I'm aware you are not in the best of conditions, but… it could probably help both of you, if you don't drop that." She looks at Sakura, hope glinting in her eyes and her trademark half-smile once again on her face.

"Yeah… sure," Sakura replies, fiddling with her medic robe and looking down at her lap. In their own ways, Kiri and Riko have become their new friends. They are quite subtle in how they do it, but they do help her more than a medic normally would.

"That's the spirit!" Kiri raises a fist, beaming. Sakura catches a glimpse of the satisfied look him and Riko exchange. And for some reason, it makes her feel a little bit better.

* * *

"They're… gone?"

The hag look-alike that sits behind the desk gives her a look that seems to be considering the quality of her brain.

"Of course. We have no room for foreign ninja, and they were in a perfect condition. They left a day after your rehabilitation," she informs, glancing at her papers. "Anything else?" she asks, with a tone that just screams 'get the fuck out of my office if you are only trying to bother me further'. For some reason, Sakura can picture this woman cursing like a sailor, while still speaking with a very elaborate vocabulary

"No, thank you."

Sakura makes her way out and slumps on a bench near the door, where Misho sits, waiting for her. There's a dog, as usual, accompanying him.

"Any luck?" he asks, perking up when he sees the pink-haired kunoichi. She shakes her head, dejectedly.

"The survivors from Konoha left a few days ago… and I'm not privy to seeing the archives and informs for their names," she explains, stifling a yawn and rubbing her eyes. "I know there aren't that many, but… it would've been nice to see them."

Misho nods, patting the dog's back enthusiastically. The big animal wags its tail, resting its head on his lap.

Sakura sighs, resting her head on her hands. She tried to find the ninja from her village since the day she got out of the room, but between treatment, therapy, distraction and being watched most of the time by Kiri and Riko, she barely had any chances to figure out how to. And now, they're all on the way back to Konoha. Which means that at least, they're all probably fine. Good enough for the trip back.

As a quiet thought in the back of her mind, she also realises this means that Konoha still exists. She knows Kumo was simply annihilated, but the situation of the rest of the world is pretty much unknown. All that is known is that Sasuke vanished like a particularly destructive storm, and the shinobi world is trying to figure out how to survive.

One thing is clear - no village will be able to recover on their own. Now is the time where they'll exterminate each other, or figure out how to work together to survive. And unlike Naruto, Sakura isn't sure there is that much of a bright future ahead.

' _Look at where that got him_ ,' whispers Inner-Sakura. As usual, voicing the harsh truths she doesn't want to admit, with a venomous voice.

"Are you going to go back to Konoha?" the kid asks, shaking Sakura out of her thoughts. The girl knows he doesn't want her to leave - that would mean he will be mostly on his own once more.

Misho looks up at her, like a brother to a big sister. Almost like some sort of hero. Many times, Sakura feels the temptation to shatter his idealistic image of her, but that's just too cruel. It isn't a thing she would normally do, but she feels that inside her, she's developing some sort of bitter hatred for the world.

"I still need a little bit to recover. I just got my rehabilitation plan, this morning… it'll probably be a while until I'm fit to travel there on my own," Sakura replies, shaking her head.

The implication is clear, and though the boy looks sad, he seems quite understanding. He has to be _that_ sort of person, to be so alone and remain so kind. Reminding her a bit too much of Naruto, though this kid lacks the unyielding desire for getting better that her friend had.

"Let's get going, then! I wanna see you do chakra stuff so badly!" ...He is just as enthusiastic, though. Misho jumps from the bench and grabs her hands, pulling her onto her feet.

Sakura can't avoid smiling. Her entire world is still shattered, and there are so many things that are broken and wrong, within and out of her. So much fear, and doubt, and pain. But she smiles, because there's still good things out there.


	6. Cloak of Darkness | Arc I: Recovery

_When you hide yourself in a web of lies, getting lost is the last of your problems._

Sakura whistles as she makes her way out of her room, nearly hopping out of sheer vivacity. Part of it is due to the _almost_ good sleep she had last night (only one nightmare!) and the coffee she managed to smuggle into her breakfast. In all honesty, she hadn't felt this good in, seemingly, forever.

And also, because today she has been given _freedom_. Goodbye, endless days of hospital boredom! Hello, Yugakure! It took a lot of bickering back and forth between Kiri and Sakura against Riko, but she has finally been allowed to have some time to roam around.

"Hey, miss-nin," greets Misho, waiting for her at the entrance of the hospital. The dogs aren't allowed to follow him out, so he is alone, for once. She has noticed that there is always, at least, one of them with the kid. Considering he probably looks like a lost puppy to them, it's not surprising.

Waving a hand and gifting him a smile, Sakura looks at the outside of the hospital longingly. To be fair, yesterday she proved she would be able to disable low-level ninja without much trouble, so there isn't much of an excuse to stop her from walking around and stretching her limbs.

"I can show you this really cool restaurant, if it's open… and there's a park with nice views. You're gonna love it," chirps Misho, dancing around her as they leave the hospital. She listens to him while looking around curiously. It's a bright day, warm for the standards of Yugakure's late autumn, and the air is refreshing and filled with all sorts of scents. Even though the village is still mostly vacant of civilians, it's _lively_.

It's a strange feeling, because if she keeps ignoring the voices echoing in her head, Sakura could almost start bouncing around enthusiastically. For the most part, her dreams have remained the same, and there haven't been many illusions. Mostly, people who are definitely dead, quietly appearing where she doesn't expect them to be. All things considered, not bad. She's still paranoid of turning around a corner and finding _Him_ , but the lack of news has helped to dull the fear a tiny bit.

And her body… while it feels like she is constantly restless, the bandages she uses are mostly to avoid friction on her marks and scars. They're healed, yes, but her skin insists on staying tender and delicate. It has been a few weeks since Sakura was found, so the lack of chakra still bothers her. Normally, she would be able to amass it in her body and Yin seal easily, but it looks like it won't be that easy to go back to _normalcy_ , if there is still a chance for such a thing.

' _I'm definitely healing… slowly, but I'm getting better_ ,' she muses, breathing deeply and calmly. She is still wearing the clothes Misho and Soma gave her, because going around with a hospital gown wasn't an option. They don't cover the black and crimson lines of chakra tendrils on her skin more than the bandages do, but Sakura doesn't really mind it.

The pink-haired girl is taken out of her daydreaming when she notices something is off in the atmosphere. Is it an illusion? No, it looks real enough… A smell, a sound, perhaps?

' _The sharpest kunai in the box!_ ' taunts Inner-Sakura, as she realises that Misho is looking at her in expectant silence. Oh, shit… he asked a question, didn't he?

"Sorry, what did you say? I didn't hear it," Sakura apologizes, cursing on her messed up attention span.

"Can you teach me… anything?" he repeats, so normally that Sakura wonders how many times she has gotten distracted and ignored entire sentences completely. Either that, or the kid is patient. Misho doesn't seem too bothered, either way - quite the opposite, he seems to be radiating hope. The image reminds her of an adorable puppy, begging for food.

Sakura had expected this question, yes, but she is still unsure about how to answer. It isn't uncommon for civilians to feel curiosity about shinobi techniques, but most people would simply give up due to the amount of work it requires.

And even then, many of the ninja never go past low ranks, simply because they aren't smart or talented enough. There are people with unyielding willpower, who simply refuse to give up and find their own ways to achieve their goals, but those are rare.

Misho, sadly, doesn't look like shinobi material. He would be a decent healer, if not for his subpar chakra control. He isn't _stupid_ , either, but the kid is definitely no genius. He's too passive to take the motivation angle. So what should she say? 'Sorry, you aren't good enough to be either a medic or a ninja, try again in your next life'?

No, there must be something - the boy is kind and patient, full of energy. Even if he has to learn slowly, there has to be something he can do. A grin spreads across Sakura's features, as an idea comes to her head. Misho is almost shivering with expectation.

"How good is your calligraphy?" she asks, nonchalantly, pretending to be serious.

"Uh… well." He looks down at his feet, uncertain about how to qualify it. This is probably one of the last things he had expected as a response. "It's okay, I guess. Most people understand what I write, if that's what you mean," he adds, looking back at her with whatever remains of hope he has left.

"Good enough!" Sakura determines, with a wink and a grin.

Misho _explodes_ of joy, figuratively, all laughs and hops around the girl. He didn't even ask what is her plan, distracted by just the fact that she agreed to teach him. His enthusiasm doesn't subside during the rest of the day, as they walk through the peaceful Yu. As ninja from the Alliance leave to their respective villages or countries, the civilians have started to be brought back from the shelters. It's definitely not as empty as it was, when Sakura got here.

It's all done in an orderly fashion: depending on people's jobs and social positions, they're brought back sooner or later. By now, most of the basic shops, bars and restaurants are open, much to Misho's delight. Sakura doesn't want to indulge too much regarding food - her stomach still refuses to take too much of it. Besides, if she comes back with obvious signs of belly issues, Riko will probably have her grounded in the hospital for ages.

All of these ideas pretty much fly out of the window when they find a stand serving umeboshi with rice, smelling like someone just snatched it straight from Heaven. Sakura feels her mouth watering eagerly, until she realises a slightly relevant thing: she has no money.

' _I mean, who in their right mind would take money to a damn war?_ ' Inner-Sakura complains, ruefully, mostly because the food looks really tasty.

Sakura's aura immediately becomes grim, drooping shoulders and dejected gaze reflecting the impact of her realisation. Not only food is out of her reach - without funds, she can't buy any ninja equipment. _Dammit._

A steamy plate of umeboshi is put under her nose, startling her. Sakura jumps back, looking around wildly. Innocently, Misho scratches the back of his neck, holding up the bowl of food.

"Kiri and Riko knew you are kinda poor at the moment," he says, whistling nonchalantly. "So… are you gonna eat this, or can I tell them you felt ill?" he adds, glancing down at the food wolfishly.

' _He's a glutton?_ ' grumbles Inner-Sakura, jaw dropping open and with a slight eye twitch. ' _You know… I think there's a fair way to pay for the jumpscare, don't you agree?_ ' she adds, grinning evilly.

Sakura shakes her head, putting up her own grateful smile and walking closer to take the bowl.

"Thank you very much, Misho." She bows down and plants a kiss on his forehead, and then moves back to wait for his reaction.

It takes a few seconds for it to register, as the kid stares forward blankly. Then the skin of his face turns red like a cherry, reminding her of Hinata (' _Don't remember, don't remember..._ '). Misho starts stammering and mumbling, looking at her like he just found the end of the rainbow. His legs give in underneath him, his eyes comically wide.

Sakura bursts out in laughter, doubling over and balancing the bowl of umeboshi in one hand. That reaction is something she isn't going to forget anytime soon. The middle-aged man in charge of the stall is also laughing discreetly. By the end of it, the kunoichi is wiping tears from her eyes, trying to survive a coughing fit.

Misho seems to snap out of it and rushes over to her side, to steady her and hold the troublesome umeboshi bowl. Sakura tightens her jaws, breathing with difficulty. As stress relief, she shuts her eyes and curls her hands into tight fists.

"Oh… that looks bad," she hears the kid mutter, just as the girl feels a pang of copper in her mouth. Supporting herself with her hands on her knees, Sakura opens her eyes, her gaze meeting a small splatter of blood on the pavement of the street, right in front of her.

The vendor near them takes pity on her and offers a glass of water, which Sakura gulps down swiftly. Feeling slightly better, she thanks the man and gestures for Misho to start leading her through the village again. He looks at her with concern, but obeys.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sakura nods, tentatively snatching a ball of umeboshi and rice. It tastes just as good as it smells. It's just so much better than the dull hospital food. Ignoring the faint ache in her chest and throat, she gets another tiny round of the snack, trying to savor every piece of it.

They go to the nearby park that Misho talked about, a picnic garden full of aromatic bushes and slim, elegant trees. It's a big contrast, compared to the rest of the landscape, but it's quiet and peaceful. The pair sits down under the shade of a particularly welcoming tree, sharing the small dish of food.

Sakura forces herself to relax - the chances of enemies hiding behind the bushes are quite small, regardless of what her sense of constant alert tells her. She refuses to answer to her constant, nagging thoughts of reflecting back on the events that led to her being here. The girl knows that if she gives in, it will take a very long time for her to be able to process all of it.

There is pain for the loss and torture she endured, fear for the uncertainty and loneliness, and overall, a heavy cloak that just screams 'despair'. Maybe when she goes back home, there will be a chance for things to get better. Right now, her only option is to shut it all out - mentally, she imagines it as grabbing all of those emotions and thoughts, squeezing them into a tight ball, and tossing them aside.

Once she gets back home, when and where she doesn't have to play strong… only then, Sakura will allow herself to deal with all the mess in her head. For now, the only option is to recover as much as possible, until she is able to go on her way to Konoha. It's the only thing she has left.

' _I've never been a good liar,_ ' she muses, watching the tiny flocks of birds fly from one tree to the other. If not for the cold and dull colors of the upcoming winter, the landscape would be truly beautiful. ' _But I can pretend… just for a little while. Block it off… just don't remember, Sakura._ '

She almost wants to use the word 'believe' in her ruminations, but Sakura doubts she would be able to use that world for this situation, without feeling like too much of an hypocrite. Yes, this is her plan of action - the pink-haired kunoichi will have to train as intensively as possible, just so she can go back _home_ before it all comes crashing down on her.

About an hour after they arrive to the park, Misho bursts her bubble of thinking and worrying by asking if it would be time to go back. Instead of a hesitant, quiet nod, Sakura gives him an enthusiastic smile.

"Training time!" she chirps, jumping up to her feet. The girl ignores the slight jolt of pain in her legs and the ever-present feeling that someone, just barely outside of her field of view, is stalking her.

* * *

"Holy shit."

Sakura smirks, panting lightly. Holding her two kunai in front of her, she is ready to start deflecting weapons in an instant again. They aren't _real_ , obviously - mostly, they're rubber balls and sticks, flung at her with the same strength of regular throwing weapons.

Riko takes notes calmly, as Kiri gives her a huge thumbs-up. Most of her opponents are Iwa-nin, whom he still dislikes quite a bit, so he feels pretty happy to see Sakura thrashing them around effortlessly. Misho's mouth is wide open - this is probably the first time he has seen a ninja in action, and having run out of words for amazement, he's resorted to curse words.

"Enough for now," mutters Riko, putting down her notepad and clapping her hands. Sakura nods, wiping sweat from her forehead and bowing slightly to her opponent. The poor man has spent the last half hour trying to hit her with all sorts of rubber-made projectiles, but he has failed miserably. His smug expression when Sakura walked in the practice room vanished after about five minutes of not being able to land a single hit.

"That was so fucking awesome!" beams Misho, hopping around her like an overly excited puppy. Sakura smiles at him. She runs through a few exercises to prevent her muscles from cramping up later, and then plops down next to Riko.

"How was that for a first session?" she asks, when she's regained her breath fully. Her whole body feels _excited_ with energy. She hadn't done any sort of serious exercise in nearly three weeks, and though Tsunade-shishou would laugh if she dared to call this 'intense work', she still feels content with the result. True, she practiced her movement and speed by disabling opponents in the past day, but this is the first real training she's had to do.

"Admirable," replies Riko, and Kiri seems to be coughing back a chuckle. "Tsunade-sama trained you to fight in conditions of low chakra, didn't she?"

Sakura nods, remembering that to be able to reach this level, she took many, many hits first. It's true that the man who tried to hit her didn't make it too difficult, because her body is still nowhere near its full potential and she hasn't trained in a while… but it's still quite nice.

"Tsunade-shishou trained me to be able to fight even with chakra exhaustion. As a medic… in dire conditions, I might not have much to spare to defend myself. Being able to avoid the worst hits is the key."

Riko tilts her head to the side, and behind her hazel eyes, Sakura can see a glimpse of awe. Yes, Tsunade was the kind of woman who would throw you down a cliff, while yelling at you to figure out how to survive the fall. By experience, the pink-haired girl knows the Godaime would do that.

Misho keeps jumping around and blabbering about _this and that and the other_ 'cool things', earning himself a smack in the back of the head from the Kiri-nin. The two of them tend to bicker more often than not, since apparently the older man isn't cool enough to be acting so smugly, in the kid's opinion. When the boy falls asleep in random places, though, it's mostly Kiri who covers him with blankets. Sakura feels a bit guilty for being too distracted to notice such things often.

Today is the day, though - Sakura will be running through different tests to see how her body holds up. Ninjutsu is something she can't do due to her limitations, but taijutsu and dispelling genjutsu will be part of it. Riko wanted to test her capabilities before getting to the 'serious stuff', though judging by her evaluating gaze, the medic seems mostly impressed.

' _Thank you, Shishou,_ ' Sakura mutters in her head. The Sannin trained her very thoroughly, and it's thanks to her that no matter how her body is aching for rest, she is able to put up a good fight. Granted, it's nothing compared to what some other ninja would be able to pull off… but that doesn't mean it's nothing.

The chakra in her almost hurts, flowing at its limit through her. The marks of chakra tendrils seem to be burning Sakura's skin harder, and now she can see them clearly, trying to eat up all the excess. She tried to use as little chakra as possible during her exercise, but it's only natural for a ninja to enhance their movements with it. She is used to shaping it at will, so it requires some concentration to avoid forcing her body to push against its limitations. It's like there is a tight net wrapped around her, constricting the kunoichi's movements.

That's how she describes it to Riko, when the medic asks the customary questions. She is still deemed fit to continue with the testing, so now they move on to taijutsu practice. Her opponent, a helping medic-nin from Iwa, looks at her warily, having seen her nonchalant avoidance of about two hundred rubber projectiles.

Sakura and her female sparring partner share cautious glances, from opposite corners of the training floor. It's a wide, open room, quite similar to a gym. Recovering patients often use it as part of therapies, just like Sakura is doing right now.

"Akira-san, Sakura, you may begin." Riko's voice echoes towards them, and Sakura doesn't think twice before making her first movement.

Sprinting towards the Iwa-nin, Sakura attempts to assess her opponent's strengths and weaknesses. One thing about the different villages are their fighting styles - in Iwa, they teach to defend, counter and stand strong, just like a rock. By attacking first, she is giving the other girl the advantage. To make sure her guess is right, though, she has to get the other kunoichi to move.

Akira waits until the last second, her gaze intently focused on Sakura, who throws a sideways kick just to test her reflexes. The stance of the Iwa-nin is good, but her movements aren't too fluid. She manages to block with a hand, but the force of the blow knocks her back. Sakura sees the surprise in her face, just for a split second, as they stare at each other from their newly recovered distance.

This is one thing that Tsunade-shishou told her about - the constant use of chakra to enhance power ends up causing strengthening of the body and chakra flow. While limited on the latter, Sakura is still much stronger than she appears to be. And obviously, the Iwa-nin hadn't expected that, now eyeing her in a quiet evaluation.

Sakura noticed that this girl isn't very fast, so she decides to risk it and sprints towards her again. A good ninja, though, never performs the same trick twice - in the last second, just as Akira prepares a countering blow to her chest, Sakura feints to the side and somersaults over her opponent's head, hitting her shoulder in the process, with just two fingers of her right hand. The stretch in her muscles is quite painful, but the attack works.

Akira's left arm falls uselessly to the side, disabled by the precise blow, but Sakura's attack still has a bit to go. The Iwa-nin is quick enough to duck and turn around with a sweeping kick, though the pink-haired girl had already expected this method of counter. Akira expected her to take advantage of her slowness and gap in defense, attacking her exposed back... but that would have been too obvious.

Instead, Sakura lands just barely out of reach and jumps over the kick, punching the other girl squarely in the stomach, since her defense is geared towards protecting her remaining shoulder. Akira is pushed back a few meters, rolling on the ground and ending up lying on the floor, on her side.

Tsunade-shishou found out that Sakura's prowess in the Academy, genjutsu and chakra control comes from her ability to spot and follow patterns. When she fights, she uses what is virtually the opposite of Naruto's chaotic style. But knowing this ability of hers, she is able to cause just as much havoc, just in different ways.

Sakura was trained to use her ability to quickly analyse an enemy's fighting style, a wound's characteristics or a situation that requires extremely fast thinking. She has it easy finding said patterns and countering them, finding the gaps and mistakes that let her strike right where it hurts most. And judging by the Iwa-nin's pained moan, she managed to do just that.

She noticed that the way Akira moves indicates two things: first, her arms aren't too strong, and Sakura probably hurt them with her first blow. Second, her opponent refused to move too much, even for an Iwa-nin. Since her legs seemed just fine, Sakura looked at her torso instead - and there, she saw a vulnerability, a thin shape underneath the other ninja's shirt. Bandages. Quite a low blow, but it worked.

"Enough," orders Riko, shaking her out of her thoughts. Both her and Akira's heads snap towards the medic, who is in turn looking at Sakura, evaluating.

"Just a sec, I'll fix you up," says the pink-haired girl, nodding and trotting up to Akira. She holds up her immobilised arm, sitting on the ground.

A quick jab to Akira's shoulder later, the Iwa-nin is dismissed and Sakura walks back to the two medics and Misho.

"How was that?" Sakura asks, sitting down next to the kid.

"Depends… did it hurt when you hit her shoulder?" Riko replies, tapping on the notepad with her pen.

Sakura shakes her head, looking at her hand distractedly. If Akira's arms hadn't been this weak, she wouldn't have been able to incapacitate them like that. It was a gamble and a stretch for what she can do right now, but testing is the only way to find out the things she can do or can't.

"You used a carefully measured amount of chakra to disrupt the flow of hers." Sakura nods, not seeing where Riko's explanation is going too clearly. "That means you still have an important level of control over your chakra - more than most people do. Enough to make you block Akira-san's chakra without over-exerting yourself."

"The point is, normally it takes a lot of effort to disable people like that, and even with your limitations, you did it without batting an eye," adds Kiri, helpfully. Riko nods. "That is something… unheard of."

"Tsunade-shishou said it's the way I control chakra. I don't have too much, so she taught me to spend it wisely. Her plans for me… were to make me be able to have large reserves of it, through the Yin seal. That would have countered my low stamina," Sakura explains, motioning towards the purple rhombus in her forehead.

"I see… The Sannin are considered legendary for a reason, I suppose. We will work on control exercises, Sakura, and see if we can work around your current limitations through this."

Riko proceeds to call for the next opponent of Sakura, an undersized man that is supposed to test her in genjutsu. Getting up to her feet, the kunoichi walks to him and waits. Nothing changes in the man's relaxed, casual stance. The room remains the same, as well. But slowly, bits of increasingly complex illusions start to bleed into the scene.

' _So he knows how to create illusions without seals..._ '

First it's the chirping sound of a flock of birds, shattering the windows and flying in, ready to tear Sakura apart. A simple 'kai' dissolves the very unconvincing genjutsu. The ones that follow start getting slightly better: disorientation, darkness, being transported to strange places and put in distressing situations…

It works just fine, until a familiar voice rings in Sakura's ears. Her carefully constructed security falls apart in an instant, and she turns around on the well-known, dusty ground of the battlefield. The sky is cloudy, fierce wind storming through the barren land, carrying moans of pain and agony.

She looks down - her feet are splattered with blood, which flows in small rivulets, pooling in the lowest parts of the landscape. There's bits of flesh and human parts scattered in it… but what catches her attention is the call for her name and the _things_ that suddenly start holding her in place. She can't move, immobilised by hundreds of black and purple chakra tendrils, burning into her skin.

In front of her, Sasuke lifts a childish image of Naruto, holding his sword against the kid's throat. His vocal chords have been pulled out, and he chokes in his own blood, squirming and trying to kick his aggressor.

"Give up, and I'll let him go," growls the Uchiha, squeezing Naruto's throat just a bit harder. There is no trace of human emotion in him, one eye shining purple and the other red, both focused on her.

"Never!" Sakura cries, feeling her own fear and pain, shaking her to the core. There is a fierce determination burning through her - because no matter how much it hurts, she can't give herself up to him. That would be wrong in all sorts of levels.

"Oh, really? I thought you _wanted_ it," Sasuke mocks her, tightening his grip on Naruto even more. The boy's face is turning slightly blue. "That you _loved me_ ," he taunts, looking more like devilish than human. A brutal force of nature brought just to teach Sakura her place in the world - low, down below with all the powerless failures.

It is true - Sakura wants to give up more than anything in the world. Anything, to save Naruto. To prevent more of this mindless carnage. No, it's not mindless… it's a torture, a personal hell just for her. For the girl who doesn't want to see anyone hurt. And now, no one is left to _protect_. She can only watch.

The blond boy looks at her, imploring something with just his red eyes. He would never want her to surrender, even if it costs him his life. He believes in her… and so do many other people. But it hurts so much that it feels like Sakura's body is on fire. And she can't move. She can't do _anything._

She attempts breaking the chakra tendrils, but they burn into her flesh warningly, holding her back. Sasuke's cruel laugh is all she hears, as a wave of water rushes over the battlefield and washes away everything. Blinking in confusion, Sakura looks around her.

The water of Kiri's jutsu is attempting to hold her against a wall, her body jerking and thrashing violently, as she tries to fight the chakra tendrils.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, SAKURA!" the man screams, obviously struggling to hold her in place. The water sizzles, steaming and clouding her vision of the room. It takes a few seconds for it to register - it isn't Sasuke's mockery of her name. He isn't here.

Immediately, Sakura stops moving, and Kiri's water manages to finally envelop her, a tight ball of liquid that impedes her movement almost completely. Her whole body seems to be melting away, her heartbeat and breathing, erratic and speedy.

There's voices she can't understand, and she is released, falling onto the ground in the middle of a pool of nearly-boiling water. Sakura pushes herself up to her knees, although someone is quick to attempt smothering her down. She almost pumps a deadly amount of chakra to crush that person's throat, before realising it's Misho.

She can't understand a single word of what he is saying, though someone pulls him away and she falls down once more. The kunoichi tries to look around and make sense of what is happening. First, there is a crowd and huge splatters of blood running along one of the wall in front of her. Second, Kiri is holding a screaming Misho, as Riko carefully kneels down next to her

Rolling to her side, Sakura moans, her whole body aching and burning. The marks of chakra tendrils are _smoking_ and constricting her more than ever… it almost feels like Sasuke himself is holding her down. Again. Gritting her teeth, she looks at the medic that tries to avoid towering above her.

"You're safe," Riko whispers, tentatively leaning towards her. Sakura winces, attempting to crawl away, but her body won't respond to her. The medic notices her distress, so she stills her hand before it touches the girl's skin. "I won't hurt you, Sakura, I promise," she mutters, her soft expression quite reassuring of her words. "Can I touch you?"

Sakura shakes her head vehemently, feeling dizzy. The world is blurry, dancing in front of and around her, making her sick. She closes her eyes, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Can't you sedate her?" she hears Kiri bark, his voice sounding tired, like he just put a lot of effort into something. Probably, that huge jutsu he used to restrain her. Water Prison, wasn't that it? Of course he is exhausted… that's a lot of water… and now it's steaming, spiraling to the ceiling and making everything very hot and unclear.

"I am… not sure what kind of effect would drugs or chakra have on her," replies Riko, quietly.

Sakura manages to curl up into a fetal position, because it feels slightly safer. It takes every ounce of strength left in her body, though, and the world around her becomes distorted beyond recognition. Something lands on her cheek… soft and velvety, and familiar. A feather?

Suddenly, Sakura finds herself sitting next to her own body, as a swirling cloud of crow feathers dances around her, despite the lack of wind. Riko has started shaking her body and Misho is screaming even harder, trying to free himself from Kiri's grasp.

There's a big pool of blood and hot water, and the crowd is standing around her and a small man, who seems to be badly injured and lying on the floor. She recognises him as the one who was putting her through genjutsu tests. What happened to him?

' _Am I dead?_ ' she wonders, looking around to see if there's anything spirit-like. However, except for all the feathers that no one seems to notice, everything seems fine. This doesn't feel like a genjutsu, which is also strange.

"Nah." Sakura's head snaps towards Naruto's image, as the boy appears out of thin air and sits next to her. "Almost, though."

While reluctant to speak with her own demented hallucinations, Sakura figures it won't hurt to do it this time. At least, to get an idea of _what the hell is going on_. Like Inner-Sakura, Naruto is probably more conscious of things than she is. As if he knew exactly the questions she wants to ask, he starts explaining.

"Well, you know your chakra is pretty limited, hm?" Sakura nods. "To get a picture of it in your head, it's like a net of darkness wrapped around you, to keep it from growing over what you strictly need, to survive. You… pretty much just tried to blow up that net. And the thing about it is… hum. It kinda closed around you and choked your spirit out. So you're still alive, but only because the smallest part of you is still in your body."

Sakura glances at the vessel for her soul, muttering something in understanding. This is also the first time she has seen her body fully (at least, quite a while), so she takes a few moments to observe herself. It isn't pretty… most of her mass has been starved away, and there's all sorts of colorful scars, from slashes to stabs, covering the entirety of her skin. On top of that, there's dark black lines of the tainting chakra, fuming with energy that is being eaten right from her.

She looks… broken. Like she's barely holding it together. So tired and weak, almost like a child. It's both sad and pathetic, so different from the strong person she trained herself to be. Not a shinobi, but just a seventeen year old girl that barely survived a war and a massacre.

"In case you're wondering, you'll be fine as soon as you recover your chakra. Shouldn't take too long," Naruto adds, glancing at her. "I'm here to keep you safe while you're defenseless," he adds, beaming with pride and puffing up his chest.

"So you're like… my Inner-Sakura?" she asks, finally looking at him like he's something to take seriously. Until now, all he had been was a filthy product of the worst parts of her mind, something to shun and push away like a plague.

"Oh, no… she's got such a temper, though," he grumbles, like he remembers a painful memory. He looks like he's about to say something that he might regret, but manages to hold it back. "You know, when people leave… they leave a little mark on the world and on others. Like ripples in a pond or something. You could say I'm... the ripple in your pond?" he tries to explain, tentatively. "Man, why does that sounds _so_ wrong…" he snorts.

"I get your point," Sakura comments, almost smiling. If this is an imprint of Naruto… it's incredibly similar to the original.

He chuckles, scratching the back of his head. Like in many of her strange dreams and nightmares, Sakura decides the best course of action is to just close her eyes and wait for it to go away. Regardless of how much of this is real or not, it's not like she can do anything. She tried to fight the illusions before, and nothing worked.

Obviously, she feels helpless, but nothing can be done about that. As much as she's tried to become better, there are limitations. She can't erase the scars in her mind, only learn to circumvent them. Besides, it would be better if she didn't talk any more with this illusion, or any other, for that matter.

"What are all those feathers?" she wonders aloud, feeling one of them grazing her forearm.

"Ah, those… you know Itachi? Like, _the_ Itachi?" Naruto replies. Sakura nods, not bothering to look up. "Let's just say those are the ripple he left in you. It's like… a genjutsu in your mind. It protects you, like I do. Itachi… he's good with illusions, so he does that."

Sakura furrows her brows, her mind working quickly to put the pieces of the puzzle together. She lifts her head, troubled. "Wait…" she mutters, though when she searches for the image of her teammate, he's gone.

The pink-haired kunoichi looks around her, but Naruto is nowhere to be found. Probably because he's a thing made up by her mind, and this is a very easy way to avoid answering her own question. Sakura has _never_ even personally met Itachi Uchiha, so she doubts there is a way he could influence her mind like this. Naruto, Ino, and the people she sees most often… that's a whole different story.

She notices a change in the direction of the feathers… instead of swirling around her, they've started to get closer and closer to her body. And it… blinks. In a fraction of a second, Sakura gets a glimpse of what she would normally see, feel and hear: Riko's calm face over hers, Misho's frantic screams, the sensation of having a web of fire constricting her skin. Her eyes close, and she is back to her strange position outside herself. Nothing to hear or feel, though she can see the same scene happening around her.

"You gotta wake up, Sakura-chan." Naruto's voice is back, though this time it doesn't seem to come from anywhere in particular.

The feathers seem to drag her towards her body, pulling and engulfing the world in black.

* * *

Sakura wakes up in a strange realm. The crow feathers are floating everywhere, carried by a gentle breeze. The ground is made of… metal? To make sure, she squats down and knocks on it softly. Her hit causes ripples on it, as if it was made of liquid, and they start expanding around her, growing and growing, shining with silver light.

As the waves travel the land, they draw the silhouette of hills and mountains, and from them, trees grow. Strange figures without a single leaf, shaped irregularly, like hands reaching out from the ground, towards an endless black sky. Finally, when all she can see has been covered by the ripples and they're out of sight, she sees them starting to crawl up on said empty sky, upside down.

This time, they leave stars in their trail, as they start climbing towards the zenith. Squinting, Sakura can see that there's trees growing on the firmament, downwards. Timber keeps advancing towards its matching set above, hanging from the stars, getting bigger and bigger, until they reach with their twins, their branches interlacing.

The girl watches, amazed, for what feels like an eternity. The twinkling stars shine with a thousand colors, and one by one, they start raining. Sakura's gaze follows the first drop, of a deep purple color, racing down and showering the world in its light. And when it touches the ground, it creates a massive wave, its water rushing between the trees, towards her.

The pink-haired girl is too mesmerized to react in time, but she can hear the roar of the water, closing in on her and finally colliding with her small body, flushing it away…

* * *

Gasping, Sakura rises from her bed and proceeds to cough a truly healthy amount of blood. Someone places a hand between her shoulderblades and another under her chest, holding her more or less steady. There are no words spoken around her, but another person places a basin in front of her, to catch the majority of the dark crimson liquid.

When she recovers, her chest is heaving and her throat feels like she just swallowed pure fire. One of the reasons she never liked spicy foods is that feel they leave after eating them… and this is a thousand times worse. She is offered a glass of clean water, and though it hurts, she gulps it down as slowly as possible.

A quick look around reveals this is her patient room, in Yugakure's Third hospital… what the hell was that dream? Did they drug her or something? Actually, scrap that! What happened to have her in this situation?

She doesn't recognise the people around her, though they're wearing medic attire, so she assumes they're not going to attempt harming her. Talking doesn't seem like a smart option at the moment, so Sakura decides to wait and think.

There was… sparring, right? Yes… speed, taijutsu and genjutsu dispelling. Kiri, Riko and Misho were there. And _He_ was there too… no, that's not right. That was an illusion. Naruto wasn't there either (' _Because he's dead,_ ' grumbles Inner-Sakura, as lovely as ever). Her head hurts just from trying to discern what happened and what was just a part of her mind. It shouldn't be this difficult, and she knows it.

"Breathe through your nose, Haruno-san," requests an unknown, male voice, evenly. Just now, she realises her own gasping for air. "Slow..."

The girl follows the instructions, since her mind seems to be unable to work properly, once more. The medics around her whisper reminders of how to inhale and exhale, to relax her muscles, to let them move her. This is probably some sort of shock that is impeding her from processing thoughts correctly, so she limits her actions to following their advice.

By now, she is sure she was the one who hurt the man who was testing her in genjutsu. Normally, she is one of the best at spotting the patterns and details of illusions, that mark them as fake. Why can't she do that now? She attacked people twice in the same week, because of mistaking them for either enemies or fakes. And she talked to dead people in her dreams.

' _What the hell,_ ' she curses, darkly. Yeah, when she puts it in the bigger picture, her state might be slightly worse than she thought… Whoops?

At this point of her ruminations, Sakura realises that the medics let her go. She isn't lying down, but propped up against the upper part of her bed, which has been raised. Her chest feels incredibly heavy and her limbs are numb. If left to move on her own, she would probably be unable to make a single muscle twitch.

Her room is dark and quiet, but the medics are still there, their backs turned to her as they lean over something she can't see. Looking down at her body, Sakura realises there's a needle in her arm, pumping chemicals into her blood system. She isn't sure with so little light, but her skin looks dark and irritated, so tense it would probably hurt if not for her current lack of feeling.

Everything just seems to keep going wrong… She refuses to have another breakdown, though, so Sakura focuses on trying to move her fingers. The medics aren't paying her any attention, as the kunoichi channels whatever little strength she has into lifting her pinky.

Nothing, it's completely unresponsive. All the girl can do is furrow her brow in frustrated focus, deciding it's time for using one of the techniques Tsunade-shishou gave her when attention is slipping: the sage art of cursing like there's no tomorrow. She can't recite her great vocabulary aloud, but it's indeed quite relieving. Inner-Sakura cheers her in the background, but in the end, it's still to no avail - her muscles refuse to work.

She gives up about the time she reaches the words with the letter "f" in them. There's beads of sweat running down her face, but her obstinate finger hasn't moved a single inch. Well, screw it all.

"Ffffuu…" Sakura rasps, trying to catch the medics' attention. One of them turns towards her, a feeble man that could probably break like a twig, if something more than a breeze hit him.

"Please, don't speak, Haruno-san," he requests, walking towards the bed. His companions only give them a glance. "We will explain the situation to you in a moment. Don't exert yourself or you will regret it," he adds, using a small towel to clean her face of sweat.

Sakura wants to nod, but since she can't do it, she limits herself to waiting quietly, resuming her mental swearing. The medics keep working on whatever is keeping them so busy, though finally, one of them moves towards the ample windows of her room. The noisy blinds being lifted are probably one of the nicest sounds she could hear right now. The quiet ambience of the room prior to that was almost maddening.

Of course, her praises turn into more free cursing when the sunlight hits her squarely in the face. It might not be a physical punch, but it hurts her eyes. When she manages to adjust to the change in the lighting, she sees that two of the medics have gotten closer to her bed. Still can't place a name on their faces, though she has seen them around the hospital. They don't have anything good to tell her.

"I'm afraid I have bad news for you, Haruno-san."

"Mhmm?"

"Stop trying to talk. I will explain the cause and consequences of your current status regardless of how much you damage your throat."

' _Then hurry up, you lazy bastard!_ ' growls Inner-Sakura.

"...A seal of an unknown nature or origin has been planted on you. It's composed of smoke-like parasites… the ones that have been described to you as 'black-worms', since we lack a better term. They collect the excess chakra and use it to strengthen the second part of the seal, which manifests as the dark lines you've seen on your skin. The more chakra you use… the more they constrict around your pathways."

' _No! Please, don't say what I think you're going to say!_ '

"I'm afraid... intensive use of chakra will cause your tenketsu to be fully blocked and burn due to being overloaded. If you wish to live... I recommend you give up your current lifestyle."


	7. Nowhere to Hide | Arc I: Recovery

_You can run away forever, but you will never escape yourself._

They told her to stay down in her bed - some of her muscles are damaged and her body is almost fully drained of energy. But Sakura couldn't do that. In the past, whenever she felt overwhelmed by dark thoughts and emotions, she tried to do something that would require her utmost concentration. Which is why becoming a medic-nin helped a lot with her depression.

But now she can't heal anyone, her sad eyes glancing at her powerless fingers. Her hands used to be able to tear down large chunks of the landscape with a single punch… The kunoichi hit the ground earlier, in sheer frustration, but all she achieved was bleeding knuckles.

Now she looks up at the starry sky, knowing she is a bit too cold, but not caring enough. Why should it matter, anyway? It's all over, she should have known it since Naruto's untimely death. Since Sasuke laid his eyes upon her without a single trace of humanity in them.

It wasn't enough with torturing her… violating, breaking her body and mind to the point of near-death. No, he had to make sure she wouldn't be able to fight ever again. Why couldn't he just kill her?

The park is empty and quiet - it's difficult to believe that only a few hours ago, she was here with Misho, relaxing and feeling confident in her strength.

Sakura shuts her eyes tightly and pounds the ground again, trying to… what? Release her inner turmoil? Force the chakra in her to answer command? Her skin already looks red and constricted, almost like it's burning. Her limbs feel stiff, just like they would do if they were inflamed.

"You're lucky I can't smack you, Forehead-Girl, because you're acting really dumb right now."

The voice prompts her to stop, but the pink-haired kunoichi bites her lower lip, refusing to answer her body's need to pant. Of course, on top of her new disability, she has to be crazy. It's so tempting to give in and talk with those illusions of people… They're all that is left of them, even if it's just bunch of hallucinations in her mind.

"In case you haven't noticed, everything just sort of went to hell," she grumbles, not bothering to look at Ino. Looking at the bright side, she can at least let out her frustration in this way.

"In case _you_ haven't noticed, you're acting even worse than when I met you," shoots back the other girl, nonchalantly. Even as a figment of her mind, Ino still has her viperine silver tongue.

Sighing, Sakura sits back against a tree, finally giving the blonde the acknowledgement of a side glance. So be it, why not argue with herself now.

"I remember that cute, little girl… curled up and crying because she thought she was so ugly," continues the Yamanaka, holding her gaze evenly. She looks just like a twelve, maybe thirteen year old, yet her voice sounds very certain. "You'd think that by now you would realise… oh, what am I saying? That giant forehead of yours is like an empty coconut," she teases, rolling her eyes and smirking playfully.

Sakura scowls and hugs her legs tighter. If only she had the ability to use chakra to tear down a few trees… That would surely help to feel relieved. Another topic she has to avoid - thinking about how she can't do it feels horrible.

"Come on! The Sakura I know wouldn't just curl up and _mop_. You're better than this, and you know it," snaps Ino, scooting closer to her and plopping down on the ground, gracefully. Her image seems to go through the grass, but she looks almost real. She looks like she really wants to grab Sakura's shoulders and shake her like a pink-haired human rattle.

"Shut up already!" growls Sakura, ignoring the pain of her bleeding hands when she attempts to land a hit on Ino.

The girl blinks once, twice, but her eyes don't manage diffuse the image she sees - the blonde blocked her punch. And her hand feels _warm_. Ino gives her friend and rival a big grin full of white teeth, watching her surprise like it's the most entertaining thing in the world. There's still a trace of a smile in her lips, when Sakura uncurls her fingers and places her palm against the Yamanaka's.

Sakura is speechless. Something feels off about Ino, but whatever her mind is doing to cause this, she can feel her heat. It still doesn't feel like she's really there, because she can't feel her skin… but the warmth is definitely there. _Something_ in Ino feels real, so much that the kunoichi is briefly shocked. The other girl gets a hold of Sakura's hand and pulls her closer, opening her arms to hug her. Yet before their bodies come into contact, Ino disappears. There's no flash or poof of smoke - she's just gone.

The pink-haired girl stumbles forward, landing on her hands and knees, right where Ino was a moment ago. There are many questions in her mind, though one of them manages to sound louder in the cacophony of confusion.

" _What the…_ " she mutters, looking around. Genjutsu? It has to be a genjutsu. Sakura feels positively murderous, super-strength or not, to think that someone would trick her like this. She looks quite lethal, jumping up to her feet and scanning the nearby bushes.

"Cherry blossom… you still have to bloom."

Ino's voice doesn't seem to be coming from anywhere in particular, and though Sakura grumbles many 'kai', nothing in the atmosphere seems to change.

"Get the hell out of where you are hiding, bastard!" she shouts, eyes darting from place to place in search for someone to pound into the ground. The only response is a lonely chorus of crickets and an owl. Well, that and…

"Sakura! What the fuck are you doing?"

Kiri is definitely not one of the smartest men out there. The pink-haired girl could probably have killed him in her paranoid state, had she not been injured, weakened and stripped off of weapons. She still manages to nearly punch his nose in.

"Nutso…" he grumbles, rubbing his nose, once both of them manage to calm down. "For a medic-nin, you're a bit too aggressive," the Kiri-nin complains. Sakura can't help but smirk.

"I didn't know it was you," she explains, sheepishly.

A moment ago she was _holding freaking Ino's hand_ , whose body is probably buried by now. The sourness of that thought ruins her momentary amusement, and Kiri notices immediately. He places a hand on her shoulder, as per usual, though this time she doesn't flinch away. Barely.

"Just don't run off like that next time, alright?" he requests, and Sakura nods, guilty. Truth be told, she hadn't thought about anyone's reactions when she decided she couldn't stay in her room anymore. It was all too overwhelming for her already clouded mind.

They head back to the hospital, walking calmly through the empty streets of Yugakure. Internally, the kunoichi realises it really _is_ cold… she had just been too busy having a breakdown, to notice or care. Meanwhile, Kiri keeps explaining the situation to her, making her feel even more ashamed.

"After we found out what happened… we spent the entire afternoon looking for good umeboshi. Riko and I, and even the little brat, were ready to throw you a party, but turns out you decided to go out for a midnight stroll."

Sakura visibly cringes, muttering something that sounds like an apology, but Kiri just waves it away with an amused expression.

"The entire hospital is panicking because one of their most dangerous patients disappeared. You better hope Riko agrees with covering your ass on this one, or you're going to end up in the First for a long time."

Of course… Yu started being a place specialised in psychology. Overtime, they applied their skills and knowledge for other fields of medicine, like healing and investigation, but their first hospital is still used as a mental asylum (and in the past, she suspects it was used for torture and interrogation).

The second one is dedicated to investigation and is even shadier than the former. The third and last is the one for patients who aren't overly crazy - that's where her room is.

Considering how much trouble she's been giving to Yu's medics, it wouldn't be surprising if she ended up locked up in a cell of the First. Gulping, Sakura figures it wouldn't be very unlikely if they were seriously considering it. Third aggression, almost within a single week. Huzzah.

"Don't worry, I'll use my seductive skills… no one can resist those," bluffs Kiri, probably trying to get that bitter expression out of her face. It's successful, she ends up snickering. This might be a man who is harsh and serious when needed be, but he definitely has a way with sarcasm and helping those in need.

When they get to the hospital, Riko is waiting near one of the side entrances, where there aren't that many people. Her left eye is twitching slightly at the sight of Kiri's face and Sakura's hands.

She glares at both of them, like a teacher would do to unruly kids, but doesn't say anything, gesturing for the pair to get inside the building before someone sees them.

* * *

"You two are going to be the end of my career," Riko grumbles, rubbing her temples, probably having a brewing headache. It's nearly dawn and the small room Sakura occupies is still considerably full of people.

Misho is half-snoring in a corner, using not one, but two dogs as pillows. Kiri comes and goes, snatching umeboshi from Riko's plate every time, doing his night rounds to check on other patients. The woman, herself, just got back from arguing for a good two hours with her superior, about Sakura's mental state. And the kunoichi has spent the last thirty minutes poking her food distractedly.

"Sorry," Sakura mutters, for the umpteenth time. "I feel really bad that you guys have been helping me a lot in the last days… and I just keep messing it up," she confesses, sincerely.

Riko gives her a glance between her fingers, sighing. And then her usual half-smile is etched into her face, her expression reassuring once more.

"Don't worry about that," the woman comments, nodding. It's like she doesn't care about her headache anymore, slipping into her calm medic personality.

Sakura gives her a grateful smile, and they stay silent for what feels like ages. Riko is supposed to be guarding the kunoichi and Misho seems to have all the time in the world, so they're keeping her company. And yet… something in the air seems to feel wrong.

The pink-haired girl tried to pry information out of her take-carers, because from time to time it feels like they're hiding something. It's difficult to notice if she doesn't focus on her surroundings (which she doesn't do often, in case her mental state starts slipping), but there is an ambient of tension covering the hospital, like a bad omen. Tonight, it's stronger than ever.

The revelation starts with a few loud voices and quick steps, which snap her into awareness. Riko seems to be coiled, ready to spring into action if needed be. Something is happening, but no one will tell Sakura what. It doesn't matter, because by the time it's impossible to ignore the noise anymore, Kiri bursts back into the room, apparently in a hurry.

The shinobi's movements are as quiet as ever, but he is out of breath. His eyes are focused solely on Sakura for a split second, his gaze so intense that it freezes her in place. The visual contact only lasts an instant, and then the man turns to Riko, who heard him pant and is now looking at him quizzically.

"We need you in the lower floor. I'll explain on the way." He glances at the kunoichi for a second. "You stay here," he orders, his playful demeanor completely gone.

Sakura scowls, because they should know that she won't just let herself be led around like this, when it's obvious that something serious is happening. Riko nods and stands up, trailing after Kiri when he exits the room. The pink-haired girl jumps up to her feet and follows suit.

"What is going on?" she asks, refusing to be left behind. The medics stop on their tracks, exchange a glance and look back at her.

"Don't tell her!" Riko cuts in, grabbing his forearm warningly.

He ignores her. There is a steely glint in his eyes - one that promises his words are going to be painful.

"You have to stay in your room. Konoha's new Hokage is attacking the Land of Sound. If we don't get our shit together, we might be next in line. You should know better than anyone how much harm that damned Uchiha can do."

When they turn around to leave, Sakura doesn't stop them.

At some point, one of the dogs that are still in her room notices that the pink-haired girl is gone. Sakura can hear the clattering sound of its claws against the ground, and feel the animal's nuzzling of her hand. When she doesn't react, the canine grabs her wrist gently with its jaws and tugs at her to go back to the room. She lets herself be dragged into it once more, her eyes unfocused and her mind in a daze.

The girl can hear Misho's voice, but the words don't seem to reach her brain. She looks down at him, confused.

' _He looks very worried..._ '

The kid even tentatively hugs her waist, a gesture that she returns awkwardly. Why is her brain like this? What happened? She can't remember. All she is conscious of are the murmurs going on in the background, in crescendo, and she could've sworn she recognises the voices.

' _Cha! Because you're looking as lively as a rotting fish,_ ' notes Inner-Sakura, snapping her fingers. ' _Earth to Sakura, do something or the kid is gonna have a panic attack._ '

Suddenly, the voices closing in around her disappear and she can hear Misho's panicked whispers, as he tries to shake her. Sakura blinks a few times, looking at him like it's the first time she sees him. The boy freezes, noticing the change in her demeanor, but not letting go.

Most people seem scared of her… or at least, wary. Misho never does. He's so innocent, so believing. The kunoichi doesn't know how to feel about that. In his eyes, the worry she sees is for her, not himself.

Sakura looks at his irises intently - they aren't fully black, but almost. His face is round with the lines of childhood, framed by similarly dark hair. His face isn't exactly unique, but she makes a point to examine it thoroughly, as a focusing exercise.

"...Miss-nin?" he asks, tentatively. The silence has grown to be awkward, and Sakura snaps out of it with a slight wince. Right. Tell him something so he won't worry.

The pink-haired girl raises a finger, pointedly dramatic, and releases the boy, who looks at her in the most absolute confusion.

"Get some scrolls and ink," she bursts out, trying to draw a smile on her face. Sakura has the feeling that it isn't working too well. "I'm going to teach you some… cool ninja stuff," she adds, giving her two thumbs up, grinning even more.

Immediately, his face lights up with excitement, all troubles forgotten. Such a bliss… He darts out of the room, having the two dogs follow suit after him and leaving Sakura alone.

She sighs, trying to look around for the feather. It's still on her bedside table, and as soon as Sakura gets it, she starts twirling it between her fingers idly.

The skin of her knuckles is still a bit sensitive, but her fingers seem to be working just fine. No broken bones from her outburst earlier, thankfully. Her whole attention is placed on the small, black item she holds, but she can still hear them.

The voices. They are back and now she is certain they aren't from the heightened activity in the hospital. No… they seem to come from everywhere at once, as if they were circling around her.

She remembers something like this… when she was at the battlefield. She was delirious, hearing and feeling presences around her, hidden in the darkness and fog. It's happening again.

Sakura may not be able to understand the words, but the girl is certain that this is definitely a sign of mental issues. And on top of that, _He_ …

' _Call him by name! You are no coward!_ ' growls Inner-Sakura.

"Sasuke Uchiha," she mutters.

Is he the new Hokage? Kiri's words implied that much. That might explain what has kept him busy the last month… but it also means a whole hell of trouble. Mainly - there is no _home_. She can't go back to Konoha.

Shit… how many more people did he kill to get to be the leader? The thought of him close to so many civilians, so many children and defenseless people… it makes her sick. There is no one who can defend them, either.

And something even worse… what if he killed all of those who refused to fight for him? Or held their families hostage? For all she knows, Konoha could be an enemy to her, just because they have no choice but to obey him.

Sakura remembers his words - Sasuke wanted to become an enemy of the world, to keep them all united… against him. Is that why he chose to rule over Konoha, which is pretty much in the middle of every other nation? What will happen now, to all those people? She already feels nauseous with worry and, admittedly, fear.

' _You are not a coward,_ ' repeats Inner-Sakura, motioning in her mind as if she wanted to slap her. ' _Brave people aren't those who aren't scared! They're the ones who fight, no matter what! Tsunade-shishou would pound you into the ground if she saw you like this!_ '

The girl winces at the thought. There is way too much stuff going on right now, one thing after the other. At this rate, she will have a nervous breakdown. The intensity of all those things, happening so quickly, is high enough that sometimes she forgets important topics for hours on end.

"I got it!" exclaims Misho, causing her to nearly bump her head against the wall, in surprise. He came back to the room, all glee and enthusiasm. Sakura curses, mentally - another side-effect of this overload of emotions and thoughts, is that annoying loss of alertness.

This should be a good distraction. If the boy notices her troubled demeanor, he doesn't say anything, instead rushing over to the bedside table and clearing space for a large scroll. It's clearly a discarded one from a medic, because half of it is filled with a rigmarole of tiny notes.

"Right," she mutters, propping herself up and leaving the feather aside. Sakura tries to put her best smile up, and trying to arrange a proper explanation. "I'm going to teach you something very basic, but very important for ninja to use: fūinjutsu. It isn't very difficult and it can be used for a lot of things."

The kunoichi glances at Misho, not sure about how will he react. This isn't exactly… flashy, but it's indeed very handy. While shooting giant fireballs is probably a lot cooler than using a seal, there is definitely a lot more you can do with this technique.

Much to her relief, the kid nods, looking at the scroll thoughtfully. He seems to have tossed excitement aside, in exchange for concentration.

"Normally, people buy their own scrolls and seals, because it's a lot safer… but we can't do that, and it makes you depend on shops and money," she continues. "My Shishou taught me the basics… it shouldn't be difficult for you to learn how to use them. You have to use the right amount of chakra - too little, and they won't open. Too much, and you'll end up very tired. The more you do it, the better you will get at control," Sakura adds, knowing that this and stamina are probably his weakest points.

As he hears those words, Misho's hyperactive demeanor is back. He looks at her again, beaming. This time, Sakura is able to give him a genuine smile.

They spend the rest of the morning ignoring the ongoing chaos outside. The pink-haired girl has to admit, teaching someone so eager to learn is fun. Misho's calligraphy is barely good enough to make seals that won't explode, so they have to work on the lines for a very long time. It looks like for him, every little success is good, and soon the kunoichi herself is completely absorbed by the the practice.

She mixes history and information lessons with the manual tasks - Uzushiogakure, the village that was known for their sealing arts, feared to the point it was destroyed; about all the seals she has studied. Sakura realises she could've been a good teacher, in a different life.

By the time the sun is nearing its zenith, Misho has fallen asleep on top of his practice scroll and the kunoichi is at the door of slumber. When Kiri and Riko slip into the room, Sakura notices they seem to be utterly exhausted.

Judging by the expressions the two medics exchange when she glares at them, they know she is going to find answers, regardless of what they think about it. Kiri plops down on his seat and glances at the older woman, who sighs and finally starts talking.

"You must understand we were told to withhold this information from you, Sakura," she explains, looking at the pink-haired girl tiredly. Next to her, Kiri closes his eyes, letting himself slide down his chair to get a more comfy position. "Your state of mind was bad enough without knowing about Konoha's current affairs."

Sakura props herself up on her bed, sitting on its edge with an unreadable expression. The medic, however, seems to know exactly what is going on in her mind. As usual.

"You do not have to ask - yes, we prevented you from finding your fellow Konoha-nin and other people you might have recognised," Riko continues, unfazed, looking calm but serious. The pink-haired girl tells herself to hold on just a little bit more... "I will allow you to ask three questions-" There. Kiri fell asleep, his chakra and body too exhausted to keep him awake any longer.

In an instant, Sakura springs from her seat and places both hands on each side of the medic's chair. Their faces are inches apart, though Riko refuses to show any fear. Perhaps she can sense the kunoichi isn't in one of her bouts of insanity.

"You are going to tell me all I want to know," Sakura hisses, mouthing each word carefully, with a dangerous edge to them. "I have no time for your stupid games. You have done enough to stall me."

She is whispering the words, yet she spits them like acidic venom. Sakura can feel the burn of chakra trying to rush through her body, but she restricts it before it can hurt her.

Under her fingers, the plastic of the chair is becoming hot enough to lose its shape. And yet, Riko keeps staring at her with the coldest of expressions, even though she can probably feel the heat radiating from her patient's body.

"Very well," the medic agrees, finally. Riko's expression is strange for a second. She casts a brief glance at Kiri and then returns her attention to Sakura. "I hope you understand I will not tolerate a deliberate aggression from you. I am only doing this for your sake and I always have."

The girl nods - both of them know she isn't going to attack like this. But the consequences can be just as bad if Sakura is determined to get her answers. Riko seems to know that unless someone gives them to her, the kunoichi won't stop until she achieves her goal.

"Tell me everything."

Riko does. Everything, since the day the war ended.

"We were very confused. All contact with the main forces of the Shinobi Alliance was lost, and we feared the worst… but after the strange illusion that seemed to overcome all of us, we woke up and the world seemed to be as good as ever."

The Infinite Tsukuyomi… One word echoes in her head: revolution. Right when it looked like all of this madness was over, Sasuke revealed his plans. Did he manage to dispel it on his own?

"Then, we started receiving battered survivors with horrifying stories… the news they brought were despairing," continues Riko. "The forces of the Shinobi Alliance were massacred and the ones who made it out had tales of the event that would be enough to give anyone nightmares. Sasuke Uchiha slaughtered them en masse, claiming he would change the world. His voice boomed through the battlefield, and many could hear it from very far away."

Riko gestures towards Kiri, who is currently sliding down his chair a bit more. It makes sense, he was supposed to be away from the main source of danger, with the other medics... but he still heard it.

"Some survivors were within viewing range of the carnage. They tell, that he spared one person. You. Those who were close enough got a brief glimpse of your torture, but all they could do was escape before they were killed, themselves. We thought he killed you. Yet, a week ago, here you were. Traumatised, disorientated, bordering insanity and with severe marks of his acts on your body and mind. No one else managed to make it out of there, anyone he attacked is presumed to be dead. Only you… and no one knows how or why."

Sakura starts running through what she can remember of her forced holiday at the battlefield, in the aftermath of the battle, but it's all hazy. Except one thing: the silence. The feeling of empty, dead space, where life was an anomaly and not the rule. Not something she wants to think about. It made the voices of the fallen feel even more disturbing.

"You were supposed to be almost four days away from Yugakure. How could you be here, in your state? We have almost as many questions as you do, Sakura, but we did know we couldn't let you die. In your condition, we couldn't tell you the truth, either," she adds, looking only slightly apologetic.

The kunoichi understands why they didn't reveal any of this to her, but it doesn't make her any less angry. The girl feels like she can't trust Riko fully anymore, but as of now, she is her only source of answers.

"We received few news of the other nations: Kumo has been destroyed in its entirety, Iwa's remaining forces have blocked themselves in their country… everyone is confused and panicking. Yugakure has been coordinating efforts to help everybody, hence the lack of staff. We are probably the village that knows most about the world's state… and we can't do much. A few days ago we received news that Sasuke Uchiha became the Rokudaime Hokage."

Sakura nods, having her suspicions confirmed. The good thing about other people telling her what has been going on, is that it isn't marred by the eyes of a delusional girl. It might be a lie either way, but it's a better option.

"We have no new information on Konoha since this event, but earlier today the Land of Sound sent a messenger - they were being attacked by the Rokudaime's forces. As of now, it's likely that he is trying to isolate Yugakure and defeat Sound, the only nation close to the Land of Fire that wasn't too affected by the war. We are the village with the most information and best organisation. A lot of our medics and volunteering ninja from other nations are returning heavily injured, if at all. It's also a possibility that the Hokage will be heading straight for us once he makes sure no one can help us."

Riko drinks water to clear her throat, her eyes focused on Sakura intently, but the kunoichi is trying to make sense of all the things she was just told. One thing is certain: the war isn't over. Sasuke has only now started to put his own plans into motion.

The real challenge is about to begin, and the world won't be waiting on her to be ready. In this exact moment, Sakura realises just how screwed she is.


	8. After the Fall | Arc I: Recovery

_Burn a forest and the ashes will make you cry._

"It's not working," Misho grumbles, looking down at his scroll dejectedly.

Sakura glances back at him. The kid has been attempting to 'solve' a basic seal practice that she drew for him, but two hours have passed and there has been no success. She has left him to his own devices, trying to listen in to the medics rushing back and forth, outside her room.

So far, both of them have failed at their tasks. It's also clear that the boy's chakra control isn't even close to decent, but there isn't much she can do in that regard. If you aren't naturally good at something, practicing is the only way to go.

"You can't expect it to always work at the first try," she comments, smiling slightly. "Even if it looks like it isn't doing anything, each time you get a bit better." Sakura places a hand on his shoulder, reassuring.

Misho nods, a frown worming its way on his expression. He goes back to his practice, as the girl sinks back into her ruminations. It has been about two days since Riko told her the truth, and she is still confined to her bed.

Her two caretakers are nowhere to be seen - they only appear from time to time to check in on her, but as far as she knows, they're working frantically. In the meanwhile, she has spent all of her energy in teaching Misho how to use the most basic seals, attempting to focus on the task as much as possible.

Yet, it's difficult to keep her mind from wandering into darker places. It's inevitable. Sasuke  _is_  the Hokage and judging by the chaos that seems to be happening beyond the door of her room, the situation is going from bad to worse.

She doesn't have anywhere to go. Was she left for dead in the battlefield, or does he know about her status? One way or the other, Sakura is pretty sure she doesn't want to see him. She is guilty of feeling a knot in her stomach whenever she remembers their last interaction.

"Crap!" yelps Misho, startling her. His scroll has been set on  _fire_.

The kunoichi rushes out of her bed and swiftly puts out the flames. Misho has to calm down the formerly napping dog that accompanies them, when the animal starts barking frantically at the smell of smoke.

The kid looks at her full of guilt and a tiny bit of fear. Sakura arches an eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips and looking at him with an evaluating gaze. She breaks the tension with a snicker.

"Well, look at the bright side, now we know your affinity," she comments, glancing back at the burnt scroll. Misho looks at her in expectant confusion, feeling that he did  _some_  progress even if he destroyed one of the practice tests.

"...You aren't angry that I set it on fire?" he asks, unsure.

"Nah. That was the second purpose of the test, the surprise I didn't tell you about. Seeing what kind of affinity you had, I mean." Though, it would've been quite nice if she hadn't lost the scroll… it took quite a few hours and research on borrowed books, to draw it. "Even if you went a bit overboard with cracking the Fire seal," she comments, grinning, as he seems to sulk in a debating mix of shame and joy.

Like every time he manages to solve a particularly difficult problem, Sakura hands him one of the books she took from the local library - they're all about the topic he's studying.

She found out this kid is quite the scholar type, just like her - once Sakura told him they would be practicing fūinjutsu, he started to try and read all about it. Doesn't help with having bad chakra control, but it's a start, and it gives Misho motivation to work on his exercises.

A knock on the door takes both of them out of their thoughts. Riko peeks into the room, her gaze scanning both of them intently. When it settles on the burnt scroll, she raises a questioning eyebrow, but asks no questions about it.

"...By the way, we need you in the command room," she informs, evenly. "Both of you," the woman adds, looking at Misho. "Are you fit to go there, Sakura?" asks the medic, glancing back at her patient.

The girl nods. A moment later, what seems to be Kiri's hand makes a brief appearance, thorugh the gap left by the open door, to throw a bundle of clothes at her. She catches them right as they're going to hit her face.

"Asshole," growls Sakura, hearing him snicker on the other side of the door.

She looks down at the things she's supposed to wear, as Misho hurriedly excuses himself and exits the room, blushing.

It looks like the people of this country have a thing for blue - their medics all wear lapis-colored clothing, and it seems to be a generally popular choice. Even the clothes in her hands follow the common trend. A detail she hadn't noticed before, too busy with her mind's issues to be aware of it.

Now, she does, since this is actual stuff that reminds her of what the employees of the hospital wear, instead of the light-colored patient gown. It might look like a small detail, but it's important. The clothes even have the kanji for 'steam', emblazoned on the shoulders in bright red thread.

Does it mean she is being freed from her room? Why would they need her now? The only thing she can think of is giving information about Konoha and Sasuke… the first of which, she is quite reluctant about. It's still her village.

Changing quickly and leaving her room just as fast, Sakura finally gets to see the ruckus that has become of the hospital - there's people going from room to room hurriedly, and she even spots some shinobi from places like Suna and Kiri, but she can't recognise their identities.

Riko, Kiri and Misho are waiting for her, and the two adults lead her to the command room as she tries to peek around as discreetly as possible. She doesn't miss the few sheet-covered bodies, resting on trolleys in the hallways.

"As a brief summary," explains Riko, as they descend to the lower levels of the building. "The Uchiha's plans are still more or less unknown, but the situation is turning critical. We need as much help as we can get, so from now on you will be discharged early. Your collaboration could be crucial."

Sakura gives her an absent nod, walking on the balls of her feet to peek over Kiri's shoulder. The lower they go, the hallways start looking more like those of a shinobi hideout, instead of a hospital. There are no more patient rooms and the layout of the corridors is quite a bit more confusing.

By the time they come to a stop, in front of a plain wooden door, they're probably quite a few meters underground. Misho looks around nervously, holding his companion dog's fur like it's a lifeline. When they enter the room, Sakura has to blink a few times to make sure her eyes are not lying to her.

A Konoha headband. The man wearing it seems to be gritting his teeth so hard that they might break, his eyes landing on her as soon as she steps in. A name floats in her mind, but her mind refuses to match it to this person. Her thoughts are pulled away from him, though, because there's still other things she has to focus her attention on.

"Welcome," greets the stern woman that Sakura saw for the first and only time when she originally woke up in the hospital.

She is sitting at the head of an oval table, surrounded by people, a lot of which have the blue clothes of Yugakure's medics. The rest seem to be shinobi, wearing headbands of different villages.

They're all looking at her like she's some sort of ghost, Sakura notes. Misho seems to be trying to become a part of her shadow, grasping the back of her shirt tightly. Considering how dark the room is, he's probably gone unnoticed.

"Sakura, this is Keisho-sama, the Head medic of Yugakure," murmurs Riko, lowly, as they give a small bow of a greeting.

There's whispers running through the small crowd, composed of less than twenty people, while Riko guides her own group to the three empty seats. Misho lets go of Sakura's clothes, but she has no time to look at what he is doing.

"As you all know, or should be aware of," commences Keisho, scanning all of them with a severe gaze. "The Rokudaime Hokage is currently conducting an attack to the Land of Sound, and due to our alliance with their daimyō, it is likely that he will be attacking Yugakure soon. You've been called because we, the ones who sit here and now, are the only hope against him," she continues, ominously.

Sakura must admit, the old woman has a way with words. She's caught everyone's attention, as there are no mor whispers. Keisho points towards the map that hangs behind her, on the stone wall.

"Our intel has provided some information on his movements. According to our estimations, Sasuke Uchiha is very likely to end up contacting and, or, invading our country. His exact motives are not clear, but we suspect he is attempting to expand the reach of his power," proceeds Keisho.

The ninja from Konoha raises a hand, drawing the attention of the solemn room towards himself. Keisho gives him an approving nod, allowing him to speak.

"Before I left Konoha, I was able to gather some information regarding his intentions. It is known that Sasuke Uchiha claimed that he would organise a… revolution. Apparently, though, he is looking for Sakura Haruno," he explains, looking straight at her.

Finally looking at him directly, the kunoichi manages to pull a name out of her memories:  _Zaji_. He ended up in the hospital more often than not, a cocky and impulsive man that never knew when to shut up or back away from a fight. And here he is, now, looking battered and tired, still wearing most of the Shinobi Alliance attire.

"...What?" Sakura sputters, her eyes widening with a sudden, terrible realization.

If Sasuke attacks Yugakure, 'screwed' doesn't even cut in how much trouble she is. While they seem to be trying to protect her, if he demands her to be handed over, there is nothing the village can do. Behind those hardened masks… these people are probably terrified of what could happen to them, should the Hokage attack.

Zaji closes his eyes, lowering his head gravely. The whispers start up again, as Sakura grasps the edges of her chair, wishing she could use her feather now.

Between having finally found someone from Konoha (and barely being able to not jump at him with a thousand questions) and the news of Yugakure's situation… she can already feel the world becoming a bit blurry.

"What happened to the rest of your comrades?" inquires Keisho, making the room fall silent again. "If I recall, there were four other Konoha-nin accompanying you on the journey."

Only  _five_  people escaped the massacre? No, the fact that only those went back to the village doesn't mean… that they're the only survivors. There's still hope. There has to be.

If only she could ask Zaji… Who knows if at some point she didn't just fall under some genjutsu? If… any of her friends might still be okay. Sakura gulps, trying to focus on the matter at hand, because she doesn't want to miss a word.

"At least three of them are dead," replies Zaji, evenly. "Genma Shiranui stayed back so I could escape. I don't know if he still lives, but he gave me this," he adds, taking out a senbon from one of his vest's pockets and placing it on the table. "The stupid thing he always had in his mouth…" he grumbles, his voice quivering almost imperceptibly.

Keisho nods, grabbing one of the scrolls strewn across the table and scratching a few words from it. Zaji places his elbows on the board, burying his face in his hands. What could make a shinobi like him look so exhausted and weak?

"We will attempt negotiation with Konoha," continues Keisho. "If that does not work, I am afraid Yugakure will have to withdraw its help and dissolve the organisation managing it. We cannot afford to be attacked by one of the strongest shinobi villages."

This time, there's no hushed murmurs, but louder protests of disbelief. The foreign ninja seem to be angered at the woman's statement. Did they make some sort of agreement with Yugakure?

Riko said the village has been trying to coordinate humanitarian efforts across the shinobi world… but what exactly is their new involvement in the matters of the other nations?

"You can't do this to us!" growls a raven-haired woman, with an Iwa headband. "The Land of Stone is in the midst of an internal uprising. If you withdraw help from us now, thousands of civilians will die!"

"I am very aware of this, but the deal Yugakure made with you included only help for those affected by the war, not getting ourselves involved against Konohagakure," retorts Keisho, without batting an eye.

Her responses are almost mechanical, perfectly calculated. It's no wonder she's a leader. Cold, critical... and yet, her biggest priority is protecting her people. Sakura doesn't know if she admires or dislikes her.

"Or in any other village's internal affairs, for that matter," Keisho adds, folding her hands and resting her elbows on the table. She looks at each of the present foreign ninja, daring them to contradict her.

The Iwa-nin grumbles something in a low voice, crossing her arms on her chest and looking away, but no one protests. Keisho continues her exposition, gathering information from all of the foreign shinobi - apparently, they are all former patients of Yugakure.

Each from a different village and mostly, looking utterly battered; Sakura is sitting in a room with some of the few survivors of the massacre. She manages to piece together that Yugakure coordinated the major shinobi villages to give information to each other about the general state of the world.

It would've been a feat in the past, but it seems like the nations are indeed banding together, now that they are all weak and in need of each other's help.

However, Sasuke's attack on Sound is making them nervous. No one wants to be in the path of his wrath, and especially not Yu, the village that doesn't even have its own shinobi.

They're unsure about their alliance, because pissing off Sasuke Uchiha is probably the last thing anyone in their right mind would want to do. But they are so desperate... that they are still risking it. At least, for now.

Keisho seems to know it all better than anyone. It's her village, because she seems to double as its leader, in the absence of a Kage. At least, she is still giving the other nations a chance.

Zaji updates them on what he knows about Konoha - Sasuke annihilated any and all opposition to his idea of becoming a Hokage. It took him nearly a month, which explains the lack of news. The village's moral was lower than ever, but they still resisted.

The ones who gave Sasuke the most trouble were the great ninja clans - especially, the Hyūga. Yet, since most of the strongest members had been sent to the war and killed, they couldn't do much against him.

"It is known that he holds Hanabi Hyūga, the clan heiress, as a hostage, to ensure they won't try anything funny against him. There are… rumors about his purposes regarding her," explains Zaji, making Sakura feel a shiver down her spine.

Hinata's little sister… in the hands of Sasuke. Alone. Judging by the young man's voice, he doesn't think anything good of her fate.

There are a few names Sakura recognises, giving her both heartache and hope: shinobi, medics and civilians that died while opposing the new Hokage's regime.

Others went missing and are suspected to still be attempting to overthrow him. The communications are scarce, but there  _are_  rebels, even if they aren't many.

"I managed to gather a very important piece of information," continues Zaji, motioning towards the map with his head. "As some of you know, Sasuke Uchiha used to be Orochimaru's apprentice. The Sannin has a few hidden, scattered bases on the Land of Sound, called Otogakure. The Hokage plans to evacuate all Konoha civilians to those. Hence, his invasion."

The entire room has their attention focused solely on him, understanding the importance of each of his words. Sasuke doesn't want to cause mindless carnage - instead, he will keep the civilians out of the way and where they can be used as leverage for the ninja that will stay in Konoha. The ones forced to fight for him.

"Furthermore, the speech he gave to Konoha citizens implied that his goal is to turn our village into a base of operations. He told us he wants to antagonize the rest of the world, in order to keep them united… or some sort of crazy bullshit," Zaji adds, furrowing his brows in disapproval. "And, as I said, he seems to be on the lookout for Sakura. . I have heard he suspects she is here, in Yugakure."

For the second time, everyone's attention is focused on her. Even the girl herself had forgotten about that last statement, her mind absorbed by the barrage of new information about Konoha.

"What did he say about me?" she interjects before someone else speaks up, trying to seem serene and focusing a steely gaze on him.

Zaji shakes his head, looking at Keisho intently. He doesn't know any more. But Sasuke seems to suspect that she is alive and in Yugakure. How, is unknown to her… but Sakura knows that the feeling of imminence and dread brewing in her stomach will feel very bad, later, when she is left alone with her own thoughts.

The meeting is dismissed shortly after. Sakura assumes she was here because they will need her help in the future. But why all the rush and tension? Why  _now_? They didn't even assign her any task, unlike the other people seem to have.

' _They didn't want us to know_ ,' comments Inner-Sakura, connecting the dots she has started to see.

The sudden invitation, Zaji's attitude towards her, Keisho's attempts at avoiding mentioning Sasuke's  _interest_  in Sakura, how he knows about her location… It's all little things she hadn't paid attention to, like the way the old woman glared at the Konoha-nin when he spoke to the kunoichi.

Keisho didn't want her to be aware of those tidbits of information - Zaji must have tricked her into letting Sakura into the meeting. Perhaps it's because Yugakure could offer her to Konoha, in exchange for a pardon. They don't want her help - Yu only needs her as an asset.

The realization dawns on her, hitting like a sledgehammer. Suddenly, Sakura is aware that the other Konoha-nin is watching her intently, as the people in the room chatter with each other and leave.

He makes a subtle sign with one of his hands - one of the symbols for silent ninja communication that Konoha uses: 'clear?'

Sakura nods, understanding. She is grateful, because this man might possibly have just saved her life.

Clearly, he found out about this information on his own - Yugakure didn't know he was aware of it. She has to get out of here at the slightest hint of being held hostage.

"Miss-nin! Over here!" interrupts a familiar voice.

The pink-haired kunoichi turns towards its source, finding Misho and Soma. The second boy seems to be utterly tired, but happy to see his brother and friend again. Near them are two of the people in medic-nin attire that sat around the table: their parents.

She approaches them awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Misho's chatter fills her ears, as he is apparently telling them about his new sensei's abilities. Sakura doesn't say much, trying to avoid looking directly at the two adult's eyes.

The girl is grateful for how the ever present therapy dog notices her distress and lets her pet its fur. It's soft and fluffy, and the heat of the animal's body seems oddly reasusring.

"So I heard you're teaching our Misho-kun fūinjutsu, huh?" asks the kids' mother. She seems kind, but just as exhausted as her husband and youngest son. "We are very grateful for your help, because as I hope you understand, we aren't able to teach him our knowledge."

Sakura nods, not having said a single word since the 'conversation' started. She must seem weird to the two older medics. It has all been Misho updating his family on the last week's events. Apparently, they hadn't seen each other since the two brothers got back to Yugakure - that is how busy they have been.

The girl had expected his parents to be a little bit… colder. But they seem to love both of their children, and quite a bit. Simply put, they don't have enough time to be a proper family. Bittersweet… but at least, they are all safe and sound. She doesn't even know if  _her_  parents are alive.

"Go big, son. You are a smart boy and I am sure Sakura-san will be able to teach you very nice things," encourages the kids' father, before the rest of Misho's family is called to leave for their individual duties.

At last, it's just Sakura and Misho, walking leisurely towards the upper levels of the hospital. Riko and Kiri are nowhere to be seen, nor is Zaji. She didn't even get to ask more than that one question… but it's better than nothing.

She pushes the thoughts back, just a bit more, to pay attention to Misho. Distraction, distraction... He seems to be radiating pure happiness, more eager than ever to learn.

"Don't push yourself to reach your brother… or your family's wishes," she comments, when he mentions skipping sleep in order to learn faster. "It won't get you anywhere nice," the girl adds, bitterly. He nods, but doesn't seem to be listening too intently.

They go out for umeboshi and a relaxing walk towards the park. Sakura wants to try and find any of the foreign messenger ninja, but they are nowhere to be seen. It's no doubt that she won't get any more free information.

She spends the majority of the time with her thoughts on everything that has been kept from her. Distracted, she doesn't make for much of an interesting companion, mostly basking in her own silence.

By the time the sun sinks into the horizon, the pink-haired girl feels like everything is happening much quicker than her mind would want them to. Too many things to process and too little time to deal with the feelings they cause.

At last, she is back in her room. No one told her where else should she sleep and it hasn't changed since she left, so she figures it's fine if she stays here once more.

Misho has fallen asleep on top of one of his books - Sakura reminds herself to tell him about sleeping in a healthy position. The hospital is only slightly quieter than usual and, somehow, she feels herself start to doze off.

She hasn't slept properly in a while, mostly because of the nightmares, but Sakura is finally unable to remain awake any longer. Tired in all sorts of ways, she loses the battle to sleep.

"Sakura," mutters a familiar voice, though the girl doesn't want to bother answering.

An impatient hand shakes her shoulder, not too gently, until she opens her eyes. Sakura finds herself looking at Kiri. Is he pissed off because she slept in this room? No, that's not right, he looks a bit worried. It also seems to be well past midday now, she notes.

"What?" she asks, drowsy, batting his hand away. While Yugakure might be considering using her as an asset, she feels like there's still friends in Kiri and Riko.

Sakura is vaguely aware that her thought process is quite fragmented and inconsistent, probably due to tiredness. Maybe she can steal some coffee later.

His next words are the last thing she would've expected him to say, wiping away all other thoughts from her mind.

"Any clue where Misho is? He's disappeared."

The girl blinks a few times, trying to make sense of the question. She feels so tired that, if left to her own devices, she could probably sleep a few more hours. But this seems important, so she forces herself into awakeness with a grunt.

' _Off to a great day's start!'_ chirps Inner-Sakura, sarcastically.


	9. Blood of Twilight | Arc I: Recovery

_In your nightmares, you can run - in real life, you can only die or fight._

Sakura sits on the edge of her bed, holding a mug of coffee and trying to put her thoughts in order. Misho left nothing behind him - not even the book he was reading. Kiri paces back and forth throughout the room, cursing in a low voice.

"Are you going to drink that already? Riko would kill me if she found out I gave it to you," grumbles the man, glaring at her innocently-looking beverage during one of his rounds.

The female gives him a scowl, taking an offended sip. Coffee is not a thing that can be drank thoughtlessly, she muses. The man is nervous, though, so she can understand his snappy mood. Apparently, Misho has been missing since the girl last saw him, before falling asleep last night.

Kiri explained to her that neither him nor Riko saw the boy in the room, when they checked her state during the morning. The hospital staff has been too busy, trying to take care of the endless wave of patients that are brought in every day, to notice something as insignificant as a kid sneaking out.

"He was supposed to meet with his family today," mutters the man, ruffling his own hair and glancing at Sakura. "That's why we brought him to the meeting, so he could see them… His parents volunteered to go to the border. They wanted to have a last reunion, go out and have lunch, just in case…" He shakes his head, resuming his edgy pacing. "I don't know what to tell them. I can't just go back there and say their son has gone missing."

Sakura stirs her coffee, idly, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. Misho should be here, and he isn't. What could possibly prompt him to disappear? He seemed excited yesterday, although he didn't say a peep about meeting his family today.

Maybe he got nervous and decided to go out for a walk? No, that doesn't make sense - Kiri came looking for her because Misho's parents have no clue where he is, either. They couldn't find the boy at their meeting place, and it's nearly lunchtime.

He also took the book of seals - even though that is not rare, but…

"I have an idea," comments the girl, setting aside the nearly full mug and getting up from her seat.

Kiri complains about why did she ask for coffee, when she didn't even drink it, as she waits for her head to clear up. Lately, standing up too fast causes her vision to swim and blur. It's only a few seconds, but it's annoying nonetheless. Just one more of the issues that come with having survived the war. Yay.

Ignoring the man's frustrated complaints, Sakura leaves the room and goes on her way to the exit of the hospital. The building is as frantic with activity as usual, so no one pays attention to her. The girl's mind is set on her new, self-appointed mission: get to the park that Misho and she usually visit.

At some point, she notices Kiri has caught up to her, sporting a frown on his features. If he asked anything, Sakura didn't notice - as usual lately, whenever her mind is set onto something, her awareness falls to shameful levels. Regardless, he limits his current actions to following her, their quick pace taking them to the park in just a few minutes.

"Look for a book," Sakura instructs, not looking at her medic. Instead, she scans the bushes and trees near the place where she and the boy tend to sit. "Or ashes of a book," she adds, remembering how bad his chakra control is. If her hunch is right, it wouldn't be very weird for Misho to have caused some sort of fire.

"What are you thinking?" Kiri asks, crossing his arms on his chest. Sakura looks at him impatiently.

"I gave him a book with basic elemental seals," she explains, as brief and quick as possible. "I think he might have tried to learn one of them, to impress his parents. He seemed very intent on proving his… worth." The kunoichi bites her lower lip, not bothering to continue the conversation and focusing in the task at hand.

Regardless of how much Kiri might want to smack her in the head for her attitude, he joins the search swiftly. It takes nearly ten minutes, but finally, the man manages to find something.

By this point, Sakura was already immersed in dark ruminations, once more, unable to focus when there are so many worrying things to cloud her mind. The girl can't help it, but she still makes it a point to mentally hit herself for the distraction.

"I found the book," he comments, squatting near a fragrant bush and pointing at the ground. Indeed, the manuscript Sakura gave Misho is lying innocently on the grass. There is also something else, though. "There's also blood. Not much, but… he might be injured."

' _Oh, fuck_.'

Suddenly, it feels like the world is just plotting against her, to make everything progressively worse.

* * *

"Say that again?" questions Riko, raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips into a thin line.

"He tried to summon something," Sakura repeats, briefly looking at her hands. They rest on her lap, fingers fiddling with each other nervously. The medic's office is quiet after her words, for a few long and awkward seconds.

Tired of it, Kiri proceeds to slam the inconspicuous book on the table, opening it. One of the pages is doubled at the corner, marking the place where the author wrote about Summoning techniques.

"He even bookmarked it," the man adds, nearly growling. "Stupid brat! And you," he continues, turning towards Sakura, grabbing the girl's shoulders and shaking her, his grip so tight that she can't get rid of him. "What the hell were you thinking? You know the kid is shit with chakra, and _still_ gave him a _goddamn_ book with complex fūinjutsu!"

Sakura scowls back at him, but there is little to nothing that she can say against those words. In all fairness, she never thought of this possibility. It was supposed to be something harmless, to give both Misho and herself a thing to work on. A distraction and a focus.

He doesn't know how it feels to spend hour after hour, trying to fight back madness. Living in fear and sorrow, not really knowing where to go or stand. If she lets her mind go, she can still hear the voices.

If she is too idle, she will notice the burning feeling that is always present on her skin, and the empty ache of her chest. Kiri doesn't understand, and that makes her furious. She was just trying to do something nice...

"I didn't think he would do this," she replies, finally prying his hands off of her and furrowing her brows. The kunoichi's words are laced with carefully contained anger. "You have no clue how relieving it is to have something to do, so don't try to make me guilty of everything," she adds, glaring daggers at him.

Her implication is clear, her emotions finally getting to her and overflowing. She has been trying to hold them back for way too long, and Misho's disappearance was the last straw. No matter what she does, it all goes wrong… and right now, Sakura doesn't care if she is blaming the wrong person for it.

"Are you kidding me? I'm a medic and I was there too!" Kiri snarls back, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "You're not the only one that went through the war," he adds, sounding more bitter than irate.

The man takes a few deep breaths, closing his hands into tight fists, looking away from her. The blinding rage that Sakura feels seems to go away, at the sight of a someone who seems to be just as tired as she is.

He hides it behind dirty and dark humor, but Kiri does know. Perhaps he is not as hurt, but... in his currently dejected gaze, she can see the same loss.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, looking down at her lap. "I'm just so worried that I don't know what to do anymore," Sakura adds, sighing and glancing at Riko, who has been a bit too quiet.

The woman has completely ignored their argument, instead leaning over the book to read its content. Kiri refuses to grumble an apology, still too frustrated and stubborn to admit his own slip, but he manages to calm down.

Riko seems to feel their intent gazes on her, because she looks up and acknowledges their silent questions.

"Sakura, correct me if I'm wrong, but we suspect Misho-kun attempted to summon one of these," asks the woman, pointing down at the drawing of a dog, in the middle of an ink seal drawn on the ground. The girl nods, tilting her head to the side.

"The thing is, I'm not sure he knows how it works," she grumbles. "You don't just summon whatever thing comes to your mind… you have to make a contract first," Sakura adds, pointing at the book with a finger. "I only know of one person that fared well after attempting to use the jutsu without a contract, and that is Jiraiya of the Sannin."

Riko's gaze is as hard as steel, the meaning of the kunoichi's words left unsaid.

"What happens if you don't have a contract?" inquires Kiri, his own look so intense that it's almost intimidating.

"It's hard to say. My Shishou told me that Jiraiya-sama was reverse-summoned to the animal he had an affinity with. I don't know of anyone else's stories. No one knows if he was an exception, or if people never make it back because they don't get a contract."

Kiri's fist comes crashing down on the table, creating a few cracks, as he grinds his teeth together in frustration. He seems to be stressed out and unable to keep it to himself anymore.

Neither of the females says anything, instead exchanging significant glares. It's a silent fight of wills, as the shinobi proceeds to start cursing loudly and punching the walls.

"Let me do it," Sakura whispers. It isn't a question… but an order. There is resolve in her eyes, fueled by the feeling that Misho is her responsibility and protege. Her student and friend, who helped take care of her. It's also her fault this whole thing started, in the first place.

Riko sighs, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. She was caught in the middle of lunch and hauled to her office, just to tell her all of this. Yet, the woman is the most mentally stable person in the room - the one that can make things easier or harder for Sakura.

"It's possible to figure out his affinity," the girl pleads. "If there is a way to collect Misho's blood and analyse it…" she trails off, holding the edge of the table with her hands and leaning forward. "It's our only chance. You can't spare any people and I do have a contract that can bring us back."

"You have one day," Riko announces, gravely, getting up and closing the book. "There will be inquires on your activities if you take any longer. If you don't manage to gather enough information by then, the issue will be passed to Yugakure's Head medic." Sakura nods quietly. "Kiri, tell the boy's parents that he got caught up with a very difficult seal problem and won't be able to assist to their meeting," she continues.

Kiri stops punching the battered wall, muttering something in agreement and stomps out of the room. The two females are left to face each other awkwardly.

"I will tell you something you wouldn't normally know, Sakura."

Riko sighs, suddenly looking a lot more vulnerable than usual. More human, somehow. The girl has the feeling that whatever she is going to say, it's quite important to her. The medic is sharing something special.

"Yugakure has a large collection of identifying samples from all of our citizens and anyone who visits us. Blood, hair, skin scraps… It's all stored and categorised in the Second Hospital. I will allow you access to it, if it helps in your research," the woman explains, motioning for the kunoichi to follow her out of the office. "Yes, we acquire them when our patients or visitors don't suspect it," she adds, seeing Sakura's narrowed eyes. "It's all for science, don't worry."

* * *

Sakura sits at the old desk, looking at the shiny screen in front of her with sleepy eyes. The clock marks nearly five hours since she got in this dark room, solely for the purpose of analysing blood samples.

Since Riko dropped her off in here, giving her the barest explanations for her to know how to work, there hasn't been a single sound that isn't the humming of machines or her own body.

It's slightly unnerving, because she could have sworn that there are shadows dancing just in the edges of her field of view, whispering too low for her to understand their words.

All of this stress is surely going to damage her mental state quite a bit, if it hasn't already, but she can only endure and attempt to figure out a way to fix this mess.

There is also guilt gnawing at her, because Misho could very well be dead. Summoning requires fine chakra control and moulding - at both of which, he is terrible. If he isn't suffering chakra exhaustion, wherever he might have ended up could perfectly well be a dangerous place.

In all fairness, she hadn't expected Riko to give in so easily, but there is no time to ponder about feelings or wondering what could have been - whatever energy she has left has to be focused on this task. Sakura tries to remember her Shishou's teachings regarding blood and DNA analysation.

Most of the time, a person's _summoning_ affinity is based on their chakra signature and personality. Those two are defined by their genetic code and their soul's very particular traits. Depending on how well they resonate with an element or creature, their bodies will be more inclined to learning techniques related to those.

Like elemental affinities, the when it comes to creature summoning it's both a mix of DNA and character - or, as Tsunade-shishou explained, 'base' and 'evolution'. The base is marked by genes - just like some people are prone to catching colds or being short-tempered, they can also be inclined towards, for example, the Water element.

As time passes, the situations and experiences of life make some of those traits change - that is the evolution. While still having the same base, a person might find ways to build up resistance against sickness, keep their mind more collected or develop better control over a new element.

The younger someone is, the more likely it is that their personality traits are very similar to the base ones - and thus, by finding out which are their genetic traits, it's possible to find out what are their affinities.

Seconding that is the fact that people with similar DNA tend to have akin abilities and traits - kekkei genkai are the proof that it goes beyond looking alike and higher chance of being prone to the same diseases. Chakra is also affected by genes. It's a wild shot, but maybe… it works the same way with contract summons.

One thing about DNA is that it's _massive_. It contains so much information that it hasn't been fully mapped out yet. Add chakra and individual anomalies to that, and things get funny.

There is no way that Sakura would be able to scan Misho's entire information and decode it in time, because she doesn't even know where _is_ the data regarding his summon affinity.

Coming to this conclusion, she decides to use the ninja way and _cheat._

Her only chance for figuring out Misho's whereabouts resides in comparing his DNA to other people from Yugakure or the villages around it.

There are very high possibilities that no matches will be found, or his actual affinities are completely different (though she knows he is a Fire type), or it will be impossible to do anything useful with that information.

' _Or that he is already dead and you have fucked up thoroughly,_ ' comments Inner-Sakura, brightly. Yeah, let's push that thought aside for now.

There aren't many records regarding summons, because Yugakure hasn't been a ninja village for a very long time. However, there are enough files including information about the topic, for her to make a list of the three major affinities among the people of the Land of Hot Water: rat, centipede and salamander, in that order of quantity.

It has taken her four hours to be able to categorise them properly, but it's not even close to being done.

The next step is looking for matches in the ninja (and the rare civilian) summon users' DNA, especially those younger than twenty. While Yugakure doesn't have actual shinobi, they do have people trained in some of their arts. These are medics whose style is designed to work in dagerous situations. Even wars, if needed be.

The computers she has are, thankfully, quite fast - the only thing failing her is her ability to use them. It's not that Sakura is bad at it… they are just incredibly complicated. Any other day, the girl would have liked to have some free time with the machines.

Mentally smacking herself for letting her thoughts derail, Sakura lets the processes run as she jumps to a different monitor. Misho's file is there - his bright smile and dark eyes, captured in a customary picture, are difficult to look at. There isn't much on it, just vaccines, allergies and records of past sickness.

It's obvious they didn't bother testing his chakra once they saw he isn't good with it. On the bright side, she does know some traits of his, which are quite useful for her investigation.

When the other screen gives her a list of ninety-three organised results for DNA matches, Sakura pushes every other thought aside to focus on the analysation of it.

She has to compare the individual traits of those people with each other and Misho, to narrow the possibilities for which qualities define the summon ability of the kid.

Many other people would be at a loss with what to do with all this information, but Sakura… She was called a genius of analysis by Tsunade-shishou.

Her ability for taking raw data and comparing it to her own knowledge is what makes her so good with poison, antidotes and medicines. Patterns and details are her thing. This is _her_ game.

Still, it takes her many more hours and manual writing to take down notes and cross out possibilities, but… finally, all of her options have been reduced to a single one word, with a percentage of likelihood written beside it.

It's a very, very wild shot - the number is sixteen, and the word is rat.

* * *

Sakura empties the drawers of her bedside table frantically, looking for money. Much to her distaste, there aren't many ryō left in there. There is barely anything left from the money that Kiri and Riko so kindly gifted her a few days ago.

She definitely didn't think there would be a need to use it like this. And, for sure, it isn't enough for all that she wants, but it will have to do.

She only has an hour and half to high tail out of Yugakure, and it's very likely that she is being watched. The sensation of having someone observing her all these days makes sense now - she is too valuable to be left unguarded.

Trying to recover her breath, the girl looks at the contents of the backpack that she managed to steal from a closet. It isn't exactly big, but it will have to do.

It has a blanket, a bottle filled to the brim with water, some carefully snatched food and a small flask full of blood. It's all she can fit in there. Yugakure collected all her weapons when they took her in as a patient, so if she wants any, she will have to get them herself.

Her blue clothes will have to do. Thankfully, they are made to be worn in cold climates, so they should keep her more or less warm.

After pocketing the money and attempting to cover her head with a folded tablecloth (it's the closest thing to a bandana that she can get), the girl hurries through the hallways of the hospital, possibly for the last time.

The kunoichi only hopes she won't have to steal anything on her way out of the village, because trying to rob a store by and for ninja is probably one of the most stupid things a person can attempt to do. Especially if said person has to hurry up outside of a potentially hostile village without any chakra to spare.

No one seems to notice her slipping by through one of the side entrances, taking the shadier streets on her way to a shinobi equipment shop. It's a good thing that, even with the menace of Sasuke, there are still a lot of citizens back on the village - they make it a lot easier to hide.

Sakura sneaks into one of the shops that seem to be cheaper, a rundown and small place whose owner scowls at her warily. The girl looks for something very specific that is a priority in her list - a Finder scroll. Tsunade-shishou used it as an inspiration for her Four-Corner Sealing Barrier, a much more complex version of it.

Finder scrolls work similarly, though on a much smaller scale. It still requires a delicate chakra control, but it's her best shot at finding the thing she is looking for - all she needs is a blood sample, which she has.

Said scrolls aren't used very often, since the seal has to be right on top of the target to detect them. Mostly, they are good for identifying corpses, if you know whose blood you are using. And for now, it's enough.

On her way to the counter, she also grabs a few low-quality kunai, a map of the Land of Hot Water and a few small explosive tags. Sakura figures that, if she can't demolish things with her hands, she might as well do it with those. As of now, it's as much as she can afford to buy.

Her heart seems to be hammering against her ribcage, a silent clock ticking down the seconds she has to reach her target. Misho's life depends on it.

' _You have a thing for kids, don't you?_ ' asks Inner-Sakura.

Why is she talking now? Normally, her secondary personality is only there to discharge emotions without showing it externally, not asks random questions when she is trying to do something very difficult.

Regardless, Sakura can't help thinking of a young version of Sasuke… and then, the person he became. All, because he was alone as a kid. He was hurt and sick, even if it wasn't a physical wound. It was his mind, torn apart and falling into despair. But no one helped him. If only she had known better, back then...

Children are so vulnerable to the pain of war and loss - she hasn't known Misho for long, but he seems to be the embodiment of that innocence that time strips people of. There is just no way she is going to leave him alone, even if it means betraying Yugakure early and finding him on her own.

And if he is dead already… his family deserves recovering his body. His little brother… no one deserves to lose someone they love, so soon. It's not fair. And if she can do something to stop that from happening, so be it.

With that resolve, she pays for her items and walks out of the store, towards the skirts of the village. Surprisingly, the people following Sakura only intercept her when she is a few steps away from disappearing in the forest.

Kiri and two other males surround her, keeping a cautious, but threatening distance. The unknown people wear a darker version of Yu's medic attire, though judging by their stance and movements, they have some sort of ninja training.

The kunoichi doesn't bother looking at them for more than an instant, focusing her gaze on Kiri. He sports a frown on his face, his own body language reflecting an unspoken warning: don't move. To think… that she could almost have considered him a friend.

"Let me go," she states, her tone flat and devoid of any emotion. Inside, she can feel a brewing storm of conflicting feelings and worry.

"I can't do that," Kiri replies, keeping his voice low and his eyes on her. "You don't have to do this alone," he adds, relaxing his muscles - enough to let her know that he won't fight right away.

Sakura shakes her head, sighing. Right now, is he an ally or an enemy? Does he know about Yugakure's plans to use her as protection against Sasuke? She looks at him with her head tilted to the side, just a fraction of an inch.

The girl glances at the two other people behind her. They might have received ninja training, but they don't look like actual shinobi. It's an opening she isn't going to miss.

"It's my duty," she comments, looking back at Kiri and raising her eyebrows. "Staying in Yugakure is not within my interest, for health reasons - I need to go."

She doesn't move or do any signs that might be revealing, but the kunoichi hopes that her wording's hidden message won't pass by unnoticed.

There is a flicker of understanding in the man's eyes, letting her know that he understood the message: ' _I can't stay here or else I will die_ '.

"Either way, you will not be released," states one of the unknown people, stepping forward menacingly. Sakura turns towards him, but stands her ground. She can't show any weaknesses.

"You will let me go, or I will make you regret it," she replies. The girl had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but… "You know what kind of power I have, don't you?" Slowly, Sakura starts pumping chakra through her arms, feeling her skin burning and being constricted by the tendril marks.

Immediately, the man takes a step back, looking at her with a mix of fear and disbelief. He can feel the heat radiating from her, the dark aura of negative energy surrounding Sakura's body.

"You're bluffing," he says, but she can tell he is desperate. He is scared.

Sakura snickers, smirking and lifting her palms. The world is starting to shift and blur around her, as her vital energy is being eaten away faster than it can recover.

"Do you want to see if I am?" she snarls at him. "I could kill you, your family and friends, and destroy your entire village. In the best case, you would have to get rid of me. Because if you don't, I won't stop until I break free or die. And trust me," she adds, taking a step forward. The man and his comrade match her movement by backing away, warily. "You don't want to see that."

' _They might be about to piss their pants_ ,' comments Inner-Sakura, sounding impressed.

They better be… while Sakura is sure that she would never harm an innocent person, the two people trying to restrain her don't know that. However, they must have heard of how much damage the kunoichi can cause when lashing out, and they probably have been ordered to bring her back alive. They can't risk a fatal injury on either side.

"Now, out of my way," she adds, turning towards Kiri once more. He is standing in her way out of Yugakure. It's up to him, because the other two seem to be too terrified to know how to react.

The man scowls, grits his teeth and then takes a step aside.

"Don't come back," he whispers. "We won't let you get out if you do."

"Got it." It's the only way she can thank him.

Without looking back, Sakura breaks into a quick sprint, away from the village and into the forest. Her whole body feels like it's on fire, but she has to stay strong. Hopefully, they won't know she is gone until it's too late.

* * *

Keisho purses her lips into a thin line, looking at the man in front of her. To her credit, she doesn't seem to be fazed by the presence of him, despite the aura of danger that seems to be radiating from his body.

"She is not here," the woman repeats, as calm as ever.

Sasuke's expression barely changes, but Keisho can tell he is annoyed. And that notion is enough to send an imperceptible shiver down her spine.

"How is that?" he asks, with a flat tone, crossing his arms.

The Head of Yugakure's hierarchy throws a glance at one of the medics occupying her office: a man with spiky, dark hair, who looks quite battered. He is waiting near a window, looking down at the ground and standing next to a blue-haired woman, whose breathing is a bit too shallow and quick to be normal.

"Kiri let the girl escape, against his orders," Keisho explains, hoping to push some of the Uchiha's wrath away from her and her village.

The man, Kiri, is nearly shivering, but he doesn't move a muscle. Not even as Sasuke takes a few quiet steps towards him. He is now standing in front of the medic, and he can tell it's a shinobi just by how he stands - like a coiled trap, he is ready to snap and fight if needed be.

Only a ninja would ever think of fighting back in this situation.

"Is that true?" Sasuke asks, his voice lower than ever, almost like a hiss.

Kiri nods, forcing himself to look up. His gaze is met with glimmering purple and red, and this time he can't help pressing himself against the glass behind his back, lightly. To be fair, not many people are able to withstand that sight without a reaction.

Not even shinobi.

"I don't care about these orders. My loyalty is to Kirigakure and my companions," he whispers, low but clear.

"How interesting," the Uchiha drawls, as both of his arms dart forward, his fingers closing around Kiri's neck, alongside the woman's. He lifts them upwards, smashing them against the glass of the window and letting them hang from his hands.

Inevitably, both of them flail, trying to stop themselves from choking. The ground is quite a few meters away from their feet and the pressure Sasuke applies to their throats is cutting their supply of air.

"I wonder… do you know where did she go?" Sasuke continues, his eyes focused on the woman, even though his anger is directed towards the man, who has complicated the situation uselessly.

He can see the instant in which the woman notices the head appearing from the ground behind him, enveloped in purple flames and with Rinnegan eyes. She freezes in place at the sight. The King of Hell… an ability that came in very handy, when he was trying to claim his title of Hokage.

Kiri has managed to put his feet against the wall of the building, propping himself up with chakra. He gives a glance to his female partner, whose eyes widen in horror at a sight that he cannot see. The man seems to want to ask what is going on, but even when his hand reaches the woman's arm, she doesn't react.

It doesn't take that long for the interrogation to end - and Sasuke is satisfied to see that the woman stubbornly refused to answer. Her body is immediately devoid of life, hanging uselessly from his hand. Kiri chokes out a strained gasp, looking at her in panic.

Medic-nin are definitely funny - even in life-threatening situations, they worry more about their comrades than almost any other thing. How stupid. Sasuke was immediately able to tell that this woman had some sort of significance to him, too, which makes things a bit easier.

"Seems like your girl friend refused to answer the question," he comments, releasing his grasp on the woman's body. Prey of gravity, it falls and crashes against the ground below, with a thud and a sickening chorus of cracks.

Sasuke steps back, throwing the man onto the tiled floor of the office. Kiri gasps for breath, holding his throat like he can't believe he is alive. The Uchiha squats down next to him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him up until they are face to face.

"I won't be as nice to you, as I was to her. If you refuse to tell me the location of the kunoichi, I will kill everyone you hold dear and make sure you live a long, painful life to regret it. Consider your friend's death a warning," he whispers, leaning forward until his lips nearly brush one of Kiri's ears. The Uchiha doesn't tend to speak more than it's strictly needed, but sometimes... extra words help to get the point across. "Are we clear?" Sasuke asks, pulling back and dropping Kiri.

The older ninja seems to be in a state of absolute terror and shock, hacking and spitting blood. Yet, when he looks up, his gaze is still defiant and irate.

"Fuck you," he coughs, wiping blood from his mouth. Medic-nin are definitely companionable. Sasuke sighs, impatiently.

"Looks like we will have to do this the hard way," he grumbles, forcing Kiri to look at his purple eye. Immediately, the man falls limp on the ground.

Sasuke stands up and waits, looking at Kiri with strong distaste. After a minute, the man starts shivering and gasping for breath, and then his limbs start jerking, as pained cries escape his throat. He isn't conscious, but the things he is seeing are probably the worst nightmare of his life.

That is probably the issue with being so powerful, Sasuke muses, bitterly. If he isn't careful, breaking people seems to be an issue. At least, there are still genjutsu that will keep their bodies intact. Mostly.

To his credit, Kiri is holding up more than the average person would do - most start begging for mercy in their sleep after a few seconds. While not on the level of the Tsukuyomi, this trick is definitely quite useful, too.

In the man's mind, he is seeing many illusions that are created especifically to hurt him.

"North-East!" cries the man, finally cracking under the intense torture. "She… went North-East. That… that is all I know."

The information could have been better, though the Uchiha is quite sure that the ninja is saying the truth. He doesn't know of a single person that didn't break under the brutal genjutsu. Kiri has passed out, exhausted, so he shifts his attention towards the Head of Yugakure.

"Don't get in my way or you will regret it," he mutters, turning around to leave.

Without another word, Sasuke is gone. When Kiri wakes up, it will all seem like a very bad dream to him. That is, until he sees the colorful splatter of blood and flesh on the ground below the window.

Pushing all useless thoughts aside, he focuses his mind solely on his next target - Sakura Haruno.


	10. In our Remains | Arc I: Recovery

_Fine difference between being defeated  and bowing down, isn't it?_

Sakura's gaze roams over the landscape around her. The sight is slightly surreal, but it isn't an illusion. There are deep craters where mountains used to be, the earth cracked and ripped apart in unnatural ways.

It's a barren wasteland. What used to be the Land of Frost is now a patch of broken stone and ice. The massive scale of the attacks used during the war tore through this country, almost in its entirety.

The sky is veiled by a thick sheet of dark clouds, promising bad weather very soon. Every step has to be careful and perfectly calculated, or else she risks a terrible fall, probably to death.

It's cold and _silent_ \- the same sensation of emptiness that she remembers from the aftermath of the battle is her only company. In the void left by the lack of life, Sakura can hear the voices of the fallen, now that nothing can cover them up.

Since she was rescued, there was always _something_ in her mind. Be it worry, a simple task, fear, anger… they enveloped the kunoichi's thoughts in a very welcome embrace. But now? Now, there is _nothing_ \- and the unoccupied space is being filled by ghosts.

"Should be a day and half away from Shimogakure," she mutters, stopping at the edge of a deep gorge, looking for a way to cross over.

' _You do realise that we will start finding ruins and bodies soon, right?_ ' comments her inner voice, whom she has taken an habit of talking to, in an attempt to cover the _others_.

"Yes," is all she says, unwilling to delve into the implications that this fact could carry.

The Land of Frost doesn't have many villages - many of them were small settlements placed around Shimo. The closer she gets to her destination, the more destruction there will be.

She keeps walking through the irregular terrain, very careful of the abrupt drops that seem to plague the ground. Meanwhile, Sakura ponders about her plan.

' _You know, it was kinda stupid to leave like that_ ,' comments Inner-Sakura. ' _What if he isn't in Shimogakure? You'll be alone, in a hostile place, without anyone to help you._ '

The kunoichi knows… a few days after she left the forests of the Land of Hot Water behind, she started realising how _thoughtless_ had been her little plan of rescue.

"Well, I wasn't safe in Yu and they probably don't have time for helping Misho," she retorts, but it's a poor excuse and the kunoichi is quite aware of it.

' _All the symptoms for paranoia are there,_ ' offers Inner-Sakura, voicing something she hadn't wanted to think about. As usual.

If she had started to question her every move while in hostile territory, things might have gone sour fast. It's reckless, but at least she did it for a reason.

It's a painful realisation - she was just desperate to have an objective, something to do. The loss of whatever normalcy she had achieved is still stinging. Betrayal has a bitter taste, she knows it very well. Hopefully, Kiri won't be paying for her actions.

Maybe, Sakura should have trusted him and Riko more. At least one of them was on her side, definitely going against orders to help her. _Friends…_ The girl remembers her thoughts back at the battlefield: there are no _friends_ left, only people to be wary of. Is it paranoia or has she really lost everyone she could truly trust? Did she abandon her allies?

It doesn't matter now, Sakura muses, pushing the thoughts aside.

"We will scavenge the ruins… they should be empty. I think everyone was evacuated. If we are lucky, there will be bodies only in Shimo." Sakura repeats her plan aloud to help herself focus, unwilling to let her thoughts derail any further.

Inner-Sakura snorts, shaking her imaginary head.

' _And then, what? That body could still be somewhere else, or not there at all. Hell, he might not even have the scroll on him._ '

The kunoichi sighs, exhausted. It isn't a very bright plan… there are many things that could definitely go wrong. But it was the only option and she doesn't regret taking it.

She expected Yugakure to send someone after her, but they didn't. Sakura hasn't seen a single soul in a very long time. Somehow, this is even more unnerving than being pursued.

Maybe they simply haven't found her trail - which she is grateful for, because her methods of defense are quite limited at the moment. But… she doesn't like this situation in the slightest. It makes her nervous, constantly tense and waiting for an ambush.

"You could help for once…" she grumbles, towards her inner voice. It's almost night time and she feels drained of most of her energy. The last thing Sakura wants is to have 'someone' calling her out on everything.

This place is _very_ cold, she notes. And it's getting worse every day, as winter approaches. The kunoichi is thankful for her thick clothes, but she isn't looking forward to another night of fighting off hypothermia.

It's like the aftermath of the battle all over again: hiding in whatever crevice she can find, curled up and shivering, hearing _things_ outside that shouldn't be there.

However, the alternative is to be left in the darkness of the night, in a land dotted with all sorts of places to fall into, so she hurries up to find shelter before nightfall.

The cycle repeats over and over. Sakura's paranoia increases, since it feels like someone is chasing her, a feeling that is slowly tainting her thoughts.

She bickers with her inner voice back and forth, trying to ignore the ongrowing signs of illusions that seep into her brain. Yugakure didn't give her any medication against it, not that she knows of… and now it's getting to alarming points.

It doesn't help that, without chakra, the journey takes much more time than she would want it to. Her body hurts, but she pushes on, attempting to keep the image of Misho in her head. There is no chance for giving up.

Three days after having left Yu, the girl finally finds what she is looking for: the scattered remains of a rural house and a battered pathway, leading onwards. In the distance, she can see some more artificial structures. Shimo is near.

"Oh, great," she mutters, looking up at the gray sky with a frown.

Sakura had been hoping that, despite all the signs of a brewing storm, it wouldn't happen before she found a safe shelter. To prove her wrong, a single drop of water has just grazed her cheek. The atmosphere is becoming way too humid and gelid… it's likely this will become a snowstorm shortly.

' _Cha! Think again, lucky girl_ ,' comments Inner-Sakura, as the kunoichi speeds up to reach the nearest building.

It isn't a very smart idea, since a single bad step could cause her a whole load of problems, but getting wet in this situation isn't exactly healthy, either.

Skidding over the remains of the cobblestone road, Sakura finally comes to a halt when she arrives to the ruins of the house. It's small and traditional, adorned with a bright red sign.

"Shira family…" the girl mutters, squinting to read the characters. Hopefully, the owners of the building survived...

The second floor has been blown off by unknown forces, but the rest of the house seems to be more or less intact, if only a bit rundown by abandonment.

Sakura ducks under the remains of the front door - the place doesn't look like anyone has been inside in a while.

There are only three rooms: kitchen, storage and the central piece of the house. There are pools of cold rainwater in the lowest parts of the floor and it isn't much warmer than the outside… but it's cover.

The girl spends the next hour humming songs and attempting to scavenge the place. While Sakura doesn't feel too comfortable with stealing some civilians' stuff, she needs it very much right now.

She tells herself a note will surely be left to tell them what happened, in case they come back.

The house was left almost intact, sign of a rushed leave. There are a few bedrolls, food and an electricity generator. Ingenious, she muses. The engine seems to be powered by water, which is provided by the terrain and weather in good measure.

However, the pinkette doesn't risk turning it on, instead opting for hiding in the small and dry storage room. Who knows if someone might actually be after her?

Inner-Sakura sing-songs something about paranoia, but the girl ignores it and hauls a few bedrolls into her newly appointed shelter.

Most of the food has been kept safe from decay, once more, by Frost's sagely use of their climate - and oh, how good it feels, to eat something that isn't stale rations stolen from the hospital!

Sakura blocks the door with an old sofa and a bunch of heavy crates, lighting up a candle while she searches for a flashlight. The room is completely dark and closed, so keeping up a fire isn't the smartest of ideas.

Much to her delight, there are scrolls and books in here, and even clothes and equipment that are more suited for the harsh climate of the area. Well, if it snows, she will be prepared.

After picking a spot that will provide temporary cover if someone managed to enter the room, Sakura finally curls up and buries herself under a few sheets and bedrolls.

For the first time in days, she feels _warm_ , and it's a glorious sensation, tingling through her body pleasantly. Perhaps the cause is tiredness, but it doesn't feel bad at all.

The wind keeps whistling outside her refuge, and Sakura could almost swear it carries familiar voices. There's also a soft patter of raindrops on the ceiling and against the walls. These sounds lull her to sleep, into dreams filled with memories and beloved people.

This time, they seem so real that they prevent her from staying in slumber. It has been a while without having such realistic dreams. Probably because she hasn't truly slept in somewhat good conditions since she left Yugakure.

The girl keeps waking up, startled, only to find herself in the storage room, still alone. Worrisome thoughts and nightmares keep gnawing at her, preventing any sort of actual rest.

The entire night is spent like this, in a neverending cycle of false hopes and no good result. An old clock chants the hours as they pass by, marking the arrival of dawn with seven lazy bell-rings.

Resigned to her situation, the kunoichi decides it's time to pack up and resume her journey. She gets a hold of a bigger backpack, a change of clothes and supplies, huffing at how heavy it all is. At least, the first part of the trip is almost over.

When she goes out, however, Sakura realises something that sends a literal chill down her spine: thick fog is enveloping the world around her, so dense that it could almost be cut with a kunai.

It's deathly silent - no more wind, no rain, no sounds at all besides her own breathing. Taking a few seconds to regain her composure, Sakura forces herself to look down at the ground - the road, while damaged, is still there. All she has to do is follow it in the direction of Shimo.

It becomes increasingly difficult, because even though it must be early morning, her surroundings are dark and seem to be filled with lurking monsters, shaped like people. It's impossible to block out the voices anymore, and Sakura feels herself start to shiver - they are louder than ever before.

The kunoichi resorts to drawing out her feather, twirling it a bit too fast and tripping on her steps more than once. Her eyes catch movement amongst the fog, human forms darting in and out of her field of view, too swift to focus her eyes on them.

"Not real, not real, not real…" Sakura mutters, attempting to ignore the ongrowing madness surrounding her. It's so loud she can barely hear her own voice, and it's absolutely terrifying. "Misho, I have to get to Misho, I have to…"

One of the shadows moves closer, clad in a very familiar orange jumpsuit. The girl leaps to the side to avoid contact, but they are _everywhere_. It's impossible to escape, and so they tell her, with wicked whispers.

" _Join us..._ "

"No!" Sakura screams, breaking into a sprint, because right now getting _away_ from these things is more important than being careful. What the hell are they? Is it an illusion or an actual threat?

"Don't run… you can't escape…" they laugh, and she knows they are right - the Voices are still surrounding her. Regardless of how quickly she moves, they can't be left behind. Sooner or later, she will falter and fall, and then...

"NO!" she cries, tripping and barely managing to stop her crash against the ground with her hands.

The Voices mock her, their bright eyes shining on their unrecognisable faces. They're closing in, showing more and more details of their appearance… She gets up on her feet as quickly as possible, standing in place defensively.

It's chaos. Sakura doesn't have time to think, dodging the shadows that jump towards her constantly, adding their own messages to the cacophony around her.

"You're weak."

They lunge at her relentlessly, grazing her clothes and pushing her. Like a cat playing with its prey...

"You killed us."

The shadows are easier to see now, clearer… she can identify some of them. Blurs of color flash past her eyes, all bringing memories of terrible fates, brought down upon the people the figures resemble.

Their bodies are painted with a myriad of injuries. No one could have survived those marks of brutal torture, identical to the ones in her resurfacing memories.

" _Die!_ "

The girl shrieks in desperation, feeling one of them cut her arm as it flies by. They can _hurt_ her? This is getting from terrible to very much worse, quite fast.

She stands in the middle of the road, looking around her in frantic motions. Which one will be the next to attack? How long will she be able to stand?

The Voices seem to increase the volume of their words, as she feels a strange sensation running through her body. _Danger._ It's something akin to a sixth sense, a combination of awareness and subtle hints that only her subconscious picks up.

Sakura whirls around and throws a fist towards one of the shadows, which was trying to sneak up on her.

_Bump._

Her breathing comes to a sudden halt, as the girl forces herself to throw a hesitant glance upward. What...? Sakura's heart skips a beat when she realises it's not a mere blur of a shadow, but _someone_.

Her eyes are trapped, ensnared by the red and purple irises of a familiar face. _He_ blocked her punch effortlessly and now he throws her onto the ground. She jumps back to her feet immediately, eyes wide in surprise, disbelief and fear.

"No…" she whispers, taking a few steps back and then freezing in place. _It can't be real… it's not…_ "N-no…" Her voice is choked, her whole body trembling uncontrollably.

Yet _He_ doesn't move. Sakura can't feel her own limbs, noticing a bit too late that there are tears running down her face. Is someone speaking? There is a voice, or maybe a thousand, but it's impossible to recognize them.

It feels like a dream - like it isn't happening to her, but someone else, and she is just watching. Helpless to make it stop, to act, do to _anything_.

Her mind has lost the ability to process what is happening, because _Sasuke Uchiha is right in front of her_ , as a chorus of Voices and shadows dances around them, throwing colourfully worded taunts.

As she tries to get up again, Sakura's legs buckle underneath her and she falls forward, staring down at the ground from her forced kneeling position.

There is blood, somehow. It leaves a metallic flavor in her mouth and colour her fingernails, as her hands try to get a hold of the cobblestone under them. The path is damp and slippery, she notes. No possibility of hanging onto it.

The memories of the aftermath of the battle are rushing into her mind, unstoppable… what _He_ did to each and every single one of her friends and allies; to her mind, to each centimeter of her body. It's excruciating.

Just like then, she is helpless to _make it stop_. Once more, she is alone to face demons far greater than her own strength.

" _It hurts_ , _stop, please stop!_ "

Her own words echo through her mind, images of pain and crimson and violet bleeding into her vision. Memories.

" _Don't do this… please, don't!_ "

Broken in mind, heart and body - watching how piece by piece, her life was destroyed, engulfed by black flames of hatred and vengeance. And wrath, focused solely on her.

" _Sasuke-kun…_ "

Sakura never wanted to remember this. All of the effort in blocking it out has gone flying out of the window in an instant, and she can't avoid crying out in pain.

"It's not real…" she whispers, curling up and trying to force it all out.

How did she get here, or why was she in this place to begin with… nothing matters anymore. Sakura knows she is going to suffer a horrible death. It will be a mercy, compared to this suffering.

A familiar face flashes through her memories. The reason, the purpose… for a brief moment, as she hears the voices cheering Sasuke to tear her apart, Sakura is able to _remember_.

"I win," he states, flatly. She is able to _feel_ his depreciating, downwards stare, towards her. The pinkette hears the echo of steps, moving towards her. Only a few more seconds.

Spitting blood, Sakura forces herself to appear as small as possible, cowering in between intense shivers. Shaky fingers curl into fists - she extends her arms, a great synonym of surrender, and waits.

' _He's right..._ _I can't defeat them..._ ' she muses, darkly. No one will help or save her. There is, truly, no way to manage it.

Tears run down her face. This is the scariest moment of her whole life. At least, it will be over soon. Everything in her whole being hurts and wants to pop out of existence, because the mere act of living is the worst of fates.

' _But... I'll be damned if I let_ them _defeat_ ME!'

The steps come to a halt. Now or never.

" _Shānnarō!_ "

Making a rushed handsign, Sakura detonates the explosive tags.

Her movements and demeanor concealed the careful placement of the five she has: two under her hands, one spit from her mouth and onto the ground, and another pair under her own body and legs.

She feels the pain instantly. The two in front of her are the first to go, forcing the illusion to jump away from her.

There's the opening!

The detonations clear away the mist and send pebbles towards her, scratching the skin of her face and hands. It's only the first part of the plan, the less painful one.

Sakura knows htat she would never be able to directly attack Sasuke... so she opted for using the explosives to get him out of the way. They weren't used to harm... but to let her escape.

With as much force as she can pump into her legs, Sakura leaps forward and activates the second set. The other three tags blow up directly beneath her lower half, something that she will have to pay for very soon… but it works.

She is launched onwards, through the space that Sasuke's illusion had been occupying a few moments ago. Sakura is sure a few of her bones are broken, the internal damage sending ripples of pain through her entire being.

It doesn't matter - adrenaline and her own refusal to let it bring her down are fueling her movements. She lands on her palms and feet, using the momentum to dart forwards through the space that was just cleared of fog.

She can distantly feel the jolt that runs through her when her sandals touch the ground, but it barely slows her down.

Her suspicion was right - she is on the outskirts of Shimogakure. Sakura made it.

The Voices have gone quiet and nothing else gets in her path. Before the visibility descends once more, she sprints towards one of the nearby buildings, crashing in through a broken door and finally tripping.

Around her, only the utmost silence, once more. It's over, the nightmare has finally ended. Her legs send spikes of pain throughout her, reminding the girl that her problems aren't over.

She turns around towards the entrance, unsure of her safety - movement catches her eyes, as a single black feather is carried by the last gusts of wind from the explosions.

It lands gently on her lap, as innocent as ever. Her vision starts becoming blurry, engulfed by bottomless dark. Once the rush is gone, Sakura feels her consciousness slip away, and her eyelids are suddenly much heavier than usual.

' _I can't… give up now..._ '

After one tired blink, there is a myriad of crow feathers dancing around her, despite the absence of wind.

"Damn… I was hoping you wouldn't end up here again, so soon."

The pain is gone. Sakura finds herself staring at her own unconscious body, for the second time in her life. Her vision is clear and she can now appreciate the little details of the room she just barged into: it looks like a pottery shop.

Beside her, Naruto shakes his head, dejected. He doesn't look like some creepy, unfocused shadow anymore, but the girl still jumps away from him, looking at the boy warily.

"Hey, chill," he pleads, grinning without a hint of hesitance. "I'm not like those things you saw out there. I'm in you," Naruto explains, tapping his own forehead.

The mere sight of the boy is a reminder of the dreaded aftermath. The walls she had built in her mind to keep such thoughts at bay are gone. With her head working clearer, Sakura is very conscious of all those things she tried to forget.

Perhaps it's the loss of most of her hope, or the events that led her to be in this situation, but… she can't stop them. Sakura curls up and hugs her legs tightly, decided to ignore whatever illusion is going on around her.

' _I don't want any more… I just want to rest, but it never stops._ '

Naruto's clone seems to opine that he's having none of it, because she can hear him again shortly after trying to block the world out.

"I'm not gonna let you give up, Sakura-chan. Even if I have to annoy you so much that you will want to wake up to get away from me, believe it!"

The pinkette raises her head enough to peek over her knees, finding him squatting down in front of her and looking at her with severe eyes. He speaks seriously.

"Don't lie. You think I'm a weakling," Sakura whispers, her jade irises barely visible under the bangs of her hair.

Naruto huffs loudly, waving a hand in the air dismissively. He seems to be unsure about how to proceed in this situation, she notes. Probably because his guide on how to deal with things doesn't include 'girls having a mental breakdown.'

After some moments of thoughtful consideration, he gently brushes away the wild strands of her hair with a finger, leaving her forehead and face in clear view. It's a surprisingly soft gesture, for someone who usually deals with things a lot more _dynamically_ , and it definitely feels quite awkward.

"All I see is a pretty Sakura-chan," he mutters, smiling. "And if that is you behind that sad face, I know you can be very strong," the boy adds, not very adept at speeches as delicate as this one. "SO NOW! You're going to get up and go kick some ass, got it?" Naruto continues, jumping up to his feet enthusiastically.

Sakura merely observes her own body - her legs aren't completely broken, but walking will definitely be difficult. She looks even worse than the last time, so tired and with a frown on her face.

"The kid is counting on you," Naruto comments, giving the kunoichi a smug look when she questioningly turns towards him once more. He nods energetically, as if he was answering a silent inquiry. "You're his hero. And you have to keep him safe. Moping around isn't going to do that!"

The kunoichi sighs, because she _knows_. Yet… her body and mind seem to be going into a fully fledged lockdown. There are too many things crippling her, to be able to _move_.

Sakura shakes her head, sporting sadness on her features.

"I can't…" she mutters. "I just… can't. You're asking me to run when my legs are broken," the girl adds, pointing towards her unconscious body.

"Then you run on your hands, like Lee and Gai! And if you don't have hands, you crawl bite by bite on the ground! I don't care how you do it, but you can't just give up, Sakura-chan!" Naruto retorts, showing the inner fire that changed the world and its people. All, except one.

It feels like an endless loop that leads her to remain curled up and sulking. Sakura is aware of the causes of it: trauma, shock, repression of certain thoughts and memories so she can function better...

Naruto's words seem to be hitting a wall, and she can tell he is frustrated. Maybe he just doesn't get it, maybe Sakura is being stubborn, but nothing he says seems to break the cycle.

Her mind wanders through a list of familiar faces and memories attached to them: sharing Team 7's first meal with Naruto when he was tied to a post, Ino giving her the red ribbon, Kakashi-sensei's excuses for being late…

Her own parents, throwing her a surprise birthday party; Lee and Gai with their ridiculous poses; Hinata's blushes; the nice lady that she always greeted when walking towards Konoha's hospital.

One by one, they drift through her mind, from past to present. And they stop on the well-known picture of Misho, smiling as his archive picture was taken.

It's the same face she remembers seeing when she thought it was the end. When everything seemed like it was lost and Sasuke would torture and rape her again, back in the fog.

The kid's features and characteristic grin are blurred... is it him or Naruto? She doesn't know, but... like then, she realises she can't fail him. Either of them. Even if she has to walk through hell and back!

The switch is flipped - immediately, Sakura seems to be conscious that _he needs her_. How could she have waited so long? Thinking of giving up… it feels so wrong now.

Naruto notices the change in her expression, stopping mid-rant about ramen. His blue eyes meet Sakura's, and an understanding grin etches itself into his lips.

She responds with a hesitant smile of her own.

* * *

The kunoichi's breath creates small clouds of steam. The air is cold and winter will soon make its grand entrance. Limping towards a different building, Sakura throws a glare at the veiled sky, as if daring it to unleash the storm it's brewing within clouds.

Everything in her seems to be hurting in one way or the other, but after three hours, her body recovered enough to let her go back to consciousness again. Immediately, she assessed the damage done to her legs - bad, but not entirely crippling.

With the help of a kunai, she ripped off some of the planks of the floor and used them for an impromptu splint. She'll fix it when there's time. An old umbrella will have to do as a cane, since she is lacking proper crutches.

The rest was more or less fine and there was no trace of the strange illusions that attacked her, though some of their cuts were still on her skin, causing her to furrow her brows. How did she actually get these cuts?

The only other noticeable thing on her skin were the chakra tendril marks: they seemed to be constricting her skin really hard, burning with great intensity. Used to the feeling they cause, she didn't notice at first, and soon stopped paying attention to them.

Regardless, the fog was gone, and the priority became hurrying up and finishing the next step of her mission as soon as possible. Every other problem or question has been relegated into a corner of her mind.

The search through Shimo began - the target is a middle-aged man named Tetsu Tomohiro, who died in the village. According to Yugakure's files, while they weren't actively involved in the war, they did send help near the frontlines - their specialised staff with field training.

Most of them were kept away from the worst of the fights, as secondary aid in healing, but they were there. And by putting together what was in Yu's archives and from Kiri's recalling of the events of the aftermath, she knows that a lot of them ended up here.

The majority of those people never made it out.

Nearly all of them died of exhaustion or injuries, since very few were able to actually heal others. Their state must have been really bad...

Shimo had been evacuated and the damage done to the village's infrastructure kept them away from being able to contact help, so only a handful managed to ever reach Yugakure. Perhaps they weren't killed by Sasuke, but his actions caused their deaths.

If the archives from Yu are correct, Tomohiro was also an user of rat summons - someone who trained to use them for his work. Unlike others, though, he usually brought his scroll with him.

Apparently, according to his documents, he had developed a technique that involved letting other people use it to call the rodents to their aid.

They worked as messengers - creating a connection between different people and the rats, this medic could successfully create small nets of messagery, first aid or alert in case of danger. Very useful, in areas where staying on guard was necessary.

It didn't save him from being one of the many presumed casualties of Frost's harsh climate and lack of proper help. If she can find his body… Sakura should be able to summon a rat and request information on Misho. Even a reversal of the technique could bring her straight to where he is.

She was careful enough to bring a sample of his blood, both to use on the Finder scroll and on his summoning one. Who knows in what state will his body be.

Shimogakure is enveloped by an eerie atmosphere - it isn't a big village, but the empty and silent streets make it feel like a graveyard. In a way, it is. It's likely that most people will never come back to their homes: the damage done to this land is too much.

The corpses start becoming common when she goes near the small hospital. They're all dressed in the Alliance's clothing and most have frozen, so their decay is minimal.

It's good because that makes searching them easier, and bad because they look almost exactly like when they died. As a medic-nin, Sakura isn't scared of seeing dead people. Somehow, though, the death of these feels like her fault. If only she could have done anything to help them…

It takes most of the day to examine about a hundred of them. Walking around with her legs in this condition is quite difficult, especially because the ground is mostly frozen over. If only she had soldier pills!

As the sun settles down below the horizon, she finally finds Tomohiro. He is slumped against a wall, inside the hospital, apparently having died in his sleep. At least, he went out peacefully.

Sakura puts aside her improvised crane and sits beside him with a grunt of pain. The girl takes out the flask of blood from her backpack and places the Finder scroll in it.

After searching his flak jacket, she manages to find the thing that has brought her all the way over here: a summoning contract, thankfully kept safe from the worst of the weather inside a pocket.

Her breath is irregular and her fingers shake. It's now or never. If this doesn't work…

The kunoichi extends the document over the dirty floor carefully and pours a few droplets of blood on the seal.

After clumsily doing the hand seals, Sakura slams the palm of her hand down on the paper, muttering the name of the summoning technique.

' _Please, work..._ ' she prays, closing her eyes.

"Hey, lass, you called?"


	11. You are Awesome [Interlude 1]

_When he first saw her, she shone like a dying star._

When he first saw her, she was in the middle of a fight against thin air, crying and swearing and sometimes letting out whimpers and pained words. Black fire consumed the grass around her feet - it melted the ground beneath the girl, literally crystallizing it.

She looked both like an all-powerful goddess and a deadly monster. Misho stared at her for a few seconds, wondering if it was a dream. He pinched his wrist and let out a little cry when it actually _hurt_.

Okay, perhaps it was some sort of hallucination. He was the one to forget about the secondary effects of certain chemicals, regardless of how much the rest of his family pulled their hair at the safety transgressions.

The kid just wanted some fresh air, after endless hours of insomnia. Even though the door of the refuge was locked every night, he had learned how to sneak in and out of closed spaces. It was the only way to get around the adults' restrictions.

Misho found her after hearing the strange twangs of bells, which he promptly followed. She was shining as brightly as the sun, so much that it was almost impossible to look at her without squinting. Her pink hair floated in the violent gusts of wind, jade eyes glimmering with tears of anger and sadness.

Black tendril-like marks snaked through her entire body, fuming with what looked like pure darkness. The boy noticed them very easily, because her clothes had burnt away. He didn't want to look for decency's sake, but the sight had him entranced in an instant.

It looked like the girl was performing a crazy dance. Her movements were chaotic and jerky, each of them triggered the bell rings he'd heard, different notes each time.

It felt like watching a wildfire consuming a forest, a landslide or a tsunami - something broken, or falling apart, torn to pieces by raw, uncontrolled power. Horrid fascination kept him on his spot atop a hill for a very long time.

"Misho? What-"

He immediately covered his brother's mouth with a hand, without looking away from the girl.

"I don't know," Misho muttered. The boy hadn't heard Soma's approach, but he was too focused on the pinkette to care too much. His absence hadn't gone unnoticed, was all he noted.

After a sigh of resignation, his younger sibling plopped down next to him. Whenever Misho didn't understand something, he could count on Soma to figure it out, analysing every detail carefully. That's the advantage of having a prodigy as a brother, he often thought.

They watched in silence, the spectacle of the girl's movements developing not very far from them. The black fire obscured their view of her overtime, until they could see nothing but a dark blur that caused stones to shatter and melt.

"I think she's out of it," commented Soma. His words broke the spell that had fallen over them. He got up to his feet and dusted off his clothes. Misho blinked - the black fire was gone, and now the girl lay on the ground, unconscious.

He wanted to walk towards her, but his brother's hand shot forward and grabbed his wrist, holding him back.

"Don't go alone again, alright?" Soma whispered. He proceeded to smack his head and pull him into a tight hug.

Misho nodded and returned the gesture, guilt gnawing at him now that he was back to his senses. His little brother cared for him a great deal and always worried for his wellbeing. Of course he'd notice if his sibling disappeared in the middle of the night.

"We should go back and tell," added Soma after they separated, glancing at the barely visible figure of the girl. "She looks like a normal person."

The boy didn't want to leave. Something about her seemed surreal. What if she just disappeared?

"I'll guard her," he replied, his eyes conveying his secret worry.

His brother always understood things that no one else did - and while Soma was quite respectful of rules and caution, he was always willing to help him out. So obviously, when he said this, his sibling just shook his head and rolled his eyes, saying he would be back soon.

Both of them knew Misho would inevitably give in to his curiosity and take a closer peek of the girl. Yet, his brother seemed to have figured out that she wasn't dangerous, and he would have trusted Soma with his life.

He only waited until his sibling was out of sight, to trot down from his hiding place and towards her. The air was hot and he had to avoid patches of melted ground and burning grass. If he had to compare it to anything, it would be the feeling of the atmosphere right after a lightning strike. _Charged._

Actually, he could compare the whole experience to that: destructive yet beautiful, brief but intricate with detail, powerful enough to mark the ground and air around it. It left a mark, just like she had.

From up close, he was surprised to see she looked very young. Her body didn't even have many _curves_. The girl that had caused such a great impact on the landscape and him… she looked extremely vulnerable, _real._ She clutched a black feather in her hands, curled up on the ground she had just destroyed.

The dark marks covered her whole body, their pattern reminding him, again, of lightning. She was very hurt, starved and pale due to blood loss. She had a myriad of wounds in all sorts of places, most of them brimming with purulence and infection.

She was nearly dead, he noted with worry. How had she been able to do all these things, just half an hour ago? Misho noticed the little figure on her forehead - a purple rhombus, intertwined with the black tendrils.

Hesitantly, he reached out and pushed the wild strands of her hair out of her face, to see it clearer. She was so cold...

He knew it was a mistake when her eyes suddenly opened, darting around as if looking for a source of danger. He pulled his hand back as swiftly as possible, wondering what would she do now. The girl seemed to be delirious.

She was muttering things again, but even though now Misho was able to hear them, he couldn't understand anything. The moment her gaze managed to meet with his, it went unfocused, her features reflected deep panic.

"Calm down, please, you're safe," he whispered, in a vain attempt to reassure the girl. She didn't seem to listen, her whole figure shaken by shivers and her eyes closing once more.

It took a moment for Misho to notice that she must have been cold. He took off his jacket and covered her torso with it, trying to avoid touching her as much as possible.

It wasn't much, because he was quite a small kid and she had nothing on ner, but it was better than nothing.

"It's okay, miss," the boy added. The girl stopped quivering and blinked a few times, confusion and thoughtfulness reflected in her green eyes.

"N-Naruto?" she muttered. She attempted to raise a hand to his face, but didn't have the strength.

Without the slightest clue of what a 'naruto' is, Misho shook his head. The pinkette didn't seem to notice, she just whispered the same word over and over. He saw her desperation when she reached out to him and awkwardly held her hand.

The boy was surprised by how firm was her grip, her cool fingers closing around his smaller ones. She went quiet, closing her eyes again and features changed to a more peaceful expression.

Misho was frozen in place, his mind filled with questions and his heart beating a bit too quickly. All he did was wait until Soma came back with Mom and Dad, slightly fearful of disturbing this sudden tranquility.

The girl had lost consciousness, her hand gone limp and her breath barely present. They put her on a stretcher, taking her away from him. The boy noticed that her other hand still held the feather tightly, as they trudged back home.

What a strange person she was...

* * *

Her name was, funnily enough, Sakura Haruno. She was a kunoichi from Konoha and a very famous medic-nin. Almost legendary, and not even an adult. His whole family's abilities paled in comparison to hers.

Yet there she was, lying on the basement's floor and barely able to keep her heart working.

"She won't survive much longer," announced Mom, after they placed her there. As usual, she spoke with direct words. "We have to go back to the hospital, so it will be your task to make sure she doesn't suffer."

He noticed his brother's frown, an expression he usually did when he was deep in thought. It didn't take him much more time to speak out.

"Can't we put her to sleep?" asked Soma, throwing him an apologetic glance - he knew how much Misho liked the girl.

Mom shook her head, impassive.

"We don't have the right chemicals. You said she caused some destruction, and if her body's balance is broken, it could happen again. Just keep her drugged with the things we told you to use so she won't have any strength," she added. The medic hugged her children and turned to her husband.

When she and Dad left, Soma turned towards Misho with an air of severity to him.

"They're lying," he announced, teeth gritted. "There's a lot of ways to put someone out of their misery."

Misho glanced at Sakura and brushed her forehead with his fingers. Still cold… but alive. Why would Mom and Dad lie, though? They rarely hid anything from them, so whatever they wanted to keep a secret had to be very serious.

"I think they want to keep her alive," Soma added, definitely miles ahead of him. "She's important… but I don't know why did Mom say the opposite. Nothing of it makes sense," he continued, dejected.

The younger sibling had great admiration for their parents, so it hurt him quite a bit to realise they hadn't been honest. Misho was sure of the validity his judgement, but merely shrugged, drawing back his hand.

Misho's knowledge of the complex chemicals that Sakura needed to be put down was almost non-existent, so hadn't noticed the lack of logic in the situation.

"Well… Mom did say we had to take care of her. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing _that_."

Soma nodded, a plan forming in his mind. Misho busied himself with musical taps on the floor with his fingers, while he waited. After a few minutes, his brother had figured out what to do.

It was simple, really - they'd try to make sure she didn't suffer or perish. That would require using some of the strongest drugs, mainly painkillers, but it should give them enough time to wait for Mom and Dad to come back and tell the truth.

If Sakura ever woke up, no information about her real state should be mentioned.

The next days, however, proved themselves to be a bit more challenging than that.

* * *

Misho and Soma had been bantering about the strangest medics back at Yu. The oldest boy was sure that their impersonations were definitely flawless, his younger sibling laughing until he cried.

Then, Sakura screamed, scaring them nearly to death. It was a shriek of pure terror and pain - regardless of the drugs, her upper half jerked up and her eyes opened.

There was no fire, but the black smoke enveloped her with a wicked aura. The atmosphere immediately felt fuggy, as if a storm was about to be released. The strange energy sent shivers down Misho's spine. Like deer caught in the headlights, the brothers were frozen in place.

Sakura's eyes focused on an undefined point in space, her hands clutching her own legs so tightly she drew blood. Whatever she was experiencing seemed excruciating. There were stories about how she had been stabbed in the gut with a poisoned blade… and had barely flinched. This had to be something on a next level of pain.

Soma managed to snap out of it and ran out of the room, probably looking for the strongest drug in storage. Misho saw one of the pinkette's hands release its hold and reach forward in the air. For some reason, he knew what she was looking for.

When his brother came back with no less than three syringes, he found Misho kneeling next to Sakura. He held her hand and breathed heavily. It had hurt for a moment, but once the girl's gaze found his, she calmed down and fell back again.

Obviously, his sibling took less than five seconds to put aside the items he carried and smack his head. Misho grinned, but he felt very tired for some reason. Soma watched him lie down next to her, still holding her hand.

The youngest of the boys sighed and dragged a heavy blanket towards them, sitting next to bedroll and using it to cover everyone up.

"Thanks."

Misho received a half-assed smack on the head for his troubles.

* * *

Over the next days, they had to learn to keep a distance from Sakura whenever posisble. The energy that seemed to fill her body and the air around her was _dangerous_. It had burnt a few blankets, her own new clothes, syringes and even a little bit of Soma's hand.

Misho insisted on being the one to take care of her. His brother obliged, conscious of his fascination with the pinkette. It was an unspoken agreement between them - whenever one had a special interest in something, they'd get out of each other's way.

"She's… healing," the boy muttered, surprised. Soma scooted closer to take a peek, not very convinced.

They knew the girl should be in a near-death state, but against all odds… not only was she very far from that, Sakura was getting better.

Over the last days, she had started to mutter things in her sleep, mostly strange words they knew nothing about. And now, she was almost good enough to fully wake up.

She did, with an amused snicker. Apparently, she heard the two brothers casual bickering, as per usual when they had nothing better to do. They had argued about if she was asleep or not, so that was their answer.

Soma let Misho take care of the situation, keeping his distance. The eldest soon fell into his cheerful and carefree behavior, fueled by genuine happiness. He immediately befriended the pinkette, who seemed to accept his attention pretty nicely. The only lie he had to tell Sakura was about why their parents were gone.

Misho's growing admiration for her didn't seem to be hitting a limit anytime soon. The only way he could describe Sakura was with the word 'amazing'. She was a strange mix of a hero and a big sister.

He noticed Soma had been a bit too quiet lately, probably because now he had no one to talk to very often. His solution was to add him to the party without a second thought.

"I can't keep something so cool just to myself," Misho laughed, watching his brother smile.

* * *

Sakura's recovery was impressive, they had to agree on that. She was _walking_ and clearly tried to get back on her feet as soon as possible. Most other people would need weeks to maintain fluent conversations, but she… she plainly refused to give up.

Even then, her dreams were usually plagued by nightly horrors. That much they could tell by her whimpers and whispers of nonsensical words. The dark marks on her skin seemed to react to her distress, fuming when she didn't feel alright. They had been dubbed 'black worms' and, strangely enough, she couldn't see them.

Misho spent many nights by her side, regardless of the danger, holding her hand. It left him exhausted and sometimes his fingers ended up with small burns, but it was the only thing that seemed to be able to calm her down. If she knew, she didn't say anything.

Sometimes she was in a dazed state, getting lost in her thoughts. Even if the drugs weren't enough to her down, it was likely that her ability to remain attentive wasn't at its best. He was used to Sakura's tendency to trail off mid-sentence and long periods of silence.

Another thing started to bother both Soma and him - Mom and Dad were taking a very long time to return. Even though they were usually busy people, they should have come back a while ago.

Misho's insomnia kept him from sleeping after a day of worry, so he decided to go for a walk outside. He stumbled upon the kunoichi and figured it would be as good of a time as ever to tell her about the brothers' idea of going back home.

Sakura was clearly determined to head for Yugakure soon, so of course, he requested to tag along. He had even discussed the reasoning with Soma, when they considered a plan to try and contact their parents. After considering it very thoroughly, she reluctantly agreed.

* * *

Misho ran, against Soma's attempts to hold him back. Sakura was… losing it. Something happened, perhaps a detail they had missed, triggered a reaction that caused her state to become similar to the one they found her in.

Except, this time, she was fighting against Yugakure's medics. And judging by the state of their bodies, they were about to be literally melted.

"Sakura!" he screamed, in an attempt to call for her attention. If only he had a moment, to catch her hand… that always worked. It _had_ to work.

She turned towards him, eyes clouded by insanity. He froze in his tracks. That look… it was nothing like her. It was scary and wrong and _broken_.

He shook with fear, feeling her pain and anger as it radiated towards him. It was almost physical, and every fiber of his being _hurt._ At least, she had stopped her attack... Misho closed his eyes and extended his arm, hand open for her. If this didn't work…

To his surprise, the boy could feel her approach, the killing intent almost gone. Her fingers brushed against his, sending a jolt of chakra througout his body. When their hands were fully in contact, it _burned,_ as if her same black fire cursed his veins.

But Misho didn't let go. Instead, he held tighter. In the tense silence that surrounded them, he heard Soma gasp.

Did his little brother stay back on purpose, because he knew the plan would work? It sounded like he was counting on him to defuse a trap, waiting in stressed expectation. Did he… _believe_ in him?

The boy thought about many things about life, very aware that it might end in any moment... and for some reason, it felt nice that someone thought he could be useful. Even if it was just to stop Sakura from hurting herself and other people. So nice...

His thoughts lost their track, vital energy drained from his body at a dangerous rate. Misho opened his eyes when he felt Sakura slump over. He barely had time to catch her. The girl's weight sent both of them tumbling onto the ground, but at least, it was over.

The pounding Soma gave to him as soon as it was clear the situation had calmed down, taught the boy a valuable lesson about why you don't worry a little brother.

* * *

"Perhaps we should keep her in a cell," offered Keisho. The old hag was looking at the door to Sakura's room, her arms crossed over her chest.

From his hiding spot, Misho had to cover his mouth. Loud curses wouldn't help his situation.

"It isn't safe," replied Riko. "The state of her chakra pathways seems to be very… unstable. Attempting to keep it in check with seals and scheduled drains could kill her or trigger a violent reaction."

She always talked with weird words… worse than Mom, he grumbled, listening intently to hear every single word.

"We can't let her come and go as she pleases… she might suspect something and turn against us," retorted Keisho. "It seems like using chakra to sedate her works as a last resort. If she lashes out, we can-"

"She isn't dangerous!" burst out Misho, deciding he'd had enough. These people were talking about Sakura as if she was some sort of monster to keep in a cage, and that was just so far away from the truth... He couldn't just let them.

He walked out from where he hid and looked at the three medics defiantly, daring them to protest. Considering they were quite a bit taller than him, it was probably a funny sight.

"Shut up, kid, you'll wake her up," hissed the third adult, pointing towards the door.

Misho stuck out his tongue at him. In response, the man raised an eyebrow and turned to Keisho. His name started with 'Ki', that's all the boy remembered about him, because he wasn't from Yu.

"Isn't that the brat that took her down?" the medic asked. In that moment, the boy decided he definitely didn't like him.

The Head of Yugakure nodded, glaring at Misho so intensely that he was forced to gulp. Well, maybe this was a bit too reckless.

"Problem solved, then." decreed the man, with a casual shrug. "I'm sure she trusts him. Leave a dog with them to detect hints of a possible breakdown and have the kid watch her."

Misho blinked. Was this guy mocking him or trying to help? Why'd he do that anyway? He wished Soma was there to explain everything… his sibling had been basically dragged away from him as soon as they stepped into the hospital.

Keisho _still_ had to argue against it and the kid managed to throw in a few loud protests, but they finally let him see her, accompained by one of the therapy dogs. Even though he was kicked out of the room pretty quickly, at least he knew that the girl was alright.

Over the next days, he became Sakura's new shadow, figuratively speaking. It wasn't just because they told him to, but because he felt he had to take care of her. Misho felt like he owed it to the girl - it was only due to her presence in his life, that he could finally do something of worth. Without failing horribly, that is.

He spent so much time with the girl that he didn't get a glimpse of his family for a long time. They were busy with hospital matters too, but at least now he wasn't just attempting to learn medicine on his own. It never went well.

Misho felt like he was _useful_ , for once. Sakura appreciated his company and took care of him as well. She was sick and nowhere near a full recovery, mentally speaking, but it was better than nothing.

She was amazing, that much she showed when her practice started. Even in her state, the kunoichi was able to kick her opponents' asses. It was going well, until she suddenly froze and started muttering things again.

The boy knew what was going to happen before the black fire and smoke enveloped her. He saw how the medics beside him paled and tensed up.

A second later, she lashed out. Quick like lightning, she darted forward and _slashed_ at her opponent with her arm. The man had no time to react - he was knocked backwards and into a wall, leaving a dent on it.

Blood flew through the air, Sakura's aura filling the room's atmosphere like a bad omen. A storm about to fall upon them…

She screamed and talked to no one. And she started walking towards the man she had just attacked, her torso slumped forward and with her arms dangling under her. She looked like a puppet controlled by forces that should only exist in nightmares. Sakura…

Kiri finally reacted. Misho had gotten to know the man in the last days, but he had never seen him so serious. He summoned what had to be a pool's worth of water with a jutsu and charged against the kunoichi. In no time, she was enveloped by the liquid, floating above the ground and thrashing around, to try and break free.

Misho didn't know what to do. The feeling of helplessness paralyzed him. He was _useless_. All he could do was watch as Kiri managed to make Sakura listen to him and calm down, immobilizing her right afterward.

The water was turned into steam at an alarming rate, but the shinobi miraculously held out long enough. He let go of her and the pinkette fell to the ground in the middle of a splash of water.

"Don't!" Kiri warned as he panted, when he saw the boy run to her. The ninja still had enough energy to pull him away, just as Sakura reached out...

He wanted to tell them he could do this, it was his thing, his ability, something no one else could do… his redeeming quality - being useful to Sakura Haruno.

Yet it was Riko who ended up by her side, trying to figure out what to do. There was no one in the room besides them and the injured man, who moaned in pain - this place was sound-proof, so whatever happened in here wouldn't be heard outside.

Sakura was scared, he noticed. She was so very afraid of Riko, even though Misho didn't know why. Soma's theory was that someone had done very bad things to her.

She tried to block it off in her mind, but sometimes she slipped… and now she was so drained of energy that she had no strength left for that or to protect herself from outside threats.

The girl was defenseless, and she knew. Misho could tell she was absolutely terrified, in the brief moments she was awake. He had never seen someone so scared, and he wondered what happened to make her like this.

* * *

No one died in the 'Gym Incident', as he called it. Sakura took a while to recover, but she seemed as determined as ever to get better. The kunoichi even agreed to be his teacher, and he put his whole soul into learning the sealing arts.

Sakura was patient and kind, much unlike anyone that had ever taken the role of mentor for him. In turn, he tried his best to be the most awesome student, ever.

He realised that her happiness and approval made him feel content. This was what Soma always talked about - the nice feeling that helping others provided. And now, he was actually doing it. On his own, no less!

She still had nightmares sometimes. The girl didn't say a word about it, but he knew. Misho held her hand many nights and late mornings, staying by her side to make sure she was alright. For once, he had something to do, and he was determined to keep her safe and sound.

He had always liked the therapy dogs from Yugakure, but he rarely had the chance to spend time with them. Now, there was always at least one of them with him. If Sakura started feeling distressed in the middle of the night, the canines would wake him up. He felt grateful for their company and help.

He knew there was trouble in the hospital, because the medics were going from place to place frantically, but he ignored it. The girl was alright, and that was almost all he cared about. He missed Soma, Mom and Dad.

Even if they normally spent a lot of time working, his new task kept him from seeing them at all. It was only when a reunion was called, that he got to meet with his family.

Soma dragged him aside as soon as he entered the room, and they sneaked out while the adults' attention was focused on Sakura. The first thing his little brother did, as emotional as always, was hug him tightly.

He explained something terrible to him. Over the last days, he had gathered information about the importance of Sakura, and figured out that old-hag-Keisho wanted to hand her over to some bad guy - the same, Soma added, that had hurt her so much in the past.

Misho was left shivering, only managing to nod as his little brother (bless his genius) offered a plan of action. It would require more lies, but if it kept her safe...

"I know she's the most important thing to you," Soma muttered, looking down with slight resignation. "You love Mom, and Dad, and me… but we're family."

He had accepted… that perhaps his eldest sibling's heart was drifting towards a different place.

"I know… that you love us, and we love you, but you can't always be chasing after our shadow," the boy added, failing to keep tears from his eyes.

He was quoting Dad's words about how Misho should find something to work on, even if it was different than his family's. Was he… saying farewell?

"Soma-" Misho muttered, feeling his own eyes become a bit too wet for comfort.

"It's okay. I got it covered," his brother cut him, covering Misho's mouth with a hand. "I have no idea what can you do to help her, but I'm sure you can do it, Misho. I believe in you."

When the reunion ended, they met up with their parents. According to Soma, Mom and Dad knew all about the plans for Sakura. Misho was definitely on his own to keep her safe.

He talked to them and was happy to know they were alright. Genuinely proud that Dad approved of his choice of studies, he got the idea of what he could do.

* * *

Misho leaned over and brushed Sakura's forehead with his thumb. Faking sleep until she was deep in slumber hadn't been too difficult, but he was still very tired. There was no time for rest.

The girl's skin was as cool as it was normal, the purple rhombus sticking out against her pale appearance.

"I'll save you," he muttered. Misho glanced at the dog once more - he sedated the animal, hopefully with the right dose, so it wouldn't wake up for a few hours. By then, he would be long gone.

Later, he sat under the stars, in the park that he and Sakura had visited so many times. Almost in their favorite spot, too. His back against a tree, he tried to steady his breath and calm down.

He had to admit, he was scared. Misho knew this might go wrong, but… it was the only option.

Misho recalled Sakura's rare smiles - many times, she tried to fake them, but from time to time a real one would show up in her face. That one time, she went out of the room and came back shocked and silent.

She didn't seem to be listening, but he kept trying. Eventually, she snapped out of it - that's how his fūinjutsu lessons began. She seemed genuinely happy for a brief moment, even though he sensed the girl was holding back a whole load of worry.

Perhaps she wouldn't share her inner turmoil, but he knew it was there, just as much as he was sure that he was helping her. They needed each other right now.

He was an anchor to the real world for her, he would always be there to make sure she didn't get lost in her insanity.

And Sakura… she was one of the nicest people he'd met. She was beautiful and powerful, but most of all, his hero. Because she helped those who needed it, even if they seemed like a lost cause. Like him.

She was, in one word, awesome. Sometimes scary and broken, but kind and caring too. Sakura... he'd never forgive himself if he didn't at least try to protect her.

' _This is for you, miss-nin._ '

He kept her smile clear in his mind, as he cut his thumb and slammed his palm down on the ground, chanting the summoning jutsu.


	12. Into a Fantasy | Arc II: Runaway

_It's said that even after you die, your voice leaves an undying echo in the world._

"That's fucked up, ah."

Sakura has a very hard time controlling an eye twitch and the urge to smack the tiny furball that she just summoned. The small rat, Maru, leans on his bō staff with the most casual air, even after listening to her tale of how exactly she ended up in this situation. At first she wanted to learn about Misho's situation as quickly as possible, but the damn rodent merely dodged her questions and punches, and said he deserves an explanation too.

"You don't say," she grumbles, deciding that slamming her fist into the only help she has found so far, again, is probably not a good idea.

Maru's whiskers tingle with unhidden amusement, perceiving her anger and apparently enjoying it thoroughly.

"Very well, Pinky" he comments, disappearing with a puff of smoke.

The girl curses in a loud voice, hitting whatever is within her reach. Stupid annoying pest… If he doesn't come back she's thoroughly _screwed_ and if he does, she's gonna kill him. Gruesome thoughts of the possibilities manifest in her mind, as she momentarily forgets about her legs' injuries and kicks a wall.

"Ow, hell," the pinkette cries, falling back down on her rear.

Sighing, she scoots over to the scroll with the contract, picking it up and then moving over to a small bathroom on the side. Something in the atmosphere feels menacing, like she is being stalked from very close. Sakura is used to the paranoia of having someone watching her, but here… it's almost a tangible thing. Like in any moment, something will come running at her and attack.

The girl locks the door behind her and plops down on one of the toilet seats. She leans against the wall, figuring it's as good of a time as ever to put some order in her mind. Since the… event in the pottery shop, it seems like her thoughts are a bit more smooth. The chaos that reigned in her mind isn't as strong as it used to be.

' _We're not a total mess anymore, huh?_ ' comments her inner voice.

The past month has been a blur of barely getting through each day, haunted by nightmares, hallucinations and fear. But overall, a weight that seemed to pull down on her heart and belly - the invisible mark of emptiness, of… well, getting lost in the road of life, she quotes with a sad smile. It's all the work of despair, caused by a single man whose broken mind led him to destroy everything she cared for.

Even after Sasuke left her in the battlefield, his shadow towered over her, clouding her sight from anything but darkness. He successfully scarred her for life, and even if the kunoichi can't see it… she can feel the black tendrils etched on her skin. Hell, chances are she will be unable to use chakra properly ever again.

In her predicament, the combination of pain, fear and weakness kept her mind from working like it should have. When was the last time she thought about things as mundane as looking nice? Because, taking a glance at herself in one of the bathroom's mirrors, she realises just how _filthy_ her body and clothes are.

All this time… Sakura has been living in a shell of her former self. Slugging past each day, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Her mind was so clouded and deep into disorder, that proper rationalisation hasn't been a thing for a very long time. How could she do that, already fighting a battle to keep it together? If the person she was just barely two months ago saw her now… would she see a stranger?

' _Who am I?_ ' she wonders, looking down at her gloved hands. They seem to refuse to warm up.

The kunoichi closes her eyes, her mind recalling a _definition_ of who is 'Sakura Haruno'. It hurts to think all the things that are important in her life are either gone or so far away that, if they disappear, she won't even know.

' _Keep it cool, girl,_ ' jokes Inner-Sakura, grinning. ' _We got this!_ '

She smiles for a moment, nodding to herself. Hell yeah! Right now, what matters is rescuing Misho. After that, she'll have time to think about how messed up her life is and what to do about it. The pinkette gets a hold of the only thing that has somehow managed to stay by her side: the crow feather. She twirls it between her fingers without really noticing, invaded by a strange feeling of relief.

It's the same emotion that filled her heart when she last talked to 'Naruto'. A fiery resolution that seemingly came out of nowhere, giving her the strength she lacked before. It's warm and nice, and gives her hope. Sakura decides that she'll hold onto it as hard as possible.

Minutes and perhaps even hours pass, as she delves into her mind's inner work. Lowly, she starts to hum songs, to distract herself. Even with this newfound peace, the darker thoughts and feelings tug at her to fall into misery again. There are no things to entertain herself too much in this empty place, and it's not like she can go anywhere with her legs in this state. Distantly, she starts to notice the small echo that her voice produces.

' _There was no echo before,_ ' whispers Inner-Sakura, gravely.

Her tone sends shivers down Sakura's spine, making her stop immediately. Yet, the replica of the sound persists. In fact, there are more and more of them… and they are coming from the _outside_. She feels herself freeze in place, eyes widening with a terrible realisation. There is a small window right above her head, so even with her clumsiness, she climbs onto the toilet and gets a hold of the windowsill.

Sakura lets out a horrified yelp and falls backwards, barely avoiding a very dangerous collision with the ground by landing on her hands and feet. Her legs send a jolt of pain throughout her, but she purses her lips and backs away from the opening on the wall.

The fog is back… and she can see dozens of faintly outlined figures standing in it, their empty eyes all focused on her. They're singing, increasing the volume of their voices ever so slowly, as if to mock her. Those things don't look human… but they're definitely real. Even if they're slightly different from the ones that attacked her before, the Voices aren't just a part of her imagination. They can't be.

The tendrils marked on her skin palpitate, burning so much that it feels like they will melt her flesh. She remembers the cuts acquired the last time she had to face these strange apparitions. Could they actually kill her? How can she fight? She already used a kamikaze strategy to get past them before, and now she's trapped. Can they even get in here?

" _...Painted rivers with our blood, colored the sky with a thousand souls, burnt to the bone every last one, and it's all your sole fault!_ "

They keep twisting the lyrics, getting closer and closer until it feels like they're seeping in through the walls. Sakura tries to look for any sort of weapon in her pockets, but only the small kunai remain. Cursing in a low voice, she reaches out for the umbrella and hastily gets up to her feet. She can either try to camp out here and wait for that damn rat to come back, or try to get away from ground level.

That would mean getting out of here and going to the upper levels of the hospital. What if the Voices are already there? Creepy building or creepy apparitions?

A loud scratching noise makes her flinch and turn to the window, only to find one of these disfigured faces pressed against the glass. Slowly but steadily, it's filling with cracks. Making her decision in that split second, Sakura unlocks the door and takes a peek of the hallway. It's dark but empty. As quickly as possible, she bolts for the staircase that can be seen at the deep end of the corridor.

Thankfully, there doesn't seem to be a single entity within the building. It's slightly warmer, enough for her to smell a faint stench of rotten flesh, but Sakura focuses on getting further ups and find somewhere to block herself in. Right now, she is mentally thanking the Shira family for the flashlight they left behind, because otherwise it would be completely dark in here.

The Voices are a bit more distant, though still right outside the hospital. It seems like they can't get this far in. Sakura stays alert for any noise that might reveal an enemy within the labyrinth of corridors, but there is nothing. She manages to find a small lounge, even with some vending machines that someone broke for their content. This is a closed room, without any more doors or even a single window, containing only a few seats and tables, so it'll do. With some effort, she blocks the door off with a neat pile of strategically placed chairs.

Plopping down on one of the unused ones, the girl takes a few deep breaths to recover. Now that was sudden. What the heck is wrong with this place? Sakura would like to believe that the typical concept of 'haunted' doesn't apply for here… it might be some sort of seal or jutsu, targeting the mind of a specific user. Complex, but plausible. It wouldn't be rare that it was some sort of defensive method from the people that took shelter here, working even after they died.

That would explain why those things can hurt her and affect the environment, instead of being typical hallucinations that limit themselves to messing with her mind.

' _I'm impressed, you hadn't been this thoughtful in a while._ ' Inner-Sakura sounds both admiring and mocking, but it's true - whenever things like these start to happen around her, she tends to lose her mind and lash out. Not complaining about the new grasp on reality, to be honest.

"You look like you just saw a ghost," salutes Maru, appearing next to her amid a small cloud of smoke.

Sakura slams her forehead against the table in front of her, letting out something that seems to be between a sob and a snicker. He just cut through the tension like it wasn't even there, ruining the atmosphere with that nonchalant comment.

"Something like that, yeah," she mutters, trembling. She remembers her past promise of dealing with the small pest accordingly, the girl raises her head and glares at Maru, who leans on his staff with the most casual air. "So?" Sakura asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly, her expression serious.

"Turns out some twat did end up at our nest, ah," he replies, wagging his tail smugly. The rat knows she is desperate for information, and is apparently willing to test the limits of her patience. "He may or may not have burned a lot of things, so that didn't make anyone happy," Maru adds, a content expression on his face, as if he was reminiscing something nice. "But he's alive, ah," he finishes, just as Sakura feels a twitch on her fingers.

 _Alive._ Misho is alive. The kunoichi doesn't realise she hadn't been holding her breath, until she sighs with relief. The rat watches her with interest, though Sakura spends less than three seconds basking in the glorious feeling of security.

"Take me to him," she requests, something between a plea and an order, leaning forward towards the rodent.

"Ah, ah, do you think we take anyone to our secret nest?" he replies, taking a few jumps back, out of her reach. Sakura furrows her brows and stands on her feet, wobbly but determined. If she has to chase down this tiny jerk and convince him to take her with him, she will, consequences be damned. "Buuuuut," Maru adds, somersaulting backwards and landing on a different table. "That's not for me to decide."

He raises his front paws, a very fake sign of innocence. It doesn't stop her from limping towards his table, being very close to a painful fall a few times. The only thing that prevents the room from being completely dark is the flashlight, so it's very hard for her to see where she's going. She hops towards him, reaching out with her hands. Maru shakes his head and expertly jumps between her arms, onto her head and away again.

"I asked and the nest said yes, ah, no need to kill me," he grumbles. The rat pretends to dust off his fur with annoyance, back at the starting table. He looks at her as if she was acting childishly. Which, to be fair, she is, but Sakura's had enough of silly games and she isn't exactly known for having patience regarding bullshit.

"You could've told me that in the first place," she grunts, slowly walking back to her original chair.

"I would have, but these things were being loud, I didn't want to get killed because of you not hearing properly, ah… and they sing like crap," Maru comments. He sits down and leans against her backpack.

Sakura blinks, freezing before she can reach her seat. Her thoughts of planning how to deal with the next step of her rescue mission come to a halt, because something more urgent is tugging at the strings of her mind.

"...You can hear them too?" she asks, puzzled. Maru gives her a condescending look, nibbling on the tip of his bō.

"I forgot you humans have bad hearing… no wonder you also sing so bad," he comments, watching her start to look through the pockets of her coat, a sudden idea coming to her mind. "Of course I can hear them, they're screa-WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!" Maru shrieks, getting up on his hind paws and jumping away, landing in a defensive stance, away from her.

Sakura glances down at the crow feather, which she twirls between her fingers slowly. The rodent's eyes gleam in the dark, the tension in his body very different from his former demeanor.

"I don't know," she replies, musing. "What do you hear?" Sakura asks, looking back at the him. Maru's dark eyes are capable of reflecting his confusion and… fear?

"Damn crows. Lots of them. Now put that thing away!" he replies, an urgent edge to his even more high pitched voice.

Sakura nods and pockets the feather again, sitting down on her chair and thinking deeply. So it's not just her, with the Voices and this strange item… what could it mean, she has no clue, but at least she knows it's not only a product of her mind, for sure.

"...You made them quiet again," mutters Maru, once again on her table and looking at her warily. "You're a strange lass, you know that, Pinky?" he comments, shaking his head.

"What are these things you mentioned earlier?" she questions, looking back at the door and half expecting the strange figures to barge in out of the blue. "The voices," the girl adds.

Maru sighs, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Sometimes… when a lot of people die, or when they have really strong feelings… well, ah, they leave an imprint on the world. It's a mark of chakra, but usually it's too small for humans to feel it," he explains, wagging his tail idly. "We rats can hear them with our fine ears. And there's a lot of them in this place," Maru adds, gesturing to their surroundings.

"...They're inside the room?!" Sakura asks, panicked, grabbing the flashlight in an instant. Yet, there is still nothing besides them. The lounge is as empty as ever.

"Of course they are… they're everywhere," replies the rat, clicking his teeth as if she was particularly dumb. "As I said, they're just chakra imprints, ah. They're too weak to do anything, but they were being loud as hell for some reason. Something is making them react very violently."

' _Or someone,_ ' she thinks, deciding to keep her opinion to herself. It didn't escape her how they took shapes that made her feel particularly guilty. That was a personal attack. Perhaps these things can sense the imbalance of her chakra… would it be far-fetched if they don't like it and just want to get rid of her? After all, her chakra is a messed up anomaly as of now, so it would make some sense.

Maru's gaze is intently focused on her, as she ponders about what could prompt these things to attack her so savagely. The two times they appeared, it was within the fog, though the reasoning behind that is not very clear.

"I thought you were desperate to save your little friend, ah," he comments, twitching his whiskers with amusement. Sakura throws him a glare and grits her teeth. Now is no time to get lost in ruminations.

Misho… she's almost there. Just wait a bit longer. Forget all these strange things trying to chase her down. Screw Sasuke too, now that she's onto that.

' _Not literally,_ ' clarifies Inner-Sakura, seemingly horrified. The kunoichi feels herself pale at the thought, but opts for a shake of her head and the firm decision to focus solely on the mission.

Sakura makes sure all of her belongings are safely stored in her pockets and backpack, which she slings over her shoulder, giving the rat a nervous nod.

"I'm ready."

The rodent nods and jumps on her head again, and an instant later, the lounge vanishes in a swirl of smoke.

* * *

The first thing Sakura sees when the reverse summoning is over is a searing fireball being thrown towards her face. She ducks by instinct, but her movements are too slow. Maru jumps in front of her and parts the sphere with his staff, unfazed.

' _Do they welcome everyone like this?_ ' snaps Inner-Sakura, jaw hanging open in disbelief. Maybe it's a trap? No, if it was, Maru wouldn't have saved her.

"Twat! You nearly burned Pinky, you idiot!" shrieks the rodent, jumping towards the source of the attack and smacking it with his bō. Judging by the sound, it's someone's head.

Tentatively, Sakura gets up on her feet and takes a peek of her surroundings. Much to her chagrin, it's nearly impossible to see anything - judging by the echoes, this is a cave. It's damp and cold, fitting for rats, but knowing that someone just tried to kill her, she doesn't feel exactly safe. The only source of light comes from the faint glow of a few crystals, growing on the ceiling and floor like bizarre, geometrical trees.

"Miss-nin!"

A dark blur rushes towards her, tackling the girl and making her fall square on her butt, for the second time today. Two arms encircle her torso, squeezing her so tightly that she can barely breathe. A gasp escapes her lips, though she barely has any time to figure out what the heck is going on. One thing is clear - there is a single person that calls her like that.

"Can't… breathe…" she manages to choke out, sensing the grip relax minutely. She looks down to see a very familiar round face, dark eyes looking back at her as if she had appeared by pure miracle. It really is him. "Misho," mutters Sakura, returning his gesture with her own tight hug.

 _It's real._ Why does it feel so nice to be able to know that? Under the silky clothes he wears, she can feel the warmth of a real human. And not just some random person - a friend. He's alright. He's right here. A wave of shivers makes Sakura's body tremble with the greatest feeling she's had in a very long time. Misho sits on her lap, seemingly immersed in his own emotions, holding her so closely that Sakura can feel his faint heartbeat.

He's alive, and deep down, it's much more than she had expected.

"Are you alright?" the kid asks, letting go just enough to face her. Sakura nods minutely, a bleak smile crossing her lips. For some reason… the girl thought she would never see this boy again.

"Yeah…" she mutters. The effort to avoid crying is a bit too much. So many different emotions seem to be pooling inside her, clashing against each other fiercely.

"Ow!" Misho whimpers, when she smacks his head. "Why did you do that?" he cries, rubbing the pained area. Sakura looks at him sternly, not a trace of contrition in her features.

"What the hell were you thinking when you disappeared like that?" she scolds him, breaking the hug and crossing her arms over her chest. The kid looks at her, eyes filled with guilt.

"Well… I wanted to save you," he mutters, disarming her for a brief moment. Does he know about the conspiracy? Sakura raises a questioning eyebrow, silently hinting for more information. "Soma told me that old-hag-Keisho wanted to send you to the bad man," Misho continues, fiddling nervously.

 _What._ The _other_ kid knew about all of this? It makes some sense - he seemed to be working very hard in the hospital. It's likely that he overheard things...

"When?" she asks, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully.

"During the reunion, he told me everything. We knew for a while that something was… wrong. We just didn't know what," he adds, his gaze lowered.

Sakura nods, scanning him thoroughly. It's difficult to tell in the dark, but she worries that he is hurt. Maru breaks the atmosphere before she can ask, making a sudden appearance by landing with expertise on top of her head.

"You got your happy reunion, ah, save the rest for later. You need to speak with Big Fatty now, or I'll have to kill you," he comments, nonchalantly.

She wants to tell him to shove his words through some obscure hole of his rodent body, but decides that it's best to comply. Misho seems to think the same, because he goes quiet. Well, there goes the happy reunion...

"Was that why you tried to set me on fire?" grumbles Sakura, in a slightly bad mood. Whatever, Misho will get a proper greeting when all of this is over.

"Not really," he replies, tapping on her head with his tail. "But if I were you, I'd shut up and obey."

Misho takes the initiative and grabs her hand, walking fearlessly through the dark with the pinkette in tow. Is he sick? His palm is sweaty and hot, though by what she can tell of his movement, he isn't injured. Their steps echo throughout the cavern, the sound of distant water signaling the presence of underground rivers.

"What was that, then? People don't normally shoot fireballs at each other to say hi," she asks, nearly tripping on a particularly ill-shaped rock. This is a good chance to get information, so she isn't going to miss it.

"Ah, I'm not gonna explain. Big Fatty will," he replies with a snicker. "Though you should call Them Nezumi. And for your sake, talk like I do or you'll get in trouble," Maru adds, patting her head with greater force.

"And what's that?" she continues, batting a hand to try and get rid of the rodent. He merely hops over her, giving it a smack for the troubles, and lands again amid her hair.

"The King of the Rats, of course. It's a bit… difficult to describe Them, but you'll see."

Misho is oddly silent during their exchange, merely tugging at her to move forward. Thankfully, the lighting becomes better as they progress, and so Sakura gets a better glance of their surroundings (and the places where she has to step). This place is truly _massive_ \- the crystal structures have increased their span and glow impressively, and now she can see whole lakes and waterfalls flowing along the walls and ground.

The whole cave glimmers with reflected light, and at the furthest wall, she can see a glimpse of… sunlight? It falls upon what seems to be a huge mass of fur and tentacles. Closer inspection reveals hundreds of shiny eyes. They glow amongst the enormous body, as it writhes and splashes softly. 'Disgusting' is the first thing that comes to her mind, but for some reason she feels this won't be the end of her interaction with that _thing_.

An orange flare erupts from somewhere near her, making Sakura jump to the side defensively, as she pulls Misho behind her. The biggest salamander she has ever seen is barfing an impressive amount of fire into the air. Scattered around the cave, many others follow. They aren't attacking, instead projecting the blazing fire towards the ceiling. In the distance, the girl can hear something that sounds very much like a shriek.

"Nezumi have noticed you," mumbles Maru. "Walk towards Them carefully. Stop when I tell you to."

'Like hell I am getting close to that thing!' she wants to say, horrified. Instead, Sakura nods and gulps as quietly as possible. Misho seems unfazed by the display, probably because he has seen it before.

Her feet splash on the water, which is thankfully warm, though she doesn't want to know what things might be in there. It's only knee high, but she hopes it won't get much deeper. By now, the adrenaline has completely worn off, and she feels a bit too tired. The umbrella is quite useful for getting a hold on the slimy ground of the lake, but her steps get heavier by the moment.

The closer she gets to the thing that Maru calls Nezumi, the more she feels like all she wants is to run the hell away from it. What she mistook for tentacles are the lengthy tails of many, many rats. They're intertwined to the point where it's hard to tell them apart from each other. She doesn't even want to know what is keeping them together.

"Nezumi, I've brought Sakura to your great Nest." Maru's voice still keeps a mocking tone to it, though it's so subtle that it could be just her imagination.

"Come closer," Nezumi says… say? Sakura isn't sure, but every single fibre in her body wants to do the exact opposite. The words are spoken by a few hundred, dissonant-pitched voices, that somehow manage to speak at the same time.

Misho lets go of her hand and she feels Maru jump off from her head. Tentatively, she takes the final steps towards the mass of fur and flesh. A few of the tails extend towards her, wrapping themselves around Sakura's figure. If this is an attack, there is no way she will be able to escape now. Something, however, tells her there is no danger, even if it's definitely an unsavory experience.

A white sphere of light appears on the tip of one of the tails, in front of her eyes. It seems to be condensed smoke or fog, swirling slowly and steadily. It engulfs the world around her, pulling her into a strange realm. Sakura looks around, but the tentacle-tails are gone, and so is the cave. This place is very familiar, however, even though she never got to see it in detail.

_It's like a pretty dream. Sakura looks up at the blue, bottomless sky - it's a radiant summer day, the lazy clouds sailing an endless ocean, as she lies back and stares. The gentle breeze makes the grass dance in unpredictable waves, rustling her clothes and playing with strands of her pink hair._

Sakura rises, sitting on the lush sheet of plant life and looking around in confusion. What is this? It looks so achingly familiar to Konoha, to home, that she feels a slight tug at her heartstrings. The smell of the season's flourishing vegetation fills the air, insects buzzing from place to place idly. What kind of genjutsu is this?

"This is your mindscape," explains a slightly familiar voice, coming from somewhere nearby.

The girl turns her head around, to find a younger version of herself, aged perhaps twelve or thirteen. Her clone's hair is still long, but she wears a red ribbon instead of a headband, and a flowery, light summer dress.

"Who are you?" she asks, looking down at the kid in confusion. The other merely smirks, tilting her head to the side. "...Inner me?"

"Yup! And girl, you really need to take a shower," laughs Inner-Sakura, grinning widely.


	13. Within a Dream | Arc II: Runaway

_Just because it’s in your head, it doesn’t mean it’s not real._

Eyes narrowed, Sakura glares at the strange copy of herself. What's going on? One moment she was in the dark cave, and now she's somewhere else, completely different. A place she has only seen in dreams and nightmares. Did she lose consciousness? It's impossible to tell… the last memory before this is the ball of light. Genjutsu, it has to be that. Why, though…

At first glance, there is no immediate danger, but that could change in an instant. None of this is real, of that she is certain. What to do, though? Perhaps she's rushing to the wrong conclusion, but Sakura isn't willing to take any risks. She turns to Inner-Sakura - the other girl is merely a watcher of her troubled thoughts. She balances herself on the balls of her feet with the most idle air, waiting.

"Why am I here?" asks Sakura, her body positioned in a defensive stance, just in case.

The other girl shrugs casually. She takes a few deep breaths, closing her eyes and basking in the atmosphere of the summer: the warmth of the sun and the refreshing breeze, the lively yet peaceful ambience. It's so real, that the girl has almost forgotten why she is here in the first place. It would be easy to lose track of her thoughts. In fact, it's difficult to keep her objectives in mind.

"I don't know why did that disgusting pile of rats bring you here," replies Inner-Sakura, nose wrinkled, as if she smelled something bad. "Though I'm sure mere words won't convince you of that."

Sakura shakes her head, thoughtful. None of her previous illusions were so clear, except… at the battlefield, when she was dying. And even then, they weren't as real as this one.

"How about we make a deal?" Inner-Sakura proposes, smirking smugly, as if she knew something the other girl doesn't. "You can ask me anything you want, and I'll tell you whatever I know. Maybe then I can convince you I'm on your side!" she chirps, tilting her head to the side.

"How do I know you won't attack me?"

Inner-Sakura smiles with such an innocent air that it's almost adorable.

"Dummy! Why do you care? This is just an illusion anyway. Stop being so obtuse and do what you can to learn useful stuff!" she reprimands, clicking her tongue.

Sakura blinks. Well, it's a fair point. Trusting people that aren't real is probably not a bright idea, but for now, there isn't anything else to be done. And something about the other girl feels… familiar. As if it was someone she'd known for a very long time.

"So, hum…" Sakura looks at her surroundings, as if looking for help. "Where do I begin," she continues, narrowing her eyes again. Inner-Sakura giggles, waving a hand dismissively. Right… her inner self seems to have adopted a strange personality, a mix between sassy and childish. This is going to be fun, isn't it?

"Well, normally when you meet a lady, you ask for her name. I think it's a good start," offers the other girl. She plops down on the grass with the most casual air and taps the ground next to her, an invitation that Sakura accepts reluctantly. "So, why don't you talk? Am I _that_ impressive?" the clone jokes, grinning. Sakura rolls her eyes at her antics. Oh, boy. _Definitely_ fun.

"Well… since you're me, you should know what I want to find out first," replies Sakura, taking the route of 'work smarter, not harder'. Lee wouldn't approve of that, but hey, she feels like there has been enough confusion for the time being. Maybe if she gets the other girl to talk, there will be a way to figure out what's all this about.

Inner-Sakura chuckles. Is this how her voice sounds like? It's… soft, yet full of vivacity. Probably not the sort of voice that would make a good singer, now that she thinks about it, but it's relaxing. Sakura reminds herself to stay alert, but her mind keeps drifting off.

"Wouldn't expect any less of you," the clone comments. She picks up a flower and twirls it between her fingers, focusing her gaze on it. Sakura understands immediately, with a little surprise, that her inner self is copying her focusing method. With a flower, instead of a feather. "You can call me Sachi, by the way. I'm part of you, don't worry, but we aren't exactly the same. And if I have a different name, it will make things less confusing."

"I never really thought about it, but… what _are_ you?" Sachi tilts her head to the side, as if she had pondered the answer to the question many times before.

"I'm not sure. I don't really know why am I here, if I'm completely honest," she explains, sticking out her tongue sheepishly. "I think I'm a counter to your worst weakness," Sachi adds with a shrug, faking an ominous tone. "No offense, but well, you know, you're kinda sensitive. I take all these thoughts and feelings you can't or don't want to deal with, and keep them somewhere safe. That way you don't get stuck on them."

A distant memory resurfaces in Sakura's mind: her inner self, fighting off Ino's mind control technique in the Chūnin Exams. Overtime, she started to be more open, speaking up more often. The image of Sachi started to fade as time went on, even though from time to time it popped up to remind her it still existed.

"Look at this place," Sachi adds, momentarily gesturing to their surroundings. "It's filled with all these things. Your dreams, your fears, your memories - it's all here. The reason it's so lively is because on the outside, you've been reduced to almost nothing, since you had to block so much stuff off. It's built to look like the place where you would be at most peace, obviously."

Sakura nods quietly, musing over this information. It does make some sense. Perhaps Nezumi brought her here to communicate with her, but so far there hasn't been a single hint of that. She must be here for a reason… perhaps her inner self can help with that.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Sachi offers, jumping up to her feet before she can receive an answer. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna kidnap you," she adds, when Sakura looks at her suspiciously.

Shrugging, the kunoichi gets up on her feet. They start a slow walk through the meadow, as Sakura focuses her mind on scanning her surroundings. First, she's more or less the same height as Sachi… which means she, too, must look younger. Judging by the appearance of her clothes and the headband she wears, she can't be much more old than her inner self.

Another thing she belatedly realises: her own legs are just fine. In fact, her whole body is devoid of injury or pain. Even the black tendrils are gone, and with them the ever present feeling of cold-burn. It feels… nice. But she can't allow herself to be too distracted. Things might go sour in an instant.

"You're not alone," Sachi says, suddenly. Sakura turns her head towards her - lost in her ruminations, she spaced out. Again. "I just figured you should know that," she continues, the cheerful tone in her voice veiled by seriousness.

"What?" Sakura blinks, surprised by the change in the other girl's demeanor. Sachi shakes her head, and then a grin grows on her lips, her eyes glimmering with mirth.

"I'm just saying, there are some people you might wanna see," she replies, crossing her hands behind her head.

"Wait, _wha-_ "

Sachi covers her mouth with a quick hand before she can continue, and then winks.

"Yo, guys, c'mere!" she hollers, causing the other pinkette to flinch, startled.

A rapid set of steps closes in towards them, but it's too fast for Sakura to turn around in time. She is cleanly tackled to the ground in what has to be history's tightest hug. Caught by surprise, the girl counters by hitting her attacker with her elbow. The arms around her disappear immediately, as the newcomer lets out a pained yelp.

She jumps up to her feet and away from the other two people. It was a trap, she should have known… how does one break an illusion like this one? Oh god, don't panic, don't panic! Sakura's mind is flooded with many different thoughts of how to avoid getting hit again, but it all comes to a halt when she hears a very familiar voice.

"OW! Why the heck did you do that, Sakura-chan?"

Sachi literally rolls on the floor, her laughter almost maniacal. She mocks the unfortunate blond, who doubles over, rubbing his belly. Sakura is caught staring at him, eyes wide in surprise and disbelief. She jumped into a defensive stance as soon as she freed herself, but now she is frozen in place, merely staring.

"Naruto?" she asks, blinking a few times, just to make sure he's really there.

"Who else would get cock-blocked so pathetically?" replies Sachi, wiping tears from her eyes. For a brief instant, Sakura questions when did her inner self become such a prick. Though, to be fair… she has a point.

The pinkette shakes her head and takes a hesitant step toward the fox boy, who raises his gaze to meet hers. He looks exactly like the last time she 'saw' him, back at the pottery shop. He straightens up and lets his arms fall to the sides, as if he was considering another hug attempt.

Sakura reaches out for him, her fingers brushing his face softly. Warm and so _real_ that her stomach seemingly does a few flips. The trademark Naruto grin is plastered on his face. Time stops, because there are so many things she wants to say, so many apologies that had nowhere to go, so many words… She's simply frozen in place.

In her worst nightmares, Sakura is always unable to see or touch the people she lost in the war. They fade in and out of the darkness, just to haunt and mock her. This is so like him, that even though she should feel wary, all she can do is stare.

"And here I thought you were my rival for Sasuke-kun's affections. Guess not!"

The pinkette snaps out of it at the sound of a new voice, also familiar. Ino walks leisurely towards them, looking at her smugly. It's a childish reaction, but Sakura feels herself flush quite colorfully. She draws her hand back as if it had been burned. Naruto pouts, and the blonde sticks out her tongue at him.

"What… the hell is going on?" Sakura stutters, as she turns towards her inner self. Sachi has been watching them quietly - or, more accurately, _her_. There is a glint of careful calculation in her eyes, even as she shrugs once more.

"Told you, this place is filled with memories," she replies, with an air too casual for the situation.

Sakura shakes her head, a frown on her lips. This is getting a tad too weird - it's of utmost importance that she doesn't get any more distracted.

"You didn't tell her?" protests Ino, arms crossed over her chest.

Sachi raises her hands defensively, both of the girls engaged into a contest of glares.

"I was gonna do that, but how the heck am I supposed to bring it up without looking like a weirdo? You're her friends, you should help too," she responds, sticking her tongue out and putting her hands on her hips.

They look like they're going to argue for a very long time. Sakura fakes a cough to catch their attention, gaining herself three intrigued stares.

" _I_ ask the questions here," she states, her own gaze falling upon Sachi.

The second pinkette smirks with pride, in turn turning her eyes to Naruto and Ino, as if daring them to protest. They don't, though it's obvious they want to.

"Well, why are Naruto and Ino here? I thought this was my mindscape," Sakura proceeds, her tone slightly sceptical.

"That's a very long story," mutters Sachi, frowning.

"We have time, don't we?" Sakura sits down right where she stands, patting the ground next to her with a hand. Her doppelgänger rolls her eyes, a half smile creeping up on her face.

The rest of them sit down around Sakura, and she doesn't miss how uncomfortable they look.

"Let's sum it up really quickly. They aren't a part of your mind. Well, they are, but it's not the same as me," Sachi explains, gesturing to the other two.

"That would be terrifying," gulps Naruto. Ino slaps the back of his head and he goes quiet.

"You just can't process this level of intelligence," growls Sachi, looking like she's considering the option of beating him up. "Anyway, what I mean is that sometimes, chakra can leave an imprint if it's released in large or concentrated quantity. And to put it bluntly: when Sasuke-kun went nuts, there was a _lot_ of that involved."

"What does he have to do with this?" asks Sakura, her mind focused on _not_ thinking about him too much. That wouldn't do any good right now.

"Everything, pretty much. Think for a moment about how many people died so suddenly. All of that chakra, all these souls, suddenly set free. That leaves one hell of a mark-"

"Stop that!" Ino intervenes, her eyes filled with worry and focused on Sakura. "You have no tact at all."

 _Breathe_. Sakura closes her eyes and steers her mind towards the sensation of the sunlight's warmth on her skin. Her fingers close around a few strands of grass, her chest heaving only slightly faster than usual.

"Forehead?" Ino whispers, her voice just a tad softer.

The pinkette opens her eyes, finding the blonde squatted down in front of her. She looks worried… caring. Sakura takes a peek to the side - Naruto also watches her intently, ready to smother her to death if it helps.

"I'm fine, Ino-pig" she replies, her smile not very convincing. The Yamanaka grins and pokes Sakura's forehead playfully.

Sachi clicks her tongue, gaining herself a stare from the two blondes. She looks almost annoyed, though the kunoichi has no clue why.

"He marked your body and mind, remember?" she cuts in. "Do you really think Sasuke-kun would be the type to just torture and rape you, and be done with it? I don't think he even understands the concept of sexual pleasure," Sachi snorts, wrinkling her nose. "Bet you he hasn't gotten laid in these three years!"

Sakura's jaw is left hanging open, disbelief and shock in her eyes. What...

"What's wrong with you?!" snaps Naruto, jumping up to his feet and towering over Sachi menacingly. She gives him a derisive scowl. "You don't have to be so mean to Sakura-chan!"

_The gesture caught him off-guard. Regardless, he didn't swat her hand away. Her fingers were broken and her gaze blurred by blood - yet her palm was still placed on top of his heart. A steady, quick heartbeat reverberated beneath the skin. She could feel his shallow breath. It was warm._

"You don't know shit about her!" snaps Sachi, standing up and hitting his chest with an accusative finger. "Sooner or later, she needs to accept that you're all _dead_ and Sasuke-kun is crazy! Otherwise, she'll just die! You don't want her to, do you?"

" _W-why?" Her eyes were completely dry. The battle and the massacre were over, but he was still there, merely staring at the result of his job. She wasn't dead, but it was as if her inner fire had been put out. There was no pain… she simply didn't want to die without knowing_ why _._

"You're not helping! We were supposed to just tell her about why we're here, not remind her about… about _that._ " Ino's voice wavers ever so slightly, her eyes clouding over with tears.

" _Because I have to." She hadn't expected a reply. Her eyes widened only a fraction of an inch, and she waited for a better explanation. His hand stopped before it could graze her skin. It was close, making her nervous. But he didn't touch her. For an instant, it looked like he was considering, but then he shook his head._

"She has to know," Sachi replies, evenly. For the first time, she looks… sad. Resigned.

_He looked angry, and turned around to leave, his body quivering with rage. Sakura flinched, but he didn't attack._

"Not like this."

" _Because killing you would be no fun," he continued, looking over his shoulder briefly. The sole eye she could see was still bleeding, making her hands twitch. She still wanted to heal that… It was just an impulse. And it made her feel ashamed, because she shouldn't feel that._

"It's too soon, Sachi."

_He was gone now, and silence was her only company. Not a single soul was left alive. The landscape had been painted with crimson. She was in a pool of blood, which wasn't entirely hers. The fog rolled in and so did the crows, festering on the bodies of the dead. Their eyes shone bright red, the color of the Sharingan. It made her uneasy to look at them. Would it hurt to die?_

"You underestimate her."

 _One of them landed on top of her almost bare chest. She didn't even have the strength to slap the bird away. So this is how it felt... Sakura closed her eyes, awaiting the pecks on her wounds, but they never came. She was so numb that she probably wouldn't notice anyway. But when she lifted her eyelids again, she saw something completely different than what she expected_.

"...Forehead-girl?"

_Her body was moving on its own volition. The crows were hopping around her, following her jerky movements. Then, the shadows started appearing. They whispered terrifying things, and she feared they would engulf her forever. They grew in size, getting closer and closer._

"She'll be alright."

_Then, they started to take familiar shapes. The crows kept them away, as she slowly stumbled her way towards the small cave. She felt like a puppet, controlled by inexpert hands. Beyond the small entrance of the cave, she could see the bright glimmer of the summer sun… the lush grass and trees, beckoning. And past that, far away, the distant buildings of Konoha were outlined against the landscape. It was safety. With the last of her strength, she helped the strange force that moved her, to reach it._

"Holy…"

_Naruto and Ino were cheering for her, their arms open, welcoming. She had to get to them… to her friends. The crows started to dissolve into clouds of feathers, and she could feel the shadows tugging at her, but she refused to give up. And at last, she stumbled onto the grass, completely devoid of energy. The birds' caws had dissolved into the tang of bells. So beautiful…_

Sakura's eyes open. Ino and Naruto are staring at her, shocked. Sachi smiles. Around them, the landscape has changed. It isn't summer anymore: dark fog envelops the group. The grass has withered and died, and the trees are burning with black fire. Only a small area around them is still green and lively. Outside, the wind carries crow feathers and the sound of the bells.

"You're ghosts," Sakura mutters, meeting their gazes without a trace of fear. The pinkette takes deep, slow breaths. When she exhales, the area of light around them extends a bit further, pushing back the darkness. "That's what you wanted to tell me, right? I'm not alone," she adds, focusing on Sachi.

Her inner self nods, throwing a smug glance at the fox boy and the Yamanaka. As if she'd just won a bet. How petty and childish… It's almost funny.

It's a Manifestation of Will. When all these people died, in a way so brutal and sudden, the air was filled with their life energy. They had no time to adjust to the change. It left an imprint on her. In a way… they're still alive.

"Some of them were thinking about you when they died. Their last thoughts were of worry, care and love. For you. To be with you, to protect you. And here they are," Sachi comments, gesturing towards Naruto and Ino. "If it makes you feel less dumb, it took me a while to figure that one out."

"How many people?" Sakura asks, though she doesn't really want to know the answer.

"No clue. You've blocked off so much stuff that we don't know. That was the _entire_ point of trying to trigger memories," replies Sachi, with an innocent shrug. Sakura doesn't miss the glares of Ino and Naruto. She placates them with the most inconspicuous, disarming smile. "What? It worked, didn't it?"

Sakura looks around - the darkness has been pushed back quite far away, but it's still there. She knows the shadows are lurking within it. It's undeniable… Sasuke killed all these people, and she watched them die, unable to do anything. They're dead. Naruto and Ino are just two of many.

It's not fair. It shouldn't have ended up like this. Just when it looked like the world was close to reaching unity and peace… And now, they're dead. What about the people back at Konoha? What will happen to the rest of the world?

_Sasuke… why?_

"Think about it this way, Sakura-chan," Naruto cuts in, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling reassuringly. "We will be with you forever. You're not going to be alone ever again. You can't change the past, but you can change your fate, believe it!" he exclaims, fisting upwards.

Ino shakes her head, grinning as she pulls Sakura into a hug. Naruto joins them in, and the pinkette merely closes her eyes, basking in the moment.

"We've got your back, Forehead," she laughs. "Now go out there and show the world what's a blooming cherry blossom worth!"

Sakura finds herself returning their smiles and hugs. They're right. The fight is far from over… so there is still time to get her revenge. Wait, no, better to not think like Sasuke. _That_ didn't go well. She finds herself giggling at the thought, for some reason.

"Thank you."

"You guys are going to make me throw up sparkly rainbows," protests Sachi, rolling her eyes. "We need to make a deal, though."

They finally pull apart, and the three reunited friends stand next to each other, facing Sakura's inner self. Sachi paces back and forth, hands intertwined behind her back. She seems thoughtful.

"Okay, you believe that we're real," she mutters, throwing a side glance at Sakura. The pinkette nods, slowly. "Now we need a plan. You and I both know that your mental state is crap. We need an objective, so you won't go completely crazy."

"Sasuke-kun is after her, isn't he? And he's trying to be an evil overlord," Ino offers.

"How about we _don't_ suicide just yet?" retorts Sachi, with a frown.

"I don't want her to fight him! I was suggesting finding a place to hide and make a better plan. Find survivors and see if there's anything she can do."

"You could find Lee and see if he can teach you to get rid of these weird marks on your skin. The seal or whatever," comments Naruto. "Then you'll be able to actually kick some ass!"

It looks like another argument is about to break out, so Sakura clears her throat, as casually as possible.

"I want to get Misho back to his home," she replies, leaving no chance for rebuttal. "Then I'll… I'll go to Konoha." Sakura looks up at them, resolution reflected in her eyes.

" _WHAT?!_ "

Sachi shakes her head, muttering something about idiocy. The kunoichi, however, doesn't show any sign of wavering in her decision.

"The only people I have left… my only family… if they're alive, they're in Konoha. I can't leave them alone, knowing Sasuke is there. Maybe I can convince him to let me stay-" she explains, fiddling nervously.

"He'll kill you!" Ino's voice is full of disbelieving horror. Sakura stands her searching gaze without batting an eye.

"He won't," replies Sachi, making all of them snap their heads back to them. "You have a thing for masochist plans, huh?" she mutters, evaluating the idea. "You do know that if he gets his hands on you, all of this might backfire very, very badly. I doubt he's looking for you out of the kindness of his heart," she snorts.

"I know. But it's the only thing I can do."

Just like she became a medic-nin. Though some people said, jokingly, that it was because she likes to beat the crap out of certain people (and having them die wouldn't be nice)... it's the same kind of reasoning. Someone has to stay back and take care of the rest. And right now, there isn't anyone strong enough to stand between Sasuke and Konoha. Hell, he managed to fight his way up to the position of Hokage.

But maybe she can offer something in exchange for a pardon… It's worth a shot.

"Let's make a deal," offers Sachi, silencing Naruto and Ino's protests. "You can say whatever you want about Konoha, but they're still a _ninja_ village. I'm sure they'll be able to take care of themselves."

Sakura opens her mouth to argue, but her inner self continues talking.

"Stop thinking about the near future, dammit! You always work towards solving things one at the time, and that's really nice, but you have to think about the long term consequences. If the plan goes wrong and Sasuke decides to get rid of us, who'll be left to protect Konoha if he decides he wants to wipe it off the map?"

The kunoichi's eyes widen significantly. She is almost certain she knows where this is going - after all, Sachi is still a secondary piece of her mind. She's technically arguing with herself as of now.

"...Defeating him is impossible," she mutters, lowering her gaze. The only person who had a shot at that was Naruto, and all that's left of him is an imprint in her mind.

"He might be very damn powerful, but he's still human. And _exactly_ because he's so tough, we should make sure that when we step into Konoha, we'll be ready to at least survive and escape. If we went there right now, we'd have no chance at all. We could get stronger _and_ find allies." Sachi glances at the other two present people. "But right now, we have to lie low. And then we'll go back to Konoha and teach him who's boss. Deal?" she finishes, offering her hand.

* * *

The tentacle-tails pull away from her, and she falls to the ground. Only the kid's quick reaction manages to stop her from hitting the ground. Her whole body has gone numb, her limbs unresponsive.

"Woah! Are you alright?"

Misho holds Sakura up, checking quickly to see if there is any blatantly obvious damage. She can feel his small hands tremble when they reach her legs. He probably hadn't noticed before.

"What happened?" he asks, though she knows the question is not for her. It's so cold here…

"Nezumi rejected her, ah."

"Why?"

"Nezumi have the power of seeing into other creatures' hearts, ah. They call it the Truth-seeing Thousand Tails. Rats have a mastery of hiding in the edge between true and fake, ah… but the only lies we don't like, are the ones to ourselves. Pinky doesn't accept herself."

"What! She's awesome, she is… oh."

"Crying. She's still awake, ah. I'll help you move her to a better place. She will be healed, like you were, and then we'll let you go. You'll be her problem, not ours… thank Nezumi for that."

"Are you okay, miss-nin?" the kid asks, sounding truly concerned. Sakura can vaguely feel his fingers wiping off her tears.

She lifts her eyelids (when did they become so heavy?), her eyes meeting with his and Maru's. The little rat is on top of the boy's head, looking at her curiously.

"No," she mutters. "I said no when she asked."


	14. Shadows of Beauty | Arc II: Runaway

_Nothing in this world exists away from darkness._

Sakura's eyes open slowly, weighed down by tiredness and a soft tinge of fear. Yet the only thing she can see is the faint glow of the cave's crystals, drawing strange, dancing shadows on the walls and ceiling. Combined with the reflection of the underground water, it makes a strange spectacle.

Her back rests against a bundle of cloth - judging by its softness, it's from the bedroll she borrowed from the Shira household. At least, that's something familiar.

"Do you think she'll get better soon?"

Misho's voice echoes through the cave in a hushed tone, but he can't be far away. By pure instinct, Sakura hurriedly closes her eyes. It's a ninja thing - pretend to be asleep to fool enemies.

' _But he isn't an enemy,_ ' she scolds herself. Still, she doesn't open them.

"That depends on her, ah," replies Maru. The sound comes from a bit to the right, not further than three meters. There's a few moments of silence, and then the rodent continues. "Think about it this way, Twat: we're all born with inner demons. I'm not saying they're your traditional _bad_ , ah - some people's are things like empathy or love. They're things that mess us up. Some accept them, but most don't. Your dear Pinky is one of the latter, ah."

"Is that what she meant with ' _I said no when she asked_ '?"

She didn't - she merely fled. The last thing she remembers is leaving her mindscape in a hurry. She feels ashamed to admit that she lost control - for a split second, she visualised herself standing up to Sasuke directly, as her inner self proposed.

The thoughts subsequent defeat and its consequences sent her mind reeling into panic, and before she knew it, the summer landscape and her friends were gone. It was cold and damp, and she could hear the echoes of voices throughout the rats' cave. Everything went dark right afterward, and she can't remember what happened then.

"Sort of. She bottles up a lot of things instead of dealing with them, ah. I'm gonna bet she had it easy as a kid and never learned to deal with real problems."

_Shut up. You don't know anything about me._

_But doesn't he have a point?_

_So foolishly coward._

_SHUT UP!_

_Fine._

The pink-haired kunoichi's body trembles ever so slightly, her hands fisted so hard that she can feel her nails digging into her palms. What does that stupid rat know about her anyway? Who is he to judge her without a clue about how her life is?

 _Or used to be_.

"Really? I think she's stronger than you give her credit for." Gods bless Misho. At least someone is on her side. "She survived a horrible massacre too. I've seen a bunch of other people who went through that..." He goes quiet, his voice melting into a whisper. "And most of them are totally mad."

Sakura feels uneasy, because for a moment it's difficult to tell if he's talking about her or Sasuke. Is there a difference, anyway? The only reason she hasn't gone on a rampage is because she isn't hell-bent on revenge like he is. No, in fact running away from him is the prominent thing in her mind. Which in turn, makes her a coward. Perhaps it's better this way.

A strange sound echoes throughout the cave. After the initial startle, she notices it's the rat's voice. It sounds like laughter.

"Wake up, Twat. She's crazy, ah. The sooner you realise, the better."

_I'm not._

_You are._

_I'M NOT!_

Silence. Misho doesn't respond and Maru doesn't bother to continue with his thoughts. Is this how they see her? Just a poor girl who lost her mind? It doesn't match up to the image of herself. Sakura knows she'd beat the crap out of anyone who crossed her. She can heal without hand seals. She was one of the last people with chakra to spare, by the end of the war. She can break the ground with a mere punch…

In a flash, a memory comes to her mind: her own body, sprawled amid a pool of water and blood, looking scarred and broken.

_Like she's barely holding it together. So tired and weak, almost like a child. It's both sad and pathetic, so different from the strong person she trained herself to be. Not a shinobi, but just a seventeen year old girl that barely survived a war and a massacre._

"Your girl has a lot of potential, but if it's not used, it will all go to waste, ah," comments Maru, breaking the spell. Sakura blinks - still in the cave. Not back in Yu. _Just the cave_. "You can lie to everybody, but not yourself. That's one of the moral codes of us rats, ah, and we don't have many of these."

"Why do you say that now?"

"Because I like her, ah. And I like you, too. You're both a bit stupid and you lie to yourselves about other people, ah, and you Twat are greedy sometimes… but you're just like us rats, even if your bodies aren't. You care more about others' safety, than your own. That's why I'm still here and not doing fun stuff," the rat grumbles.

His voice doesn't sound any different from before - what he's saying is... genuine, just like his usual annoyance and smug demeanor. It sounds strange to hear it from him, but he doesn't have a reason to lie, does he?

"Really?" Misho sounds surprised, almost sceptical. He probably hasn't heard many compliments from the rat, though judging by the ease with which they talk, she assumes they've known each other for a while.

"You really are a twat, ah. Of course not, I say that because she's awake and listening to us."

 _Oh snap._ Well, there go the plans for gathering information discreetly - apparently the rat either saw or heard her wake up. Stupid, smug little bastard… For how long has he known?

"Miss-nin!" chirps Misho, jumping to her side. Even with the dim light, Sakura can see his big grin. "You alright?"

Sakura props herself up, shakily, giving him a half hearted nod. Her backpack is behind her head, so she leans against it and takes a better look at her surroundings. It's just a small room within the cave, mostly empty. The only things in it are the ones she took to get to Shimo.

He hands her some of the food she also brought, alongside a canteen with water. It feels like it has been an eternity since she last ate, but she forces herself to eat and drink slowly. Maru finally gives the two of them some rest by disappearing in a puff of smoke without explanation. The moment the rat is gone, Misho tackles her in another rib-crushing hug, and this time she doesn't hesitate to respond.

"I've been so worried."

They look at each other with confusion, having spoken the same words, at the same time. Sakura smirks slightly.

"Normally I'd beat the crap out of you for scaring me like that," she mutters, glaring at him dangerously. The kid seemingly shrinks. "But I don't think I can do that right now."

"I'm sorry."

_Sorry._

Sakura shakes her head, ruffling his hair distractedly. A myriad of thoughts crosses her mind, alongside many possible, scolding responses. Yet she says none of them, feeling slightly numb out of the blue.

"I wanted to save you, and you ended up saving me," adds the kid, sitting beside her, gaze lowered. She merely nods, and lets him explain what happened since he left Yugakure.

Just like Sakura guessed, the summoning didn't happen flawlessly. He ended up with chakra exhaustion, in a cave deep underground. And what's even better - he didn't even end up with the rats. His affinity is towards the salamanders, though the rodents immediately found him and decided to help him out.

"They say I have the greed of a power-hungry dragon," he pouts. "But the heart of a rat. I thought my summon would be cooler…"

According to Maru, rats hide in the lies and the background, where no one looks, to make sure none of the beloved is ever left behind or hurt. That fits Misho almost flawlessly. They saw him as one of their own, and saved him.

"And since then I can use a lot more fire… but I can't really control it," he admits, a bright, flaming sphere lighting up on his hand as a demonstration. Its dancing light is almost painful to look at, but it lets Sakura get a closer look at her friend.

She doesn't like what she sees - he looks sick, a bit too pale. Part of his clothes have burned off and his skin has also been grazed by fire. His eyes, though… They're completely _black_. They were dark before, but now they seem to be made of darkness without a bottom. There's no light in them, no reflection, nothing. They're empty.

"What happened to your eyes?!" she exclaims, barely resisting the urge to hold his head to get a closer look.

The kid bites his lower lip and directs his gaze to the dancing flames of his hand. They seem to be moving a bit less steadily.

"When the rats healed me, they didn't really know how to work on humans. It messed up my chakra. So, hum… I'm fine, really. Just trying to get adjusted," he explains, not very convincing. "Besides! I can use more powerful jutsu now. Not well, but I can."

Sceptical, Sakura narrows her eyes and inspects his face for signs of further injury. His dark irises trace the movement of her fingers flawlessly, and none of the burn marks reach past second degree.

Hmphing, she reluctantly lets it slip, but only after he swears on his mother (twice) that there aren't any worse injuries. His body temperature is also a bit higher than it should be, though that could just be a slight fever.

"So why exactly are you still here? I thought you were hurt or in trouble," she mutters, after a little while of chatting.

It's strange to be actually talking with another person, though her thoughts do drift away from time to time. Regardless, she's focused enough to keep up with the conversation, and it's a very welcome relief after… well, pretty much everything that has been happening in the last days. It does feel like an eternity.

"I asked them, actually, but they said if they use their chakra on me again, things might get nasty. They've been teaching me to control mine better, so I can go back on my own. I guess it's not really necessary now."

 _About that…_ Sakura's masterplan was to get to Misho - in her hurry, she barely thought about how to get back. The only reason she was able to summon something without having very bad chakra problems is that rats are very small and don't require much energy.

She had some massively good luck when she stumbled upon the archives of the man whose contract and blood she used, too - he had been doing research for a long time, and was somewhat well-known within Yu, so it wasn't hard to find references to his documents.

The seal had been designed to be used by nearly anyone, though the special connoction the man made to use instead of blood was nowhere to be found, so she had to use his.

 _Focus._ While it was easy to get here, getting out isn't so much. Neither she nor Misho are able to properly use reverse-summoning. If only she could access her Yin seal properly… perhaps there would be a chance of calling Katsuyu. Without a proper connection, summoning the slug is nearly impossible - she's connected to the seal itself.

It would be possible to use the rat contract to get back to Shimogakure… but having to deal with healing legs and Misho would slow them down too much. If they got caught in a snowstorm, death would be nearly unavoidable.

Misho looks at her expectantly, perceiving her cavilations. He's probably had to deal with sudden silences many times before, so Sakura merely gives herself time to think. Maybe someone in Yu has a contract with the rats? They don't seem to be affiliated with the village… perhaps there's a way to sneak Misho in. She'll think about how to get _out_ later.

"By the way, the rats are healing your legs too," the kid comments. Sakura looks at him, tilting her head to the side. He probably said that because he knows she needs a new plan. "Unlike me, you aren't an emergency, so they'll numb down your nerves and chakra system. That's what Maru told me, at least. It should take about two days for you to be able to walk."

"That changes things," the pinkette replies. He nods in response. "Well, until then, do you want to practice chakra control with me?"

Misho takes the offer immediately.

* * *

A lonely bell rings somewhere in the distance, starting a song that speaks of melancholy and impending doom. Yet everything around the pink-haired kunoichi is a mere black void. She calls endlessly for Naruto and Ino, and even Sachi, but no one responds to her call. The twangs rise in crescendo, but she is still blind and alone.

A familiar voice rises in the dark. Sakura wants to call out for Misho's name, but her lips won't respond to her. It's muffled and distant, yet she knows he is very close. It feels nice to know he hasn't left, but at the same time, she worries for his safety.

She wants to tell him to go away, because she can't defend herself, even less him. He's in danger. Sasuke could be here at any time. The thought triggers a new happenstance: a dream. In the empty space, no one can hear her scream.

It always starts with a purple flash. Then she can't move, she can't escape, and the screams fill the air and her ears and _oh gods he's killing all of them_. And then he comes for her. She wakes up shivering, covered in cold sweat and looking around, terrified. But there's no one, and it's dark and empty again. The cycle happens countless times, so many that she isn't really sure when it began.

It's so much worse than before, because now all these nightmares are made out of memories. All of it has happened… and certain things could happen again. The mere thought makes her stomach churn with unease. And the consideration of a repetition simply sends her mind reeling into fully fledged terror.

The first time it happened, she could barely breathe, her heart feeling like it was going to explode out of pure overbeating. Never before had she been conscious enough to realise it was a panic attack. Misho was there in an instant, holding her hands quietly. He did it with ease, as if it wasn't the first time.

It felt natural. She could feel the warmth of his hands, even if the rest of her body was numb. She couldn't even tell what was up and down. But he was there. She wasn't alone, at least once the strange dream was over.

It wasn't the last time - such visions keep happening, mostly when the rats are treating her. No crow feathers, no new summery landscapes… just taunting memories.

However, having him there didn't, and still doesn't, help a single bit. All Sakura could think is that Sasuke would come for her, and torture the kid in front of her eyes. She was vaguely aware of throwing up whatever little food the boy had managed to make her eat, and ended up sobbing pathetically.

' _This is what I really am. They can't make a warrior out of me._ "

She left the mindscape without thinking too much about the consequences. She wanted time to think things over and calm down, because her brain suddenly managed to process what Sachi's plan implied: _fight Sasuke_. There is a very big difference between offering herself up in exchange of Konoha's safety and standing up to him directly.

He subdued the goddamn Tailed Beasts with _one_ glance. Provoking his wrath could only bring even more death, just to hurt her. His message was very clear: surrender, or I'll make your life hell by destroying everything you care about.

There's already been enough murder because of her. The mere idea of trying to go against him… it sends shivers down her spine. The consequences of defeat are something she doesn't want to think about. If she went there without putting up a fight, there might be a chance.

However, her dreams are showing her what awaits her if she goes anywhere near him. Once she can't escape, disobedience of any kind would be out of the picture. And hell, she's scared. It hurts her pride to admit it... but Sakura is afraid of what he could do. It isn't just about her - without the utmost subservience on her part, he could simply target the people around her, again.

She'd be no better than a slave, a puppet in someone else's hands. She could be forced to commit all sorts of atrocities just to keep her people safe. Punished horribly for the smallest mistake. He knows he is one of her greatest weak points, and has already exploited it.

It's not an option. If she could guarantee Konoha's safety, it might be a remote possibility… but what can she offer? Healing, perhaps… he's too strong to need fighters.

' _Children,_ ' whispers some obscure part of her mind, venomously.

Never. He can go fuck someone else if he wants that. Hopefully someone who consents. Fangirls are crazy, no? Surely they don't mind if he's an insane, all powerful villain. Yep, let's keep that one in a very dark corner of her mind for now.

' _Where do I go from here?_ '

Nothing she can do against him will ever amount to anything but grief, or giving him a new person to put under his command.

As Sakura begins to slowly regain control over the tips of her fingers, she grimly realises that perhaps there is simply _nothing she can do_.

* * *

"News flash, you have to get the hell out of our nest, ah," comments Maru, startling both Sakura and Misho. He appears on top of her head and peeks over the Yin seal to look at her in the eyes. The urgency in his voice silences their protests. "Now, shut your mouths and listen to me if you don't want to die, ah - Pinky, I have no clue how did you get into Yugakure's database, but they caught on. You know what I'm talking about, ah."

 _Fuck._ Of course, it was asking for too much that she would be able to slip by unnoticed. Did Riko tell them or-

"Let me get this straight, Pinky. They're not the ones coming for you."


	15. Heart of Courage | Arc II: Runaway

_Ring a bell, for all you hold dear will one day wither and die, and only a memory will remain._

"Stay away from me if I tell you to do so."

Misho's eyes look up at her with an expression that sends a chilling pain through her heart. He looks hurt and even afraid. It seems like not many people have ever put their trust in him, but… this isn't about how good he is. This is about him not suffering a horrible death.

Sakura gets up to her feet in a hurry, packing up only the most essential things in her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. Her legs feel a bit numb, but she is sure of her ability to walk and even run if needed be. Just in case, she takes her companion umbrella.

Maru raps his tail against her head insistently, though he doesn't say anything. The pink-haired kunoichi is unsure of what is his role in all of this, because as though he doesn't seem to like humans too much, he isn't fighting to restrain her. Would he cooperate with her quickly sketched plan?

"Information," she barks, looking up to the rodent's face, as the last items strewn across the cave are picked up by her shaky hands.

"Black guy. The one from your dreams." Sakura doesn't dare ask how does the rat know about her dreams, and though her fingers feel like they're made of butter, she forces herself to keep moving. "He's alone, not very far away from us. Our rats are watching him, and he seems to be intent on looking for you."

Her hand curls into a tight, white-knuckled fist. Why now, of all times? What could he want? If he wanted her dead, she would already be; he had the perfect chance during the war. Her memories about what happened in the aftermath are extremely fuzzy, too. Sakura knows that her mind blocked off the memories, for the most part. Right now, it would be impossible to know how exactly did she get out of there alive.

_He just walked away._

The kunoichi shakes her head. No, that was a dream. And blanking out in this situation is not a good idea. Sasuke is able to teleport, yes - but even from this distance, would he be able to just appear out of thin air? Can he sense her chakra? Is it possible to escape or at least get the rats' help?

"Follow me," the rat snaps, jumping down from her head and onto the ground. It's hard to see in the darkness, but it looks like he is making… hand-signs?

The tip of the rodent's tail lights up with a dirty yellow color, almost too bright to look at without feeling pain in her eyes. His voice is serious and his movements are quick, sharp and calculated. He knows there is a big time constrict, yet there isn't a single ounce of fear in him. At least, the little jerk has that going for him.

Misho looks down at the ground, his expression unreadable, though he limits himself to trailing after them quietly. If only she had time to tell him that it's for his sake… Sasuke can't know they're connected. That would be a disaster.

"What are our defenses and how much time do we have?" she asks, focusing her thoughts on the matter at hand. It's way easier than dealing with her emotions and overwhelming fear, and so much more vital. That's what shinobi do. That's what has to be done to survive this.

Strangely enough, Maru snickers lightly. There is no sound of commotion, no rumbling that indicates an underground fight… so where is Sasuke and what is going on with the rest of the cave's inhabitants?

"Our nest is filled to the brim with natural chakra. We rats have a web of information and are tracking every single one of his movements, ah. At the moment, he is wondering why in hell he can't find you," he explains, sounding a bit too smug.

Well, for once, she isn't going to feel annoyed at it. Of course the rats would have their own network for watching over their home… Tomohiro had to get the inspiration from somewhere.

"We should have enough time to reach Big Fatty's chamber, ah. The others will keep him distracted."

How does one _distract_ a wielder of both the Sharingan and the Rinnegan, without being reduced to fine dust, she can't really imagine, but for the time being it's better to form a proper plan and leave delving into these questions for later, when her crazy ex-teammate isn't right next to her.

They go quiet, the only sound coming from Misho's footfalls and Sakura's heavy breathing. Her vision is nearly completely black, probably due to dizziness and adrenaline. All she can see is the yellow light on Maru's tail.

At some point, Sakura realises her hand is clasped around the boy's, so hard that it's probably painful. That shouldn't be happening… she shouldn't show she cares. But thinking about him getting lost in the tunnels and found my Sasuke, while he's alone… no. Never.

_I've never been a good liar._

"I know this is very rushed, but you have to trust me," she whispers under her breath, turning around to look at the kid.

He nods a bit too quickly, lowering his gaze to the ground. The damage is already done, but perhaps clarifying that she just wants to protect him will help Misho to understand. Maru commands them to be quiet, and this time Sakura obeys him without an ounce of defiance. Petty arguing isn't going to help in this situation.

" _Sakura!_ "

The pinkette stops right in her tracks, feeling Misho bump against her because of the sudden stop. A chilling sensation runs all the way throughout her body, her eyes widening in surprise. That voice… It can't be. She whirls around in an instant, putting Misho behind her and scanning her surroundings. It's completely dark and empty.

Yet she is almost certain that she heard a voice that is a bit too familiar. It's impossible to know where does it come from, but she knows it very well. Its dying echoes reverberate through the tunnel, ringing in her ears as if they came from everywhere at once.

_Like it happens in her dreams._

"KAI!"

_Where is he._

"Are you out of your mind? Shut up, ah!" Maru's tail comes crashing against the back of her head like a whip. Sakura blinks and turns around to look at him - the rodent's eyes flash with anger and worry. Yet the girl can't help but notice that… it was an illusion, after all.

The cave isn't nearly as dark anymore, the soft glow of the crystals reflecting on the stone walls and the streamlets of water. She's still in a tunnel, but the blackness that engulfed everything is gone. And what's more, now she can hear the screams of a familiar voice. The ground rumbles underneath her feet, as the crystals gleam violet.

Misho… _where is he?_ The kid isn't holding her hand, instead standing a few meters ahead, his eyes glassy and his expression too serene. He isn't hurt, or at least doesn't seem to be.

"Genjutsu… you little bastard," Sakura growls, glaring at the rat. Is he betraying them? He has to be. He never liked humans… She readies herself to throw him a chakra-laden punch, but a jolt of pain shoots through her arm and she collapses to the ground. Unfazed, the rat merely scoffs.

"Yeah, like hell I'm taking you to Big Fatty if you're freaking out," the rodent replies, nibbling on his staff impatiently. "You don't have any more options, Pinky. Either you trust me or you're alone against him."

It's as if he read her thoughts. Somewhere in the distance, she can hear Sasuke's voice again - it's impossible to tell if his screams come from rage or pain. What could hurt him, anyway? Sakura bites her lower lip, thoughtful. She also heard Naruto's voice calling for her, and this time she decided she wasn't taking any risks with weird illusions.

That's how she broke out of the genjutsu... but where did the fox boy's voice come from? And now, she is so much more aware of how strange the atmosphere of the cave feels. Charged… as if it was filled with invisible energy.

"Don't put me under a genjutsu again," she mutters, gritting her teeth and getting up to her feet. Her arm is barely responsive, but it doesn't seem like she is actually hurt. At least, not any more than she was before.

Her whole body feels constricted, as if there was a tight rope tied around her… Sakura is almost sure that it's because of the marks. It's an entirely unpleasant feeling, but there is still nothing to be done about it.

"Fine. But whatever you do, don't stop looking at my tail," mutters Maru, turning around and resuming the walk. Something in his I-don't-give-a-damn attitude is extremely infuriating, but for now, it's best to comply.

If it hadn't been for her resistance to genjutsu, Sakura wouldn't have been able to notice that something was amiss, not at all. Maru gave her a perfectly good reason for putting her under his spell, but… even if he hasn't done anything but help so far, regardless of how annoying he is, trusting him is way beyond what she can do right now. Especially, because she can _hear_ Sasuke's voice in the distance.

Misho trails after them in silence, and Sakura finds herself listening intently to the sound of his steps. If they stop, she won't doubt turning around a single second.

" _Lucky girl_." Sachi?

"Whatever you hear, don't _look_ ," Maru's voice warns, causing her to flinch.

It's difficult to ignore the voices - they seem to be moving around her, lurking in the darkness. Naruto and Sachi's are only the first of many. It's like having hallucinations again… except, this time, she is very aware that they aren't real. They _can't_ be. Maru seems to be aware of them and he doesn't seem to be worried, so there has to be another explanation to their existence.

Then again, the rat seems very intent in hiding troublesome things from her, so it could be possible that these things are actually capable of harming them. Sakura reaches out for Misho without looking away from the rat's tail, wrapping her fingers around his thin wrist after some probing around in the air.

Her feet are suddenly immersed in a cold liquid - the water of a small puddle splashes around her shoe. Her ears keep picking up the cacophony, a mix of voices from the dead, Sasuke's incongruent yelling and distant explosions. Where is the damn feather now? It would be so useful, but she doesn't remember where she put it.

"You can look now."

In her ministrations, Sakura didn't notice that the tunnel has become much more wide and bright - the crystals are abundant and glow stronger than anywhere else. It's Nezumi's cave, and for a moment she is left breathless. Before, it was just some huge cavern with a lake in it… now, the ceiling is filled with a myriad of lights, almost like stars.

It's hard to tell where they come from, as there is steam accumulated at the top part of the subterrane, hiding whatever is up there. It comes from dozens of giant salamanders, who lie scattered around the lake and breathe it from their nostrils and mouths.

The strange light produced by the crystals shines upon vague shapes she had not seen before - they look like trees, without a single leaf. They're made of dark crystal, rising from the ground as if they were hands reaching out for the dome above. It's eerily beautiful, haunting enough that her thoughts are engulfed by the fascinating picture.

The image is vaguely familiar, but she doesn't remember from where…

_A dream!_

Perhaps. Were these things here before? She certainly didn't notice them when she first visited here. Either way, as her feet sink into the water of the lake, her mind is brought back to reality. It's not a good moment to get lost in ruminations. Maru jumps on top of her head and sits down, sighing happily. It's as if it was just a normal day, no crazy demigod chasing after them or anything.

"You never told me the plan," she mutters, her eyes looking up at him with accusation.

The rodent snickers, tapping her head with his staff. Well, at least the fact that he is extremely annoying will keep her distracted from the impending doom that is surely about to be unleashed upon her.

"You never _asked_ , Pinky."

She rolls her eyes in annoyance, aiding her steps through the lake with the infamous umbrella. The sight of the King of Rats is as disconcerting and unpleasant as it was before, though now the tips of the tentacle tails are lit up with a thousand different colors, weaving in the air in step with the changes of the crystals and fake stars.

 _It's a heart_.

...This whole place…

It's _alive_. That's why the rats are connected, that's why they seem to be following a perfect rhythm, enough to keep Sasuke at bay. It's a whole living creature, scattered across many different, tiny bodies.

_It's a force of nature created by unity._

These rats aren't strong on their own… all they can do is hide. But together in synchrony, their strength rivals the last Uchiha's power.

_I'm safe._

"Focus, you dingus! You look like you just figured out the meaning of the universe," scolds Maru, smacking her so hard that it's probably going to leave a mark. Sakura feels her mind be pulled back to the harsh reality. How does she know that the rats will protect her? It felt as if… she wasn't in control of her own thoughts. It's probably her still delusional state. It has to be.

"You're going to cause me a concussion at this rate," she grumbles, forcing her thoughts to stay on track. Again.

...The walk towards Nezumi is taking too long. It feels like she is advancing, but every time she loses sight of its writhing mass, the distance grows anew.

"You lied to me," Sakura whispers, stopping in her tracks and feeling her heart skip a beat. It's… it's not safe, is it? The voices and the rumbling went away, but she didn't notice, the breathtaking imagery drawing her mind away from the sounds she already tried to ignore. It's another genjutsu. "Kai!"

_A purple star falls from the sky, its collision with the ground causing a tsunami, coming towards her. And she can't run, she can't escape…_

"Look back, ah."

There's black fire erupting from one of the tunnels connected to the cave. It causes ripples in the lake, the tiny waves splashing against her waist softly. He must be so close… Sakura's whole body feels cramped and tense. This could be it. Even if the cave seems unaffected by Amaterasu's flames, she won't fare so well, should he find her.

Her gaze darts back to Misho. His eyes are unfocused, his body loose and relaxed. He has no clue, still trapped in the first genjutsu. She thought it was better to keep him calm, but now…

' _Please, forgive me._ '

"Can you take him back? Isn't that the reason we came here? You can't do it on your own, can you?" she whispers, closing her eyes and breathing slowly, deeply. "I can distract Sasuke. He wants me…" Her voice quivers, and she feels that if she doesn't keep reign of her emotions, she might start rambling in desperation. "I don't want him to get hurt… please, take him. I'll buy you time."

It's said that courage is the strength of the foolish. That sometimes it's necessary to sacrifice the innocent and pure to achieve a goal. Collateral damage has to be caused… murder has to be committed.

 _For the greater good_.

But… she didn't become a medic-nin to save _herself._

_There is no other way._

If Sasuke isn't stopped, this whole place will be set in undying fire. And he won't end his rampage until he finds her. The civilian kid that stands beside her will be killed, probably in a horrible way. If she wants to live, sacrifices have to be made.

Misho said it - his body isn't ready to be messed with. He would need time to be moved away from the cave. And they don't have that. Not unless she gives him some. And if the cave isn't under attack, perhaps… it'll be quicker. Two birds with one stone, no?

"Sharp, Pinky, very sharp." Maru's tone is almost entirely flat, though it's still hard to tell if he's mocking her or not. "Very well."

Misho might hate her once he's out of here. Once he knows what she did. But it doesn't matter. Everything will be alright, because today, at least one innocent will be spared.

_Suck on that, Uchiha._

She lets go of Misho's wrist, Maru's weight disappearing from her head. Now she's alone, again, to face her greatest _weakness_. She gulps quietly, turning around, away from _safety_ and towards her fate.

There was never another option… he was bound to find her. Never in a million years would she have been able to escape, let alone win. She refuses to cry - shedding tears is proof that she cares. It all should be hidden, like a proper shinobi would do. It's the last shred of defiance that she can keep in this situation.

_I'm not afraid of you._

It's a lie, but bravery isn't about not being scared, is it? Step, step, step. Inches closer towards either the end of life, or the start of hell. She doesn't know.

_I want to heal the world._

Had that always been her goal? All these hurt people, all these souls deep into despair that no one bothered to help. It made her heart ache, to think of how lonely they must feel, so deep into darkness. That's why she didn't give up on Sasuke… but is it too late, now?

_I… I can't do it. I'm not strong enough._

He's there, his wrath and fire gone, eyes trained solely on her figure. She knows that he can cast powerful genjutsu without eye contact, so it's pointless to avoid his gaze. It's unreadable.

_I know that people have limits… I'm sorry, Naruto, not everyone can be a hero._

Is it really him, though? Is there any shred of the Sasuke she used to know, the one who still had a warm heart beneath a cold façade? That one wouldn't have killed all these people… wouldn't have tortured her.

_You and I are polar opposites._

A step away. The atmosphere of the cave clouds the aura of his chakra, but she knows it's there. Dangerous and destructive, and so many leagues ahead of hers. Any moment now… she doesn't know what he'll do, but it can't be good.

_I never understood you anyway._

Fatal mistake. No medic can heal what they don't comprehend. Yet there wasn't a book on how to help Sasuke Uchiha. She lowers her head, shutting her eyelids. Gods, she can feel his hot breath fanning over her. This is it.

_I tried as hard as I could. I did my best. Defeat is imminent._

And she still loves him. It hurts to realise, to know and admit. Because that's how she is, caring even after all that's happened. And… she's weak, but at least she knows who she is.

_Or do I?_

Lightning-fast, the edge of the blade reaches her throat, resting against the skin with a silent threat. It's not necessary - she already gave up. Perhaps he doesn't trust her, since the last time they met, she set up explosives to get him out of the way.

 _But that wasn't real_.

Electrifying, that touch of his. It's falsely gentle, pushing up her chin and forcing her to look. She opens her eyes. He frowns. Of course, when doesn't he? She can't recall a genuine smile on that face.

_Took it away._

It's a quiet examination. The whole world fades away, mind and body into this single moment. She can't _think_. She can't _move_. But there is no need to, is there? She takes a moment to do her own quiet inspection. He looks extremely pale, though uninjured. What happened to him, to make him scream like that?

_It isn't real._

The blade is gone… and so is the touch of his hand. His lips twitch, as if he was going to speak, and then a single crow feather drifts between them, both of their eyes following its movement. By instinct, her hand shoots forward and reaches out for it. Yet her fingers close around thin air.

_Wake up._

He's gone. Sakura blinks, and looks around tentatively. But she's alone. A bell rings somewhere in the distance, and the world is engulfed by darkness once more.


	16. Arrival of Winter | Arc II: Runaway

_Fickle, that is life; brief, that is spring; frail, that is beauty; brisk, that is love._

_Electrifying. The flash of purple light comes crashing towards the ground again, shaped like lightning. Under her feet, the glass cracks and breaks into millions of pieces, and she falls into an unending, dark abyss. The last thing she sees are his eyes, gleaming orbs of violet and red, as he stands on the edge, looking down at her._

_She's screaming, but no one will help, because she's alone. And then he hesitates, his hand reaching out for hers. He loses balance, and they both sink into the hungry jaws of oblivion, the Voices of the dead beckoning in their chaotic dance of madness._

_One of them, shaped like a demon of nine tails, comes closer as if it intended to make them its prey. Yet when its mouth opens, only two words can be heard._

_Wake up._

* * *

Someone is crying. The sound is familiar - she recognises that voice, but never heard it like this before. Sakura tries to figure out the kind of situation she is in, and the first memory that comes to her mind is that of Sasuke's gaze fixed on hers. _Too close._

Her eyes open immediately, a shiver running down her spine when she considers where she could be. Yet, above her there is only a cloudy grey sky, the gelid air of Frost slapping her face mercilessly in that same instant. She blinks a few times, taking careful note of her surroundings.

There's a fire lit right beside her, guarded from the worst of the wind by a building's wall, though the construction is filled with cracks and barely offers any protection to her. Her head rests on her backpack, the umbrella placed beside her own body. Someone put a sleeping bag over her, either carelessly or in a rush, because the cold breezes might make it fly away due to how badly secured it is.

No sign of Sasuke. Not even seals that might be restricting her freedom of thought and movement, no chains, no threat. Not even pain. At first glance, it feels like there is no immediate danger. Yet the loud wailing continues, and the sound of explosions can be heard in the distance. A battle, perhaps? Either way, Misho isn't here and getting up on her feet is probably the safest thing.

"Don't go, ah."

Maru's voice comes from right behind her backpack. The little bastard was hidden behind it, and as soon as she sits up he speaks up with that annoying tone of his. It's like he read her mind. Sakura turns around and looks at him in confusion. Does this mean… that she was moved out of the cave? What happened to Sasuke, then?

"Are you…?" she blurts out, considering the option that she was betrayed by the rats after all. How could she trust these creatures, when they put her into all sorts of genjutsu, even when she asked them not to? She's unable to finish the sentence, a knot forming in her throat with asphyxiating strength.

"Pinky, I don't have any reason to harm you," he replies, bluntly, jumping on top of her backpack and sitting down with the most casual air. His tail curls around his staff, juggling it in the air with expertise. "Even if you disagree with my ways, our goals are the same, ah."

Goals… is there one for her, right now? In this maddening chaos that only seems to get worse... is there a reason, a purpose? She has no clue where she could be in ten years. Hell, even in the next hours, anything could happen and she would be as lost as she is right now. After all, everything she ever loved is gone. Her friends, her Shishou, her home…

"What are these sounds?" she inquires, somehow managing to sound much calmer than she feels. It's strange… everything feels numb, distant. She humors herself by thinking that her heart has been kicked so much that it broke, and now her emotions are messed up.

"It's the twat. He's throwing a tantrum," replies the rat, unfazed by her lengthy silence. He doesn't seem to care about anything. What a bliss…

"Misho?" Sakura asks, looking towards the direction of the latest explosion. How could he be…? The ground is _rumbling_ , for Kami's sake. Never in a million years would she imagine the kid to hold that sort of power. This is probably a joke of some sort.

Yet, she can't help but feel how her heart speeds up at the mention of her younger friend. Worry, care and hope - all of them mix in the pools of her eyes, and her tone reflects it, if only slightly. Even now, it's impossible to hide her feelings completely.

"Yep, yep," the rat replies, in a mockery of the kid's voice. "Bleeding hearts like him are always dangerous, ah."

 _I have to help him_. Sakura feels the need to shake her head. Desperation won't help - it's obvious something is wrong with Misho, but her mind can only work at full efficiency if she keeps her cool. And yet, she gets up to her feet immediately, ready to ignore the rat's advice without a second thought. She isn't going to listen to him again anytime soon. He can't be trusted.

Ignoring Maru's high-pitched protests, Sakura picks up her backpack and slings it over her shoulder, putting the sleeping bag under her arm. After some thought, she figures the umbrella might be useful after all, so she gets a hold of it with her free hand. The rat jumps on her head, yet she merely stands still and tightens her grip around the plastic of the item in her hands.

"Get _off_ ," she whispers lowly. When he ignores her, Sakura surprises both of them by using the umbrella to smash the rat. Yet, when he dodges it, she doesn't stop the motion and hits herself. There's little dots dancing around in her vision. "You need me," she continues, launching another attack and missing once more. It hurts much more than she'd like to admit.

She can't control her own motions. It even feels _good_ to do this. Relieving in a dark, twisted manner. Gods… she's losing it. Or maybe it's a needed gamble to get the stupid rodent off of her. She doesn't know, and that thought is absolutely terrifying.

It works, however - the rat jumps away from her, landing on the ground quietly. Satisfied, Sakura puts away her improvised weapon and hides her newly acquired dizziness by taking off the backpack and putting her sleeping bag in it. Each blink feels like it will be the last, her vision blurry and slightly darker than usual. She ignores it, getting up and doing her best to avoid stumbling.

There's scorch marks on nearby buildings… some of them are still fuming. The glass of the windows has been melted, mixing with the metal and plastic, pooling on the ground and still too hot to become fully solid. Even the artificial structures made of stone and concrete are falling apart. Whatever isn't burnt or transformed into an extremely heated mass has become filled with cracks.

She can't really believe that Misho did this. And even then, what could prompt him to? _How?_ The amount of heat and chakra needed to create fire so hot is something that couldn't be caused by him. He didn't have enough reserves for a small summoning jutsu…

There he is, standing amid the chaos and looking up at the crumbling shape of what used to be a bank, judging by what's left of the signs on the façade. His whole figure is enveloped by snakes of fire, and it takes a moment for her to realise what's causing the image to feel amiss.

His body is deformed… there's the start of a tail growing at the bottom of his back. His clothes have been ripped apart by the growing bulge of a body that doesn't look human, its black and yellow colors contrasting brightly with the grey background beyond the area he destructed. What looks to be _liquid_ fire pours out from the pores on his body, his black eyes filled with the colors of flames.

_I'm fine, really. Just trying to get adjusted._

His words echo in her mind, each one jabbing painfully at her heart. He hid _this_ from her. Why does it hurt so much? Did he think she was too weak to help him? Did he want to _protect_ her? A battle rages on in her mind - when he spoke of care and admiration, was he actually seeing her as someone useless?

_I'm a failure, aren't I? No matter how hard I try, how strong I get, everyone thinks that._

Perhaps Sasuke left her alive because she wasn't worth killing. A strange sensation fills her being when she thinks of that, but right now she is unable to keep her mind off the strange creature that used to be her only friend.

She puts down her backpack and reaches inside for an item she hasn't used in a while: the black, velvety crow feather is just as she remembers it to be. Her fingers close around it gently, the item bringing memories of illusions, both pleasant and unpleasant. This thing has been with her since she left the battlefield, and she still can't tell if that's good or bad.

Leaving her other things behind, she raises it in front of her eyes and twirls her fingers with a falsely idle air. She can't even feel the heat or cold. They counter each other out, and the ambience is stuck in this strange limbo of temperatures. Her arm is filled with the dark tendrils drawn on her skin, fuming with black worms.

She can't feel those either, which is strange. Maybe she's gotten used to them - overtime, it's clear that she became able to see them quite clearly, so maybe her body has adapted to the sensations they cause. It doesn't matter - her steps take her closer to Misho, who has noticed her presence and stares at her.

The left side of his face is even worse than what she could see before, when her view was unclear. Even though her eyes are focused on the feather, it's a sight that would be hard to forget. It's like his skin has been melted by the fire, replaced by the salamander-like scales that cover most of his body. There's some patches of hair that have burnt away.

She stops a few meters away from him, wondering if he'll just barf fire onto her and cause her flesh to melt off from the bones. She is in no state to dodge. Yet… this is the only thing she can think of, right now.

She knew immediately that this isn't like some sort of Tailed Beast outbreak… this is his body absorbing natural chakra and turning it into usable energy. She has heard stories like these from records of failed Sages. He said the rats used techniques based on that to heal him, so it isn't far-fetched to think the imbalance they caused could make him be more prone to do this without having reign over it.

If something made Misho snap, his subpar control over chakra and lack of experience could perfectly well cause this… Right now, all she knows is that he will die if no one does anything. And… she's the _only_ one that can help. The thought of letting him perish is much worse than considering her own death.

"This helps me to be calm. Maybe it can help you too," she mutters, looking at him directly. He doesn't look like he will attack, at least, though it's hard to tell because of how disfigured his face is.

His hand reaches out for the feather… and he _yelps_ with a guttural voice and pulls his arm back, his eyes meeting hers with a glimmer of hurt. Sakura blinks, looking at the feather warily. Yet her hand isn't holding what she thought. It's a kunai. How could she make this mistake?

_Am I going to die?_

He raises an arm too big for any human, his fingers filled with tiny claws and spikes, towering over her menacingly. It's obvious that any trace of rationality is gone from him.

"I'm sorry," she mutters, lowering her gaze and closing her eyes. Whatever it might be… she couldn't save him. The last person she held dear won't survive much longer. Not in this place, not in this state. Even for this… she failed. Maybe it's a fair punishment.

She senses the rush of air around her, but death doesn't hit. Instead, she is rammed from the side by the same gigantic arm and flung in the air like a ragdoll. The air is knocked out of her lungs when her back collides with the wall of one of the few spared buildings. Her head hits the concrete so fast that every thought is kicked into a disorganized jumble.

Her eyes look up at the darkening sky, as her consciousness slips away.

_It's snowing. How cool._

* * *

It's the second time she wakes up today, and this time Sakura has a brutal headache to accompany her as she regains her awareness. Her head feels like it got run over by at least ten horses. Around her, the fires are still lit up, yet judging by the color of the clouds, it's almost night time.

The sleeping bag is placed over her again, her head resting on the backpack once more. What happened? Where's Misho? By now, he could be dead… She tries to get up, but everything is blurry and her limbs won't respond properly.

"Don't go, ah."

Maru is sitting near her head, casually playing with his staff, as if the destruction around him wasn't bothersome at all. Even now, he sounds smug, as if her injuries had proved a point. She still doesn't feel any pain, speaking of that… Perhaps this might be a problem, rather than something good. Of course it would be, with her luck.

The rat smacks her hand with his staff, catching her by surprise. He seems bored, but behind these eyes she has the feeling that there is something else… What, she can't tell.

"Foolish girl… I told you I'm on your side," he drawls with annoyance. "You should _really_ listen from time to time, ah."

She doesn't reply, her eyes closing to shield themselves from the too-bright lights of the fires and molten substances. It's so hard to tell things apart anymore… There is no real sense of direction. Not even a feel of identity. Sakura fears her mind and personality might be dissolving into a chaotic mess. Everything is happening too fast, too intensely for her to be able to process it.

Sachi said it - she can't handle all of this. She's falling apart piece by piece, and losing herself can't be much further ahead.

' _I'm Sakura Haruno. I'm seventeen years old. I'm a kunoichi from Konohagakure. I'm..._ '

Desperation echoes in her mind as she realises that most of these thoughts bring painful memories, and none of the good. What happened to her life before all of this? All these dreams, all the happiness and hard work. Is it for nothing? Is it really… over?

It's the truth. The cold, harsh reality slaps her in the face - Sasuke won. There is nothing left to do for her, except run away and hide for the rest of her life. She will never see Konoha again. So many people died that it's hard to discern one face from the other, one voice among the cacophony. It's gone. It's all _gone_ , and soon she will be too.

Even if she came back, what kind of life would await her? What would Sasuke do? She wouldn't be able to live under his rule… even if she tried to rebel, Sakura knows that hiding emotions isn't her forte. He would know right away. She wouldn't forgive herself if she just sat around and did _nothing_.

There's no exit, no solution to the problem, because it isn't a mere test that is made to be solved. There is no way, because there is no pattern. No fate. Just unending chaos. Some people, like Naruto, had the right soul and heart for setting things straight, but… they're all gone. This is despair. _This_ is the end.

She knows it, the dreadful feeling that had been lurking in her heart, blooming like a flower that marks the end of an era, and the start of another. A mockery of spring, where things are made out of the sheer strength of darkness, not life. And here she is, stranded amid the Land of Frost, with a kid who could melt entire villages down and a rat that can't be trusted, too weak to help herself with either of them.

It should feel painful, but… there's nothing. She feels completely empty.

 _Smack_. Maru slaps her hands again, and before he can speak she turns around, angrily. She doesn't need anyone to make her misery worse.

Behind her, she finds the sleeping form of Misho, wrapped in a coat and a sleeping bag, curled up against the wall. He looks so very pale, his skin mottled by patches of black and yellow, like bruises. She immediately checks for his breathing, but he's definitely alive. His clothes are in an even worse state than before, but… he seems to be fine.

Did he come back to his senses and return? It was probably him who took care of her, after all. He isn't strong enough to put her in a sleeping bag, but it would make sense. He's safe, although he is shivering.

Sakura would want to put him on a better mattress, but her limbs aren't working as they should. Instead, she wraps her arms around his once more smaller form, careful to avoid pressing her body against him, but still give part of her heat. She tucks him in his own cocoon of cloth, separate from hers.

"What happened to him?" she asks, not bothering to turn around. Her tone is as flat as she can manage, and though she doesn't expect Maru to respond, it's worth a try.

"As stupid as always, Pinky. Both of you, ah," the rat replies, jumping over her and landing next to their heads. "We brought him to Yugakure, as you wished, ah. Upon his arrival, he found all of his family members missing, except his mother, ah."

_Oh no…_

"A man had come to them, saying that Twat was in debt with him and some other bullshit, ah. I don't know who he was or what he was on about, ah, but he was strange. When they refused to give his brother in exchange, he killed one of the twat's parents and left the other one to tell the tale."

Her eyes land on the rodent, who is explaining the tale with the same air as he usually speaks. He doesn't care at all, does he? Maru even sounds bored.

"His mother was pissed, as you'd expect. She kinda lost her mind, ah. We had to go look for her in the madhouse, incognito mode. So when she flipped the hell out, we had to hightail out of there faster than you can say 'dammit'. The only place where we could go was another of the seals within our network, ah, so I got the idea of using one of the ones in here."

Sakura glances at the sleeping kid. So that is why… What could she even say when he wakes up? ' _Sorry, been there, done that, let's throw a misery party_ '? There's no words… nothing at all. The world wouldn't even spare a child, as it's a soulless amalgam of ever-fighting sides. It's cruel. It's unfair.

_It's life._


	17. Song of Silence | Arc II: Runaway

_And so Moon and Sea drag each other in a never ending dance and war..._

"I'm going to take a walk." Maru's eyes settle upon hers, mischievous and calculating. The usual, really. "I think he's stable now, but call me if anything changes." She looks at Misho, whose face has gone almost deathly pale, but his vitals are constant and normal. He's just very, very drained. A few hours of rest should help with that.

"Running away, Pinky?" the rat retorts, snorting. _Don't stomp him, don't stomp him..._

Sakura moves as if she were about to shake her head, but Maru only grins devilishly. He knows… he knows she needs a break, regardless of how many excuses she gives him. Her dislike of the rodent is only increasing. He pisses her off nearly every time they speak, even though she tries to keep their interactions to a minimum.

"I'll look for supplies… and a better place to hide. As soon as the snowstorm stops, we'll move," she replies, attempting to keep her anger off her voice. The girl glances at the nearby streets of Shimo, covered by a white blanket that only thickens with time. It's even colder than before, and without proper shelter, their chances of survival are dropping by the minute.

Maru makes a sound that is almost a _giggle_ and sits next to Misho. That's as much of a confirmation as she wants from him. Without a further word, Sakura turns on her heel and treads into the snow, outside the small tent she set up to cover them from the weather. It's a good thing she got hiking boots, because without chakra this is a much more difficult than usual.

"Stupid ice… stupid snow… damn it all," she grumbles, barely keeping balance with the help of the battered umbrella. She goes through a mental list of all the things that are idiotic, senseless or annoying.

Damn little rat, with his know-it-all attitude. Yeah, asshole, you could have taken us to somewhere better than this place. He's probably going to disappear in a puff of smoke as soon as he gets bored, and leave her here. He didn't even help to set up the tent! While her legs are practically healed, she wouldn't have minded that her supposed _ally_ actually did useful things.

A venomous voice reminds her that Misho is the one that got her in this situation. He was the one who used the summoning jutsu, the one who exhausted himself so badly that he ended up like this… He was trying to save her, yes, but…

 _I'm just looking for someone to blame_.

If there's someone at fault, that's Sasuke. None of this would have happened if not for him. It's still difficult to believe, that he would be capable of the atrocities he committed. And now everyone is gone. Everything…

Sakura can tell, in that exact moment, that she's reaching her breaking point. It has been a long time since she got time to sit down and _think_ , and now that she can do it, it only makes things worse.

_It's so quiet._

In Yugakure, she was constantly blacking out to avoid paying attention to things and sounds that weren't really _there_. It has to be pitiful, to miss the product of her dementia. Although, according to Sachi, at least a good part of it has to do with Sakura becoming some sort of vessel for life chakra. If what her inner voice said is true, then these things should still be there.

_Then why… why do I feel so empty? Why can't I sense them?_

She hasn't heard her inner voice since… well, since she left her mindscape. Her fingers automatically look for the feather, but that is also gone. Why did she mistake it for a kunai? It almost costed the pinkette her life. Misho still has a cut on his bandaged palm.

Even the village is quiet. Her steps have taken her far away from the makeshift shelter, but she hasn't been paying attention to her surroundings. The colors of this village are dull, black and grey contrasting against the snow, but still feeling lifeless. It does feel like a graveyard, but this time around, there are no strange Voices to try and hunt her down. She should be grateful, but…

_What if it's all just something my mind crafted? What if… this is all there really is?_

The rats did say that there was more to it, but how could she trust them? There has to be a way to prove herself that it isn't just fake. It just… it _can't_ be!

_Denial._

"Kami…" Sakura's steps come to a halt, her knees buckling underneath her. She falls to the ground, sinking in the snow almost up to the waist. There's something hot and wet trickling down her cheeks, but she can barely feel it.

It makes so much sense now… She studied this psychological pattern to death, since many shinobi are still quite emotionally driven. Everyone loses someone they love. And she had to deal with those people many, many times. How did she not notice sooner?

_It was all… a lie…_

It's all gone. There's no crow feather, no Sachi, no Naruto and Ino. No voices or dreams or anything left for her to hold onto. Nothing. Her whole body trembles at the realisation, for the second and final time, that it's all over. It's all… really… _gone_.

Her hands move on their own accord, searching for something to hold onto and finding nothing. Her fingers play with the snow, cupping it into balls and then squeezing as tightly as possible. Over, and over, and over - even after her fingers have gone numb. That is, until she hears something and raises her head, only to meet Maru's dark gaze.

"I don't like you, ah," he grumbles, leaning on his staff. _Go away. Leave me alone._ "You look like the kind of person who sets a goal, reaches it and then cries a lot for being so bad, ah. It's _pathetic._ "

She merely looks down and keeps playing with the snow. Right now she doesn't care all that much about the little jerk. Maybe later she'll punch him. Now… it's as if everything had gone cold.

"Don't play all I-don't-give-a-damn, ah. I know you're listening, Pinky," the rat continues, tapping her chin with his staff. "Someone should've given you this talk a long time ago. You had it so easy, ah, and now you're throwing a tantrum because it didn't go your way."

Ignore him. He'll go away, eventually. _Like everyone else_. Will Misho hate her when he wakes up? Probably. But she has to get him out of this place… There has to be somewhere he can go. Somewhere he can call home… right? She can't leave him, even if he despises her for ruining his life.

_Just like Sasuke._

But this time, it's _her_ fault. It's deserved. And at least… at least she won't be alone. Maru huffs and sits down on top of the snow, in front of her.

"I think I missed the moment where the cat ate your spine, Pinky."

She looks "up" at him - or well, as much as you can do that with a rat. He shuts his mouth immediately, his dark eyes scanning hers intensely. What could he be looking for, anyway? It's _empty_. Finally, Maru grumbles something and shakes his head.

"I'll listen to your bullshit if you're that bad at managing emotions. Don't expect me to give a shit, though," he continues, his tone not at all softer. In fact, he's faking the tone of someone who has a very treacherous task ahead of themselves.

"Why would you do that, anyway?" she whispers, wiping off her tears with her wrist. She grits her teeth and sits back on her ankles, glaring down at the strange rodent. She receives a smack on her hand for her troubles.

"You're stupid, Pinky," the rat grumbles, sounding tired. "I'll repeat it just this once, and I won't say it again: we rats care about our people. Even if they're stuck-up, annoying _people_ like you."

* * *

"Desperation is a strange thing. Take away the smallest of routinary things, even those that are annoying, and soon you'll be feeling like some vital part of your life is missing… You may not even be able to pinpoint what, but you know that something is wrong. If you're starving, you won't care what you have to eat. If you're in the dark, the smallest candle will make your eyes hurt. If someone you love is gone… then maybe you will look for someone to replace them."

_It was a dream… but it was so nice to stop the loneliness._

Her voice is raspy from talking so much, but she has no intention of stopping. Maru kept to his word, for once, and listened to her quietly. Even as she looked for a shelter, and brought Misho to it when she found a suitable place - a strange, northern version of a greenhouse. It was so comfortably warm inside that she nearly thought it was an hallucination.

"I know it isn't real… these things and people are gone, and nothing will replace them. But I still miss them. I'm still scared it's happening again. They can't really hurt me, because they aren't really there. I should know how to deal with it, I'm stronger than this, but I…"

Sakura brought Misho there, and set up camp inside. It seems like the building is designed to be heated by the plants themselves. Expensive, yes, but self-sufficient. She doesn't care about sleeping in the soil, if it keeps Misho and her warm. And all along, she forced herself to talk.

"Maybe that's why I'm talking to you of all… people, I guess? I don't like you. You're annoying and a stuck-up jerk, and if I could I'd never talk to you again, but I have no choice. Misho is still out of it, and he probably hates me. The voices, the feather, the dreams… they're all gone. I'm… I'm lonely, and you're all I have."

She hasn't talked this much in… forever, it feels like. Since she was in Konoha, chatting about daily nuisances and small gifts of life. It was difficult at first, because she kept having hiccups and half-choked sobs. Much to her surprise, the rat didn't mock her. He merely perched himself on her shoulder, and this time she didn't bat him away.

It has been a few hours now - the snowstorm stopped, and now she is on the lookout for shops and storage houses. Knowing the state of this place, she now knows that no one will come back. There is a spell of death lingering in the air… No one would want to live here. Throwing her manners aside, ransacking whatever she can find seems like a good option. Though if she finds a pen and paper, she will surely leave a note anyway.

As Maru pointed out, Misho doesn't need to be watched over constantly. The rat can apparently feel the fluctuation of natural chakra, even through the kid's body, and according to him there is nothing to fear. The two of them have been walking around the village, eyes wary of any signs of a worsening of the weather.

"I don't know how to describe it… I just don't really feel anything. It's like I'm empty, like there's nothing. It's cold and numb and… it feels so horrible. I think it might be depression, but I didn't see the stages of grief, so I'm not so sure. It just feels so bad… Do you think I'm crazy?"

There's friendships that are forged with fire, amid the clash of weapons and screams of agony - the ones who save your life in the middle of the battle, and the ones you could trust with your own in a heartbeat. Shinobi are trained to do this with the coldest efficiency, to ensure the gears spinning within a team will do so without getting stuck anywhere.

"Ah."

And then there's Maru. His voice is annoying, he is a prick and he likes to smack Sakura's head and hands with his staff, for no apparent reason. In comparison to these legendary tales of ninja friendship, theirs is an ugly flower blooming in winter. It shouldn't be there, it's alive seemingly out of some miraculous feat of luck. Yet there it is… a spark of hope and color in a sea of deathly white and grey. Because he's all she has. And nothing, not even him, is worse than _silence_.

"I feel like I would go completely nuts if I had no one to talk to, so here we a- OW! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

It's a strange thing. She wouldn't know if she can call it friendship, because even though the rat hasn't done anything to actually harm her, Sakura's trust is something the little rodent will have to earn.

"You passed the storage, Pinky."

In a weird way, she knows he will be there. He isn't pleasant, he isn't _nice_ at all… but he is the proof that she isn't alone. That someone out there is still by her side. It's a bleak light in the darkest of nights, but it's all she has. She knows she is desperate.

"...I hate you."

But maybe, just maybe, the pinkette also admits that he does keep her emotions alive, even if it's by pissing her off. That this rat, with all of his sarcasm and blunt replies that cater to no one's desires, might actually be a friend. If only, because he _listens._ He is there, filling the empty void and giving her company. And right now… she won't throw away anything that might save her from the darkness. She doesn't like him, but he's very damn welcome.

"My pleasure," he replies, jumping down and bowing to her. His face isn't exactly human, but she can tell he is smirking. Sakura rolls her eyes and walks past him, into the run down building that identifies itself as a storage house.

"Let's see… we need to get something we can use as a mattress. If push comes to shove, we'll have to spend the winter here, so we better get comfy. We should also get as much food and water as we can, and extra medical supplies. I'm running short on bandages too… Maybe I can get a sarashi. A change of clothes would be nice too…" she trails off, rambling about how annoying it is to have no chakra for hygienic measures.

She has to be feeling better, if she's thinking about such things. Yet she can't shake off the sensation, right in the middle of her chest, that denotes painful emptiness.

* * *

"Tell me about Sasuke Uchiha."

Sakura blinks and turns her gaze to Maru, who is casually watching her arrange the supplies they "stole". He interrupted her mid-rant about dress coloring, and she was almost laughing by now. Did he just try to ruin her fun? Regardless, she shrugs, feeling the smile of her face slip away. Her shoulders are tense, even as she aimlessly pretends to work on a proper mattress.

"He was Ino's crush," she mutters, because her story with Sasuke started much before their genin team was assembled. "Ino was my best friend when I was little. She helped me and encouraged me…" Sakura closes her mouth, pushing away the image of the blonde. _She's gone._ "But I wanted to be strong, and I became her rival for Sasuke's affections. So, yeah, she had a crush on him... Well, pretty much every little girl did."

"Ah, you liked him because of a contest."

Sakura bites her lower lip, sitting down on the makeshift bed, next to Misho's sleeping form. Her eyes trail to the kid's pale face, and her fingers itch to check for his fever, but she ignores the feeling.

"Yes. And well, he was so cool too. He was dark and mysterious… everyone wanted to get to the heart of someone like that!" For some reason, Sakura has the feeling that these excuses to feel less dumb about her actions don't really cut it. In fact, it's like they're making it worse. "But then he showed… that he was a person too. With emotions and all, you know?"

"Impressive, ah." She glares at Maru, who is giving her a _slightly_ condescending look.

"I liked him… for being Sasuke. And I wanted him to be _my_ Sasuke, but overall I started caring for him as a person, not… an idol. He wasn't social, okay? But he wasn't heartless. He didn't want anyone's pity, but despite everything he still cared about us. His teammates, I mean," she continues, rushing her words without really noticing. Her heart is beating just a tad faster than it should, her hands clamped around her knees. "I… I _loved_ him. I would have done anything for him. When he left the village, I even offered going with him!"

There's a flash of what looks like surprise in Maru's eyes, but it's gone in an instant. Instead, he nods and comments:

"Ah, perhaps you even love him now. I misjudged your feelings for him, Pinky."

_I love him._

"...W-what?" she sputters, voicing her thoughts by pure surprise. "After all he did? Are you insane?!" she growls, the pressure of her fingers so strong that her skin is going white. It hurts, but she's vaguely aware of it.

"Ah, so are you."

_Motherf-_

Sakura forces herself to take a lengthy, deep breath. She relaxes her fingers, letting go of her knees and then exercising her muscles to regain proper blood flow on her hands. Right, calm down. She wants to get rid of this feeling of emptiness, but seething rage is not the way to go.

"Why would you think that, huh?" she whispers between gritted teeth. She has been trying to run away from Sasuke. The sole mention of his name makes her feel uneasy, and she's had nightmares almost every night. What the hell is the rat on about?

"Simple, if you didn't you wouldn't be such a mess over him, ah," Maru replies, as if it was the most foolproof fact in existence. Sakura blinks a few times, tilting her head to the side and awaiting further explanation. The rat merely smacks her barely-recovered hands and shakes his head. "Sometimes I'm impressed by how fatally oblivious you _are._ You are annoying and all, but you're not a wimp, ah. If he was just some enemy of yours, you'd only be angry and kick his ass. You feel like this because your heart is open to him, ah," he finishes, smugly.

"...Who are you, my therapist?" she grumbles, looking away with a grimace. She merely wants to hide the strange emotions that have started to make her heart pound fiercely. Alright, when she asked for a break from apathy, she didn't exactly mean _this_.

_Sasuke… why?_

"Because I have to…" she whispers, going cold again. "Because killing you would be no fun," the pinkette repeats, quivering, unable to mimic the tone of his voice. _He knew._

"It's said that when you truly hate someone, death is only the best mercy you can bring to them, ah," the rat continues, as if he wasn't fazed at all by her incongruence. "He must despise you a lot, to leave you alive when he killed everyone else."

He couldn't… could he? _That's not Sasuke_. That just _can't_ be him! But if that was true, none of this would be real. The real Sasuke wouldn't have done that.

But is there a 'real' him? How could he shape up to be such a monster? It's him - the one she used to know, yet not quite the same.

And the question still remains - why spare her, after all he had done? Did he change his mind when he went after her again, or was that just a part of some plan she doesn't know of? In truth, just like always, she can't delve into the Uchiha's mind.

Yet now… now she knows why he'd call her _weak_. She is the opposite of all he strives to be - a cold hand guiding the strings that move the world, against a heart brimming with emotions. Light, dark. Love… and hatred.

Maru is right. Sasuke… whatever he is now, is nothing more than an enemy looking down upon her. And just like that, she can feel a freezing wave overcoming every last fiber of her body.

_Even now, I still dance for you._


	18. Echo of Lullabies | Arc II: Runaway

_Deep in the meadow, amid a dead forest, withers a cherry blossom._

The dreaded moment arrives much earlier than Sakura would have wanted it to happen. Four days after she found shelter, she is still going on daily trips to find any useful supplies scattered around Shimogakure's buildings. The weather keeps getting worse, and without chakra she will soon be forced to hide in the greenhouse for who knows how long.

And there they are, Misho's black eyes, focused on her figure the moment she steps in. He is sitting up inside his sleeping bag, resting his chin on his knees and hiding most of his face. The pinkette halts her steps immediately, the shock and relief overwhelming her thought processes for a few brief moments.

She feels like this is some sort of test - the kid is clearly evaluating her, waiting to see what is the first thing she does. Sakura finds herself wanting to smile reassuringly, put up her cheerful façade and pretend things are fine, but… It isn't, not for him and not for her. He came back home to find his family torn apart. Because of _her_.

No, even if she tried to play a charade, it wouldn't make him be alright anymore. This is like walking through a minefield, and it wouldn't surprise her if she was part of the target for his anger. Yet, she can't stay like this forever… Maru taps the back of her head quietly, as if to tell her to hurry the hell up.

"Are you in pain?" she blurts out, putting down the things she gathered and taking a step towards Misho. Knowing what she does about jinchūriki, a person like him could snap in an instant, but he doesn't seem to be tense.

"I feel very tired," he rasps, his throat sore. The kid coughs a little bit and points at one of the water bottles placed around the room. "Can I have some?"

He sounds… sad. Heartbroken and exhausted, but if he is angry, he doesn't show it. Sakura nods and diligently picks up the item, opening it and giving it to him. He almost drops it, his hands shaky and unresponsive, but she manages to catch it before it spills.

While he slowly drinks, she stands up again to take off her winter clothing and put it aside. This place is unpleasantly hot in comparison to the outside, but she will get used to it soon. That's how it always is.

Once she is done, Sakura turns around and finds the kid looking at her again, his gaze boring into hers, searching… What? What is he looking for? She tilts her head to the side, trying to figure it out.

"You look different," he comments, after what might have been minutes. He gives a bleak smile, tentatively. There is a glint in his eyes, something familiar that she knows too well… there it is, the little boy that has been caring for her with unwavering faith.

_He doesn't hate me._

Her lower lip trembles, but Sakura forces herself to avoid crying, biting the flesh as hard as she can without risking an injury. A half smile creeps up onto her features, shaky and filled with all the emotions she has been keeping bottled up regarding the person that is possibly her only friend.

"A bit, yeah," she replies, sheepishly. Truth be told, she hasn't looked in a mirror in a very long time, but she probably doesn't look good. Her skin is sickly pale, she has barely managed to get enough sleep and her waking hours have been spent working restlessly, all of her energy used on gathering supplies and tending to him.

His grin grows a fraction of an inch more, and just like that all of her worries are swept away, the ice between them breaking in an instant. She knows he isn't fine, because his eyes are slightly puffy and his face's skin is creased into a slight frown, but… he's still by her side. And right now, that is all she could ask for.

Maru hops off her head and starts to pester the kid - Sakura knows enough to understand that the rat is giving her time to get her shit together before confronting the issue of his family. Either that, or this is his annoying way of greeting people. She doesn't know for sure, but she decides that whatever the reason, it's a good opportunity to organise her new supplies and think.

She is done almost a bit too fast for her own liking, but this moment was bound to arrive sooner or later. The pinkette has gone over the things she should do and say many times over, but she still feels nervous about it. She glances back at the rat and the kid - apparently, they're arguing about food. It feels so natural, as if this was just another normal day…

The moment she sighs lowly and takes a step towards them, the rat finds an excuse to hop away and leave her room. Well, the little bastard was helping after all, who would have known. She sits next to the kid, crossing her legs and looking at some random spot amid the piles of items that she brought here.

"I know what happened to your family," she mutters, finally forcing herself to look at him. He looks down almost immediately. "I'm sorry. If there is anything you need to talk about, you can just tell me at any time. You can count on me, okay?" she finishes, proud of managing to finish her sentences. This was the best she could come up with, and after many failed attempts, keeping it concise seemed like the best way to go.

He nods, but doesn't say anything. Less than a minute later, she finds him hugging her torso tightly, as if he was clinging to her for his dear life. He might be, for all she knows. She positions herself in a more comfortable way (this is probably going to take a while, after all), stroking his hair in circular, slow motions.

He doesn't even make a sound with crying, but through her shirt, she feel the moisture of tears.

* * *

"I feel like I'm going crazy," the kid mutters, rubbing his face with a sweaty hand. Well, apparently he doesn't do good with warmth. Who knew? "Do you think we'll get to go outside?"

Sakura takes a peek over a particularly big pile of crates, a kunai in her mouth and two equally bulky stacks of papers in her hands. She vehemently shakes her head, because the last time she tried to tell him no, she found out how painful it is to try and talk with a blade in her mouth. The kid pouts and she goes back to her frantic search.

Okay, she admits she might have hoarded a bit too much stuff in her rush to get all the needed things to wait out the bad weather, but finding the damn things she need shouldn't be so difficult. _Somewhere_ under that enormous pile of folders, there should be a few maps that would be tremendously useful right now.

"Twat, if you ask one more time, you're going to have something else to whine about," cuts in Maru, causing her to snicker. Is it evil if she actually finds him a bit hilarious, as long as he isn't berating _her_?

"I got a few games for you to play," she comments, spitting out the kunai and looking around hesitantly. "They're here… _somewhere_ ," Sakura adds, rubbing the back of her head with her wrist. "If we could get out of this place before the worst of winter comes, though, it would be much better. I'm pretty sure we're going to need a proper bathroom soon," she adds with a grimace. At least, the rats' cave had small waterfalls that could be used to clean her body…

"Where exactly are we going?" Misho questions, getting up from his seat and walking up to her. Sakura looks at him with a little surprise, though she shrugs and hands him the documents she was holding. "...Land of Water?" he mutters, looking through the carefully selected maps and a few tourism guides.

Honestly, Sakura was surprised to know that these things existed. Apparently, one of Shimo's citizens was absolutely obsessed with geography, because that one abandoned house was _filled_ with this kind of stuff. Sadly, this person looked like a historian, which meant most of the documents were decades old and outdated - what she first saw as a stroke of luck ended up being a nuisance.

"Where else do you want to go?" she mutters, picking up her kunai and using it to remove staples from the papers. "As far as we know, Kumo is in ruins and going further north isn't an option anyway. We can't go back to Yu, because… well," the girl ends up wordless for a few awkward seconds, but she manages to continue. "I'm hoping we can reach the coast if we go to the south. Shimo happens to be close to the Sun Gulf - if my theory is correct, there should be a port there."

To illustrate her plan, Sakura picks up one of the old maps and points towards the approximate place where Shimo is today. If they went straight south, it should take a day or two to reach the coast. They would need to wait out this still-ongoing storm, but if they made a rush for it… maybe it could work. There should be roads, or at least traces of them, leading to that place.

"There is a village called Engetsu right here. Even if it has been abandoned, it's likely that at least some of the fishermen's ships are still there." She has successfully gone from stealing food to stealing people's _boats_... Sakura has the slight impression that leaving a note isn't going to help anyone's day with that. "From there, we'll pretty much have to wing it. Following the coast might be the safest option."

It feels _very_ nice to be able to talk to Misho, because Maru gets on her nerves a bit too much and she is still sure that something is very, very wrong with her head. She can't pinpoint what, but she would be willing to put quite a bit of money on a shutdown due to psychological trauma.

Some people's coping methods include apathy, and considering how much she has been wishing to function properly, it could be merely a blank slate to cover up something much worse, brimming right underneath the surface of her conscious thoughts. Either way, she is happy to have human company.

The way Misho looks at her when she details her plan, however, leaves clear that he wants to ask the hardest question of them all: 'and then _what_?' What will they do once they're in a place that isn't trying to kill them with sheer cold and constant snow? There is nowhere to go - only reasons to run.

Yet he doesn't say anything, and she is grateful for that. Sakura is also trying to figure out the mystery behind the disaster of this kid's family, but it's something she doesn't dare ask. After all, it's entirely possible that something she has no clue about happened, and indebted either them or Misho with some shady person.

"You and I need to do chakra control exercises," she comments, sighing and sitting against a pile of sheets. Misho skims through one of the guides detailing Water's culinary traditions, clearly wishing he could have some of these dishes instead of canned food. He nods and sits close enough to maintain a proper conversation, still immersed in his investigation. "Maru offered help."

"Hell no!" the kid snaps, terrified, looking at the rat as if the rodent had just come crawling from the underworld.

"Hell yes, ah," replies the rat, smirking. He doesn't bother to move from his comfy place inside a cracked up geode. Sakura would think it's strangely cute, if not for the fact that Maru forced her to carry the damn rock all the way over here. "You two are like walking bombs with the time ticking down, ah."

"You're a horrible teacher!" cries Misho, frowning, He looks at Sakura pleadingly, as she raises an eyebrow. What did she miss? "He almost drowned and burned me!"

"...At the same time?" she questions, glaring at the rat, who merely fakes a yawn nonchalantly.

"Please!" the boy begs, bowing down in a last attempt to escape what seems to be some sort of cruel fate. Sakura's gaze jumps between the two of them, torn between amusement and anger. Well, at least this won't be as boring as having to deal with her numbness alone.

* * *

"When you focus, you look like you really need to take a dump, ah," the rat comments, mercilessly. Misho groans and furrows his brows, but doesn't say anything. "You don't have to show off, Twat. Just keep your mind where it has to be, ah."

_It would be much easier if you weren't pestering him constantly._

Sakura watches as the boy attempts to free himself, for the umpteenth time, of the rat's seal. Misho sits against a crate, his body completely immobile. Whatever Maru did to him, it made him lose the ability to move - apparently, if the right amount of chakra is applied to certain spots of his body, for a few seconds, that part will be freed from the jutsu.

" _Kurozuka_ is designed to leech you off your chakra - your life energy, ah. A master of the jutsu would be able to take away every single drop of your blood, or even the water in each of your body's cells. The longer you take, the harder it will be to break free. If you don't manage to free at least one limb, you're going to sleep like this tonight, ah" adds Maru, shamelessly taking advantage by sitting atop the kid's head.

"If you make his condition worsen, I'm kicking you out, Maru," warns the pinkette, taking a peek over the scroll she is reading. The rodent scoffs, but it's Misho's desperate expression that catches her glance. Her features soften immediately, giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Misho, you need incentive to learn. Just don't panic, okay? If anything goes wrong, I'm right here."

He can't nod at her, so he sighs instead. _Kurozuka_ is one of the strange jutsu that Maru knows how to perform. Now that she can see him executing these techniques clearly, she can see that he uses both his front paws and his tail to perform signs, aiding himself with the bō. The function of the staff is unknown, but the rodent is able to do them in a silent, breezy manner.

 _As if he had done them many more times before_.

How long has the rat been alive, anyway? He doesn't look old or crippled, but figuring out the exact age of the rodent is something difficult. It's just an average rat, with outstanding agility and reflexes, and the ability to talk and use jutsu. That's as much as she knows about him. The techniques he is able to perform are something out of the norm, at least for humans, but perhaps she could convince him to teach her.

Sakura forces herself to focus and return her eyes to the current scroll she is reading. Maru insists on teaching only one of them at the time, so while the kid practices she busies herself with investigation about Frost's villages. Truth be told, there aren't that many - they are centered around ancient black monoliths, or what is left of them.

The biggest one, of course, is Shimo - just like she knew, any civilization in this part of the world consists of buildings surrounding the strange stones. The rest is pretty much an empty, unwelcoming tundra. Getting lost would be fatal, but finding landmarks isn't going to be easy.

The people here move around by using sleds pulled by wolf-like dogs - apparently, the canines were bred to have an outstanding sense of direction. However, there were none of these animals left in Shimo. Judging by how much the people in here seemed to love these creatures, it's not strange that they didn't leave them behind.

Nice of them, but it might just royally screw her and her tiny group over.

What is even better is that each tiny island or archipelago of the Land of Water is said to have its own culture - and even her, a dedicated scholar, isn't entirely sure about which one would be the best option to go to. Hell, there are many places of the world that are barely documented, because of the constant wars and the nations' reluctance to trust each other.

_Information isn't free, it's always been something that has to be gained or stolen._

"Pinky, get your nose out of your books and get some work done," chirps Maru, snapping her out of her ruminations. Sakura looks up, confused, but wondering what was the reason for the rat's change of ideas. "Meditate, ah." She raises an eyebrow, but the rodent isn't even looking at her. "You can't fix the issues with the _outside_ if you're still a mess _inside_ , ah," he adds, making her stop just when she is going to inquire for a reasoning.

She remembers his words: there _is_ a restricting seal planted on her, but it goes much deeper than her skin. _Ningyo_ , he called it - the Puppet Seal. Maru refused to explain it to her unless she managed to fulfill his first exercise, which he has just given her. What a way to motivate his students… She can see why Misho dislikes him.

The rat claims to be able to track natural chakra, even after it's absorbed by living bodies - according to him, he can follow it as it flows through a creature's system, and thus determine the most essential malfunctions. As of now, he is the only one who seems to have a clue about what exactly is going on, so maybe listening to him won't be a bad idea. As long as he doesn't get too cocky, that is.

_Meditating? That should be easy!_

Sakura closes her eyes, crossing her legs and taking a deep breath. She decides to take the easy way and let the numbness overcome her. Its dark emptiness is a welcome relief to her troubled mind, and soon she finds herself completely immersed by the exercise.

A lonely bell rings in the distance.


	19. Master and Slave | Arc II: Runaway

_Bonds are like silk thread, even in the soft touch like that of a feather..._

Sakura only notices that she has slipped into some sort of mindscape when she tries to look around, to _move_ \- and she can't. There's only darkness, as far as she can see. She can't feel a single inch of her body, she can't…

 _Breathe_.

That is not her voice. That isn't any voice she can't recognise, even though she knows she heard it somewhere before. A memory… but there are so many. So many faces, so many people dead and... gone, gone, _gone_ -

_Stop._

It sounds like… bells. Yes, there are bells in the distance, their cadency slow, like a lullaby. It makes her think of a peaceful night, a full moon drawing silver lines on concrete and wood, the summer breeze rustling the leaves of the trees in Konoha. Oh, _Konoha_. Are they alright?

She wants to ask, she wants to _speak_ , but she can't do anything. She's trapped in this darkness, and… it's difficult to remember where did she come from. There was a rat, right? And a kid. And it smelled like soil. It was a small room, too. And then, darkness. Did she die? The memories, the thoughts… they're slipping away!

No, she can't let them go, if she does… she will be nothing. _A name. What's my name_. She can't let them go! Without them… without them she's already nothing. No… She can't cry, because she isn't even sure she has a face. Yet she can hear the bells, so she must have ears.

 _Listen closely_.

There's that voice again. It's familiar, but… not really, no. Like it reminds her of something - someone else. Dark, and deep. _Velvety, like…_ Like the crow feather. But she can't recall a name, only the sensation of the black item in her fingers, brushing against her skin. She does have a body, because she can feel it now, too - like her whole self is caressed by travelling feathers, each one unique, different.

They define the outline of what should be her figure, each faint touch reassuring her that at least, she hasn't faded into oblivion. And the voice is asking her to listen, but it isn't speaking. Maybe it's talking about the bells, then. So she does, and as soon as he puts her mind into it, the girl can feel each detail of the song, the little things that she missed before.

It sounds like… like…

* * *

A kunai soars through the air, hitting the bullseye of the target. A childish giggle echoes in the distance, a tone she knows very well. This is a small triumph, she remembers. She looks around and finds a complex contraption made out of wire and kunai, perfectly calculated to launch one of the blades right into the center of the circle.

_I remember this. I couldn't hit if I tried to throw directly, but… I could always set up traps and roundabouts. This was the first time it worked!_

Which means that the voice… _it has to be her own!_ Maybe then she can remember the name. But the girl can't turn around, frozen in place once more, her gaze trained on the three bells that her kunai clearly pinned to the target, by the cord attached to them. She threw them in the air randomly, didn't she? Yes… And she practiced for hours to find a way to hit them.

_I did it!_

* * *

The world fades into nothingness once more, but this time she can hear the bells clearly, she can picture them dangling next to the target. There is the loud giggle of her younger self, but the face is blurry, framed by hair whose color she can't identify. It reminds her of something, a bright and vivacious thing, like…

_Not yet. Keep listening._

She obeys, understanding that this voice wants her to solve an important problem. Whoever is talking is trying to help her… by making her figure it out on her own. She isn't complaining. The sensation of fading away, of being reduced to _nothing_ in an endless void… anything, but that.

This sound is different… melancholic, sad. It doesn't sound nice, making her heart ache - or well, at least the approximate place where her chest should be. It's the same person as before, herself, but… why is she crying?

* * *

There's someone she knows, a boy around her age. She can't see this time, but she can smell the fragrance of the forest, feel the grass under her bare feet and hear… _oh no_.

_I was supposed to track him with my other senses. He's going to hit me. He's-_

Wait, he said her name, he's not hurting her. Maybe he noticed that she is nearly cowering, expecting a hit to come out of nowhere. He calls her, but the name is blurry, though he seems fond of saying it, if only a bit confused about her reaction.

_I did this all the time, before. Instead of fighting, I would be unable to move, to react… My Shishou wanted me to train with him, to condition my muscles… but who is my Shishou? And who is this guy?_

She thought she was crying, but this… memory, or whatever it is, seems to be just a sparring match. _I must be a shinobi, then. Well, a kunoichi. I think._ But why the overwhelming sadness that she feels, like a hand clenched around her heart? Did something happen? Whatever it is, in this moment it made her younger self feel utterly devastated.

But the sparring doesn't stop - in fact, she can hear herself screaming at her partner to be harsher. To bury one pain with another, and force her to snap out of it. Inside, she's falling apart, but outside it looks like everything is alright. And then she heals both of them with a green, soothing chakra. As if there hadn't been any pain at all.

_That's right. I hid it as best as I could, but it was still there. Where did it come from?_

* * *

The ground vanishes from underneath her feet, but the smell remains - it's familiar, hauntingly so, bringing nostalgia and longing to her mind. She wants to go back, but she can't. Probably not until she understands what the voice is trying to tell her. What did she learn from this? What connects both scenarios?

When she saw the memory with the kunai and the target, she overcame a problem by doing it her own way. That's right, if she focused on the bullseye she would miss every time, but it was stupidly easy to do it if she was _indirect_. No, that's not the right word... She just did it in her own way. If she didn't think about it too much, finding a workaround instead, as weird as it might have looked like.

Then maybe, the fight she just saw was part of her training, too. But what was she learning for? It didn't look like just a job for her, she was a shinobi for a reason, though… _what_? She was trying to become better for something, or… because of someone? And she was hurting, she wasn't a prodigy when it came to physical abilities, but she tried to overcome it.

_Why?_

* * *

Another scene - a flutter of the heart, soft like the wingbeat of a butterfly, yet the intensity of these emotions makes her whole body tremble. It's happy, breezy, so strong it hurts. There is a name for this emotion, for this feeling… is it _love_? It has to be. It makes her feel _alive_ , so painfully conscious of every inch of her body, of the way the voice talks, of the wounds she can feel on her younger body.

There he is, walking away and enveloped in darkness. But she doesn't want him to go, because he will do bad things, and his own hatred will eat him. _Stop. I have to stop him!_ And she runs, despite the dizziness and the injuries, her arms reaching out, _don't go, don't do it…_

Her arms close around his body, and she holds him for her dear life, for _his_. Maybe this is dumb and he will turn against her, because she's not good enough, not important enough… but he doesn't. And there they remain, frozen in time, the dark tendrils of his skin receding, his aura changing when the tainted chakra goes back to its seal.

He turns around, and she lets go, and they look at each other for what feels like an eternity. The name comes to her mind immediately - _Sasuke-kun._ He's… okay. She saved him! She can't read his expression, but there is something glinting in those eyes… a spark. His hand reaches out for her, and she gulps, nervous.

 _I remember this… but it didn't happen like that_.

No, it did not. The forest melts into a clash of black and grey, and crimson and purple. His eyes… his hand! It encircles her throat, squeezing painfully, making it impossible for her to breathe. He's pinning her down, he's too heavy. And there's something in his hand, something writhing that seems to be made of pure darkness.

With one swift motion, he plunges his fist into her heart, and she lets out a strangled cry, feeling the snaking tendrils inch across her body, everywhere, ensnaring her and dragging her down, into the darkness… with him.

* * *

She fights, but it's impossible to escape. She can't move, but she can _feel_ things that make her skin crawl. He's… what is he doing? Is it a punishment? Why does it feel so horrible? It's… like being twisted in the hands of a demented puppeteer.

_Ningyo._

That's right. She's always been a puppet, dancing for him. And she did something he didn't like, something… that threw him over the edge. Maybe he was mad and she got in the way, but he didn't kill her. No, this darkness… this is her own heart, her soul. This is what he did.

The bells, the feathers… they're somewhere, in the darkness. They never left her. She was never… alone. Only lost, afraid to the point that she cowered - like she did in the sparring. Somewhere in this false void, there has to be light. If only she could find the way out!

 _Follow them_.

And she does, musing about this person, _Sasuke-kun_. Why is he so important? To be fair, he wasn't ugly by any stretch… and he had this mysterious aura. Alluring, yes, but is that all? Could such emotions come from mere _looks_? He definitely looked more like a monster, after the mask wore off.

There's footsteps now. The girl has the vague sensation of walking, but she can't really tell what sort of terrain it is. The bells sound clearer than ever, and there are fragments of voices scattered in between them. They're familiar, but once more she is unable to put a name to them.

She can see the silhouettes of trees, just out of her focus, passing by her sides. She knows these trees, mighty and imposing, their shadows falling on the path she walks on. This is the smell she noticed earlier, this is the place where the bells melt into quiet breezes, invisible whispers.

There's a myriad of crow feathers, carried by the cold breeze of dawn. It's dark, but she knows it will be day soon enough. And then she will be able to _see._ The girl forces herself to sprint, trying to reach her goal faster, because there is the impression of a lurking danger, hiding in the shadows. And she doesn't want to be trapped again.

_The truth is always between two contradictions, between two opposites. Yet together, they create harmony._

Light, dark. The sun is rising! She can see the faint glow, past the leaves and the outline of a mountain. She's in a limbo, running from oblivion and trying to reach safety, but it's like no matter how much she runs, she will never leave her predator behind.

Love, hate. Sasuke… he did such horrible things to her, and she feels like she isn't the only one. It makes her blood boil, to think of someone who would be able to do that. But at the same time, she knows that she loves him. She tried reaching out for him, didn't she? Maybe, just like in her memory, he's trapped in the darkness too. He can't see… and at that thought, she only wants to help him.

 _Sun and Moon_. She can see the white, selene light that rises in the dark sky behind her. They're going to clash, there's going to be an eclipse! And that means… that no matter how much she runs, there will always be darkness.

She stops right in her tracks, panting. She hasn't made any progress in reaching the light, but the monsters behind her haven't caught up either. They sound like voices, venomous and filled with resentment. Did she do something to upset them? Either way, she feels like time is running out, like something will happen soon… but it's hard to figure out if it's bad or not.

_There is nowhere to run._

Fine, then. She searches for the source of the voice, but it seems to come from everywhere at once. The girl decides to sit down on the ground, crossing her legs and looking up at the sky. Yes, it's turning day… but the light isn't right. She might not remember her own name, but she knows the sky shouldn't be pink. The sun shines red, snakes of fire erupting from the surface as if looking for prey.

On the other side of the sky, the full moon rises, and this time she almost feels the urge to scoff at how brightly, annoyingly _green_ it is, dragging a cloak of dark purple behind it… thousands of twinkling stars follow, appearing in the sky and shining with many different colors. No, they're not stars, they're _feathers,_ floating freely in the wind. And they sing, sounding like bells. So that's where the sound came from!

Mesmerized by the sight, she watches as the two orbs move towards each other. To her left, she can see the sunlight, drawing the lines of the trees and leaves. And there's bodies, black fire and crimson rivulets running across the ground. From the right, there's the light of the feathers, the shadows and voices inching closer, closer…

She's right in the middle. The girl looks up when she notices the diminishing light, as the moon passes in front of the sun… the two scenarios clashing. The shadows invade the bodies, reanimating them and replaying scenes of when they were alive - friends, foes, even people she knows, but didn't remember.

The voices are all around her, both threatening and comforting. Laughter and cries of agony, intermixing in an unending cacophony. She wants to curl up and scream, close her eyes and wake up, wake up, _wake up!_

But then she hears it, the soft splash of water. She opens her eyes, and finds a circular pond in front of her, its water pristine and so deep she can't see the bottom. Something fell inside, maybe a pebble, causing ripples and distorting the reflection. This is her chance! If she can remember who she is, she will know what to do! She saw it in her memories, she saw what she can do!

She scoots closer, kneeling over the edge and trying to see her own face. There, framed by pink hair… She blinks a few times, her emerald eyes lit up with something akin to excitement. A name floats to the surface of her conscious thoughts, and then…

Something bright lands on the water, carried by the morning breeze. And then another, and another… she looks up, and finds herself underneath the cover of a blooming sakura tree, petals and flowers carried away by the wind. There's no feathers anymore, and now she sits in the middle of a meadow. She recognises this place.

Yet it's withering, the forest surrounding it filled with Voices and lurking shadows. The grass is becoming dull and grey, and the tree itself will soon be just a dead husk. What's happening? Why is it dying?

_Suffocation._

She… can see the patterns that flow along the shadows, the sky and the ground; the snaking tendrils, fuming with a chakra that she can only describe as evil. They constrict around everything, choking out the life, slowly killing it.. And they're on her skin too, crawling up, to her face, to her eyes…

No, not the void again! But how can she stop it? There has to be a way! Focus, _Sakura,_ focus!

...Sakura?

A flood of memories and emotions comes rushing into her mind, nearly collapsing her thoughts. Through the eyes of a girl, one with pink hair and green eyes… someone marked as _smart, but not a genius._ Someone _talented, but not a prodigy_.

A person with _so much potential, yet without goal, merely watching time pass by._

That's her. Sakura Haruno. But… that's not all there is. The memories she saw before showed that she isn't _useless_. The bullseye and the bells, the pain she fought to overcome, her effort to save Sasuke from the darkness. Those are no one else's experiences - it was her. And now, she remembers so much more.

She had a goal - to be stronger, to protect the ones she loves, to save Sasuke. No matter what. _I did it._ And if she did all of that, she can't let herself be beaten by some… darkness in her head! Saying it is much easier than doing it, but she believes. Instead of freezing in place and letting it engulf her being again, Sakura struggles and fights against the tendrils.

They burn against her skin, sucking out her life energy, but she refuses to let them win. No, not now that she finally remembers _who she is._

"I'm no one's puppet!" she hollers, forcing her lips apart and shouting at top of her lungs. Her body is too weak, causing her to fall over, barely managing to stand on her knees and feet. She looks up, though not in prayer or in look of strength… but announcing. Telling the whole world! "My only master is me, and I'll be damned if I let myself down, shānnarō!"

Her skin feels like it will melt off in any moment, but the voices around her have gone quiet, the tendrils shivering as if they could react to her voice. She can see the shadows, watching, waiting… but unable to come closer. Are they afraid?

"I've had enough of listening to your bullshit!" she continues, encouraged, channeling her pain into strength for her words. "I'm the one who should be talking here, so _shut up and hear my voice!_ "

She's up on her feet, somehow. She runs towards the cherry blossom tree, determined to save it no matter the cost. She doesn't even know how to do it, but… aren't unorthodox plans her way to tackle problems? Throwing herself between danger and her beloved things and people, to buy more time…

Sakura stumbles, her body weak and constricted, the pain only growing at every passing second. Her heart is beating like it's going to explode… but she won't give up, dammit! Not when she's this close to getting a hold of her precious memories!

The shadows react, rushing towards the center of the meadow. They're everywhere, there's so many… she is going to die, and she knows it. But she'll die fighting, trying to protect them - the treasures of her heart. With a last sprint, she jumps towards the trunk of the tree, hand stretched out and fingers trying to reach out…

When she touches it, a burst of light seeps through the cracks in the withering wood, blinding her for a moment. The shadows scream - this time, they're the ones who are scared. She… she saved them! The memories, the trees… The bells ring in chorus around her, and the light starts to slowly fade away. But she knows it isn't the end, nor the start of oblivion. No - this is a new day.

There's figures outlined against the light, and she can recognise them. They smile, and cheer, and greet her as she runs through the meadow, looking for someone in particular. And there he is, his blond hair and orange clothes making everything else seem dull. He gives her a thumbs up, a wide grin spreading through his face, and she wants to burst out laughing.

"I did it, Naruto! _I DID IT...!_ "

* * *

He wakes up somewhere cold, sweating profusely and feeling his own heart beat much faster than it should. What's this feeling? It seems to clash against everything else in his being, yet it doesn't seem completely foreign.

It makes his stomach churn with unease, like nothing did since _that_ fight. He doesn't like it one bit, but he can't remember what did he dream. There was a forest, something familiar… and someone walking, running. But he wasn't watching as a bystander, it was as if he could see from everywhere at once.

He wasn't a pawn, but part of the dream, part of the environment. There was a flash of light, and he heard _Her_. And then, she ran towards him - no, towards _Naruto_ , happier than he ever remembers seeing Her. The dream ended, and he woke up in his own room, as empty as usual.

"My, my, it seems like my dearest sweetheart had another nightmare~!" chirps a familiar voice, venomously. He ignores her, hoping she'll go away. But if it didn't work before, why would it now? "Do you want a cuddle? A hug, some human warmth to wrap you nice and soft, perhaps?" she purrs, standing at the feet of his mattress.

He glares at her, but the pinkette merely laughs. It's like that every time… provoking him, baiting him. She knows what spots to hit, and he wishes he could kill her.

But no, he can't even fight her. Because he knows the truth - there is no one else in the room.


	20. Raise the Tide | Arc II: Runaway

_If you think you're unlucky for having to hide, you know nothing about those who must stand._

"What the _hell_ did you do to me?" Sakura grumbles for the umpteenth time, pressing a handful of packed snow against her forehead. It has been hours, and she still feels pain with every heartbeat. Her skin is covered by dark, fuming lines that just scream _wrong_ at her eyes, and her whole body feels tense, sore.

On top of that, when she woke up she was met by the most stunned silence from Misho (who somehow managed to break free of his seals) and Maru, who had the biggest shit-eating grin she has ever seen on him.

"Me?" the rat replies, innocently. "I did nothing, ah."

Sakura narrows her eyes and glares at him, pointing an accusatory finger towards the corner of the greenhouse. Misho watches them like it's some sort of ball-passing sport, seemingly trying to melt with the background. He has a reason to be intimidated, to be honest.

"Then what, for Kami's sake, is _that_." The pinkette throws a sideways glance to the main issue she has with this whole situation. The _thing_ in question pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and appearing dejected. The rat raises his front paws, as if making a mockery shrug.

"You're mean," the rodent comments, a tinge of amusement dripping into his voice. Somewhere, she hears Misho coughing, as if he had just choked on his own spit.

"Excuse me?!" Sakura retorts, groaning when a new flash of blinding pain makes her head spin. She groans lowly, pressing the snow against her forehead. If only she could sink into that cold bliss… "You know more than I do, damn it! Is it that hard to tell me?" the kunoichi grumbles, closing her eyes and sighing.

Too many questions. Even now, the line between reality and illusion is blurry - the cloaked figure standing in the corner of the greenhouse, as casual as he could be, doesn't really help. She doesn't even want to look at him, because everytime she does, there are just so many things that don't make sense.

He's tangible. He emits _light_ \- a golden, soft glow, dancing like flames as part of his aura. And both the rat and the frightened kid can see him.

But that does not mean this person should be here.

"That kills the fun," comments Maru, as if this was a trivial matter that merely amuses him. The nerve of the little jerk… She gives him a look that speaks of deep hatred and maybe a tad of murderous intent.

' _Something else might die if you keep doing this._ ' But she doesn't voice it, instead curling up and resting her head on her knees, holding the snow with them. Her hands are now free, so she busies herself with toying around with the soil. There has to be an explanation for all of this. Either it's all an illusion and both the boy's and rat's actions aren't real, or there really is a third person standing in the room with them.

Maru tried to bash into her head the concept of answering the questions she asks, instead of waiting for someone else to do it. He let her rant for hours so she wouldn't feel like she was going crazy. She was reluctant at first, since her ability to tell truth from lie isn't exactly reliable, but he insists that she can't rely on other people for this. Or anything, really.

"You have to do this crap on your own from now on, ah," he repeats, clearly aware of her ruminations. Somehow, he is able to predict the vast majority of her thought processes, chiming in only to reiterate his points. As a companion, he is a _dick_ ; as a teacher, he is unyielding and brutal, but he _knows_. "We need specifics, by the way, I'm not a magician," he adds, finally deciding to be helpful, if only because he must sense that she won't argue further.

"I was meditating, and then suddenly I started hearing things," she recalls, giving in. "Sometimes I hear… bells. They can be small or… deep, something that you would expect in a temple. When I hear them, I know my mind slipping. They're connected to… whatever is wrong with my head," Sakura continues. "They're everywhere. It's like they… cover up other sounds. Like voices. Screams, too…"

 _It's a coping mechanism_. She knows that much. When she was in her mindscape, she recalls the caws of crows turning into bells. The sound of death turning into something much more soothing, but still filled with whispers and tainted words. Underneath lies the cause of her insanity. Yet she has never paid much attention to it, merely trying to fight and block it out.

It never seemed wise to dwell on that and mess with things that distort her perception of reality. Yet something went wrong, because _Naruto_ is standing in the greenhouse with them. There is something real in him - otherwise, she would be the only one able to perceive his presence. Which is, much to her surprise and fear, not the case.

"There was a voice." Her voice quivers ever so slightly, as she gulps and forces herself to keep calm. "I know I've heard it somewhere. It wasn't my inner voice, or one of my friend's. But I'm pretty sure I heard it somewhere. After a while, I couldn't remember who I was, so I panicked. He told me to calm down and… listen. And I started seeing memories."

"There are many kinds of memories, ah."

"...Nice ones. Of when I was training to get better. But I didn't know my name. He showed me, though. The person I worked to be, and why." It feels like she is talking about a stranger. The dissociation with her past self is frightening, the sensation of recalling her own memories foreign. "He gave me a reason. A purpose."

_You are thinking of the wrong one._

"Not the voice," she corrects, nearly twitching at the urgency of the thought. It doesn't even sounds like herself. "Sasuke. The reason…" Sakura glances once more at the impossibly clear figure of Naruto, appeared out of nowhere. No, he's very much dead, she knows. "I wasn't chosen by Kami to do this, but by him. When he left me alive, he put a responsibility on my shoulders. "

"So many fancy words, but ah, you haven't explained the reason," comments Maru, breaking her from the daydreamt image of an eclipse. She doesn't even bother to show him her annoyance.

"I'm the last one. If I give up, if I'm gone, his darkness will win. There will be no one to stop it."

_The world will sink in chaos. Another era of endless wars._

"I am sure there are plenty of people who will fight to the death against him, ah. The world's full of passionate idiots like that," the rat retorts, huffing at the ominosity. ' _Dammit, Maru, can you take_ anything _seriously?_ '

She raises a hand, still covered with black tendrils and dirt. It feels heavy, numb… but it's hers. Sakura lifts her head, leaning against the wall with a sigh. Her own eyes scan her skin thoroughly, thoughtfully. Yet there is no denial to be had.

"I'm his last bond to humanity. And he hates me for it."

The words come out faster than she can muse over them, and Sakura feels the need to slap a hand over her mouth, as if she had spoken profanity. It feels _wrong_.

"This darkness isn't mine. It's his. _Ningyo_ \- a seal to trap me and force me to submit. If he can't sever the bond, he will..."

_With one swift motion, he plunges his fist into her heart, and she lets out a strangled cry, feeling the snaking tendrils inch across her body, everywhere, ensnaring her and dragging her down, into the darkness… with him._

"Take me down with him."

"It's good to see you use that brain of yours sometimes, ah," comments Maru, nodding approvingly. This time, Sakura throws her pack of snow at him, but he dodges. He always does. However, she feels emotionally and psychologically exhausted, so she doesn't bother finding something else to use as an impromptu weapon.

Putting her brain through the painful work of organising the information she knows and its implications has taken its toll. There are still too many questions that she can't answer, and may never be able to. After all, the only person who could give a proper response to the vast majority of them is hell-bent on destroying her.

"Is that why he did all of that?" she blurts out, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. There is a knot in her throat, her heart skipping beats each time she focuses on the specifics of the situation.

"That is something only you might be able to understand, if you are truly the last one sharing a bond with him, ah."

"No. I can't think of anything else." Eyelids shut again, Sakura takes a deep breath. "I don't know why me, though. He killed Naruto - but not me. It's not like I could defend myself. I have read about many jutsu, too, and never in my life had I heard about _Ningyo._ "

_Think about it closely. There is something you are missing._

"Geez, why is everyone so cryptically useless?" she grumbles, rubbing her temples. The pain isn't ebbing at all, but there isn't much she can do. Her remedies didn't work on the headache. "I don't get it, Maru. I don't understand anything at all," Sakura protests, voicing one of the sentiments that has been bothering her for months.

So helpless. All this time, she has been dragged around by forces out of her control. And she doesn't like it one bit. Sakura might not be the _sharpest kunai_ , but even she knows that her capabilities go beyond cowering at the slightest hint of either Sasuke or nightmares. And now, admittedly, she is growing tired of it.

The fact that she has regained control over her own mind is still, at best, a pyrrhic victory - it only opened more and more space for questions, for _thinking_ and going over the things that torment her, over and over.

The answers are hidden somewhere in the fog of her mind, in between dark memories and faces she doesn't want to remember. Sasuke is the point that ties everything together - cause, reason, _purpose_ and _demise._ He has always been in a special place of her heart, far or near… Tentatively, the pinkette opens and closes her fist, watching as the tendrils force her skin to stretch.

' _I'm still a puppet. Wherever I go, his shadow is there,_ ' she muses.

"If he is still with you, it must be because you don't want to let go, ah," the rat comments, and it takes a few moments for her to realise that he's talking about Naruto. The apparition grins when she finally looks at him in the eye, but she only frowns in response.

"You said there is more to my… visions than mere insanity," she says, convinced that the rat knows something that could help her immensely if he just _told her_. "I had a crow feather, didn't I? And you could hear it." This is one thing she hadn't thought about, her mind already drowning in a myriad of thoughts, each one threatening to finally break her.

The rat mutters something in a low voice, a word that sounds suspiciously like a curse, and shakes his tail from side to side. That look in his face is new: unmasked, true annoyance.

"That is true," he admits. "Don't tell me you haven't made the connection yet, because I can and _will_ forcefully knock sense into that coconut head you have, ah."

A crow feather. The proof that there were some of these creatures when she stumbled her way to the cave - yet there was no trace of them afterward. Since then, the scattered pieces of their plumage has been part of nearly everything, as one of the layers of illusions that kept her from succumbing to insanity. A barrier, like the bells.

An _illusion_.

"Itachi!" she snaps, nearly jumping up to her feet. She regrets it the moment a wave of pain and nausea hits her like a boulder, her limbs trembling and burning under the spell of the tendrils.

Heaving, she coughs, a newfound stream of thoughts rushing through her mind. There's blood on her clothes, but she doesn't care. It makes _so much damn sense_ that she feels dumb for not thinking about it earlier. But after all, how could she think of it? She didn't _know_ Itachi - but she is aware of his proficiency with genjutsu.

"Weasel's a bastard even after he's dead, ah," the rat comments, disdain tainting every syllable like poison. What could he know about the Uchiha?

That voice. It had to be his. But she can't compare Itachi to people like Naruto or Ino. He was a stranger, someone she heard about and was strictly ordered to avoid by her superiors in Konoha. There is no reason for him to be part of her dreams now, especially because he was already dead when Sasuke lost his mind. She knows that much.

But how is he related to this whole debacle? There is no chance for him to have placed a jutsu on her, right? And even if that was the case, she can't see a reason for that. It makes no sense, none at all. There's a string she is missing here.

As if something in her mind had been waiting for this moment, a flash of memories springs to the front of her conscious thoughts.

_She can feel it in the air… as if a storm is about to unleash. No, it has already started - thunder striking down people one by one, the air charged with the lingering remains of death and the promise of more. She knows, because there are screams of agony that she can't get out of her ears. She looks down, and everything is filled with blood, crimson rivulets that speak of calamity._

_A massacre. And the perpetrator, the artist whose sword and hands are painting everything with red, stands not far away from her, body trembling, head cast low and back turned to her. A monster radiating an aura of pure hatred. She reaches out…_

"The air was filled with life energy." Sakura forces herself to go back to the present, shutting down the need to curl into a ball and hold her legs tightly. Anything else feels _unsafe_. Yet her mind seems intent on recalling all the wild straws that she had missed before.

" _Sometimes… when a lot of people die, or when they have really strong feelings… well, ah, they leave an imprint on the world. It's a mark of chakra, but usually it's too small for humans to feel it._ "

Maru's very own words replay in her head, and her eyes widen at the thought that he _knew_ since the moment they met. Maybe even before that. Haunted places exist for a reason, don't they? Houses where entire families were murdered, temples that burnt down… battlefields, where humans die en masse, either suffering a quick death or after hours, even days of agony.

She was exposed to all of that for days, bereft of her own chakra and surrounded by nightmarish illusions, similar to the ones in Shimo. Maru could perceive them, and they could cause harm, and even alter their surroundings. Whatever they are, it can't be just her imagination. They exist outside her. They _react_ to her.

Whatever these things are, they become agitated when she is present - at least, that is as much as she can gather from her many encounters with 'people' that shouldn't be there, to the point where she stopped being able to discern reality from illusion.

There must be a reason for their virulent hatred of her person. Until now, she wasn't even aware that these things existed, so _why_? Is it because she should be dead? Because they can sense Sasuke's energy, embedded into the seal that chains her chakra?

' _Not all of them are evil_ ,' she reminds herself. The most memorable of these encounters was… Ino. The Yamanaka stopped her from losing her mind during one of her breakdowns in Yu. She was tangible, if only for a brief second.

It's true that not all of these spirits, if she dares to call them so, are out to get her. In fact, most seemed content with just hanging around quietly. She remembers trying to ignore them with all of her might, because she didn't want a repeat of what happened when she first arrived to Yugakure.

What makes the difference? She has seen Naruto both as a supportive figure when she passed out (twice) and as one of the blurred out shapes that tried to kill her. The headache is only growing in intensity with every passing second, but she wants to _understand_. Sakura feels like she is so close to figuring out some key part of a big puzzle, that giving up now is just not an option.

"You know, the bastard is not the only one you have a bond with." For the first time, this imprint, or spirit, or whatever it is of Naruto speaks, and she finds her jaw coming loose, realisation hitting her like a ton of bricks, her eyes darting towards Naruto once more. It can't be…

But they were _gone_! Everything disappeared. Everyone. They can't just be back, it can't be that easy. They're _dead_ for Kami's sake!

"Where did you go?" she mutters, finally addressing the blond shinobi. Her voice is on the edge of cracking, but there is an underlying tinge of anger that keeps her going. " _Where the hell did you go?!_ "

A flare of pain surges in her head, the tendrils constricting and veiling the world around her with darkness. A primal instinct awakes in her, one she hadn't been aware of before… one that shouldn't be there.

Her eyes are trained on Naruto's, her body tense and ready to spring up to action. To fight, to _kill_ if it's needed…

"I didn't go anywhere," he whispers, squatting down to be at the same level as she is. The way he speaks… he's holding something back. She knows. It isn't like him to talk like this.

"Don't coddle me," she grumbles, resting her head against the wall and blinking slowly, trying to flush away the pure, vile anger that pools inside her. "I'm not a little girl, Naruto."

He mutters something in a low voice, ruffling his hair and seeming conflicted, but finally he sighs. She merely watches him, appreciating the glimpse of his inner fire that his irises reflect. This is closer to the Naruto she knows, and not some washed out imitation.

"We made a deal, okay?" he explains, idly balancing himself on his sandals. "We couldn't tell you anything, because you had to learn to discern real from fake on your own. If we did… you might just get lost forever. To hell with that plan, it's not doing anything good," he adds, gritting his teeth.

"What are you talking about?" Sakura mumbles, feeling her muscles start to suffer from the constant strain. She might just pass out… but not yet, she won't let herself lose consciousness now.

"The stupid rat is saying the truth," he continues, pointing a derisive thumb towards the general location of Maru, though his eyes remain focused on hers. "When Sasuke-teme… sealed you, he didn't take into account that you were dying. The seal forced him to cram as much energy as he could into you. But he didn't have enough either - instead, the seal absorbed the energy that was lingering in the air. From all the people he just killed… like me."

He seems unfazed by the mention of his own death, but she winces at the thought. His was only the first of many…

"When people die, if their last wish or emotion is strong enough, they can leave a mark. But they need a vessel. And you were right there. Since your chakra is sealed within your body, all of that energy is still trapped within you," Naruto adds, pointing at her and frowning a little bit. "Your own soul… your mind, too - they're damaged. Your perception of reality is fucked up, and on top of that you have that extra life energy to deal with."

There is something in the glint of his eyes against the electric lights of the greenhouse - something fiery and determined. A light she has only seen in Naruto, when he lived.

"Sachi grabbed all of us and forced us to cooperate. There were even people that had nothing to do with you, can you believe it? Even some of the revived ones, like Itachi. As your deeper conscience, she could work while you were barely conscious. She ordered us, for your sake, to 'avoid intervention unless there was no other option, lest we drive you to complete insanity'. She wanted you to figure out things on your own, because relying on voices of your head is stupid," he snorts, shrugging. "To hell with that. You needed to know. I'm dead anyway, it's not like she can do more than get pissed at me."

Judging by the way he snickers, he had been waiting for a chance to rightfully piss off her inner voice for a while. Just what goes in the back of her mind when she isn't 'looking'?

"...That's it?" she mutters, dumbfounded. All along, the answers were right there? It can't be that easy. The mere thought is infuriating. Her _own_ inner voice refused to tell _her_ the truth - making her wonder if they are the same person at all. Great, like she needs a new issue to deal with.

Naruto nods, shrugging. It seems like there is not much else he has to add, but Sakura has spent way too much time lost in ruminations and dark thoughts - having the answer presented to her so effortlessly is shocking in its own way.

"There was no other way. That fat pile of rats tried to help, hell if I know why, but you weren't ready. You blocked everything out… and then Sasuke came barging in like the gigantic moron he is, and it got so bad that we thought you would never be able to deal with it. When you allowed yourself to meditate and relax, we took the chance. Got Itachi to hold you down a little and force you to listen, and _bam!_ You got out of it on your own!" he grins, approval and glee radiating off his already bright features.

There really _is_ something of the people she lost left. A mere imprint, a mark of what their souls used to be, but… she isn't alone. Sasuke's idea of putting this seal on her backfired horribly, at least for him. His intention of subjugating her will with chains made of literal darkness… failed.

But if this seal is his creation, if the chakra in her body is his… He didn't have enough energy, he was losing his mind.

"If he was so desperate, he might have overdone it. Perhaps a part of him slipped past… and now it's like I have a tiny part of his soul," she continues, eyes trained on the intricate, chaotic patterns of the black lines. "That's why it always…" she gulps, reminiscing something entirely unpleasant. "Why it always feels like he's right there. He never left."

Her heart skips a beat, goosebumps giving company to the shiver that runs down her spine. _He never left_. But is that true?

Shakily, she gets up to her feet, finding support on the wall. She refuses Misho's help. It hurts, the world spinning around her in a dizzying dance, but she refuses to go back down. And step by step, she approaches Naruto. Sakura spits blood, the metallic taste too familiar, though still unwelcome. Every centimeter of her feels strained, but she has to go on.

Her legs give out underneath her, causing her to fall over. But she never collides against the ground - Naruto's arms catch her before she hits, and lower her to the ground gently. Streams of sweat coat her forehead, her pink hair sticking to the skin unpleasantly. She looks up at those impossibly blue eyes, always full of energy and determination.

The world starts to fade into the darkness, as she tries to reach out, to confirm that he's there…

But it's too late. His image, the lights and the colors fade away, and she falls into an endless black pit, screaming, into a different person's embrace.

* * *

The scent of the sea reaches the pinkette's nostrils, a sudden slap that takes her out of her drowsy thoughts. The journey has been painful and tedious, and this is only another milestone in a road that seems to get more and more steep.

But it's an achievement nonetheless, and she takes a moment to close her eyes and breathe deeply. Her hair dances in the wind, the gelid breezes as unpleasant as ever. Compared to how dull her senses have gone over the last two days of travel, though, this is a very welcome change.

' _Oi, if you are trying to pretend you're a lighthouse, you're doing it wrong._ '

Sighing, Sakura turns around to ensure none of her companions have gotten somehow lost. She learned about Misho's proficiency regarding disappearing the hard way. Even with Maru on the boy's shoulder and a rope to tie the kid to her, the past days have been a nightmare. She has no clue how he does it, but it has become a source of annoyance instead of worry due to how often it happens.

And the fact that her nagging inner self has decided to come back to life doesn't help in the slightest. Now she has not only one, but two sassy jerks to deal with. Thankfully, the rat isn't able to communicate with Sachi, because then she would be deep in trouble.

"Why did you come back again?" she grumbles, relieved to see the poor boy barely managing to drag himself through the snow, towards her. Even though he follows her tracks, physical exercises don't seem to be his forte. All she could do for him, even though her body wasn't exactly ready to be strained, was take the part of the supplies he carried.

The last time she tried teaching him how to use a jutsu to make small sphere of fire to warm himself up with, a new coat was needed. And god forbid him from attempting to use chakra control to keep himself warm - carrying his unconscious body through the desolate Frost until she found something close to shelter wasn't _fun_.

Maru doesn't help either. He sits around, makes witty comments, pisses off Sachi _and_ Sakura and is mostly a pain in the ass. As her inner voice pointed out, with such _competent_ companions it would be a miracle they made it to Engetsu. But here they are, finally next to the sea, which is still unfrozen due to the proximity to the village.

Apparently, these people figured out how to keep the water melted… probably because they had ancestors from the Land of Hot Water. Even though there is probably no one else left, the waves keep drawing lines of seafoam on the surface of the water, rushing toward the shoreline, regardless of the chilling cold that envelops the world.

' _To protect you from the baddies, duh,_ ' replies her inner voice, dragging her out of her thoughts with her nonchalant response. Despite her mocking tone, Sakura knows she is saying the truth.

Sachi has been her lifeline in the past days - it's usually well-advised to avoid talking to voices in your head, but in this case, it was a choice between her and the _others_. While not as aggressive as they were in the past, the withered remains of the dead have come back to the surface of reality, and in a place that was torn by war, they react extremely badly to her presence.

Misho catches up, and Sakura basically forces him to stop and rest, regardless of his protests. Sitting against a rock, she watches the eerily peaceful landscape of the coastline. In the distance, she can make the outlines of Engetsu's buildings, and a few docks that have seen better times.

"To be honest, I don't know where to go from here," she admits, to no one in particular.

' _Cheer up - now you know you're not_ completely _crazy!_ ' chirps her inner voice, giving her the most fake thumbs up she has ever seen. Well, as much as she can see that.

Sighing, she feels the weight of Maru as he jumps on her shoulder and examines the landscape. She gives him a side glance, a sudden thought coming to her mind.

"Thank you."

His reply is as scornful as she would expect it to be - he doesn't even bother to give her a side glance.

"Sod off and pat your own back."


	21. Ride the Waves | Arc II: Runaway

_Underneath the sullen earth lies a seed waiting for a moment to break free._

A streetlight flickers as she walks underneath its beam of light, and Sakura can feel goosebumps rippling through her body in response. Something is off about this place, but it's impossible to pinpoint what without delving into paranoia. At first glance, there is nothing  _wrong_  with Engetsu: it's a small village, with maybe three dozen houses, each of them made of eroded black stone. It reeks of an obscure, ancient culture, lost in time.

This settlement has to be at least a couple centuries old, and that on its own is strangely nerve wracking. The dark, tortuous alleys and the many shadows in between the houses could hide many secrets… and perhaps, danger.

' _You could just say this place is creepy and be done with it._ ' Her Inner Voice mutters, but there is a tinge of tension that laces each of the words. And if her inner consciousness is  _nervous_ , then there really must be something strange going on. Almost without noticing, Sakura ensures her group is close enough together.

It's a cloudy night, to top it off, which makes everything even darker. Her fears are confirmed when, under the light of the moon, she spots a shadow that wasn't there before… standing in the middle of the path. Feral, icy blue eyes trained on her much more intently than she would like.

As soon as the moonlight is gone again, it disappears, despite standing straight under a still-working neon sign. A shiver runs down the pinkette's spine when she realises that maybe,  _just maybe_ , this is not a thing hiding only in her mind. She stops in her tracks, hand reaching out to grab Misho's shirt just in case

"Do you think this place could be like Shimo?" she mutters in a low voice, looking at nothing in particular. Her breath is distinctly quick, heartbeat accelerating to match the intensity of her fear. "You know, filled with angry spirits that hate my guts?"

Maru is quiet. She looks at him, but he seems to be watching something else, his head moving along one of the walls of a house, only a few meters away. The hammering in her chest grows, restless, as she follows the direction of the rat's gaze. It leads her to a patch of stone, adorned with silvery outlines and glimmers.

There is  _something_  crawling on the building, like an oversized spider missing half of its legs. The moment she puts her eyes on it, it glares back. The same cold, lifeless eyes… they are glassed over, like the ones of a dead fish. The thing tilts its head to the side, a quiet deadlock forcing Sakura to keep looking.

Something in her fears that, if she tears her gaze away from this thing, it will jump right at her. It's vaguely human-shaped, but that's as much as she can tell. Looking at it is like staring at pitch-black darkness. The thought that this thing (if it's the only one) crawling around, completely invisible, is enough to send anyone reeling into panic.

What is so off about it? Maybe she's expecting it to attack, but so far it hasn't done anything against them. She tries to find out why, and it takes an uncomfortably long period of time to figure out - the edges of the figure are fuzzy, distorting the wall behind it. It's as if this thing's image was merely overlaid atop the rest of the scenery.

Like a badly performed genjutsu. On cue, the thing chooses it's time to break the spell and visibly snarls, dozens of white fangs creating what has to be history's creepiest smile. It lunges forward, but this time, she is ready.

"Kai!"

Mere centimeters away from tearing off her face, the creature disappears. Sakura releases a breath she had unknowingly been holding, and looks around to see if there is anything else to take care off. However, the streets are empty again, although the eerie feeling of being watched from somewhere in the darkness remains.

She is ready to apply one of the most basic shinobi rules: if there is a trap, it's because someone set it up. Engetsu is by no stretch a ninja village -  _someone_  with very strong genjutsu capabilities was here. Or might still be, judging by how everything seems to be working: lights, chakra devices to keep away the frost and snow, and this strange technique that might haunt her nightmares later.

"You can sense chakra better than I can," she mutters, turning to the rat once more. Maru, in turn, is looking up at the bright orb of the moon. "Is there anyone besides us here? Alive," she adds, because the rat tends to look for every loophole in her questions, just to piss her off.

"Third house to the right, ah." He  _knew_ , probably since they stepped into the village. Was he testing her ability to figure out the trap? Nonetheless, Sakura feels confident enough now that she is aware of the trickery. While it means each step will have to be carefully calculated. There are  _people_  here - ninja, by the looks of it.

And if they're anything like her, if they too survived the massacre, they might be just as insane and paranoid. Her heart skips a beat at the thought of meeting them - if they are not foes, this could be the legitimate reencounter with  _allies_. She doesn't want to dare hope, but… the sole notion makes relieving reassurance spread through her heart.

She starts walking again, listening closely and trying to spots signs of any other trap. Only the distant sound of waves and two sets of footsteps break the spell of silence. Her steps take to the house Maru pointed out. Nothing makes it any different from all the others, but if the rat is right, there is someone in here.

The kunoichi gives a side-glance to the black-haired boy who accompanies her. He has been quiet, particularly since they left Shimo, though he seems to be anything but afraid.

"You should wait away from here," she whispers - even with the strange spectre gone, the sensation of being watched by avid eyes is unsettling. Sakura doesn't want to disturb whatever forces are causing  _that_ to happen.

"Like hell I'm leaving you alone," Misho replies, crossing his arms stubbornly.  _Goddammit._  This kid's fixation on her is going to get him killed at this rate! She wants to argue, putting her hands on her hips and applying her best serious expression to her features. He replies with a frown, but nonetheless refuses to comply.

"You've gotten in enough trouble because of me," she mutters, sighing. Would he be pissed if she just disabled his legs and arms for about ten minutes? No, that would leave him vulnerable. She tries to assess this situation with her legendary analysation skills, but it's clearly a battle of wills that won't be lost easily.

His lower lip quivers just slightly, and for a split second Sakura fears having to regret her choice of words, but he shakes his head vehemently.

"I won't get in the way, I promise," he pleads. The pinkette looks at Maru, desperately looking for help, but the rat seems to be very busy with his staff-juggling exercises.

"Fine. Like before - follow my orders," Sakura finally accepts, tentatively stepping towards the worn out wooden door. Her chakra-sensing skills are still quite skewed, but she has enough of them to help herself with opening it safely.

A small, stone lobby greets her gaze, its inconspicuous air only provoking her to feel more tense. She tries to tell herself it's just another abandoned house, but that isn't exactly true. There is a nearly invisible piece of metal wire running from one side of the hallway to the other.

Either whoever placed it is a rookie ninja, or the people hiding in here regularly use this entrance. If this place is used as a regular shelter, it's likely that the traps can be avoided instead of disabled, in order to get in. It's common shinobi logic - luring enemies into traps is much better than hoping to surprise them, at the cost of one's own mobility. A pinned shinobi is as good as a dead one.

She decides to go for the latter option. It's better to tread carefully than be too confident and end up, say, blown to bits. Then again, sneaking in a potentially unstable ninja's shelter isn't exactly much smarter, but she  _has_  to do something. This person might have been stranded here for a long time, or even in need of medical help.

It hits her that, whoever this is, they might be as terrified of enemies as she has been. Waltzing right into their safe haven, especially in her current condition, isn't what a sane person would do.

A kunai confirms her suspicions, though the throw is sloppy at best, and it misses by half a meter. She immediately raises her own pair of blades, but no more attacks come her way. The hallway is dark and unassuming, so she can't see where did it come from.

"I don't want to fight," she states, as clearly as possible. "I'm a medic." Right. It should be worth noted that she  _did_  have training regarding subduing potentially unstable, panicked shinobi.

Adrenaline is a bit of a bitch - some of her likely patients might be in shock, unable to distinguish friend from foe. In the heat of danger, some people cannot wait for it to wear off before being treated, though. Which is where her training comes into place. Without most of her chakra, it's unlikely she would be able to actually subdue anyone, but she should know enough to deal with this.

...Hopefully, without major injuries. She  _is_  Tsunade's apprentice after all. Sakura would like to believe that, even now, she is a capable medic-nin.

She squints, trying to discern the details of the hallway, but it's almost impossible. Sakura counts on Maru to block off any aggression she can't deal with, but her position is uncomfortably open as of now.

"State your name and allegiance!" replies a raspy voice, distinctly female. Every syllable is dripping with a silent warning, behind which hides the ugly beast that is desperation. Does this kunoichi have something so protect, besides her own life...?

"Sakura Haruno, shinobi of Konohagakure. I am Tsunade-sama's pupil, and as I said, I wish you no harm." Progress! Last time she tried to talk with some stranded, paranoid shinobi, she got an explosive tag to the face for her troubles.

For a few seconds that feel like an eternity, the kunoichi doesn't reply. Sakura represses the urge of biting her lower lip. If this person can see her, appearances are vital. There are many subtle gestures of body language that can help calm someone down or make them think one's an enemy.

"You're lying!" the kunoichi finally snaps - there's something in the way she talks that seems oddly familiar. Is it sadness or anger? "Sakura Haruno is dead!"  _Definitely_  anger. "Tell me your real name and intent, NOW!"

The pinkette grits her teeth - deciding that this just got a tad more complicated than it already was. She manages to discreetly push Misho out of the door.

"I  _am_  Sakura. If you need any proof, just turn on the lights."

_Like hell she will do that_. The kunoichi has the advantage of being somewhat hidden - Sakura doesn't know what is her exact situation, her strengths and weaknesses. And she is sure the other shinobi knows it too. But this isn't a fight, if she can avoid it. It's a mind-game.

"Who are you?" she inquires, after a whole, tense minute of silence. "I think you know me, but I can't recognise your voice." Which is true, to some extent. The voice doesn't sound  _right_ , either due to lack of water or overuse of vocal chords.

"Go guess, if you were her you would know," retorts the kunoichi, bitterly. There. A subtle inflexion, just a little detail of her speech pattern - Sakura finally recognises it. Her eyes widen in realisation.

"...Tenten?"

* * *

Truth be told, Sakura has fantasized about finding her old comrades again. Endless hours of hospital confinement and loneliness do funny things to anyone's head. And she would be lying if she said she hadn't imagined meeting up with them.

She never really admitted it, chalking it up to 'half-baked dreams before I fall asleep', which she knows is absolute bullshit. At first, she wanted to find the people she  _saw_  dying and be told it was just a bad dream. Overtime, however, she had to abandon these sorts of illusions - resorting to how she could possibly stumble upon a survivor from Konoha. A  _friend_.

It was bleak, but it was hope. However, never in a million years would she have imagined she would find Tenten in one of Engetsu's houses. The chances were near zero - she even assumed that the fūinjutsu specialist had been one of the many casualties.

Among so many faces to look at in her nightmares, Sakura would assume the worst.

Yet here they are, face to face in this tiny hallway. It took quite a bit of arguing, but the pinkette managed to convince Tenten to come out. And then nearly fainted when she saw her fellow kunoichi's state.

It's a wonder how she manages to stand still, surely by willpower alone. Her hair is completely disheveled, and her clothes look like she has been through some sort of arctic jungle for a straight month. Even the bandages that Sakura can spot on her seem to be dirty, causing an itch on her medic instincts. The worst of it is Tenten's neck - judging by the amount of blood that seeped through the cloth, someone might have tried to slit her throat.

Her eyes, however, show the inner fire that she still hasn't lost. If anything, she seems more fiercely determined than ever - under all the blood and grime, the kunoichi Sakura knows still thrives.

There is a brief moment of stunned silence - apparently, neither of them expected this encounter. And like it happened when she awoke from her meditation-induced dream, Sakura finds herself unable to correctly organise her thoughts. Likewise, the brunette seems to be trying to understand this situation.

"How about," Sakura offers, raising a tentative smile. "I tend to your wounds and then we ask the questions?"

Tenten blinks, still looking at her suspiciously. There is a respectable barrier of traps set between them, but she is (reasonably) wary. Finally, she nods, narrowing her eyes a fraction of an inch and motioning to the kid on the doorway, with a hand that still fights to hold a kunai.

"These two stay out. Leave your weapons here. I still don't fully buy it… Sakura-san," she states, her tone leaving no option for an argument. The pinkette nods, quickly discarding her newly acquired stock of shinobi weaponry. It isn't much: a few kunai and senbon, wire, explosive tags… whatever she could get from Shimo, really.

Tenten's eyes follow her movements closely, but Sakura knows exactly how to move to avoid causing alarm. She leaves a few medical supplies in her small backpack, and nods as a confirmation that she is done.

"I'll be back soon," she promises to her two companions. The kid looks like he is about to protest, but she points an accusatory finger at him. "Follow orders." He nods, pouting, and she considers this her cue to step deeper into the house.

The brunette guides her through the traps - it turns out they're slightly sloppy, due to their maker's condition, leaving enough gaps for her to get past. They are  _relatively_  light, considering who set them up. Overwhelming enemies with a barrage of weapons seems to be something Tenten enjoys doing a bit too much.

Once she is past, she can see the finer details of her fellow kunoichi's plight - mainly, the pallor of her skin and the tiredness etched in every corner of her stance. She hides the latter well, but it's still obvious she is struggling to stand.

"Are you alone?" Sakura asks, looking towards the depths of the house.

Tenten seems to hesitate for a moment, and in doing so, she unwillingly answers the question. The brunette realises the slip, and shakes her head slowly. The mere motion makes Sakura wince… with her neck in this state, she should be in a bed!

"Lee is here too," Tenten admits, her demeanor expressing actual nervousness. She looks towards the end of the hallway, and then back at Sakura.  _Something is wrong._  "You still haven't proved your identity, you know.."

The pinkette wants to argue that she would be nearly impossible to mistake, when she realises that she can't be looking like a pretty angel as of now. When was the last proper shower she had? And then there's the  _issue_  of the dark tendrils covering pretty much the entirety of her skin. Thin and sickly looking, she is barely a shadow of her former self.

"Do I have to remind you of  _that one time_  we don't speak about?" Sakura grumbles, suddenly feeling a stroke of genius. "You know, when-"

Tenten slaps a hand over the pinkette's mouth, blushing furiously. It's nice to see some color on her face. Against her palm, Sakura finds herself grinning.

"It never happened," affirms Tenten, letting go of Sakura. She proceeds to place a hand on her own neck, a gesture the medic identifies as distressed. And also, not healthy. "I suppose it's a valid argument. No one else would know about it."

It goes unsaid that there is still a lingering tension between them, but the pinkette knows no good shinobi is without a healthy dose of distrust in this kind of situation. At least, not one that lives for too long.

' _What's it with all these shinobi rules you're thinking of?_ ' protests Sachi, snapping her attention back to the matter at hand. Right, can't forget about two people she believed dead.

"Come in," Tenten offers, turning around and walking through the hallway, unsteadily. Sakura promptly follows, giving a nod to her companions before entering a room, following the brunette..

A very familiar stench hits her nostrils as soon as the door opens. Rotten flesh, dirt of all kinds and blood. It's nauseating enough that she barely keeps her eyes from watering. It takes a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to a dimmer light, but when they do, she doesn't like what she sees.

It's a bedroom, walls and floor splattered with a  _lot_  of blood. Including a mark, suspiciously similar to the typical shape left when the neck's arteries are severed by a blade. Numerous weapons and various items are strewn accross the ground, though what calls her attention is the body lying on the mattress, on its back.

_That_  is  _Lee_? Kami, if he isn't dead it's going to be a miracle!

No, he  _can't_  be dead - he wouldn't let himself go out like this.

' _You keep telling yourself that, but if I were you I would wish for chakra to control,_ ' states Sachi, scowling in the pinkette's mind.

It takes a few seconds for the picture to register fully, in which Tenten focuses her gaze on Sakura's. No wonder she is defensive as hell… If one of her teammates had been in this state...

_It did happen before, remember?_

So long ago, in the Forest of Death. Yes, she knows very well. However, she can't help but articulate her surprise in an almost forceful manner.

"What the hell happened to him?" she asks, turning to face the brunette. Tenten shakes her head a little.

"He got us out. Opened the Gates and stalled Sasuke Uchiha so a bunch of people could run. But… his wounds never healed, and we didn't have a medic," she explains. This time, when their eyes meet, there is the faintest glimmer of a plead. It doesn't look right on a person like her. "You can save him, right? I've tried all I can." Desperation speaks for her, but Tenten is one of the last people who would let these things get to her, and it still shows.

Sakura attempts to assess the situation as a medic, and she doesn't like what she sees. Approaching the bed only lets her see more and more problems. As a list: basically every limb in Lee's body has been crushed to some extent, large patches of skin burnt with a very familiar pattern and a few infected cuts to top it all off. Even the bandages are old - too old.

The question isn't how to heal him, but: how the  _hell_  is he not dead, if he has been like this for months?

"For the record, he wasn't this bad until a week or so ago," adds Tenten, dragging a chair towards the pinkette. "I had enough supplies to last at least nine months, but I had to give most of them to the other injured, and the rest were stolen. Up until then, keeping it under control was easy, but now that it's like this..." she trails off, fidgeting with a kunai.

"Gangrene on… essentially every limb," Sakura notes, biting her lower lip. "I've seen this kind of injury before," she adds, avoiding the mention that her own body has a similar condition. "He has been drained of chakra to the point where his body has decayed, but most of his vital organs are fine. Within our range of possibilities, he's lucky. His state is critical… it must be costing him all he has to remain alive."

_Dammit, Lee...!_  His face seems to be contorted in discomfort, his consciousness faded very far from here. Somewhere, though, he still hasn't given up. And Sakura knows that even in this state, he will hold out as much as it's humanly possible.

"Can you do it?" Tenten inquires, frowning.

She just  _had_  to ask that. Sakura feels slightly sick, looking down at her own hands. She hasn't been able to use the Mystic Palm Technique in around two months. Even with it…

' _Yes, I'm sure Tenten will be_ thrilled  _to know you'll just let him die without even trying,_ ' chastises Sachi. No, Sakura isn't going to give up, but...

"I'll do my best," she replies, opening her backpack and frowning at the items she has. Even though she carefully handpicked the most useful things she could get, it's just  _not enough_.

Not enough. Not good enough, no. Just like her. Just like back then-

She proceeds to mentally kick herself for having such thoughts, and gives a side-glance to Tenten, both gazes severe. This  _is_  a bizarre situation to be in, but as a shinobi, they've had worse. Why does it matter if ten minutes ago, Sakura was still standing at the door of this house? The important thing is the present, as she has tried to remind herself constantly.

"How exactly did you end up like this?" she asks, as nonchalantly as possible, expert fingers prying bloody cloth and bandages from her newest patient's body.

"I told you, we had to flee. By the time we got here, it had already been abandoned. We also had to deal with these wolf-dogs… that's how he got the slashes," she adds, pointing out to a few colorful, lengthy cuts on her teammate's side. "Stupid idiot can't help but throwing himself at danger," she grumbles. "I thought  _you_  were dead," she adds.

Sakura finds herself trying to compose her thoughts, and finding it's much harder than it should be.

"I escaped, too," she replies. That doesn't even  _convey_  all the shit she went through to do so, but now is not the time for that. "Long story short, Yugakure picked me up, but a personal mission took me to Shimo, and then here."  _Such is life._

Over the next half hour, Sakura listens to Tenten's retelling of how she and Lee wound up in this particularly…  _messy_  situation. Less than twenty people made it to Engetsu, most of the names only vaguely familiar to her. Engetsu's only attempt at modern civilization consists of crappy lamp posts and signs, so they were cut off from communication. Their best bet was to find a working ship (or fix one) and reach a populated area, but Lee's state wasn't good enough for it, regardless of his protests.

Tenten had seen herself forced to choose between waiting here a bit longer and the hazards of getting on a precariously kept together vessel - the most sane option seemed staying. It shouldn't have taken the group long to find a nearby island, and then they would come back with help. They never did.

She found herself in a bad situation when she was ambushed by marauding scavengers - this war barely had a winning side, so many bandits took the opportunity to loot whatever they could out of the corpses. Disgusting, yes, but they paid their price in spades: the group Tenten saw was desperate to get  _away_  from Frost. And unfortunately, she was alone to face all of them.

The brunette scared them off, true, but only after they stole her precious scroll. The one with nearly everything she had. It also cost her the wounds she has now, and an attempt at slitting her throat that was foiled only because of miraculous luck and timing.

' _No wonder she's paranoid..._ ' Sakura muses, after many fruitless attempts at dealing with Lee's situation.

It is getting worse by the minute, too. Her tampering with wounds and blood flow is breaking the precarious balance he had somehow achieved, and if she can't stabilise it soon…  _No, don't think like that, Sakura!_ Neither Misho nor Maru could help here… and judging by the rats' handiwork on the kid, even if the latter could do anything, it would likely kill Lee anyways.

Unwittingly, she finds herself at a crossroads. Though the choice is already made in her mind (because no way in hell she will abandon anyone like this), taking the steps is something she feels wary about.

"I can't really use chakra anymore," she bluntly admits, raising her hands until they're in front of her eyes. "If I do, I will suffer something similar to what he does." Tenten looks at her with a mix of shock and incredulity as she speaks.

"You can't heal him?" Her worry and desperation are painfully evident. Inwardly, Sakura winces when she hears the question.  _No, I can't do it._

"I can  _try_ , but it will hurt me too. If that happens, you must call in the rat and the kid. They will know what to do. If that doesn't work, then nothing will," she adds.

Sakura closes her eyes, placing her hands a few inches above the inert body in front of her. Her proficiency with the technique lets her use it without seals, but even then, this might not be possible at all. The very instant she attempts to channel chakra to her palms, a jolt of pain nearly sends her tumbling to the floor. Merely a warning of what is to come if she continues.

Gathering all the strength she can muster, she tries again… and again, and again. Until her arms feel heavy, and her head hurts.

' _I won't give up, hell no!_ '

But it's pointless. No matter how hard she tries, it just becomes more painful each time. Her breathing is ragged, skin burning with irritation. She hears a distant, familiar voice, and turns her head only to find Naruto's spectre standing next to her.

"You can break it," he whispers. "You did it before."

"How?" she mutters, looking down at her hands. They haven't lit up with the slightest glow.

"Just like you stab with a sword… swiftly. All at once, or nothing at all."

She looks up at him, but he's gone. Sakura bites her lip, noticing now that Tenten is looking at her funny. It doesn't matter - the fox boy gave her the answer. Distantly, she hears bells. She's already crossing the threshold… Now all she needs is the last push.

Breathing deeply, she closes her eyes once more and readies herself for the last thing she can do. Sakura places a palm over Lee's heart, its steady beats reminding her of what is at risk here. If she does this wrong, it will be like applying manual cancer to his most vital organs...

_All at once_  - she forces every single bit of energy she can spare through her right arm, and to her palm. The seal is overwhelmed for a split second, allowing her to break through and pass it over to him as delicately as she can. It only takes an infinitesimal amount of time for the  _Ningyo_  to react, before she even manages to pass it all through.

Sakura barely has time to feel the pain.


	22. Your withering Nightmare [Interlude II]

_When you first saw her, you told yourself it was for a dream._

One, two, three (repeat) - one step at the time, two heartbeats per second, three memories with every ragged breath (but the clock ticks too fast, there isn't enough air). You're not running, no, but almost. And you want to - so badly. It's an impulse, though you are unsure about what fuels it.

I do know - but you never really listen, do you? It's pointless to talk with you, because there is only space for hatred in your foolish soul. You're merely a pawn, a monster that was created by other people's wishes - no more, no less. Subject to the whims of gods (of _humans_ trying to become holy). And even if you broke free, you would be a slave to your own heart.

Is that why you killed all of them? (Bodies strewn across the field, mangled beyond recognition, their last expression of horror etched in your mind). There is not a living creature left, and even after you started running out of chakra, you kept going - eyes bleeding, vision blurred by crimson mist.

Is this how freedom tastes like - or is it despair? (Why not both?). You did it - _are you proud?_ Nothing on earth ties you down anymore. It was much easier after severing the first bond (you were angry, empowered, shivering with seething rage). The rest were nothing, mere faces that blended together to the point where you couldn't tell them apart. They were unimportant, compared to the greatest sin you had just committed.

Killing your best friend. The only one that still believed in you - the _last_ one (and it hurt, didn't it?). But you had to, because it was the only way to break the deadlock. Otherwise, he would have hunted you down again, until you gave up. Maybe it annoyed you (pained you), that once more, your wishes didn't matter. Giving up - and you would have been a loser again, with no chance of ever finding true peace. Subject to yet another's laws.

It was you or him.

 _It was the only way._ And you keep telling yourself that, because there is a strange, unidentifiable feeling building up from the bottom of your stomach, rising like bile through your throat. And once it was done, you felt _free_ \- because you won, and because there was no turning back.

The realisation sent your mind spiraling into darkness (the life of the last anchor to the light had been extinguished, almost by accident). No holding back anymore. Any other time, and you might have questioned if this is what you wanted after all - if the sole purpose had been _this_ , all along. Falling into the black void, and letting go. Or maybe, you had become prey of your own demons. Perhaps you would have felt afraid, because the true answer was beyond you.

Yet, as the all-encompassing madness consumed you: it didn't matter anymore. Wherever you go, you will always be a slave, as long as you allow them to rule you. These sentiments of vengeance will only bring misery, to you and everyone else ( _this_ is what you always wanted - and you managed it on your own).

But why should it matter? (They're all dead now). No one will be strong enough to stand against you. They had been so vulnerable. Even after the Infinite Tsukuyomi was broken, they weren't ready for what was to come - the wrath of a _god_ , unleashed upon them. Your ascension was marked by blood and screams, just as it should be.

Your steps slow down, when you realise that you are truly alone. And it feels terrifying and relieving at the same time. _Are you happy now?_ Of course not, because you renounced to a thing such as happiness a long time ago. Reap what you sow, child of chaos - for you are nothing more than a lost soul, forever cursed to remain adrift.

A seed that was pulled out of its home too soon, when it was too weak to fight and hold on - and in revenge burned down the earth where it once stood.

You're pitiful, weak - and I hate you for it.

You felt disappointment in humanity (who wouldn't?) because of their weaknesses, yet you are crippling yourself just as much as they do. Who are you trying to be? You are not a god, and you will never be. You killed Naruto to prove a point - that there is no salvation within the human heart. No, if left alone, people would never be able to put an end to all these wars. He had something you didn't - the ability to truly understand them, set things right.

But no, you had to be stubborn, you _had_ to kill him.

Good job, you killed our last hope - _your_ last chance to redeem yourself. _Are you satisfied?_

You thought you could withstand the realisation that, in the end, there is no destiny (even chakra as we know it exists by pure _chance_ ). If not for a mere _woman_ a millennium ago, ninja as we know them wouldn't exist. Her thoughts of grandeur fucked things up even more, so who's to say you aren't doing exactly the same? (You are).

Go ahead, rule the world - see how long it takes for you to fall in the same hole. You are no better than she was, and you saw what she became. Better yet, you are already full of hatred.

No one would believe your lies, Sasuke - even you don't believe in yourself anymore.

Cling to your desperate hopes for as long as you can - time will take it away. And you will no better than a demon, an eternal shadow looming over the world. When you fall, I will be waiting to show you the meaning of hell.

You can run and kill, you can scream and cry, but you can't escape. You stand in the middle of the battlefield, trembling, victim of your own maelstrom of emotions. But there is nothing left for you to break.

You are no better than any of the fools that tried their hand at deity. Congratulations!

Then, when you hear _that_ voice, you feel like it must be a dream - everyone was supposed to be dead. You made sure of it… But then again, you lost control, so maybe (just maybe) it's real.

Do you dare turn around?

She stutters (slightly) - only someone very brave, or very stupid, would dare to _walk_ to you right now. Coursing through your veins, you can feel a newfound strength, a wild beast spurred by an emotion you can't identify - a feeling that is vilified as the darkness filters it, turning it into hatred.

If you were worthy of compassion, I would feel sorry for you - but you are not, not anymore.

Her words are blurred out, and as you stare into her eyes you can see the unease building up into fear, barely controlled panic crawling under every inch of her skin. Step. She has the sense to take one back, and it makes you want to laugh - tell her that she can't run. Especially not after you found out she lives.

It's clear to you that the things that don't affect people, are the ones they have no bond with. Then _why_ are you reacting with a quicker heartbeat, tremors running from the tips of your fingers and throughout the entirety of your body?

It must be that one connection, one latching bond, slipped away from your sword, in the maddened frenzy you fell into. A mistake that could be easily fixed, if only your mind wasn't hell-bent on thinking of things it shouldn't (memories).

Look at her, she can barely stand up on her feet. And there is still an ounce of defiance behind those green irises - how _courageous_. Ha. You feel a smile creeping up onto your features, a smirk that causes her to tense (even more?) and unconsciously adopt a defensive stance.

So she has a bond with you, still. How delightful. Perhaps it's this final reaction, what causes the dam to break - perhaps it's her tentative voice (the only thing you catch on it is the desperation, and it's not even for herself), trying to reach out.

It's infuriating (because you can't understand _why_ \- life skipped teaching you that lesson), because it reminds you of _him_ , Naruto, the one you had to kill - and all these fools who believed in him. Even if he is dead… he left a mark. His spirit still lives in her, and she is willfully carrying the torch forward, with her wobbly steps and ragged breaths.

And you _hate_ her for it - so deeply that you can't control your own attempt at shattering that last orb of light. She has already been grazed by the whiplash of your rampage. And you keep telling yourself: it should be easy, right?

Sever the bond.

 _Kill her_.

And this is why I call you a pathetic excuse of a god - because you _can't_. Even as she is pinned down, left at your mercy to be judged and punished - you can't. The grasp around her throat tightens, but her own hands are immobilised by her sides. She's completely helpless now, so what's stopping you?

I can feel your anger building up at the thought (you don't know why) - enough to cause her to scream, the writhing darkness crushing her body until it feels like it will _break_. And she still has the nerve to struggle and plead for _you_!

Can't she see she's already lost?

_Can you?_

A beat (silence). There is something akin to horrified realisation on your features, but it's replaced by hatred in an instant. A maniacal laugh makes its way between your lips, because after all this _is_ ironically hilarious. She stares back, puzzled, gasping for breath and coughing blood.

It's not that you can't do it - you don't _want_ to.

But you will never admit that to your prideful self, will you? No - instead, you transform these feelings to suit a different purpose. Perhaps you are afraid of losing this bleak light - maybe (just maybe) it's a punishment. For whom, you don't care. But it seems rightfully logical.

If you can't extinguish the light, you can force it to become darkness. After all, you're the living proof of how easily it can be done. It will be a child's play.

It makes so much sense, that you want to pat your back to celebrate the victory.

Can't defeat them? Break them!

And you do your damned best to fulfill this new objective - one that feeds off of your overwhelming, vitriolic emotions. To prove yourself you aren't weak, even though the act in itself only confirms it further. You've lost control again ( _why?_ ), but she denies you the pleasure of triumph.

This is what you've become - answering her inquiries with a venomous, viperine tongue. Forcing her to _watch_ and _feel_ your own pain (isn't this what you wanted, _Naruto_?), and teasing her body and mind with the merciful release of death - torturing her within an inch of her life. Over, and over, and over.

Yet no matter what you try, after the great arsenal of mind-breaking things you could think of… she remains unbeaten. She should be dead by now - but she is using whatever remains of her chakra to constantly heal herself. Any other time, and you would have found the seal-less technique impressive.

Now? It makes you wish for a way to take it away and subjugate her to the fragility of the human body. It's a thought you can't articulate even in your own mind, but as soon as it comes to life, it thrives and grows - until it manifests as pure darkness, fueling one last hit that should end it all.

Except she used this window of time to free herself - and her unsteady hand rises towards you. Delirious, glassy eyes are stubbornly focused on yours, refusing to let go of the little life they hold. It's something you didn't expect (because she never attacks - not you).

"W-why…" she rasps, her palm against your chest. And that is when you realise, that she is far beyond pain - the countdown of her heartbeats is diminishing, dangerously close to zero.

You wish you knew - the inner turmoil that reigns inside you has blurred the _reasons_ , leaving only intent, but no purpose. Only, that this is the only thing you could do (the only option).

"Because I have to." The words escape you before you can stop them, and immediately you berate yourself for succumbing - and then, reach down, to punish her for even trying to sway your will.

Hesitation - your hand is already coated with an aura of darkness, tendrils trying to reach out for something they can choke, something whose life they can steal. This is the ultimate trial, for her and for you.

You pull back, and there is only a fraction of a second for her to be surprised when your fist comes back down, burying itself right where her heart is. Her fingers twitch, trying to grasp something - nails digging on your skin, but it doesn't matter.

Shameful.

Something breaks inside you, a little crystal cage that kept a precious treasure inside - and it spills out, nailing you in place. She coughs up blood - and you withdraw, causing her torso to arch forwards. As if, even at the threshold of death, she was still trying to cling to you.

These dark tendrils extend from the gaping hole in her chest, ensnaring her whole body and causing her limbs to jerk violently. This makes you react, and you back off to stand on your feet. By instinct, she curls up in a position that her instincts deem safe, bracing herself as if that could make the pain subside.

Her hands flash with a familiar green glow, but it's gone in an instant. She tries again, and again, eyes closed and face scrunched up in pain - but the color merely turns a pale shade of blue, and then vanishes completely. Raked by tremors and losing what has to be too much blood, her body lies on the ground, awaiting the clemency that comes with death.

A painfully familiar feeling bubbles up from the pit of your stomach, to your own untouched heart ( _this_ darkness you hit her with is the only thing that remains in there - it's ironic, that she tried to reach out to the most corrupted part of you). You know what you're witnessing: the end of the truly last bond and light.

Soon, she will be gone. It should make you happy, but like before - it doesn't. As if she knew, she flinches, lifting her eyelids just enough to rest her gaze on you. You turn around, because it is assured that you will break down completely if you remain here.

"Because killing you would be no fun," you spit out at her, the shivers of your body barely noticeable. Your eyes must be bleeding, because you can feel the blood sliding down your cheek and your gaze blurring over by a coat of red mist. Sour, and filled with hatred, your words will surely be the last ones she will ever hear.

Abandoning her in this empty battlefield, you find yourself strangled by bizarre sensations. In the darkest depths of your heart, however, you find yourself wondering if she will manage to survive.

Of course you do - if you wanted her to die, you would have killed her. But you didn't, did you? ( _Why?_ ).

* * *

Konoha. Oh, how much you could damn this village to hell and back. Yet it is necessary for your plans, to force them to accept you as a Hokage (charismatic!). Perhaps there is a veiled mockery inside this decision, but it doesn't matter.

Their only choice is to surrender or face the same annihilation that most of the shinobi forces did. With only genin and weaker clan members to protect them, they don't have the slightest chance at even becoming a nuisance.

They were caught off-guard when you first showed up, because no one had been fast enough to warn them. Perhaps it would have been smarter to sneak in and take a hold of the greatest choking points: the clan heirs, but who cares? The outcome would have been the same.

What you didn't expect was the fierce resistance they dare put up. Even when facing a fully armored Susanoo, the village bands together (which pleases you greatly - but it is still a small obstacle in the way). It only takes leveling the Hokage Mountain to remind them that the Kyūbi's attack was nothing compared to what you can do.

Konoha has to decide, with a dozen spheres created through the Chibaku Tensei hanging over their heads, if they would die fighting or surrender to live another day. Any seasoned shinobi would accept a honorable death, defending their home… but that choice would also wipe out everyone else. Whole families - children and civilians.

They shouldn't look at you as a human, and they don't, not after that display. Awe and fear coat their reactions, _as it should be_.

You watch them exchange glances, former enemies deciding in unison that there is no other way. The elders come forward to announce their decision, yet behind those eyes you can see a glimmer that speaks of rebellion - the Will of Fire won't be put out so easily (does it matter? They can't do anything).

Holding the Hokage's hat in your hands, you muse silently about what should be the next step. It is likely that these people will attempt some sort of revolution on their own - and while you couldn't care less about what they try to do to you, fear is the only way to keep them under control.

Most shinobi will not bow down so easily, not unless they are held in a position where the loss of fighting would outweigh their duty as warriors. And there are a few loose ends that will probably become annoyances in the future. Orochimaru, for one, is as resilient as roaches - with or without Kabuto, you are sure he is alive _somewhere_.

The Bijū - oh, yes, the _goddamn_ Tailed Beasts were simply _gone_ by the time you regained your sanity (what a joke). Perhaps it had been due to exhaustion, or maybe someone had been audacious enough to try their hand at freeing them ( _how?_ ). They merely disappeared without leaving a trace of chakra. As it is, their whereabouts are unknown. And that irks you immensely, because there is no way in hell a thing of that size and power can just up and get lost.

It just doesn't happen. And that means that something as important as these creatures slipped in between your fingers.

Though you can remember every inky line and name with flawless accuracy, you find yourself looking down at a map of the shinobi world - certainly, ensuring total control of it should be the next step. Your eyes trail to the direction of Lightning - there is certainly nothing to worry about there. You're certain Kumo is nothing but ruins, if your memories of the massacre are accurate.

The Land of Water holds no strength as a bunch of scattered islands, each of them claiming to be the strongest. It's a large scale clan war, and without a Mizukage to unite them, they will soon fall into chaos once more. Perhaps it would be necessary to _inspire_ them to fight together.

Wind is a pitiful joke, nothing more than an echo chamber of better times. Earth has been falling apart for decades. Yet you are almost certain that, sooner or later, someone will try to get a hold of the reins and perhaps assemble a decent army. And if they can't fight Konoha, they might even try to turn against the rest of the nations. Which is unacceptable, by any means.

It is necessary to ensure cohesion between the shinobi at your disposal - if there is one thing you know is that mere jutsu will not hold up forever. No, it's their hearts that you have to make loyal to you. An absent finger traces the pattern of nail marks on your chest (why haven't they gone away?). You find yourself frowning and hastily moving your hand away as soon as you notice.

Your steps take you towards the window on the wall, overlooking the village that you used to call _home_.

Your eyes narrow slightly, and you turn around with steps quieter than a cat's. You can perceive an imbalance in the chakra that surrounds the Hokage office. You decided that it would be best to leave yourself unguarded, in order to lure in the boldest assassins. So far, a total of four bodies have been dragged out of the Tower - they weren't dead, but in a comatose state, induced by genjutsu. By the time they wake up, there will be no trace of the person they used to be.

And now there is someone else, trying to sneak through the corridors, rather noisily, yet good enough to slip between the guard of the stationed ANBU. Not a chakra signature you recognise, either - a spark of curiosity finds itself homing in your mind. None of your dōjutsu is necessary to locate this person.

Taking a sadistic enjoyment in opening the door of _that_ closet swiftly and without a warning, you find yourself eye to eye with the squeaking intruder. Well, perhaps a meter or so above their gaze, but still. Crossing your arms over your chest, you let silence do the job of intimidating this tiny version of _problems_.

"Hum, I can explain it?" stutters none other than a _kid_ that has somehow found a way inside the Hokage Tower. Standard chakra, attire that doesn't tie him to any clan in particular and spiky, ash-colored hair that is a bit too similar to someone you know very well - who exactly is this?

You drag him out by the collar and close door quietly, dropping him on the floor. What's the meaning of this? There are no other suspicious signatures nearby, and the Sharingan doesn't reveal any chakra-laced devices on him. Apparently, the security is so low that even someone so weak managed to get through.

He looks positively terrified at the bright colors that your eyes adopt, or perhaps it's the proximity of Kusanagi to his throat. There is something wild awakening in the back of your mind - a voice that calls for blood, laced by sarcastic nuances that remind you of Sakura's.

"You have ten seconds."

"I was just curious, I promise!" the kid spits out, as quickly as humanly possible. Lips pursed into an ever thinner line, you press the blade slightly closer. "Orochimaru-samasentmepleasedontkillme!"

* * *

Kōta Nemuri - an old Academy classmate that should have been your age. One of these background faces that you never bothered to notice. Not even when he disappeared, years before your graduation. He can't look older than nine, and his skillset is within the range of a normal person of that age, a decade later.

"Orochimaru-sama wanted to, huh… say hi, I guess?" he explains, still on the edge of staining his pants. He can't be more than a disposable pawn, an experiment. And it is clear he is not a good liar. A scowl is enough to cause him to cringe, and he backtracks admirably fast. "Okay, okay, he didn't, I _was_ curious! I was told the new Kage is Uchiha, and I really, really like the Uchihas, so I-" He has the sense to stop rambling. "I swear, I just wanted to see if it was true."

His speech patterns are strange, but there is at least an ounce of truth in these words. Kōta raises a thin arm, pulling back the sleeve of his red shirt, and your eyes immediately fall on the familiar, although edited, Curse Seal. At least, it seems true that he has a connection with Orochimaru - the chakra patterns underneath his skin seem to confirm these words.

"You should inform your master of this discovery, then," you determine, pulling back the sword just enough for Kōta to move. "I will be waiting for him."

At the notion that he _isn't_ going to be killed, Kōta nods nervously and turns tail with speed that is admirable for his age. You follow his signature until it leaves the Tower, and then follows an erratic path through Konoha's streets.

An idea, however, is boiling from the back of your head and towards your most prominent thoughts. It is children what the majority of people in this village value most, isn't it? It is such an obvious, and easy choking point that you could get a hold of.

These people _will_ come to willingly accept your leadership, even if it takes a whole generation for it to work. It is their offspring that they value most - and as such, the next step must be geared towards fully controlling these. No one will dare to rebel if their children are in danger. Not even the most troublesome of clans.

The growing headache that plagues every heartbeat is ignored, in favor of advancing the plan forward.

"Tell the Hyūga elders I will be expecting Hinashi to meet with me in half an hour."

* * *

Division is a powerful weapon - throughout the years, mankind has been weakened by it, and now your new mission is to unite them against a greater good. Work together, or face the consequences.

Although, that is a choice you in particular are allowed to make, as the strongest human on this wretched planet. They aren't, but that is because they are all kinds of weak. With the level of control you have, it is possible to apply measures that no one else would be able to.

Such as getting a hold of (kidnapping) each and every clan heir, amongst many other weak links in the shinobi hierarchy. Starting with Hanabi Hyūga, the new heir for her clan and probably the most important of them all. The rest are kept in an old Uchiha hideout, under the guard of the most brainwashed ANBU.

It has definitely made the clans much more tame - one insubordination and the mention of their offspring is enough to shut them up. The hatred building behind their eyes is only a confirmation that you are doing the right thing. The assassination attempts double in amount, always by the hand of mercenaries whose names and faces can't be attached to anyone.

It has taken weeks to quell the raging fire that lives in each Konoha shinobi, but it seems like the situation is stable (which is a fucking joke, if you ask me - but oh, you don't care about me, do you?).

Yes, shake your head as if you were trying to get rid of me. It will never work. I'm a part of you and you were too weak to sever the bond. Would you be a sweetheart and tell that to your beloved Konoha? ' _I wasn't able to kill Sakura Haruno because I'm a goddamn failure._ ' It's not so difficult, I know you can do it if you practice.

I know what you've been doing, you filthy bastard. Pretending that you could forget, while ignoring the fact that those cursed eyes of yours can remember _every little detail_ for an eternity. You thought you could just forget me?

"You are not real."

Then who is the one whose eyes shine in your nightmares - whose shadow towers over you when you wake up from your sleep, shivering, sweating and screaming? (Whose voice is that you hear when you listen to the silence?)

 _Mine, mine, mine!_ (That, you are). And you will forever be, because no matter how strong you get, I will always have a hand curled around your heart. Your dreams of grandeur will end as soon as your shell cracks, and then there will be nothing to protect you. Time is the only thing you will never be able to beat, and sooner or later yours will be up.

Hanabi Hyūga takes a tentative step into the room, one that makes you flinch and sends all sorts of red alarms blaring in your head - because you didn't sense her. And even now, her figure is blurred by misty darkness (it must have been your screams, that woke her up).

Yet these eyes of hers don't fall upon you - but me. The ghost that shouldn't exist.

You tackle her down before she realises you're actually awake (how many times has she been around, hearing the product of these nightmares, while you were asleep?) - eyes desperate, flashing dangerously with something that very closely resembles fear.

"You will _not_ tell anyone about this," you hiss, covering her mouth with a hasty hand. She nods, and you let go. Hanabi has the sense to run away to her own room, and you sit against the wall, sliding the door closed and breathing raggedly.

Perhaps you should have used a genjutsu on her. Something to scare her into not telling - because why else would a kid sneak into the Hokage's room, if not because she has been told to? There has to be a liaison between the Hyūga heiress and the rebels that plot hour after hour, against you.

Bloody streaks run from your eyes and drop onto your lap, and you forcefully wipe them off, exercising breath techniques that calm your body down in no time. Your mind, however, is still reeling from what you saw in your dreams (and I know it makes you angry, to know that the darkness you hide has slipped out).

Pictures of the massacre (which one?) dance before your eyes, veiled by a red tint that speaks of the all-encompassing insanity, rooted deep in your soul. _This is what you are, Sasuke-kun_. A failure, a _monster_.

Your mind scrambles for coherent thoughts, for the reasoning that should make you feel better than that, but it only takes the sight of two very particular faces to make the efforts crumble to dust. Your eyes pause on my own, engraving this all-too-sweet smile in your mind, and I tilt my head to the side.

I can see the question (flickering into life, behind that face you try to keep stone cold, but whose façade cracks at the slightest hint of problem), and it is enough to make my laughter ring in your ears.

"Why, because I love you."

* * *

Orochimaru's viperine eyes shift towards you in a way that is unpleasant. You were subjected to this gaze for years (but this is something new, something darker), you should be used to it - but you are not. There is a tinge of _interest_ behind those yellow eyes, one that is different from the one you're used to.

It would be foolish to name this pact an _alliance_ \- more like a convenient way to move the Plan forwards (one that pivots in the Sannin's own unhealthy interest in Uchiha). And, like you don't want to admit to yourself, perhaps a way to find a solution to _me_. To beat time.

After you pinned him down, in an obscure Otogakure hideout, Orochimaru saw himself in this plight: his life or subservience. While he will always be plotting behind your back, it is better to know what he is doing from up close. He might be useful after all.

The idea is to mimic a war between the two villages, something only you and him will know about. Sending your most unruly ninja will provide him with test subjects, verifying your strength as Konoha's Hokage, and in turn deviate attention from your real intentions.

"Are you aware that these eyes of yours can create strings to puppet life and death?"

A raging maremagnum rises in your ears, a chorus of vaguely identifiable voices that follows a deafening crescendo. Louder, louder, until the world is spinning around you in crimson images that belong to a different place and time.

"Hn."

* * *

Once each and every hand-picked person has been placed in their respective Otogakure confinement, you allow yourself to succumb to the chorus that has been beckoning, from the other side of sanity (you can't call yourself sane, though). A fine line that you have been walking on, and which grows thinner and blurrier each day.

Sometimes, it is hard to tell a nightmare from waking time - they both blend well with the aid of voices and blood. Memories pulled from the last decade of your life replay over and over, (a vivid Tsukuyomi where you know where the red tint comes from), and it is only your duty as a Hokage that forces you to push it back while facing other people.

And there have been deaths over it - those souls unfortunate enough to cross paths with you at the wrong time. No one would recognise them even if their remains were found. Each time, the strength of these lashouts grows more and more, feeding on the hatred and the anger and all the emotions that overwhelm you more each day.

It is one of these times that you see a flash of a very different scene: a girl, trapped in the same world that reigns over your every thought, green eyes widening with an amount of horror you have only seen once (in that same face, in _reality_ ). She is immobilised by hundreds (thousands) of black tendrils that you know too well.

At the start, they come from your fingers, but soon they are too powerful to channel them properly. They enshroud your whole being with a dark aura that you find almost welcoming - and they keep tightening around her figure. But you don't stop, remembering all these venomous words I (Sakura) have been spitting at you at every waking moment.

Hatred is the one thing you do best, isn't it?

A wave of water that shouldn't be in these fake memories (a true tsunami) appears out of nowhere, washing it all away and leaving you breathless, blood that can only be yours staining your hands and face.

This girl with pink hair holds a bloody kunai up, licking the edge of the weapon as if it was the most pleasant flavor in the world. And then she lunges forward, but when you open your eyes, you're alone again.

The crimson stains, however, remain. And so do the memories of the same girl, lunging forward, towards a small man who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

* * *

 _Yugakure_. These syllables roll in a strange manner, but after methodical investigation you manage to figure out where was the place you saw in that last scene. Strangely enough, everything has been oddly quiet after it (but your mind is solely focused on finding out if it was _real_ ).

It hits you very hard - the realisation that after all, Sakura might be alive. There is a rigmarole of conflicting emotions that spark fire at the thought. Anger, frustration - hatred, most of all. But then there are _others_ that you can't discern properly, and it only makes you fall deeper into a blinding rage.

Because if she is alive, then what am I?

A sliver of the darkest of hopes.

* * *

It is impossible to control it. These two mockeries of obstacles have the decency of feeling afraid in your presence (you're so close, so _close_ ), but it's _not enough_.

"You were supposed to keep her alive for me." But she isn't here.

You know that one of these people is important - the one with blue hair and an air of certainty. The _child_ of Yugakure - the only descendant to the woman that holds the puppeteer's strings. You know that much, because you spent hours upon hours researching.

Behind her steely façade, you can sense her fear. She had it coming and now it's time to pay for the consequences, which will also aid you in this quest that you can't get out of your head.

It is only fair, almost natural, that the payment for this nuisance is the child's life.

* * *

Your senses go haywire when you finally sense her _chakra_ \- the ultimate proof that she is still alive. It's weak, a shadow of what it used to be (or perhaps it is veiled, because it is still as vital and flamboyant as you remember it). It is only for her _luck_ (that runs out with each ticking second) that the signal is distorted, and hard to pinpoint.

You split into different clones, knowing that no matter which one finds her, it will be enough. In her weakened state, with _your_ mighty power, there is no way she will escape this time. The purpose is unclear - but you _have_ to find her. And that is the last shred of rational thinking that populates your mind, the only coherent thought whose reasons are unknown even to you.

And you do. The closer you get, the more the madness increases - the voices turn into shadows, and these turn into bodies (they dance in and out of a fog that came out of nowhere, snarling at you, screaming bloody murder). Your heart races (every pulse drumming through your head, drilling your skull with an unforgiving headache), your steps accelerating towards the target.

Her eyes are clouded by the same insanity that tints your vision, yet there are tears instead of blood staining them. She is having a hard time defending herself against these apparitions casted by your demented will, and doesn't see you approaching. Her fist collides uselessly against your well-timed block (there is something akin to abject terror, dawning on her face and causing her to enter a panicked state).

On her eyes you can see the memories you recall from your own experience, and she is stuttering again, denying, as if this was just a nightmare. But it's not.

" _It hurts, stop, please stop!_ " That voice doesn't belong in here, yet it echoes in your mind, accompanied by a recollection of flashes - from that day, the one that has been haunting you, night after night.

"I win." A pyrrhic victory, that is (but she knows, you can see it in her eyes - there is no way out). The only one you will ever get, because there is no happy ending for you.

There is a flicker in her chakra, something minute and precisely calculated, that you can barely perceive.

" _Shānnarō!_ " And it catches you off-guard ( _how?!_ ), your mind too numb to process it as it should - there is only the notion of danger, a reminiscence of another time where you truly needed to fight for your life. The perception of something bigger, much more than this moribund kunoichi (because that's how it feels - like every second, she's dying. But she never does).

And you find yourself teleporting away before realising that it was a ruse. There is no big beast looming over, ready to swallow you whole - only a myriad of dancing spirits, that choose this moment of weakness to move forward and _attack_.

The clone pops out of existence an instant later, and you know she managed to slip away.

Somehow.

Does it feel good to be outsmarted, Sasuke-kun? I told you your throne would start to crumble sooner or later.

Soon...

* * *

She has all the answers - she must. How did she manage to place a mocking copy of herself in your mind, you wonder? One you can't erase no matter how hard you try. It seems to blend in with your own chakra, escaping both the Sharingan and the Rinnegan, and reminding you that somewhere, she still _lives_.

Is it a seal, a jutsu she has to keep up? (Is that why she's so particularly _weak_?)

She is the only one, the key, the center to all of this madness - by finding her, you will manage to overcome the last problem. _It's the only way_.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Her signature is too weak, blending in with all the other fake presences that have finally claimed a hold of reality. Memories, turned into real demons that keep stalking you as you make your way throughout the frozen tundra. They have finally become strong enough to take a life of their own.

The thought makes you recoil, stuck with a sudden realisation.

If _these_ things managed to come to life by sheer power of hatred - perhaps it is possible that things like me are also a product of your own mind. Nothing is real, yet at the same time, it does exist.

Oh, how I love you when you're smart, Sasuke-kun.

* * *

Tracking her down is easy - there is a distinct flash of her chakra, further north, in Shimogakure. That's where the clone was destroyed. However, it's gone almost immediately. You are left to track it down and follow the subtle hints and cues that mark her tracks.

She was bleeding profusely, but there is no corpse to be found. You release a breath you didn't know you had been holding, when you find the somewhat steadier footsteps, bloodless, leading to what looks like a hospital.

Yet the trail dies there, as if it had never existed in the first place.

If she is a part of your mind, there should be a trace you can identify - something that puts her apart from real people. A resonance with your own chakra (and it exists), which leads you near a bathroom with broken windows. The corpse of a man lies on the ground, in a place where the trace of chakra has pooled, as if she had stayed around for a bit too long.

The response lies within the folds of this deceased medic-nin's clothes - an identifying card. You recognise the name - a prominent one among Yugakure's records.

A grin tugs at the corners of your lips when you find a forgotten summoning scroll, in the aforementioned bathroom. She probably fled from whatever was attacking her (the apparitions, probably).

So that's where she was going - where she is hiding.

* * *

Even with the scroll, tracking down the exact place takes an annoying amount of time. Yugakure seems very willing to help out with anything, which is nice (you killed their heir - there are stares of hatred that you can feel, even if you can't see them).

A cave system, running through the entirety of the Land of Hot Water and even to Whirlpool. A place filled with creatures that are extinct anywhere else: salamanders that heat up the water, enough to create thermal baths and geysers; centipedes that dig through the hardest stone, creating underwater currents and lakes. Interesting, but useless.

The ones that matter are the rats - the ones that Sakura called for help. She either managed to sneak into Yugakure's database, or someone _helped_ her. Judging by the attachment that this Kiri shinobi had for her, she must have been busy making friends. Typical.

But he is nowhere to be found - and no matter how threatening your requests become, no one seems to know who helped her. It takes the better part of three days to find a way to access it without blowing a smoking crater in the ground.

The rodents are incredibly proficient with genjutsu, but as a holder of the highest level of Sharingan, the notion of being affected by that is a joke.

It is only when the spectres become stronger than ever, that you start wondering if these genjutsu are somehow amplifying the effect of your own illusion. When a _Rasengan_ (what?) comes out of nowhere and nearly cuts you in half, you start wondering how much of it is real. Because while the Sharingan is able to detect the patterns of chakra, they are like nothing you've ever seen.

And they can't be dispelled. These things are _actual_ chakra manipulations that somehow work outside the realm of common genjutsu. It feels as if you were truly surrounded by-

No. It can't be. There is a projection of the uttermost horror and fear when you realise that, if these spectres have started to get stronger, maybe this is only another step in their metamorphosis to fully-fledged creatures.

They're _real_.

These are the true ghosts that have been haunting your mind, and they have fed from your emotions long enough to take a shape. The last remains of all those you killed, and they are about to fulfill their own revenge against the one who ended their lives.

There isn't enough space for a fully fledged Susanoo, but you make use of every technique you know in order to keep them at bay. They're restless, and they keep pushing you back (forwards?), deeper into the cave. Every trace of conscious thought is wiped from your mind, as you are overwhelmed by the intense emotions that come from this encounter.

You know they are cornering you, but you can't really choose the direction. Even Amenotejikara is useless - wherever you go, there are more, and more (empty eyes bleeding, hands stretched forwards, bones jutting from places they shouldn't, deformed bodies crawling towards you). And they never give up.

Their sole purpose, the reason they exist, is to annihilate you. ( _Is this how Itachi felt?_ )

Coherency is lost in this cacophony of madness - and then, there is a clear tunnel ahead of you, a strange light shining at the end. You hurry up, sensing that this is the place where your own judgement will be passed.

You have no time to notice the pretty lights, eyes bleeding profusely and vision swimming dangerously - you only see the familiar figure that was distinctly lacking in these attacks. Sakura.

There is no ill intent in her, no trace of these demonic expressions and impossibly shaped limbs. It's as if this was a mere repetition of _that_ one time - the connection making your heart skip a beat. Is this it?

This is _why_?

So it is. She stops - gaze lowered, eyes closed. Waiting.

It has to be a trap. There is no way it can be that simple (sword on her throat, for a good measure of safety). It has _never_ been that simple. Yet she doesn't move, not one inch.

A sudden urge, as if you had to check on something you aren't even sure of - a jolt of electric warmth running from your fingertips and throughout your body, when you reach out and pull her chin upwards. Slowly - because it feels like the illusion could break at any time, and then she would be gone again.

Not sure why - but you don't want that to happen.

These eyes look back at you, but their inner fire is almost gone (a frown, because that doesn't feel right). No, it's not gone, it's dimmer. As if she had accepted that in any moment, it will be snuffed out - that it's not strong enough to prevail. There is a glimmer of determination in it. It isn't a surrender, but a _sacrifice_.

It seems so like her, in a way that is impossible to describe, that you find yourself unable to act, drawing back weapon and hand.

 _Is it real?_ You want to ask (so badly), barely keeping your lips shut. But if you find out - then you will have to _act_.

And you don't want to (weakling).

Whether it's a mere illusion or the _real_ one, you _don't want to know._ There are echoes of whispers at your back, and you know what will be awaiting you if you turn around now. Somehow, it feels strangely comforting, pleasant (why?) - but these are words you would never say, even in your mind.

In this moment, you don't want to know the answer - for reasons you can't word.

This time, you let her go - to avoid finding out if she's real or not.

* * *

The spectres don't attack on the way back. In fact, it is as if they never existed to begin with. But you force yourself to keep walking, regardless of the impulse that tells you to turn around.

The encounter left you with a strange set of lingering memories, that take a while to finally settle within your mind - these aren't yours, but _hers_. And they speak of her own experience and passing of time, since the end of the war. They answer the unwanted question, that you refused to find the response to.

It was _Sakura_. None other than her. And there is a distinct twitch in your fingers. So close, so why in _hell_ did you just walk away? Could it have been justified by the dazed state you were in? It has to be that. It _must_ be.

But these memories - they give you a handful of names that could be incredibly useful.

Whoever the punishment is for, it does not matter - these civilian medics don't stand a chance.

You can't sever the bond, but you will do anything in your hands to circumvent that. There are no lights in a path of darkness, are there? _Anything_ is valid.

It is, after all, for a dream.


	23. Love and Hate | Arc III: Ricochet

_Love is always going to win the fight._

The body has fallen forwards, slumped over and lifeless. Someone is trying to shake it awake, but it's impossible to touch it without being ensnared by the flares of darkness that crawl over its skin. The scene is strangely devoid of sound, even though it's clear someone is screaming.

It's a vaguely familiar brunette girl, whose voice is lost in the rift that separates these people from their spectator.

There is someone on a bed, the target for these black tendrils that are coming out of the dead person, but it's hard to tell what are they doing. These things seem chaotic, _evil_ in an ineffable way. The idea of them having a _purpose_ beyond being a mistake of creation seems foreign.

The watcher looks at the female body, still too young yet clearly marked by many battles. Perhaps hardened to become a warrior, but still a maturing child, whose cord was severed too soon. Maybe it's better this way - it's all over for her now. It's a shame, she thinks. Such pretty pink hair…

It isn't only until the watcher starts to be pulled backwards, away from the strange scene, that something clicks and a horrible realisation dawns on her.

_I have pink hair too._

She tries to reach out, but she has no arms - she's only a floating consciousness that has been pulled away from its vessel. Further, into a blurred darkness that is eroding away every memory, every color of a being once brimming with life. Soothing, a quiet lullaby that speaks of eternal emptiness.

_I don't want to die!_

But why? An existence without a purpose is meaningless, only a slog from one painful happenstance to another - a powerless stone thrown into the ocean, which the waves will polish hit after hit. What is the point of living, if it is merely for surviving? These thoughts of apathy threaten to engulf the last remains of her spirit, slowly but steadily stealing away all she ever was.

Sonorous, the voice of a bell chorus dies off in the distance - familiar silhouettes drawn against the ever-dimmer light. She falls into this bottomless abyss, a piece of oblivion that welcomes her with open arms.

A loud thud snaps her attention back to what has to be the world of the living. It is so bright compared to that darkness, that she finds herself staring in awe at what has to be a plain wooden wall. Her own hand reaches out, her mesmerized state making her forget that, moments ago, she was _dead_.

Her hands run over the polished wall, the bright wood soft underneath her fingertips. What a strange thing, she muses. Everything is quiet for a few minutes, and she isn't disturbed in her moment of investigation. Something so mundane had never caught her attention before, but now? Now, it's the anchor to life - the proof that she is still here.

A scream. She winces, whipping around and placing her eyes on her newfound company… who seems to be asleep. The girl takes a moment to scan her surroundings with her eyes: a small, empty room, that gives off a cold spartan vibe. A word floats to the surface of her thoughts - _shinobi_. Although the walls and floor are boarded with wooden planks, there are no windows, and it's almost pitch black dark.

There is only a bed, where her strange companion lies, and a sliding door that is firmly closed. She gets up on her feet (was the sound earlier from her fall into this unknown place?), her steps bringing her to the single entrance to the room. There is a symbol painted on the door, one that she can recognise.

Digging through her hazy memories, she finally attaches the name _Uchiha_ to it. With this connection comes a barrage of information that she apparently learned by heart, sometime in the past. And a realisation, one that makes her turn to the sleeping body on the bed. Now, she can clearly determine this person's identity. Male, black haired, _familiar_.

He is still asleep, though his face is scrunched up in what seems to be anger, perhaps disgust or even fear. Although the latter of the list is very unlikely, there is no mistaking the nuances that express such an emotion, plastered all over his face. There should be a feeling of danger in this close quarters encounter, but there isn't even an ounce of wariness.

For some reason, Sakura isn't scared. Maybe because everything feels like it's behind an invisible curtain. Her steps make no sound, and though she knows her heart is beating, she can't feel it. Her own hands are devoid of the tendrils she has gotten used to seeing, everyday, every hour.

In a way, this feeling of detachment also tells Sakura that he won't be able to hurt her.

She tiptoes closer, possessed by a sentiment of curiosity. It has been a long time since she had a chance to merely look at him. Part of her wonders about his current state - though he doesn't seem hurt, it is clear his dreams are unpleasant. Why, she doesn't really know, or dare to ponder about. Perhaps if he had been younger, if he hadn't committed such atrocities, then she would have wondered, maybe even worried.

Sakura finds herself noticing that her own emotions have gone numb, with something akin to disinterested analysis.

Kneeling next to the low mattress, her green eyes are transfixed with the sight before them. It is hard to see a monster on the face of a sleeping person, even if that person is Sasuke Uchiha. These expressions aren't drawn by a cold external façade or mere, seething hatred. No, underneath his eyelids, pure and true emotions are bubbling up, painting themselves on his body language.

He doesn't look too different from the last time she saw him, a couple of months ago. His thrashing around has left his hair messy and tangled, and that makes her wonder if he actually bothers to even brush it. While on its own that would be a pretty stupid, blush-inducing thought, the fact that it's the first thing that comes to mind speaks volumes of her current state. Even though the darkness is gone, she knows her mind isn't working as it should.

Proper procedure would be to find something pointy and stab him with it. Repeatedly, just to make sure. Uchihas seem to have an uncanny ability to dodge death.

' _You can do it…_ ' hisses a voice, syllables dripping venom. Sakura turns her head around, but there is no one. However, a bubbling feeling finds its way in her heart - one that she recognises, but had never experienced in this magnitude.

Hatred. Pure, unforgiving - mind-numbing anger for the almost-adult teenager who sleeps on this bed. She glimpses a flashbacks of all the things that should condemn him - and then more. Overwhelmed by rage that barely reaches the qualification of rational, she falls forwards, barely stopping herself from crashing into him with her hands.

Trembling, she closes her eyes and attempts to take in enough air, but it's impossible. Her heartbeat has gone wild, finally letting itself be felt inside her ribcage, each pulse hammering uncontrollably. Like a wildfire, the heat provoked by her reaction extends throughout her body, reaching as far as her fingertips.

What is this feeling? She never, ever felt something like it before - it goes far beyond the normal limits of the word _hatred_. Its sole presence blurs her thoughts and vision, prompting her to destroy, to _kill_. It doesn't belong to her normal, albeit quite wide and uncontrolled, range of emotions. Where did it come from?

' _Right in front of you._ '

Sakura raises her head minutely, and her gaze meets another pair of eyes, half-lidded and dark. Too close. She winces by instinct, jumping back a good half meter. The room is too small, but maybe beyond the door there is a place to run and hide.

In response, as if moved by reflexes, his own hand darts forward, towards her neck. That is too damn _fast_! Sakura raises her own hands, in an attempt to prevent it, and by some miracle of luck, she manages to block the attack. His fingers tangle awkwardly with hers, dazedly trying to hold onto something.

This is the moment where she realises that he's not truly awake. His eyes are glassed over, too unfocused to be actually looking at something - in her panic, she had been more focused in getting away than checking this little _detail_. Even though some people have trained enough to be able to defend themselves while sleeping, that was too quick to have time to _think_.

There is also the slight issue of handholding none other than Sasuke Uchiha - something that would have filled her younger self with pure glee, but it only puts her on edge now. Is she really safe? It doesn't feel like that anymore. The contact, the feeling of rough skin against hers and what is, unmistakable, human warmth, feel too real. _Too close_.

How did she end up here anyways? Her memories are foggy, too vague to be able to recall anything more than darkness, being pulled away from a distorted sense of _home_ \- then, she ended up here, in the lair of her worst enemy. Is it a dream? It's too real, too focused. There's always bells, feathers, voices… but everything is eerily quiet, except for the sound of their breathing.

Sakura has no qualms in admitting to herself that she is afraid to move. Perhaps in the past she would have felt more confident, but she does remember about the Ningyo seal. Maybe she has lost the ability to see it, once more, but she knows it would be a game of cat and mouse, if he woke up.

Then, he pulls, strong enough to cause her to lose her balance for a moment. Faceplanting into him with very little grace, she curls her fingers into a fist, with her free hand. With or without chakra, the pinkette is very sure that if there is a sleeping bastard she can punch, it's him. Her brain lists all the weak spots that would grant a one-hit kill, should they be struck with sufficient force.

She knows she doesn't have weapons - at some point in the recent past, she had to get rid of them. However, Sakura can't remember why, though all that matters is that she is unarmored. Not much of a problem for her. The feeling of utmost hatred, that had taken a second spot in her priority list due to panic, comes back to hit her with full force.

' _I'm not thinking rationally,_ ' she notes, putting a halt to her plans of a gruesome murder. Self-defense is one thing, going out of her way to kill, on the other hand…

"How vulgar, I would think you would be a bit more harsh," snaps a voice that sounds familiar, in a way that is hard to pinpoint. "Or do you want me to wake him up and see what he says to _you_?"

It's the same person as before, a female, but… Sakura can't see her. Trying to stay as still as possible and raking her brain for ideas leaves very little time for sightseeing, anyways. All she can think is that the voice is _too loud_ and if Sasuke wakes up, she's going to be deep in trouble. Pretty much at grave level.

The person, who is probably a disembodied voice, has a point: why _not_ kill him, now that he seems vulnerable, after all he's done? Naruto wouldn't want to kill Sasuke, but… he's dead now. And no one would vouch for the last remaining Uchiha. Karin, perhaps, but chances are she was killed too.

A single crow feather is carried by a gust of wind, landing in front of her nose and on a precarious balance, on Sasuke's shoulder. From one blink to the next, it has been replaced by a kunai - one she recognises clearly, even though it's barely different from the standard. Beckoning for her to hold it, _use it_. Due to the weight shift, the weapon falls to the mattress with a soft thud.

Sakura's eyes widen just a fraction of an inch, eyes tentatively checking the Uchiha's face, just to make sure he's still asleep. _How hasn't he woken up?_ A ninja of his level should be able to detect chakra signatures that are this close.

"That's the thing, you don't have a different one," comments the voice, dragging syllables with an air of boredom. "How is it that you have never wondered the long term effects of a seal like Ningyo? Chakra, from a different person, closely keeping a hold of your own… mingling, like venom…"

"Who are you?" Sakura dares to ask, turning her head to the side. Her left hand is still stuck with Sasuke's right, which rests on the other side of his body. Her head is resting in an awkward position over his abdomen, where she can only view part of the room. The voice comes from somewhere out of her field of vision, where the feet of the bed should be.

A snicker, despicable and mocking.

"I am you, in his eyes… Because if these are the windows to the soul, they also distort, they perceive things in a unique way. But fret not, he does not hold reign of my actions," she adds, just as Sakura tenses up, ready to fight. "You could say I live in a place he cannot control… yet. Probably never. I fuel his nightmares, he gives me life with hatred. Pretty nifty setup, if you ask me. While I am here, you're safe… but you should kill him."

"...Wouldn't that kill you, too?" inquires Sakura, doing her best to _slowly_ turn her head around. Sasuke, as suggested by the voice's words, doesn't seem to notice at all. In fact, the only reaction is a twitch in his hand and a pained groan.

The pinkette lifts her head, deciding it's best to not play tug of war with her own hand - instead, she settles for a still very awkward position, arching her back over Sasuke's body and propping herself up with her free hand, placing it on the other side of the bed. However, her eyes soon leave the observation of her predicament, her attention focused solely on the strange doppelgänger that meets her gaze with a malicious smirk.

She looks… so similar. Just like she did, during the war, although her clothes are ripped and her headband is missing. There are wounds on her that indicate a brutal mauling… and it is disturbing to see that these injuries match her own scars.

"Hi, dear," she whispers mellifluously, with the voice of a cat about to pounce a mouse. Or deciding how to play with it. No, Sakura doesn't trust her. Something in these eyes is… wicked. Wrong. _They look like they're from an Uchiha_. Pressing her teeth together, she steels her gaze and stance. "You know, if you want to get up, you can do it. If you really want to lie down with him, go ahead. He won't wake up."

A fiercer heartbeat is the only reply she gets - Sakura is dumbstruck at the choice of words. _This_ is how Sasuke sees her?

"You're really stupid, by the way," insults the clone, freely, putting a hand on her hip and checking her nails. "You don't get him at all. And neither did the foxy idiot, but at least he had a chance at fighting. You should really get your shit together, because unlike him, you'll be toast if he goes for you."

 _Think, Sakura_. This creature is fueled by hatred, isn't it? That is why the behavior of her doppelgänger is so vile, so _Uchiha_ \- the intensity of these emotions slapped her earlier, though she isn't sure how. This fake Sakura talks about a… connection. A mix between her own chakra and Sasuke's. That has to be the thing that allows her to bypass his shinobi instincts, and see this apparition.

But why does she want her to kill Sasuke? She didn't answer the question, but it's likely that the clone will die if she is cut off from her source of energy. Her chakra is eerily similar to her own, it lacks the vitality that signals living beings - the other Sakura is connected to Sasuke, so if he is killed, she will also be eliminated.

In a blink, the other Sakura is in front of her eyes, the tips of her bare feet placed on each side of Sasuke's legs. Inches away from her face, the doppelgänger twists her neck in an impossible angle, tilting her head to the side and smiling innocently.

"You don't know anything, sweetie," she spits, though there is no breath. From up close, Sakura can see that her outline is blurry, just like that weird genjutsu… "Tell me, _Sakura-chan_ , what do you know about love?" And she plops down on Sasuke's knees, as if he wasn't there at all, or she really didn't care. If she wasn't entranced by the emerald gaze that mimics her own, Sakura would want to look back and make sure he's really out of it.

 _This has to be a dream…_ Fast like lightning, the clone slaps her, using her nails to leave crimson marks on Sakura's cheek. It's strong enough to almost make her fall over, but her instincts tell her that in this case, it's better to stay still. Perhaps it's the same effect that a deer suffers when caught in the headlights.

"How rude of you! I asked you a question." Despite her plight, Sakura glares at the doppelgänger, who merely covers her mouth with two fingers, snickering lowly. "Do you want me to wake him up, so he can tell you? I'm sure there's a lot of things he'd like to _talk_ about."

 _Bitch._ Gritting her teeth even harder, Sakura scowls and decides that it's better to comply. She doesn't even know how she got here, or if she can get out. Maybe she's dead after all…

"Love means that you care enough about someone… that you would do anything to keep them safe. Anything, to see them smile. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness," Sakura recites, because this is a very important topic for her. Besides, it's not the first time someone asks this question.

Surprisingly, the doppelgänger nods in what seems to be sincere (although condescending) agreement. There is something similar to a wolfish smile on her face, and Sakura feels like she answered something that will only lead her into a great trap.

"Cute wording, but accurate. Have you ever thought that hatred is only a different word for love?" _Where are you leading me, you sly bastard?_ Sighing, the clone rolls her eyes. "Look at the Uchiha. They're the epitome of love, after all. Use the same description: to care about someone, or something, so much that you would do anything for them. And you can apply it to goals, passions, achievements… There is no difference."

"That doesn't make any sense," Sakura growls, trying to figure out a way to sit down. One that puts her as far from Sasuke as possible. "Hate only brings destruction… death. It doesn't achieve anything!" Feeling the urge to slap a hand over her own mouth, she glances at Sasuke, but he is still as lively as a corpse. He would look like one, if not for the ragged breathing shown on his chest.

Her attention is captured by five faint scars near his collarbone, converging in a middle point, where his heart should be - scratch marks. Sakura's eyes widen a fraction of an inch, because she _remembers_ how he got those. But they should have been erased by now…

A hand reaches out for her chin and forcefully takes her gaze back to the clone, who is smiling beatifically. However, her eyes are filled with an emotion that expresses the polar opposite. Instead of releasing Sakura's chin, her grip tightens, nails digging into her skin warningly.

"This is why you will never understand," she whispers, her tone slow and her cadency deliberately menacing. "Love… hatred… whatever word you give it - it's the pinnacle of human emotion." Her eyes light up with a strange, wild emotion. "When we value something over anything else… even ourselves. When the bond we feel is one we want to protect at all cost. Our greatest ambition… the thing we treasure most. It makes us _live_. You just don't understand... there is no difference."

The clone got the kunai, somehow, and juggles it with her free hand. Her expression shifts to a mischievous smile, though the glint in her eyes is hard to decipher.

"He wants you to try to kill him _so badly_ ," the apparition purrs, with a tone bordering seductive. Which only manages to raise more red flags on Sakura's head. "He _hates_ you with all of his might, dearie. You aren't a rival, you aren't an enemy… you're an _obstacle_ in his staircase to Heaven. You should see him, it's almost adorable to watch him suffer, because he doesn't know what to do with you."

Sakura shakes her head, the words buzzing around in her mind - they are being flung at her with the precision of senbon, yet their lethality doesn't come from how hatefully they're worded, but from the thoughts and emotions they stir when they hit.

"Seriously? Why is it so hard to believe?" snaps the clone, her nails definitely drawing blood on Sakura's chin. "Why would Sasuke-kun leave you alive, not once, but _thrice_?" When… _oh._ No, that was… that _wasn't_ real! "You're the thing he wants to preserve, and that is why he hates you! If not for you, he would have fulfilled his plan thoroughly!"

There. The doppelgänger's voice shifts in a way that shouldn't be possible - high-pitched, but dark. The true reflection of the hatred that composes her.

"Leaving you alive was a mercy…" she adds, a whisper so low it's barely audible. "Don't you understand~?" she chirps, her eyes demented, kunai forcefully placed inside Sakura's hand. The clone forces her fingers to close around the blade, the grip on her chin disappearing. As if it had never been there to begin with. "Killing him… fighting back - it's only a way to return the favor. Don't worry, I'm here to help."

With that, a jolt of energy pierces Sakura's hand. Like… electricity. She freezes in place, hearing the hints that indicate that Sasuke is no longer asleep. But his first act is to scream - a shriek that makes her recoil, filled with what seems to be the purest agony. His hand tenses around hers, a painful grip that she can't get herself out of.

Worse, he sits up, prompting her to fall on his lap like an ungraceful sack of potatoes. There is a distinct alarm of panic going off in her head, a few beratings regarding how she should have gotten out of here. However, her pragmatic side takes the chance to tighten her fingers around the kunai and make sure to hide it.

"Did you have a nice sleep~? I made sure to give you some _good company_ , I hope it's as enjoyable as usual!" sing-songs the clone, a bit further away than it was before. For some reason, Sasuke hasn't done anything. Hasn't moved a single inch, hasn't tried to kill her. He just… sits there.

He seems to notice that his fingers have probably gone numb from being in such a tight posture, for a good while. Sakura finds herself predicting the thought processes that go attached with it: he's holding a _hand_. Wary of a trap, yet apparently oblivious to the weight resting on top of him.

This silence could drive anyone into insanity, though it seems that no one in this room is really _sane_. Only then, Sakura notices the little detail that there is not a single light source. Yet, somehow, she can _see_ as clearly as if it were day. It has only been a couple of seconds, but it feels like an eternity.

"What did you do to me?" An invisible hand clenches around the pinkette's heart, when she hears _that_ voice. At this, she finds herself coming back to her senses - instincts that tell her to _flee as fast as humanly possible._

Swiftly, she plunges the kunai into his hand and pulls backwards, but he doesn't let go. In fact, the blade goes straight through flesh and bone, sinking harmlessly into the mattress. Without time to consider what the hell could cause that to happen - still with as much style as a sack of potatoes, she attempts to jump backwards anyway.

The result is a messy fall against the wooden floor, as she has no time to readjust for the fall. He turns his head towards her, although these eyes are still dark and unseeing. They flash into two clashing colors in an instant, and with her eyes focused on them, Sakura finds out that they bring back too many goddamn memories.

The clone mutters something, Sasuke's expression turns to surprise for a brief instant… and he reaches forward. However, all she can see is his eyes… endless pools of colors that are too bright for this room. They make her tune out the rest, and just like that, as soon as he blinks she is lost in the darkness once more.

The void engulfs her swiftly, as if it had been stalled, waiting for a moment to finally ensnare and destroy her… But the memories, sensations and emotions are still too fresh in her mind. This time, she can't merely _forget -_ she can't just _die._

A blurry room comes into her field of vision, splattered by what has to be too much blood...


	24. Lost and Found | Arc III: Ricochet

_Be conscious of your every breath, for it might be the last one you take._

"One. Two. Three. Fo-" Sakura lets out a groan, catching herself mid-fall with the help of a wall. "F-four. Five. Six. Se-ven..." She stops to catch her breath, still using her hands to support her body. It feels so heavy, numb, almost as if it wasn't hers. As of now, her own toes won't respond to her, and the only control she has over her legs is used to keep them stiff, so she won't fall over. "Eight…" A string of coughs makes the entirety of her figure tremble, but she bites her lip and pushes on. There are small, painful pricks on her legs. Her left arm still uselessly hanging by her side, just a dead weight that threatens to break her balance. "Ni...ne. ...Ten!"

A metallic taste fills her mouth, her ragged breaths becoming slightly choked. It's not very ladylike, but she spits the blood to the side and leans against the wall with her back, wiping her mouth and brow with her only working forearm. She clenches her fingers into a fist a couple times, trying to make her breathing match this rhythm. It's still nearly impossible to close her hand fully. Chest heaving and tiredness spread throughout her entire being - Sakura focuses on relaxing her muscles.

The cold air that runs through each of Engetsu's alley makes her shiver - she is only wearing her blue vest from Yugakure, the lapis color contrasting brightly against the grey and black surroundings. It's a necessary evil, in order to help with her attempts at using chakra to control body temperature. It's one of the only exercises she can do: chakra strings, small scalpels, sticking things to her fingers, or even just warming up certain areas of her body at will.

Anything, to get her to know how to manipulate chakra again. It feels forced, because there are many restrictions that weren't there before: gates and walls that regulate the influx, and they _will_ react painfully if she pushes them too hard. The seal doesn't like her tries of finding workarounds, but its purpose is to keep her chakra caged, not to kill her - that much she knows. Unless she uses an absurd amount of it, it won't kill her.

A week has passed since she found Tenten and Lee, and the _incident_ that nearly got everyone killed. Her memories are extremely blurry, but she passed out as soon as she forced the chakra to break through - according to Tenten, the tendrils of the Ningyo took a life of their own. She became truly a puppet of the seal, her body controlled by tentacles made of darkness, radiating an aura made of black fire… and lashed out.

She can't remember any of it, because she felt her consciousness be pulled away from her body as soon as she blacked out. When she regained control over herself, the house had been blown to bits, and a few different buildings had been burnt to the point of melting. The only reason no one died was Maru's quick reaction - apparently, for being such a tiny, compressed ball of hatred for any living being, he's pretty fast.

Her desperate attempt at saving Lee was not without consequences: her own body feels like that of a stranger's. It simply didn't respond, as if her chakra had been cut out from most of her limbs - if her theory is correct, it means that anytime she spends chakra, it's very difficult to gain it back, all because of the damn Ningyo. It only took her half an hour to figure out how to move chakra to the different parts of her anatomy, but in other to make them respond, she had to 'wake up' her limbs one by one.

She was alarmingly low on chakra, and these tendrils wouldn't stop pulsating and stinging her skin. After a few tries, she managed to figure out how much chakra she needed in order to _move_ \- still leaving her left arm unusable, and most of the energy on her legs is spent on the joints, so she can walk. Her right hand concentrates the majority of chakra, because it's still the easiest way to mold it and experiment. It's a constant effort, but although the method is new and unfamiliar, she has been manipulating chakra with ease for years.

Lee may or may not be missing half of his limbs, too... even though he is very much alive and ready to creep the world out with his antics. Sakura has been avoiding him like the plague, remorse gnawing at the edges of her consciousness constantly. When she forced all of that chakra… it came out like a burst. It broke his weaker version of a Ningyo, enough to let his body heal, but the two areas that were most damaged by it (his left arm and leg) simply _exploded,_ as they had simply blocked up with the seal's tendrils and fallen into decay.

She may have as well just let him die, because that's an almost certain career-end for a shinobi, even more a taijutsu specialist. It's true that said limbs were basically dead, so removing them possibly helped to save his life, but… it's definitely not what she intended. Sakura knows she failed, and though she stabilised him afterwards, it's a heavy weight in her mind. She has no wish to stick around too much, and as such most of her time has been spent _training_.

' _I'm not running… I'm giving him room,_ ' she tells herself, sighing.

Besides… since that weird experience she had with a doppelgänger of herself and Sasuke, she has been painfully aware of the fact that she can't _fight_. Seeing such a reminder of the vitriolic hatred he holds for her… it was a very much needed blow, to make her mind kickstart the process of becoming an able fighter once more. It's true that her training made her a glass cannonball - hit once to win, and never get hit. But as of now, she can't even move properly. and the sensation that the last Uchiha could come for her at any time…

She has seen glimpses of his memories, ever since that 'encounter' that may not even have been real. The chaos that followed the months after the battle - his never-ending clashes against the same demons that haunt her. At first, she thought he might have just been insane… but no, these things took a life of their own. He has been experiencing the same symptoms that she has, which leaves the pinkette wondering if the Ningyo is somehow affecting him too.

It's clear now: there is a part of the same energies that she holds, inside him. And they're driving him completely crazy. It's probable that the effort of applying the seal to her, took its toll on Sasuke. The memories she has are slightly clearer images, and through them she can perceive just how close to dying he was, himself.

They're also painful to look at, but they're deeply burned into her memory, as if they were her own. She can now understand things that were unclear before - such as every procedure he performed on her, in that dreadful aftermath. Is it relieving to know that he did not sexually assault her, even though the details of the torture are much worse than the little fragments she could remember on her own? No, not really - he did stab her with an electrically charged kunai in several places, even _down there_. Considering the frenzy he fell into, it's hard to know if he was even aware of what he was doing.

It makes no difference. He was trying to _destroy_ her, even though for some reason, he didn't kill her. The purpose was to shatter her whole being to pieces, and the only explanation she has comes from a weird clone of herself, spawned in his mind. The reason he didn't let her go, nor did he end her life: a clash of his strongest emotions. She was caught in the middle of it, and it seems like the final resolution hasn't been decided yet.

Else, when he had the chance, he would have finished the job. Because now she knows what happened, these times she thought he was seeing an illusion of him. He was _so close_ and she didn't even know. On its own, that thought is terrifying. She was never safe: the medics from Yugakure that found her, wanted to put her down; but they didn't, because she could be a good bargaining chip for the Hokage.

They were right, and now she knows how much her caretakers saved her ass… all while she was stabbing them in the back. The endless hours Sasuke spent trying to find her, because for some reason her chakra signature is nearly impossible for him to detect - and if it's because of their chakra _mingling_ , that could explain why she couldn't sense him, either. Her senses told her there wasn't _another_ person there.

It's ironic - the reason she has been able to slip by, mostly unnoticed, is the Ningyo.

But that also means that he can detect her outbursts more clearly (that's how he found out she was in Yugakure, to begin with), if her chakra somehow manages to erupt past the seal's cloak - and if that is correct, he might know where she is right now, because the shitshow that was trying to heal Lee was anything but subtle. She has never been good with stealth, either way.

Succumbing to panic is difficult, when her own body won't react properly. Even her hormones might be messed up, because as of now there is only a thick coat of tiredness covering everything. However, she felt his deepest emotions, unbarred - his hatred, his pain, and the same strong sensations that have been engraved in her own heart. It hurts, in a way that can't be described, because if she focuses on it, there is a distinct connection, empathy towards him, like nothing she ever felt.

She wonders if he is feeling the same. If he has memories of her, too. If he can feel what she felt that day, and her own fear. Sakura can't help but shudder at the thought that the bond that ties them together is a cursed blessing, for both of them. It allows her to see the true Sasuke, behind these eyes clouded by insanity, like maybe only Naruto ever could.

It's hard to hate him. The notion surprises her, because she should - although he did it for a goal (making the world a better place), he still committed all these atrocities. And it doesn't look like he will stop anytime soon. He succeeded in cutting enough ties… but then there's her. It's enough to bring tears to her eyes, because now she is absolutely certain that underneath the many shields and brutal intentions… Sasuke is still there.

Nobody else knows, nobody would even believe her. How could they, seeing the monster he strived to become? How could they know that underneath, he's falling apart? One of the emotions that caught her off-guard was a deeply seated _remorse_. For him it seems to be unidentifiable, pride and ego covering the truth, but she knows better. It isn't admitting he made a mistake, definitely not… but hatred carried his actions when he killed Naruto. At the bottom of his heart, he didn't _want to_.

' _You also have the weapons and insight to know where to strike,_ ' reminds her inner voice.

Sakura shakes her head, noticing only now that she stopped doing her exercises a while ago. She has been leaning against the wall, staring at her own feet, for a long time. It's a cloudy day, and the wind howls in-between the houses of Engetsu. Her only company are the many fragments of souls that she carries.

"I can also save him." And this time, she can't leave the task to someone like Naruto. This time, it's just her… and a choice that she has been postponing for a very long time.

Sasuke has the highest level of Mangekyō Sharingan, and the Rinnegan to boot. He is hundreds of miles ahead of anyone else in this world. With ninjutsu and speed alone, he could obliterate entire nations in matter of days. Yet he is still human, and if he can't be bested by strength alone, psychological warfare should suffice.

She has a very powerful position in this case, but she would still be crushed pretty easily, if he finally broke out of the deadlock that has kept Sasuke from killing her. It's pretty much impossible that the situation could change in any other way. Regardless of what she does… she must become stronger, and fast.

Either to fight against him, or perform the ineffable feat of making him come back to his senses. Be it for exploiting his weak spots and hitting where it hurts, or being able to get out of the way of his wrath.

Achieving either of these things will be short of being called a miracle. She can't even decide which one should she attempt, and now she is alone to bear the burden. No one but her could possibly do it. Running will only delay the inevitable, because no one can save her this time - there is no Naruto to make him come back to his senses. Ironically, this bond makes her the last person alive, to be able to truncate his plans, to _understand_ the person that lies behind the name of Sasuke Uchiha.

" _Killing him… fighting back - it's only a way to return the favor._ " The acidic venom, dripping from the clone's words, still makes an uncomfortable sensation spread through Sakura's stomach. Hatred, intense enough to make creatures like the doppelgänger come to _life_. It would be so easy to succumb to the inheritance that Sasuke left her, let it guide her hands and weapons to his throat...

Frowning, she pushes chakra to her legs as fast as possible, and takes tentative steps away from the wall. Ten minutes later, she is running through the streets of Engetsu, her thoughts and heart much heavier than her body feels.

* * *

Engetsu's people seemed to be _obsessed_ with apples. A long time ago, there was an _incident_ that made the shorelines be cluttered with all sorts of floating debris, remains of trees and an assortment of strange fruits. Sakura figured out there was probably an earthquake or tsunami. It must have washed over an island from the Land of Water all these years ago - and somehow, the remains ended up near Frost, much to the surprise and bewilderment of the townsfolk.

Trees weren't heard of by these secluded people, but some of the seeds ended up on the ground, giving birth to the first signs of vegetation that this country had ever seen. These hunters made everything out of stone, training dogs and chakra users to take down prey and threats - yet when the trees arrived, somehow surviving against the cold and harsh climate, they found themselves with wood and fruit.

Mostly, apples.

"Geez, don't these people have anything but fish and _apples_?" Sakura mutters to herself, digging through more and more boxes of frozen food. She can appreciate the intricate sealwork of chakra that keeps the items intact, even after months, but there is literally _nothing_ else. She focuses on the minute manipulation of each finger - never before had she noticed how complicated it is to move them. Not until every movement has to be perfectly balanced and calculated.

"No luck here either," informs Tenten, who is trying out her luck in a different part of the storehouse. "We really need something more durable, if we want to take a ship and leave…" the brunette grumbles, standing up and looking around. Sakura makes a sound of agreement - even if the food can survive for years in this cold climate, venturing into Water will require a better source of nourishment.

Sakura did her research on Engetsu's townsfolk. Thanks to all the documents she got from Shimo, she knows almost as much as if she had been living here for years - they don't use nets, their ships would have been old a century ago, everything they made has to be controlled with very specific chakra maneuvers and items. Not even their food is useful.

Winter is reaching its peak, the cold nights of December painting the world around Engetsu with more and more white snow. While Sakura and the others are safe inside the village, they desperately need to get out. Tenten inquired about this haste to leave, but the pinkette gave her a roundabout answer about the true reason. In no way could she explain that, day after day, she feels like Sasuke is getting closer to pinpointing her location. And while it's uncertain he would kill her… none of her companions would fare well.

Her excuse was finding allies and getting away from a place that could attract raiders - the brunette kunoichi was satisfied with this idea. Now that she and her last teammate aren't on the threshold of death anymore, she seems to have become much more energetic. She, too, wants to leave this place that has only brought grief. Sakura would even say that her companion is _antsy_.

One of the memories she obtained from Sasuke reflected his skirmish with Lee - the latter, just like Tenten told, did all he could to stall the Uchiha. The brunette herself pushed him away with a barrage of weapons - though ineffective, they were enough to make Sasuke have to shift his attention, and he immediately started chasing another target. He obviously didn't care about who he fought and killed.

These two were some of the few ninja that stayed behind to save their comrades - panic and horror ran rampant through the remains of the Alliance, animalistic instincts taking over every other wish or thought. Sasuke was radiating his aura with enough strength to make everyone around him be affected, beyond their codes and morals. It had been a carnage, and the memories of the event still make shivers run down her spine.

"Worst case scenario, you'd have to be our helmsman," comments Sakura, snapping out of her thoughts and grimacing at the sight of even more frozen fish. Tenten grumbles something about bad chakra control in a low voice as a response. But then again, the only other options are Misho (who still burns down things on a daily basis) and Lee. Who knows the horrors that could ensue if the latter got a hold of a whole _ship_ , one that has to be controlled with specific chakra outbursts. Sakura herself is having to open crates with very weird motions, unable to maneuver her fingers as efficiently as usual.

"If only I had my master scroll…" Tenten whispers, her mood clearly dampened by the lack of success with the search.

"Maybe you can make seals on my spare documents?" Sakura offers, trying to brighten up the conversation. "I know everything I need from most of them." No, Engetsu doesn't have _book_ _s_ either.

Tenten scoffs, grimacing as if she was remembering something painful.

"I've seen those papers. They could break if anything stronger than a breeze graced them," she sighs, dejectedly. "Trust me, Sakura-san, you don't want a dozen senbon to explode from a seal when it breaks like that." Is it just Sakura's impression, or is Tenten the kind of person who dislikes trouble, yet gets in tons of it? If that's not talking from experience…

A loud crash against the door interrupts her thoughts, the characteristic cry of 'DYNAMIC ENTRY!' making both girls wince. An instant later, the door flies off its hinges (Sakura dodges with as much grace as she can muster) and slams into a pile of crates, which are unsurprisingly filled with apples and fish. Then there's a green flash, a thud and a small groan.

"Lee!" Judging by her voice, Tenten is more annoyed than worried. Pitiful. The brunette puts her hands on her hips, glaring at her teammate. Sakura makes it a point to pretend she is still looking through crates. "What the heck are you doing?!"

"Practicing to strengthen the power of my youth, Tenten!" he replies, so cheerful that it causes the pinkette to want to hide even more. "I may have used too much force, but that only proves there are greater obstacles to overcome!"

"...Have you _been_ kicking down doors?" Sakura can make out her bewildered expression without having to look. It doesn't seem like a surprising event. _But how the hell is he moving around?_ If the brunette's words are to be believed, his reaction to a cane was short of deathly allergic.

There's bickering that confirms that, yes, Lee has been kicking _things_ in his path to the storehouse. And he doesn't seem to be ashamed of it, until Tenten lectures him loudly. In the meantime, Sakura confirms that, yes, this place is truly filled to the brim with fish and apples. She curiously picks up one of the fruits, examining the inkwork that covers the surface. The kanji for 'fresh' is delicately drawn on it. It's likely that every piece of food is decorated similarly, given that this place has a lot of snow and very little fun to partake in.

"Why did you come here?" Tenten finally inquires, definitely flustered, after a few minutes of rambling.

"Maru-san wants to have a word with…" He seems to doubt for a few moments, probably scanning the room in search for someone. Plastering a slight grimace on her face (and internally frowning even worse), Sakura knows it's time. She gets up, apple in hand, and pretends to be casual. "Sakura-san!" _Don't say my name like that. You shouldn't like me._

In moments like these, she feels guilty for not hating Sasuke like she should.

"Yes?" she inquires, turning around to face him. Lee looks exactly like she remembers him - still slightly pale, but apparently still in possession of a perfectly preserved spandex suit. The green monstrosity in front of her eyes is balancing himself on a single foot, cheerful as _hell_ despite everything.

' _He should be the one to take on Sasuke, not me,_ ' she muses, darkly. Mentally slapping herself for such thoughts, Sakura holds his gaze as best as she can. It _is_ hard to look away - half his hair has burnt away, and so have his characteristic eyebrows. It's _creepy_ and sad, and he did cry exaggeratedly over the loss of his 'youthful attributes'.

"...Oh. Right," the pinkette mutters, after a few seconds of awkward silence. She, technically, already knew what he came here for. Sakura knows her focusing skills are still quite crappy, to put it bluntly. However, for the past months everyone around her was used to her silences and weird behavior - this is a new dynamic that only brings to light the recurrent issue.

Lee seems to take this as a confirmation, and seemingly throws himself on the ground. In the blink of an eye, however, he's gone.

"...Dear Kami…" Tenten's left eye is twitching, because she has also seen how exactly he is moving around. Like an oversized crab, holding a balance that seems precarious and almost impossible, Lee is _definitely_ crawl-running _sideways_. Or hopping. It's better not to focus on the details of a way of moving so inherently _wrong_. It reminds her of another, very particular Konoha ninja, who insisted in hopping around in one leg while in the village. Apparently, the reasoning was that he was so good with girls he could 'score' twice the average amount, with only one leg. He wasn't truly wrong, either. His blood analysis always showed traces of certain drugs, but his behavior was remarkably odd.

Sakura snickers despite herself, tossing the apple towards Tenten. It requires moving energy from her fingers to her arm, to make the former lax and give strength to the throw - sloppy and painful, but it works. The kunoichi catches it by pure reflex, giving the pinkette a look that speaks of wishing her the best out there, as if she was about to head into a mortal battlefield.

When she reaches the port, where the rest of the group is still trying to find a working ship, Lee is already there. He runs around carrying stupid amounts of planks, rocks and chunks of ice, which _definitely_ shouldn't be able to stay in balance, on top of his side. He greets her with a wave of the stump of his arm, and Sakura truly flinches this time, but somehow manages to return the gesture before he speeds off somewhere else.

' _And I thought he couldn't get more disturbing,_ ' comments Sachi, whose eye is twitching in unison with Sakura's. Lee is definitely a very special kind of person.

The docks aren't precisely big, but it still takes her a while to find out where Maru and Misho are. The majority of these ships are made of more black stone, that seems to be floating just because. In truth, she knows there is special ice filling the underside of the vessels, and careful chakra manipulation of the water and said ice makes them not only avoid sinking, but mannable.

Inside one of these archaic, unremarkable monstrosities, she finds her two companions. Misho is uselessly trying to get the ice to react, but his fire nature and lack of control are only making the room become heated. Sakura makes it a note to mark the position of the nearest exit, just in case.

The rat looks at her just like he has been doing the past days: these little, black eyes, reveal that he is up to something. However, he twists the muscles of his face into something that looks like a predatory grin, and jumps onto her shoulder eagerly.

"...I am _not_ getting you more geodes," she grumbles. Her reply is a hard smack on the back of the head, with what has to be his bō.

"Ah, Pinky, you are going to _make_ me more geodes," he replies cheerfully. "I'm sure you know about elemental chakra combinations."

"...Yes? But I don't think I can combine any of mine, definitely not in this state," she replies, uncertain. The rat _always_ has a plan - and if he doesn't, he can improvise one just as fast. Something about his voice tells her she will be spending a lot of time and effort into whatever he wants. "It requires mastery of at least two elements, and even then, I've never been able to do it in the past. Most users have bloodlines to aid them, and I don't." She trails off, because there is a very big list of 'nope' when the idea of combining natures comes to mind.

It's a sore spot for her, she has to admit - with excellent chakra control, she should be able to do it with much more ease than the majority of shinobi without kekkei genkai. She knows the inner working of the process, the delicate manipulation that is needed to do it - yet every time she tried to pick apart or combine natures, it was impossible to hold more than one at the time. The end result was a slow and sloppy, step-by-step combination of different jutsu. Tsunade-sama eventually decreed it was a waste of time, and that Sakura should focus on the things she could master.

"Don't worry, I will teach you, ah."

Consequently, the first thing she does is become anxious.


	25. Cheat the Rules | Arc III: Ricochet

_Fate is not made by gods, but crafted, changed by humans._

Scrolls and books are scattered across the ample table - mission reports, letters, but the majority are documents written ages ago, about secret jutsu that only a few select people ever knew about. Yet there are no records for the one he looks for: no clan, no Kage, ever heard about something called _Ningyo_ (or Ningyō). As it is, Sasuke doesn't even have an accurate name for it. Puppet Seal, Mermaid Seal… there are jutsu with similar names, but none of them has characteristics like it.

He can still see the faint outline of Sakura (chakra flowing through her, intense fear radiating from her invisible figure - as she backed away from him). He would have thought it was just a dream, but the mattress had been distinctly marked by a kunai strike. He knew she wasn't really there, as she made no sound or had any weight on him (but…)

It felt so real (more than anything he has experienced in the past months). Yet it's not possible that Sakura simply dropped into his room. Unless… Concentrating, he sets his mind on the connection that they seem to share, this strange link that he can't fully understand yet. He can see glimpses of her through it, yet he refuses to make good use of it.

If she caught on (the doppelgänger snickers), things could get messy. Granting a person like her access to something so intimate could be troublesome, if not even dangerous. But this time, it's an exception - and he sees a bloody room, and a lifeless body that he knows too well. His breath halts - she _died_? He _dreamed_ about it, but he didn't relate it to the fact that when he woke up, she was right there. Like everything else, it makes no sense.

Outside, it's almost dawn. The night has been plagued by voices and shadows trying to reach to him, stronger than ever, but his mind has been solely focused on solving this bizarre mystery. Her Ningyo seal seems to be one of a kind, a unique jutsu that was created by pure accident - and that means that to discover its true nature, he would have to see her from up close.

It's an ineffable feeling - but he knows she is alive. Just as much as he can feel his own hands, he knows she is there (but does he want her to be gone, to begin with? Shouldn't that make things easier?).

"Are you scared, sweetie?" Sasuke doesn't bother to give a glance to the apparition, who has been particularly poignant with her statements. What happened while he was asleep? Did, somehow, these two different versions of Sakura interact? "Afraid she'll bite off your face while you stare like an idiot?"

No, this vile clone is right - she is an enemy, and should be treated as such. It's truly impossible that she would want to be anything else, despite the bizarre sensations he can feel through the bond. It has to be a lie, a distortion. He knows that his own mind is twisted and bent, and discerning fake from real has become increasingly difficult. This must be the reflection of some foolish _hope_ , from her, like the hatred of the doppelgänger.

It's not his, it's not true, it's just - fake love.

...Right?

* * *

Sakura Haruno was born as an average person - with a normal family background, a not-so-exciting childhood (no murders, massacres or missing parents), and definitely no bloodline abilities that could make her an outstanding shinobi. Pink hair is rare, and it's true that her intelligence is above the norm, but there was nothing else about her that could put her apart from other students.

And about her high scores? Anyone can be a bookworm with enough time. That alone doesn't make a good field shinobi. Though praised for her quick and analytical thinking, she spent a very long time being positively _average_ or just outright bad at everything else. She had one unique talent: her ease in the field of thinking and studying patterns gave her prowess with chakra control and genjutsu dispelling. Did she make use of it? No, not really - she treated these skills like she would do with an exam.

Reach exactly what her sensei asked of her, and stop there. Why do any extra effort, when she could best her teammates at tree-climbing without even trying? She was already _good_ at the task at hand, so there was no point in doing it again - schoolwork was over.

It took her too long too realise that as a shinobi, the limits of the human body are challenged _constantly_. Physically, psychologically and emotionally - in a battle, in _war_ , passing the exam doesn't guarantee survival. It's rare to be in a perfect condition. A ninja that appreciates their life will need _anything_ and everything in order to survive and thrive.

There is no perfect score. Even the strongest can fall prey to their weaknesses. Learning, trying, giving it all out on getting better… it makes the difference between life and death. And most importantly: it grants the ability to protect the things she cares for. This harsh reality slapped her when she was unable to do just that, and Sasuke slipped right between her fingers, Naruto following closely.

Ever since, she has been trying to make up for this mistake - she spent hours upon hours honing her skills, even the things she wasn't good at. The less liabilities, the better. Slowly but steadily, she stopped hiding behind the mask of a pretty girl - she had to give it all, no barriers held up. Even her inner voice stopped being prominent, as she didn't hide behind feigned neutrality so often.

Anything she could do to become better, she did. Yet at the end of these years of training, she was still used to relying on other people, unless she necessarily had to take a main role. While fearsome, Sakura was very aware that she was reluctant to take the spotlight - and with good reason. Perhaps it was a decayed remain of her past self, maybe a punishment - probably, it was just because she knew other people could do much better.

And she had to be there if these people got hurt - she was in charge of making sure that she didn't lose anyone, ever again. Even if it meant using her own hand to make a heart keep beating. At some point, she decided that it was time to truly _shine_ \- and so she stepped up next to her old teammates. With the Yin seal on her forehead, she had the right to be on the frontlines like any other shinobi, despite being a medic.

Then, everyone was gone and she was alone, bearing the burden of guilt and shame, the marks of a compassionate survivor. _It wouldn't have happened if I had been stronger._ _If I had been able to save them. If I had fought Sasuke like I should have._ Hour after hour, day after day - it ate away her mind. Because in the end, it hadn't mattered - none of it had.

Everyone was _gone_ and, venomously, a dark part of her head still keeps saying that it is her fault. Shouldn't have wasted any chakra, shouldn't have spared a second thought for someone who should be an enemy. All her fault, for not doing what she should _have_ instead of what her heart asked.

Maybe it is.

But there is no way to turn back time, except for myths of time-travelling scrolls and jutsu. Realistically, the end result is that only a few of these people survived: Sasuke is definitely the most prominent figure among these. She cannot possibly _rely_ on him, because regardless of what his true self might be, he is even a bigger mess than she is. None of the other survivors could _understand_...

In truth, she is _alone_ to take the reins and her own shot at changing destiny. No one else has the level of information and understanding that she does, the unwanted _bond_ that has caused so much grief (yet neither side has been able to fully sever it). Now, it's up to her.

Sakura knows that her major flaw and still greatest strength are her emotions. Her heart, mind and body sway with their flow. Yet these sentiments have been crushing her soul for months… and they cloud the true answer to what should she do. In that regard, she will never be a good shinobi, and she knows. But now, the only solution is to find a way to tame them, accept them or get rid of them. She knows what her answer will be.

She knows too well.

There are hundreds of soul fragments within her body, only a reminder of the burden she carries. It has been proven to her that they can be both guidance and a source of danger, based on the oscillation of her own emotions and Sasuke's. She still had not expected when the rat mentioned 'combining natures' was for him to tell her to _meditate_ , again.

Truth be told, the pinkette didn't feel too thrilled about going back _there_. Last time, she had barely any control at all over the things that happened. Even now, aware that there are 'spirits' protecting her, she feels uneasy. It doesn't bring back good memories.

"You have the knowledge of, ah, a few hundred shinobi stored within you," the rat explained, with a tone that challenged her acclaimed intelligence not too subtly. "I'm sure at least one of them can teach you how to make geodes, ah."

* * *

When she opens her eyes, the familiar meadow welcomes her warmly. Breathtaken, she blinks. It has been so long since she last saw anything remotely similar to home, the warmth of summer, the whispers of the trees… But this place, although clearly a fantasy, is a reflection of the place Sakura calls _home_. This time, it's as peaceful as the first time she saw it. It's inviting, genuinely _nice_.

However, this time it's not her inner self waiting for her, nor Naruto or Ino. The illusion of a peaceful mindscape dissolve into images of chaos and fire and screams - as she sees that the one waiting for her is none other than her mentor. Sakura is used to considering that most of the people she knows are dead - but it's one thing to guess, and another one to see the ghost of her mentor with her own eyes.

It's a completely different, horrifying feeling. Perhaps she started to regain hope, when she found people from her past. But the truth is, that the majority of them are still dead. Instead of having nothing to dream for, now she can feel how her heart crushed. The world spins around her, blurry, memories and sensations coming to her mind with the strength of a tsunami. It's unstoppable.

And just then, she perceives movement out of the corner of her eye - coming straight towards her. _That's_ -

' _DODGE!_ ' Her instincts kick in, and the pinkette finds herself jumping away faster than she can process what is happening. When she lands, she hears a painfully familiar voice echoing in her ears.

"I knew I had taught you better than that." Her body is tense, ready for action, although her mind seems to be trying to pick up the scattered remains of her coherent thoughts. The illusion has shattered, and everything around her is frozen and silent. "Sakura!"

"Hai!" She responds by instinct, green eyes focusing on Tsunade. She really hasn't changed at all… Not in body, not in attitude. Her stance is the same as she remembers, her expression as fierce as it always was. As if this was just another day in a training ground, endlessly practicing a fighting style that she now knows by heart.

"Get a hold of yourself, Sakura!" And this time her eyes widen, surprise etched on her face, because a sudden thought has struck her mind: _she believes in me_. Even after her death, whatever remains of her shishou still reflects faith in her. Hard to tell when she nearly got knocked out in her own mindscape, but she knows well. A chain reaction sets off in her mind - another one she cannot stop, but this time, she doesn't want to. As if woken up from a dream, washed over by a wave of pleasant warmth, she realises _it's not over yet_.

It's a strange thought. But it feels nice.

* * *

Since then, the pinkette has been practicing under her tutelage once more. The first thing her shishou did was command her to analyse every pathway of the Ningyo - learn exactly where is each block and restriction, down to the most minute detail. The results ranged between expected and shocking.

As she sat in the middle of that peaceful meadow, Sakura discovered two things about the Ningyo: its restrictions against the Yin seal not only block it completely, but also affect the way her brain works. It's such a small thing… but her thoughts are filled with the venom inside the Ningyo, the one created by Sasuke's hatred. Hence the random outbursts of panic or unexplainable anger… the seal is anything but stable.

Secondly, half of her own heart has been smashed into a pulp. The memory of being held down, a fist crashing straight through her ribcage, replayed in her mindscape. In fact, the reason the seal has such a high level of control over her is that, for all intent and purpose, she _should_ be dead. The damage was too much, yet in her desperate attempts at drawing energy from somewhere, she took the one that Sasuke had just given her, charged with both his hatred and chakra, and the lingering remains of natural energy in the atmosphere.

It wasn't a conscious effort, it did save her life… but the realisation was still shocking. A sense of overwhelming disgust washed over her, at the thought that she was barely a person anymore. _Mingling_ _energies_ doesn't even come close to describing it. The truth is that there isn't enough of a _soul_ left inside her body, to be able to reconstruct it. Should the seal be removed, she would die. It explains _so many things_ … even her newfound connection to the spirits of the deceased, whose existence she used to be sceptic about.

These are facts of life she will have to live with. Her own internal energy is held in a chokehold, barely short of being called a miracle.

* * *

Perhaps the shock of learning this was too much - that her soul is only kept together by thick threads of hatred. But she has collapsed once more - and it has been three days since the last time she visited her mindscape. Two more days of dodging her companions and their questions, because there is no way she could possibly _explain_ without delving into insanity - it hasn't been much since she met up with her Konoha comrades, but she can already feel the strings of nostalgia tugging at her heart.

These people are all that remains of a very precious treasure, now a distant and distorted memory. Worrying about them, caring about their well being… it's just a second nature to her.

Perhaps that is why, when she perceives a pulse in the deepest regions of her heart, she enters a new state of frantic agitation. She can feel a surge of chakra racing through her veins, one that doesn't belong to her, but is altogether familiar. _Something_ has happened to Sasuke, but it's difficult to tell if it's a good or a bad thing. The pinkette feels slightly nauseated - since the _incident_ with Lee, she is certain she can perceive the state of her last teammate. It's vague and distant, but it's there.

And right now, it reminds her that he is still out there: hunting for her, restlessly, falling deeper and deeper into his own sinkhole of dementia… She can sense it, as if these feelings were her own. It reminds her that one way or the other, she has to get out of here. The others wouldn't stand a chance, and it's very unlikely that they would manage to escape. Where would they run to, anyways?

Tenten has managed to sink three whole ships, with no signs of progress - _someone_ has to remain in charge of maneuver, yet no one seems to be capable of doing so.

The wolf-dogs have started to prey on them, too. It begins with distant howling, then bright eyes shining in the darkness around Engetsu… then, shadows moving through the alleys, watching, waiting. When the first one attacks, the rest follow en-masse. Since then, her group has moved closer to the docks and stays away from the ground as much as possible. These beasts are restless. They have been trained to use chakra for centuries, to hunt and kill with these rudimentary, yet effective methods.

Sakura knows that, as much as these animals can be loyal and beloved companions to humans, hunger has driven them over the edge. The ones that were abandoned have banded together, and it's certain they learned to hunt for _humans_. She still doesn't want to know how did they get the practice to do that. And she has _seen_ and heard voices that shouldn't be there, coming from the position of the dogs. It's not farfetched to think they might be influenced by the lingering spiritual energy, caused by the war.

With the worst of winter ravaging the land around them, the constant threat of the canines and the lengthy list of disabilities that hold back the people from her group, it becomes obvious that the sea is the only escape. Maybe it's paranoia, that drove her to attempt the impossible; perhaps it's the fear that, sooner or later, someone will die and she can't let it happen. But she goes _back_.

Determined to, at least, try to put up a fight… against a fate that seems to be constantly trying to push her down.

* * *

One week is what it takes her to regain enough energy to move around without constant effort. Four days to learn her new limits regarding chakra manipulation, and by the end of it, she can manipulate it through her system without bumping into the Ningyo too much. Two days, and she learns that with some effort, it's possible to channel a marginally bigger amount of chakra through the holes of the seal.

It feels like choking - like going through a narrow tunnel where there is barely enough space to move. Yet the walls of the tunnel are made of tissue that can be pushed, even if it's painful. Too much chakra, and the seal closes around the hole; too little, and it's too slow to be worth anything.

Much to Sakura's chagrin, the Yin seal is still firmly shut off. None of her probing attempts helps, and in the end she has a brutal headache to prove her effort. But she can make chakra tendrils on her own, even some scalpels. She can walk up walls and stand atop the water once more. It requires the most minute manipulation of her chakra, and it would be impossible to straight up run up a house - moving the chakra around her constricted pathways requires time and effort.

But she can do it. And with some more practice, she is able to stick her arms into a basin of water, and pull back the transparent liquid, stuck to her. Then, she can expel it in an instant, all at once with perfect synchrony. Without spare energy to use and roughly half of her usual chakra amount, any jutsu is tiresome. Seals have to be done slowly, in order to avoid physical pain.

A month has passed - and today her steps take her to the nearest working ship. Sakura breathes deeply, her senses scanning her surroundings just to make sure that she isn't being preyed on. It's an uncharacteristically sunny day, and the sea is calm enough. It's time - she has been waiting for a week, but the weather isn't precisely peaceful in this wretched place.

Her fingers clench around the _kunai_ \- the one that has been chasing her in her dreams, since the day Misho snapped. She isn't entirely sure if the item is real, but she isn't about to ask. No matter where she leaves the weapon, it will end up reappearing somewhere near her in the future. She gave up trying to get rid of it weeks ago, instead using it as a focal point for her attention. There isn't anything special about it - yet she knows she would be able to recognise it anywhere.

"I really have never seen a condition like this before," comments Tenten, sitting near her as the pinkette starts her warm up exercise. Slow pushes of chakra throughout her body, following the rhythm of her breath and heartbeat. "Are you certain you can hold it up?" she adds, glancing with worry at the chosen vessel. It isn't like Tenten to doubt like this, but she has already seen Sakura's efforts in the past weeks.

Sakura shakes her head, making her chakra swirl and spin around one of her fingers. It's just enough that there is a soft glow around her figure. She makes it jump from one fingertip to the other, her brow furrowed at the slight sensation of pain. Throwing chakra out and catching it is the next exercise from Tsunade-sama - to ensure that she can manipulate it well enough.

Certain parts of her body are capable of holding more energy than others, so she has been trying to use that to her advantage. Shoulders, elbows, knees - any points where different parts of the chakra system converge. Passing it through the gates is the hardest part, but she'll find a workaround for that, too.

"I can't really do too much with it," she replies, stretching. "But I've studied the mechanisms of these ships… as long as the balance isn't overloaded or the energy runs out, it should be fine. They have a nifty storage system, even though they're not made for travelling as far as we intend to."

"Do you have a plan?" inquires Tenten, casually flicking a kunai over her shoulder. It lands in the middle of a set target, a few meters behind her. Injured or not, her aim is still on point. Sakura stands still, basking in the warmth of the sunlight, the breeze of the sea and the waves… It's truly a peaceful day.

"There are a few islands not far from here. We have a couple options, but most of them are too small and aren't populated. Once we find a village, we should stay undercover and keep moving." Tenten doesn't say it, but the question lingers in the air between them: _and then, what?_ Where to go, what to do? "Let's see if this piece of rock can actually function!" she announces, deciding to veer her thoughts away from these dangerous places.

She hops onto the irregular floor of the chosen ship's deck, jogging down to the control room and sitting down on the small stool carved on stone. There are two small holes filled with ice on the sides of it, and two more on the ground - there, she puts her hands and feet, respectively.

Immediately, a jolt of energy runs through her arms and legs. As someone with an affinity towards water, this material charged with that elemental chakra feels _nice_. Warm, despite coolness of the ice. It shouldn't be hard to get her own energy through this. And as soon as she sends a small string of chakra through each of her extremities, connecting it to the ice, she can _feel_ the entire structure of the ship around her.

Without seeing it, she can see every small and rudimentary mechanism, sense every last bit of water. And in this moment, she can't help but grin.

 _I've been hit, but not sunk._ _Not yet._


	26. A new Horizon | Arc III: Ricochet

_Because it will be impossible to reach the end of the world, if you keep running._

Sakura blinks heavily and shakes her head, stretching one of her legs. The ship's balance is tilted to that side, but she knows very well that it won't sink. She has become acquainted with every little nuance of the system within vessel, her chakra connected to it for nearly fifty hours. In a way, she could toy around with it just to scare off her companions - it's a very simple, yet effective system. It won't sink unless she blatantly breaks the flow of energy within the ice.

Which makes her wonder how did Tenten manage to _sink_ any of these ships - they seem to be attuned for people with much less control than a standard shinobi.

"I wonder what scared these people off so badly," she mutters, barely stifling a yawn. Used to staying awake for long periods of time, both as a shinobi and a medic, Sakura is confident she can stay awake. This system barely requires external chakra input, so she is in low risk of running out of energy. However, she deemed the method _boring_ within two hours of sailing off; since then, she has been trying to strike up conversation with anyone she can get.

Tenten blinks twice, tearing her gaze away from the mist outside the control room. Silvery fog has been enveloping them since they left Engetsu, and it's eerily quiet out there, except for the occasional sounds of seagulls. Sun and moon have danced around them endlessly, blurring the lines between dawn and twilight. It's hard to tell, because nothing but the sound of waves and the deep blue ocean fill the space around the ship.

"There are legends of great monsters hiding in these waters," the pinkette continues, snickering slightly. "A mizuchi, Bakunawa - who ate six of the seven moons." She can recite the tale by memory, as it seems to be one of the only pieces of mythology exclusive to Engetsu. A slightly passionate tinge colors her words. "A water spirit fell in love with a human girl, but she was killed by her tribe, because of her forbidden relationship…"

"And he entered rage, and killed them all?" completes Tenten, rolling her eyes. She's definitely not one for romantic tales. Sakura, however, shakes her head, a small and sad grin tugging at her lips.

"He took her broken heart, and put it on the sky in the shape of moons," she corrects. Okay, fine, maybe the pinkette is a bit of a sucker for romance - that's not necessarily a bad thing! "The gods were outraged, and ordered him to remove them. He, however, couldn't bring himself to destroy the last remains of his love - instead, he ate them, transforming them into turtle islands. And since then, he roams these waters, guarding the village that took away his beloved, determined to keep them trapped until the end of time, so she can live in peace…"

Sakura ends up sighing, taking a peek through one of the archaic portholes of the ship - everything outside is still veiled by a thick coat of fog. She remembers the first time she visited the Land of Water, years ago, with her genin squad.

"That is why it's always foggy. The ancient tribe was scattered throughout the Land of Water, and he keeps up the mist to confuse sailors, so they won't find his treasure. Whenever there is an eclipse, it is because he is mourning… or a warning to people. The legends don't make too much sense on that regard," she comments, shrugging. Tenten seems interested only by sheer boredom - it's this, or dealing with her teammate, an accidental pyromaniac and a gigantic jerk. Neither option seems to appealing.

The hours roll by in silence after that - Sakura tries to keep her conversations with souls as quiet as possible. It wouldn't do to be seen chatting to herself all the time. None of her companions seem to find it weird if she can spend very long periods of time making faces without sound or reason.

' _Perhaps you should spend a longer time within the walls of your consciousness,_ ' comments Sachi, with a tone that barely sounds like a suggestion. Sakura finds funny that her own Inner voice has adopted a bossy attitude - then again, somehow she is the one coordinating all these spirits, so maybe it's a necessary evil. ' _You'd be surprised of how helpful it would be._ '

 _I don't want to._ That's the plain and simple response, though the reasoning behind it is short of being classified as utter panic. Especially now that she knows that, in one way or another, there is a connection to Sasuke in there. What if she… finds him, somehow?

' _Mind-rape is not a thing yet_ ,' states Sachi, so bluntly that it causes Sakura to wince. ' _You really need to get over that one,_ ' she adds, as nonchalantly as if she was talking about the weather. However, the pungent words of her Inner self always seem to strike up a chord. It's like living with your worst enemy - someone who knows exactly where to hit to provoke a reaction. Without an ounce of malice to her, Sachi is very clear and adamant about the need to get over these fears.

Yet, Sakura's reticence remains - messing with her own internal energies is a delicate task, and even Tsunade-sama acknowledges that she shouldn't push it too far. The equilibrium that keeps her soul and body together could break, if the Ningyo is tampered with beyond its limits.

' _You're not alone,_ ' reminds the voice, shaking her head. ' _Do you know what it's like, to be a spirit trapped within you?_ ' she continues, her tongue sharp. There is something in Sachi's words that feels strange, but it's hard to pinpoint what. ' _You're the last anchor tying these people to life. Every second you live, they live with you. Their hopes, their dreams - they live, through you. And nearly all of them are cheering for you._ _It's a burden that you have to carry, as a payment for being the only one who lived._ '

_But is it a curse, or a blessing?_

* * *

The first island reached is small and cold, but it's the first land they have found in what feels like ages. It has strange, white formations that rise like eroded fangs from the ground. Remains, perhaps, of a time when the small landmass used to be underwater.

Lee runs off as a scout, Tenten gathers wood for a fire camp and Sakura tries to 'park' her ship. Which requires finding a place that isn't too deep and letting it sink - away from Engetsu's docks, it would be impossible for the ship to float on its own. She can't wait to get her hands on something that can actually pass as a vessel.

There is no one in this small patch of land, desolate and silent. There is nothing to make a fire with, so the group merely sits and watches. The pinkette falls asleep as soon as it's clear that the place is safe, after deciding on how to split watch time.

It becomes a routine to find a small island, stop for the night and then continue heading south. None of them have the slightest trace of human activity, and very few of them even spot signs of life. They're all nearly identical as the one they first found. Sakura takes care of planning their route - with a barely functioning compass, navigation charts that are decades old and the maps that have fared best, she is somewhat able to predict that, after a week, they should be reaching civilization.

Nothing changes in the ship's dynamics: Maru tries to keep Misho from blowing everything up, Lee trains day and night, Tenten makes sure none of them end up sinking the ship… and Sakura sits on her stool, quietly guiding their ticket so safety. The mist envelops everything almost constantly, and only the sounds the group makes break the spell of the sea. It's almost peaceful, if not for the fact that once they reach a village, things will only get more complicated.

How far have the news of Sasuke's intentions reached? Could any of these people even recognise the one girl that has caused so much trouble? Will they be hostile if they recognise shinobi from the Alliance? Hell, Sakura knows that Sasuke managed to take control of Konoha - some of these ninja could be waiting for a sign of her.

In the meanwhile, she has learned the art of fading into her own mindscape, while her body still functions. All these endless hours of _nothing_ have finally made her decide that it's worth a shot. Time seems to flow in strange ways when she meditates to access the strange realm within her mind - sometimes, it seems like not a single second has passed; others, hours have passed while she has only spent a few minutes in this state.

"I was thinking, hey, maybe you should wear blue, it would suit you," rambles Ino, with her usual confidence. Sakura merely sits on the grass, listening to her _former_ best friend rant. While the pinkette likes to think that she has a good sense of style, the Yamanaka seems truly devout to making things look _right_. Whether it's her unfortunate teammates or a bouquet of flowers and herbs. "But he just mumbled that it was too troublesome. The nerve!"

Shikamaru. A true tactical genius, who probably perished in the massacre. Sakura tries to avoid talking about that when she meets with Ino or Naruto - it seems like a tactful decision. Instead, she listens to them talk about their former lives, their memories and goals. Sachi said that she carries their will with her, didn't she? This is a way of saying… that it wasn't all for naught.

Sakura has made a promise - to, one by one, listen to each of these souls within her. If she lives long enough… but she isn't planning on dying. That would be giving them up… and giving up on Sasuke.

"Blue suits you nicely, too, even if it's a weird color combination," comments Ino, appreciatively. "Although, you should get a new vest as soon as you can," she adds, sticking out her tongue. Sakura looks down at the imitation of her real-life clothes, from Yugakure. Here, the pinkette makes a point to wear blue clothes - for Ino.

To not give up on anyone - for Naruto. Silently, she wonders if there is any way she can actually pull off saving Sasuke. Maybe in the past it had an effect on him, but now… He might be too far gone.

"Thinking about him?" Ino asks, a knowing smirk on her face, when Sakura spends too long a time in silence. The pinkette winces, her trance broken, and she looks at her friend owlishly. "He's one hell of a guy, Sasuke-kun." _He killed you_. "If you find him, slap him for me, will you? Even sexy guys can be jerks," she grumbles.

Sakura turns away, resting her head on her knees, her legs bent and arms encircling them protectively. Why does no one here seem to care that they died? They act as if it hadn't been a big deal, even though Naruto and Ino have expressed anger towards Sasuke's actions - it's nothing close to the hatred she feels they should be experiencing.

A beat - and a strange thought crosses her mind in a flash.

_I'm thinking like him._

Projecting his own vision of things onto other people - thinking they should feel one thing and unable to see the truth on his own. Not even for himself. And she has been doing that with Naruto, Ino, Tsunade - assuming they would feel hurt if the topic of their deaths was brought up. They seem to have accepted it, yet here she is, tiptoeing around the topic.

"I wonder what he's thinking," she mutters, almost by accident. She blurts it out and immediately shuts her mouth, looking at Ino as if she had just said something blasphemous. Surprisingly, the blonde doesn't seem all that surprised - she looks almost as if she had been waiting for something like this. Sakura sighs, raking her hair and biting her lower lip.

And then, a jolt of energy runs from the back of her head and spreads throughout her entire body - a sensation she can recognise with ease and alarm. A thousand voices raise loudly around her head, drowning out every other sound, higher, _higher_ \- and then, it stops. The blurry world around her comes back to focus in an instant, though now she has fallen on her back and stares at the deep blue sky.

" _Enjoying the day?_ " But the voice doesn't come from the present - it's Naruto's, one of her first memories after the massacre. The blissful instant in which she didn't know, didn't question - the last moment of her life in which she was happy.

Yet it contrasts so vividly with what she just felt - an oppression in her chest, her _soul_ , by the screams and roars of a thousand different voices. All filled with such a vicious hatred, crushing her from everywhere, unrelenting, unforgiving. She has only felt that kind of emotion, projected anywhere near her, in her bouts of insanity.

These aren't her own _thoughts_. Gasping for air, Sakura closes her eyes tightly.

In her mind, however, the image of Sasuke's nightmare remains.

* * *

Tenten has an uncanny ability to notice the slightest details - something that gives her a deadly precision with her throws. Sakura might not be able to tell what is wrong, but she can see the expression of her companion change gravely, out of the blue. The island they rest in today is nothing special - but then, why did the brunette kunoichi just tense up, ready to snap?

It's hard to see in this darkness augmented by the fog, but Lee has also seen his teammate's reaction, eyeing her expectantly. Maru, as well, raps his tail against Sakura's wrist - it's a very swift and apparently normal gesture, but she knows that he has noticed something too. The silence stretches on for an eternity. Misho has caught on to them, and not-too-subtly shifts his gaze between each of the older shinobi.

Sakura feels something pulsate, striking a chord deep within her - her head snaps towards semi-sunken the ship, a frown etching itself on her features. For an instant, it felt like she was in control of the vessel again, able to perceive every sensation through its ice and stone. Though she has no idea where did that come from, she knows the sensation.

Either something very heavy just collided while in the water, or something exploded nearby. Small waves lap up at the stones on the shoreline - and she hadn't thought that they look a bit too jagged to be old. This whole island looks like it was just dropped in the middle of the ocean, like most of the others… Just a chunk of rock big enough to reach the surface. Another deep rumble, one she can feel with her own body this time.

"Someone is throwing fireworks," she mutters, lowly. The sensation that they aren't alone anymore is becoming overwhelming - yet it's impossible to see anything past the fog. She looks at the vessel, exchanging a hard glance with the other Konoha ninja. It's likely that, if large amounts of water are being displaced, there will be a wave - but there is no high ground to run to. "Do either of you have anything that could shield us from a tsunami?" Sakura inquires, planting her palms on the ground, as if to feel better.

Tenten's lips become a very fine line. She exchanges a quick glance with Lee, who nods energetically. The brunette tilts her head to the side, quizzically, and then he shakes his head with a small frown. After the quiet exchange between the two teammates, they both turn back to Sakura.

"A controlled explosion could work, if timed properly," offers Tenten. "How big of a wave are we talking about?"

Sakura knows it's a very wild guess, because she could only feel one pulse, but that is probably the only hint they have. She makes a few mental calculations, putting the best of her analysation skills to use.

"Can you raise a wall with an earth style jutsu? Deflect the wave with a water jutsu?" Sakura shakes her head at every suggestion. Tenten isn't a master of any element, either - her skills are in sealing and weapon usage.

"Even if I could dig us a hole to hide… the terrain underwater is very unstable. One wrong move and we could sink. I don't think this piece of rock has been here for long. It's probably debris from another explosion," she reasons. "There isn't enough stone to create a proper shield, nor am I strong enough to cast one. We can only hope a detonation won't make the island sink."

Just like that, she gets up on her feet and so do her fellow shinobi - she gathers every document she can find. Tenten assures her that she can create somewhat faulty seals easily. Even if they don't go off by command, the explosion of a proper seal should be enough to detonate them. Which is good, because there aren't enough of them left.

In the meanwhile, the pinkette raises the ship again - Lee seems to have gotten accustomed enough to his new condition to move around easily, and at her command he redistributes the few crates of food within the vessel. Closer to the exit… and ready to unseal most of their contents if needed be.

"Don't worry," Sakura whispers towards Misho, who seems to be unsure of what to do. Maru merely sits nearby, on watch duty. "We've handled worse." _Most of us are crippled because of it, too, but I won't let you die_.

Once in control of the ship, Sakura can acutely feel the water surrounding her - and the pulses of energy that seem to be pushing it against the island. Something is releasing a large release of chakra, somewhere in this ocean - and these agitated, charged particles are taking a very worrisome pattern of movement. It almost feels like a jutsu of some sort. It's not _natural_ at all.

"Ah, there must be a very powerful creature thrashing around," mutters Maru, giving her a pointed look. _He knows_ \- but he will never tell, will he? Not even in a life-threatening situation. He hasn't moved a single one of his tiny fingers to actually help, or indicate that he knows something that could save them. Yet, he is still one step ahead.

"I don't know what's going on, but I want to stay away from it," she states, because the rat seems very willing to suggest things that cause trouble. He snickers, balancing himself atop his staff.

"I'm not letting you die until you get me my geodes, Pinky," he comments, wagging his tail without a care. It should be throwing off his balance, especially on a _ship_ , but it doesn't. "Ah, I'm sure you can figure it out if you think a bit." Sakura narrows her eyes, but he won't tell anything - not even under threats. She knows too well.

' _What do I know of massive water jutsu that could be causing this to happen?_ ' She sits on her stool, musing, as she moves the ship to the other side of the island. It should be ready and guarded, when the explosion goes off. She informed Tenten that whatever wave hits, it will be _big_.

She knows chakra users that, in the past, were capable of causing great havoc through the use of water jutsu, but they were very few and chances are that they died. She would think this is a new person, probably a threat, but Maru's tone suggests that she should know the cause of this incoming disaster.

A natural explosion? An underwater event, involving the submerged masses of land, many meters below her feet? No - it's laced with chakra, she knows. It feels like ripples, as if something huge was splashing in the water, miles away from them, unleashing large amounts of energy and causing gigantic ripples. It's not a natural disaster… _Wait._

"Maru." She forces herself to speak, in order to avoid gawking with her mouth wide open. _It can't be_. The rat doesn't reply, but Sakura forces herself to regain composure and focuses on the sensations she can feel through the ice. The pulses of energy are much clearer now - and like she guessed, they're getting stronger. _Closer_.

Her whole body feels numb with something akin to fear, her mind filled with a barrage of memories, set loose by her brief instant of panic. _Focus!_ She can't lose her head now… and with her heart beating so quickly it hurts, and the Ningyo tightening warningly around her, Sakura finally understands what the rat meant.

"Tenten!" she calls out, feeling slightly choked. The brunette rushes into the room a bit too fast, as if she had been expecting to find an attacker inside. When their eyes meet, her worry shifts in cause and intensity - she can probably see that the pinkette is barely holding herself together. The ice encased within stone makes a strange cracking sound, as if it was about to break.

The mist from before is threatening to swallow everything, now filled with voices, images of another time… But she has to at least say these words, before she sinks in a silence filled with nightmares and hatred.

"We're not deflecting a wave. There is a Bijū coming."

 _Something's not right_. She can tell that much by the way her thoughts are thrown off-balance by each wave. It's more than fear… She knows the effect that a Tailed Beast's wrath can have on a person, the killing intent magnified by such an immense, raw power… With each pulse, there is a greater strength behind the strange sensation that fills her mind and heart. Her surroundings become blurrier, mist closing in, choking and vile. On her side, Tenten barely takes half a second to nod diligently, though she seems unsure on how to proceed.

"...Don't touch the water. This creature is projecting a genjutsu through it," Sakura instructs. And she can feel it with an intensity that is almost unmatched by anything else. _That... thing is coming for us..._

The codewords for an encounter with a Tailed Beast include 'running like hell in the opposite direction' - but there is nowhere to go to. This Bijū has, for some reason, noticed them. And it just had to be in such an unfortunate moment. Sakura tries to remember anything that could save them from getting attacked by the beast's wrath, but she is no Jinchūriki like Naruto, to be able to connect with a being like this one.

Why now, why them? She doesn't even know how many tails could this creature have! There has to be something she can do... She can't just wait here and let herself and her friends die! What can Sakura remember about the nine Beasts? There wasn't that much information about them, and even the things she could see weren't enough to be certain now.

Suddenly, she's falling, deeper into water that closes around her - the pressure growing, light fading away… She wants to swim, but she can't. It's too heavy, an iron grasp holding her limbs in place. Then, there is a presence next to her, a familiar one, but the pressing need for air has wiped away every rational thought. One hard shove from behind, and a hand closes around hers, pushing up, towards the surface.

These eyes are bluer than the sky itself, staring back into hers with reassuring confidence. The hand closed around hers releases its grip, and he steps back, fading into the crowd around her. Where did all these people come from? The ship wasn't so crowded before. A wave has crashed against the vessel, filling the control room with water and causing the crates to float - however, Lee and Misho are still holding them in place as best as they can.

Blinking with a blank expression, Sakura takes a moment to organise her thoughts - everything around her is blurry. And these figures standing around her, grey and faded, stare down at her with harsh eyes - yet they won't attack. Their faces are blurry, and no one else seems to be able to see them.

"Interesting, ah." Maru's voice cuts through the silence like a knife, and she looks at him, all these gazes still trained on her. Time has become hard to process - but there is a pressing urge, coming upon her. "You can wait here or go, ah," he adds, merely turning back to stare outside of the porthole. Something in the small rat feels off, but she has no time to process what it is.

Tenten is gone. Sakura stands up, a functioning part of her mind saying that it is safe for her to do so - in a flash, Maru is gone from the porthole. But she has no time to turn around and check the stool. The waves are finally rising, a warning of the looming threat that hangs over their heads.

A blast of energy runs through the mist and water - Tenten is holding her own head, standing next to a series of explosive tags connected by wire, floating near the shoreline. So she was affected by the pulses of chakra, after all. One tentative step later, Sakura sets her foot on top of the surface of the water, and then she bends down to pick up the metal wire.

Timing her steps with waves that she can barely see coming would be difficult, but she can still _feel_ them. Spending too much time on that damned stool has strengthened her sensitivity - only enough to predict them, but her reaction time is still severely skewed. The figures are all around her, familiar and not so much, eyes shining bright red...

Sakura brings her hands together to form the snake hand seal - the explosives go off in a chain reaction. It will surely damage the ship, which has been left behind… but she feels, she _knows_ she shouldn't worry. Why, she can't delve into, as her delicate balance break and she falls into the water, launched forwards by the blast.

' _Why do you keep blowing yourself up?_ ' mutters her sarcastic inner voice.

A big yellow eye stares back at her from the dark depths of the ocean. Too close. But she isn't surprised - not this time.

 _Isobu_ … A large amount of energy fills the water around her, random flashes signaling the creation of spheres of coral. They are created and quickly fall into the black abyss below, with no coordination behind them. For a time too long, she stares back at the blurry, golden eye, glowing underneath her.

_Naruto sent me to save you._


	27. Hidden in Delusion | Arc III: Ricochet

_As much as they are rotten to the core, even the worst of humans can act like the best._

Who would have thought that Hanabi Hyūga is such a handful. It shouldn't have come off as a surprise - he _did_ murder her older sister. (Did he? Probably). Well-mannered and quiet, she is currently cloaking a bigger secret - someone, somewhere, has told her to spy on the Hokage. And small, seemingly fragile Hanabi (which must be a façade - she has to know her clan's fighting style, she is the daughter of the clan head. At the very least, she has to be able to put up a struggle) is _conspiring_ against him.

"The nerve!" chirps Sakura's doppelgänger, following his thoughts perfectly. It's almost a given that she, too, is a fantom spawned from his own energy and emotions - but she won't go away. No seal or jutsu will make her disappear (as if on cue, she laughs at him). And she bounces up and down around him, as he makes his way to a meeting with the surrogate Kazekage. Somehow, Wind has been the first country to get their stuff together and reorganise themselves.

They are still an old glory that has no hope in becoming a threat, but it's important to make the rules clear: no war, no conflict, shall be allowed to ever happen again. By whatever means necessary. And as long as this is understood by the daimyō and future leaders, Sasuke is fine with letting them rule. He might not be omnipresent (he can't take all these positions, can he?), but no one is stronger than he is - and fear is a powerful weapon on its own. As long as he can keep everything and everyone under control, the method doesn't matter.

And he does know - behind his back, many are plotting rebellions and coups, anything to resist the inevitable. Such is the spirit of humans that have been bred and born to fight, until death and beyond if necessary. Even Hanabi is onto him (though he is certain that she has no clue that he knows). She is, however, a king in a chess board - not a true threat on her own, yet an icon, a symbol of hope and resistance. Keeping her close is much better than getting rid of her.

"Making this world a better place by killing children, such a great ruler you are!" spits the clone, always ready to jab at him at the slightest thing. No, not all of them - mostly, the ones he _needs_ to do in order to maintain the achievement of his victory. She truly mocks every single one of his motivations.

"Sacrifices are necessary," he replies, once he is certain there is no one nearby. Fine, maybe the clone is getting to him - but she is always there. Awake, asleep; whatever his dreams or actions are, she is ready to _attack_. At first he thought most of her jabs were useless, but now he knows better. She is wearing him down, trying to break him by playing the long game - she has the time.

"Is that why you failed at killing me~?" And she grins innocently, a smile that doesn't reach her devious eyes. Even trying to reason, fighting back, only ends with harder hits thrown his way. The existence of this creature can only be explained through will materialisation shenanigans, but the mentions of similar cases are few and far in between. The only similarity can be attributed to violent, sudden deaths of people with a very strong will (but Sakura isn't dead - he knows).

It makes as much sense as her question - _why_ didn't he indeed? There have been very hazy reasons (she wasn't important; she was going to die anyways - ' _it would be no fun_ ', quotes the doppelgänger, sharply catching on to his thoughts), but no clear answer. As much as he is reluctant to admit it could happen… the first time he was weakened by lack of chakra and blood loss, so he wasn't thinking straight. No, the slightly blurred memories he has of what he did confirm he was out of his mind.

The other times? More of the same, surely. If his mind is twisted enough, so out of control, that it can materialise things like this copy of Sakura and several other phantoms - then maybe it has clouded his judgement before. Confidence breaks down into something that, deep down, might even resemble fear. The notion that (after all his prowess, power and achievements) - he's defenseless in his own mind. That he has _no control_ over it. Superiority turns into fear of irreparable inferiority.

"That's right, I win," she declares, purring. And he knows that, at this rate, she has. While he is certain he won't let himself get beaten (especially by something that doesn't even _exist_ ), it is the closest thing to worry that he has felt in a long time. How does one beat a thing that can't be hit or sealed? It's a new challenge, one he never thought he would face - and the time is ticking. He can ignore almost every other phantom, most of the time - but not her. She will keep going until he breaks down.

"You can't defeat me, illusion." And he remembers all the obstacles overcome - eventually, he is bound to find a solution. He knows - and he will _not_ let himself be defeated. However, as if she was many steps ahead, the clone merely nods and rolls her eyes. As if she expected this response, and thought it's vain.

"There is more truth in my existence, than there is to any of the things you tell yourself every day, Sasuke-kun. You're just so _slow_." But all that stops, when what distinctly feels like the slap of a wave hits him from nowhere. He looks around, on-guard and alert, but there is nothing new and no one. And then it happens again - it leaves him breathless, a strong tingling sensation in every inch of his body.

It's overwhelming, distinctly _watery_ , and it doesn't even feel like he is experiencing it directly. He stares at the clone for a few lengthy seconds, understanding.

* * *

 _Now is not the time…!_ Sakura struggles to breathe, her heart beating frantically under the sound of her ragged gasps. Isobu, mighty Tailed Beast, stays at a decent distance from the surface of the water - yet she can still hear the Bijū's voice, as clearly as if it were anywhere else. A flash of hot pain surges in her chest, knocking whatever little air she had out of her, and causing her to sink.

There are glimpses of a very different scene in her mind - a building she knows well, located in the faraway Konoha. This wasn't the best moment for Sasuke to start probing into her side of the connection - though she's certain he felt the disturbance caused by Isobu, she is definitely going to _drown_ if it doesn't stop soon. She can't coordinate anything well enough to even _swim_.

Her own limbs won't respond, spasming with an overload of energy that doesn't feel like it's hers. _That is too much!_ Is he trying to kill her? No, there is none of that intent - but he's clearly not aware that she's dying. Does he want to see Isobu for himself, locate her…? _It'll be no good if I'm dead, dammit!_ She was supposed to _save_ the Three Tails, not die in front of it!

' _I can't… breathe!_ ' Like in her illusion, the world is fading away, her hand unable to reach out and break into the surface. Not like this, she can't die like this! ' _Hell NO!_ '

* * *

"GET. _OUT!_ " As if he had just been punched somewhere he can't even locate, Sasuke is pushed back much more fiercely than he believed possible. These words echo in his mind for a moment, his stance faltering for a brief instant. He _saw_ , for the most brief of moments - a big yellow eye, staring back at him (her) from the depths of the ocean. But he couldn't breathe, couldn't move, as the body wasn't even his to control.

A commanding voice he knows very well, though laced with more anger and impetus than hatred - he was pushed out, and everything faded away as if it had never been there, as if it never happened. He blinks, momentarily blinded, as his surroundings come back to full focus. Beside him, the clone is merely staring, unblinking (but it's like she is looking straight through him). For once, she seems speechless.

A small smile creeps up to her lips. Then they tremble, and her snickers turn into a cackle filled with insanity.

"Seriously?" she laughs - he has grown used to random bursts from her, for no apparent reason most of the time. "Did you think you could just waltz into her mind like that?" The answer is a rotund _yes_ \- because she is weak and there are no barriers between them. But she kicked him out, as easily as if he had been a weak kid for Sakura to push over.

And then he recalls, how she had a secondary personality hidden behind a mask - one that even a Yamanaka (although not the strongest one) couldn't beat. Perhaps, a voice not unlike the one he hears every day and night… as if trapped within him. One he can't make disappear, no matter how hard he tries - the _same_ thing. The clone that, according to her own word, has kept Sakura from pushing over his own boundaries.

Does that mean that there is a little part of her, trapped in him? At this, the doppelgänger doubles over, almost crying out of sheer laughter.

* * *

"There _has_ to be something we can do," Sakura grumbles, water dripping from her hair and clothes, her body slumped over near the shoreline. Her hands are still inside the water. Around her, her mostly confused companions await. They can tell that the danger is over.

' _It is too late. I was certain I would find someone else...'_ thunders a voice in her head. There is a slight hint of confusion in that voice - Sakura knows that, had it not been for her, the Bijū would not be so close to being civil. The frenzied state she perceived through the water - frantic, almost _panicked_ , was from Isobu. With a good reason, true, but if not for Naruto's remains of chakra…

"No way in hell!" she growls. Perhaps the wild energy she can feel through her is affecting her own behavior - maybe she should worry. But she can only think, with a fierce determination, that she will try anything it takes to prevent the Three-Tails from disappearing.

She is a medic, but how to actually keep a Bijū from vanishing is a thing she doesn't know. The reason the energy of Isobu is leaking and out of control, is that his own chakra system has been _pierced_. Torn apart beyond the quick repair that, in any other circumstance, it would have been able to heal. The myths of a giant sea serpent might be true after all - Isobu recounts an encounter with a creature like that.

' _How would you be able to save me?_ ' There isn't any fear in the question, as it's merely a statement - one that doesn't have a hopeful answer. Without good chakra reserves, cut from most of her skills, Sakura knows it's almost impossible that she can do _anything_ at all. Isobu's chakra is merely dissipating in the water at an alarming rate, she can still feel through it and see what places have been broken.

Yet, that doesn't mean she can fix it. Besides, this is a creature made of pure energy - a force of nature in the shape of a mighty beast. Most of the rules of life that she knows don't apply to here.

"Maru, can you do anything?" she turns around to face the small rat, who seems oddly distraught, absent. He is the only one who can manipulate natural chakra, which might be powerful enough in this situation, and though he has stated many times that he won't do anything unless it's absolutely necessary, this feels like one of these days.

"No." There isn't any humor to his voice. Now _that_ is weird. He doesn't say anything else, merely staring ahead. Sakura feels a surge of anger through her - all of his berating and when it's needed, he can't do anything? _Careful_. _You're slipping._ The quiet voice of her inner self sounds like a distant whisper, but can still be heard and its advice heeded.

"I can," Tenten snaps, suddenly. Sakura looks at her with a newfound interest, comprehending - the brunette _is_ a fūinjutsu specialist, but how far do her skills go? Not many people could seal a whole Tailed Beast. Even if she could, without Isobu's compliance they would be in a very dangerous position.

"Get in the water," Sakura indicates. Tenten gives her a slightly puzzled glance. "It's much easier to feel you that way," she explains, almost quoting word by word. Isobu seems to be cautious - with a _very_ good reason. Tenten's brow scrunches up in concentration for a moment, her feet dipping into the cold water.

' _Do you intend to seal me?_ ' There is a slight nuance to the words - remotely similar to amusement. The Three-Tails seems to remember how well that went the last time. Does Isobu recognise Sakura as one of the people who attempted said sealing, or is her chakra too fuzzy?

"I do." The pinkette's head snaps towards Tenten, who seems to be as confident as ever. As if she hadn't just told a Bijū that she is going to try to seal it. The other kunoichi produces a scroll from inside her shirt, that she successfully managed to conceal and hide perfectly. Sakura hasn't even seen this scroll, and by the look of things, neither has Lee. The drawings on the paper, however, she can recognise.

Are those… Sacred Treasures?

"Remember Darui-san?" Tenten comments, unsealing one of the items. "He's still alive. He was the one who promised they would come back for us, and showed me how to use this," she adds, a fiery glint on her eyes. It's hard to tell if it's because she still believes in him, or is suffering anger over betrayal. "Isobu, this treasure has been used to seal Bijū before. It will seal your soul in a set time and space, preventing your disappearance."

Hesitation - who would trust the humans that enslaved them for a very long time, always giving only scorn and fear as a greeting? Yet there is also a distinct hint of desperation. Sakura knows that Tailed Beasts should be unable to truly _die_ , so why is Isobu almost afraid? There is something going on beyond her understanding, but now is not the moment to ask. Time is running out for all of them.

It's all or nothing, she realises, biting her lower lip. Everything is eerily quiet, except for the sound of waves. She takes a glance at Maru, who looks back at her, as if he understood even better than she does. His eyes, however, seem to be slightly glassed over. _Something is really wrong with him_. In this moment, she understands that there _is_ one thing she can do. She throws a nervous glance at her companions - _they will know_.

But it's the only option.

"Isobu!" It's a better name than _Three-Tails_ or _monster_ , isn't it? She can feel a shift in the attention of the Bijū, the sensation that something huge and almighty is looking straight at her. It makes her shiver slightly. "I know you can't trust any of us. It would be foolish of you to do so. But you were right when you perceived the chakra of Naruto." The _silence_ is deafening, her heart racing in her chest wildly. It reminds her of a day so far away, in the middle of a battlefield...

The secret she wanted to protect at all costs - her blessing and damnation… is about to come out. And she can't even think of the consequences right now. Something- _someone_ needs her. Even if it's Isobu, who thought there was a possibility of avoiding death by coming here - _someone_ is counting on her. She can't just give up and let them die.

"I am a vessel for those who died in the war. The remains of their souls, that should've been stuck as ghosts or vanished to afterlife, are stored within me," she explains, forcing herself not to falter. And avoid looking at any of the other people, instead focusing on the bright yellow eye that shines under the dark water. "I can't say I'm him - but I can say it's as if Naruto was alive within me."

A low rumble and a wave - she doesn't dare move, kneeling by the water and with her whole forearms submerged. It's almost a bow, but even with her submissive position, her eyes are shining with determination. When one gigantic limbs of the Three-Tail rises, it creates a wave that swipes her off the shoreline and into the blue depths again. There are gasps at her back, but her own fear is sealed away into a place where it won't make her panic.

Here, she can _feel_ the imposing, overwhelming chakra that seeps through Isobu's shell - when did she become able to perceive these things so clearly? And if she can feel it this much, she is sure the Three-Tails can do it too. There is a brutal prodding with what has to be too much chakra, though that might be simply that her pathways are almost fully obstructed. It _hurts_ and it feels like she will merely burst into pieces.

' _Stop! Let me… show you_.' Channeling whatever little energy she has, she focuses on the image of Naruto, the one that she can still perceive deeply within her mind. But never before has she willingly tried to project it _outside_ of herself - it always happened because of an outburst, or because she had been kicked out of her own body.

But there it is - as bright and warm as the sun, chakra that feels altogether too familiar, as painful as it is comforting. It is a minimal amount, that would never pass as the entirety of the real one, yet there is no doubt about whom it belongs to. Push it _out_ , focus on the shape it should have if it were still alive and within a body.

A distant voice calls for her, but she is far too exhausted, centering all of her thoughts and will into the replica of Naruto. It's as if the Ningyo itself was tense around her, yet not closing… all of her practice gives her the accuracy necessary, even if it takes a very long time. She's running out of breath.

' _He was… is my… friend._ ' Even her own thoughts are hazy, blurred out by the lack of oxygen and chakra. ' _He put his trust in… me. And that means you can… trust me too!_ '

Something bursts within her, knocking the air out of her lungs as she attempts to gasp for air, and through her hazy vision she sees blue eyes, before it fades to black.

* * *

And these bright eyes are still there, altogether too close to her own face, when she is conscious of her own thoughts again. For an instant she wonders if she died - if her little trick even worked. There is no trace of the overwhelming chakra she felt around herself, and it's not cold and wet anymore. The meadow she knows starts surging from the darkness around her, slowly, as if it took effort to break through. And Naruto is squatting in front of her, looking extremely proud.

"That was great," he cheers, grinning. Sakura blinks a few times, and pushes him back with a foot. He falls back on his rear, seemingly saddened by her gesture. She does need breathing room, though, her chest feeling extremely constricted. Her whole body hurts. "Take it easy, you almost killed yourself again,"Naruto adds, though it doesn't seem like too much of a bad thing in his eyes.

"What happened to Isobu and the rest?" she asks, tilting her head to the side curiously. There is a semi-hidden note of worry in her voice.

"He bought it, and is now sealed in Tenten's pot." Sakura feels a pressing need to laugh at the choice of words - Naruto is the descendant of the Sage of the Six Paths, yet he still calls one of the Sacred Treasures a _pot_. He never changes, does he? However, she merely nods, feeling drained and sore in almost every muscle she can think of. "The others are okay. Scared, because you've been out of it for about a day, but they'll recover. And you will, too," he adds, convinced of it. It's hard _not_ to believe him.

And time passes - the shapes around her shift from darkness to life. There is Sachi, who scolds her for nearly getting herself killed _again_ ; Ino, who is definitely relieved under all of her confident demeanor; Tsunade-sama, who congratulates her on nearly perfect chakra manipulation.

But it doesn't stop there. Sakura is brought to joy and sadness, smiles and tears, as many more different figures make their first appearance. There are too many friendly faces, too many people who shouldn't have died. yet it feels strangely relieving to know they're _there_.

"By revealing your secret, accepting my death and showing my remains to Isobu… you broke a little bit of the seal," Naruto explains. The sensation of something… _bursting_ open, somewhere she couldn't locate within her - she can remember that. Dumbfounded, she stares at him, and the fox boy merely scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "That seal is built on lies, Sakura-chan. You broke part of it with something as pure as the truth. Countering hatred with love."

And in a twisted, yet not painful way, it makes a whole lot of sense. All this time, her soul has been clouded by nightmares and illusions, hopes and phantoms - maybe, the belief that it could all be ignored and pushed away. Rejection did more bad than it did good, and trying to hide it was no better. Acceptance, at last - it feels good.

"Does that mean I will die?" she wonders aloud, frowning only slightly. The Ningyo still keeps her soul in one piece, and if it's gone…

"It's not fully gone," interjects Tsunade. "The mechanisms behind it go much deeper than that. But you have rid yourself of a big weight today, Sakura. Your sacrifice wasn't in vain." Sakura looks at her with strange eyes, because if someone's sacrifice was for naught… it was from all these people who are standing around her, dead.

All they fought for, all they tried to achieve - the only remains of their will and spirit resides within her.

"I promise yours won't be in vain, either!" she speaks out loud, shakily pushing herself to her feet. All these eyes focused on her, from people she might not even know, but what ties them together is how - _why_ they died. A cause she is determined to carry on with, as it became hers the moment she was the last one standing. And because… it's also her own. She looks around, taking deep breaths - she can't be looking very strong or imposing right now. "I promise I will bear this burden, and…" _Defeat Sasuke. Kill him._ _Don't falter!_ "Make the world a peaceful place!"

A slowly building uproar rises around her, loud words of encouragement and _fire_ , and at some point she is tackled and passed around from one crushing hug to the next. Familiar voices all around her, almost as if she had just come home from a world-saving mission. In truth, none of them are alive, but the reminder that she failed in her last attempt - and she has only started to pick up her pieces and walk the way… but it doesn't matter.

Right now, all that matters to her is that she's not alone - and if there is this much hope in her, surrender and defeat will never be options. _I can do this. Until I win or die, I won't give up._

* * *

At first, it's dark, but then the distant voices start to increase their volume and amount, and at this point they become clearly recognisable. Frozen for an instant, he listens to Naruto and Sakura chatter lively. _Is this a dream_? It has to be. The forest comes to life around him, almost as if he was still in Konoha.

He was… what was he doing before this happened? He can't recall going to sleep - only that he was sitting at his desk, and suddenly everything went dark. His illusions are normally different from this - not once do they look even remotely peaceful. So then, what is this place?

There is a meadow nearby, where the voices comes from - so he conceals himself near the treeline, eyes trying to discern every detail in the landscape. It takes an awfully long time for it to be clear, and when that happens he appreciates that it seems to be a sunny summer day. The outline of Konoha - the _old_ Konoha is drawn against the Hokage Mountain. These stone eyes look down at the village, watching, guarding… even though in reality, he is sure he destroyed them.

There are hundreds of shinobi in the meadow, standing still and looking away from him. Not a single one of them seems to see him, but he still remains cautious. Something is off about this place - it can't be real, but it feels alive.

"I promise yours won't be in vain either!" His ears perk up at the sound of _Sakura's_ voice, and he can barely locate a mop of wild pink hair amid the many figures congregated in the meadow. From his slightly more elevated position, he can see her, standing unsteadily yet radiating an aura of determination. It barely feels like her own, though somehow he knows it is. "I promise I will bear this burden, and…" The slightest bit of her old self slips into her stance and words, but she corrects herself almost immediately. "Make the world a better place!"

There are bells ringing in the distance, black feathers and leaves carried by the gentle breeze, and a strange emotion tugging at his heart. He feels like he is intruding something important, as everyone in the meadow cheers for her loudly, but at the same time he doesn't feel like a complete stranger to it.

Is this her mindscape? He could feel the wild oscillations in her chakra, before everything went dark - repressed, then free, then bright and warm as if it had been Naruto's very own. Escaping her body, too - she was dying. This time, it was him who felt the need, the impulse to reach out and see what was going on. But he wasn't kicked out, and instead he ended up in the darkness before this.

Then, that means this is the _real_ Sakura - although there are two of them, a gut feeling tells him one isn't real, only another manifestation in this realm. He just _knows_ \- her voice isn't as loud, her smile isn't as bright, and her aura isn't so lively. He can see it all with these blessed eyes of his, he can hear the words - but he can't understand.

His eyes trail over to her, the center of this ruckus, but she doesn't seem to notice. After a few seconds, however, a taller figure approaches her - one that Sasuke knows very well. The urge to call out is almost irresistible. In this place so overcharged with many different chakra signatures, one that _reeks_ of _hers_ , he hadn't noticed Itachi.

Not until he makes his way towards her, whispering something he can't hear, and the multitude goes quiet. Itachi looks up briefly, his eyes definitely on his own, just for an instant. And then so does Sakura, though her gaze lingers for what feels like an eternity.

Never before had they _met_ , after the aftermath, without both of them being severely impaired and drowned in insanity. He tenses, aware that this is hostile territory and he will, at the very least, be kicked out forcefully. But it's not a genjutsu, not an illusion he can escape - he feels trapped.

He wouldn't be afraid in any other circumstance - he wiped out these people off the planet before, and he could do it again. But this isn't reality, even if it seems to _exist._ He is at a distinct disadvantage. As if to warn him, his surroundings start going dark, and then brighten up with the light of fire and lightning. The forest burns, the whisper of the leaves replaced by screams of agony. Sasuke can't tear his eyes off of her, the overwhelming maremagnum of chaos around him, replicating itself within him.

A thought comes to mind, as the crowd parts to let her walk towards him - he can feel it just as much as he can feel the sensations wreaking havoc in his soul. She's almost there, but he's frozen. Is it her, keeping him in place? It wouldn't surprise him. Yet she doesn't fall into any his genjutsu, looking straight at him with an undecipherable emotion shining in her eyes.

"You know, the people we hate the most are those that remind us of ourselves," she says aloud, not a hint of fear in her voice. Even if she is scared of him (a fact he has essentially confirmed by now), she seems to know he can't harm her here. She's in control. And she smiles, a gesture that feels sickening on those lips. _You shouldn't look at me like that. You should hate me._

In a flash, her eyes cloud over for an instant - it's not, surprisingly, like she is going to cry. But more like a darker, deeper understanding. As if she could comprehend his thoughts, which she will never be able to. It almost irks him, but she just shakes her head. He wants to react, break free, _do something_ \- but his own emotions and thoughts seem to be frozen in this time and instant.

"But I think those are the ones that deserve most care. You can't be understanding of how they think and feel, and not do anything." _That's not right._ "You can choose to care with hatred, but today I choose to care with love. I don't believe you, but I believe in you. "Her smile is distinctly sad, memories surely passing through her mind at the speed of light. "I will show you that I'm right, and you're wrong in your lies. I'll show you."

She extends a hand towards him, devoid of weapons, even though she doesn't need one to fight. Her smile widens, and her fingers tap his forehead briefly, sending a jolt of energy throughout the entirety of his body. Sasuke falls.

With a gasp, his eyes open - still in his office, in Konoha.

In his skin remains the ghostly touch of the girl that still loves him, her smile burnt into his eyes. Everything is quiet.


	28. Into the Sky | Arc III: Ricochet

_So many dreams of love and hope, that no storm could ever wash away._

Dance. The steps don't have to be blindingly quick, but precise and smooth - it is not about raw skill and speed, but timing and accuracy. As if following the movements of a song, it does not matter how fast she is. The important thing is to know the _when_ and _what_ to do. One misstep, and the cadency will be broken.

A tear of sweat drips down Sakura's forehead. Every action feels strained, nearly painful and choking, but she knows it's just barely away enough from being impossible, that she can do it. The pinkette knows there are limits she will not be able to bypass by willpower or skill alone - just like the path to be a Hokage is made with hard work, not merely prodigal abilities. However, those barriers must be pushed in order to advance. It feels like walking through a swamp; slowly but steadily, she advances.

Her arms weave in the air, mimicking the rise and fall of the ocean's tides. With the movement, the water follows, pulled by her chakra. She cannot concentrate chakra through seals anymore - the amount she needs to use would case the Ningyo to strangle the life out of her. It's truly ironic that she, the one whose heart is often conflicted and in pain, has to keep a perfect balance in and out. She can't falter, can't hesitate a single instant, can't make a single mistake.

But then again, she is Sakura Haruno - and when she gets a score, she wants it to be the best she can manage. The water is under her control now. Gritting her teeth, she changes the movement of her arms, drawing a circle, making the energy start swirling. There is a resistance to the change, as if she was being pushed by a water current - the more energy she uses, the harder it is to change the course.

" _Water Release: Tornado of Water!_ " She lets go, giving her creation one last push to launch it towards her target. Normally, this would be the point at which the jutsu is let out of control - but that is not something she can afford. She charges right behind her jutsu, pulling the strings that move it with her fingers. She flies over the grass, a blur of pink and blue, weaving between the kunai thrown at her.

' _Becoming a control freak, huh? How the mighty have fallen_.' But she needs that absolute perfection. The water around her reverberates with sound, _movement_ \- she can sense the weapons long before they near her. Dodging them, however, is still fully dependent on her speed and reaction time. One of them grazes her cheek, but she doesn't flinch. Shinobi stand perched on a thin line between life and death, and a little pain is nothing bad.

Hiding behind her own jutsu gives her a distinctly defensive advantage - none of the kunai can penetrate it. She is, however, visually blind to whatever is behind. When a force much greater than what she can handle impacts on the vortex of water, the flow _breaks_ and her shield falls. She crouches just in time to avoid having her nose kicked in. Damn it! She got distracted again, and barely heard Lee's shout for his attack.

Pulling back the water, now without a course to give it shape, she shields her head and pushes away her attacker. Lee slides off and crashes into the ground - her water doesn't provide any sort of firm support. Since her chakra controls it, she could force him to lose balance even if he tried to stand on it. Another push and he's sent careering back through the grass - he already said that abusing of his weak points is the only way to learn to overcome them, so she doesn't feel _that_ bad about it.

There isn't enough time to build up another Tornado, so Sakura focuses on making the water form a spherical shield around her. The kunai aren't fast enough to get through it with deadly speed, but a couple of them still stab her legs and abdomen lightly, leaving bleeding dents on her skin. A bit more and she'll have to worry about it for real.

' _This is just so different from my usual fighting style,_ ' she grumbles, intercepting a kunai aimed at her head with her hand, throwing it back onto the water and using the flow to eject it even faster than it came in. And it's true - most of the time, she would like to be ninety-nine percent on the offensive. As of now, she spends more than half of her training defending herself. And she can't stand here forever - sooner or later, tiredness will make her shield break.

A deafening roar nearly startles her enough to make it drop control. _From behind!_ She smirks this time, knowing this is probably the last thing she will be able to do before the flow breaks. She is sweating profusely and her whole body aches and burns - even the marks on her skin seem thicker, darker somehow… She focuses her attention and water on the intrusive foot that is attempting to kick her back, driving the water from the front to the back, encasing his foot and holding tightly.

" _Gotcha!_ " she hollers, victorious. With all her water concentrated and the shield gone, she will have only a second or two, both to use the combined forces of momentum and act in the timespan of Tenten's surprise before she resumes attacking - Sakura hurls Lee forward with all of her might, the water following the arc her arms trace. Her body leans forward. She is aiming to maximise the force of the throw. Her eyes set on Tenten, who is just about to throw a kunai - their eyes meet for an instant, a devious glint in the pinkette's.

And then, she releases, and Lee flies forwards at high speed towards Tenten. The brief moment of surprise is enough to make him crash into her. With the last of her strength, Sakura rushes forward, dragging the water behind her, and envelops their tangled mess of limbs with it. The water dome collapses an instant later, and she falls to her knees, wheezing.

In a real fight, Tenten wouldn't have been stuck standing there, but Sakura knows that she is still good at amassing a large amount of energy and then releasing it in the last second - just like she did with her throw. It was legitimately too fast for it to be dodged, even if not as devastating as one of her old punches.

"That's your first tie," comments their referee, Shibuki of Takigakure, checking in just to make sure not too many bones have been broken. Sakura squeezes the water out of her clothes, pushing a few strands of hair out of her face, and huffs, getting to her feet as fast as she can manage.

"It broke too easily," she grumbles, offering a hand to Tenten. Lee has already gotten up and ran off for a cooldown lap. The brunette gets up with a slight wince - her wrist bent the wrong way with the unexpected collision, as she had to get her kunai out of the way to avoid impaling her teammate.

"You're too hard on yourself, Sakura." Shibuki shakes his head. "You have only seen me use the jutsu once, and never practiced it before." _He's right_. A little nagging voice sing-songs in her head, just barely short of being a mockery - just like she is of being called a prodigy. A true genius of chakra control would have been able to hold on.

There is a small crowd of bystanders that has been watching the spectacle. Sakura narrows her eyes slightly, and then fights to suppress a shiver. Spring has started to warm up the weather, but it's still early enough that a snowstorm could happen any day. Most islands of Water have a very cold climate, that makes them prone to fog and unyielding rain. She is so drained that holding up any sort of chakra protection is out of the question.

Tenten solves the problem by unsealing a thick blanket and throwing it towards her. Grateful, she drapes it around her shoulders and rubs her nose. The brunette has taken an habit of being quieter - mostly because her vocal cords have suffered permanent damage. Sakura can still remember the day Tenten's screams caused it to happen. What kind of dream caused her to snap that way, that one fateful night, she refuses to tell.

"Wanna go to the hot springs?" she rasps. The brunette seems to consider the suggestion for a second, looking at her kunai and quietly assessing if they need to be sharpened. The scene reminds her of her own fixation for perfection, a few years ago, when she started her training - and the person that snapped her out of it. The idea forms in her mind before she can stop herself from doing it.

Sakura rolls her eyes and pokes the edge of one of the blades with a finger - it cuts cleanly through her skin, causing her to bleed. She licks off the blood as nonchalantly as possible, and then raises her eyebrows. Tenten gives out a small sigh, with the tiny start of a grin on the corners of her lips, and nods.

"Fine, but no more slacking off," she agrees, pointing at the pinkette with an accusative finger. Her voice still sounds slightly _broken_ , but she can talk almost perfectly fine.

"Sightseeing is important for strategical information!" pouts Sakura, not even bothering to hide her growing grin. Tenten finally chuckles, despite herself. _Here goes humanity's last hope, who still runs off to go shopping_. "Oh, shut up."

* * *

Four months - and no sign of Sasuke. Unnerving doesn't come close to describing how anxious she feels. He hasn't prodded into her side of the connection since the incident with Isobu. And now that she knows that they are able to _interact_ and sense each other in a very deep level, she won't even try to poke into his side. Sakura might be curious about his whereabouts, but getting trapped in his mind, at his mercy, doesn't seem like the idea of someone who values their life.

Things have been _almost_ too simple, too easy. By the time she woke up, she was on a ship that she couldn't recognise - the fishermen from a nearby island dared to investigate the cause of the great waves. While not nearly as powerful as a ninja, these people were trained to double as guardians of their secluded village. It only took them a few hours to find the stranded group of shinobi.

Naturally, after the wreckage caused by the war, any actual ninja were gone and a new wave of pirates and bandits had started to plague Water. Sakura pities the poor fools that still try to try their luck in Lightning - there are many rumors about the technological treasures hidden in the ruins of Kumo. Yet no one has managed to come back alive or sane, so most of these people have ended up pillaging the smaller villages - Kikai, the home of their rescuers, among them.

In exchange of food and a place to stay, these people were very willing to let the shinobi take care of the situation and defend their ships. The passing of days and then weeks slowly eased the friction between the strangers and the tight-knit community, that has been living with technology that was revolutionary a few decades ago. Sakura has noticed it seems to be a recurring theme in these poor places.

It has been half a year since the end of the war, and the ripples of its chaos still make the world tremble. The old radios on the island provide scarce news that only reflect the state of the Nations - and yet, Sasuke hasn't been doing anything that the news have mentioned. Not that they could possibly know of every single one of his machinations, but if there were any major movements or conflicts, it should be heard.

Too quiet. It only makes her nervous, and in response she has redoubled her effort in training. The Ningyo's effect on her has barely changed - her only victory over the seal being that she isn't running away from its ghosts anymore. There are nightmares, moments where it seems like reality is cracking and slipping in between her fingers, but nothing compared to what it was months ago.

She has a true cause to fight for, beyond survival or her own ideas - for all the people whose souls she hosts. Surrender or flight aren't options anymore, and she wouldn't have it any other way. They all count on her, even if there is a giant majority that barely knew of her existence before this debacle. She can't fail them - especially not Naruto.

There were some explanations to be made, once she recovered enough to talk - but much to her surprise, Tenten and Lee merely said they had been suspecting it. She behaved like she was insane, but they really didn't want to push the issue - at times, it was clear she wasn't thinking straight. In a way, for them it was relieving to know the cause of the majority of her strange actions and words. Unstable shinobi aren't uncommon, but now they have a more solid reason to hold onto.

Misho needed a very lengthy, yet still watered down explanation of how the Ningyo works - and then suddenly exclaimed that 'everything made sense'. Maru didn't ask - in fact he was quiet for nearly a month, strangely absent and lacking his usual aura of confidence. One day, he simply went back to his old behavior as if nothing happened; Sakura admits that the rat truly makes no sense at all.

Their time on the island has been spent trying to gather information, remain hidden and recover. There are huge weights on their shoulders, scars caused by the war - but Sakura is truly determined to get herself to a level where she can avoid an instant-death. Getting flattened by Susanoo is something that, as of now, she would only avoid by pure miracle. Up until now, she has been _lucky_ \- Sasuke's own mind has been clouded by ongrowing dementia, pressured from all sides and even by that doppelgänger.

He didn't have anyone to hold onto, his own expectations and emotions turning the phantoms against him. If they didn't hate him before, they surely do now. All he had to keep him going was a dream, a goal, and if not for it he would already have succumbed. Sakura knows he won't just give up - he didn't stop at the massacre of the Alliance, and he won't do it now, even if it kills him. However, that could also kill _her_ if he decides she's a priority. The last time he _tried_ to find her… it took him _days_ to find a trail and jump right into pursuit.

She won't test her luck twice. Especially after she basically declared _war_ on him - a fight of ideals, _wills_. Something Naruto cheered her for, but she has no clue what was Sasuke's actual reaction to it. He definitely didn't snap like before, because she didn't feel anything of the sort. Instead, he went silent. And that is probably the worst thing that could have happened, as she has been left in the dark.

All these months, she has spent trying to figure out a viable fighting style - common chakra-moulding, she can't do. The stab from the Ningyo anytime she forms a seal breaks her control. But she is still able to channel chakra to some extent - and her best idea came from watching a puppetmaster practice. Kikai has started to receive more attention from refugees, mostly shinobi who ended up stranded during the war - it seems like Sakura wasn't the only one who thought that Water would be the best bet for survival.

Her own fight with Sasori showed the level of control that is required, but also the brutal effectiveness of puppets - however, the puppets themselves aren't an option. No, what caught her attention in a brief moment of true brilliance was their _control_. She knew she was able to affect her surroundings with her chakra, just not in the fanciest ways. Perhaps there was a chance for her to form jutsu that way?

Whatever happened with Engetsu's ship and sensing Isobu through water caused a permanent effect on her - the pathways that the Three-Tails probed are distinctly wider. She can sense things through water with much more ease than before. It makes her sensitive as hell to attacks channeled through it, but few people do that - in turn, her control over the element has been heightened to a whole new level.

After months of practice, she is able to charge it with the barest minimum of her chakra and push it as if it were a part of her own body. In the last four weeks, she has been trying to watch and mimic different jutsu - surprised to see that, even without seals, her motions are enough to command the element if it's charged enough. It's a game of playing with the flow and strength of the water, one that leaves her very vulnerable while she warms up… but she _can_ create jutsu now. They have to be done manually and in a very slow fashion, but it's better than nothing.

Shibuki hasn't been the only village head whose home has been affected by the recent chaos that has plunged the Elemental Nations into the darkness - but he was one of the only familiar faces she recognised, and quite willing to help her gain a wider repertory of jutsu. As an experienced Water user, he can review her technique very well. However, he is under a pressing need to find anyone willing to help with retaking his village.

Konoha forces took over, due to his rebellious attitude towards the new Hokage. He barely made it out alive, after his _village_ had to convince him to leave and live to see another day. They would be fine, but he would likely be executed. Being seen as a coward _again_ is something he doesn't like, yet it was the only option. He was wary of the Konoha ninja - but technically, Sakura and the others are missing-nin.

For now, no one will offer help to him - the pinkette felt compelled to break that trend. However, retaking a village is something they wouldn't be able to do on their own, and especially not against the Leaf. She feels queasy just thinking about fighting these people. The only solution is to bide their time, practice and strengthen themselves until there's a better chance to do it.

The only news she has of the state of the world come from refugees and other missing-nin - chaos is truly engulfing everything. Months ago, Sasuke attempted to rule with an iron hand over the Nations, but no one has heard about Konoha's movements for an alarmingly long time. He can't have disappeared - but Sakura knows that she can't go prodding into their connection safely. He would know.

She can only wait.

* * *

If there is one person she never expected to have as an ally, that is Itachi Uchiha, whose sole unyielding motivation lies in the love for his little brother. Her first thought when she finally got to ask him a couple question was _the bastard knew all along_. While his own soul is slightly more diluted than most of the others, his will is definitely one of the most firm. And he was perfectly aware of the choice she would make - hence the help he has provided to retain the majority of her sanity.

Cloaking her in some cheaty mind-genjutsu is something she feels impressed about - overlaying her demented illusions with his less harmful ones did a good deal of help. And as confirmed by Naruto, it required the combined effort of quite a few people to manage that. After all, it's her mind, and a few fragments of souls are barely powerful enough to affect it like that. Unable to control, as Tsunade stated when she worried about being played.

Shinobi don't _trust_. But it's the most plausible explanation she has, even if it comes from these phantoms. Even Isobu recognised that there is chakra of different souls in her, so it's unlikely that all of this is a machination crafted by her mind, or someone else's.

Obviously, 'literally' filling her mind with the mush of feathers and deafening bells impaired her own critical thinking severely. However, these souls are only able to perceive the world in a vague way, through her own perception - there are things even they are unsure about. Until recently, they didn't know how many phantoms had been chakra-imprinted in her soul, as it was all a dark and blurry mess. Only the strongest ones were clear. In the end, they all are prisoners, just like she is. What broke the genjutsu was her own effort to mix reality with illusion - when she handed her feather to Misho, it broke.

Hence the overwhelming emptiness she mistook for a step into depression, her need to latch onto something as useless as an umbrella - it took her some time to adjust to the change. Even the phantoms don't really know how much chakra was imprinted on her soul, so all they could do was try to shield her from the worst of it, and hope she would come to figuring out the truth.

It has taken many months for that - and in the meanwhile, her own inner self came back to life, stronger than ever. All these repressed thoughts, emotions, reactions - it all pooled inside her, making her more of a person than she ever was. She could still pass as a twin that has lived her whole life with Sakura, but there are nuances here and there where her personality differs.

"Why the hell did you convince me I'd been…?" She doesn't say the word, a painful knot forming in her throat, and she clears it off with a very fake cough. Ino visibly winces, though it seems like she is more angry than anything else. Sachi tilts her head to the side, a tiny smile on her lips and a devious glint in her eyes.

"It would be no fun otherwise, don't you think?"

* * *

The days are running in a diminishing countdown - Sakura is perfectly aware that Sasuke will not wait forever. He has to be expecting something, ready to fight back, or planning an attack of his own. Summer approaches and Kikai becomes a focal point for missing-nin. It makes her increasingly nervous to see all these strange faces. It's just a matter of time that someone will cause or bring trouble.

And the world has plunged into chaos even deeper. There are tales of mighty beasts of ancient pasts rising, from the darkness of the night and the depth of the ocean, crawling out of caves and attacking from the forests. Something out there is stirring, and if these things are as powerful as the one that attacked Isobu, everyone will be deep in trouble. What causes it, she can only guess, but most of her time is spent training and readying herself for the disaster that will be coming, eventually.

Tenten has finally managed to get a hold of a good storage scroll that she can work on; Lee has figured out that with or without half his limbs, he can still overwork himself; Misho has managed to stop setting random things on fire. Maru has gone back to pestering her about geodes. Sakura manages to figure out how to locate the fissures and structures that allow her to manipulate earth and stone.

Unlike water, that has no set size, she can only pry apart the earth element by finding the structures within - it takes a quick and brief scan of the material at hand, but it's possible to manipulate it. Creating her own water, or even attempting to use lightning and fire jutsu, is out of the question completely. But she won't be defenseless - and she can enhance her movement through careful in-body chakra manipulation.

Paranoia and determination bring her to push herself to levels never reached before - she can't heal other people with jutsu as quickly as she could, before, but her own natural skill for the healing arts allows a decent amount of it. And without having to push the chakra _out_ , her own regenerating abilities are rising in efficiency by the day. There will be a limit, at least until she can push the Ningyo even further, but as of now she feels confident that she could at least fight most opponents.

Because of this, when the island is finally invaded, she is able to smirk and crack her knuckles, aching for a real fight.

_Bring it on!_


	29. Dance with Devils | Arc III: Ricochet

_Flowing like a river, undercurrent wishes shaping what is set in stone - will._

A kunai pierces the air right where her head was an instant ago. Sakura crouches down and flings a weapon of her own. It's extremely hard to discern friend from foe amid the darkness of the night. Screams fill the air, the clash and whistle of weapons going side by side with flashes of lightning and fire. She has no water to defend herself with, so subtle chakra enhancements and her own skill with kunai will have to do.

"Do we know who we're fighting?" she inquires, eyes darting towards Tenten's position for a split second. It seems like there is no pattern to the attacks, and the chaos of the night is enough to give them a slight respite.

"No clue. I've seen every headband under the sun, but only a few people allying," replies the brunette, casually flinging half a dozen kunai and striking down a silhouette. "This isn't a very well coordinated invasion," she adds, backing up towards Sakura. Her voice is raspy, but the brunette refuses to let that stop her from talking, even if it hurts.

 _It's almost as if everyone was out on their own_. But why would they be attacking each other? What started it? There was a lot of built up tension and suspicion between the different parties, as everyone was waiting some sort of attack from the rest. A mere misunderstanding, a small brawl… it could have been the catalyst for an all-out fight where everyone feels surrounded by enemies.

Then again, the likely thing is that there were plants - creating dissent and then chaos. Without organisation or a lead, most low-level ninja wouldn't be able to react properly. They'd be striking down their own comrades without noticing, in the middle of the night… But not a single person that she has fought seemed to have a clue of what was happening.

"It has to be a distraction," she warns in-between breaths. Without the sense of sight, the others have to pick up for the void. There are stray weapons everywhere - she has never seen a fight this big and disorganised. "We need to regroup and get out of here. I don't think anyone will follow us." It takes a special amount of will to force these words out, as her first impression was that Sasuke figured out where she is. Five minutes after the start of this all-out fight, however, she noticed that no one was particularly inclined to kill or subdue her.

Either Sasuke wants to pull her apart from the others, or she really isn't the _target_. For now, however, avoiding injury is a priority. Sakura can barely heal herself, let alone anyone else. Any significant healing would send up a flare for the Uchiha to see.

Lee isn't much further ahead - the angle of his attacks is unexpected to most enemies. Even in plain day, he would be almost invisible in the tall grass. His presence and Tenten's knives are making a somewhat safe circle around them, as no one wants to be struck down by perfectly accurate kunai or an attacker they can't see at all.

Their position here isn't a coincidence either - Sakura is covering up for Shibuki, who should be evacuating the civilians of Kikai. Keeping most opponents away or out of the small village seemed like a good thing to do, while evaluating the situation. She hasn't seen the man by herself, but she trusts in his ability to fend off mooks. The majority of shinobi that ended up here were refugees, so he should be fine. Misho and Maru should be too.

The voice of a man rises into the sky near them, and her eyes quickly follow the fireball that ascends much higher than any other structure in the island. And then it hits something _solid_ and explodes. Sakura furrows her brows, concentrating, but the light is enough to draw the outline of something _huge_. Is it a signal?

"What the hell is _that_?" Sakura's eyes widen, spotting an elongated, cyclopean silhouette drawn against the stars, rising above everything else in the island. She wasn't the first one to spot it - the fights are slowly dying down, as an unnatural screeching sound fills the air, gazes rising towards its source. Impossibly hard ice dragging against ice. A pale blue star bursts into light, far above their heads.

Time freezes. Memories of a Bijū charging up an attack flood through her mind, the glow of the sphere illuminating the inside of a reptilian mouth, filled with teeth as tall as small trees. And around that, the head of a creature that should belong to a myth - she recognises the turquoise, glimmering skin; the long whiskers that hang from a gigantic head, the long neck that rises from the sea and is lost in the darkness.

What calls out for her attention, an instant before the monster releases the attack, is the lavender glow of its eyes.

* * *

Sasuke looks positively murderous, which has to be something (at least, in 'his' Sakura's opinion). She doesn't seem to care all that much that such fury is directed against her, merely propping a hand against her hip and smirking at him. It's true - she has nothing to fear. He can't hurt her. But that's not the objective of her particularly pungent words, nor the fact that she just killed the one person who could have become 'Hokage'.

"If she was defeated that easily, then she wasn't good enough, no?" she insists, clicking her tongue. That wasn't the reason for Hanabi's death, not even close. She was just a child - and regardless of all her potential, there was no chance for her to survive if someone as powerful as Sasuke went against her. "Besides, I'm sure it brings back memories," she continues, balancing herself on the balls of her feet, blood pooling around her sandals.

The last of the Uchiha is not a man of useless words - and nearly every interaction with the phantom could account as such. He kneels down next to the corpse, which may not be as mangled as the _others_ , but its state is enough to make him purse his lips tightly. It's dragging very old memories to the surface, a boiling anger rising from his stomach like bile.

"You killed her because she knew," he states, his voice emotionless but tense. He looks up at the clone, whose gaze is derisive.

"Yup. You wanted to be alone, didn't you? I'm only helping out a little weakling," Sakura explains. "I'm only this strong because your wish is so strong, Sasuke-kun. My actions are still bound by your will - the more you let go of your emotions, the more power I will have. If you can't keep a hold of them, I will. I thought I didn't have to explain this!" she pouts, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away, muttering something that sounds like an insult to his intelligence.

And then little, fragile, supposedly-dead Hanabi cries out.

* * *

It takes the obliteration of a big chunk of the island, courtesy of the sea serpent, for the shinobi to look at each other and realise that they have been fighting the wrong enemy. The tension between the different groups of shinobi drives them to accuse each other of the attack _again_ , effectively causing an internal fight on top of the one against the serpent. The monster attacks indiscriminately, decimating them by the dozens each time it goes on the offense. By the time they figure out it's no one's fault, their forces have been reduced to nearly nothing.

Sakura manages to catch enough information to confirm that the sighting of the creature is what started the conflict to begin with. And that nothing, _nothing_ anyone can do seems to be able to even dent it. The few lightning users that remain have been attempting to team up and fry the serpent with a combined attack, but it seems to be shrugging off everything they throw at it.

Over and over, all it does is hover over them, and charge up a new sphere of chakra infused ice. She counted - it takes the creature a minute and forty-two seconds to do it. It doesn't get tired, or weaker, or take longer with each one. The majority of the island has been covered by a thick sheet of residue from them - the spheres make everything they touch explode into ice spikes. People, plants, the ground… it doesn't matter. It's cold enough that it could snow, and no place is safe.

Only speed, ninja reflexes and stamina determine who lives, merely by getting out of the way in time. The serpent, who she is almost certain has to be the real-life version of Bakunawa, is deliberately preventing them from running. Tall waves rush overland from every side, and she can't help but wonder if anyone at all made it out. The plan was to move the civilians away, but were they in time?

"I think that thing is targeting us," whispers Tenten, eyes trained on the ongrowing blue glow many meters above their heads. She doesn't say more, but Sakura considers it - they've had to dodge every single attack. Every sphere was dangerously close to them, but always just enough so they could get out of the way. "If it's the same thing that attacked the Three-Tails, it might be after it," she adds, upon guessing that Sakura is coming to the same conclusions as her.

The Bakunawa is _toying_ with them. Destroying the container of the Bijū could potentially cause the Tailed Beast to finally disintegrate, or… _it's stalling!_ Sakura's eyes widen, her gaze trained on the lavender irises that seem to hang from the clouds themselves. As if it was looking straight at her, and _only_ her - with an intensity that sends a familiar chill down her spine. It's almost enough to make her forget about dodging entirely.

"The eyes!" she hollers, from the other side of the newly thrown ice sphere - it crashes over the ground, digging a trench that is immediately filled with spikes, and finally collides against a small hill, blowing it up. Tenten is out of sight momentarily, but the message seems clear - an instant later, a small shadow rises against the lavender glow of the serpent's eyes.

 _No way._ If not for the half-hearted dodge of the Bakunawa, Tenten's explosive kunai would have hit it in the eye. It is not time to marvel, however, at the brunette's marksmanship skills. The added light of the explosion was enough for her to see the faint black lines drawn _over_ the serpent's original irises. _The Rinnegan!_

* * *

Sasuke has seen enough fear in other people's eyes, to be able to recognise it even if they try to conceal it. This is much closer to the same abject terror that he saw on Sakura's eyes - although for much less of a reason. And it seems to snowball from there - Hanabi is savvy enough to understand how positions of power work, and that if you do what you should or is ordered by superiors, then you should be fine. Duty and honor is a language she knows well.

What she has never faced personally is the fear that, no matter what she does, she's not safe. Sasuke is aware of how many times Hanabi saw her big sister _failing_ to meet requirements and getting punished in return. In fact, exploiting that inner fear of hers made things much easier in convincing her to do his bidding. Her father had already built a set of rules that she obeys by pure instinct. Contrary to rumors that he just recently became aware of, his interest has nothing to do with sex.

Konoha needs a pretty, official face to take care of the most visible part of the work - someone loyal to him, who is also powerful enough to pose as a Kage. He never intended to remain in a visible place for too long - once the Nations were somewhat under control, he could take care of matters from the darkness. Yet his options were very limited: most of the ninja who could have qualified for the position are dead (by his hand, no less). The rest hate his guts and would rather die than accept.

And Hanabi was _right there_ \- a king at his disposal, that also had ties to the potential rebels. Young enough to be shaped into something more convenient, talented beyond her years and with one of the best bloodlines known to the ninja world. It seemed logical that gaining her favor and loyalty was a priority. This plan would have taken years to fulfill, but that was no issue.

All of that flew out of the window when, for apparently no reason at all, he tried to kill her. It would be foolish to say that Hanabi had trusted him - but she trusted the unspoken and the stated rules that would prevent her death. There had been a decent level of understanding between them, and she had been comfortable enough to share information. Mostly about life, sometimes little casual comments - she didn't get much of an answer, but she has spent a very long time cut off from any other human being. It was only a matter of time that she started to lean on him.

"I was sleepwalking," he explains, not bothering to sit on the chair next to her bed. Her hands are clasped together a bit too tightly. "No matter what I said to you, it wasn't me who did it. I have no intention of killing you."

"You said it was a test, Hokage-sama," Hanabi mumbles. Her soft, young voice does not _quiver_ \- but it sounds distressed all the same. She doesn't have to say anything else, Sasuke can remember somewhat clearly what happened next. Sakura's doppelgänger took control of his body while he slept, and decided it was her task to fix weak points in his plan. Hanabi wasn't expecting such a great amount of killing intent. She had no chance at all, and now any weak trust there was is gone.

There are two options here: Sakura's plan was to kill Hanabi, but her control wasn't good enough, and the frenzied state she put Sasuke into made it hard to kill anyone in cold blood (much like it happened in the war); or she _has_ that control, which is highly disturbing in every level, but chose to merely break the Hyūga heiress. Either way, it thwarted his plan.

He turns around to leave, pondering what should he do with her - as a hostage, Hanabi is still useful, but without news of her it's likely that the village will think she is dead. Yet if she isn't going to be learning under him any longer, if the damage to her trust is irreparable, he can't let her mingle with them. If there are any transgressions, sacrificing her for a show could work, but besides that…

"I know she was the one who did it." Even to his ninja senses, her whisper is barely audible, dragging him out of his thoughts with much more sharpness than the words it contains. He stops under the doorframe, sensing that that's not all. There is a big _but_ coming. "But… despite the use of my Byakugan, I can't sense anything but your soul within your body, Hokage-sama."

She stops with a surprised gasp, nearly flattened against the mattress by the amount of killing intent that rolls off of him in waves. What impresses him, he doesn't know - if it's her foolishness or bravery, as Hanabi gulps and forces herself to continue.

"There was!" she squeaks, her resolve unwavering even if her voice is cracking. He turns around, mismatching eyes nailing her in place. "Before- when you arrived here, Hokage-sama. It was as if… as if there were traces of other souls piled up on yours. My clansmen saw it too. Hundreds of them." The killing intent diminishes slowly, with difficulty, and she releases a breath she didn't seem to be aware of holding.

"Describe it." His tone is as flat as he can manage, but there is pent up ire dripping into every word like venom. No one in the right mind would consider even hiding the answer he demands. At her stunned silence, he frowns. "What did you see?" Right on the edge of shouting enough to snap her back into reality. Or, if she was considering resistance, cowing her into responding.

"I'm sorry, but- I don't know, Hokage-sama. No one has seen anything like that, not since the Fifth Kazekage, and that was… entirely different." Her long hair hides her face, as she lowers her head and fixes her pupils on her hands. "Gaara Kazekage-sama had… a whole soul, in his sand. But the chakra was mostly his. Hokage-sama, what you had… it was as if parts of your chakra were missing, and fragments of other people's chakra and soul had been trapped in the holes," Hanabi continues, frowning slightly, as if she still couldn't make sense of the picture too well. "The Kazekage's soul was willing to be there - yours were pushing everywhere, trying to break free. That's..." Hanabi trails off somewhat hastily, closing her eyes. _That's what the other Hyūga said_.

Thoroughly unaffected by her inner conflict, Sasuke steps closer and fails to resist the urge to sit down on the chair. For some reason, he feels dizzy and nauseous - he doesn't want to leave, but staying on his feet doesn't seem to be a good idea. It's almost as if weak points he didn't know he had were being pushed, with each of Hanabi's words.

"I suspected this had been the case for a while," he admits, since there is no harm or secret in it. The village already knows. He frowns at noticing that some of the political mannerisms and speech patterns have rubbed off on him, probably due to all these meetings. "But these phantoms have been around me for months. There hasn't been any change to them, and as you might have noticed they are getting stronger."

Hanabi shakes her head minutely, just barely managing to repress the urge to openly contradict him. Her pearly white eyes raise almost enough to meet his gaze, but she hesitates. Although Sasuke still doesn't intend to break his word and kill her, she doesn't seem to have much faith in her possibilities.

"They went away, Hokage-sama. Overtime, your chakra replenished and purified these imperfections. I don't know how did they get there, but they're gone. I have seen the phantoms around you - their… their chakra is no different." A covert way of saying _you made them_ or _you're crazy_. Or both. Manifestations of the sort are not unheard of, although uncommon - the user needs to have a lot of chakra, to be able to lose that much without missing it. Instinctive, subconscious or unintended usage of chakra. For them to be strong enough to take over his body, even if it's when he sleeps...

"Is this why you've still been peeking into my room at night?" he inquires, finding some dark amusement in the way Hanabi flinches, and then falls prey to a wince at the pain the motion causes. She manages to deduce, however, that if he already knew and didn't kill her, it must mean he won't do it now. Reluctantly, she nods.

"The first time, I heard voices," she justifies. "And then screams. I thought something was wrong." She looks like she will say another thing, but she bites it back (Sasuke can just guess that it has to do with Sakura). Hanabi holds her gaze steady. "I was… worried. It has happened every night, and gotten worse. These… phantoms you speak of, Hokage-sama, they're really becoming stronger."

"Sharp thorns you have, little flower," purrs a third voice, right behind _him_. Hanabi immediately pales and tenses up, nearly recoiling in pure panic. Her eyes blank out, as if she wasn't seeing what is in front of her anymore. He knows these eyes - behind them are replaying scenes of horror, all she can see. "But you're very wrong if you think the phantoms aren't real."

The rule of thumb is that no one can see Sakura - some people are able to perceive the phantoms when he is on the edge of lashing out, but Sasuke always figured that it's because they felt his own aura. Even Hanabi seemed mostly oblivious to the doppelgänger, except the one time he is sure that she saw the clone. That, however, must be an incorrect assumption - because he, too, can vaguely sense the faint presence behind him.

"Blurry, am I not?" she whispers, her hands landing on his shoulders and sending a shiver down his back. But she has no breath, even if she is whispering in his ear. None of his senses tell him that there's a different person there. "What if I told you, your own technique backfired on you? That you were _so weak_ and exhausted, when you failed to kill me, that tiny bits of the souls you cut got stuck on yours?"

"That's not possible," he replies, but his own body is frozen. He can't shake off her hands or a horrible feeling of dread, pooling in his gut. His eyes are still looking straight into Hanabi's, whose gaze is filled with abject terror. She seems to be too scared to run. "Souls can't be broken. You're not real."

"You offend me, Sasuke-kun," she murmurs, reflecting true hurt for a split second. "You're too smart to think I'm the real Sakura, hm? Not after you saw her. She and I are too different," she states, matter-of-factly. Her fingers leave a ghostly trace on his skin, absently, as if she was playing with her food.

Sasuke's heart is racing, his mind trying to grasp at wild straws, but coming up blank. It feels like what he experienced when he ended up on Sakura's mindscape - but this is very real. His own body is not under his control. His eyes widen a fraction of an inch.

"You are the one who immobilised me." Not just in that moment - in all the dreams, he could never move. No, he could _move_ , but had no control over his own actions. The images of the massacres replayed, and he was powerless to do anything. Every time, it felt as if he was merely a puppet, controlled by a stronger force. "You're the one who…" The pictures of all the times he lost control, blinded by rage and unable to steer his own mind and its thoughts.

A maremagnum of crushing emotions spins out of his grasp, the pounding in his chest growing until it feels like it'll burst. The doppelgänger places a finger under his eye, and drags her nail down across his skin, tearing, causing the blood to drip down his cheeks and chin.

"Continue, I'll help you cry," she mutters, her voice surprisingly soft. And he can't move, he can't _think_ \- "Come on!" she snaps, digging deeper into his flesh.

"If the chakra wasn't eventually cleansed… it must have been absorbed," he offers. His mind would be racing, but its sloppy patterns are not helping. "Mingled with my own until there is no difference. And.. under my control, at least partially." But if there was anything left of these souls… they would want nothing to do with him. And try to break free, or kill him. The more he lost control, the more they would gain.

Suddenly, the existence of this different Sakura and her attitude towards him makes a whole lot of sense, in a way that nearly sends him crashing into horror. She snickers lowly, as if she understood - of course she does, her venom has slipped deep enough to be able to understand his thoughts.

"I am nothing but all these things you reject, dear," she whispers. "Even your own emotions. And especially because you deny them, they will only keep growing and growing until they consume you. Just like me. You can't escape yourself, dear."

There has to be a way to dismount her - all she amounts to is a fancy chakra construct that spiraled out of control, like a faulty summon. If she's made of his chakra, there _has_ to be a way to break the spell. It requires strength that he didn't know he had, but he forces himself to turn his head a few inches to the side, towards her. Bright green eyes meet his, yet there is still no breath. He tries to _see_ \- he can perceive the flow of chakra, even within the human body.

But like all other times, there is nothing there. Only a blurry mess of twisted energies, that feels like chakra yet exudes no life. Compressed and chaotic, it barely has any flow to it; instead, the movement comes from ripples and bursts of chakra. Belatedly, he notices that they resemble a heartbeat. One that matches his own. He blinks - how long has he spent staring? It's even harder than his latest movement, to tear his gaze away.

"You're not her," Sasuke mutters, his lips cold and devoid of feeling. Focus, _focus!_ That thing almost ate him whole. It's hypnotic. "I don't know what you are, but you're not Sakura." His mind races to find a match, a slice of information that could provide an answer. Something this chaotic should either dissolve, disintegrate or merely explode. Chakra cannot (does not) behave like this freely.

"Then who am I?" she spurs, a clawed hand grabbing his chin and snapping his head back to its former position. Her eyes reflect a disturbing amount of insanity. "If you made me, if I hate you so much, then who am I, Sasuke-kun?" Her voice and body quiver, as if she could barely contain herself from doing or saying something. He can feel the vibrations of her state on his own skin, faintly.

And then she leans forward and kisses him. Time freezes - there is something else. A vague warmth, a distant memory, a flash from a time where things were so much easier. When he had _dreams_ and his nights weren't filled with nightmares; when he allowed himself to daydream and hope and enjoy the nice things of life. And a little shadow with bright pink hair, in the middle of it all, whispering vaguely audible words that beckoned him to join her and _live_.

Pain. Pain like nothing he has ever felt before, and the touch of the phantom becomes slightly _blurrier_ , her chaos calming and her fingers becoming faint. She pulls back, and for the first time there is a strange glint in her eyes, devoid of malice. Sasuke can't speak.

"You ripped my soul to shreds," she mutters, but he can more feel it than hear it. "But after that, you could never remove my mark on you. When you were dying, you took the little life I could give you - even after you were the one to steal it from me."

A flash of stumbling, dragging himself through the pools of blood and charred and broken bodies. But his legs didn't answer - and he tripped and fell, and then couldn't get up. No matter how hard he tried - he couldn't get up. He was going to die.

"But the _truth_ is such an uncertain thing, that you twisted it until it fit with what you wanted to _be_. And to me you attached all these things, all these thoughts and emotions you didn't want, and bent them in a way that was _convenient_ ," she continues. "Resentment for how it saved you, and how it doomed you, and how you would never be _perfect_ \- but you could only push it so far. Trying to paint it as something that was alien to the real you, which was only an image you constructed."

Because sometimes he still wakes up crying, drowned in glimpses of what could have been, and what he couldn't do, and what he _did_. How wicked humanity is, that their only salvation rested in his hands, the only ones capable of doing what had to be _done_. And Naruto wouldn't (couldn't) understand. Lying to him was the only way. There was nothing else he could do, regardless of what he felt or wanted.

"I'm only the signature of the contract you filled, dear. I'm the small letters you didn't read. I'm the jail for all you don't want, fighting for freedom. You can't win - you can't defeat me. You're only a fool that I hate for trying. You're lying to yourself."

"What am I supposed to do?" He wants to spit venom back at her, but the strength doesn't come. The words are slurred, his head dizzy and vision blurry, faded. "I can't do what you want. All I worked to achieve…" Sasuke coughs, and the metallic taste of blood fills his mouth. Something is very wrong, but he can't connect the most basic dots. It's so dark, and everything feels cold.

There is a fight going on behind her green irises - flashes of primal hatred, so Uchiha, clashing against something much warmer. Her insides are fighting, the imbalance of accumulated positives and negatives trying to sort itself out in what is too little time. Sasuke really wants to find it ironic - there's nothing he can do to stop it. It's as if he had been under growing strain and finally fallen to chakra exhaustion. It's his own fault, but he has no energy to deal with it like he usually would.

"A challenge," she finally decides, her voice raspy - it seems like his own tiredness is also getting to the doppelgänger. "Acknowledge that we exist, and fight Sakura to see who has a stronger will. And if she wins, you will honor us and recognise that we're more powerful."

Even behind all that tiredness, he gives her a _look_ \- if someone wants to be noticed, then they should make themselves visible. The clone slaps him soundly, and nearly pushes him off the chair. He stares down at the floor and the sheets that hang from the bed.

"If you don't, I will kill you. Don't you see I'm already strong enough to do this to you?" the clone mutters, and Sasuke is almost certain that her voice is growing distant, the syllables pronounced with slowness and difficulty, forced through her lips by sheer will. And in this moment he understands that she's right. Sakura sighs. "Make your own rules this time. All your life, you've lived for _others_ \- not a sliver of your soul is motivated by your own heart. You've been lied to, manipulated, played and used like a puppet for goals that weren't yours. I know you don't care - but if this is a battle of hearts... you will lose."

There's truth in her words, which carry denial over how _wrong_ it feels (so he can ignore the annoyance and take the best route to do what is right). Whispers of how all he does is based on comparing other people, to good and bad. First it was avoiding anything Itachi would have done, in order to be _better_ ; and then utter chaos, when he found out that all he knew was _false_. And if a hero like Itachi could do all these things… then so can he. For a greater good, sacrifices must be made. Even if it's his own humanity.

All he did was based on other people, foreign but reasonable; unwanted but necessary. Yet some part of him, the one he intended to seal off and forget about, persisted. Spurred by the will of all those who died, and mostly the burning emotions of the one person who still loves him. He wonders if she can understand any of it. If she would care, if she did. And the answer is no - Sakura is his polar opposite in that regard. Always letting these things get the better of her.

That day - when all the pillars crumbled into dust, and their wills clashed once more; that day, he had hated her. When she had the _chance_ to stand up and failed. What had been dismissal at her petty actions and misdirected motivation, in the mid of all the chaos, became disgust. He would have killed her (she was an obstacle too), but the opportunity was snatched from his hands. And she never tried again, seemingly resigning herself to her heart's guidance. _Fool_.

" _You know, the people we hate the most are the ones that remind us of ourselves."_

The clone has moved, crouching in front of him and looking up with these eyes that are only a mirage of the real ones. There is only a vague glint of the true spirit of the real Sakura, her vivacity and seemingly unyielding stupidity. Sasuke blinks.

"Who were you punishing back then, when you missed the first strike?" _When you tried to kill me and you failed_. "Who were you trying to break and bend to your will, because they couldn't be killed?" There is a reflection of triumph in her features, even though she seems tired and almost like an apparition from a dream. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.

Because there are no words to reflect the clenched hand around his heart, the shock that forces his eyes to widen and his body to stiffen; nothing that can describe the fire that he sees in her eyes, staring back at him with grim determination. A mismatching mix of two very different people. A shiver runs through him, and then he loses his balance and the world is engulfed by darkness.

* * *

"Woah," Sakura stumbles in her steps, panting. The Ningyo constricts heavily around her body, much more tense than it usually is, and darker than black. She assumes it's because, at this point, she is very close to fainting due to every kind of exhaustion. There is the sensation of chakra _tugging_ at her, as if asking for energy she doesn't have.

Her attention, however, is on the sea serpent that has been causing all this chaos starts to fall over, suddenly motionless and limp. Kikai doesn't exist anymore. When the monster falls over the ruins, causing the ground to shake as if there was an earthquake, there is barely anything left standing over.

The creature was truly intent on targeting her group - dividing its attention between Sakura herself and Tenten. Quiet analysis confirmed that the Bakunawa was indeed after the Three-Tails… but also after her. And as time went on, it seemed to become more and more fierce in its attack. Desperate, even.

The monster does not stir. Its purple eyes are glassed over - in size, the turquoise serpent is well over a hundred meters long and wider than a house. The terrain is frosted over from the attacks, the temperature chilled down enough to feel like winter. Its power felt otherworldly - and in seeing it, she can understand why Water hates bloodline users so much.

They're said to descend from _these_ beasts, on a whole different level compared to humans. In the eyes of some, it is no better than multiplying jinchūriki, with powers beyond rationality even for ninja, and even more so for poor civilians.

"Stay ready," Tenten warns, when Sakura steps closer. The pinkette nods, her eyes fixated on the lavender orbs on the serpent's head. The inky lines of the Rinnegan are faded out, as if they were only slightly translucent, drawn on top of Bakunawa's original eyes. She contemplates stepping closer just to make sure it's really dead - then the beast's body convulses, glassy eyes filling with focus and losing their lavender tones.

She freezes for a second, eyes locked with those of a creature that has lived far longer than anything she knows. Ancient wisdom replaces the former wild glint to those irises - the serpent moves from side to side, dislodging itself from the ice and rising up again. Then it backs up, and disappears into the night without so much as a splash.

The Ningyo chooses that moment to send a particularly painful jab straight into her chest; and then closes around her, tighter, tighter, choking the air out of her. Sakura falls to her knees, the familiar chorus of bells ringing in the distance, unable to stop herself from falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

The meadow is enveloped by grim light, mismatching colors drawing strange shadows on the forest's trees. With each bell, the lighting shifts ever so slightly; it's a strange, baseless hunch, but she feels like it's marking the rhythm of two heartbeats. She looks up, only to find a fadingly green moon juxtaposed over a red sun. There are faint screams and shadows and bright eyes, staring at her from the darkness under the forest. _I've seen this before_.

"Kai!" she mutters, deciding that whatever it is that Itachi is trying to hide, has to be important enough to want to see it. A ghostly weight lifts from her shoulders, a faint oppression disappearing from her surroundings- a meteorite collides against the Hokage Mountain, tearing it down and shaking the ground hard enough to cause some of the buildings to collapse.

Black fire rises from the ground, devouring the half the trees and leaving nothing but a barren wasteland behind. And yet some patches of the mindscape seem as green as lively as ever before - the two images seem to be fighting for dominance, shifting in space constantly. The smell of blood and ash is replaced at random with the scent of blooming flowers and trees. Lightning strikes down trees that are never affected by it, and in contrast, fire that came out of nowhere devours patches of the meadow's grass.

And in one of those bubbles of a different reality, someone sits curled up, hugging their legs and shivering. Her heart speeds up, and the flashes of green light intensify. As if on cue, he raises his head and looks around frantically - it takes a few seconds for Sasuke's eyes to find hers, and when it happens, time seems to freeze.

The smart thing to do would be to find a way to go back to her own mindscape, but she realises that she hadn't been in her normal place to begin with. The genjutsu was merely covering up this other half of the picture. _His_ mindscape, or perhaps a projection of it, messily intertwined with hers. She has no clue how to get out, and from what she knows, ending up here seems to be the response to running out of chakra and getting choked by the Ningyo.

That was the theory she decided on - right now she wishes it was anything but _that_. Does that mean he ran out of chakra too? Does it mean he can actually harm her? It might be because she is frozen by fear, or merely that her thoughts are running too wild to be able to react. The spell breaks when he finally moves again, and gets up to his feet. A jolt of unidentifiable emotions urges her to react, and _flee_. If she can stay away from him until she wakes up, then maybe there's a chance.

Sakura can hear him laugh in a way she doesn't like at all; _laugh_ like she didn't even think he could do, which sounds more like a madman's cackles filled with more dementia than humor. It doesn't feel right, and definitely doesn't belong to his usual character. She wonders if he's finally cracked, and her mind briefly skims over how much and what kind of trouble that could bring to her. If their encounter in the battlefield is anything to go by, her survival is rather unlikely.

"Why are you running?" he calls out, from somewhere _ahead_ of her. Cursing lowly, Sakura spots his silhouette in one of the patches of his mindscape. _Of course_. He can do anything he wants in those pockets of space. And if it's about raw power, even in her own she won't stand a chance. She steps back, decidedly staying inside a somewhat stable, summer-like zone. Matching dark eyes meet hers from somewhere enveloped by wildfire and screams. "Don't you know you can't run from me?"

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sachi sputters something along the lines of 'completely fucking crazy', but her voice is distant and faded. Sakura attempts pushing the walls of her small pocket of safety, but they refuse to expand. Determined to not let him get to her, she channels all of her will into holding it in place. It's something along the lines of floating in the middle of the sea, strong waves pushing from everywhere and urging her to move. Like an island, she knows that these forces will slowly erode her only defense.

' _If he's willing to be chatty instead of pushing his obvious advantage, then I'll heed his wish,_ ' she determines, swallowing as quietly as she can and forcing her eyes away from his face. They could switch into two dangerous, mismatching colors in an instant.

"What do you mean?" she inquires, cursing when her voice wavers ever so slightly. She's also sure that it's a higher pitch than usual. Sakura steels herself - normally she can push undesired reactions into a tiny box and then project it through Sachi, but right now it's more like drowning in them.

Sasuke remains silent for an unnerving amount of time, and she can feel his evaluating gaze without having to look. Whatever attitude he was adhering to before, it's gone. This one, at least, is much more familiar with the Sasuke she knows.

"We have a bond," he states, as if that could answer the question perfectly. She can almost feel slight exasperation when, at her silence, he continues. "A little bit of you I can't get rid of, a little bit of me you can't get rid of. Your counterpart on my side insisted on how futile it is to run from each other."

 _That is a lot to think about_. Gritting her teeth, Sakura curses his ability to say so much with little words - and maybe, just maybe, the fact that no matter what he says, her heart hinges on every syllable.

"My counterpart in…" _Tell me,_ Sakura-chan _, what do you know about love?_ "That crazy girl that looked like me?" Sasuke doesn't answer, but he doesn't deny it either. And then, against all that is logically efficient, she blushes fiercely, childishly hoping he has no memory of _that_. Sakura shakes her head, dismissing more than his statement with the motion. "I thought I was hallucinating."

"She has been tormenting me for months," he comments, much more casually than it should sound like. "And I am sure I have done the same for you." Against better judgement, Sakura looks up in surprise - his eyes seem to be trailing over her skin. And there she can see the purely black marks of the Ningyo. Are they visible because of the joint mindscapes, maybe? His eyes are still dark, so she dares to look up - there's a glimpse of triumph behind them. She just gave him confirmation, damn it!

"What do you want?" she forces herself to say, fisting her hands so hard that, if it were the real world, they would probably be bleeding. Feeling the knot in her throat loosen, she pushes forward for what she has been thinking, but couldn't say. "I don't understand why you're doing this," she adds, arms in motion to encompass their surroundings. He seems to be perfectly calm about it all, and for her own life she wouldn't be able to guess what he's thinking.

"I want to know if she was right, when she said you won't give up on me." An involuntary shiver courses all the way from her head to her toes. She can _feel_ his gaze on her, and she doesn't like it one tiny bit.

 _This isn't the moment to be a coward, dammit!_ With a jolt, Sakura straightens up and meets his eyes head on. If she didn't know any better, she would've said he's almost smirking. But Sasuke rarely smirks, and when he does it could account for many things.

"So? I can't beat you in a fight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to throw the towel!" she hollers, putting on a false bravado and pointing at him accusatively. Her inner voice cheers - Sasuke takes the instant to seemingly teleport into the space in front of her, noticing what she only now sees: her hand is out of the bubble of protection she has created. She barely has time to open her eyes just slightly, as he grabs and _pulls_.

The weak equilibrium on the surface of the barrier breaks, and with a splash of space and ripples of mixed reality, Sakura stumbles onto his side. She can't move anymore - or well, she should be able to, but there is a crushing weight pinning her to the ground. Her arms are shaking from trying to keep herself away from the ground. Her knees buckled underneath her, and her legs lie sprawled as she desperately tries to get up. An invisible hand is clenched around her heart, too tightly.

"I should kill you," Sasuke mutters, somewhere away from her. And with these four words he conveys sheer disappointment - what did he expect anyway? Sakura is no pushover by any means, he didn't deny that, but _what did he expect?_ She's nowhere near his level. The fight was over before it even began, and he should've known it.

 _Maybe that's not it_. What could he be looking for? Sasuke doesn't look at people like _that_ , he barely notices them unless they're someone to surpass or an obstacle to defeat. So what is it?

"I can see it now, but is it really worth it?" he mutters, even though it sounds like he's not talking to her. "She doesn't have the Sage's powers, and no bloodline to speak of. How could this ever be a challenge?"

"Asshole!" Sakura is _almost_ certain that this was Sachi speaking for her. Whether he's on a tirade to himself or some perceived third party, she's being evaluated with a cold efficiency that makes her angry. "It's not all about power," she mutters, breaking through the oppression with the help of her ire.

"Perhaps, but power is what you use to decide battles," he replies, crouching down in front of her. Their eyes are level with each other - contrary to what she would expect, there is _something_ boiling behind those dark irises. Sakura can't tell what, though. "My plan was to challenge you, to see who has the stronger will," he adds offhandedly. The intensity of the fire in his eyes, however, is making her extremely uncomfortable. "But I can't do that if you're not strong enough."

He seems to be considering something, weighing options. His eyes widen a little bit, for an instant, and then he shakes his head. "I've been told you won't be sufficiently motivated by hatred, but are your other emotions enough?"

Sakura grits her teeth and attempts to nod, but it's nearly impossible to manage it. It's her turn to look at him with the fiercest gaze she can muster - Sasuke is still watching intently, evaluating.

"Are they?" he adds, unsheathing his sword and holding the cold blade to her throat. Pushing just enough to make her feel like, if she moves a fraction of an inch, it'll cut into her skin. For an instant she is assaulted by memories of a different time, in a similar situation - and then the burning, pent up things that have been pushing around in her mind rise.

Her limbs are tingling, and if she didn't know better she would think that the air around her is rippling. There's a catch here - normally, people don't move when you hold a sword to their throat. But the move seems to be geared towards the opposite, and for a moment she can understand what he is really asking: _are they enough for you to move, even at the risk of your life, even if it seems like you can't win?_

"YES!" she snaps, and at first all she can do is push herself backwards and away from the blade. No, that's not enough! She tries again, and falls backwards due to the strength of the impulse. The bloody red sky meets her gaze, in between the burnt branches of Konoha's trees. Memories of hundreds of her days and hundreds of dead people flash in front of her eyes. Sakura bites her lip hard enough to rip it off, and blood and pain and _freedom_ start flowing.

It takes every inch of her strength, but she plants her palms on the ground and lifts her upper half. Eyes closed in concentration, she focuses on the flow of chakra within her body - it's difficult to do it with the Ningyo, but she can still enhance her own movement and disrupt whatever she can of the pressure on her. It's mostly spiritual energy, but she can handle that. It's similar to manipulating water or using super-strength, even if her whole body feels like it's going to burst from the pressure. The Ningyo constricts around her warningly, nearly making her stumble.

Sakura is sorely tempted to help herself up with the aid of one of the charred trees, but she doesn't. Sasuke wants a show? He's going to get it. On her wobbly feet, Sakura fights against the pressure that still threatens to immobilise her. Each movement requires focusing an unholy amount of chakra, very delicately, but it's much easier now. Defiantly, she glares at him.

"Is this good enough for you?" she mutters, spitting blood that can't have come solely from her bitten lip. Sakura feels the need to mentally scoff - she has spent months dealing with the overwhelming constraint of the Ningyo, with screams and phantoms, with emotions and thoughts that aren't hers. And always pushing against them in order to be able to fulfill her goal. A little bit of brute force isn't going to cow her into submission.

Sasuke's eyebrows are only slightly raised - he hasn't moved from his spot, hasn't bothered to stand up. It should be insulting, but hey, if it gives her a slighter chance to get out of this alive, Sakura won't complain _too much_.

"Men and women have broken just by being under that pressure," he comments - and now she can understand why he seems slightly surprised, and maybe… impressed? Her inner self is doing a giddy dance at both breaking free and this thought, but she forces herself to stay focused.

"Like hell I'll surrender, I'd rather die fighting," Sakura mutters. With something of a wry smile, she adds: "I'm already broken, don't you know? It's gonna take more than that to finish the job."

Her inner voice says something along the lines of not giving temptations to the devil, but the pinkette brushes them off. Right now, she can't be weak - or rather, can't let him think she's weak. The silence stretches on for too long, and she almost wonders if he casted a genjutsu on her. Sasuke doesn't move an inch, doesn't even blink, his eyes scrutinizing, seemingly digging into the depths of her soul.

"You already challenged me, so this would only be a formal acceptance to that," he says, finally getting up to his feet and _yes he put the sword away_. Sakura grits her teeth, because now is not the time to break down into little, scattered pieces. "If you want to win, though, you'll have to come at me with intent to kill."

 _He didn't just make a joke._ What kind of sick, twisted individual is he right now? To be fair, he probably has been on the edge of insanity for a long time. Sakura figures it makes sense that he's a little unstable. _Stop thinking about stupid crap!_

"And you won't try to kill me because I would die?" she asks, slightly irritated at the perceived condescension. _One day, I'll change that_. Maybe having a little bit of Naruto within her has changed how she deals with things…

"Hn," he merely nods, and that's enough to make her want to punch him. _You gigantic prick!_ But a more rational, savvy and most of all, survival-focused part of her decrees that it's true. And also, that it will grant her a headstart.

"...Why?" she sputters. Her thoughts, emotions and reactions are going in completely different directions. Curse a mind that has been fragmented and is technically not whole. And then the way he looks at her, as if saying _I think you're smart enough to figure that on your own_ , makes her want to punch him _again_. She thinks he won't respond to it, which would be very in-character given the circumstances, but he finally speaks with a suddenness that makes her jump a little.

"I want to know who is right." Out of nowhere, the image of Naruto comes to her mind - bright, determined Naruto, who was killed by this man for that same reason. Why would he be unwilling to do the same with Sakura is beyond her. It doesn't seem like _his thing_ and it's only another one of the strange things in his behavior, that jut out from the norm like a tree in the desert.

_What has this other me been doing to him, to change this much?_

Sasuke looks up, and so does she - the eclipse is finally ending. The chaos that reigned in the air around them is also calming down. Whatever confluence happened to bring them together is finally ending. And with it, the weights on her seem to become more focused and less chaotic. It's as if her inner energy, and even her thoughts, could flow more cleanly. A barrage of questions piles on the edge of her lips and the tip of her tongue.

The Uchiha turns around as if to leave, his figure becoming slightly translucent and his voice growing distant. Sakura notices, with no small amount of alarm, that _her_ mindscape is also fading slightly.

"...You can stay until you recover," he adds, as if it were a sudden thought, without turning around. _What_. If Sasuke Uchiha has a second name, it's definitely not 'charity'. "You suffered chakra depletion because of me, so until your reserves are back up, you can't get out," he adds, as if he could read her thoughts.

"Great," she mumbles, pursing her lips into a particularly tight line. Just because he doesn't seem intent on attacking, doesn't mean that she's comfortable with being _stuck_ here. Sasuke is gone an instant later, and after that the landscape's picture of destruction starts slowly receding into the familiar one she knows.

She forces herself to focus on staying alert and being mobile in the meanwhile, walking back to her mindscape as fast as her body allows her to. Once she's safe and sound, then she'll have time to think about the implications and meaning of what just happened.

_I made a deal with the devil, didn't I?_


	30. Who are You? [Interlude III]

_Hero and villain of so many dreams and nightmares - love._

"Are you happy now?" he inquires, looking up from where he lies, still on the threshold of death. Sasuke's eyes are hard and dark, teeth grit in a grimace that could be from anger or pain. The clone does not reply, her image faint and her outlines blurry. With every heartbeat, she becomes slightly clearer.

Although cynical, his tone still reflects a sincere question - even now, it's hard to understand the doppelgänger's true motivations. _Sakura's_ motivations. As much as she might not be able to understand him… perhaps he can't understand _her_ too well. Misjudged, underestimated. It nearly cost him his life and all he worked to achieve. Sasuke is a man that doesn't make the same mistake twice.

"Will you keep your word?" she retorts, her eyes weary and her expression blank. She knows too well - he vowed to oppose Naruto. _Confront_ like he did with Itachi, and do the opposite of all that the Uzumaki had done, in order to prove him wrong, his own ways better. Sasuke was taught to value goals and strength over measly things like friendship, and nearly lost his way all those years ago. Team Seven found a spot in his heart, one that even now remains. "Dutiful until the end…" she mumbles, closing her eyes as if nursing a headache.

Sasuke Uchiha is a ninja - yet not to the core. But enough to do _what has to be done_ , just like Itachi. Even if that meant betraying his best friend, betraying a _promise_. Lying - and tricking him for long enough to kill him. He is not proud of resorting to such a strategy in order to win, not proud of killing his best friend. Yet he _is_ , because he emerged victorious in a battle that would have crippled them both. The price he paid - his humanity, his sanity.

Because after tearing down the pillar for his redemption, everything fell into an abyss of chaos. And she - this Sakura that is neither real nor fake, is asking him the question that has been plaguing his latest nightmares: _will you do it again?_

"...No."

* * *

"We need to find this place," Sakura insists heatedly, even though her head feels dizzy and her legs aren't wobbling merely because of sheer willpower. "This is the only chance I have."

Her eyes run over the worried and tired faces of her companions - a cripple, a kid, a rat and Tenten. Shibuki earned himself enough respect during the fight against Bakunawa to gather a group of followers. He promised them a home, if they helped to fight for Takigakure. Some are fueled by a desire of revenge against the man who robbed them of their homes; some merely want a place to live, better than the moving camps of Water.

With their help or distraction, it would be possible for Sakura and her small team to infiltrate the Land of Fire - and from there on, reach the Shikkotsu Forest. She knows very well that, without her Yin Seal, there is no way in hell she could even survive a confrontation against Sasuke. Regardless of the intentions he expressed, there _is_ a bottom line in terms of the amount of power that she needs, just to survive. And right now, Sakura isn't even close to reaching it.

"Do you know where it is?" Tenten inquires pragmatically, unrolling a map and setting it down on the table. Sakura smiles slightly, grateful for the simply given support of the brunette, and then furrows her brows, thoughtful.

The tent they are in, near the ruins that used to be Kikai, offers very little protection to spying ears - but there isn't anywhere better. Not anymore. Still, she looks around and ensures that there is no one nearby.

"No." Sakura steels herself for spitting out the words - it still feels shameful to say it aloud, like admitting to some crippling weakness. "But Tsunade-sama does." Tenten raises an eyebrow, but objects nothing. The pinkette sighs, feeling tiredness under every inch of her skin. "I know it's bizarre, but… I can see them, okay? I can even prove it-"

Tenten raises a hand in a 'stop' motion, her expression softening ever so slightly.

"None of us doubt you, Sakura," she intervenes, purposely dropping the honorific. "Show the way."

A wave of fuzzy heat runs from her heart and throughout her body - the pinkette nods a bit too quickly and averts her gaze, looking down at the map. _I'm not alone_. A fiery determination wells up in her chest, her objective clearer than ever and her resolve hard.

* * *

"This kid is a genius of memorisation, can't you tell?"

Sasuke's eyes meet the fake Sakura's gaze - there is something burning behind those irises, but he can't tell what. In the courtyard, Hanabi chatters on and on with one of his hostages. The Uchiha can't name the feeling that drove him to bringing the kid closer. It's something he cannot pinpoint accurately - a thing that has always been annoying to experience.

"He is only here as an incentive," he repeats. "If she doesn't do anything soon, it will be a good way to put pressure on her."

Soma, a child from Yugakure - kidnapped in a bout of insanity. Sasuke did know, however, that he was important to Sakura. _Debt_ is a double-edged sword. Somehow, he _knew_ that two of these children played one of the most important roles in saving her… from him, from Yugakure. As much as he wanted to kill them, he chose instead to abduct them. He owes them more than they could ever imagine.

Along the edges of his conscious thoughts trail memories of an old shelter, and small joys and an anchor to sanity brought by their presence. He was not there - he knows the memories aren't his, but they belong to a part of him. And he can understand what Sakura _didn't_ , and even confirmed it by asking the kids' parents. Their answers brought their own deaths.

"He would be a good weapon," she replies, getting him out of his thoughts. "I wonder how much damage you could do, just to prove who you are."

Sasuke grits his teeth - even if she got her point across, the clone still hates his guts.

He does wonder, however, if Sakura _understands_. Probably not. Beside him, though he can't see her, the clone grins. _That, too, would be a good motivation_.

* * *

Run - but she can't escape. Ever so close, the dark shadow closes in; the voices of the dead herd her towards her downfall, but there is no way for her to get past the black flames and the blood. She can feel it: the breath down her neck, the presence that never leaves her and is slowly catching up. The whispers of her hunter's poisonous voice, promising a hell of pain.

There is no exit, only endless, chaotic forest. Sooner or later, he'll get her, and then-

A sound slap wakes her up, and Sakura immediately recoils and jumps back, away from danger. Too terrified to scream. He found her, it's game over… Instead of red and violet eyes, however, there is only a rat. Maru's weight disappears from her bedroll, and she finds herself gasping for breath, as if she had just run a marathon.

"You're welcome, ah," he comments. The sun is rising, she can tell by the glimmer drawn on the fog around them. Today will be the day for departure, for coming back _home_ even if she can't call it like that anymore. Still, her thoughts race with panic, and it takes a few minutes for Sakura to make her breath steady once more.

Unable to go back to sleep, she gets up and lets her steps take her through the wasteland where she fought two days ago. Her thoughts are on Katsuyu, on Konoha, on Sasuke - if the slugs can't help with her seal, then there really is no hope.

' _I can't let myself think like that,_ ' she reminds herself. ' _I have to focus on getting there, and if they can't help… I'll plan something. I can't give up_.'

"I wonder if you've ever asked yourself why," comments Maru. She hadn't seen or heard him, causing Sakura to almost let out a yelp. The pinkette looks down at the ground, still covered in crystal ice that doesn't melt. As if he hadn't noticed her momentary distress, the rat merely waits.

"Why, what?" she retorts. It has been a while since she talked with him - though these talks mostly include well-placed questions and some jabs at her thoughts and logic. And no matter what, Maru's mind seems to advance in jumps that make her feel confused half of the time.

"This love you seem to hold so highly, for a man willing to destroy everything else you love, ah," the rat replies, huffing. There is a more pronounced note of annoyance in his voice, and she wonders if he could be genuinely upset. He didn't seem to overly care about anything before. "Down to his own soul and yours, I must add."

_Why is he so bitter out of the blue?_

"He is important to me," Sakura replies, defensive. She never took well to anyone challenging her feelings. Towards anyone, really, but Sasuke in particular. Maru snorts. "I like him, okay? He's not… I wish- I know he's not particularly warm, you know? But he's someone I admire."

* * *

"I do wonder why," she adds, leaning against the railing casually. Her image reflects each one of the wounds that he inflicted on her, so long ago. She never stops bleeding, and all she touches becomes damp with her blood. He remembers being covered in blood, before, but it wasn't- he wasn't the one to cause it. "It would have been so easy, and you would have saved yourself this headache."

"I didn't need to kill her," he grunts out - and it's true. In the grand scale of things, while her strength was fearsome, it wouldn't have been enough to stop him. The positions of Kages and other powerful people were the ones that needed to be cleared. Naruto, unfortunately, had become strong enough to count as an obstacle.

But Sakura hadn't.

"But you _should have_ , especially when you became aware of the power she holds over you," the doppelgänger retorts. "Yet you didn't. Even then, you didn't ensure her death. You didn't have the _guts_ to finish it."

 _Does she want me to try to kill her?_ Sasuke narrows his eyes dangerously, but she won't back down. No, the clone isn't going to stop until she gets him to accept what she wants, by whatever means possible.

"If you weren't so obtuse, I wouldn't have to resort to this," she comments, reading his thoughts. "But, honestly, you have the emotional awareness of a fish." And then she snickers for some dark reason, in a particular way that sends ripples of suspicion throughout his mind. "Admit it, you didn't want to. So you tried to tear her apart and leave her to die on her own."

A glimpse of _her_ \- bleeding out in a blazing battlefield, surrounded by hundreds of maimed bodies, curled up at his feet. And still fighting, even though it was a losing battle against death. He was sure she would die, and also certain that he couldn't stay, because he himself was on the threshold of death. His whole body was in pain, on the edge of collapsing; no one would be there to help. He had killed them all…

"I pity her," he finally admits. Silly girl, chasing after impossible dreams. So willing to put herself in danger, only second in recklessness to Naruto. Yet she didn't have what he did - the burning willpower to plow through any and all challenges. She was never like that. "She was never a challenge."

* * *

"You had a silly fangirl crush, ah, and obsessed over it until it was all you could think about." The rat's words strike a nerve, though she pretends to be ignoring him entirely. "You were willing to sell anything and anyone, just to get his attention, ah. Would you still call it love?"

She wants to ignore it, mark his words as anything but the truth - only mockeries designed to piss her off. But she can't, because he has a point. She knows the rat never does anything without reason. Maru continues his spiel relentlessly, and her mind drowns in memories of doubt and regret.

"And even now - after all he has done, all he took, you're still willing to focus your whole life around him, ah. It's pathetic!"

"SHUT UP!" she snaps, punching him in anger. He dodges, of course, but her fist sinks into the ground and causes a small crater upon impact, sending shards flying everywhere. Her knuckles bleed. "I know it was just a crush, damn it! I was just a little girl!"

Shy, willing to change for the sake of getting closer to him. Willing to be _anything_ \- even if that person was one she wouldn't be proud of. But, as long as _Sasuke_ was...

"You… you can't understand something like this," she mutters, now feeling dizzy. She hasn't recovered enough to flail around with chakra-laden punches, as small as the amount might be. "He… and even Naruto- they made me understand so much. About friends and goals, about… what to live for."

_What to die for. I was willing to sacrifice everything for them._

"Then why do you only love one of them?" he retorts, safely perched atop a crystal, glimmering with the first rays of sunlight. The nearby camp is already starting to stir with life. "Why would you choose the one filled with destructive darkness?"

 _I don't know_.

"I care about both of them… I just…" _How could someone choose who they fall in love with?_ "It's just like that, Maru! We can only decide if we act on those feelings, not who we care about!" Her breathing is ragged, her words choked - a knot tightens in her throat, because those words do hurt.

 _He never asks direct questions_. Her eyes trail over to the rat, whose dark eyes are focused solely on her. There are minute details that denote anger: a tail twitch, a forceful movement. Whatever is happening to him, it's making him lose his temper and usual stance.

"Why do you care so much about that?" she snaps - she has never been patient when it comes to arguments. The only thing keeping her from trying to punch the rat is her own tiredness. Perhaps sitting down is a good option… but she doesn't want to. Sakura won't back down, not when it's this topic.

"I just do, ah."

* * *

"You care about her! Say it out loud, you coward!" Her screams are deafening, the world becoming tainted with a red and black tint that he knows too well. The faces are distorted, but he can recognise them, everburning, screaming his name and bloody murder… The world is dissolving into a mass of bodies without skin, burnt to mere flesh; then his clan's district, under the light of a crimson moon; a never ending forest filled with shadows of horror and pain.

"I don't love her!" His voice is filled with agony, every pore of his body crawling with lightning-like energy. "No matter how much you torture me, that won't change! You're the one who has to accept it!"

And for a brief instant, the image wavers and fades slightly. Sasuke wonders if, for once, he managed to strike a chord in the doppelgänger.

"How could you know you do, if all you know about love is pain... The only person whose love you acknowledge is the one that hurt you most! If you didn't care, you wouldn't have _cared_ about killing her. Even before you killed everyone else. You had so many chances, and you never did." Her voice is a broken whisper now, but he can hear it clearly.

He wants to scream _I did_ , but he can't speak. The air constricts around his throat, choking the life out of him. It hurts so much he can barely keep his thoughts straight. His own mind is running dry of oxygen, and the world is blurring out, fading into darkness.

"I would have killed her anyways!" Breaking through, his hands clamp down on the wooden railing hard enough to crack it. He can't give up, he has to hold on- like he always has, no matter what. His resolve mustn't waver… "But there was no point! Everyone was dead…! And she- I didn't..."

_I love you, and I always will._

A rush of memories floods his mind, from the one person that was the driving force behind his actions for so long. Itachi _had to_ kill him - yet he didn't. Itachi _should have_ killed him - but he couldn't. No matter how troublesome it became, no matter how much he had to hurt Sasuke in exchange…

"Everything you did was to convince yourself you didn't care… but you had already sinned in your ninja way, dear."

* * *

Maru is gone - she doesn't know where he went. He merely vanished, and behind he left a deafening silence, filled with painful questions and shameful thoughts. _When did the sun go down?_

"It never did," she realises, mumbling. Sakura stumbles, walking backward towards where the camp should be, but everything is quiet. The fog closes in around her, pulsating like a wicked and dark heart. A shadow walks- crawls through the field of shards, moving with motions that are impossible and wrong.

She has seen it before, twisting the bodies of her illusions and crawling on the buildings of Engetsu. An illusion with shimmering edges, blurry blackness that speaks of chaos. It approaches her with jerky motions that just feel _wrong_ , and finally stands before her quietly. From this close, she can identify her - the other, fake Sakura.

"Missed me?" the clone inquires, her smile reflecting no warmth at all. Sakura quietly takes note of her inventory of weapons and possible escape routes. Even if the camp isn't visible, she still remembers its general position. If it's a genjutsu of some sort (something she wouldn't put past the rat), she will break out of it, eventually. "You're still very rude, you know."

Those eyes are positively predatory, sending alarms of danger throughout her whole body. The illusion is examining her, and Sakura can't help but feel like she can see much deeper than mere sight…

"I didn't," she replies, her feet slipping into a stance that should let her jump or dash away in an instant. The clone frowns, but there is a glimmer of amusement in her eyes.

"You should be grateful. You're only alive because of me," she pouts, but her own stance is aggressive. She is ready to jump, like a coiled spring, and Sakura doesn't have to guess too hard to know what she would lunge at.

"I don't see how trying to drive Sasuke further into insanity is going to help," Sakura spits out, finding courage in her anger. What a strange thing - that it still pisses her off, after all that happened. She figures that it's because of her care.

"Are _you_ insane?" the clone retorts, faking disbelief. "You would be dead if not for me. Or better, locked up inside a dungeon for the rest of your life, for who knows what." Sakura's eyes widen minutely, but horror is soon pushed away by realisation: she has heard this same thing before.

"...You're…" she mumbles, dumbstruck. Her confirmation is a hungry grin growing on the lips of the other one - Sachi.

"Not exactly. Same concept, different minds." The doppelgänger jumps into lecture mode, and it's so achingly familiar that it makes her nauseous. "You're going to ask me, so here's the thing: you were born with a bigger soul than most. Practical applications? You had spare spiritual energy, without having to do anything to achieve it."

 _Double soul_. Sakura's mind jumps to the analysation of potential implications, and the things she finds out are disturbingly close to reality. There had to be an imbalance of energies, of course, since her physique was lagging behind even for kunoichi standards, though that could be attributed to lack of training.

Tsunade thought she was merely talented and had accumulated a greater amount spiritual energy through chakra control - yet it was always the other way around.

"Don't you ever wonder why manipulating chakra and understanding genjutsu and complex patterns is so easy? You already had to manage a greater amount of spiritual energy than most, since you were born, until it was natural to you… even if it made your body weaker, you compensated for it with your control. It was easy for you to _imagine_ how chakra moved, and of course it would obey your unusually strong will. Your greater imagination, your acute mind, your untamable attitude - it all comes from there. So do I."

 _I was born for this_ \- the path of a genius medic and poison expert. Maybe even a genjutsu prodigy. Born to lag behind in every other aspect, yet with chakra control beyond what most would ever achieve. Even her inner voice, that she always attributed to repressed thoughts...

"And tell me, what do you think would happen when your soul was _torn apart_ , yet you didn't die?"

"Souls try to survive by default, unless death is certain. I was still alive, and I hadn't given up. It would have latched to the nearest living being…" Sakura feels like at class again - her teacher wants her to answer in a particular way, in order to continue her explanation.

"I've been trying to _save you_ no matter the cost, sweetie. Both of you," the clone replies, though this time the emotion in her eyes seems genuine sadness. Sakura feels disarmed by the revelation, and forces herself to stay ready to fight, but it's hard. Sasuke… he has a piece of her soul. "But I'm under a different banner now, I'm not _you_ or yours - I'm fighting _him_ , I can't escape his influence... and I hate him almost as much as you love him. I hate _you_ as much as he does."

Two different souls cannot merge. Either they are peaceful with each other, or they are fighting constantly for domination. Yet only death or forceful, often lethal extirpation, would be capable of stopping the fight.

"Whatever you see is whatever you project from your most primal thoughts," the clone continues. "You wanted a friend… so I was your friend. He needs someone to remind him that he fucked up, and that what he does is still fucked up." She points towards her multiple bleeding wounds and tears in her clothes. "He hates himself for what he does, but who would be gutsy enough to tell him? Besides, I'm not the only soul - only the bigger one. His mind is pure chaos, and so am I."

Sakura doesn't need to be told that - she can remember his mindscape, an everburning forest and barren battlefield. Filled with screaming souls whose blood still pools on the ground.

"Why are you telling this to me now?" she inquires, only keeping her eyes from tearing up by sheer willpower. They feel wet, but she won't let any tears fall.

"Because you can't trust me. One day, I might convince him to save you or kill you. He's right on the edge..." Her eyes leave her, becoming unfocused for an instant. When they're back to Sakura's face, they are sharp and cold. Whatever moment of emotion existed a few seconds ago is gone. " _You_ have to be the one to give the final push or pull. No one else can do it for you."

"...You can't normally do this, right?" Sakura narrows her eyes, because if the clone had been able to break out on her own, it's likely that she would have appeared more often.

"Nah. He has to be tired as hell. Why do you think that sea serpent showed up, and after it went out you collapsed? I tried to reach you in Engetsu, but… that area was a bit overcharged." The doppelgänger grins, reflecting pride in something she knows is evil. "I made him do it, and made him pass out. Just like I did now. But he'll recover, and I'll have to be back."

Her image starts to become blurrier on the edges, her color fading and becoming dark smoke. Sakura bites her lip, and takes a step forward.

"Please, take care of him."

The doppelgänger raises an eyebrow, smirking.

"No promises."

* * *

"I still can't do what you- what she wants me to. I won't throw everything away for… that."

"As much as Sakura would want you to, she knows you won't. That's one of the reasons she loves you, you know."

"...But you still want something from me."

"Mere sincerity - you wouldn't even admit a basic emotion like that. You have no idea how mad it makes me."


	31. Beyond the Fire | Arc IV: Raze

_Bravery is not to walk a harsh line, but to step into the darkness._

Hinashi Hyūga - a man who has spent nearly seventy years working to build a family. Whose dreams were torn asunder by forces much greater than anything he could have anticipated; not natural, nor divine. Merely human, yet devastating, unstoppable.

He is conservative, yes; but he cares. He _cared_ so much. Stern, quiet - an everlasting presence for everyone else to fall back on. Even in the face of such destruction, he refused to let grief overwhelm him. Sasuke admits to himself that he respects that backbone of steel, even if it means that they clash more often than not.

After all, Hanabi is still his hostage. Rumors about manipulation, about dirty seals, about _control_ \- in reality, the Hokage is perfectly aware that his dominant stance is slipping. It is hard to maintain it, after all those breakdowns. Perhaps most of Konoha hasn't heard of them, but Hanabi has seen them first hand. _Suffered_ them, too... and she knows what a broken mess they leave behind.

It's impossible to keep up a façade about strength, when someone can easily see the chaotic reality daily. _Itachi was_ better _, wasn't he?_ Sasuke shakes his head minutely, as if trying to get rid of such thoughts.

"How do we know the _other_ hostages are still alive, Hokage-sama?" repeats Hinashi. Sasuke is aware that this is at least the second time the man says those words - he blanked out of the conversation. Again. _This is getting out of hand_. "There will be an uprising if there is no confirmation for their well-being."

 _Why, don't they believe in the word of their beloved leader?_ The venomous whispers echo within his skull, and Sasuke is certain he will have one of his very frequent headaches soon. It's hard to focus on a single voice… there's so many that he can hear.

He notices Hanabi squirming in her seat - he always brings her. Reasons, reasons... she is a taunt, a warning. A message that he still holds Konoha by the throat. And they can't touch him, or her. Yes. That makes sense. But why is she so uncomfortable? She rarely ever lets her cool demeanor slip, unless something is _really_ wrong.

"I have no need to show you what I've told you to be true." Sasuke forces the words out, rehearsed words coming out fluidly. Inside, everything is burning, and he is screaming. Outside, he stays still, tilting his head to the side with a hint of arrogance. "You and your people _will_ listen to me."

Hanabi positively flinches this time, when he projects a menacing aura around him. It's almost visible: darkness, rolling off of him in waves, coating his body with cold promises of death. He can feel hands grasping his skin, scratching it off, digging through flesh-

" _Sasuke-kun!_ " He falls forward, elbows slamming on the table and hands covering his bleeding eyes. The distant cries fade into nothingness - suddenly, everything is quiet. Something is itching under his skin. _Did they get underneath it…?_ Maybe they were there to begin with. Should he scratch them off? But if they're under, he's going to need-

"Hokage-sama, please stop!" A pair of hands curl around his wrist, holding back the hand that wields a kunai. Sasuke blinks; Hanabi isn't strong enough, but still surprisingly powerful for someone of her age and constitution.

His fingers close around empty space, clumsily. No blade. Only blood and skin under his nails, crimson tears dripping onto the table. Shaky, Sasuke pulls his hands away from his own face - had his eyelids not closed, he would have dug out his own eyes.

The persistent, nauseating smell of death hits his nostrils in that instant. Blood, sprayed over the table like a madman's painting. A body, slumped over on the opposite side of his. Grey hair, light clothes. A rat sensing his gaze falling on it, and scurrying away. Nothing else - only deafening silence.

"Hanabi," he calls out, dreading the worst. The walls of the room bleed with crimson and ink, melting and falling into the ground, pooling with the rest of the blood. She lets out a small 'eep!', but otherwise looks towards his general direction. "What have I been doing for the past twenty minutes?"

"...We have been here for two hours, Hokage-sama." That explains why there's a few chunks of flesh missing, on that corpse... Hanabi remains silent for an extensive amount of time, and refuses to meet his gaze when he looks down at her, sitting beside him. She continues: "you talked, as if there was someone else here."

Sasuke won't question why she merely obeyed - it has been instilled into every fiber of her bones. Fear and respect for authority are too strong, even when it's obvious that she can barely keep herself from throwing up.

"Let's go home. I've seen enough." _And so have you_. But he doesn't say that.

Hanabi nods, and follows him on the way out. She doesn't say how did the man die - he already knows _who_ killed him. Hanabi doesn't want to describe it. But he can't remember when did it happen… Sasuke knows he was here for a reason - discussing something about hostages, perhaps? And in the lapse between his two moments of awareness, Hinashi died.

In a strange way, only she knows what happened. _Which 'she'?_

There is no one outside. Many people fled Konoha… though he isn't sure if that is only because they avoid him. Have they been escaping, or are they simply out of plain view? Both, yeah. Many buildings look rundown, almost abandoned, but his most gifted eye can detect the presences, hiding somewhere inside or far from him. The village is slowly falling to decay, its former glory gone.

Sasuke knows that he has lost a great deal of his forces. Fear eventually drove many of the shinobi to escape or mutiny; without them to keep guard, the civilians soon followed. Only those foolishly loyal to the Will of Fire, or incapable of running away remain. Konoha was close, so close, to becoming a dominating force in the Elemental Nations… but all of that vanished in smoke. The Uchiha knows - the control slipped between his fingers.

After all, if he was unable to keep a hold of his own mind, how would he be able to dominate half a continent? In the end, it wasn't important… if any problem arises, he can take care of it personally. He still has Sound firmly within his hold. Yes, if needed be, they can provide assistance with Konoha.

Most of the strongest remainders of Konoha's forces are those whose children he took away. It was a solid plan, definitely. If he could find a way to instill that same fear into the others, enough to force them into submission but without driving them away…

He wonders if Hanabi is still alive. If any of those people are still alive… if it's real at all. He can't tell anymore. Even if they are, one day he could wake up and all of it would be gone. The doppelgänger takes turns in steering him towards a definite goal and trying to shatter every single one of his achievements.

How could he know, separate real from fake, both in goals and current situation?

 _You can't_.

"Thank you," he mutters, overly aware that this is something he is saying out of desperation. Because he could wake up and Hanabi could be gone forever. Some small, frightened part of him, has decided that it's worth mentioning, if only because it could already be too late. And if it is, it won't matter anyway.

She doesn't say anything, merely nodding with a hint of a blush on her cheeks. That's how he knows that it's the real her - none of the illusions are perfect. This has to be her. Sasuke nearly sighs with relief, his concerns over voicing words in such a foreign manner, forgotten.

_For once, it wasn't too late._

* * *

Sakura glances down at her scribbled scroll, and then up at the giant slug staring down at her with six curious eyes. Her eyes switch from place to place a few more times, until the pinkette finally shakes her head.

"Nope, but almost," she determines, bowing slightly to the slug and then finding her way around it. The creature's feelers twitch minimally, and it actually lowers its head slightly, as if it had given its own bow. It's taller than two men, reddish and covered with squishy spikes. The forest around them is filled with all sorts of life, the chants of chirping birds and bizarre, unidentifiable creatures mixing as if they fit perfectly together.

The Shikkotsu Forest, Sakura knows, is somewhere beyond the western edges of the Fire Country. Takigakure is the closest village to it, and it would still take many days to reach it… _if_ she even knew the correct path. Her small group, sans Maru, has been travelling inward the Country for about a week - it would have taken much shorter if they could have cut straight through Konoha, but that's simply not a risk they can afford.

She has heard the news of an alliance with Sound and the Kazekage, which effectively draws a barrier between her and the other side of the continent. Although she doesn't want to go anywhere near Oto, there is a lot more cover on the northern side of Konoha. Sound ninja could still have techniques to localise them through the air, but it's better than the open ground of the desert.

There are strange creatures lurking in the deep forests, some of them unheard of for centuries - and Sakura knows that among those are slugs that come from Shikkotsu. Walking up to each type of slug and trying to communicate with the sentient ones has proven to be a hazardous task… sometimes, a disgusting one. Some of those things prey on humans, but thankfully, the majority are merely creatures without intelligence.

"We should regroup," mentions Tenten, taking her out of her ruminations about the hundreds of different types of slugs. The brunette has learned to speak in a low voice, with few words, that is however quite easy to identify and understand. And she has a point, too - Shibuki and his reconnaissance group should be nearing Takigakure by now.

Sakura nods, knowing that they are still a few hours away from them. The plan was to sneak small groups of people through different routes, close enough to send messages, but not cause alarm on the patrols. As they found out, there are many people wandering between whatever is left of the major villages. There is barely any control, except in Iwagakure, and no one paid attention to a few more groups of refugees.

No information on Konoha, either. There is simply a void of information surrounding the village, and she can't help but wonder… if somehow, despite everything, they are alright.

The pinkette shakes her head vigorously, frowning. It's of no use to worry.

_I can't do anything about it. Not yet._

* * *

"Kurenai-sensei!" Lee's enthusiastic, one-armed waving and words bring the attention of the rest of his group. Sakura tears her gaze away from the floor and turns it towards him, and then follows his eyes towards the black-haired woman. It's definitely her, creepy red eyes and pretty figure exuding a tired, yet firm aura.

She has already seen a few recognisable people from the Alliance, but findin someone who was _back home_ and has probably seen so much more… it sends her heart into a crazy race. Kurenai's eyes narrow when she looks them over, but recognition is nearly immediate; between Lee's _unusual_ appearance and Sakura's own strange hair, it only takes a second for the woman to put names on their faces.

An early teenager looks at them with far more bravado and defiance; Sakura recognises Konohamaru, holding up a small toddler. Kurenai had to be haggling for food, as she steps away from an aggravated stall owner to greet them properly. The crowded streets of Takigakure are full of strangers, which makes the pinkette be constantly on edge, but Shibuki has already determined that they're somewhat _safe_ for now. Just remain inconspicuous, he said, and they'll be fine.

Within minutes it's obvious that they won't be able to properly catch up if they remain here, so they make their way through the streets and far from the most frequented places. They stop near the quieter forest, sitting down on a cramped pair of wooden benches and resuming their talk.

Two hours pass, filled with all sorts of emotions and much more pain than either side would like to admit.

"Sasuke Uchiha went crazy," Kurenai states flatly, holding Mirai close to her and setting her eyes on Lee, only for a brief moment. "But that's not news to you. We only heard what happened during the war. I've assumed for the longest time that Asuma's students are dead," she adds, her words resigned yet still heavy.

Hope is not a liberating thing to carry in one's heart, and most don't even dare to allow it in their souls. Sakura shakes her head minutely, considering that she's the best suited for a response.

"I don't know about Shikamaru and Chōji, but Ino is dead." Sakura lowers her gaze, remembering her best friend's voice, echoing in her head. _Don't mourn the dead, cherish your memories with us when we were alive_. _This is war - you can't let yourself fall down, or we'll be lost forever_.

"We lost Shikamaru near Engetsu," Lee admits, after exchanging a glance with Tenten. He seems to be getting better at reading what she has to say, but can't articulate without effort. "He helped us stall, but it took a big toll on him…"

He trails off, and no one bothers to ask him to continue. There is nothing else to be said. Kurenai sighs, nodding to herself as if this was something she had prepared herself for, for a very long time. _She knew they were dead_. But she still hoped… Sakura feels a rising surge of respect for the genjutsu mistress, for having the strength to do that. Konohamaru, on his part, refuses to go away from the discussion - even if he is still a _brat_ , there is a flintier look in his eyes.

"It's good to see not everything is lost," says Kurenai, looking them over with a mix of fondness and sorrow. Only Lee has enough vivacity to respond to her with one of his too-bright smiles. The woman admittedly smiles a little at his antics, and then nods again. "We fled Konoha a month ago, after Sound ninja started to become part of the patrols. Those people are more danger than help."

"Sound shinobi, in Konoha?" Sakura shakes her head, as if that could erase her astonished disbelief. "What happened to our forces?" _Did he kill them too? Were they too rebellious… or just in the way?_

"They escaped, too. No one wants to be subjected to the whims of a madman." Kurenai sits a bit straighter, as if readying herself to do something difficult. "There was a lot of opposition, and eventually, our people cracked under the pressure… Once they saw that, no matter what they did, their families wouldn't be safe."

And then she proceeds to tell a story that sounds more like a horror tale: the Hokage subjugated everyone with raw power and fear. When that wasn't enough, he started taking hostages. Children, most of them; but some of the leaders of the opposition disappeared without leaving anything behind.

"He lost himself to insanity," Kurenai continues. "Talking to himself, suddenly flaring killing intent and a dark, tainted aura… He started lashing out at those unfortunate enough to importunate him in the wrong moment. Screaming day and night, always out of sight; no one saw anything, because no one ever survived it. By the time I left, there were nasty rumors about what he was doing to those children."

' _They see him as nothing better than Orochimaru,_ ' Sakura realises, understanding. Allied with Sound, and known as the apprentice of the Sannin himself. ' _A madman corrupted by all the power he holds…_ '

In a flash, she remembers the glance he gave her before leaving Sakura in the joint mindscape. He didn't turn around, but their eyes met for a brief moment. It wasn't a gelid gaze, or one filled with insanity. He almost looked… _normal_.

"I don't think the rumors are true," Sakura intervenes, not looking at anyone in particular. "If he said he's holding them hostage as a method of control, then there's nothing else to it. He probably wanted to cause this fear in the population to begin with. Wouldn't have to lift a finger."

She knows there are four pairs of eyes settled on her face, but the pinkette forces herself to focus solely on Kurenai's, whose eyelids are dangerously narrowed. _Who are you to defend him?_ Sakura wants to say that she knows very well what is going on within his mind, but that isn't exactly accurate. Yet she is certain that she knows more than most. She has even _seen_ some of the things Kurenai is talking about!

 _Why am I on his side?_ Sakura nearly slaps a hand over her own mouth, realising that once more, she has jumped straight into Sasuke's defense without considering anything else. Such stupid, reckless behavior… Kurenai's anger fades after a few moments, however, but she is still frowning slightly.

"I see some things haven't changed," she mutters.

Sakura wants to say that _they have_ \- because if everything was like before, she probably wouldn't be able to think about Sasuke at all. Just like it was in the weeks after the massacre. There is nothing else she can say, though; the idea of defending him any further makes her feel sick, even though it doesn't feel _wrong_. Either way, the pinkette wouldn't be able to bring up any more arguments without detailing their connection.

And she can't see how explaining _that_ to anyone can bring anything good. Lee and Tenten share a glance with her, because to some extent they know about the Ningyo, but Sakura merely shakes her head slightly.

"It doesn't matter. We're going to fight him." Those words seem to draw a better reaction out of Kurenai and Konohamaru: surprise and, in the latter's case, a fierce look that promises all sorts of problems to his enemies. "He must pay for his crimes… and we can't let him destroy our home," she adds, feeling a surge of courage mixed with sudden nervousness. She hadn't intended for it to sound so ominous! But she will take the chance to make it sound like a true, motivational speech. "We are heading this way in search of the Shikkotsu Forest, where I should be able to get help from my slug summon, Katsuyu."

"You're not planning on fighting him head-on, are you?" Kurenai inquires, disbelief plastered all over her face. And maybe a slight bit of awe. All those months of desperation must have taken away the spark of hope, for her to feel amazed by such foolish words.

"We are," insists Tenten, distractedly rubbing her throat as a matter of habit. "Us, and anyone else willing to join us."

"It's likely that no one will be able to fight him toe to toe, but… together, we are more brains, more chakra and more skill," Sakura continues. "Many people are afraid or traumatised, but some are burning with determination, revenge, courage. We can use some of that, and build another army."

She knows what everyone is thinking: the old Alliance wasn't able to put a stop to Sasuke. Thousands died in the original fights, and most of the few survivors were killed by him. Most of the masters of the shinobi arts are missing or dead. There is barely any organisation among whatever is left of the ninja world.

They were exhausted, however. Caught by surprise, panicking amid the chaos that his sudden attack caused. Perhaps, with a plan, they will be able to put a stop to him. He _has_ to be stopped, no matter the cost...

"I don't want to live in a world where he is the Hokage," Sakura mutters, hands curling to form tight fists. "I can't rest as long as he is ruling over us. And if it costs me my life, so be it. He took away everything else - I have nothing besides this wish."

All eyes set on her, Sakura feels the weight within her very soul. It would be an insult to the honor of the dead, to do nothing. To the memory of a Sasuke that once lived outside the darkness. For _them_ , she has to at least try, no matter how impossible it seems. Within her mind, she can feel a slight tug - Naruto, cheering her on. She knows this is the right thing to do.

"...I guess some things did change after all," Kurenai admits, smirking despite herself. "I'm a capable fighter, but I'm afraid I have to take care of my daughter. However, you can count on me if you ever need any help with genjutsu. I'll do whatever I can to fight for the Leaf."

"Hell yeah!" Konohamaru hollers, jumping up on the bench and raising a fist up. "Just tell me whose ass I have to kick!" Sighing, Kurenai hits the back of his knees, sending him to the ground face-first. She grabs the back of his collar and pulls him back down on his seat, disapproval nailing him down in place before he can complain. "You're worse than Ebisu!" he grumbles.

For a moment, Sakura wonders where Ebisu-sensei is. She decides that she doesn't want to know.

* * *

Sunset is near when the large form of Isobu appears within a lake near Takigakure - Shibuki stands guard, alongside a plethora of sealing masters and an old, grumpy Sage. Just far enough that the beast won't be able to directly attack the village, if something goes wrong.

Sakura can almost _feel_ their fear in the air, and wonders if Isobu can do so, too. She sits at the shore, next to Tenten, who is ready to use her Sacred Treasure to seal the Three-Tails again if it goes crazy. It certainly wouldn't surprise anyone, but the pinkette is hoping for the best, even if they're ready for the worst.

' _Considering how fast time passes for you, I had started to believe you had forgotten about me,_ ' the great voice comments, almost with a hint of amusement. Sakura can feel the _presence_ expanding through the water, using the bleeding chakra as a medium for transmission.

It is much more gentle than it was the first time, but it still makes her feel slightly asphyxiated, in a way that is half spiritual and half physical. The Ningyo's lines become pure black against her skin.

"Thank you," she whispers, having feared that it would be as bad as last time.

Is that a _chuckle_?

' _Just because we are ancient and enormous compared to you, it doesn't mean we can't be delicate too._ ' Something about the way Isobu speaks gives her the impression of a shy personality, one that definitely wouldn't mind _talking_ , if only it weren't something so rare for the Three-Tails. Almost… careful, which is an odd vibe to receive from a Tailed Beast.

"This is… weird," she admits, grinning despite herself. Though, after the things she witnessed during the war, this is probably among the most mild of bizarre situations to be in.

' _Those people are going to patch you up,_ ' Tenten intervenes, her voice surprising Sakura ever so slightly. It makes sense that they are connected in some way, though. ' _Don't worry,_ ' she adds as an afterthought, and Sakura can just feel the way she frowns, as if she knew how weird her choice of words is for the situation.

The sun has fallen past the horizon by the time the procedure is done. It takes complicated chakra work to seal the fissures in Isobu's network, but a mix of natural energy and fūinjutsu manage to do the work after many long hours of labor.

Sakura is surprised to notice that Isobu is even _nervous_ about the whole thing - probably aware of the vulnerable position 'he' has in the hands of the humans, and still not very sure about trusting them. Scared, maybe.

' _The creature that attacked me punctured my chakra reserves, severed the unions..._ ' the Three-Tails describes, accompanying the words with a complicated image of the many connections that compose its body and mind. ' _It is older than even I or the rest of my kin, and never had we been threatened with true death before. I could feel… my consciousness, fading._ '

A tinge of sympathy makes Sakura's heart ache - after millennia of being a constant existing presence, whether it was coalesced or not, the thought of losing awareness must have been terrifying. She purses her lips, trying to suppress any leaking of her own emotions, but it's not worth much.

' _You shouldn't feel ashamed,_ ' Isobu comments, making her feel a faint blush in her cheeks. ' _I can sense every molecule of your body, every spark of chakra that your spirit emits._ _And I don't think it's something to be ashamed of._ '

Sakura uselessly tries to hide _somewhere_ , flinching noticeably. Tenten lets out a chuckle, feeling her distress quite clearly. The blush is spreading, she can feel that much by the tingling heat emitted by every pore of her face and neck. The cool water does nothing to help with it.

Thankfully, the moment is over quickly - Isobu's chakra system has finally been re-wired. The pinkette wonders how does it feel, to have one's own spiritual network invaded in such a personal way…

' _I will remember you and what you did for me, Sakura, Tenten._ ' Isobu doesn't spend much more time in a farewell, retracting the majority of his chakra awareness and sinking deeper into the dark dark waters. Everyone holds their breath, wondering if the Three-Tails will lash out in the last second.

However, Isobu's form merely vanishes through an underwater portal, leaving a quiet lake behind.


	32. Mirrors of Madness | Arc IV: Raze

_Keep talking to the void, and one day it will talk back._

There are two things in life that Sakura Haruno would never do: betray her friends, and dye her hair. Despite the comments of ignorant people, it _is_ natural and she is very much proud of it. So what if it's so bright it's almost painful, or annoying to combine with her clothes. This may or may not be the reason that, when Shibuki suggests camouflaging it in order to strike down the Sound ninja coming to retake Takigakure, she pouts and protests loudly.

She can almost hear a nagging voice, saying _That hair of yours is like a beacon in the darkness, ah_. But she doesn't, because Maru isn't there anymore. No one knows where he went. Maybe, just maybe, she worries a little bit too much - he can take care of himself. His parting words, however, are stuck in her mind. She hadn't realised how much of an anchor for her thoughts the rat was, until he was gone.

 _I just do, ah_. And even then, he must have been preparing some sort of jutsu, because he was glimmering under the bleak light of the morning sun. He just… _disappeared_.

"Sakura, are you alright?" inquires Shibuki. The girl in question jumps a little, looking at him as if she had been caught doing something naughty. Right, she might have zoned out a little bit too much. A sour expression draws its heavy lines on her face, and she nods, but it's a forced gesture and they both know it.

They have been sitting in his temporary office. Retaking Takigakure, isolated and barely defended, was easy. Preparing for the counter-attack will not be. Though it's now known that Konoha has lost the majority of its forces, there is still Otogakure and Sasuke Uchiha himself to deal with. Someone capable of obliterating entire nations could be at their doorstep in matter of days. Shibuki hasn't slept too much, dark rings under his eyes and tiredness lacing each word; however, he holds his composure as if this was just another day.

"I was just thinking about, uh… a friend," she stammers out, looking at him with a guilt-filled gaze. _Don't ask more, don't ask more_ \- he doesn't seem to get the message. "I haven't seen Maru in a while."

Sakura can read some untold story in the way Shibuki frowns, as if he too was remembering something sour. He seems to forget what he was questioning for a few seconds, and then blinks when she smirks at him.

"...I guess we're even now," he grumbles, turning his gaze away. "I don't trust anyone who uses strange chakra too much. They're usually more trouble than they're worth." She raises an eyebrow, but Shibuki just shakes his head. "Dye," he reminds her, a stern expression coating whatever was troubling him before.

"But I want Sasuke to know I'm not hiding!" Sakura protests, deciding to let it slip. For a moment, she feels a little bit too much like Naruto, and winces ever so slightly. _Maybe making myself annoying isn't a smart idea_.

" _Away_ from my village, then," Shibuki retorts, unflappable. The man must have an unending amount of patience. "It wouldn't help us if he came looking for you."

"...That's it!" Sakura watches Shibuki blink, knowing that his mind must be working at top speed to figure out what she is thinking. _I wonder who made him be aware of that kind of stuff_. "Kurenai-sensei can help with this. We could cast a genjutsu away from here, to draw his attention there, and find a way to make the news get to Sasuke. Make him think I'm somewhere else."

There is a calculating look in Shibuki's eyes, as he seems to consider the idea seriously. It wouldn't be hard to set up something like that… Sakura's appearance is very characteristic. A few details here and there, and it might be believable. She wants to pat herself in the back, at least until he speaks.

"How do you know he would prioritise you over this village?" There it is - the small hint of suspicion that has been dripping into the male shinobi's voice every time they speak. He has noticed; that she knows too much, that she talks about Sasuke _almost as if she knew him_. Something is off, and he doesn't need to be a genius to be able to sense that.

"He chased me all the way to Shimogakure, I assume when he heard the rumors of my presence there," she replies, flippantly brushing off his concern with a dismissive wave of her hand. For maximum effect, Sakura leans forward conspiratorially, before delivering the statement to cement her response. "He's crazy. Even if he doesn't go there to catch me, it will surely distract him. Trust me on that."

Shibuki blinks once, twice, and then sighs in defeat. Her response leaves out a lot of details and sounds suspiciously like it's filled with bullshit, but he isn't going to get out anything else. It might bother him, but he won't push it.

"Your idea is good. We could cast genjutsu on the attacking forces… make them believe we have more people," he offers, though it sounds like he's talking to himself. He does that a lot now, she notices. "We have a strategically advantageous position here… with our Water techniques, we could disrupt their tricks using vibrations."

He's about to go off on a tangent, though thankfully he remembers to dismiss her before ranting away ideas and strategies. Sakura wonders if he feels lonely, and then nods, gets up and leaves to meet her small group. It's not necessary that they stick together, not anymore, but they still do. Tenten seemed almost giddy at the idea of being able to buy and barter for proper weapons and seals. That girl gets as excited for pointy objects as Sakura does for pretty clothes.

"You've been acting weird, miss-nin." The voice startles her, because she didn't expect Misho to be behind her. He has gotten very good at hiding the little chakra he has (something that, she suspects, Maru taught him), to the point of being able to surprise people. She turns around with a sheepish smile, but the kid is frowning.

It's summer - she has known him almost for a year. And he has grown. He is still scrawny and in the appropriate age to be called a brat, but he has been through a lot. In fact, he has been beside her for the vast majority of her time after the war. And yet she still sees the same scaredy, easily excited and kind child as before. A painful twinge makes her heart flutter - if anything, she wants to protect him.

"Have I?" she asks casually, stepping toward him, mentally calculating if she can catch up to Tenten and Lee in time for lunch. It isn't hard to find them - there is always a circle of surprised bystanders around the latter, and the brunette doesn't stay far away from him. They only had each other for a long time, and even now she can't imagine what it's like to have only another person from home to hang onto.

 _You forget that they're both very tenacious_. Tenten is stoic, Lee is… Lee. Sakura can't imagine anything bringing those two down, short of death.

"Yep, you've been quiet," Misho responds, falling into step next to her with ease brought through practice. Sakura frowns, something she feels she has been doing a lot more lately, but the kid might be right. He is a lot more attentive than one would give him credit for. "Is it because of Maru?" ...Though maybe, somehow, he is still naïve enough to use the wrong reasoning, even if his assumptions are correct.

"A little," Sakura admits, but that's not even close to being the full truth. She weighs the options in her mind, and after careful deliberation decides that it's time to have this conversation. "I've told you about Sasuke Uchiha in the past, no?" Misho nods, and perks up in an almost unnoticeable manner.

Sakura remembers her breakdown when they met - how she tried to explain, and couldn't. Afterwards, she decided it would be a good idea to keep those things to herself. No person, even less a civilian child, should know about the horrors she had to endure. It was hard to think about it without breaking down - and Misho and Soma didn't ask. Belatedly, she realises that she only knew the latter for maybe a week before things went south, yet her memory is still fresh and clear.

She wonders where he is now, what did Sasuke do to him… and if maybe, just maybe, Misho thinks about it as much as she does. She hadn't thought about it - to the kid, the last Uchiha is the man who stole his family and his brother. But he hasn't said a word…

"I apologise for keeping this away from you, but it felt necessary," she commences, as a preface. "I've told you Sasuke Uchiha was my teammate, one of my first real… friends." Through memories of fire and pain, there's still remembrance of distant times - they worked together, and saved each other multiple times. He _was_ a friend she could trust with her life. _And now, would I trust his word?_ "But people sometimes… suffer so much, that they go crazy."

She doesn't know how to continue, instead deciding to ditch meeting the rest of the group and finding a solitary bench to have this conversation.

"Like you?" Sakura nearly chokes on her own spit, visibly stumbling a little, at the seemingly innocent question.

"Not in the same way, no," she denies, shaking her head for emphasis. Once they're out of the building, she picks one of the emptier alleys of Takigakure and heads straight towards the outside. It shouldn't be hard to get away from people, and right now she needs as much strength as she can get for keeping herself together. "His older brother murdered his family when he was a kid."

The words come out a bit faster than she would have wished, too dry to soften the blow of the revelation, and this time Misho visibly pales. The idea of something like that is beyond his league of 'evil', but she merely shakes her head sadly.

"He had to, but… Itachi- well, he couldn't kill Sasuke. Itachi loved him too much to do that." Sakura hopes that this will help with the visible shock that Misho is experiencing, and considers asking him if he wants to stop the conversation now. However, after a few steadying breaths, the kid nods and looks up at her expectantly. "You could say… Sasuke had the same problem."

 _Now isn't that self-righteous_.

"He left us when he was a little bit older than you, and eventually… everything caught up to him. He broke. Until recently, I thought… he hated us, or well, me." _He does_. She has to remind herself of that - she is an obstacle in Sasuke's way, one he can't get rid of with sheer power. "But he doesn't. I learned that he had a lot of chances to kill me, and he didn't."

It has been keeping her up at night - he obviously wants to destroy her. That's his modus operandi, that's what he did to Naruto and the Hokages. The Alliance was collateral damage - after all, killing his best friend broke his mind. What possessed him that day, she doesn't know. Perhaps his hatred, coalescing into vicious killing intent that flared out of control and drove his soul into darkness and chaos.

 _But he didn't_. He could have killed her then, and she thought the brutality came out of hatred for her person, yet now she knows that part of it was because he was, pardon the expression, tiptoeing around the idea. The existence of the Ningyo proves it - it kept her alive and somewhat whole, in a situation in which she _should_ have died, even though that should have been the intention of the jutsu to begin with. He tried to kill her, and he _couldn't_.

Again and again, he had chances - in Shimo, in Nezumi's cave, in their joint mindscape. By now he has to be aware of what the Ningyo does to her, and he hasn't used it against her either. It doesn't make sense, and the only person she would discuss this with is dead. Ino… what kinds of crazy theories would she suggest? Is she aware?

"...I really can't stop thinking about it," Sakura admits, rubbing the back of her head, though it's a gesture with more stress than sheepishness. "I don't know why he hasn't killed me, and not knowing that is anything but reassuring."

"Maybe he still has that problem."

_Akasuna no Sasori._

"What did you say?" Sakura sputters, light flashing before her eyes and blurring out her surroundings. She feels dizzy, and there is a pulsating sensation trickling underneath her skin. What is happening to the Ningyo?

It feels as if she was looking through a curtain of water, but she can see her surroundings after a few seconds - and they've changed. Stone replaces trees, darkness engulfing the sunlight.

_A moment's hesitation…_

"Itachi?" Where is his voice coming from? It seems to echo around her, but she can't pinpoint where. Her eyes focus on a strangely shiny patch of red, past the water - she recognises it.

" _But… somehow, he couldn't avoid it._ " The distant words replay in her head, as if they belonged to a reality very far in space and time. Ripples break the image, and she finds herself blinking under summer's midday sun. Takigakure. There are tears in her eyes, an overwhelming rush of memories and emotions flooding her awareness.

It's a miracle she hasn't fallen over, because her whole body feels weak and numb under the pressure of the Ningyo. Misho looks at her quietly - how long has it been?

"Only a few seconds, miss-nin," he says, knowing that she will ask and fret over it. "What did you see?"

"...I remembered someone I fought, a long time ago," Sakura chokes out, feeling a knot in her throat. It loosens its grip minimally when she tries to breathe calmly. "Until the end… he tried to kill someone he held dear. But he couldn't… so he let himself die, killed by them."

This time she collapses. The image of Sasori, demented puppetmaster and poison genius, shifts into Itachi's - seen through eyes that are not hers. Felt with emotions that are not Sakura's, so intense they burn and blind and _hurt_. It chokes her, knocking the air out of her grasp, the balance away, and the ground draws closer much faster than she can react.

She lies on the grass, crying out and biting back screams of pure agony, trembling all over. She knows, later, that she mumbles names and words, but they're incoherent. Calls for help, for friends and beloved people that aren't alive anymore, among flashes of black and red, ash and fire.

Itachi's cold expression shifts into a small smile- he falls forward, and behind him is Sasuke. _Oh, Sasuke_. Towering over her and quietly torn between severing the last tie and letting her go. Unable to take one path or another, broken apart in the space between choices, breaking and sinking into dementia, and dragging her down with him.

It got to him- in the end, it did. He couldn't let go, but by the time he realised, he had already killed so many. Already betrayed Naruto. Kakashi… She was the last one - and he _couldn't_ bring himself to do it. She was all that separated him from the freedom he had been pursuing restlessly for years. Only then, when that was all that was left, he _realised_ the vortex of chaos that would awaken after the deed.

That by letting go of all he ever was, he would lose himself. He would be _nothing_ \- not even a tool, because no one was left to use him. It wasn't until he was at the threshold of darkness, that he saw the truth that awaited ahead, the real nature of his goal. Deep down, he remained human… like Sasori and Itachi - he could never leave everything behind.

_He couldn't._

* * *

Sasuke can feel the tugging long before the world starts to melt and collapse around him. It's familiar, a gentle calling that is nonetheless firm and unrelenting. He takes a moment of introspection to examine it, and is welcomed with a faint sensation that, as usual, reminds him of Sakura. Like a lingering scent, or the warmth of her body if she were to stand next to him. Vague, but distinctive.

Then it becomes sharper, jabbing, _annoying_ in an insistent way that reminds him of a whole different person. They were similar on that, so determined to keep trying for lost causes… She never learned any better. He isn't afraid of what damage it could do to him; it's true Sakura is surprisingly strong in a spiritual sense, but it's nothing against raw power. Besides, it doesn't feel like an attack.

It's more like she is stumbling into his mindscape by accident… and bumping against the sharp things inside it. He can feel her growing distress, as she fades in and out, apparently caught in her thoughts. He gasps, the air suddenly knocked out of his lungs, as memories flash before his eyes. Those don't belong to him. They are muted in intensity, but… _brighter_. So much softer, yet so filled with life.

He hears a voice that rings a graveyard's bells, resurrecting memories he thought long dead and buried. _Itachi_. He's caught, tangled with Sakura in this race through mismatching images of insanity, and _falls_. He sees it all, feels it all, relives all those things that had been placed aside to allow madness to take over.

She's crying- of course she is. And as for him? He seethes with blinding rage - _can't_ is not a word he allows in his dictionary. Yet this makes him feel powerless... It takes half a second for the doppelgänger to kindly remind him that it's a lost fight. He already admitted to this weakness. He already surrendered, gave in, went ahead and _challenged_ her. He acknowledged the idea, entertained long shut childish dreams. If he had ignored her, and killed her, it would have been dismissal.

The world has long since faded away and blurred out of focus, but he can still hear her. She has never experienced the kind of emotions that he feels daily, the pent up frustration and the _pain_. As if it was a response to his thoughts, he remembers the massacre.

 _She, too, had everything taken away from her_.

The irony of it all doesn't escape him. She is not him, not an Uchiha - but maybe they aren't so different. The clone mocks him - what a day to be alive, Sasuke Uchiha can _relate_ to Sakura Haruno. She is not a carbon copy, not a mirror's perfect image - but rather, a reflection in a rippling pond.

It's a bizarre moment of epiphany, and his own inner Sakura sighs dejectedly, as if he was extremely stupid. This, she tried to tell him all along. It took a casual event for the idea to form into life and the truth to be unraveled.

She has the one thing he didn't - a love stronger than hatred. She lacks the curse that drowned him in sorrow… even if it has been imprinted on her body and mind, a trace of him left on her permanently. Curse and salvation. No, she isn't completely free of it, but she hangs on.

For some reason, that impresses him, sparking a competitive flame in his heart. She is winning against him at his own game. It's oddly amusing, he wouldn't dare say _comforting_ or _pleasant_ \- but it's there.

'Get up!' he wants to say, shake her shoulder and urge her to continue. Because maybe her mere existence allows him room to _hope_. For something better, kinder, brighter. That not all is lost. That she shouldn't give up, and instead give him a challenge. 'Don't disappoint me!' screams a child in his mind. _I'm counting on you._

A foxy boy smiles, a girl in a dress giggles. They both offer their hands to him. He wakes up from the dream, stepping backward and away from the illusion.

Darkness closes around him with its choking grasp and hungry embrace, choking the light and life out of him, whispering in his ears: _you are Sasuke Uchiha, and you don't count on anyone. You're an avenger, harbinger of death, to lay purifying waste upon this godforsaken world_. He remembers the distorted, ever-screaming faces. The fire and ash and blood; a body writhing under his very own hands, broken beyond repair and doomed to a fragmented existence.

He remembers _the reason_ and all those hopeful dreams shatter under a swing of Susanoo. And then another, and another, until his body is hurting all over and his vision is swimming in black and crimson.

A poisonous voice raises above all others, eerily pitched like the one of a pink-haired girl.

 _A challenge you want? A challenge I will give_.

* * *

Sakura wakes up covered in cold sweat - images burned into her eyes, her mind, her _soul_. The energies inside her stir, as shaken up as she is. The black lines of her skin ooze pure darkness, and her head is pounding with the crazy heartbeat marked by the Ningyo. She doesn't have a real heart anymore… only a construction made of tainted chakra, in place of the pieces lost.

But it hurts as if it was hers. Because the memories, the emotions, the _soul_ in her body - they're still property of Sakura Haruno, even if in a twisted way, her life isn't hers anymore. She is crying openly under the afternoon sun, her whole body trembling with shivers and tensing muscles. She feels breathless, and covers her eyes with an arm.

Maybe to shield herself from the light, perhaps from the world. She doesn't know.

"Konoha… Sasuke-kun…"

Under the light of Tsukuyomi, she _saw_ and _lived_. It caught her entirely off-guard. She feels awkward in her own body now, and the faint sensations of the scenes replayed for hours make her wary of moving. And she doesn't know - she can't tell how much was real. It's all blurry and she is too hurt and scared to look.

She was tortured with her worst fears for hours, she saw all those deaths again. The helplessness, the despair and promise of an imminent, horrifying death. First unable to run away because of her heart… and then, because she didn't have one anymore. Broken; over and over and over, until she couldn't tell where were the start and end of each second. It all blurred into one mess of pain and sorrow, an eternity of her own personal hell.

He won't kill her, but this is almost worse. For an instant, it felt… as if she had a glimpse of the person she used to know. And then, the lights went out, and the beast emerged. She cries for both of them, for all the people she lost and couldn't help; hurts for the wounds that she felt being reopened and retraced, as she was cut ever deeper until the blades reached her soul. Marked forever, burned away layers of her skin and sanity and mind, leaving behind raw, soft, tender meat to prey on.

Mangled, broken, holding on to feverish dreams and souls of dead people. Torn, scarred, unable to ever forget the events transcended in one fateful day. Sakura Haruno will never be the same person, neither will Sasuke Uchiha.

And he reminded her, reminded _them_ , because they forgot - she understands that much. Restrained enough to avoid destroying her, but she can only wonder if this is a favor or only a way to make the challenge harder.

It's impossible to turn back time, to undo what has happened, retake the pivotal point of choices that were incorrect. It hurts to know, to both of them. This is what they have, this is the life they've been left with, and the place where their steps have taken them. Apart by time and a rift filled with darkness, Sasuke and Sakura get up. Heaving, hurt and so very close to being irreparably broken.

But they get up.

 _Do you understand?_ The cacophony of voices disappears, until only one is left. One they both know well.


	33. Sounds of Silence | Arc IV: Raze

_There has to be some beauty in the unending annoyance of thoughts._

Meditation is good, they said. It will relax you, they said.

Sakura is sorely tempted to disagree, but that might just be because the voices in her head won't shut the hell up. Her concentration does have its limits, especially when it comes to something like this. After her latest encounter with Sasuke's messed up side of the connection, her mindscape was in a state of disarray. The blotches of burning wasteland took a whole day to disappear, as if they had pierced her very soul.

In a way, she already knows that this infection is always latent, simmering just below her skin, her conscious thoughts… She feels tainted, dirty - not whole. Just a puzzle with missing pieces. Perhaps even her _personality_ changed, and she wouldn't even know. It feels normal, even if it's clear it isn't.

"Do you want me to kick everybody out?" inquires her Inner, sitting next to her with a frown that hides a smirk. It hasn't been the same talking with her - knowing what she could become, what she _is_. It goes beyond having little conversations in her head. It's her own spirit, unfolded, trying to take shape. It's creepy in a scary way. "I can make them stuff it for a little bit."

There are screams of horror mixed with chatter - the spirits are agitated. And they won't shut up. The image of her mindscape wavers a little bit after she hears _someone_ brag about having the most painful death, in detail. She tries so hard not to remember, because then she would be poking again into those memories that don't belong to her.

"No. I don't want all those emotions building up." She remembers Sasuke, driven insane by the constant chorus of voices filled with hatred and anger. She doesn't want that to happen to her. Sakura rubs her forehead, nursing a headache that reflects on her physical body. "I'm trying to figure out how to avoid waltzing into his head."

"I agree that getting Tsukuyomi'd for your troubles kinda sucks, but you can't really do anything about that," offers Sachi, as blunt as usual, plucking strands of grass off the ground. Sakura blinks at her. It's still bizarre that, even though the other Sakura is still _her_ , the rupture of her soul has separated them so much that she isn't consciously aware of everything Sachi knows. Picking up the cue, her Inner speaks again. "What ties you to him is the fragment of your soul that you lost."

 _The clone_.

"So either you convince him to give it back, or you die." _You can't truly break souls apart, the bonds tying them together go beyond anything this world knows. Even if the pieces are separated, they still remain part of the same spirit, no matter how twisted it becomes._

"Damn it…" Sakura grumbles, passing a hand through her hair enough times to make it look like a wild mess. "That means we're… irrevocably drawn towards each other." _Because souls will try to come together if split into pieces._ "There is no escape, huh?" Sachi shakes her head, and then shrugs with a grin.

"You could infiltrate his innermost thoughts~" she whistles suggestively, gaining herself a bewildered stare. "What? Make the best out of what you get!" _I'm trying to cheer you up_.

Sakura can understand what Sachi wants and intends to say, but having a conversation out loud is still a lot better. Yet this bizarre sense of humor only makes her wonder if not one too many of her deepest, most shameful thoughts might have slipped into her Inner. Or, rather, if they surface easier because of her rather direct nature. It would make a lot of sense.

The pinkette considers how usually, she used to retract her most violent reactions into her Inner; as if she was folding those spare pieces of soul and holding them in. Outside, she could be shy or reserved - inside, the beast would roar. That is, until her training with Tsunade started.

"...What would happen if _I_ died?" she wonders aloud, trying her damned best to ignore those ideas. Especially, the memories. "The other Inner seems to be the only thing holding him together."

"This body's soul would pull the rest with it, beyond the gates of death… We're not like the phantoms - they're just little scattered fragments, mere imprints of chakra. We're strong, much stronger, so he would fall apart. And if we kill him, so will we. Our souls are deeply entwined… which basically means we're up to the throat in shit."

 _There really is no escape_.

* * *

Sakura opens her eyes and blinks at the source of her distraction grumpily. Takigakure is mostly a quiet place, but she still went the extra mile to walk into the woods for her meditation. Yet that didn't help with the cacophony going on in her head. She isn't in a good mood, and Lee hasn't lost a single ounce of his overbearing personality in the past year.

"Hold up, _what_?" she halts him, because she really has no idea what he's talking about.

"Spar with me!" he repeats enthusiastically. Well, it's true he is very dedicated to his training, but why now? Sakura looks at him quizzically, having been brought out of her trance a tad too abruptly. She can almost hear the scraping sounds of the gears in her mind, trying to work. "You seem troubled. Training is the best distraction!"

_Is it that obvious?_

"Yes, it is," replies a voice a little bit to her left. The pinkette turns her head, only to find her doppelgänger leaning against a tree casually. "Think of this as an outlet," she offers helpfully. Sakura isn't sure if she means Lee's proposition or her sudden appearance. Is her mindscape in that much of a bad state, that some of the stuff in there is leaking out?

In her defense, being exposed to the Tsukuyomi, even on an entirely spiritual level, doesn't do any good for the victim. She can only hope she won't lose contact with reality as bad as Sasuke does.

"I… Thanks for your concern, Lee, but I'm not sure I can do too much at the moment," she responds, shaking her head dejectedly. "My mind's all over the place."

"Like back then?" he inquires conversationally, with a note of worry in his voice. Sakura remembers sparring with him in order to improve her taijutsu, years ago. During the Exams she had come to admire Lee, but during those sessions she found out that his unyielding attitude extends to everything. It was oddly motivating.

"I guess?" she offers, feeling a little bit helpless. "I can't stop thinking about it… about him. So I suppose it's the same."

"Then more the reason to spar!" he offers, taking a stance as if the argument was one too easy to solve.

"Take that stick out of your ass and do it," adds Sachi, imitating his thumbs-up and grin.

_You're teaming up on me, that's not fair._

Eventually, she complies, if only because there is nothing else she can do.

* * *

"She might be able to put up a fight against you at this rate," mumbles the doppelgänger, frowning and deep in concentration. Sasuke doesn't spare a glance at her, reading through the daily stack of documents that he has to see through, write and, or, sign; it's all part of the duty of being a Hokage. And though he tries to have as many direct meetings as possible, it's inevitable.

Sometimes he wonders how is it possible that, despite everything, he can still stay on top of things.

"I'm savvy enough to see that this is going to end up with her learning how to manipulate slug natural energy, and then you'll be in for a world of pain," she adds conversationally. " _If_ they can fix her seal… without it, she will have no endurance. At least it would make things a bit more fun."

She pouts at the lack of a response; it reminds him of a petty child trying to be acknowledged by an idol. Ironic. Ignoring is a thing he can do decently well, but it usually ends up causing her to escalate things. An extreme side of Sakura that he has had the _pleasure_ of experiencing first-hand in the last months. Frowning, Sasuke decides that it might be better to reply after all.

Would she be able to match him in raw power? With that seal of hers… would she be capable of having such a great chakra reserve? In his mind, he goes through a list of Sakura's abilities that he can remember: remarkable chakra control, medical abilities, her strength...

"She's also smart," notes the clone, pleased with his compliance, even if it's a silent one. "I would count on her on being able to debunk every single one of your skills, so she can use it tactically against you. She did it against Akasuna no Sasori."

"She's still weak," he offers neutrally. In none of their encounters, save for a failed attempt, did she ever try to attack him. "If she can't bring herself to actually fight, it's a lost cause."

"Oooh~! That sounds like you almost want her to be useful!" the clone chirps, clapping her hands in excitement. As always, her eyes don't share the cheerful tone of her words. Sasuke doesn't deign glaring at her - the _whole_ point of challenging Sakura is believing that she is capable of fighting back.

Mere words aren't going to cut it, and she seemed to be aware of that when she challenged him.

"You're an Uchiha… the strongest man alive. She's a no-name, yet probably the woman with the most potential to face you," the doppelgänger continues. "Now the question is, can she employ her assets and skills?"

If she hasn't changed enough since the war, then the answer is a solid no that would confirm her inevitable demise. But whatever memories he has of their encounters do tell a thing already: she won't merely stand and plead, if only because she feels like a cornered animal against a predator. She seems to know her position very well, and perhaps due to Naruto's influence has become bolder.

"Sink with honor, dear," offers the doppelgänger, her fingers drumming on the desk idly. No, the rhythm matches a heartbeat, which isn't his own. Sasuke can feel an odd surge of emotion when he focuses too much on the sound. He _knows_ what it is.

"I think she will… even if she hasn't given up on me," he grumbles, tearing his gaze away from those wicked hands. Anything to fill in the silence, to pretend it's not there; he doesn't want to fall _there_ again.

"Do you think she will come at you with the intent to kill?" the fake girl wonders, enunciating the last word with every ounce of malice that she can muster. Which is quite a bit.

And truly, he doesn't know.

* * *

Lee is a monster of taijutsu. It has taken him months to figure out how to balance his body again, but it seems like that doesn't deter him in the slightest. Balancing his kicks and punches with postures that feel _wrong_ to see, moving in and out of range. He hasn't learned how to fully chain hits yet, but his speed makes up for it. With or without talent for genjutsu and ninjutsu, he seems to have figured out how to balance it out with chakra.

Sakura finds herself backing to the edge of the clearing immediately. She, too, has learned how to distribute her chakra in order to enhance her movements; it's a basic ninja skill. Her style, however, takes it to the finest degree of control. Every movement is calculated and efficient, because now she has to take the Ningyo's restriction into account. It's almost worse than being low on chakra. Maru was useful after all, reminding her that she doesn't have her seal's pool of chakra to draw out from, so she has to be extra efficient.

Lee's style is… unexpected; her own is much more methodical. She spends a large amount of time dodging him, waiting for an opening; all she needs is one good hit. But she's too slow in comparison, even if her reactions are well-timed.

It reminds her too painfully of how far behind she is in a lot of aspects of the shinobi world. Her training has helped with it, but it's not enough to put her on par with someone like Lee. Much less, Sasuke. Her frustration causes her to accidentally draw out a chunk of hardened dirt to use as a shield. Yet her sparring partner doesn't stop. Her momentary confusion nearly costs her a punch in the gut.

"Use whatever you want to fuel the flames of your youth!" hollers Lee, from _somewhere_ below her knees, not far away.

_He knows._

Grateful, she attempts to include the manipulation of earth into her movements. It's hard to make them fluid, and it takes her a few precious seconds each time. Even though it's one of the elements she can use, the earth is still something solid that refuses to change shape without extra chakra to mold it. If she can increase her speed, it would at least make a good projectile or barrier. It's just so _heavy_ \- it takes time to infuse enough chakra to manipulate larger amounts of material.

Sakura can't supercharge her movements and hits like she used to. Just enough, however, to have something usable. Still, she can't use enough chakra to move too much of it, making her dependent on the water style techniques. By the end of their spar, she hasn't managed to control a chunk of earth bigger than a human body. Any more than that and her flow becomes too unstable.

"This is all pointless!" she huffs, heaving. "I'm not going to get any better like this." Lee has accepted a break, and he merely looks at her. His response to not getting better is to train until he does; but that isn't her style at all. She is bumping against the wall of the Ningyo here - a strategy is what she needs, otherwise all of her hard work is for naught. There has to be something else she can do.

"Don't forget making geodes!" offers Sachi. Sakura gives her a glare, very aware of how weird it probably looks like.

* * *

Her frustration doesn't go away in the following days, while her group gets ready to proceed on the search for the Shikkotsu Forest. She feels like she is bumping into something that is impossible to overcome with her current methods; yet her _thing_ is usually to find a more logical solution. It's like trying to figure out how a poison works and the way to counter it; no matter how _hard_ she tries, without the proper method it's all useless.

Yet she can't find the solution to the almost literal poison called Ningyo.

Sakura doesn't really understand what the rat could possibly have meant with his words, even if her subconscious seems to have picked up on it, and taunts her with the idea daily.

Typical geodes are made of stone and crystal; she can shape the earth just fine, but crystal? Sakura knows exactly one person capable of manipulating that element, and her abilities were presumed to be a kekkei genkai. A combination of elements, which is nearly impossible to produce without the specific genetic skills for it.

"What do you have to do to understand the _process_ that leads to something, Sakura?" inquires her Inner, during one of her meditations.

"Break it down into the steps that lead to the final solution," she replies automatically. Sachi motions for her to continue, and she complies. "The problem is that I can't bypass the barrier of the Ningyo; I can compress my chakra to force more of it into a substance or a hit, but at the end of the day my reserves are too small because of it. I can only use it like a puppetmaster's strings, and that only gets you so far. I don't have enough."

Hence why she is putting all of her faith into Katsuyu's ability to fix the Yin Seal - it's connected to the slugs themselves, like a contract. Her control is only going to get her so far, even if by now she could probably kick major ass against a decent amount of her potential opponents.

She isn't the Fifth Hokage's apprentice just because. Vaguely, she recalls someone important mentioning that her skill was even greater than her shishou's. Hyper accurate control of chakra is _her thing_.

It's not enough to face Sasuke. And here she sees herself trapped in a never-ending cycle: without enough chakra, she can't use heavy-hitting attacks. Hell, even for defending she depends entirely on her own chakra-enhanced dodging. But she also doesn't have enough to do those two things at the same time.

As it is, she would never be powerful enough to tire him out, or break through his defenses with raw strength. If she had her Seal… she could pack a mean punch. As it is… her reserves are almost worse than-

"Think in order: ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu," reminds Sachi, helpfully, noticing that she is trailing off into the same circling thoughts that Sakura usually falls into.

"I'm unable to form hand-seals… but with delicate control, I can mimic the ninjutsu techniques. I just don't have too much chakra," she responds, frowning. "Taijutsu… my strength is enhancing my movements, to dodge or hit, through chakra manipulation. I can also dodge by predicting the enemy's attack pattern. I'm good at deciphering information to see if I'm in a genjutsu or not, but I don't use them too much."

_How could this bring me any closer to geodes?_

"Combining elements manually is… slow. It requires precision, the chakra for two different jutsu - but mostly time. It's not useful in most fights, unless I had time to prepare ahead. And even then, it would drain me," she continues, the lines on her face growing harsher. "Without the kekkei genkai or specific technique for the nature, it's suicide to think of using it in battle. Not with my speed."

Night has long fallen over the world, and sleep keeps escaping her. There are murmurs coating the air around her, blurry shapes hiding in the shadows of her room. Sachi's ethereal form sits next to her on the bed, looking too casual and young for the atmosphere that permeates her every thought. Sakura pays the dancing phantoms no mind: she knows what they are now. A mix of chakra and dementia.

As long as the emotions fueling their escape don't escalate out of control, they won't be able to hurt her.

Tomorrow she will be heading out towards the Shikkotsu Forest, which should be less than a week away. There, her fate will be decided. It sounds more ominous than it really is, but she feels a leaden weight in her chest at the thought. A painful twinge of memory and emotion, when her thoughts graze Katsuyu's name.

Her shishou's legacy. Only one of the many things she carries in her heart, from people who are no more… Sometimes the responsibility catches up to her and she feels herself falter, ever so slightly. Sakura remembers her pride as a shinobi and a medic, and has sworn that she won't just give up no matter how bleak everything seems.

The fate of the world could hinge on her hands.

"You can do it," exclaims a familiar voice, a bit to her right. Naruto's blurry shape takes form next to her, seemingly gleaming in the darkness. He looks so _young_ and unbroken, that it hurts. An emotion juxtaposed to the relief that floods her heart at his words. Sakura nods a bit too quickly, biting down on her lip to avoid tearing up.

She can hear similar words coming from other shadows; it's strange, how they bring both joy and pain to her soul. They don't start vanishing until morning arrives, and she spends those hours crafting strategies, analysing ideas and formulating plans. It's a relaxing distraction, and engrossed with her problem-solving, her worries wash away after a while.

* * *

Sakura trembles in her light sleep, her heart clenching as if she was experiencing an emotionally crippling situation. It happens almost every night now - Sasuke's nightmares affect her, too. She wonders, distantly, if he is also affected by hers.

She sits in her mindscape, waiting and watching, catching a faint whiff of smoke. Nothing else happens, however, and she hopes that it remains that way. It's an intangible feeling, but she feels closer to _him_. It makes her nervous in a way that is composed of both fear and her other telltale reactions to him. It can't be helped.

The next day, they find a sentient slug, capable of speech. Its bright yellow and purple colors almost hurt the sight, but her shishou told her that those species are the guardians of the Shikkotsu Forest. Their poison can melt any organism from the inside out within seconds, even by just breathing it.

"The White Seal of Lady Katsuyu," the creature mumbles in a surprisingly deep voice, extending its feelers to touch her forehead. Bigger than a man, it's only slightly intimidating. Sakura stays still, glancing at her team to tell them it's fine. She underwent this same procedure before. "You may pass. Only you," the slug adds, seemingly looking at her companions as a warning.

"I'll be fine, guys, I should be back in a couple of hours," she waves at them, and she notices Tenten's terse stillness and Misho's constant fiddling. However, they remain on the invisible edge of the forest - it seems similar to the rest of it, but Sakura knows that soon, the vegetation will start changing drastically.

She doesn't remember much of the path, but one of Katsuyu's many bodies should be easy enough to find. Sakura hopes that nothing happened to the slug, even though its own nature should have protected it from Sasuke's wrath. The girl finds it almost amusing, how whacky her belief in safety is.

She would never have imagined that… Sasuke would commit a massacre like that. Many expected him to betray them, but _not like that_. After he pulled that _stunt_ , it's hard to feel safe anywhere. She only has his word, and if he changes his mind he could annihilate them all on a whim.

' _Then get stronger,_ ' retorts Sachi, slapping her out of her dark thoughts. ' _We will find Katsuyu, fix the Seal, and then go out there to kick some Uchiha-kun ass._ '

Sakura can't help but snicker at the thought. With the whispers of encouragement in her ears, she hastens her pace, resolution reflected in her features.


	34. Queen of Damned | Arc IV: Raze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know I don't leave notes often, but since I informed the folks over at the mirror posting site of this story, you should know too: there will be a Q&A, either at the end of the story or Arc IV, since a bunch of people have expressed questions and concern over said questions being cleared at the end of the story.
> 
> While that is my intention, I also understand that it's unlikely that everyone will understand what's going on clearly enough, so this (and reviews/pm if you wish to ask) is your chance for that.

_It matters not if the subject of our hopes is helpless, as long as it shines in the dark._

When she started her training with Tsunade-shishou, Sakura was as squeamish as most people would expect a girly girl to be. Naturally, her mentor drilled that stupidity out of her brain within weeks - and one of her first tasks was to get acquainted with _Lady_ Katsuyu. To say it was a jarring experience would be cutting its impact short.

The guardians of Shikkotsu Forest don't take kindly to strangers trying to appear inside their domain, even if they are accompanied by a Yin Seal user, so the two of them took the long way and walked. Tsunade had a good laugh at Sakura's expense, after hyping up the trip to meet "one of the most amazing creatures you'll ever see." She didn't expect a slimy _slug_.

Sakura has come to respect Katsuyu, however - never as flashy as many of the preferred summons of other people, it's nearly impossible to _destroy_ her. As Tsunade told her, a medic doesn't necessarily need to defeat an enemy to _win_ , but merely survive and fulfill their purpose. And then she asked: " _Do you know why the seal I bear on my forehead is called Yin Seal, the Strength of a Hundred?_ "

The pinkette didn't. Her shishou, however, had no issue with telling her the reason: legends said it would take a hundred people to match the spiritual power of its user. She didn't mean raw chakra, she didn't say Yin type - no, this strength resided in the spirit. To endure, to achieve - to protect and destroy. Only someone with fantastic control over their own energy, sign of a great soul, would be capable of the feat of manifesting the Seal.

" _But, Tsunade-shishou, how can someone with the Seal be stronger, if they aren't a great combatant?"_ She was, obviously, thinking about the techniques that her own teammates were able to pull off while she was still limited to traps and her wits.

" _The mark of a great soul, Sakura, is to be able to withstand the corrosion of time. Be it by defeating every obstacle, or resisting defeat, it matters not._ " Her shishou understood very well. It didn't mean that her training had no offensive techniques thrown in.

The Slug Style, however, consists on being able to withstand whatever is thrown her way, be it by blocking or dodging. To give the user enough time to figure out a counter strategy, unravel the secrets of the opponent and punish their weaknesses and openings. That way, she should be able to take them out with a single, precisely calculated and devastating blow.

As it turned out, it's _all_ about control. It requires the ability to understand oneself, to balance aspects of her own mind in order to achieve maximum efficiency. Tsunade-shishou, however, had warned her to never let go of the importance of emotions.

Without them, she said, there would only be empty darkness, a void without reason or purpose. It didn't mean they shouldn't be regulated, but suppressing them wasn't the solution. Above all, Sakura became a force driven by her soul. It took her to nasty places, it landed her in the situation where she is right now - it took her a long time to come to terms with it, but she knows that she doesn't regret it.

"You survived," observes one of the many bodies of Katsuyu, no bigger than her own head. In the words, there is a mix of relief, admiration and… could that be sadness? There is a small twitch on the slug's feelers, and Sakura can predict the words before the question is asked.

"Tsunade-shishou is dead." A woman, she remembers detachedly, capable of shattering the armor of Madara's Susanoo with a hit. A kunoichi who, until the end, attempted to defend the values and people she stood by. Only Amaterasu's ever-hungry flame could put a stop to her... The memories aren't hers, Sakura knows.

It hurts, as if the pain of losing her mentor hadn't completely washed over her yet. Sakura steels herself and balls her hands into fists, furrowing her brows ever so slightly. Not now.

"Are you sure? I lost connection to your Seal too. I thought everyone perished," replies Katsuyu, and the faintest glimmer of hope raises in her chest. Then she remembers the memories of her mentor's death, and the pinkette forces herself to shake her head.

"I'm an exception. Another seal is overriding the Yin Seal. I'm supposed to be dead, but it sort of keeps me alive," explains Sakura, pointing a finger at her own heart. "Take a peek and see."

If Katsuyu was capable of gasping in horror, she would have, after latching onto her and sending a quick chakra pulse to scan Sakura's body. The slug is good enough that she detects the restrictions around her chakra, sending just enough to avoid a constriction of the Ningyo.

It takes very long to explain why her soul is, as Katsuyu puts it, _so impossibly shattered and broken that it's a miracle it hasn't disintegrated_. Similarly, Sakura needs a very long time to calm herself down when the slug informs her that in this state, it would be impossible to repair the Yin Seal.

It hits her like a wave of cold water, an off-handed statement that shatters her entire world in an instant. _It's impossible to repair it._

Impossible. A tight coil filled with anxiety and despair starts to burn her from the inside out.

"The amount of control you have over these pieces… it's truly remarkable," Katsuyu comments, withdrawing the chakra from her system and seemingly oblivious to the horror dawning on Sakura. "But in your state… your soul is not firm enough to withstand the pressure of so much chakra. I don't know if even this Ningyo seal would be capable of holding all of that energy in."

 _Breathe,_ she reminds herself. But the word seems empty… she's choking despite the ragged gasps that she finally manages. Sakura tries to focus herself on a reply, on words - desperately hanging on to the last thing that would prevent her from sinking into insanity.

"It took me months to be able to do that," she finally blurts out, her mind dashing through panicked thought processes as she tries to not break down into tiny pieces. "And even longer to be able to fight without… secondary effects." It has been weeks since the last time she coughed up blood while training, which has to be worth something. She looks up at Katsuyu, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "I… I've been trying so hard to hold everything together, so I c-can… face h-him."

Her voice is breaking, and she hates every second of it, but Sakura knows that she isn't invincible. The despair that she shoved aside, for the promise of a chance - that maybe she would recover her Yin Seal, go back to what she once was, all to have a shot at challenging Sasuke… it all comes crashing down on her in an instant. Katsuyu finally notices.

"Sakura-" the slug begins, but the pinkette girl can't stop herself now. She _has_ to do something or the rising crescendo of voices in her head will devour her mind. She knows that much.

"I- I have to find a way to!" she exclaims, a knot tightening in her throat, so hard that it could leave a bruise. In response, the Ningyo constricts around her, and she feels the start of a shadowy presence creep into her mind, enraging the souls within her and making them even louder. _doppelgänger_. She hopes it's the clone. She can't allow Sasuke to see her like this, he would definitely kill her in an instant. And then… "I promised! I have to do it, or… everyone will be lost!"

 _Breathe!_ But the voice is slurred.

If he kills her, she knows, he will die too. The world will be left in shambles, as a mess of chaos, with no semblance of organisation for who knows how many decades. There aren't enough pieces left to rebuild what once was, she understands - without _someone_ to lead them in the right way, everything will fall into the darkness again. She is the last hope they have, if only to free Konoha from Sasuke, be it by killing or saving him.

_Sakura, you need to breathe...!_

She can't lose. She _can't!_ Sakura opens her mouth to speak, but only a strangled cry comes out. It's the first time in so long that she has lost herself like this - so completely, utterly helpless in the stormy vortex of her emotions. It feels like her body is so overloaded that she can't even react. And the voices, everywhere, blurring out the world-

A soothing pulse of chakra numbs down the pain and ongrowing darkness, making Sakura release breath she didn't know she was holding. She nearly blacks out, her body forced to relax almost completely.

"Sakura-sama. Breathe." This time she recognises Katsuyu's soft-spoken words, but is seemingly unable to process them completely. Considering that her brain has been quite heavily sedated, it's not surprising.

The girl blinks a couple times, trying to attach one thought to another and failing miserably. It _hurts_ to try to think… She can't even remember what she was doing thirty seconds ago, nor count how much time passes between her break from reality and her current state. Groggily, she mumbles incoherent words for no particular reason.

Detachedly, she notices that her breathing and heart rate are even; soothing energy is covering her every sense, making her feel calm… when she knows she's not. Sakura can feel herself start to _fight_ what has to be Katsuyu's healing chakra. A distant part of her mind kindly lists all the reasons for which that is a very, very bad thing to happen.

"Withdraw…" she sputters, after a few failed attempts. If she grows into panic _again_ under the sedative chakra… she doesn't want to know how the Ningyo would react to its violent expulsion. "I'm fine now."

Katsuyu's chakra lingers only a fraction of a second, but finally, the slug heeds her wish. Sakura feels herself be assaulted with the overwhelming, _burning_ pain of all the built up emotions again; this time, however, she manages to force them down. She needs to be able to think clearly… and breaking down now won't help her in fulfilling her promise.

"Thank you, Katsuyu-sama," she breathes out, wiping tears from her cheeks and eyes. Sakura sniffles slightly, trying to clear her nose. Taking a few seconds to compose herself, the pinkette gives a tentative glance inward - following her wish, Sachi is holding back all those demons that are taunting her from the shadows now. There is a thick coat of genjutsu over them, and she thanks every god she can think of for having Itachi's imprint in her mind. "I… I was hoping you would be able to fix the seal."

She doesn't ramble per se, but the words are still spoken a tad too fast. Sakura figures it's as good as it's going to get. Feeling lightheaded, she sits on the grassy floor and leans against a tree with crimson bark.

"Is there something I should know?" Katsuyu inquires conversationally. The kunoichi mentally thanks the slug for being good with this stuff, no matter how subdued her attitude is.

"Where do I begin?"

* * *

Five hours later, Sakura is nearly tackled to the ground when her group is finally allowed to enter Shikkotsu. It might be because her eyes are slightly red, or that she feels utterly defeated and it must show in her pose - Misho doesn't seem to care about the details, he just jumps at her and hugs her waist tightly. Her breath is knocked out of her for the second time today, yet now it's for a good reason.

"There is a lot we need to talk about," she mutters gravely, after managing to pry the kid away from her. He doesn't go down without a protest. Normally, Sakura would make sure that the area is safe, but this is Shikkotsu - there can be no intruders that the slugs wouldn't detect. "The Yin Seal cannot be repaired."

The pinkette takes a deep breath, steeling herself for the words that will follow. Letting them out will surely be as relieving as it is painful.

"However, Katsuyu-sama and I have been working on a potential alternative," she proceeds. _They aren't going to like this_. "I will learn how to manipulate environmental chakra, so I can use it for my techniques. It will be especially useful if I have to face a giant ninjutsu, since the overloaded atmosphere will make it easier. But: I can't properly internalise and process the chakra, and because it's so potent it's likely that it will corrode the Ningyo… eventually."

Katsuyu was a bit clearer on her statement: _you will die_. Not only in body, but in soul - if the Ningyo is removed, all the energies that are barely in balance within her will explode. Her very spirit might already be damaged beyond repair, and such a violent death… It might disintegrate. No more Sakura, in any shape or form.

While natural chakra is overall the same, there are different ways to process it in order to make it usable - its strength is so great, however, that most of them are extremely dangerous and will kill if it's done wrong. Some special liquids can help with easing its flow through the body - toads have oil, snakes have venom... Slugs, being creatures of the forest, have sap.

"Wouldn't that mean you…?" Misho asks tentatively, as her other two teammates seem to be ruminating with Sakura's explanation. He doesn't want to finish the sentence, and she doesn't want him to. Sadly, however, she nods.

"It's the only option I have," the pinkette proceeds, looking down at her own tainted hands. Those dark, cursed lines… It would have been so much easier if she was just dead, instead of barely hanging onto life, broken in a level that reaches deeper than bones. "I can't become a Sage, for all that matters… but I have the control required to manipulate the chakra, even if it burns the Ningyo. I can't do the same for my Yin Seal, because it's connected to my brain. At least, natural chakra should be strong enough to allow me to move it through the Ningyo without the restrictions I currently have."

At the price of slowly breaking down her body, yes… Slugs are naturally good with poison techniques because their natural chakra is corrosive as _hell_. Sakura can hear her shishou's curses from within her mind - Tsunade warned her long ago that she never attempted senjutsu with the slug style _because_ , even for someone with the finest degree of control, it's practically suicide.

Sakura remembers, bitterly, that it's her only chance - the Ningyo can't be removed; the Yin Seal can't be retrieved, as it is buried and tangled with the former seal; the only way she could possibly amass and manipulate enough power to face Sasuke is to use a type of chakra that can overcome the dark tendrils, one that she can draw from without having to store it herself.

"How would you use that in a fight?" Tenten asks, as pragmatic as usual. Sakura remembers Neji, and isn't surprised about the brunette's stoicism. She nods gratefully, as it's a good anchor for her thoughts. Lee seems to be limited to frowning, and Misho has fallen silent, his expression anguished. _I wish I could tell you it's fine… but a shinobi's life isn't a tale of happy endings._

"Most people who use senjutsu need a small period to gather natural energy and blend it with their own," starts Sakura, straightening her pose almost unconsciously. "In most battles, that's bad," she adds, glancing at Misho. "But I think I have a workaround - my control is the best it could be, so it's possible I would be able to either do it in small moments where I don't move, or learn to do it continuously. I can probably gather and blend more chakra than average, and my pathways are already widened and conditioned to that sort of pressure." _It's the only reason I can channel chakra to begin with, with the Ningyo as it is…_ "If that fails… I have more Yin chakra than normal - I can get my Inner Sakura to do it for me."

Tenten's only reaction is to raise an eyebrow, seemingly analysing the details of her plan thoroughly. Sakura bites her lower lip, suddenly feeling exposed. What if it's all a stupid idea, and it won't work at all? It's a shot in the dark - something that even Katsuyu advised against. But then again, the slugs could probably do just fine with or without Sasuke.

Do they understand how important it is, that she is able to fight him?

"That's a crazy idea…" mutters Tenten, shaking her head slightly. Much to her chagrin, Lee quickly jumps in to interrupt what he perceives as an unyouthful spiel.

"We believe in you!" he chimes in, giving Sakura a thumbs up. He pokes Misho's shoulder as discreetly as he can be, and the kid jumps a little and then looks at her with a pained smile. "I don't know how senjutsu works, but surely you will be able to overcome this obstacle with your wits and hard work."

Tenten's raised eyebrow twitches, and then, as if something was deflating within her, it falls down to its rightful place. She seems defeated, conceding to the insistent pokes that Lee has been shoving into her shoulder for at least half a minute now. Tenten nods, frowning.

Sakura feels her anguish evaporate.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha is not a man who likes tiptoeing around issues - if they are unimportant, they might as well be ignored with well-honed contempt; otherwise, a good plan is the only thing that he deems necessary to tackle them head-on.

This time, however, he feels something that he would shamefully call _unease_ … and maybe it isn't entirely related to how he is trying to deal with the problem, but the thing itself: Sakura is _gone_.

"I keep telling you, you stubborn bastard, that she's just _fine_ ," insists the clone, but her adamant actions in keeping him away from her mindscape aren't putting him at ease. He doesn't trust her. Not when he knows the wicked things the clone is capable of…

It nearly causes him to collapse, this attempt at focusing his attention inward and in search of the faint tendrils of warmth that Sakura has on his soul. She is always there, however faintly, yet now… it's as if she had vanished. She _has_ to be there somewhere - she can't be dead, can she? Sasuke tells himself that Sakura wouldn't let herself die, except if somehow that counted as a defeat of him.

He puts himself into a genjutsu that mimics sleep, in order to be able to reach the innermost recesses of his mind; he is immediately assaulted by a hundred howling shadows, screaming for his blood and trying to tear him to pieces. The clone snarls at them and they back off only enough to allow him to proceed.

His imagined steps take him out of the chaotic madness, and into a place filled with the shadows of trees. He knows the way - if he keeps going, following the path that leads to Sakura, he will reach her mind. It's a dangerous ordeal, but hours have passed and he needs to know if she is dead or not.

Sakura's mindscape was always intriguing to him - there is a large clearing that houses a meadow and a version of Konoha that can be easily seen from it. It's all surrounded by the forest, which darkens considerably within a few steps into the dense vegetation; unsurprisingly, it's populated by phantoms, flames of Amaterasu and strange genjutsu that belong to Itachi's style. Tainting the soil, wood and leaves, a fraction of his own corrupted chakra connects them both, closed around her mindscape possessively. That must be the Ningyo.

She managed to do what he never could: keep the madness at bay. He assumes it might have to do with her particularly talented mind… and that she lacks the Curse of Hatred that corrupts his thoughts every second of his life.

The transition between his side and hers is messy and blurry; for a few moments he fears that he will find nothing on the other side, that the connection has been truly severed- and then he glimpses a ray of sunlight, peeking weakly through the canopy of the forest.

"You're pathetic," huffs the clone, walking by his side and snarling. Sasuke feels a tug in his heart, a painful clenching that reminds him of the twisted emotions she is capable of manipulating. This time, however, she seems to be willing to _help_ with crossing to the other side - just like she did before, the last time his and Sakura's mindscapes merged. "She's…" The clone falters for a split second, frowning deeply. "Just because she's somewhere you can't easily reach, it doesn't mean the connection isn't there."

 _She's hiding something_ , he knows. The clone's _loyalty_ , if it can even be called that, seems to be split between him and Sakura - sometimes he doesn't know if she is trying to help him or her, or it's all a façade and the thing just wants to watch the world burn. She is not to be trusted, either way, even if she seems to be helping him… and even the things she _claimed_ were to help had such a twisted logic behind them, that he might as well be wary either way.

"Where would this place be?" he inquires, knowing already that it will irk her; that it will get him a colorful bunch of insults thrown his way. The doppelgänger furrows her brows and twists her expression into a grimace.

"Like hell I'm going to tell you," she snaps, jade eyes burning holes into his soul. Almost literally. It's rare to see her display anger in this manner, as open ire instead of words laced with poison. Then, something flashes in her eyes, and her expression switches to a predatory one. "Unless you really, really want to know~" she purrs.

Although she is smaller than him, the way her gaze settles on his causes Sasuke to feel a shiver running down his spine. Now, he is certain that he _doesn't_ want to know - because this is a trap and he's walking right into it.

Before, he wouldn't have cared. Now, he knows better.

"She better be…" _Alive_. No, she's alive - she better be _fine_. Because otherwise he might be forced to intervene…

The clone throws her head back and cackles, revealing the bruises on the pale skin of her neck. Coincidentally similar to the shape of his own hands.

Sasuke's fingers twitch, and he forces himself to turn around and walk back into the darkness. Behind him, he can hear the doppelgänger's laughter and mocking words:

"I'm sure she won't let anyone steal your kill."


	35. One step Closer | Arc IV: Raze

_Every passing second takes you closer to the sacrificial altar that will decide your destiny._

Kōta shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Sasuke notices that the boy is _always_ trying to steal a glance at his eyes - it seems that his master's obsession with the Sharingan has rubbed off on him. The Uchiha doesn't bother to lift his eyes from the sheets of paper on his desk. He never takes too long to deal with them, so they never pile up.

At the back of his mind, he hears the clone's sarcastic remark about how he ended up being a paperwork ninja instead of a protecting shadow; even though he only stepped up into the position of Hokage because it was necessary. He would much rather work from the dark… but he overdid it. Sasuke knows that there is no one suitable to fill the power vacuum he created.

He can't leave Konoha's fate up to the chance that they're the first village to recover, not when it's so… defenseless.

"Orochimaru-sama requests permission to utilise the hostages." Almost every week, Kōta Nemuri shows up in his Tower to deliver messages. They are almost always the same, and the answer doesn't vary - it has been a long time since any Konoha citizens were sent to Otogakure as a punishment.

There are almost no dissenters left, and soon there won't be anyone capable of delivering them anyway. Orochimaru suffered too much damage during the war, and is still confined to his hideouts. Nowhere near defeated, he has kept experimenting. Sasuke bothers to glance at Kōta: the kid is more dangerous than he looks like. His chakra suppression skills are able to fool his eyes if he isn't constantly alert (thankfully, he always is… unless his sanity slips away).

"We can't sacrifice them. If we do, our last remaining loyal forces will revolt or flee," he replies stoically. Orochimaru doesn't seem to have a problem with that - Konoha is too far gone, in his eyes. There are other ways for Sasuke to accomplish his plan of being Hokage, and most of them don't even require him to have the official title, he argues.

"You are _way_ too attached to this piece of shit of a village," murmurs the clone, somewhere to his right. "What did they ever do for you? They took away your family, your brother… they tried to steal your power for themselves. Why do you care so much about it? If you left, they would crumble and fall apart on their own pile of sins."

 _Why does it feel like he could ask something similar to Sakura herself?_ He doesn't really understand why she keeps trying to save him - _for_ him, not only to remove the threat he represents. It took her blatant challenge to see that it goes much beyond a crush. For someone like Naruto, he would understand it, but _Sakura_?

...Sometimes he regrets letting her live.

"I will inform him." Kōta's words and respectful bow only register in his mind half a minute after he has disappeared. Sasuke blinks away the dark shadows that have started to creep into his field of view. In a way, he is always tired - there is barely a moment of rest, whether he's awake or not. He would pay so much for being able to _sleep_ again.

The doppelgänger brings up the fact that she gives him _nice dreams_ \- which are nothing but cheerful, fake scenes of all that could have been in a world much more innocent. Nightmares don't need monsters to be terrifying and painful.

"Zaji," he calls out, although not too loud, because he knows that the man is always nearby. The aforementioned shinobi flashes into the room and bows down slightly. Sasuke doesn't know what happened to him, but his attitude shifted from rebellious to fearfully compliant one day. He can't remember if he did anything to him, but so far he has been one of his only reliable men. "Report."

"Iwagakure's border patrols are still armed to the teeth," the man replies - some of his former attitude remains in the way he speaks. "However, our spies report new activity." Zaji clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable. "It seems that they might be preparing for war."

 _This is the moment you've been waiting for_. Sasuke nods and dismisses him without a word after the report is over; they don't have much information on the Land of Earth, partly due to their heavy security controls and also because of lack of personnel. After all, most of the best shinobi were deployed in the war and killed.

He doesn't know who is the new Tsuchikage, as every attempt at contact failed. Sasuke himself deemed a personal mission useless - as long as Iwa kept to themselves. The information he did manage to gather pointed at the best life conditions of the entire continent. Albeit extremely militaristic, whoever is moving the strings knows what they're doing.

Until now. He made sure that the whole world knew of the consequences of opposing him and, or, starting a war. Even if his base of operations ended up being Konoha, the overall goal is to impose peace upon the Nations.

It doesn't help that he feels positively antsy - Sakura has been in a place where he can't _feel_ her for almost two weeks. He doesn't know what she is doing, and the clone's words suggest that finding out would bring more trouble than benefit. It's almost as if some small background detail was missing; a puzzle lacking an insignificant, yet key piece.

"Feeling needy, dear? I have more dreams stored for you." A sudden surge of black permeates his vision, and he can hear young Sakura's laughter in the distance. The clone's distorted laugh rings in his ears too, and the world starts to blur dangerously.

"Do you _have_ to antagonise me at every step?" he finally inquires in a growl, resting his head on his hands. There is always a headache pulsating under his skin; courtesy, no doubt, of the constant strain his mind is put through.

"Absolutely!"

* * *

Meditation, Sakura finally decrees, is _really_ a royal pain in the ass. She used to be able to do it for extended periods of time - a good thing, because learning how to be a medic-nin and training under Tsunade are both extremely stressful endeavors. After all, her ability to focus is above the norm.

The pinkette's face is scrunched up into a deep frown, her legs crossed and her eyelids down. Around her, the chirping of birds mixes pleasantly with the rustling of ancient leaves. That isn't what is bothering her.

" _You're all a bunch of moronic dipshits!_ " The voice rings in her ears unpleasantly - it's her own, but that doesn't make its loud tone any better. " _Can't you just shut the hell up?!"_

There is a chorus of _moans_ in protest - not screams of agony, not calls for blood or whispers of hatred. Sakura feels herself slightly disbelieving at how mundane her situation has become over the past months. It is a normal state of mind, to talk with the dead and argue with them in petty squabbles.

Somehow, she cannot imagine Sasuke having the same experiences.

She blocks out the distant echoes, instead directing her attention towards her own body. No matter how much time passes, she won't get used to the feeling of restriction. It is a constant sensation that reminds her of how torn she actually is - how only the tendrils of the Ningyo keep her in one piece. And their embrace is toxic, asphyxiating, yet the only thing that allows her to stay alive.

It really is hard to meditate when her chakra keeps bumping into it, restrained and choked. However, she isn't Sakura Haruno for nothing - and she has persevered until she became able to control the energy well enough to maneuver around the seal. She remembers how she was barely able to do anything at all, without running out of air and coughing up blood, without feeling at every moment like her very flesh was about to burn and fall off her bones.

There are flashing memories, too - one wrong move and she is assaulted by _emotions_ , hatred coalesced into tangible material. Those send her stomach spiraling into a well of dread, but she endures.

Katsuyu reminded her that most people would need months, maybe even years, in order to be able to _find_ natural energy to begin with - fortunately for her, she has the slugs' help (even if it means she has to end up naked and drenched in conductive sap). Her chakra feels _slimy_ and slides easier through its channels, through the holes of the seal, reaching out in search.

"However foolish, your goal requires an admirable amount of courage." The girl opens her eyes, glancing around in search for the source of the voice. Deep. Vaguely recognisable. It sends a spike of fear through her spine, her body reacting purely on instinct and screaming _danger_.

" _Get back in here, you little Uchiha shit!_ " hollers the echo of her own voice, and immediately she feels the pressure diminishing into nothingness. Sakura lets out a shuddering sigh, forcing her heartbeat to calm down again. " _Honestly, screw those guys… terrorising semi-naked girls has to be a family tradition or something._ " A beat in silence, in which the pinkette notices an unstoppable blush spreading from her cheeks to her neck. Her Inner doesn't seem to notice. " _This is honestly impressive… most of the chakra imprints are faint, but it seems that your… meditational enhancements are making them a lot more slippery._ "

Which essentially means: be careful, some of the deepest dormant imprints might be waking up and they can't be fully controlled. Sakura knows that the most dangerous ones were sealed by Sachi and covered by Itachi's genjutsu, but considering that a lot of the imprinted souls didn't die near her, or had been powered by the Edo Tensei to begin with, there could be anything hiding in the recesses of her soul.

The pinkette shakes her head minutely, taking a few deep breaths and closing her eyes once more. The all-encompassing chorus of the forest envelops her in a relaxing embrace, but it seems that the world is very intent on stopping her attempts at meditation.

Something taps her on the face, startling her.

Sakura takes a few seconds to verify the reality of the situation, blinking owlishly and looking down at the space in front of her feet. Maru looks up at her with the most casual poker face she has ever seen him sport (except for the times when he is about to do something truly evil). He just appeared in front of her, and seems nonchalant about it.

"Yo, Pinky," he greets with fake cheerfulness "Something tried to eat our King, ah," he explains offhandedly. Weeks of absence, and he doesn't seem to give any more damns than he did before. "Some big-ass snake." The way he looks at her holds a lot of unspoken questions, almost like a teacher inquiring for due homework. And she feels that one wrong answer will unleash hell upon her.

The pinkette suddenly remembers what it's like to have someone as calculating as Maru as a companion, and she steels herself for the challenge that is sure to come. His sudden entrance makes her forget anything about spirits and meditation.

"...Does that have anything to do with Sasuke?" she can't help but ask. The doppelgänger implied that she tricked him into controlling the Bakunawa - whether he is behind the appearance of long-forgotten mythical beasts, or merely took advantage of it, she doesn't know. He might have wanted to hand some payback to the rats, too.

"I see that you haven't changed," huffs Maru, tapping the ground with his staff. "No, ah. Your kin should soon be experiencing the disaster, but beasts older than your writing are waking up, and they're pissed, ah."

 _You haven't changed either, you ass!_ Sakura wisely decides it's better to refrain from introducing the rat to her Inner so soon.

"Have you seen Misho yet?" she inquires, stretching and looking up. The canopy of the trees hides the sky, but if her calculations are correct, it should be late midday now. Just about time for lunch. "I think he missed you a lot." If she has to judge by how much the kid talks about the rat, her statement would be quite true.

Maru hops on her shoulder with practiced expertise, and Sakura notices that he weighs less than he used to. He looks just like he did when he left, so she hadn't noticed… There is something in the way he moves, though; with a precision that she hasn't seen him use before. Conveniently, every time the rat had to move and fight for real, she was out of it. He might just be acting careful.

"No, I intended for you to show me where Twat is, ah…" Something is not right with the rat, but for the life of her, Sakura can't pinpoint what. He sounds and behaves the same as usual.

The pinkette considers asking him how did it go, why did he leave so suddenly - what did his cryptic parting words mean. Somehow, though, she feels that any hope of a normal conversation with Maru is doomed to fail. He won't tell her anything if he doesn't want her to know… and by experience, she can tell that there is something he's hiding.

"I have been wondering, ah, if my most gifted _student_ has done her homework," he continues, with a tone that drips venom. _Oh boy, here we go!_ His tail curls warningly around the back of her neck, and Sakura has to suppress a shiver (though Sachi seems to be very willing to declare war on him, for trying to scare her). He's creepy when he wants to be, alright.

"Well, I still can't combine elements, and I don't think I'll be able to anytime soon," explains Sakura, a slight frown marring her features. "I'm learning something different instead," she adds in a rush. "Natural energy."

"You do stink of slug juice," replies Maru. He hasn't hit her yet, so she must be doing something right. "Was nice to meet you, ah." With those words, he conveys _too much_. Too many emotions, troubled thoughts and pain. Sakura nearly trips on a root - she isn't rushing on her way to the place where her group is staying. Besides, she needs to get her clothes.

The pinkette always feels sore after meditation - it requires calming herself enough to perceive natural energy (which would be hard to do if not for Sachi's control; she is certain that, at least, Sasuke will not be able to do it. Kami knows how terrifying he would be if he could use natural energy) and then gathering it in her body (which requires transforming it properly and filtering it through the Ningyo).

It burns as if there was fire coursing her veins - even if the sap helps with the movement, her processing method is still the slugs'. One wrong movement and it could either turn her into stone or melt her from the inside out. She hasn't managed to figure out how to properly convert and use it yet, but she's getting used to it.

"Have some faith in me!" she protests, batting her hand towards Maru in her frustration. Anger is better than panic, she believes. He dodges, of course. "Katsuyu says she has never seen anyone learn how to draw and transform the chakra that fast. I think I _know_ what I'm doing."

"I know what you're _not_ doing, ah," he jabs. Then he does something oddly uncharacteristic, releasing a breath that almost sounds like a sigh. "You've made all those resolutions, but you still behave as if you were a schoolgirl."

"WHAT?!" Her temper gets her this time, flaring up uncontrollably in one of the outbursts she's well known for. Her Inner roars in offended outrage, and a second later she has forced the rat off her shoulder, lest he wants to get hit by a chakra-infused hit.

He has always been infuriating, but now - she has spent a whole _week_ meditating every day, risking her own life and _feeling_ how the natural chakra slowly corrodes her pathways. And a much longer time (months, in fact) pushing herself to be able to _move_ like a good shinobi ought to. Hours and hours, no matter how restless the nights became or how much her heart ached.

She remembers the words she swore to Kurenai: _I don't want to live in a world where he is Hokage. If it costs me my life, so be it. He took away everything else - I have nothing besides this wish._

They echo in her head, spurred by her anger and frustration, her anxiety and fear. She chases the rat, who merely stays out of the way, and throws a charged punch in his direction.

A burst of pain, blossoming in her heart and spreading through her whole body within a second, quickly wipes away all those thoughts. Sakura gasps, her body twitching and falling out of her control - her arm spazzes and the chakra dissolves inside her hand, sending fiery needles through every nerve of her palms and fingers.

"This is the best you have?" the rat scoffs. There it is, that same tone filled with veiled anger. However, this time there are no physical signs of it - only a voice that seems to be dripping disappointment. Not condescending, not patronizing - disappointed.

It only serves to piss her off further. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realises that it hasn't been five minutes and she is already trying to murder the damn rodent. He has to be doing it on purpose. But she doesn't care about the reasons, not now. There is too much built up frustration - accumulated hours of effort with barely any progress, that always leave her wonder how could she possibly defeat Sasuke Uchiha.

Sakura stopped reigning in her anger a long time ago. Her shishou taught her to deal with things _bluntly_ , in a swift and direct manner. So even after falling to the ground, body convulsing and lungs robbed of their held breath, she grits her teeth and gets up.

The first thing she has to take care of is balance - keeping her body upright. Then making sure that her legs move properly, and that her torso won't sway too much. Her right hand and arm, almost up to the elbow, is filled with cuts drawn around the Ningyo's lines. The seal is completely black, threatening to subdue her, choking the life out of her.

The pinkette spits blood to the side, and quietly glares at the rat. Her breathing is too uneven to be able to spell out the many words she wants to shout at him. It's a waste of breath. Instead, she focuses her energy on her feet - launching herself forward with little grace, but great precision.

Just as she is about to crash into him, she starts the painful process of conducting chakra through her left arm - her fingers curl into a fist, but they open again just as she is about to reach Maru. She just wants to grab him and smash him against something. And besides, the slugs wouldn't take kindly to the destruction of their forest.

And then there is a blur of movement and he _vanishes_. Something hits the back of her head, _hard_ \- if not for her shinobi instincts to protect the area with chakra, she could easily have gotten a concussion. The force of the blow is enough to tip her already fast-moving body off balance, and she trips and falls face first on top of a fallen tree.

"Well, ah, at least now we know that making you go berserk makes your control shit," offers the rat, landing on top of her lower back and tapping her shoulder with the bō. "Too easy to throw off with emotions, even if you've learned to harness their power, ah."

Sakura groans something that sounds suspiciously like an insult, rolling onto her back and attempting to punch him with her left arm. She hits rotting bark, creating a fissure on the trunk and cracking it. A moment later, she has fallen further down, her support now reduced to dust. She desperately hopes that Katsuyu won't consider this an act of vandalism.

_I'm not like Naruto… I can't just charge forward with determination alone._

She sits up, eyeing the obnoxious rodent. There isn't much space for movement - although the big, strangely-colored trees of the forest are far apart, there is a sea of smaller trees and plants surrounding her. She can hold onto the surfaces just fine, it's the obstacles that throw her off. Too many things in her way, and too little time to see them, if at all…

"If you can't do better… you'll die." A hit she didn't even see coming, to the back of her knee. Sakura yelps in surprise, but manages to push through the pain and rolls on the floor to soften the fall, crouching down and facing the direction of the attack. Maru is standing there, bō raised and tail lazily waving in the air.

She didn't even see him. There is no playfulness in the words, merely a statement delivered with a flat tone. A fact. Sakura grinds her teeth together and wishes she had kunai on her, but it would be too much, to ask luck to be on her side for once. If any slugs are watching, they are well-hidden. She knows they won't intervene. This is her fight.

"Our duel isn't one to death," the kunoichi grunts, rising to stand on her full height once more.

"But, ah, you imply that you will survive to reach that encounter."

Her blood freezes, eyes widening and heart fluttering erratically. Sakura looks at the rat in disbelief, but he doesn't give her time to fully process the information before he vanishes again. No leaves are rustled, nothing predicts the hit that slams against her back, much stronger than the other two, flinging her across the forest until she collides with a large tree.

Her form lies crumpled on the ground, vision blurred and body unresponsive. The air is knocked out of her, and she gasps in pain. The Ningyo isn't taking kindly to the beating. It constricts further, numbing the lower half of her legs and blocking control of her fingers. One thought echoes through her mind, her eyelids drooping in her dizziness - a blurry figure appears in front of her, its small form staying still in silent judgement.

 _He's going to kill me_.

* * *

"You are indebted to me." _Filthy lie. It's the other way around._ "If you pay off your debt, I will let you go." _What you want is a way to pay him back, for the hell you brought on him._

Soma's eyes narrow in quiet analysation. He is always soft-spoken, giving off the vibe of a shy person - in reality, he is observative like none of the other hostages are. He was the one who found the cracks in the prison where Sasuke keeps him hostage.

It was the doppelgänger, who pointed out that he is always looking out for new things he can learn. And he remembers them very well - his above-average skills as a medic and in chakra control come solely from this.

He is no natural, but under a good teacher he has the potential of becoming a powerful weapon.

A weapon, indeed, because Sasuke is almost certain that a natural healer like him would refuse to fight.

"What would you want from me, Hokage-sama?" Soma finally inquires, pulling him out of his musing. The kid remains respectfully bowed, unfazed by the call at a strange hour of the day. Perhaps he isn't as submissive as Hanabi, but he definitely has manners. Sasuke knows that he won't rebel.

"I require a heir."

He can't put all his cards on Hanabi - no, from his experience, the strongest shinobi rise when they are pushed to their limits. And nothing better than a competition, however brutal, could be better motivation. The Uchiha vaguely remembers Naruto and himself, in their genin days. The doppelgänger comments, amused, that he literally jumped from the lowest rank to the highest.

In her words, he finds an underlying truth: titles mean nothing if they aren't achieved by power. A Hokage could be weak… or they could be strong. But there will always be a Hokage, unless Konoha is gone. It's his task to ensure that whoever takes the mantle will be more than capable of protecting his dream.

"If you agree to be trained by me and abide by my rules, I will grant you freedom." _Which means, put the dog on a leash until it can't tell what it's like to be without it._ Sasuke frowns slightly, lips twisted downward in distaste. The clone's distant laugh echoes somewhere in his mind, after finally drawing a reaction out of him.

Soma glances at Hanabi, who has been quietly awaiting on a seat next to Sasuke's. The Hokage's desk is devoid of papers, leaving clear view. The Uchiha feels an internal urge to roll his eyes - of course a _child_ would think first about staying with his _friend_.

Little does he know, that if everything goes according to plan, they will become mortal rivals.

* * *

Sakura blinks owlishly, and raises her arm in a block automatically. Just in time to halt the path of the bō, straight towards her face. Maru moves back, standing a few feet away from her form. The pinkette looks at him suspiciously, and up at her own arm.

She wasn't even completely conscious when she moved, so how did _that_ happen? It felt more like her arm twitched, almost as if…

 _No way_. Her Inner self's curses resonate in her skull, so loud that they're painful. There is liquid slipping out of her ears, she can feel it. However, her mind is trying to work on the fact that what made her move was the _Ningyo_. The tendrils drawn on her skin relax, causing her arm to fall limp.

The Puppet Seal, the bane of her existence, is actually _protecting her_ \- even if it's to fulfill the mission, the goal that brought it to life.

Sakura mentally screams at herself to get up, but every muscle of her body is melting in fiery agony. The only ones that don't bother her are those that have fallen numb and cold.

"...Those Uchihas were always cheaty bastards, ah," comments the rat nonchalantly. The pinkette glances at him, and immediately feels herself choke up on the words that she wants to shout at him.

Is Maru really trying to kill her?

"Yes." When he responds, Sakura realises that in her dazed state she must have formulated the question aloud. "I am doing this for you, ah. You promised to free the world from _Sasuke_ even if it cost you your life, ah. That you wouldn't live in a world where he reigns." He spits out the name like it's something nasty that he wants away from himself, earning a surprised stare. "I'm helping you out with that."

If he wanted to finish her off, he could have. Sakura knows that he is purposely laying out the explanation for her - Maru's movements and actions are never without reason. And he has told the pinkette _why_ he is doing this - he likes talking, jabbing everyone with sarcasm and irony, but there is something more to his words.

It's a choice he has detailed to her: proving herself capable of face and survive any thread on her road to Sasuke, or dying and tearing his soul when her own leaves the mortal world. Logically, whatever the outcome is, it will fall within the range of her _promise_.

He isn't lying - this is help. And it both amazes and saddens her that it's not the most far fetched solution to her problem.

"You're crazy," she mutters. "Were you spying all along?"

"If only you had looked at the twat's eyes, ah, you would know." She doesn't have time to process the words before he strikes.

He moves again, and this time the Ningyo doesn't react. Sakura can distinctly hear the crack of the bones in her arm, her block too sloppy to deflect the force properly. She mentally curses - even though it helped her, the Puppet Seal blocked her pathways more than she expected, and she couldn't channel enough chakra.

Once more, the rat moves away. She desperately tries to redirect whatever chakra she has left to the wound. Sakura has one card up her sleeve: the ability to heal without hand-signs. Even if channeling the chakra _out_ is difficult, the Ningyo is much more tolerant to her shifting it around her own body.

She knows already that, despite her proficiency with chakra control and healing, it won't be enough to heal her arm fully. The tug of flesh knitting itself together anew is not unfamiliar to her, but it surely feels strained.

_How did I get into this? And how the heck am I supposed to get out?_

Her puzzlement must show on her face, because it only takes Maru a few seconds to pick up her confusion at his actions.

"Truly ironic, that you can understand the working of the body from inside out, but do not understand how minds work, ah. If you had been able to, he wouldn't have slipped between your fingers, ah, too difficult to comprehend-"

"SHUT UP!" she growls, forcing the chakra on her arms and legs once more, and leaning against the tree for support. No other major injuries, but Sakura won't be able to heal anything worse than bruises and scrapes. Her mind is spinning, spiraling out of control in a mess of troubled emotions and painful thoughts.

She knows - whatever reason drove the rat to do this now, he isn't going to stop. Sakura has seen her fair share of strange things, and knows that getting her ass handed over by a rat isn't beyond the realm of possibility.

Yet a particular sensation is bubbling its way up on the layers of her mind: betrayal. Anger. Hurt. Maru acted as an anchor for those thoughts before - and now he is trying to _kill her_. There is a tight, familiar feeling welling up in her chest and twisting belly.

The forest around her is blurred out, bright colors and strange shapes discarded from her attention, so she can focus her eyes on the small ball of fur that taunts her. Nothing matters anymore - she just wants to give rightful payback. Why, she can barely remember anymore. She just has to.

She charges forward, fists ready to slam into him. He doesn't move.

In fact, her right hand collides cleanly against his body, smashing it into the ground. She can hear the crack of bones, feel the explosion of his internal organs, as Maru's figure is flattened against the ground. A crater forms after the impact, and it takes Sakura an awfully long time to realise what just happened.

Horror dawns on her features, as she stares in disbelief. No, no, he can't just die like-!

 _Behind!_ Her Inner is one step ahead of her, but it's barely enough time - the genjutsu doesn't dispel, blood soaking her hand and flung through the air when she whips around as fast as possible, concentrating her chakra on her legs and upper body.

She ducks just in time, but the rat is fast - with reflexes that most humans would never demonstrate, he swings his bō mid air and hits her shoulder with it. Her bones protest in response, but the shift in position prevents the hit from knocking her off her feet. She forces the chakra to her legs and jumps away - from the wicked illusion, from him.

"Emotions are strength, ah, but only if you don't let them cloud your mind." The genjutsu is still there, and the rat is standing next to it with the most casual air. Even though his words are harsh, he hasn't lost that nonchalant edge completely.

 _A lowered guard, because of a sensitive heart._ _A soul unwilling to fight what it holds dear, even if it becomes so twisted and dark that it threatens survival._

Sakura is frozen, the words echoing in her mind in a rising cacophony - she isn't Naruto. Not even close. She can't -she just can't- fight someone she cares about like this. She can't put it aside, and she lacks the understanding that the Uzumaki had. The ability to grasp the essence of people's hearts, and _change_ them.

She can't do that to Sasuke, she can't even do that with Maru - no, _she_ is the one who has to change. Because it's not enough, it's never going to work. She, who can break and mend bodies within seconds, is miles away from sharing the same ability to affect minds and souls. She can understand patterns of any kind and in any situation… but not hearts.

And yet she is nearly certain that power alone will never be enough to defeat Sasuke.

Maybe it has always been like that. Time after time, the events repeated themselves across different scenarios - and it always ended the same way. She could never break through, could never comprehend the burning desires that drove her two teammates so far. Motivation, yes; this fiery determination, with which Naruto and Sasuke were so similar yet contrasted, no.

There was always a rift. Differences that put her apart from her teammates since the very beginning - and even though she progressed to be able to stand her ground, even though she learned and trained restlessly to become better, that never changed. It still hasn't. No matter how much courage she packs in her actions and words, she will never be the same as they.

Their bond went back, back to Kaguya and the Sage of Six Paths. It ran deep in reincarnations throughout history, thicker than the blood spilled in the many wars it fueled. Nothing she could ever do can compare to that.

Her only weapon, her greatest weakness, are her own emotions - they give her the strength she needs to face the impossible feat that awaits her. But she was never good at thinking straight when Sasuke was involved...

"I know," she whispers, breathing erratically. She swallows the spit and blood in her mouth, and her expression contorts into a grimace. She closes her eyes, letting out a sigh. Memories flash across the sight of her mind, but she forces herself to remain in the present. Her eyes remain dry as she stares down at the rat. "I'm a bad kunoichi."

_Even though I always knew I shouldn't show emotion… since the very beginning, I went against the rules._

"You are using antiquated terms," comments the rat. "The shinobi world has crumbled. Those rules don't matter anymore, ah."

' _How does he know what I'm thinking?_ ' she wonders, narrowing her eyes and falling into a dodging stance in preparation. Her mental clock is counting down the seconds for the next attack.

"You make them obvious, Pinky. They're seeping out."

She attempts to dispel any genjutsu around her, but much to her surprise, the one that Maru casted earlier doesn't disappear. Befuddled, Sakura blinks. In that timespan, the rat is gone.

An instant later, so is the world around her.


	36. The last Stand | Arc IV: Raze

_One last breath, one last chance - a moment comes, to win or lose it all._

_Truly ironic..._

Sakura desperately wants to think that Maru lied all along. She wants to believe that he was lying when the rat (for reasons she couldn't fathom) said he cared. She wants to list all the things he did and didn't do, that could hint at an ulterior motive. But she can't, as much as she desires she would be able to.

Anything, to escape the realisation that this is her reality (because it hurts too much to bear with the thought). That everything has gone so horribly wrong, that the world was always so unfair… that her own friend would have to try to kill her. _For the greater good_. He didn't say that - but she knows.

And she has never been good with emotional pain. Be it sadness and hurt, be it anger and annoyance - she never _could_ truly suppress them like a good shinobi ought to. She never really wanted to, and now it has come to bite her in the ass once more. She wonders if those words were right: that she's just a little girl playing ninja, ignoring the responsibility that comes with it.

She can try, but she'll never be _good_ , because at her core nothing has really changed. She can kill and heal, fight and protect - but deep down, she is overly aware that it's still the same as it was before. Only her resolution has changed, and as far as that has taken her… it's not enough.

Maru has seen her determination, her suffering. He has watched her struggle and get up, over and over - and he has to know that she has tiptoed around the issue. Not only in the last year, but for a much longer time.

She saw (so, so long ago, in the Forest of Death) that she had to change what she _did_ \- but she never changed who she _was_. It has always been the same, no matter how fierce and fearsome she became: she would still cry far too often, would still give in to her ire.

Always, and forever, Sakura is an emotional person. And now the punishment, the test for her true strength, has arrived.

She could give up. She could let Maru kill her, and Sasuke would be torn apart. Wouldn't that appease the imprints burned on their souls? Wouldn't it mean Konoha would be free?

Since when has she deluded herself into thinking she had a _chance_ at facing the strongest man alive, capable of defeating Naruto and slaughtering a whole army? She's broken. She can't fight like she learned to, she can't heal like she studied for. Chakra, a thing that used to come so naturally for her, is now hard to grasp and control.

If she had to face Sasuke again, she wouldn't be able to _look_ at him and stand her ground. It would be too much.

Her mindscape spreads around her; but it's not hers anymore. No, it's a replica of the battlefield. She can only watch as the moon returns to normalcy - a man subdues the Tailed Beasts, after killing his best friend. Kakashi is already dead. Nothing he could ever do would be able to put a dent in his defenses, but he tried anyway. There wasn't an ounce of hesitation, nor a chance of survival.

Sakura sees herself, standing in horrified silence. She watches Him wake them all up - and execute the Kages as a public display. He doesn't give them a chance, and though they fight back, there is absolutely nothing they can do. He is too strong now, leagues beyond any other human alive.

Gone are the impressive feats that the Alliance, as a whole, could perform together; the massive-scale attacks that the great players of the game could throw around (they're all dead now). Gone are people she loves, including Him - but she is far too deep in a vortex of pain and chaos, disbelieving confusion, to be able to truly understand it.

It's over. None of them can do anything, as he lets out a booming speech about peace - one charged with hatred and distaste for humanity as a whole. He doesn't believe they can achieve anything good on their own: so, _for the greater good_ , he will be the one to guide them from the shadows. No glory, no adoration. It's his _task_ , his duty - and he will fulfill it so there will be no more wars, no more bloodshed.

No one can stop him. No one can _do a damn thing_.

She can't, either.

Sasuke could have left, after this moment. He could have warned them, and disappeared into the night. He _should have_. But he didn't, all because of her.

Sakura watches younger herself begin to shake: her state is pitiful, but there are no black marks on her skin. There isn't a haunted look in those eyes, the one that she sees every time she looks at her own reflection. There are tears filled with hurt and a light in her gaze that, even now, she would immediately recognise as blind, undauntable love.

She remembers the cold breeze against her skin, the tiredness plaguing every single one of her muscles. Her unsteady steps, that she tried to make firm without much success. The questions she screamed at his back, each second moving her closer to the moment that would change it all.

She never really expected it to happen this way, though.

"Why are you doing this!? It's insanity!" Naruto would have been the one to scream the words, _but he was dead now_. The burning feeling that coursed her veins gave her strength. She had known that Sasuke fell to the darkness… but in that instant, she became so painfully aware of how deep he had fallen.

Sakura's lips tremble when she hears the spiel she launched on (she remembers every word, carved painfully in her very soul), the fearless attempt at _saving him_. Because all she could think about was that he was in a bad place… that he was alone and lost, driven by darkness.

Because her heart ached when she screamed _I love you, can't you see that?!_

And despite everything, she knew… she didn't want to lose him. She didn't want to watch _him_ lose himself. She had never been able to reach him, had she? But she had to try, she had to-

He turns around, so deceptively slowly. Sakura flinches when she sees those eyes again: they weren't indifferent. Oh, no. They were filled with dementia. Anger, pure hatred. The demons he carried, so awfully close to being unleashed upon the world.

She should have known better.

Time blurs for her: one moment she remembers this is a genjutsu, a punishment for her failures… others, she sees it all through her original perspective again. Past and present… does it matter? After all, the pain she feels is exactly the same.

"You don't understand," he says, voice low and dangerous. _You don't understand me, or the world, or shinobi… you don't understand anything._ Sakura blinks, because these thoughts are not hers, but she can feel them all the same, like sharp daggers echoing in her mind.

Sakura didn't see the warning. She was entirely oblivious to what it meant. She had foolishly thought that she could argue this and win: that her words would be enough to make him _understand_ her love. That it could all be okay, he just had to… He just had to come back.

She didn't know that he himself had forgotten the way home, that he was just as lost as she.

Her second mistake was to look past him, at the survivors of the war. These brave men and women, who seemed to be just… standing there. Dumbfounded, watching them. It pissed her off.

"What are you all doing?! You have to _fight!_ " she hollers, her throat sore and her voice raw. She must have looked fierce, giving them all hope once more. "Are you just going to stand there and _take it?!_ Aren't you going to _do anything?!_ " It sounded like she was rallying them into a stand against the traitor.

They hadn't known that she was pleading - begging them to help her, to make Sasuke _come back_ and make everything okay. She had relied the task of doing that on Naruto… but he was gone. And she didn't know anything anymore. Deep down, she knew nothing she could do would be enough. She would keep trying, running into the same wall over and over until it broke her, but _it wasn't enough_.

Ino had thrown the first kunai. It took half a second for the battlefield to explode into chaos, Sasuke gone from his former position, reappeared next to the blonde.

Sakura had gasped in surprise, eyes widening when the Yamanaka was effortlessly defeated. But Sasuke didn't stop. Something in his eyes, that has given her nightmares for months, goes wild. She is the tipping point. She pushes him over the edge, in a desperate effort to do the opposite… and he loses it.

Time freezes, and the torture begins.

He kills some faster than others, but is no less brutal. His murderous aura makes her shiver, charged with the deepest hatred. He hates them all, and he is a hundred percent willing to annihilate them all in order to fulfill his goal.

Insanity isn't pretty. She knows that he ends up losing himself in the fights, and wonders… if it was her fault. It feels like it. Sakura questions if he would have committed the same atrocities, had she not intervened… and she knows that the massacre wouldn't have happened.

_You killed us._

Gone. Sasuke was gone. He lost the fight against his inner demons.

She ran to him, tried to stop him… but he got rid of her with shameful ease. Sakura believed that the fact that he hadn't killed her had to mean something. Amaterasu's flames burned everything in sight, torn limbs sticking out of pools of blood, mangled bodies still trying to cling to life, amid screams of agony.

It wasn't until the last survivors were attempting to flee, that he turned around to face her. He had been merely standing there, away from her, and she called out with a weak voice. All she could muster. He was completely drenched in blood, to the point that his clothes stuck to his skin. He looked battered, but he hid the exhaustion well.

She hadn't known that the only thing that kept him standing, that allowed him to cling to life, was the hatred. That he was so close to _dying_ , his rationality consumed by unending rage.

No, Sakura had none of those things in mind. She was merely frozen in place, devoid of the majority of her chakra, of her ability to think and feel, close to a collapse.

"P-please, stop this…" She has begged a thousand times, but he ignored her every single one. The maddening cries of the fight drowned out everything else, even reason. And now that he looks at her, she can't even talk. There is too much in those eyes, things that are scary and painful and _wrong_.

He had injured her, yes, but so far he had been focusing on targeting _other people_. And she can't shake off the feeling that it was all because of her. To hurt her, to have an outlet for what she caused… she doesn't know.

Now (and then, too) it's just the two of them. Locked into a tangled, downward spiral. She stepped forward hesitantly, but immediately took a step back when he advanced. There was a grin that _wasn't his_ plastered on his features, predatory and knowing. She was cornered.

Sakura tries to close her eyes, but she can't. She hears herself cut her pleads short, replacing them with screams. She remembers the feeling of every single inch of her body, mutilated beyond recognition; her mind, replaying the massacre with the detail of the Sharingan and flooded with illusions of her worst nightmares - over, and over, and over.

She always knew that he can kill her in an instant, should he wish to do so. But he doesn't, and the torture extended for what felt like hours. Body, mind: nothing escaped that vengeful wrath. Not even her heart.

Sakura remembers how she tries to heal and reach out to him, but he doesn't let her. There is something strange in his eyes, and she reaches out… Maybe, at this point, she knows the end is near; maybe she wants to feel him, or use the last of her strength to try to save him once more.

She can't.

* * *

The memories replay in her mindscape at sonic speed, moments blurring into one another. Experiences that don't belong to her, emotions that she never felt. It drowns her in unfathomable pain and sorrow.

The genjutsu is merciless - and she can feel that her vital energy is disappearing, bit by bit. She is literally being consumed by the jutsu, as it tears parts of her spirit and replays them without ever stopping. It's stealing her life, and it will end up devouring her when there isn't more chakra to draw from.

It takes every ounce of her strength to block it out, because her body is responding to the replays as if everything was happening again. She can't find the air for her lungs, as every cut breaks her skin once more. She can't stop her heart from aching painfully, every time Sasuke plunges a fist into her chest.

It happened before, and it happens again: she knows she can't win, but she is physically unable to give up. Because there is no one else who can take the mantle, and as lost as she is… she _has to_. There is nothing else she could possibly do.

_Isn't that how my love for him works?_

The undefined voice cuts through all the others, a self-reflecting thought that feels so distant, it might as well belong to a different person. And she considers it: for her, there never _was_ another option, than loving him unconditionally.

What did he ever do to deserve it? When did a child's crush develop into this unyielding determination? When did her admiration, her fascination, become an affection so profound, that after everything that happened she was still unable to kill him?

She can't answer, because she doesn't know. He merely grew on her overtime, her emotions deepening enough that they slipped out of her control. She used to watch him from afar: when he was a _good child_ , alluring because he was cute and kind and seemingly unreachable. A prince in her young eyes, something out of a fairytale.

Because of Ino, she felt a strange _inspiration_ to try and do the impossible. It may have rubbed off on her, it might have been a bout of jealousy and envy, but for once in her life she had wanted to _win_. She wanted to achieve something, even if that was his care. It hadn't been more than child's play back then, but she had paid attention to him throughout the years.

Always, her mind wasn't set on _why_ , but rather, how she would finally win his heart. _Obsession,_ Maru called it. Interest, she counters; motivation. A goal. Her first step towards becoming the person she is today (or was, before the massacre).

And she loved him. She admired his talent, intellect and skill; she felt intrigued by the mysteries he hid behind a cold façade, she wanted to unravel the secrets of his heart. And lastly, he won her over during their time in Team Seven - when he showed a spark of emotion, of humanity. It proved that he was just like she, and she felt that if she kept trying, eventually she would get to him.

It happened like one develops a liking for coffee; it started like a moment of awe, the first time a person watches the sunrise. When they find their calling, a beauty that takes their breath away and gives them strength to fulfill their desires. It changes them forever, and she could never forget him.

Sakura's original curiosity and shy blushing (when she first saw him, so long ago) needed _years_ to become what it is today. Since the very beginning, he called for her attention and curiosity. Her respect, when he showed what he was capable of. Her wish to give it her all - her inspiration.

It's true that she has been petty and vain because of him, that she betrayed a friend because of it and did mean things - that she lost herself in her interest. But she also learned from him (and from Naruto) what it really means to have a _friend_ , to trust someone and do anything to keep them safe. To never abandon those she loves, no matter how dire the situation or how bleak the hope.

He showed her that he did care, and her love became all-encompassing for all the things that _Sasuke Uchiha_ means. Even after, that one fateful night, he proved he was willing to leave her behind, if it helped achieve his goal. Even then, there was awe at how brave and strong he seemed.

She loves him, because as cold and scary, twisted and broken as he is… Sasuke is amazing. There has never been a moment where she has been able to ignore him, where his smallest action hasn't caused a ripple in her heart.

She loves him, no matter what, because since the beginning he was an anchor for her deepest thoughts and emotions. And she will keep trying, until the bitter end, because it's unfathomable for her to watch him destroy himself and do nothing about it. She cannot lose him, even if he never was hers to begin with.

_Even if he will never be. A world without him is one I don't want to live in._

And if she dies… he will be gone too. If she gives up and lets Maru kill her, Sasuke will die. It tears her heart apart, but if it's near impossible to save him… she knows that saving the world too, saving Konoha, is certainly beyond her capabilities.

Yet she can't stand there and _do nothing_. Not anymore. There is no one else who could do it - she can't watch from the sidelines, and there is no one to best but herself and him. It's up to her now.

She never _was_ good at suppressing emotions, because they dominated her since before the Academy. She has spent so long trying to reach him… As someone who cares about him, and as a ninja of Konoha, she has to fight until the bitter end.

Sakura knows that she could never, ever give up.

Her resolve gives her strength to _fight back_ \- and so she starts analysing every bit of data that the genjutsu feeds to her. Every jutsu has a source, thin threads of chakra tying together creation and creator.

The key to diffusing most genjutsu is picking up on the patterns that mark the reality as _fake_ , the subtle cues that even the best users leave a trace of. More complex genjutsu add details (the Sharingan has a level of it that makes their illusions legendary, as practically impossible to break), or numb the senses and mind in order to slow down the target.

Maru's genjutsu, she finds out, is entirely different. It's only when she is under its effect, that she understands why Sasuke fell for it back at the rats' cave. There is no new information implanted in her brain, no false ideas that don't belong to her - and it doesn't come from the rat.

Instead, it's more like an all-encompassing spell that is making her brain relive all those memories - in response, her body reacts just the same as if it was happening in reality. She can't locate the source, so she attempts to disrupt her own chakra manually, as difficult as it is with the presence of the Ningyo.

It wears off, and for a moment her eyes blink back into awareness, the warm light of the sun falling upon her face. The sounds of the forest resume as if they had never been interrupted. She is sprawled on the ground, and every _real_ ache comes back to her.

A breath later, she is assaulted by the genjutsu again - it wraps around her like a blanket, seemingly filling her every pore and sinking through her skin, and she is launched back to the start of the massacre.

She dispels it again, disbelieving of the information she's gathering, but it only lasts an instant before she is pulled down again. Sakura feels dizzy, her energy waning a little bit more with every passing second, but a sense of triumph blooms within her.

The genjutsu isn't coming from Maru… it's coming from all around her, from the energy lingering in the air and the leaves. He is redirecting it, forcing a minimal amount of it into her body and making it press some metaphorical pressure points in her mind. It's doing nothing more than enhance every single one of her senses, though out of control; heightening her awareness to the point that she is losing herself in memories that are too vivid.

It's truly brilliant, basically letting her mind do all the work, and if not for her chakra control she would never have figured it out. Once she does, she starts channeling her own chakra and pushing against the Ningyo, with just enough force to make it constrict.

She disrupts her chakra, expelling the spare and letting the seal do its job. She opens her eyes again, feeling as drained and dizzy as she always does when the Ningyo cuts her off, but back into reality.

And now, she knows what natural chakra feels like. She doesn't dare to stand up yet, knowing that she won't have enough strength for it. As it is, she is barely staying conscious. Instead, she relieves part of the pressure that her chakra is applying against the Ningyo (and thanks several deities for the practice she underwent in knowing _exactly_ how to do this without choking herself), allowing the smallest amount of natural energy to seep through.

It causes a jolt in her heart rate, but it's small enough to maintain it under control. Painstakingly slowly, she starts gathering her own energies and blending them together. It takes far too long to do so, because if she messes this up she could die. She follows through the steps that Katsuyu made sure she remembers, for moving it around her body, bending it to her will and transforming it into usable chakra.

It burns, threatening to devour whatever energy she has left and dissolve her body from the inside out. Just a little bit more…

When she finally has enough, letting it course through her body more freely, Sakura is filled by the most exhilarating sensation: she feels _alive_ , filled with energy and capable of anything and everything. It's intoxicating, filling her senses and heightening her emotions to the point that every single one of them hurts. Sadness and despair mix with courage and love, and it all blurs together, clouding her mind.

It's like liquid fire is coursing through her veins, painful and glorious and corrosive and liberating.

Sakura pushes herself up to her feet, surprised that her aches are dulled and her body feels lighter. She feels that she can do _so much more_ with less chakra, more than she could ever have achieved by control alone.

This is the power that people like Naruto and Minato, Jiraiya and Hashirama wielded. Ages away from being as complete as some of them achieved, but leagues ahead of anything she has ever felt, except perhaps the release of the Yin Seal.

She calculates how long it will last, and is disappointed to find out that she needs to concentrate on gathering the chakra to be able to absorb it. It would still be suicide to do it while in the middle of a fight, but as long as she has a few seconds…

 _I can do this._ She feels tempted to say it aloud, to jump and clap and squeal like a little girl, because for once it feels like her insurmountable obstacles aren't so tall anymore. That there is finally a way for her to break through, and she has earned herself a chance at _winning_. Sachi's distant voice reminds her that she may or may not be drunk on power, but she doesn't care.

She feels more than hears the _buzzing_ in the air behind her; Maru has a distinctly watery aura to him, she notices. He makes the chakra flow through and around him with a mastery that leaves her in awe. It diminishes the sound of cutting through the atmosphere, barely displacing any energy at all… but she notices it.

Everything around her is vibrating with life, flowing so perfectly and freely that it's almost distracting. Time seems to slow down, as she calculates the trajectory of the rat and crouches down low. He flies overhead, sailing past her in near-silence. Even with her increased reflexes and speed, she just barely manages to stay out of the way.

Sakura doesn't give him a moment (she has to end this fight soon, or her advantage will be lost), darting forward and catching Maru mid-air. He slips between her fingers, his fur cool and giving off the illusion of wetness. Her contact pushes him off-course and makes him fly into a tree. He lands on the bark with elegance, and merely looks at her.

She remains in an awaiting stance, ready to counterattack the moment he decides to strike again. She's ready, more than she has ever been, and there is no fear in her heart. She thinks about Sasuke, and cannot wait to show him what she's capable of. _I'll save you_.

"You did it, ah. Congratulations," he whispers, and she doesn't miss how hoarse his voice sounds. She catches a hint of amusement in his words.

He jumps down from the tree and walks away, leaving her completely dumbfounded. Sakura blinks a few times, and when he doesn't come back after half a minute, she feels rage flood her every pore.

"What the hell?! SHANNARŌ! COME BACK HERE, YOU JERK!"

* * *

"You don't need me, ah," Maru insists, with a tone that suggests a rather significant amount of annoyance at her antics. "You proved yourself, there is no need for us to fight anymore."

 _But I want to beat you up!_ However, Sakura doesn't say it, limiting herself to angrily crossing her arms and pouting deeply. She needs to think about this carefully, because Maru is very damn good at dodging, even if it's in a verbal sense.

"You tried to kill me, you owe me," she counters, pretending to not be interested in the rat's work. She is still on the high of senjutsu chakra, and since she isn't burning it in a fight, it will take a while to dissipate. Sakura can't say she dislikes it.

"I also saved your life several times, ah."

The pinkette doesn't feel like giving in, but it's a fair point, so she concedes that argument for the time being. It is already late afternoon, and Maru has affirmed that the only reason he is still here is that he needs to undo the sealwork on Misho.

Sakura was rightfully pissed to know that there was a seal _in the kid's eyes_. And it has been there since his outburst in Frost Country. Maru nonchalantly commented that it was the best place to hide the ink; by showing his affinity with the rats, Misho became an official part of their so-called family. It was their duty to protect him, hence Maru's interest in the kid.

By extension, that made Sakura one of their _people_ , as she had become the caretaker of Misho and was more than willing to go to great lengths for him. After the outburst in Shimo, Maru placed a seal on him, restrictive of his pathways. It took months of practice, but by now Misho has proven that he can keep it under control.

 _You care about us, you asshole, don't act like you don't!_ Sakura is almost amused at how her Inner voice is a lot more rowdy due to the influence of the new chakra, and just barely manages to avoid voicing those thoughts out loud. Fondness, however, fills her heart… Maru did care about them after all, and she can only guess how difficult it must have been for him to accept it.

 _I just do, ah_. Questioning her - as if trying to find the reasoning for his own feelings. He was ready to kill her if it _helped_ , but he gave her every chance to do things right. The slugs had been watching their fight, after all, waiting to intervene if needed be.

"Why now?" she inquires, and then directs her gaze at Katsuyu. "And how could you ally against me?" The slug lets out a small squelch of what could be distress, almost _guilty_.

"Our King is dead, ah. We have lost our source of strength, so we will have to regroup to make a new one," Maru informs casually. Sakura's jaw goes slack at the revelation, and she is about to formulate another question when he continues. "By the time I become an individual again, ah, you will both be long dead. I am here because Twat needs his connection removed, and you needed a wake-up call, ah."

His apparent weakness, his debilitated state - even the increased frequency of his 'verbal tic' that sounds like a sigh, as if he were running out of breath. Sakura understands now, and it fills her with such strong anguish that her eyes almost tear up. Damn heightening chakra…

"That's so sad!" she blurts out, her voice rather high-pitched, and then she slaps a hand over her mouth, blushing.

"As your current mentor, Sakura, it was necessary to test you," intervenes Katsuyu, softly spoken as usual. "You have progressed immensely fast, but your training is far from over."

The slugs allowed Maru into the Shikkotsu Forest; something about ancient treaties that Sakura had no idea about. Part of her wants to ask about it incessantly (and she curses how easily excited she is right now), but mostly she feels offended and slightly betrayed.

"Don't concern yourself over this, ah," adds Maru, finally turning away from his work. As soon as he is free to move, Misho stretches and lies down on the grass, stiff after a good half an hour of being subjected to sealwork. "This world is careering into true chaos. Ancient beasts are awakening, the flow of natural energy has been disrupted, and your human countries are going to war."

 _War._ It's too soon for the world to be falling into it again, but Sakura can only inquire further, despite the unpleasant feelings it is sure to bring upon her. Maru glances at her, apparently considering if he should tell her, but he finally makes a sound that is suspiciously similar to a sigh and speaks:

"Your dear Uchiha brat, damn him and all his cheaty tricks, is about to push your village into a shithole so deep they might not even come out of it."


	37. Always with Me [Interlude IV]

_To withstand the hunger of time... It has to be strong, this love we have._

Hunger. An insatiable desire to seek power, to take mortal beings beyond their physical limitations, their psychological barriers and emotional bonds; making them daring enough to break the horizon of their worlds… into different realms. Different worlds. Forever chasing after something more, something greater, to better themselves.

"Isn't that adorable? You inherited the thirst for strength that drove your ancestors to tear whole universes apart! You're _special_ , Sasuke-kun!" _You're a monster_. But she doesn't say that. It's merely an implication within her words, poison that she fills them with. She does it graciously, nonchalantly - as if it was just something of general knowledge that doesn't need to be said aloud.

It's insulting, and she knows.

It's the truth - my destiny was always written before me. Since I was born, and when everyone died. I didn't know how far back it went: thousands of years and lives, one reincarnation after another… tangled in a fight of power and hatred. Neither side could win, and though we both inherited the wish to achieve peace, our methods differed greatly.

In the end, we weren't so different: Naruto and I both wanted to be the strongest, to make our dreams come true. That's all it's always reduced to, and no human can truly deny that they don't wish their egocentric wishes to become reality. Whether it's to help others or enslave them, they all are lead by the same principle.

"You're no different, you know?" Sakura comments, rolling her eyes. I give her a pointed look, because it is rather unnecessary of her to say it aloud. She snorts.

I already know. And I don't care - humanity isn't capable of ruling itself. Wills clash, and no soul is strong enough to rise above all others and impose one universal truth. No one but me. It's my duty, as the one who holds enough power, to put a stop to this madness.

…

Reincarnation. A chance to live again, a soul's wish to take form and shape the world. Spirits are timeless, which means they cannot alter anything, as time is change. Souls are much older than anything humanity knows, predating civilization and life - they are the representation of existence, the will to make form out of void.

Everything is constantly changing, yet in the flow of time there are places where the energy pools and spins, remaining stuck. Souls are made of this pooled energy, resonant colors melding together into a _concept_ \- a name, an idea. And they prevail: their sole purpose is to withstand the erosion of time.

They are a contradiction to the idea that nothing ever stays the same - and even if they change and evolve, because nothing can truly escape time, their core concept remains, through eons and dimensions; life and death.

Eventually, they created more complex vessels, capable of harnessing the power of souls and utilising it to shape the world. Thus, humanity was born.

...The scroll continues on a rant about spirituality. I skim through the characters quickly, but my mind has already moved on to different matters. There is something overwhelming when I think about the concept of my own _will_ , imprinted onto different bodies throughout many lifetimes. And, like an echo, Indra's soul will reverberate through eternity…

I'm only an inflection of a greater being. Even my wish for power comes from an instinct, bred in the Ōtsutsuki, a race who didn't belong to Earth; people who were always chasing said power. My hatred doesn't even belong to me. I only have the duties passed onto me. I was born for this - and there is no escaping destiny.

"Quit the pessimistic yapping, will you? You sound like Neji," the clone protests, holding her head as if she had a headache. What does she know of the grand scale of things? She's only a shard of a completely human soul - Sakura and I belong to entirely different worlds, even if centuries of dilution have made me more human than not.

Was her soul there, when Asura and Indra were alive? Has she been trailing after us, life after life? Or is she just someone new to the equation, someone insignificant in comparison to our roots, our history?

"You fucking _idiot_ , you've fallen in love during countless lifetimes, and you still question whether humanity is worth your interest."

I can't help looking at her quizzically, because what would she know?

"Did you miss the whole 'I have a connection to the innermost recesses of your soul' part of my existence? You allowed it to happen. I can see things you wouldn't be aware of even if you lived a thousand years." She responds, before I have the opportunity to think about asking. The clone mumbles something that I assume is an insult, but now I'm intrigued.

She seems to consider it for a moment, looking at me as if trying to find a worthy reason to heed my wish. It is still rather strange, to see myself under Sakura Haruno's evaluating gaze - it feels out of place to see anything but love in her eyes. Instead of a welcoming embrace, her scrutinous eyes seem to weigh whether _I_ deserve it.

...I suppose she has a point. I've failed too many times, and she has defeated me every time I tried to fight back. It doesn't matter how good I am - it seemingly will never be enough.

"Oh, please, stop, I'll talk!" she whines, crying out as if she were in pain. Even knowing it's her, I nearly flinch - that was unexpected. She smiles sweetly, and then clears her throat theatrically, conveniently exposing the marks on her neck.

I should have gotten used to it by now, but I haven't. However, I know better than to look somewhere else.

"Your great _race_ of creepy, power-hungry aliens was always kind of _retarded_ in the love department, for all the knowledge they held. In particular, they were fascinated by humanity's capability to care for another, or for things that weren't _themselves_ , so deeply - Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, impressionable little fool, was the first one to understand the grief of a world torn by war."

At times, her voice becomes deeper, wavering as if spoken from underneath the water. The office starts to fade out of existence, replaced by blurry shapes made of dark crimson. Past the screams of others, that never really go away, it almost feels like I'm in a whole different world. However, I still hear her sigh.

"Your clan was… innocent. Even though they shared humanity's thirst for infinite knowledge and strength, their true goal was immortality - not to dominate one another. They adapted and learned, just like us… they had spent a long time seeking different sources of power, so they were used to it."

Her eyes have a strange glint to them, almost glazed over, and as always I wonder what thoughts course her mind. If Sakura was a bit of a puzzle, her clone isn't any better.

"They learned from us… even things we didn't want to teach them, or hadn't thought about. Like children, even though they were much beyond our wisdom and technology… they gained our virtues, and our vices. Strengths and weaknesses - love and hate." She takes a deep breath, and then shakes her head slightly, as if trying to cast away bad thoughts. "Kaguya fell in love with us, with one man in particular… yet she too succumbed to _our_ curse."

Only her silhouette remains bright, against the darkening colors of a dusk long past. It seems oddly out of place, a reminder that my surroundings are just an illusion. I tried… and neither the Sharingan, nor the Rinnegan, were capable of breaking them. They aren't genjutsu - only a reflection of my own mind.

"...My ancestor fell in love too, didn't he?" It's not necessary to ask, but she seems to have lost herself in her own ruminations. A rather strange sight, as she is always prepared to deal with anything and everything - her sole existence is a constant fight against me. Her eyes flicker to my own, and I know I've hit bullseye. "And it was you."

It's her turn to suppress a flinch - and it's bizarre to see this type of body language on her. While her open expression of emotions hasn't changed since the doppelgänger took shape, she was never unguarded. Always fighting, angry, willing to tear me apart. This reminds me more of the real Sakura, the one I haven't truly seen in over a year.

She looks vulnerable, but I don't press the advantage. It's not a sound idea, as it could be a trap - and she will likely recover, and punish me for it. I've had enough of trying to break her - in that regard, I'm starting to believe she is stronger than I am, and as strange as it sounds, it fills me with dread to consider that possibility.

"...Like moths to a flame. Humans were always fascinated by those like you, and I wasn't an exception," she mutters, at last. She tilts her head to the side, looking at me as if I was someone different. Someone she doesn't hate to death. "You didn't need any protection or help… no, you were much stronger than any human. But your heart had become weak, and your curiosity made you get too close."

And Sakura _smiles_ , fondness and nostalgia covering a face whose expressions I can't remember seeing like this.

"Reincarnation, huh? We were drawn to each other - even through different lifetimes. I never gave up on you. I wouldn't even remember if not for the marks on _your_ soul. You were closer to immortality, after all, so each time you were reborn, you kept more pieces intact than normal humans would. Without knowing why, you longed for finding home for your heart, even though your strength was unmatched. And without knowing why, I seeked a man that was as fascinating as the world itself, even though I couldn't remember his name."

...Her first name wasn't Sakura, and she wasn't a child of spring. She was born in the winter, and half of her family succumbed to famine by the time she was five.

Human souls were too weak to truly survive reincarnations, and some pitied them. Power, we thought, was truly a wonderful thing. But their emotions - the strength of their hearts. It left a mark on the world, one we couldn't understand. Their passion for love and war. Even if they couldn't remember their past lives (and our descendants would grow to forget, too, for the most part), they still retained emotions.

And she was a fascinating being - her emotions flowed so fluently, her spirit so great. She must have reincarnated many times, because even when she was an immature child, there was something about her eyes that spoke of intelligence and knowledge. Eyes that would, overtime, gain an edge of wisdom and compassion. She was an avid learner, and one of the first to understand chakra and learn to control it. It only made her empathy increase tenfold.

The scenes blur in front of my eyes, too fast to be consciously aware of it all, but their intensity only grows. And her image becomes clearer, nearer, brighter. It hurts, even though on the surface it doesn't look like her: there is nothing remarkable to her dark hair and scrawny figure, but her green eyes are the same.

The clone has been replaced by her figure, and I find myself frozen, lost in her gaze. Her smile is shy, as she never learned the courage that I have known her for. How long did it take to snap her out of acting more like a student, a friend, and less like a servant? How long, for her to finally hold a stare?

Those eyes were always intriguing, always brimming with emotions that I couldn't understand. She cared too much, about too many things. And despite the fact that she wasn't as powerful as me, she never gave up without a fight. She never abandoned someone she cared for - not even me, after I succumbed to the Curse of Hatred, getting lost in emotions too strong to express.

Over, and over, and over.

She chased me one lifetime after another, always there for me even though I was too blind to see it. And if I wasn't, I would soon focus on quests of revenge and power. But she never gave up.

She took bodies that were as far removed from my blood as it was possible - and her spirit only grew overtime. Premature genius, overflowing emotions, prowess with chakra that was unheard of. Almost always, she became a healer, as if Hagoromo's teachings hadn't vanished entirely from her mind.

She vowed to remain human, my logical counterpart. It had been a dare, the first time I got her to lash out in anger: _humans are strong too!_ Even though they lacked our kekkei genkai (which gave us an edge, even if centuries of mixing had diluted it), our ancient roots that even drove us to seek more power by instinct (which few humans could truly match, even if we had lost the majority of our original traits).

I had become disillusioned with the sins of humanity, yet she vowed to show me their brightest side.

"Prove it," I say, once more, as I always have "Prove it to me."

...It's ironic. When I accepted her challenge, when she issued it, it was all a reiteration of the same story, told thousands of times.

But she could never do it, nor could I push her away. We danced through the same steps, life after life, unwilling to give up. She chased me without understanding why, the same way I couldn't forget her.

If not for the exceptional circumstances of the war, I would have lived my entire life without knowing about my own origins.

If the Oto-Konoha observatory hadn't detected the shift in the moon, I would never have found the scrolls that spoke about legends of a clan hidden in Earth's satellite - and mentioned, almost off-handedly, facts that would change everything.

"I will," she snaps, dragging me out of my reverie. Her hair is pink again, and the contours of an ancient castle have shifted back to my office. I blink a few times, to adjust to the light - I know a headache will be incoming, and the dizziness and nausea threaten to knock me off my balance. With the practice of a shinobi, I hold my ground.

The only thing I can't help is the torrent of emotion coursing through my veins - almost like a ray of light amidst the darkness, clashing so violently against the hatred that I feel ill. In itself, it doesn't feel like something evil or painful - it's its hidden meaning and connotations, now in plain view for me to perceive.

"...The fun thing is, she doesn't understand. That while your bond with Asura's incarnations is so strong, it doesn't share the mutual, _human_ love that you and I developed for each other," the clone mutters, though her voice has lost its soft edge. Her eyes are hard again, and she seems to be amused by the terrible irony of it all. "She wonders, like you did, how could she ever compare. But she can't get the answers, so consider yourself a lucky bastard."

She could never kill me. She tried to, even if it was to spare me from the path I had taken. But I did, even though it was always by accident, or something in the spur of the moment. Time after time, I let myself drown in my own sins - and I did unspeakable things to her. Her spirit never broke. She never gave up, and died with a smile that has been burned in my memory.

Each one of my incarnations possessed the Sharingan, and each one of them would indubitably clash with Naruto's, which remained closer to his own branch of descendants. And there she was, always a commoner girl who was always so _human_ , trying to save me - trying to save _us_ , running in parallel to us in each of our lifetimes.

…

The deadlock was a three-way all along, even if it was easy to overlook the third piece. And the same notes would repeat, playing the same song: two rivals, and a lover. She could never match our unearthly power, but her strength was equal to ours, in her own very human way. Her courage, her very heart, was the representation of everything good and bad in this civilization.

She remained strong when I crumbled, and she always recovered after falling, unlike Naruto, who only ever learned love. She was our balance, our middle point - an anchor to both sides of humanity.

Her vow wasn't to be the greatest.

It was to prove humanity's unique brand of beauty - to prove they were worth loving, believing in, even admiring.

' _Today has been a weird morning._ ' I massage my temples, trying to get every thought and image back into its righteous place, but I know it's a lost cause. Just like this feud has to be - Naruto is dead now, but when I die, we will meet again, and the cycle will repeat. It's too late, once more.

What will happen with Sakura, then? This doppelgänger (rightfully furious at me, tainted by my own corrupted soul) is only proof that _her_ soul has been shattered. Does it mean she won't reincarnate? That, when she dies, she will be _gone_?

The thought awakens the memories of a thousand lives I can't remember - the Sharingan can't picture the scenes, but the trauma of the emotions remains. The Uchiha's curse, to never be able to truly forget - to care too much, and fall into darkness too easily.

And it hurts in a way I can't fathom. Losing her, truly _losing_ her _forever_. Even though I could barely bring myself to kill her (and failed), I succeeded in destroying her. Strings of thoughts flash before my eyes, but I can't grasp them anymore. It's too much - a feeling I know too well.

"You have to win," I muster, though I'm barely aware of the fact that the plea has escaped my lips. Sakura was never meant to fight me, she merely stood by my side, unconditionally - but I've broken the cycle.

The doppelgänger doesn't say anything, but she and I both know the truth.

If she doesn't defeat me, it's over. But how could she possibly change what has remained stagnant for so long?

* * *

"Oooi! Lee! Fiiiiight me!" I'm only slightly aware of how I drag out the syllables, almost as if I were drunk. In a way, I am a little drugged on power. It's a beautiful sensation - my body is working so fast, so flawlessly, that even the world seems slow and sluggish in comparison. I can do anything, and it's freeing and exhilarating.

I've spent too much time under the influence of the Ningyo, and as much as this burns every cell of my body, it feels wonderful.

Okay, maybe I _am_ a little bit excited. It always happens whenever I manage to gather natural chakra, as small as the doses might be. My practice has extended throughout the summer, but I haven't gotten used to the rush of natural chakra. I don't think I want to - it's good to feel alive.

' _You don't say,_ ' mutters Sachi, rolling her eyes.

A meadow extends behind her, the silhouette of Konoha drawn against the cerulean veil of the summer sky. I remember when she was nothing more than a chalk-white drawing on a black background… how simple things were back then. I suppose she also became more lively with time.

So many things have changed since the war. I went from denial, to despair, to where I am now. Even after I accepted what happened, what Sasuke had become… it felt like too much. I'm a cripple now, but I know that if I give up, no one would be able to stop him. By some twist of fate, I ended up being the only one capable of affecting him on a deep level.

I wouldn't be able to run from this, even if I wanted to.

For some reason, he couldn't get rid of me. I don't know if it's because he still cares, but I'm not going to hope for a change of heart. I'm the one who has to move and make things happen now, and nothing is going to stop me from trying.

Lee abandons his running in a handstand to look at me, a determined and excited expression on his face. He always puts his all into every action, even sparring. I suppose the prosthesis that Katsuyu and I made for him only increased his juvenile energy.

' _There's so many wood jokes I could make here,_ ' points out Sachi, as perverted as usual, making me blush a little. I push the thoughts aside, focusing on Lee. Katsuyu and some of the other slugs helped me put together a replacement arm and leg for him - we still needed resources from Taki, and it's nowhere near what my shishou could have done back in Konoha, but they're functional.

He doesn't really need to expel chakra like ninjutsu and genjutsu users would, and the wood has been reinforced with sap to prevent burning. It feeds off his chakra like a normal limb would, and it's about as resilient as hardened steel, as I found out soon after fighting him for the first time. The only downside is that it doesn't have the chakra system of a living human, so it's a hindrance if he opens the Gates.

He's still working on his balance, but as he yells 'YOSH!' and rushes towards me, I know that I better be ready for it. Lee is a master of taijutsu, after all - even with a blindfold and his hands behind his back, he could be able to kick major butt. I fall into a stance that has been drilled in my brain by years of practice, and smirk at him knowingly.

Lee isn't oblivious to how much I enjoy being able to fight. He finally has a worthy, dedicated opponent. Tenten watches us from the edge of the clearing, her eyes hard but full of interest. It's a radiant day, and the end of summer is approaching, but the air is still warm and filled with lively scents.

If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend I'm in Konoha once more. I know that, if I ever go back, it will be different. Sasuke destroyed the Hokage Mountain, and I know through my visions that the village has become rundown. A shadow of its former self, just like him and I.

I dodge the first hit by instinct, throwing my head to the side and letting Lee's arm sail over my shoulder. I put my weight into a sidestep, letting him pass me. Obviously, his reaction times are insanely good, because he doesn't miss a beat. A roundhouse kick comes for my legs less than half a second later, and I deflect it with an arm, trying to keep a little bit of distance.

A good thing about training with a shishou who throws boulders at her students, is that you tend to get rather skilled at dodging. Envisioning Shizune suffering in the same manner makes me feel only slightly better.

Lee doesn't land a hit for half a minute, and I put all of my energy into dodging. He's fast, but senjutsu gives me an edge I didn't have before. Would I be able to face him if he had the Gates open? I know Sasuke's speed is practically inhuman, so my own is what I need to work on.

Being in this state is like having fire coursing through my veins - and it hurts like hell. I can slow down the damage to my body with small bouts of healing chakra, but that doesn't soothe the pain. In fact, because of how corrosive senjutsu chakra is, healing _with_ it is rather difficult. I suppose there has to be a tradeoff for the power I gain…

My reflexes are better than they've ever been, and with less chakra I can do more. However, I can feel my strength waning every second, and I haven't gotten the hang of recharging while in the middle of a fight yet. Gathering natural energy requires my own to be perfectly still, or else it will be repelled. Maybe it's like magnets… by irradiating senjutsu chakra, the natural one around me is pushed away. It's one of the thing sensors use to detect hidden threats.

The first hit Lee lands sends me tumbling through the ground, but I manage to stand on my feet and make them stick to the ground for support. The fight will be over soon, and I better end it on a win. I haven't spotted many openings on his stance, but his balance is still rather whacky, and he lacks control on the new limbs. A good hit that sends his centre of mass to the prosthetics, and I could gain the edge that I need.

Months ago, I was never able to win a fight, not even against him. My body was too sluggish under the strain of the Ningyo. It feels like it was so long ago…

Today, though, I want to try something different - nature transformations. Senjutsu chakra is too wild, but I will need that precision if I want to have a shot at defeating Sasuke.

It's important to remember that the strongest enemy can still make mistakes - and I will need as many chances as I can get to punish him for his, and survive my own.

I reach out with my chakra, to the ground under my feet. This area has been designated for training, so a little bit of destruction won't piss off the slugs. I channel the energy in strings, connecting it to the earth and weaving it between the molecules that hold it together, tightening my hold and separating the pieces I want to use.

I pull up a wall of earth in front of him, and he somersaults over it without missing a beat. I spread my arms, separating the wall into two pillars and launching one of them behind me, towards his predicted landing spot. It's much faster than my previous Earth Style movements, and it catches him off-guard.

He's still able to dodge the first pillar, but not the second one, as he doesn't have time to ready his stance. I press my advantage, and put as much chakra into a punch as I can. It's the last of my senjutsu chakra, and compressing it is akin to trying to hold a stormy sea to make still. It slides through my skin and the Ningyo much more easily than a normal hit would have, and I direct it towards Lee's prosthetic arm.

He flies through the air, skidding on the grass on his back, almost to the edge of the clearing. I feel drained as soon as the chakra leaves me, aching all over in places I only recently knew could hurt like this. Even as a medic, the strain of senjutsu is something else.

I have to push through. It's the only way.

I stop to regain my breath, my limbs trembling, and I resist the urge to hunch over. Instead, I focus my gaze on Lee - he hasn't gotten up yet, clearly regaining his own bearings. He can feel every bit of pain caused by disrupted chakra on the prosthesis, and a hit as hard as mine must have caused a jumble.

With a nod to each other, we dismiss the spar as finished.

It's not a win, but I know I can make it one in due time.

* * *

"The moon will crash into the Earth," I explain, knowing that no amount of fancy words will make the impact greater. "Iwagakure's new regime is getting ready for war, and we don't have enough loyal forces to defend the village from both threats at once."

The Clan Heads, plus the rather submissive Kazekage, stare in silence. What could they possibly say to news like these? They hold their gazes up with an air of severity, some of them exchanging calculating looks. I know some are still plotting a coup, but it doesn't matter - both they and I know they can't win.

In the past, this would be the moment to gather the strongest long-range fighters, or the ones with greatest raw power… but there's none of them now. I'm the only one capable of defending the village, but I can't remain here. Someone has to stop the falling of the moon, and in that case I truly am alone in having enough power to face its threats.

I can't divide my power, because as much as I would like to be confident, Sakura keeps reminding me that _the fucking moon is falling on our heads_. Now is not the time to think I'm strong enough to stop it, and there are no second chances. Typical ninja business.

Hanabi is gone. The anger I feel at having her slip between my fingers like that can't compare with the dread that her situation causes me. She has been _here_ for so long… that, as Sakura helpfully pointed out, even I grew to care for her.

I _have_ to go and deliver the revenge that is due. I have to protect this village and world, but I know I can't do both. Not alone.

I think about it for much longer than the meeting lasts - it's merely a formality to inform the village of it. They won't be left without care, but it would be impossible to prevent a complete disbanding without someone strong to hold them here...

Strangely enough, the clone doesn't protest when I resort to introspection once more, and try to find the thin traces of Sakura's chakra within mine.

* * *

It's never winter in Shikkotsu. The slugs are capable of manipulating the weather, through jutsu and careful modification of the vegetation, and even when the rest of the world is freezing, the skies remain clear and the temperatures warm. The air remains humid and fresh even though, by all accounts, there should be a never-ending drought.

The atmosphere feels charged with life, and it's quite baffling to think that, not long ago, I wasn't able to perceive an ounce of it. Much less manipulate the natural energy that hums all around me, cycling through the different forms of life. It's never a thing that can be dominated by power - rather, something that has to be welcomed into the body.

I suppress my signature slightly, letting it fill the empty space that my irradiated chakra had been occupying a moment ago. The trick is to understand that every living being has this chakra within themselves - they resonate, and one can affect the other. They are the same, just different shapes. Dragging it into myself, I start the slow process of blending it with what I already have.

The process lasts maybe a fraction of a second. I don't need more, and I'm already moving as I start to turn the chakra into something I can use. It's tricky, but the Ningyo has taught me to keep track of how much chakra I have, constantly.

Every movement I make is a precise calculation of how much there is in my reserves, how much more I can blend before I run out of my own chakra (using pure natural chakra would eat me from the inside out), and the amount I'm spending.

Every second of a fight has be teetering on the edge of my own capabilities.

I have practically learned Lee's style by heart, and Tenten's little tricks with the many weapons she hoards. I have spent entire days solely meditating, trying to understand the finer working of chakra and my own body. And I have studied, learned from Katsuyu and the slugs - techniques based on the Slug Style, that I can't even try to use without damaging my body.

I'm fast enough to fight against the first three Gates, and I have enough finesse in control to bend water and earth to my will like a second nature. My creativity and resistance with genjutsu has increased as well, because when fighting an Uchiha, no amount of genjutsu training is ever enough.

For once, I have a _chance_ at breaking my old limits like I never could before. I can _do something_ \- senjutsu is incredibly efficient. My hits are almost as strong as they used to be, and I can heal faster. Time, however, is ticking: all of this is wearing out my body, despite the obvious improvements.

I can't practice forever, or give Sasuke the chance to get even stronger. It has already been two years since the war - almost as much as I spent training under Tsunade-shishou. It's enough time to overcome the majority of my new limits, even if my body and style have changed rather drastically.

Even this knowledge doesn't prepare me for the moment in which I collapse onto the ground, heaving, my entire body twitching with an overload of chakra. My surroundings blur out, the trees twisting and reshaping themselves into the ones back at Konoha. I don't need a double-take to know I'm in my own mindscape.

The only thing I can think of is expelling all of the extra chakra I had been gathering during my meditation, and praying that he's not here to kill me. He has to know as little as possible of my plans, because the advantage of surprise might be the only chance I have.

The force keeps growing steadily, until it feels like I'll burst. Then it stops, just on the verge of being unbearable. Every nerve in my body is firing up in agony, and the Ningyo can't possibly contain all of this.

" _Step back! You're killing me!_ " I choke out the words as loudly as I can, and for an instant I fear he won't stop. It's definitely his signature chakra, invading my own space with an almost casual air. Nonchalant, unaware of how, if he pushes a little bit further, the Puppet Seal will rupture and I'll die.

He does move away, though. I breathe air that had been shut out of my lungs before, releasing a shuddering sigh and trying to focus on my surroundings. My head is pounding heavily, and my limbs feel frozen. It's awfully familiar to what the Ningyo used to be like, and I'm already angry at how easily affected I am.

There is a distant roar, a chorus of bells mixed with the well-known cries: the voices of the victims killed in his massacre scream for his blood. It takes a few seconds to locate the source of this chaos - a shadowy figure staying ten meters away from the edge of the forest. Way too close. It's merely instinct that causes my blood to run cold, my body to tense, my heartbeat to speed up.

As much as I care for him, he's dangerous and still an enemy. I block out the memories, instead focusing my energy on standing up. I can't show any weakness, but I would say his presence has already showed a fatal flaw.

Against what my fear is screaming at me to do, I force down the shivering and take a serene stance, stepping closer. Sasuke doesn't move an inch, but his eyes are fixed on my own. The idea of a greater power passing down judgement on me doesn't escape my awareness.

"The fuck you want?" I inquire rather harshly, and I realise belatedly that the pressure on my chakra _might just have_ pushed Sachi closer to me. My soul has been compressed - and my Inner voice has folded back into me. I want to slap a hand over my mouth, but that wouldn't help the situation. I feel exhausted after pushing the senjutsu chakra out.

He couldn't have picked a better moment…

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and I feel my muscles twitch. _Nope, nope, nop-_

"Collaboration."

I blink a few times, trying to discern if this is a genjutsu. Or a prank. Yes, Sasuke pranking me seems almost more logical than what he just said. It has to be a joke, right? He's just humoring me before ending my life. No expression crosses his stoic face, and then it sinks in that he's as serious as always.

"You- _WHAT_?!" I explode, waving my hands in the air, as if that could help with understanding. _Damn you, Sasuke Uchiha, why do you make no sense?_ Then the other eyebrow goes up in a fashion that seems almost _amused_ (if this wasn't Sasuke we're talking about), and I realise I said that aloud. Or maybe he caught the thoughts, since we're so close.

 _Access to innermost thoughts_ , I remember. And I've been looking into his eyes, even though I know they're dangerous, purely to show I'm not cowering in his presence. Freaking hell, this is so not fair.

"The moon will crash into the earth if I don't stop it," he repeats - and then I realise I'm remembering _him_ saying that before, even though I wasn't there. I already have a headache, and this isn't helping any. I catch an edge of uneasiness to him, despite the fact that his words have no inflection to them. That's right, he can't hide from me either. "I need capable shinobi to stay in the village and protect it while I'm gone."

Coming here for _help_ must have taken a lot.

" _I wouldn't care if you try to kill me, as long as you stay_."

His mouth hasn't opened, but mine does when I hear the words. Now it's his turn to repress the urge to slap his mouth shut, I can tell he wants to. This is absolutely retarded, and as awkward as it gets. We're supposed to be enemies, yet here we are acting like complete fools. This is about as anti-climatic as a re-encounter goes. I can't help the snicker.

...Wait.

"What are you on about?" I inquire, realisation and disbelief properly sinking in. The moon? Why would the moon fall out of its orbit? Dread starts running under my skin, because there is no reason for him to lie about it. Sasuke has always been too blunt to deceive in that manner - and he has no need for a trap, after all. Unless there's some ulterior motive to get me to go to Konoha, but I doubt it. It doesn't seem like his style.

He doesn't look like he wants to explain, but he has to know I won't just _accept it_ without asking questions. It's what I ought to do, as a suspicious shinobi and a curious person. It's true that he could _probably_ try to force me to, yet it doesn't seem like it. He's just waiting, as if trying to figure out what to do.

Truth be told, he probably hadn't expected me to behave like this.

"There is a… man. Toneri Ōtsutsuki - a descendant of Hamura," he finally says, crossing his arms over his chest. "Apparently, that side of their clan has lived on the moon for a long time. He's the last one, and has deemed humanity worthy of a purge, for our weaponised use of chakra. He kidnapped Hanabi Hyūga, and is preparing to annihilate us all."

Damn, he's good. If I had to explain that… it would have taken hours. Obviously, a lot is missing, but it's enough to pique my interest.

"...He took Hanabi?" _What's with you all creepy weirdos kidnapping her?_ That's the first thing I can think of, slightly surprised. Kurenai spoke of how a large amount of children from important families were kidnapped - and Sasuke's particular interest on the new Hyūga heiress. No one has been able to even figure out where the hostages are, even less get close to them. Hanabi herself was always next to him, so she was even harder to target. "Who could be strong enough to do that?"

His reaction is a mix of irritation at the reminder, and something awfully close to pride at being recognised as _very damn strong_. Nonetheless, he failed.

"He's good," he offers, frowning a bit harder. "That is why I can't divide my strength in order to protect the village."

"...And you expect me to be able to?" No, scratch that - he expects me to walk into his lair and _help_ him with his tyranny, under the excuse of defending Konoha? The nerve of this guy! A vein starts thumping particularly strongly on my forehead, but I resist the urge to smack him. I appreciate being alive, thank you very much.

Sasuke gives me a _look_ that almost makes me blush. Almost. It's a bit of condescension and 'yes, of course, why wouldn't I'.

He seems to do that a lot: he merely implies things without saying them. He knows I know about all the implications of this, all the connotations. It kind of amazes me, really. Communication without words at its finest, even though I'm sure we're incompatible in an impressive amount of levels.

"On two conditions." I spring up a finger, with an almost lecturing air, but nothing in his demeanor changes. I'll take that as a yes. "I want Lee and Tenten to come with me."

There is only the slightest surprise at the notion that they're alive. He seems to be remembering his 'fight' against Lee - and wondering how, if that didn't kill him, did he survive. I, on the other hand, look at this from a more pragmatic point of view: I want as much backup as I can get. I've learned the strength Lee gains while using the Gates, and Tenten has her own brand of techniques that could level mountains if used properly (she did learn to use explosives to max efficiency, after all).

There is no question to whether or not I'll accept, and Sasuke knows that too. A nagging voice in the back of my head considers, once more, how suicidal I'm willing to be for my village and, or, this guy. In case of things going awry, it should be possible to get my teammates out of his sight with a reverse summoning. I'm the only target he should care about… so if this is a way to drag me into the final stage of my challenge, so be it.

I'm not running, and as much as he might have changed it, Konoha is still my home. I don't know what happened to my parents, but I can't just abandon them.

Sasuke grunts in agreement, and seems to linger around for a few more seconds - waiting. What he and I expect, I'm not sure of. Until now, I was certain he hated humanity too much to defend them like this; and I didn't expect to meet him again in this manner.

"Our challenge will be on hold," I continue, trying to not make my nervous swallowing obvious. "I need your word that all of this is strictly in Konoha's defense, not a trap or an excuse to get me to fight you." I look into his eyes, uncertainty shoved to the back of my mind, because this is the moment of truth. If he's lying, it might be my only chance at knowing.

He doesn't slip, and his heartbeat doesn't speed up at all. The vibes I get off him don't indicate treachery of any kind, when he nods quietly. It's as good as it's gonna get. It might be foolish, but I can't abandon my village to the chance that he's not telling the truth.

"I will be waiting in Konoha," he says, after an uncomfortable amount of time. The words have an air of finality to them, and moments later he has turned around and left as swiftly as he appeared. The overwhelming pressure in the air disappears gradually, and I notice I've been staring after him for at least five minutes. Everything is quiet, now that he's gone.

"...What the hell just happened?" mumbles a voice to my left, and I turn to see Sachi. She seems to have a headache, too. I feel nauseous, sick - like something was squeezed inside me, and then torn away.

"I have no idea."

* * *

"You _actually_ went and asked for help, after all you've done to her?" Our gazes lock, but I know my expression is devoid of emotion. There is nothing I can say - Sakura seemed like the best option I had, as I've seen her deliver punches capable of leveling mountains. I know that, during the war, she became a fearsome kunoichi in terms of strength.

Her heart was, and still is, too weak. But if she has retained a fraction of that power, she is the only one I can think of to defend the village. She has good analysation and strategy skills, and as Tsunade's apprentice, she should know about leadership.

She has tried to kill me in the past, but she could never truly betray me. I realised that only in hindsight, when I looked back at the moments that determined she had given up on me.

In truth, Sakura hadn't. Like me, she couldn't, nor did she want to.

"She isn't…!" the clone snaps, and then closes her mouth rather fast. She almost let out something that I shouldn't know. For once, however, I know what it is.

"I know she's maimed." The doppelgänger frowns, almost snarling at me - almost like she is about to do something brash. A sign of panic. "And that she has been training. I could feel it in her."

A fluidity to her movements, to her energy, that wasn't there before. Different, even, from the coiled power that she held during the war. There is an air of strong chakra to her, despite the fact that her reserves aren't as big as they used to be.

And I know that, in order to survive this long, Sakura must have overcome some of her old flaws - in order to reach this far, she must have pushed beyond her limits. Two years: I'm sure she has figured out how to get stronger by now.

The doppelgänger tried to hide it from me, most likely to throw me off; perhaps even to protect _her_. It was common logic, though, to figure out that Sakura has been doing something to give her the power she needs. The clone isn't perfect, after all.

But she doesn't miss a beat, unforgiving as always.

"You know, she probably still thinks you raped her."

 _What_. She smiles, proud of herself, as surprise knocks my thoughts out of place. Why the hell would she think- why would _I_ do that?

"...Oh. Right," the clone continues, checking her nails absentmindedly. "You know, the whole hating her enough to torture and try to destroy her. Something about a maniacal rampage and trying to push _all_ of her buttons just because you felt like it. What's the difference, really?"

I can't think. She has successfully put pressure on the worst emotions, and in truth… she has a point. Why _wouldn't_ I? Although I can remember every detail with painful accuracy, it's too overwhelming to remember what happened during the massacre clearly. I didn't, right? I wouldn't have…

"Look at you flail like a fish outta the water," she snickers, but even I can't muster anger at her. There is only confusion and an overwhelming sense of dread, to the point of pain. It's hard to breathe. "You're just another depraved human, dear. Of course you would have, you've done it in the _past_."

Orochimaru had experiments - I didn't see all of them, but I knew they were there. I labelled it as something _bad people_ did. Something I wouldn't do, because I was merely gaining power for a just cause. But after Konoha's dirty secrets came up, and the person who was supposed to be a villain turned out to be a hero… everything shattered. It stopped mattering.

"Her demeanor, sweetheart. Defiant, yes, but filled with fear. Submissive by instinct," she goes on, snorting in mockery. "Did you see how she could barely look at you? How she flinched every time you moved, watching you like cornered prey? Almost as if someone had broken her in."

I'm not stranger to torture, particularly the psychological kind. However, there's something about this concept in particular that raises hell in its wake. Especially, or maybe because, it's _Sakura_. I can hardly think of something worse for her, except maybe the loss of Konoha as a community. Would there be anything worse I could do? Did I exploit this weakness?

I wouldn't have. I _didn't_.

I need to know, and I nearly dive recklessly into the maddening memories, before remembering that it was the doppelgänger who brought this up. Whether it's true or not: she just wants to cause me suffering. I can't risk losing my mind completely… but she knows that even rejecting the truth, it will poison my soul. She wants me to doubt myself, to debilitate me.

She's good, and at this point, I can't deny that she has a strong reason to hate me this much.

* * *

"This is madness." Kurenai's expression reflects her opinion rather well. If she thought I was determined before, she probably thinks I'm suicidal now. Either way, she doesn't do anything to stop me. Perhaps she knows that nothing will deter me from returning to Konoha.

"You'll need to collaborate to defend the village, or seek refuge elsewhere." Shibuki nods at my words, and I can already see plans of action forming in his mind. Takigakure is in good hands. I turn to Misho, who seems rather unhappy at the prospect of being left behind. However, there is no way I would risk bringing him with us. There is no need. Shikkotsu is not a place for him, either. "We'll be back."

Tenten and Lee were slightly worried about my blank-out during a mix of meditation and a sparring exercise, but they haven't said no, either. They will be coming with me, and hopefully the seals drawn on the skin will be enough to pull them to safety if needed be.

Using the slug's chakra network, moving from one end of a contract to the other merely requires the chakra for executing the technique… and someone capable of transforming natural chakra into something that won't kill humans.

After sorting out every issue and planning for the most likely possibilities, we depart. Katsuyu has stationed slugs all around the perimeter of Konoha (it's rather heartwarming for her to show care about the village), so it doesn't take much for us to find ourselves standing on familiar grounds.

It could still be a trap, and to be truthful, the prospect of meeting Sasuke makes my stomach churn with unease. Even if he doesn't mean to kill me, he is unstable. We will have to be on guard, ready for anything. Like good shinobi ought to, especially when going into enemy territory. Thinking of Konoha like that… it just doesn't feel right.

A patrol of shinobi with Oto headbands reaches us ten seconds after our landing. They don't say anything, escorting us towards the village.

A million thoughts flash through my mind: despair and pain, hope and determination. My vow to challenge Sasuke, even when we both knew I wasn't strong enough. Will he want to fight, after this mission? (If we even survive it). There is no turning back now. There never was, but seeing the deadline so close sends chills down my spine.

There will be no time for hesitation, for weakness or mistakes. I remember memories of a time long past, when things were easy and everything seemed so certain. The hell I had to get through, just to survive another day. Getting so close to being one of the strongest shinobi of all times… and then losing it all, at the whim of a madman.

A person I still care about, to the point of irrationality, and yet I'm supposed to fight him, probably to death. He's close, too close, and I want to curl up and wait for it to go away. I don't. As we approach the village through the main road, I take a deep breath and force myself to keep going.

_This is it._

* * *

It takes a moment for me to realise that she never _considered_ saying no as an option. Terrified and wary as she was, Sakura did not question whether she should help Konoha or not, despite the clear threat of a trap. It surprised me, throwing all my plans out of the window - her behavior was also bizarre, switching back and forth between bold and _meek_.

"It's not like _you_ considered anyone else. Who was the first person that came to your mind, even though as far as you knew, she might still be broken and useless?" the clone inquires, bringing up a rather fair point, though it still fills me with unease. I have no way of truly knowing how strong Sakura is, and I have an inkling she isn't going to do a parade in front of me. She accepted, though, so she must have a plan or a way to deal with the threats.

That's all I can hope to hold onto. In truth, it's rather amusing - we've drawn each other close once more, despite the odds and circumstances. Without even thinking about it, she and I are dancing the steps towards the end of our song.

I can't make it any easier for her… it would go against all I stand for, and fought to achieve. An image of Itachi passes through my head, but I pay it no heed. I wait at the main gates, knowing (feeling) that she will be here soon. This is a challenge, a fight that we have carried through countless lifetimes.

"You mistake bonds for destiny, sweetie," the doppelgänger scolds, pursing her lips tightly. She stands next to me, unknown to the world, though I'm sure the few passing shinobi feel a shiver when they're near her. She might not be tangible, but she's there. "They're a thing you form, not something you're tied by."

I disagree. Our reincarnations have been chasing one another for a very long time, and none of them could ever break the cycle. Without knowing, we've been retracing the same steps, time after time. What could we possibly do to avoid this? We can't walk away from the other, especially not now.

Sakura is meant to fight me, and the only way the cycle will break is if I kill her - which, the clone kindly informed me, has happened way too many times. If I win, she will be a goner, but her failure is meant to happen. There is nothing I can do, but wait for her to make a move.

This is the only thing I can do to spite fate. Remain here, unmoving, and wait for her.

It's time.


	38. To the Roots | Arc V: Road

_To see you again._

"Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha, working together to save a world."

Her blood runs cold, because she recognises that voice perfectly. Her eyes glaze over, mind assaulted by a thousand memories and emotions that she cannot control. Asphyxia, in a way that no amount of air can help. It nearly knocks her back, like a physical blow, and her gaze darts around the scenery, frantically trying to decipher where the voice is coming from.

Sakura has learned many things in her year as a student of senjutsu - how the slightest alteration of emotion can cause ripples that become tsunamis. The power of intent, if strong enough, can manifest itself in physical vessels; it can be as deadly as any weapon or technique.

And she knows very well how broken her own mind is. It is not something any amount of medicine, time or meditation could ever fix. There are things that, when taken or broken, can never be regained as they were. Overtime, the voices of phantoms grew louder, just as her body became more loose; her own chakra started to be difficult to grasp, as if it were slipping away.

"My, my, did the cat eat your tongue? I thought dear Sasuke-kun left you with one."

In this instant, the growing pressure she felt due to Sasuke's presence grows to nearly unbearable levels. Like Engetsu's phantoms, something in him is reacting to her - forces that attract and repel, that try to fuse and annihilate each other at the same time. A dichotomy that is forced to exist, augmented solely by their physical proximity to each other.

Her eyes meet his, as he stands under the threshold of the village's main gate; a place she had only dreamed of seeing again, and it's already enough to make her want to cry. He, too, can feel every minimal detail of what is happening right now. There is a flash of concealed _panic_ , and pain, but what makes her heart ache is the understanding.

Just by standing in front of each other, their souls are resonating with the after-effects of the massacre. Sakura has avoided thinking about it as best as she could, because she couldn't even bear thinking about him for a very long time. But here, without the crazed look in his eyes, despite the façade that she knows the rest of the world can't penetrate, he seems so utterly _bare_ to her.

She can feel his heartbeat as if it were her own. She can almost picture black thread, weaving through the air, tying them together. The clone's eyes seem to be glinting, her dark aura enveloping everything- no, it's _Sasuke's_ aura. The darkness that devoured any light in his soul, quite literally, and that nearly broke hers.

Sakura's hand goes to her chest by instinct, and she _knows_ that the pulsations under her skin are only a complex machination. She should be dead. She should just give up. There is no way she can win, anyway…

It takes less than three seconds, and the world is oblivious to the conflict developing between them. She's frozen, and it's almost as if a horde of rats was gnawing away at her sanity, eroding every rational thought and leaving only a chaotic void behind. It hurts.

Then, Sasuke closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and the heaviness in her chest fades just enough to let her inhale again. The clone, however, doesn't vanish; Sakura does notice how Sasuke himself looks at Sachi, who stands next to her in a defiant pose. She seems ready to jump at the doppelgänger and tear her apart.

Sasuke nods minutely, half-turning away and looking at the Hokage Tower. Sakura takes it as her cue, and motions at Tenten and Lee to follow her. There is no grandiose welcome, no happy cheers or familiar faces to greet them when they come back _home_. Some buildings are cracked or burnt, as if they had received collateral damage during multiple fights. The ground is dirty, as if it had been left to the elements for a very long time.

Most of the shops are closed, and there isn't a buzz of conversation, no laughter of children, no crowd of people milling about their day. Some shinobi stand on rooftops, watching them closely, but even among those, Sakura can't recognise Konoha headbands. They are few, anyway, and judging by the amount of natural chakra around her, not many more people are hiding away from sight. It looks like an abandoned town, and it pains her to see the village where she grew up in this state of disrepair.

There are no words spoken, and she wonders what Lee and Tenten think of it. Truly, there is no need; and where before she would have nervously tried to fill the void, now Sakura has to focus on keeping herself somewhere on this side of sanity. The world is _blurring_ , the voices have grown in intensity, and her heart seems to have gotten stuck in a tachycardic rhythm. And she knows that, under the composed demeanor Sasuke is showing the world, his insides are churning in chaotic battle.

The office hasn't changed - though there's less papers than she remembers, and a twinge of nostalgia adds to the growing ache in her heart. It smells different, less like alcohol and antiseptic, and more like dust. Sasuke doesn't seem to have bothered with cleaning it, which seems odd; he is methodical and thorough. Then, she remembers that he has been in a losing battle against insanity. Truly, something as mundane as dirt wouldn't be high in his list of priorities.

"And again," the clone whistles. "Little Sakura cares about things that Sasuke-kun would never find important." There is something in his body language; it's not calm, and anyone would be able to tell. It's more like a coiled spring, ready to snap. She wonders if the others can see how he suppresses a flinch, how it's actually a titanic amount of self-restraint, that keeps him from losing himself entirely.

She should be thinking about fear, should be hurting about what could've been and will never be. Agonizing over memories of a terrible torture, and the loss of a piece of her innocence and soul. But she can't, because she's too aware of _his_ reactions and the emotions that simmer under his skin. He is trying to hide them, but she can see through any wall now. Sakura wonders if it's pride, that makes him keep trying.

"What's the plan of action?" inquires Sachi, crossing her arms and scowling profusely. Sasuke sits behind his desk, and for a moment it feels like he'll just slump over and block out the world. Instead, he blinks, looking at Sachi while he pretends to be putting his eyes on Sakura. Her voice snaps both of them out of their reverie, and Sasuke _finally_ lets out a breath that could pass as a sigh.

"As you have been informed," he begins, and Sakura realises it's the first time she hears _his voice_ in a very, very long time. He pauses, apparently feeling the weight of her realisation, but resumes his talking after only half a second. "The moon is falling. You are the only ones capable of preventing damage to this village. Needless to say, any acts that go against its Hokage will be considered treason, and for that, punishment is capital."

It doesn't have to be said that _they will find a way_. That even if it's not now, they won't give up the fight. But it's not time - the enemy of one's enemy is an ally, and so for time being, against all odds, they have to work together. Sakura never thought she would be back home like this.

"How long do we have?" Tenten, as usual, is the one to ask the important questions. Sakura actually decides to let her _handle_ this, because she isn't certain she could be capable of articulating a single word as it is.

"Three days until collision; a few hours until stray pieces start to fall into our atmosphere," he replies, swiftly; it seems that the conversation is a good anchor for his thoughts. Sakura, however, is busy trying to keep herself in one piece. This isn't even a fraction of what he has to be dealing with, but the intensity is new to her. For both of them, the bar has been pushed higher than ever.

She half-listens to Tenten inquire about the details, and Sasuke seems content with letting them know. That there are a total of seventeen Konohagakure shinobi on-duty and loyal to the village; half of which are genin. That Otogakure has crumbled apart, so they have a total of fifty-one operatives in Konoha, most of which would be just below jōnin level.

That there are exactly one hundred and seventy eight citizens left, discounting the hostages that were shipped off to Oto hideouts. Konoha's population used to be the highest of all the Hidden Villages, and this is all that's left. Just a bunch of cracked buildings and some scared civilians and clan members.

The Hyūga fled when Hinashi, Hiashi's father and re-appointed Clan Head, was brutally killed. Whatever is left of the Nara, Akimichi and Yamanaka fled long ago into the forest; their attempts at guerrilla were shot down within months, and only some stragglers managed to flee or evade death by letting themselves be captured.

Sakura realises, then, that there is nothing left of what Konoha once was. The only representatives of clans left are merely puppets that follow Sasuke out of fear. The Hokage Monument is no more, and the Will of Fire has been dimmed to a shadow of its former self. It still burns in the hearts of those who fled, but didn't forget, and yet...

 _Konoha is gone. This is no home_.

Sasuke's eyes snap towards her, but judging by Tenten and Lee's reactions, they didn't hear her thoughts. They jump into a battle stance within a second, and in that timespan the room's tension grows to nauseating levels. One wrong step, and a fight could break out.

She bites her lower lip, and sees in Sasuke's eyes a deep well of denial. It strikes her as ironic, that he is the one who has been clinging to desperate dreams, pushing on despite the truth that presses against him. His dream is shattered, and so is hers, but at the end of the day, that is their reality: Konoha is gone.

The dark aura that he irradiates grows in strength, and she can hear Lee and Tenten falling to the ground, overwhelmed. Sakura stands her ground, noting the increase in pressure with detached interest. She can't get her eyes off of his, but she supposes that looking or not won't really help much against someone like him.

He stands up, and something flickers to light in Sasuke's dark eyes. Sakura knows those colors, and is transfixed staring, stuck in a closed loop of memories. Those eyes have haunted her nightmares and waking times for two years. And as he steps closer, she realises that he's gotten significantly taller. It strikes her, like so many other things, that they were just barely children when they fought in a war.

Too young, and too broken. Time hasn't made that any better - instead, they've been alone, trying to survive for themselves. Look at them now, tangled together as they fall down a deep hole. Would it even matter, if he killed her now?

Sakura doesn't know how much time passes, but the spell is broken in a manner she never expected. He blinks, and blood stains his cheeks. Sasuke falls forward, catching himself on the desktop, but his whole body is trembling and tense. He outgrew his old clothes, and now she wonders if the long sleeved shirt he wears serves another purpose.

It doesn't take her long to feel the effect of _his_ outburst, stronger than ever, and she falls to her knees on the office's floor. She doesn't tear her eyes away from him; she can't.

Because, as he stops looking at her, the color of the Rinnegan fills up with dark smoke, until its lavender tones have faded entirely from his iris. He screams, bringing a hand up to his head, trembling all over. The Ningyo closes around her with enough force to make bones crack, and she can't breathe anymore.

There is now open panic in Sasuke's eyes, and she knows her own reflect something similar. It has spiraled out of control; his Sharingan reverts to basic form, spinning madly as his instinct tries to help him with fighting an enemy he can't see. Before the smoke covers that eye too, the world fades.

* * *

The images around them waver, and the shadowy figures growl and circle them like predators, forcing them closer together. They are somewhere in the forest, halfway between his mindscape and hers, and the world is drawn in red and bloody lines that become fuzzier with each blink.

Sakura's back bumps against his before he realises she's there, but he doesn't have his sword to fight back. She ducks under his hit with better reflexes than he remembers her having, and from the ground she brings up her hands to stop him. Sasuke does, staring at her with emotions he can't comprehend.

There is rage, pure hatred, and pain; he is stuck in the middle of wanting to destroy her right then and there, and clinging onto her for his dear life. _Konoha is gone_. She shattered his dream, shouldn't she deserve it? Even if all she did was wake him up to reality (what she tried to do before; the last time, it ended so horribly), in a way she just took something precious away from him. From an _Uchiha_.

She seems to be perfectly aware of the struggle he is undergoing, but surprisingly, she keeps her mouth shut. And he _feels_ that it's not because she doesn't want to help him; she just knows that panicking and spewing emotional words won't help at all. He supposes they are both emotionally driven people, so one of them has to take the more level-headed role. Sasuke hadn't expected it to be her.

There is a flash of six hundred days and nights. The many times she couldn't sleep, the many others she cried until exhaustion took her. Waking nightmares and dreams that never gave her a moment's rest. Her will to protect the few people close to her, the only ones left. The despair at the notion that, sooner or later, she would have to face him - and knowing that she would never be good enough to win.

Her eyes widen, and he knows she has seen too. How sanity slipped him more often than not, and in bouts of dementia he tore apart everything around him, even the things he once held dear, or were still important to him. How, ironically enough, he was blind to reality, manipulated and driven further into darkness by his own mind, and a piece of Sakura's.

She doesn't get up, similarly stuck in her own train of realisation. As if they'd found the missing pieces of a puzzle, everything they couldn't put together on their own comes to light. Her skin, raw and bleeding along the lines of the Ningyo, as she channeled senjutsu chakra; it ate her away, but it gave her enough edge to provide a chance. His eyes, unable to function as they used to; he woke up one day, and the Rinnegan was gone.

It seems the Ningyo's tendrils spread on both sides, binding them together; he, however, was too strong to be limited like her, even if he still felt the effect of it. And the clone found out how to abuse of it, how to push his buttons just enough to suit her purposes; abusing of the Rinnegan's power whenever it was convenient, just to see how it worked. She strained his body to massive levels, to weaken him.

He didn't remember ever summoning those creatures of old, but the strain it put on his body is too real now. The clone has tainted his pathways, much like Sakura's Yin Seal has been shut off; unlike her, he still has some degree of access to it, but when was the last time he looked in a mirror? He thought the blindness came from dementia, not from the fact that his eyes were clouded with literal darkness.

 _So that's why his Rinnegan wasn't activated most of the time_.

Yes. The Rinnegan is a dōjutsu that can't be concealed by normal methods… but in her eyes, he sees that she wasn't even aware of that. He was _blinded_.

 _Mermaid Seal_ , _Puppet Seal_ \- two sides of the same coin, Ningyō and Ningyo. One side to lure wayward souls, another to control them. In reality, it traps them both in the same cage. His head throbs, and he holds his forehead with a hand, covering his eyes. They feel _broken_.

"This is your fault," he mutters under his breath, glaring at her through the gaps between his fingers. If not for the clone, none of this would have happened. If she had shut the fuck up back then, things would never have gone this wrong!

The familiar faces that haunt his nightmares have morphed into unrecognisable monsters, all burnt and mangled from the massacre. And they seem to cheer at them, to _destroy_ each other utterly, to end this madness that are their lives. Sakura flinches, but can't react in time. The ground meets her back, and it happens again.

Never before had he seen anyone so deeply, so thoroughly - or felt so exposed, himself. Not even Itachi's predictions were a hundred percent accurate. Stripped down to the core elements of his soul, and having everything else splayed in front of both of their eyes, after having it torn to pieces. Just like Sakura.

She shudders, and he sees the bruises inflicted long ago reappearing on her neck, around his fingertips. She didn't think about it much, but under her own long clothes hide many scars that she can barely stand seeing. She doesn't look at her own body anymore, because it still hurts. Every time she looked at her own reflection, she saw brokenness and failure.

And she did it all without realising; she stopped taking care of her formerly cherished appearance, giving her an unkempt air; her hair was roughly cut, her eyes are marked by insomnia and the lines of stress and anxiety. He knows that she stopped paying attention to herself, as a self-defense method.

Torn to pieces, just like him.

It's surprisingly easy to hold her down in a physical sense, but he can barely keep himself from jumping away as if he'd been burnt. He wants to stop the replay of memories, because if they get _there_ he doesn't know what he'll do. Oh, how he wants to know, and by the looks of it, she is aware. She thought it hadn't happened, but haven't both of them been deep into denial?

The roar of the phantoms becomes deafening, and he can't see anymore. Everything is dark, except her figure. She looks so small, so fragile, even though he recognises that her spirit is practically unbreakable. Sakura seems to struggle between the urge to look away and into his eyes, flinching every time his fingers twitch, as he too is caught in a dilemma: strangling her to death or letting go.

Everything goes quiet, and the lighting shifts. He recognises this cold, barren place. He can smell the blood and fire, and so can she. Sakura is trembling, looking around as if to see if they're really there. When she looks back at him, there aren't tears, just pure terror. He hadn't seen it directly - only glimpses of it behind her façades, as he was never aware enough to truly perceive it.

It fills his gut with dread, because she fully expects a repetition that won't end so _luckily_ this time. He can see it and feel it, and Sasuke isn't sure of it, himself. He wants to hate her- no, he already does. Mightily, in fact. Sasuke Uchiha hates obstacles that he cannot overcome, and Sakura seems to be one of them, in her very unique way. With her, he can't _win_ \- he can neither destroy her or be on her side. It makes him feel stuck, powerless - something he despises.

A hand presses against his chest, and it surprises him that she has closed her eyes, her expression turning to a thoughtful frown.

_If he still has a heartbeat, he's human. If he's still human, he's not a complete monster. If he's not a monster, it's not too late._

He catches her thoughts like words in a raging wind, and doesn't move to bat her hand away. He lets go of her wrists and neck, and instead opts for something that provokes new panic in Sakura, causing her to open her eyes again. Flitting memories flash in her eyes, and her ragged breathing comes to a halt.

She has a heartbeat, too.

"I'm not going to kill you," he states, flatly, the ire in his former words gone. There is only a sinking, weary emotion, that numbs out everything else. It's as much of a fact as his hatred is, but he knows that fear is another emotion that blurs rationality out. He needs to tell her, before she freaks out. "I can't."

Sakura breathes shallowly, as if trying to avoid pressing her body against his hand. She is also looking at him like he just grew a fourth head. And he can tell that she is trying very, very hard not to cry. It reminds him so much of the girl he used to know, that it hurts. They both have changed. He once thought she would be willing to kill him, but he was wrong.

She, too, _can't_.

Their stalemate has drawn out for too long, as he isn't going to take the steps forward (because if he does, he will have to kill her; she tenses a little more at that); and she is physically unable to manage it. The gap is too big, he knows. Other than letting himself die without putting up a fight, there is no way she could win.

She knows, too.

Yet, she hasn't given up. And he- he can barely bring himself to think about it anymore. It has haunted him for months. Maybe, without the doppelgänger, he would have been able to shove everything aside and pretend to forget about it. Every mistake, every second of torture, has been replayed - except the one thing that bothers him most.

There is surprise, then pain, and finally doubt in her eyes. She caught that thought, no matter how hard he tried to hide it; Sasuke pretends he doesn't want to look away. That either it didn't bother him that much, or he wasn't thinking about it in the first place, but it's too late.

She bites her lip, and for a moment there is only evaluation in her eyes, and then she nods to herself and pries her gaze away from his. Slowly, to ensure he doesn't see it as a threat, she moves her free hand down to the space between them. The long, lapislazuli clothes are splayed around her; he knows what she wants to do before she starts the motion, but he can't tell her to stop.

Sakura lifts her shirt, halfway up her ribs, uncovering the skin underneath. Her fingers tremble, but she seems determined, even if she can't look at him.

"I can still…" The threat is lost in the sparse air, as he can't voice the words. He hates that, too, and maybe his fingers close a little bit too hard. Nonetheless, she looks at him very briefly, and then tugs down at her pants, just an inch.

He understands now, and has to resist the morbid urge to _touch_ her underbelly. It's littered with jagged, lightning-like scars, as if she had been stabbed with a blade and then had it dragged through skin and flesh, ripping through. The lines run under her pants, but he sure as hell isn't going to look _there_.

"You said…"

And he realises it's the first time he actually hears her voice. One word, a battle cry, is all he has heard of her through all their exchanges in the real world. She wasn't even _talking_ to him. Her voice catches in her throat, and he knows it's hard for her to speak. He tries to remember for her, to maybe feel what she has to say, but the doppelgänger has closed off those memories. It's torture, for both of them.

" _You don't deserve it._ "

He can hear two voices saying the same; hers is shaky, broken. The echo of his own is laced with hatred, with connotations full of disdain and scorn. There are no words for what it meant, what he implied, what he felt and tried to convey in the words. Things that she was too aware of. It was an insult, much, much worse than if he had just raped and abandoned her. Like opening a dam, as soon as the connection is made, the memories rush through him, stealing his breath.

The self-hatred she irradiates easily matches his own. The shame, the failure, the feeling that she will never be good enough to achieve anything; the fear of falling behind, or not reaching high enough. And she took his words to heart, like she took the blame for the massacre and everything that went wrong that day; she saw all of her shortcomings and mistakes, and the catastrophe that they brought. That even her dreams, what she had worked for, were _worthless_.

Just like she was.

And all of it, because she wasn't good enough. Now he understands why she doesn't act like she did before, why that aura of vivacity is nearly gone - there is only determination left. To prove herself, even if it costs her life. She doesn't have the unyielding strength that kept Naruto up no matter how many times he got beaten down. She doesn't have the dōjutsu and bred skills that Sasuke has.

She's _just_ Sakura. Broken and hurt, and not giving up solely because of him. The reason she's like this in the first place. Is she trying to prove a point? Save him? Both? She breaks down, pulling her arms to her sides and bracing herself tightly. She doesn't look, she doesn't pretend it doesn't hurt. It's there, just as raw as it was two years ago; it was only buried and left to rot and fester.

 _It's not your fault_ , he wants to say, but she can't hear. _You didn't do anything wrong._

Yet his anger makes him want to blame her, hate her, finish what he started. Because she _did_ do stupid things, even if it was with the best intention. But he- he refused to listen. He let himself fall, and even trying to redeem himself (unconsciously) by saving Konoha wasn't enough. Those lives can't be returned. Her scars are there to stay, and he knows her mind isn't in a better state.

He almost wants to see them all - every single trace of his mistakes. Sasuke, however, doubts she'd let him.

He realises her legs must be going numb (if that's possible in this place, which he wouldn't doubt too much) from his weight, so he gets off and sits beside her, looking in the distance, at the battlefield. He doesn't go away this time, as he isn't sure he could be capable of moving.

She lies on the ground, beside him, but makes no move to get up. She's quiet, very quiet, and he knows she doesn't want to cry. Those tears are just beyond her control. Maybe it's because of her proximity, maybe because of his realisations, but his rage is subdued. It's still there, though small and almost silent.

_I know why you hate me so much, so I don't understand why I'm not dead yet…_

Judging by the way she looks at him, for the briefest moments, she noticed the newfounds tenseness in his body. He could ask something very similar, even if he can blame her attachment on a cycle of reincarnation that goes back to ancient eras. Even then, why would she keep trying, after so many failures?

The lighting changes very subtly, but he notices it - the sky is becoming a mix of day and night, an eclipse of a green moon over a red sun. Now, it's like there's two images on top of the other, instead of bubbles of different spaces and times. Like every breeze is jointed, stronger; it carries both the smell of smoke and summer.

Sasuke isn't a man of exposing emotion, or many words. Now, however, he wants to say so much… and he can't. Try to explain, perhaps; maybe if she understands, she'll stop crying. If she weren't stuck in her own pit of misery, she could probably _feel_ it without need of words.

_If you believe something isn't there, how could you sense it?_

Right. He still hates her, and her justifications for why she isn't dead yet don't include anything remotely close to remorse. Sasuke doesn't like backing up on his actions - for the longest time, he needed to be certain about everything he did. He was open to new possibilities, since being stagnant is the death of bad shinobi, but he always tried not to _regret_.

The dichotomy is enough to drive anyone insane, and for a moment he wonders if the doppelgänger merely spurred his inner conflict. He doesn't know what to do about her, either. Short of killing Sakura, he doesn't know how he could get rid of an entity of that kind.

He could. She has no guard up, perhaps on purpose. He can tell she hasn't given up yet, simply because _he_ still lives. Sasuke doesn't know how could this end in anything other than death, and maybe if he gets it over with now… it could almost be an act of mercy.

She catches _that_ thought, of course, out of all things. Quietly, she's pleading, and the way her emotions twist makes his stomach turn inside out. Sakura knows it's not _her_ choice at this point. More than ever, he wants to ask:

_Why?_

But he already knows the answer. And with one look at her, he tries to convey that it was just a passing thought. _You're an idiot_ , he grumbles, though he doesn't know who he's talking to. Her eyes practically light up, and just like that it seems like she has regained her bearings.

It puzzles him, such a drastic switch in her mindset, but he decides it's just a Sakura thing. She does manage to look at him again, pulling down her shirt and readjusting her pants, and maybe she catches his confusion.

 _Because I love you_.

Sakura slaps a hand over her mouth, with something that feels very similar to shame, even though she hasn't spoken. Her eyes look for something else to stare at, and a _blush_ spreads from her cheeks, all the way to her neck. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she hasn't changed in the slightest.

Amusement finds its way to him, and that only makes her try to hide somewhere in the grass, which (needless to say) isn't tall enough.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles, plucking strands of grass just to have something to do with her hands. "It's just… seeing Konoha like this…" She looks up at him, fearful of another outburst, but the village stopped being a priority for him a long time ago. Right, she thought that it's because she undermined his task.

"I understand." She blinks in surprise, basking in the relief. He does, too. He isn't looking at her directly, as she sits a little bit behind him and to his left. Sasuke considers explaining _why_ further, but decides against it.

Maybe it's better if she believes those lies, for now. He doubts she would be capable of fighting him at all if she sensed an ounce of _weakness_ in the façade.

"...Can I go with you?"

This time, her mouth-covering slap is rather audible. Sasuke resists the urge of slamming his forehead on his knees. Silence should be enough of an answer for her, but then he notices that, unlike the broken girl he saw a few minutes ago, Sakura's attitude is now similar to how she used to be.

Meaning, she's going to start rambling if he doesn't put a stop to it.

"One day, Konoha will be rebuilt." _And that's kind of impossible if there's only a smoking crater left._ He grits his teeth, suppressing the doppelgänger's influence for as long as he can. It won't last, but he hasn't felt this free in a very long time. He isn't about to let go. "Once everything has calmed down."

He doesn't imply that it might take years, or his death, for that to become possible. _If_ he survives his inevitable fight against Toneri.

"Is that a promise?" she inquires, almost demanding. He gives her a _look_ and she shuts her mouth, embarrassed. "What happened?" Sakura adds, really looking at their surroundings for the first time.

"My Inner Sakura provoked me into trying to murder you," he states, flatly, trying to sound detached and _knowing_ that, in a way he can't control, he's failing. "...My Rinnegan must have acted up and brought us here. I believe it pulled our souls closer together."

He _also_ knows that she wants to argue about that very thing - how is she going to face someone like Toneri without control of his dōjutsu? Then again, she is smart enough to know that insulting his abilities like that isn't going to raise anyone's chance of survival. She's still worried, though, and that fact is becoming more annoying by the second.

Their moment of confluence is about to end. He can already hear distant cries once more.

"What do we do?" she inquires, scanning the woods around them. She must hear them too. "Can you cast a genjutsu or something?"

Sasuke shakes his head.

"This… creature has control of my chakra. She could warp it into anything." That works both ways, he knows, but the fact that she is willing to suggest something like that is still foolishly admirable.

"Can I… see it?" She is fiddling, of course. "I can still use some medical chakra, and if it's mine… maybe I can shuffle it around a little bit."

 _Do you know what you're asking of me?_ He doesn't say it, instead taking a few seconds to consider his options. She won't betray him now, so why should be deny? The balance within his soul and mind is very fragile, but he can't trust the doppelgänger to stay peaceful. Not when Sakura is so close, and could be killed in the blink of an eye.

He turns around, relaxing his posture to make it seems less threatening. Hesitantly, Sakura scuttles closer. Normally, she would sit behind her patient, but Sasuke knows she won't try that now. He is tempted to close his eyes, to avoid the sorry sight of her face, but decides against it.

Her fingers make contact with his temples a moment after she gets comfortable, and though she doesn't voice it, it's clear his gaze makes her nervous; he looks away, and senses her relax minutely.

Sakura's chakra is almost familiar to him, though in a way it feels much cleaner than what he is used to. It isn't dominating, merely exploring the pathways and trying to figure out how it works. Curious; playful, almost. From the corner of his eye, he sees how her expression becomes more entranced, filled with something akin to awe. He knows she might be the only medic to ever examine eyes like his this closely.

There is a prick on the back of his eye, erupting into burning a moment later. She bites her lip, but doesn't hesitate.

"It's gonna hurt. There is a lot of… stagnant chakra in there. It's very similar to mine, so I think I can move it… but I can't get it out, it would drain you. It's mixed with yours," she explains. Sasuke merely nods, and she takes it as her cue.

The voices rise in intensity, and then, very slowly, go quieter. The insides of his head start burning as she works on the different places, leaving him with a feeling of light looseness. Almost… clean. The dark shapes in his eyes recede, though not entirely. As good as she is, Sakura can't perform miracles, not in her state.

He doesn't miss how her skin is tight under the pressure of the Ningyo, looking raw and red. She deems her task finished after pushing the chakra somewhere else in his vast reserves, and says that it will eventually go back to his head again, but it should give him an edge. She looks a little bit tired.

Sasuke extends a hand to her forehead without thinking much about it, and in an instant she has deflected it as if he had struck her. She hasn't gotten up into a battle stance, but her instincts scream of sensing a fight.

"I can do the same," he explains, nonplussed. Sakura's apology catches in her throat, and she nods rather quickly, closing her eyes as if she was steeling herself for something difficult.

It's completely blocked off. If he didn't have a connection to her, he would be unable to feel her chakra signature at all. The seal is tightly wound around her, and he doesn't want to use force when it's something so delicate. He doesn't say anything, but when he retreats his hand without doing anything at all, she knows it's a defeat.

Sakura sighs slightly, having dared to hope only for the slightest moment. Her hands are just slightly bloated from the pressure. Sasuke offers his, trying to hint at her to do the same; she catches the meaning after only a moment of confusion.

Unlike with her Yin Seal, the pressure in the rest of her body isn't so high. The Ningyo responds to him, and like a snake, its embrace relaxes at his command. Sakura releases a sigh, unconsciously - Sasuke wonders what it's like, to have something like this on her body. It's restricting, like his Curse of Hatred, but in a physical way.

He notices her body has grown, changed slightly. Some of her fingers bend slightly in odd angles, proof that they were broken and pushed the wrong way. He tries to ignore that, and the marks of kunai that went through her palms, to hold her down. The electrical burn that has drawn pale, dendritic lines on her skin.

_I did this._

When it seems like her skin isn't under pressure anymore, he gets up, tugging at her to follow. Sasuke releases her hands as soon as possible, but she still rubs them together, making him think they're tingling a little. Just like his own.

"Ready?" she mutters, not looking at anything in particular.

He doesn't answer, and instead he pushes chakra to the Rinnegan, separating them and dissolving the illusionary world.


	39. To the Moon  | Arc V: Road

_To save you._

_If you had just fought…_

It's the last thing she can feel, before the cord tied to her soul stretches to great distances and he's gone. A shudder rushes through her spine, because if she _had_ , she would be dead.

' _Did he mean he'd rather have me dead… or he didn't want for me to end this way?_ ' she wonders, despite herself. Sakura mentally slaps herself afterward, knowing that there's no place for such thoughts in her current situation. They might be working together now, for Konoha, but that's it.

She can't help but worry, though; this time for a reason that isn't solely based on him. The Ningyo affected him too, and is apparently capable of taking away his Sharingan and Rinnegan. She didn't have a clue, she thought he'd be nigh invincible... Is he as strong as he used to be? Will it be enough to face someone like Toneri?

"Stop fiddling. He killed an entire army," Tenten calls out, causing her a surprised flinch. Sakura has been staring out of the window for a long time, trying to tie the image of a Konoha in ruins to her memories. She remembers spending long hours here, years ago… times that won't return.

Slowly, the pinkette turns around, frowning (it's a good way to conceal her embarrassment). Tenten seems to find her ability to _give a damn_ about Sasuke rather impressive, and not necessarily in a good way. The brunette never wasted her time chasing after boys, instead honing her skills and seeking greatness on her own. If one of her teammates had betrayed her, would _she_ have been able to fight without hindrance?

"It's not him I'm worrying about." Okay, it's a bit of a lie, but she's a kunoichi. Tenten raises her eyebrows. "Sasuke has grown weaker due to our shared ailment." How could she think that he had remained unaffected, especially in his demented state? The Ningyo came _from him_ , and it turned his mind inside out. It was an uncontrolled jutsu, one that went wrong in its purpose to kill her, for Kami's sake. "If he fails, the world is doomed."

"You need to stop worrying so much," the other girl chastises her, and Sakura turns her head to the side. Disagreements have happened between them, mostly because Tenten's to-the-point attitude doesn't allow room for senseless preoccupation. In her eyes, there is nothing that can be done, so they should just do their job and hope for the best.

She spent weeks, agonising in an abandoned town in the middle of nowhere, with little hope to hold onto. Sakura knows it's a coping method, but says nothing of it. Instead, Tenten takes a step towards the Hokage's desk and bends over next to it, her fingers trailing the smooth surface carefully.

"He'll know if we touch anything," Sakura warns, trying hard not to fiddle. Sasuke would be greatly _pissed_ if he came back and found that they rummaged through his stuff. She takes a step closer, intent on knowing what her friend wants to know, and prevent her from doing anything too foolish.

He gave them simple instructions: they have the authority to command the Konoha-Oto forces, and their priority is to prevent any meteorites from falling over the village. It gives them a lot of downtime, with nothing to do but wait. Lee is the only one who is willing to train in their circumstances, and the tension is starting to cause friction between the two girls.

"Think, Sakura, if he is sick he must have investigated his illness. Those documents have to be somewhere."

"He has a _Sharingan_. He doesn't need to keep them around."

Sakura carefully avoids mentioning that she knows _exactly_ where the information is. She might not have had the capability to see or process two whole years of his life, but the moments with less inner turmoil are much clearer. Sasuke spent an unhealthy amount of time trying to understand what _Ningyo_ meant, but to no avail.

Her hopes that Tenten won't notice her train of thoughts fly out of the window very soon.

"You must know." She sounds almost accusing, and Sakura can tell there is a slight edge of bitterness in her voice. When she learned about her connection with Sasuke… she must also have noticed that Sakura still holds some manner of care for him. Tenten is doubting her, even if it's slightly.

"...He didn't find any information on it. It's a unique jutsu."

"Maru-san knew about it."

Sakura's jaw unhinges slightly, and she is at a loss of words. _Right on target, as always._ Maru never specified how he knew about the seal - or why he seemed to hate Uchihas so much. And now he's gone (it hits her, _he's gone_ and all those questions are still unanswered).

"I don't know," she finally grumbles, feeling a hint of anger at the pit of her stomach. She isn't in the mood for a test about her capabilities; not by another friend, not now. "The seal has two parts: Ningyō and Ningyo. He has the Puppet, I have the Mermaid. The Puppet binds the body, the Yang chakra, but not the mind; the Mermaid numbs the mind, the Yin chakra, but the body is technically free. That's all I know."

_That's why he's crazy and lost his way, and I'm a broken cripple._

"So you're actually on even grounds." Tenten's eyes narrow, and there is probably resentment at being kept away from this information. In her defense, Sakura didn't know until now. Maru was the one who used the name _Ningyo_ ; the doppelgänger named the other half. How do _they_ know is beyond her.

"I told you, we're bound together. But he'd still kick my ass in a fight." _Or would he?_ Sakura's speed is nearly on par with what it used to be; her dodging has become even more calculated. Her fighting style has changed. And while she trained, he was trying to escape dementia.

It stings to admit it, but she can't do anything against kekkei genkai like his. Maybe she has a chance using other assets…

"Sakura-san."

Tenten gets up at hyper speed, and Sakura whirls around to face the door, but they know they've been caught red-handed. However, her fear and battle-stance turn into disbelieving relief when she sees who called her.

"Zaji-san!" she exclaims. "I didn't know you were still allied with Konoha," she adds, puzzled. A hint of suspicion blooms in her, but the man merely raises his hands as a peace gesture.

"Hokage-sama didn't notice my absence, thanks to my companions' sacrifices," he replies, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. His eyes look weary, devoid of the proud edge she remembers in them. His gaze is hard, seemingly trying to convey a secret message to her. "I did not have the time to safely give you this before you disappeared."

In his hand is a senbon with teeth marks. _Genma's_ senbon.

"...Why?" His hand is still extended towards her, but she makes no move to take the senbon. He doesn't seem concerned about anyone listening in. Through the corner of her eye, she sees Tenten shuffle her kunai discreetly.

"Shizune-san survived the massacre." A wry grin grows on his lips. "At first… Hokage-sama thought you had poisoned him, somehow, and ordered her to develop a cure. But she worked on this instead." He twirls the senbon between his fingers, but doesn't take his gaze away from hers. "Using blood samples, our great poison master tried to create a weapon specifically for him. Didn't work out that well."

"Is she…?" She doesn't dare hope. Not when she feels the grim air that taints his words.

Zaji shakes his head.

"He saw through it. When the mission failed, we tried to safeguard the samples, but as you know, most of us perished," he continues, raising his hand towards her. "The last one."

* * *

The lake isn't wet.

It's not real.

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Sakura's eyes shift from expressing fear and pain to determined hatred. The clone's slap resounds in the empty battlefield, and she throws him off of her, sending him rolling into a pool filled with blood and entrails. He sinks through, falling, devoured by a pit of darkness.

The sounds of a massacre start playing out, muffled, and he can see blurry figures and bursts of fire beyond the surface. It grows more distant, and he wants to close his eyes and surrender himself to oblivion. A figure kneels at the edge, extending a hand to him and dragging him out by his collar.

The blood has turned into a deep well of water, and above him the forest's leaves are ruffled by a gentle wind. The sky is dark, and voices clamor in the background of his mind. The doppelgänger hits him again, her kick sending him flying into a tree. By reflex, he flips in the air and lands on his feet, jumping to the ground again.

"THE FUCKING WORLD DEPENDS ON YOU! DON'T FAIL AGAIN!" she hollers, her eyes clouded by black smoke. Her aura oozes the same dark energy, and he finds it eerily similar to his own. _She's just a reflection_. She told him, long ago, that she is nothing but all those things he doesn't want for himself - thrown back at him with the ire of a goddess.

The black flames start to devour the trees, crazed eyes shining in the darkness and closing in, nearer, _nearer_ … Until all he can see is her, the pond and himself. He takes a deep breath, calling to the surface of his mind a different image for the same girl. One devoted to her people and goals, determined to save the world and unfettered by his darkness.

The doppelgänger smiles at him, brighter, skin unmarred by scars and bleeding cuts. Her belly isn't oozing blood anymore. Her eyes are full of promises of something brighter, purer, _better_. It only lasts an instant - one single moment of remembrance and peace, amid a sea of madness. The weight of his demons comes back to drag down his soul again, but he jumps into the water before their claws can catch him.

Out of sight, mind - out of his memories and the genjutsu.

He surfaces inside the tunnel that connects planet and satellite, and a gigantic crab becomes his new enemy.

* * *

"GET EVERYONE OUT!"

Sakura's voice rings through Konoha's streets, her feet solidly stuck to the roof of a house, eyes glaring defiantly at sky. A dozen shinobi scatter through the rooftops, trying to wake up and evacuate every citizen in the area.

' _Of course the damn alarms are broken,_ ' she growls, internally. Who has been doing the maintenance in these two years? By her sides, Tenten and Lee ready themselves for what has been dubbed 'Plan A'. Sachi seems to consider this unnecessary - in case of failure, no plan B will save Konoha.

The pinkette sits down, crossing her legs and forcing her attention to abandon the sounds of screams and broken down doors; Konoha has an exceptionally large forest, and that has remained untouched. The wind carries the scents of the trees… and natural chakra. Her awareness expands.

The ground under the pavement is filled with roots… tunnels, secret basements. The trees cup Konoha, around and below, like a crib. A distant part of chakra, Hashirama's, resonates with the wood. It's too small to be of use, she already knows. The glimmering signatures of a few dozen people scatter away from the calculated ground zero for impact.

Without even a poof of smoke, Tenten unseals a large, palm-like fan. Sakura lets the natural energy fill her, the familiar fire filling her veins with power and determination. They only have two more minutes, and if they fail, it's over.

Sakura gets up, standing behind the brunette and putting her hands on her shoulders.

"I'm ready," she mutters, her voice slightly strained. Sakura is trying to accumulate as much energy as possible before letting go.

A coil of lightning erupts from the fan a moment later, and she channels her chakra into Tenten as fast as possible. In smooth, ample motions, Tenten produces a steady stream electricity, directed to the meteorite.

Sakura's skin starts to become red and swollen around the marks of the Ningyo, her heartbeat speeding up dangerously. Every single one of her muscles is tense: energy gathered from the ground and air, to her stomach, and then directed again out of her hands. The energy starts to crackle around the Bashōsen, threatening to go out of control.

"Lee!" Tenten calls, voice strained, dropping the weapon before it backfires on her. She falls to the ground, out of breath, her hair standing up and her hands singed. Sakura manages to catch her balance, redirecting the energy into herself again.

Lee is gone in a flash and a burst of wind, leaving a dent on the roof under his feet. The pinkette notes that it might just crack under them, but she has no time to worry about what is below. The meteorite has filled with fissures, with fulgurite and glass sticking out of it in odd angles and drawing lines on its surface. Hot and loose, the innards of the rock should be vulnerable enough.

_Should be._

A red and green flash collides against the meteorite, a battlecry overpowered by the sound of the explosion. Sakura looks at the Sound shinobi in position - the sound waves they produce break the last bits of debris into fine dust, the wind cooling down most of the molten chunks.

In the end, only a rain of particles remains.

_One down, how many more?_

* * *

"You are the one who killed my Princess."

Icy blue eyes face cloudy black and violet. A broken spirit stands behind Toneri, eyes blindfolded and hand held to his robes for guidance. Rage wells up in Sasuke, who holds his ground with every bit of determination expected from a Hokage, and the proud, almost regal air of an Uchiha. He remains silent.

_The eyes. Aim for the eyes!_

Sasuke pays heed to the doppelgänger's warning, noting the immense amount of power that those irises can barely conceal. She is faster than him, even if only in mind, reminding him of Sakura once again. This chakra is so similar to that of his ancestors… who always, _always_ , had eyes with powers beyond this world.

He confirms the theory when a force of unstoppable magnitude tries to drag his body and chakra towards Toneri, as a hundred armored puppets rush towards what should be the unavoidable landing spot. He should be _doomed._

The Rinnegan, however, begs to differ.

"I should have known better," he hears Toneri say, when he remains on his spot without having moved an inch. "You don't deserve my attention further. Earth will be punished, and your race annihilated, as decreed generations ago."

He can't _do a damn thing_ to stop him from flying away, to a fake sun he cannot reach. Not with his Rinnegan as it is, nowhere near full power. Instead, Sasuke dodges the first strike, jumping away from one rooftop to another.

_Those are not normal puppets._

They are fueled by a source of energy he can't see, only feel in the distance. A great amount of power, rivalling his own, steering the puppets towards him again. As he takes a step back, readying his sword, the Sharingan bursts to life in a flash of vermillion red.

* * *

"Sakura!"

Her coughing is wet and raspy, blood flying out of her mouth despite her efforts to cover it, and the pinkette falls to the ground, her whole body tensing against her will and going stiff. Her vision is swimming, and a flurry of feathers covers approaching shadows.

"He's… he's not gonna make it," she musters, wheezing.

She closes her eyes, her chest pulsing with dark chakra, and she knows there is only one thing she can do. The Ningyo is strained because Sasuke's own chakra is seeping through, causing hers to go wild and push against the seal; it's practically an involuntary distress signal. He wouldn't lose control of it like that, if he wasn't in mortal danger.

She takes a deep breath, painfully retracting whatever energy she has and leaving herself dizzy. The seal relaxes minutely, and minuscule amounts of natural energy start to seep through. The feathers vanish, and fire starts to course her pathways.

"I'm going. If you two work together, you can destroy…" Sakura runs out of breath, pulling herself up and looking away from her two teammates. "You and the Sound-nin. If you use the Bashōsen to amplify the effect of their sound waves, you can take out the meteorites."

She leans against the Hokage's desk - where Tsunade-shishou should be. Where no one will be sitting if Sasuke dies now, because everything will be destroyed. She tries her best to shove her personal concerns to the side, because they will only put her in the same situation that caused the massacre to begin with.

Tenten helps her steady herself, and Sakura has to blink a few times to make the world come back into focus. She directs a quizzical glance at the brunette, who merely purses her lips and nods. There is no stopping Sakura Haruno when she has a goal in mind… and right now, everything precious to her is being threatened.

She shifts her attention inward, trying to reach through the connection. Distress fills her when she realises that Sasuke's signature has already dimmed… or maybe it's because of how dark it is. She has never voluntarily gone to his side, and tries to get it over with as soon as possible. To her surprise, the darkness is quiet around her.

A flash of light reaches her eyes - dozens… hundreds of puppets. Seen through a veil of red and black, and lit up with colors she shouldn't be able to see. Moving at speeds that she can just barely follow, untouchable, he breaks one after another. The ground looks _wrong_ , curved the opposite way it should, and ancient buildings are destroyed all around him.

_Why the hell isn't he inside a Susanoo? He's just running around!_

An explosive puppet gets too close, only to be immediately disintegrated by Amaterasu.

_Those things are fodder! Come on, Sasuke-kun!_

She realises the problem when his vision blurs after that, and he is nearly run through by a projectile. He can't be that low on chakra… with his speed he should be able to clear them out in _seconds_. Why isn't he doing _anything_? What the hell is wrong with him!? This is not the power comparable to a force of nature that she remembers seeing in the war.

" _YOU!_ " screams an echo of her voice, and she is startled out of her state. The world blackens around her, and she is thrown back to the forest between the two sides. " _You being alive is eating his Yin energy away!_ _It doesn't fucking matter how much energy he has, he can't combine it!_ "

Just two sides of the same coin.

His mind was broken… and he _lost_ something that day, in an exchange between him and Sakura that should never have happened. The balance of his body was broken in a way that mirrors hers.

The doppelgänger exists for a reason - just like the black likes on Sakura's skin. Each of them is the jailor of a different, yet essential thing.

The Yang energy that Sasuke possesses can't be contained, and he quite literally loses control of his own body. His mind has been weakened.

On Sakura, the effect is the opposite: too much spiritual energy trapped inside her (and not even all of it belongs to her), but her physical side has been emaciated. Her mind is overloaded, incapable of processing everything properly.

When they come close to each other, the energies react… but they can't come together again. Only now does she understand the depth of their curse - separate, they will never be whole. Together, they are on the path to mutual destruction.

_I need to go there._

There isn't much time left.

* * *

Sasuke considers running away from the main fight many times over; hide, let his vast chakra reserves recover, come back as soon as possible. He knows this is a losing war, and suiciding before he even gets to Toneri is not a good plan. The clone, however, keeps hollering in his ears and _taunting_ him to keep moving forward.

' _You wasted your Yin chakra is me! You'll never be able to recover enough,_ ' she snaps, as an explosion singes his clothes. He had to take off the long, dark cloak, as it started to burn as soon as it was touched by a splash of liquid fire.

There are too many puppets, and though he can outmaneuver them, they aren't giving him any leeway. He hasn't been able to stop moving since the start, his hands flashing from hand seal to hand seal. He is lucky to have enough chakra to produce decently-sized techniques.

He blurs from one wall, rooftop and street to another, using the buildings as cover; each time he runs into a new house, he only has a few moments of respite before being swarmed again. He must have destroyed at least two hundred of these things, and they keep coming.

He knows something hasn't been right since the massacre. _Something_ was missing, and overtime it just got worse and worse. Defeating Orochimaru was easy… so was taking over Konoha. He is aware of having killed many in bouts of psychosis.

Sasuke realises, with something akin to sinking horror, that he might not make it to Toneri alive. He does not have a way to reach the castle, not fast enough. Would he have enough chakra to summon a hawk, this far away from Earth? The sky is filled with war puppets, he would have to clear them out enough to maneuver...

He is raking his brain for a solution, noting that his stamina can only get him so far. One mistake and he will be out of commission. He can't waste his chakra on these things, but taking them out one by one is too slow.

They are made specifically for killing - swiftly, cleanly, aiming for vital spots. He can't fail. He _can't_.

* * *

"Oh, neat, tell me something I don't know already," huffs Sakura, disrupting her chakra. The genjutsu breaks and she is left to follow the path of destruction that Sasuke left behind. As the images of her life vanish, she takes a moment to evaluate the battlefield.

Something _big_ was here - and the air is charged with Sasuke's chakra, plus a little bit of blood. He made it through, though. She speeds past the charred remains of a gigantic crab-like monster, as fast as her body allows her to. Sakura has been running non-stop for a very long time, and never before wished she was a speed prodigy more than now.

She can feel the weird mix of their chakra in him, beckoning, lighting up her way. The pinkette tries to see his side, but she has no chakra to spare. Everything in her is burning with agony, her determination being the only thing that keeps her from screaming. This is too much natural chakra, Katsuyu would say.

The way to compensate for Sakura's lack of Yang chakra and reserves in general, is to use as much senjutsu chakra as possible. The more imbalanced the ratio becomes, the stronger the chakra is… and the more it wears her out.

There is no time to think about consequences when _everything_ is in danger. A world with Sasuke as Hokage is just marginally better than nothing. Sakura feels blood start to seep through the skin around the tendril marks… and fall to the ground behind her, hissing when it comes to contact with air and stone.

_Poison. There's poison inside me. If I lose control for a single moment, it will do to me what it does to the ground._

She can feel it starting to disintegrate parts of the Ningyo, and can only speed up as a counter-measure.

* * *

They are pushing him back to the entrance. Toneri thinks so lowly of him that he is letting the puppets _take care_ of Sasuke. And in truth, he can't do anything to advance. There are too many to use brute force - he would never have enough energy to reach the place where Toneri is hiding.

He retreats into the forest, mindful of dormant guardians waiting for him to miss their presence, his Sharingan moving wildly from one corner of his eye to the other. Too much movement, too many blind spots. He has been forced to close the Rinnegan, as he doesn't have enough energy to utilise it.

Then there is a _pulse_ and he trips in his step, careering to the ground and into the path of a dozen puppets. His vision goes dark for an instant, as the incomplete ribcage of a Susanoo springs to life. It only lasts a moment, but it's enough to deflect the blows. He rolls on the ground and is up on his feet within two seconds, forced to rely on his sense of hearing.

An image flashes in his mind's eye - a puppet, coming from behind him and ready to slice his head off cleanly. By instinct, he rolls to the side, lashing out with a kick. Much to his surprise, the hit connects.

The doppelgänger huffs something about him being pathetic, and he can _see_ her smirk when he collides into a tree. Another flash, and the hundreds of puppets that try to reach him are painted in the void left by his lack of vision.

" _Yin chakra manipulation of the highest caliber… go figure_."

Right. The tendrils control Sakura's body, and the doppelgänger has reign over his mind.

' _How are you able to see them if I can't?_ ' The Rinnegan's vision is clouded with dark fog, and right eye is bleeding.

" _You can't… but I can._ "

His heart constricts at the casual words, but he is already moving through the trees as best as he is able to. His reference points are completely jumbled up, or non-existent to begin with. Recreating an image with Yin chakra isn't the same as seeing it with his own eyes. Sasuke tries to calculate where the entrance to the moon is, still many kilometers away, but he can't _see_.

Yet he knows she is near - the growing pressure inside him tells him so. He wouldn't have noticed, if not for the clone pointing it out.

And like always, he doesn't know if he wants her to be there or dead by his hands.

* * *

Sakura runs oversea, but she knows it will take too long to reach the shore… and him. He's so close… she can feel it. Trepidation runs along her spine, and she can't recall ever wanting to be _there_ more than now. In the distance, she sees the cloud of puppets that swarms him, swooping down and creating explosions that she can hear from here.

She jumps on the water, pushing her chakra downward when she lands and creating a _hole_ that doesn't break the surface tension, sinking below surface level. With her chakra perfectly spread out in a circle, she extends her it outward and reaches out to the edges of the depression.

All at once, she _pulls_ , creating an inward wave that grows to accumulate a great amount of energy. When it reaches the center, she tilts herself towards Sasuke slightly and lets go. It's not one of her punches, but close - the built up chakra does its work, and she shoots upwards much faster than she could have ran.

' _Nice shot!_ ' cheers her Inner, and Sakura can't help but smirk. This is exactly what she has trained for, no matter how bizarre the application of her skill is.

She flies through the air, redistributing her chakra for the landing. The cloud of puppets seems to be intent on ignoring her, even as she commences her downward arc amid their numbers. The forest is up in flames, though none of them are black. Where is _he_?

A second and half away from hitting the ground, she calls out for him:

" _SASUKE!_ "

She has never done this before… not with senjutsu chakra, not after being branded with the Ningyo. Fist cocked back, she lets her chakra accumulate as tightly as possible - hitting straight through a tree and into the forest ground. A wave of destruction spreads from her position, the ground under her feet and fist shifting into…

_Crystal?_

And she watches in awe as the ground sinks in a semi-sphere under her hit, propagating in waves of destruction through the forest. But it doesn't stop there - around her, the compressed earth _melts_ under the wave of chakra, solidifying a second later, in the same way that the ground under Sakura did.

She can only stare as spikes of crystal emerge from the ground, growing towards the sky at dizzying speeds, and halting when she lifts her fist from the ground. In an instant, another rumble tells her that it's not over - and she covers herself just in time, as the ground around her loses its precarious balance in tension and _explodes_. Hundreds of shards are shot upwards, through any puppets unfortunate enough to be in a twenty meter radius.

From inside her crystalline-looking stone shelter, Sakura can only try to understand _what the hell just happened_.

' _It looks like a geode gone wrong,_ ' comments her Inner, impressed. A beat, and they share a metaphorical glance filled with understanding. _This is what Maru was trying to teach me!_

That much _watery_ chakra unleashed at once, heating the ground and compressing it to unholy levels, has sparked a chain reaction that she only thought possible by use of kekkei genkai.

It's entirely different from a punch that shakes the ground to its core atoms, making it fall apart - the density of the chakra caused the opposite effect, pressing it _together_ and downward… letting go once it was gone. The ground _exploded_ all on its own, and she is left to stare in the middle of the destruction, as shards of crystal start to come down again.

Her fast reflexes told her to hold onto the ground beneath her feet and use it as cover, but the forest around her has been destroyed. The semi-sphere she is standing in is terrifyingly _empty_ of anything but glimmering stone.

' _My water chakra, combined with the Slug senjutsu, must have sped up the formation of crystal,_ ' she ponders, mind working at top speed. Perhaps a bit too fast, but she chalks it up to adrenaline. ' _So this is what Guren did… manipulating specific components inside the earth, and forcing them to rearrange in the shape she wanted._ '

But only a kekkei genkai should grant such delicate, minute control… or so she thought. She didn't _intend_ to do this - but she had never before tried to apply senjutsu in an attack like this one. The slugs taught her that their natural energy is not only poison - it still preserves the trait that instills _life_ and growth… in one manner or another.

It tells her one thing: if she didn't do it on purpose, it means her power has just snapped out of her control. And indeed, when she tries to stand up, her legs don't respond to her. Sweat and blood pour through her skin, leaving red trails on it and hissing when they crash against the ground. She can feel her grasp on the chakra vanish, and the energy that impulsed her evaporates in the air.

 _I overdid it_.

It was never her style to let things go out of her grasp, especially because she _knows_ that one mistake using senjutsu chakra could kill her. It wasn't enough time to practise… not enough time to master the intricacy of her seal in combination with natural energy. She just made a mistake, perhaps on the overconfident high that senjutsu induces - no matter how impressive it might have looked, it will cost her dearly.

The world blurs out of her vision, and her last thought is a curse at her own foolishness.

* * *

He finds her in the middle of a crater of solidified earth, and her signature is so faint that for a moment he thinks she's dead. The tug in his soul has gotten painfully strong, practically dragging him to Sakura. The blast uprooted trees in a quarter-mile radius, almost comparable to the damage she was able to do during the war. If not for her warning, he would probably have been hit by it.

He can feel the pressure growing in his mind, a dark aura coming to life around both of them as he approaches her still form. The black, amorphous shapes that lurk in his mind materialise in the air that surrounds them, as he forces himself through the steps to approach. A voice filled with hatred whispers _kill, destroy, break._ He tries to ignore it.

She is covered in blood, her skin raw and the Ningyo dark as night. The energy inside and around Sakura is still dissipating when he kneels beside her, mindful of the acid poison that coats her body. With something that in another lifetime he could have deemed embarrassment, he realises her clothes have been half-melted.

' _Pervert, I always knew you wanted it,_ ' snorts the doppelgänger, startling him out of his thoughts. He reassures both of them that it's not his damn fault if Sakura decided to play with acid poison, using whatever power is left in his Rinnegan to check her chakra. Strained, but healthy enough to know that she will be back to the world of the living soon.

' _What am I ever going to do with you?_ ' he internally grumbles. With her sudden attack, most of the puppets were caught off-guard and destroyed - if what he suspects of Toneri is true, and he is capable of watching them, that won't give them much of a respite.

Sasuke considers leaving her there and heading straight to Toneri, before realising that he is no closer to _getting_ there as he was before her arrival. He coats one of his hands in chakra, and then flashes through three specific hand seals. Before releasing the jutsu, he holds her down with the protected hand.

"Water Release: Wild Water Wave," he drones, washing the poison away from her. It seems to hiss in reaction, but she is still in one piece, so he supposes it worked. Tentatively, he pokes her bare forearm with a pinky finger, hearing the mockeries of the doppelgänger in the background.

The oppressive air around them seems entirely too familiar to him, so he tries to block out the screams and put his focus on the task at hand. His fingers twitch with a desire he tries to suppress - even now, it's hard to control the impulse to tear her to pieces with his bare hands.

"Help me a little if you don't want her to die," he growls, turning to the two _other_ Sakuras that are staring at him with morbid fascination and mocking amusement. The doppelgänger glares at him and closes her eyes; Sakura's little 'Inner' looks at her recipient and disappears a moment later.

He can breathe again, even if the dark pulsations of the Curse of Hatred are still there.

Doubting only for a split second, Sasuke puts his attention on summoning Garuda. This is the opening he needed, and he isn't going to waste it. Much to his relief, the hawk summon appears next to him in a puff of smoke.

As if expecting her to burn on contact (which he wouldn't put beyond his luck), he gathers Sakura in his arms, slinging her over his shoulder and jumping to the hawk's back swiftly. He crouches on the feathery back, depositing the pinkette's body in front of him and narrowing his eyes minutely when he looks down at her.

They take off under his order - not towards the sun, but to one of the abandoned villages. There has to be a place where they can hide, better than this. Oblivious to his inner conflict and the fact that they don't have much time left, Sakura is still out of it. He manages to wrench his gaze away only after clumsily taking off his shirt, lifting her up and putting it on her.

There, now he doesn't have to listen to the doppelgänger's jabs about the whole thing. Sasuke still hears her dark snickers, and a replay of the last time he saw Sakura unconscious flashes through his mind. He shakes his head, hands tightening their grip on Garuda's feathers and her body.

"Your annoyance truly has no limits."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll explain all of this here because I know people will be confused - feel free to skip if you're not interested.
> 
> Spoilers about "The Last": right. Naruto, simply put, rekt Toneri's shit when it came down to it. Sasuke should have an even easier time getting through the defenses that plot-stalled in the movie, but surprise: he can't. And here's why - I've finally revealed what's wrong with him. What exactly his jutsu did to Sakura and, most importantly, what it did to him.
> 
> You see, I've called "Ningyo" the "Puppet Seal" even though the word itself means something akin to 'mermaid' - this has been intentional. Sasuke's jutsu was created/used in a moment of unstability for both of them. It has been shown in the past that, with enough intent (and chakra), imprints and vessels can be created (Karura's sand for Gaara is one example, if you wish to see it that way) - essentially, will can manifest. Sasuke didn't want to kill Sakura - he wanted to get her to stop fighting. She wanted him to change his mind.
> 
> See where I'm going? They were both weakened by the end of the massacre - instead of a one-way attack, it bound them both, like a seal. Sasuke's Yin energy was most vulnerable (and Sakura's unintentional target) and ended up restrained; Sakura's Yang energy was drained, but her spirit strong (so her body was the target). They traded a part of those energies, linking them together.
> 
> Sakura "has" the Ningyo/Mermaid side (think of it as a reference to mermaids clouding sailors' minds - and maybe a shipping joke or two), while she is bound by the Puppet Seal (the lines on her skin). Sasuke "has" the Puppet/Ningyō (do I need to explain?), while his mind is stuck with the Mermaid Seal (manifestating as the clone, who only grows stronger with his emotions, denial and especially, hatred).
> 
> They both are lacking something - Sasuke, his sanity; Sakura, her body (so to speak). Their abilities are limited by the part of their soul that they lack, as they can't produce chakra (and in Sakura's case, store) like they used to. Sasuke's curse has manifestated into something physical, giving life to all those phantoms and the doppelganger, due to excess Yang. Sakura's mindscape is vast and complex, and sometimes she is overwhelmed by things created out of nothingness. The fic's avatar (sadly, not in the AO3 version) is there for a reason, people.
> 
> So, Sasuke has lost control of his body in a different way - the overload has given strength to the literal darkness that plagues his soul. His dōjutsu's pathways can become literally blocked if he loses it - and though he is still strong, his lack of control is bad. I'm aware I developed this so he wouldn't be nigh-invulnerable, and for character development's sake. He ain't a wimp; he's just not nearly as strong as he became in canon.
> 
> Toneri also has no reason to stall dealing with him, and he knows Sasuke is weak; without Hinata there, why the hell should he hold back? In his own way, he is grieving Hinata's death - this is his way to deal with it.
> 
> Now, geology: I spent a stupid amount of time investigating crystal/glass formation, and the effects of heat/pressure on earth. Lemme put this out there: I Naruto-fied the effect of Sakura's punch. No, that's not how it happens (but you should look up fulgurites because they're cool as fuck), but that seemed to be an interesting plot development, so I took it. And despite her good luck with taking out the puppets, it means Sakura lost control of her chakra. That's bad, guise.


	40. To the World | Arc V - Road

_To protect you._

Sakura Haruno wakes up with the headache of her life, her whole body burning as if hot needles had been tacked to every inch of her flesh. She also wakes up in a cave for the first time in two years, and feels a shudder run down her spine. The pinkette closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and registering her chakra for signs of a genjutsu.

Nope, this is reality. How did she get here? She could have sworn she got through the tunnel to the… Her eyes fly back open and she sits up, fast as lightning (faster than she should have), her gaze scanning her surroundings in unconcealed panic.

Sasuke notes the fluctuation in chakra, and suppresses a physical reaction. She seems to sense him, though, her eyes homing in on his still figure. And then, to his surprise, she relaxes when she sees him, sighing in relief and dropping back down. That was not what he had expected.

With her awake, the pressure on his mind seems to spike… and then diminishes until it's only a hum at the bottom of his awareness. Sakura seems to be going through breathing exercises, and her self-control is quite astounding to watch.

They remain in silence for what could have been hours, or just a few minutes. Finally, she sits up against the wall of the cave and takes a peek at him. She focuses intently on his face, a tad too much, and then blinks and looks down at herself. Sasuke isn't sure, but that has to be a blush.

"Oh…" she whispers, her voice raspy. Sakura seems surprised, swallowing a few times and testing her vocal cords with a few hums. It still sounds husky, like an off-key note. It must be damage due to poison, he supposes. Finally, she returns her attention to him and examines his injuries thoroughly. There are only some cuts - Sasuke isn't a prodigy for nothing. "What happened?"

"You fainted," he replies, evenly. It probably sounds derisive, but after her destructive display (considering the state her body is in), he is starting to wonder if fighting her fair and square is a good idea. Her mouth opens to form a question, but he responds before the words come out: "you've been out of it for a few hours. We have a day and thirteen hours left."

She sighs in relief at that, nodding.

"Thank you," she murmurs, not looking at anywhere in particular. Sasuke turns his gaze elsewhere, clearing his throat with a noncommittal sound. _After all of this is over, we can go back to being at each other's throats_ , he tries to remind himself, though the voice sounds like the doppelgänger's.

Losing against Toneri isn't an option.

"We need a plan," Sasuke states, matter-of-factly, as if he wasn't (in the clone's words) scared shitless. Sakura turns her attention to him once more, and he realises that she must lack the details in knowledge that he possesses. "I investigated Hamura and his descendants - there are ancient tablets still preserved in Konoha, just like there are for the Uchiha."

"Aren't they coded for Byakugan users?" she inquires, remembering the truth about the texts of the Uchiha. Sasuke gives her an odd glance, unable to remember if she gained that knowledge on her own or through him. No matter.

"Yes. But there is no one with the evolved Byakugan alive. However, the Sharingan is a distant relative of it - with somewhat similar properties in some aspects," he explains. "With both eyes, I was able to retrieve a good part of the information."

His eyes trail to the distant entrance of the cave - judging by the light levels, it must be 'dawn'. The cold atmosphere of their refuge doesn't reflect it, but it seems to be warming up outside. Sakura has to remind herself that it's fake, and this place will be destroyed in less than forty hours if they don't manage to stop Toneri.

"There is a vessel of great energy hidden inside the artificial sun - the Tenseigan," Sasuke continues. "If I'm not mistaken, Toneri stole Hanabi's Byakugan… when combined with the chakra of a descendant of Hamura, it will evolve into a higher form. This is the power that allows him to move the moon."

"Like the Rinnegan?"

"...Perhaps even stronger. It's connected to the Tenseigan _vessel_ itself. Toneri will need some time to develop it to full form, but if he does, and the vessel is still intact, there will be nothing we can do. As of now, his ocular power is similar to mine, so if we can get to him before that happens, we could still stop him."

A flash filled with images, sound and emotion crosses her mind in that moment - a sphere of bright green chakra, flying towards eyes that aren't hers, illuminating in its passing hundreds of malformed monstrosities that are made of pure darkness. Then, everything goes pitch black, silent.

"...I couldn't repel it. Not with my mind in that state," Sasuke mutters, his eyes hard as steel. He had been having an episode of psychosis when Toneri struck. _So that's how Hanabi was kidnapped…_ "However, the Rinnegan should be capable of deflecting it next time we meet. Neither of us has the special chakra required to break the Tenseigan vessel, but I think that, if Toneri is killed, the moon should stop moving as well."

He seems so sure… Sakura can't help but grin a little bit. This is _Sasuke Uchiha_. Determination might as well be his second name - for the best and worst of outcomes.

"But it's not working now," she mutters, looking at him with narrowed eyes. He doesn't say anything, so she continues: "your eyes are dark. I know you can barely see."

She gets up and moves closer to him; Sasuke's eyes look up at her warily, though he doesn't seem to be worried to have a disadvantageous position. Well, at least trust issues aren't going to be a problem, even if it's probably for the wrong reasons.

"I suppose you've already seen that I can use senjutsu chakra," Sakura adds, sitting beside him. "And… it kind of burns through anything and everything. If I apply it to you, it will help you unleash your power..."

"And also create a greater instability." But he makes no move to put distance between them, and she knows that he is aware of the limitations on his body. There is no time to think about consequences - failure means death. Failure... means that everything they both have worked for, will be for naught. He lets out a tired sigh, and finally nods. "Do it."

* * *

Sakura sits with her back pressed against Sasuke's, watching the ground fall further and further away from her as they ascend, holding onto the giant hawk's back. The sky is devoid of puppets, but they must keep their guard high. Sakura turns around to look at the artificial sun, her eyes narrowed. It isn't bright enough to be blinding yet, but details of its surface are indistinguishable to her eyes.

"There is a barrier," Sasuke drones, startling her. She jumps a little, and curses internally, entirely aware that he felt that perfectly. "With my Rinnegan, I could get us through-"

"The puppets come from somewhere, no?" she cuts in, her eyes narrowing and a dangerous smirk spreading on her lips. She feels Sasuke tense against her, making her want to chuckle. He can sense the chakra she is gathering in her body. "You have to save your power. I'll try to create an opening." The Uchiha watches as she turns around, getting up on her feet next to him.

Without further ado, she rolls up an exploding tag and… _swallows it?_ His eyes widen when he reads the accumulation of acidic chakra in her stomach, understanding _exactly_ what she intends to do. She throws her head back, and then spits out the ball of paper like a projectile, straight up.

She just destabilized a scroll of sealwork and then overloaded it with potent chakra, with the perfect timing to ensure it won't explode inside or on her face. He follows the trajectory of the ball until it collides against the surface of the sun, exploding on impact with the different energy.

In less than three seconds, they are swarmed by flying puppets. Sakura has to crouch down and hold tightly onto the hawk's back as it starts to dodge their counter-attack, but Sasuke has already spotted the opening she was looking for. Garuda understands his command, and flies straight toward the next batch of puppets… behind which lies the inner space of the sun.

All the while, Sakura is grinning, her determined eyes darting from one puppet to another. They don't get close enough for her to strike, but Sasuke sees a kunai ready in her right hand. There is something different in her aura, in her very chakra… wilder. He realises that it isn't only the senjutsu chakra, that is making her a lot more _lively_.

It's his own, and it resonates within him like a vibrant wave of warmth. It's only a distant echo of what courses her veins, but it seems to be affecting him too. It feels… darker, somehow.

 _Yin and Yang…_ she looks at him, apparently noticing that he has lost focus completely, if only for a second and half. In those eyes, he can see a reflection and counterpart of himself… and he knows that she sees the same in his.

" _FOCUS!_ " The two voices resonate in their heads at the same time and with the same pitch, making them flinch. Sakura's eyes widen and she pushes him flat against Garuda's back, just in time to void the claws of a bird-puppet that swipe where he had been a moment ago. Similarly, he yanks her by the leg, backward and out of the trajectory of the puppets' ammo.

Sasuke's eyes scan their surroundings intently, taking in every detail of the scenery. There are large floating islands all around them, but he doesn't waste his time enjoying the sights: the palace is right there in the middle of it all, full of contrasting colors and constructions shaped like gigantic fangs.

Garuda steers towards it at his command, while Sakura turns her back to their objective and spits acidic explosive tags at the puppets behind them. She chains the explosions, using stronger tags and triggering them at the same time, but he wastes none of his attention on the flares of light and waves of heat that lick his body from behind.

"Take that, you mechanic weirdos!" Sakura snarls, with a distinctly high-pitched voice that sounds a little bit too enthusiastic. "Yeeees!" she hollers, positively manic. "Eat the bombs, Shannarō! EAT THEM!"

"Sakura!" he hisses, hearing the sizzling sound that her sweat makes upon contact with his shirt. "Your poison is going to kill us all!"

His head is pounding, his vision blurring and strangely devoid of blinding darkness, but useless all the same. Sasuke blinks a few times, trying to contain the the surge of _wrong_ energy that threatens to escape his grasp. He knows she is blinking a few times as well, and her breathing becomes slower, as if she was trying to calm down.

"Ugh…" she groans, and judging by the rustling against his clothes, she just threw her head back on his shoulder. "Senjutsu chakra is worse than any drug. Don't ever use it," Sakura adds, chuckling at some joke he doesn't understand. Her words are slightly slurred, but her movements feel sharp when she throws an explosive at an approaching puppet. "By the way, Sasuke-kun, remember the Gedō Mazō?"

_She sounds so utterly drunk._

"...Yes?" he questions, perplexed. He can't get a good look at her face, but she lets out what sounds like a _giggle_. She coughs, a gurgling sound in which he can picture blood and poison. She spits it out, and he hears the hissing of a dissolving puppet a second later.

"Say hi to his uglier cousin... in three, two, one…"

His first reaction is _how can she see something I can't?_ The doppelgänger bitterly replies that she doesn't really need her _eyes_ , very much unlike him. The third is merely a widening of his eyes as the monstrous golem breaks through the ground of the palace's courtyard, which is tantalisingly close.

With the majority of the flying puppets behind them, they could just make a jump for it. His eyes scan the palace as quickly as possible, but Toneri is nowhere to be found. The readings he is getting from the golem aren't much better: that thing is nigh-indestructible, majorly powered by the Tenseigan vessel.

Sakura focuses her attacks on it, but the kunai don't ever reach target. The golem's roar knocks them off-course, and the poison that manages to splash it does no damage at all. And then, against all that seems logical in this type of situation, Sasuke Uchiha _waits_.

His pinkette teammate has analytical skills that surpass his own, dōjutsu be damned. He can't think clearly, and she at least seems capable of functioning. His mind, lacking the voices and shadows that usually cloud his judgement, is incapable of processing everything nearly as fast as usual.

"We can't kill that," she quickly decides. "It would be like trying to win a stamina bet against Naruto's regeneration." Garuda swerves to the side abruptly to dodge a chunk of rock thrown at them, but many more are bound to follow. Sasuke starts gathering chakra behind his eyes, ready to jump into action at any moment.

"...We don't have time," he duly notes. He feels calm… too calm. His mind feels oddly still and quiet, but he forces himself to remain focused.

"Down! Out of that thing's sight!" she hollers, and the hawk wastes no time diving below the golem's view. The puppets are closing in - they can't remain airborne, or exposed, for much longer. "Toneri is inside… Hanabi is with him," she proceeds. And then, a strange sensation assaults his senses - much like the doppelgänger's projection of the puppets through Yin chakra, he _feels_ two bright lights within the palace. They remain unmoving, in what seems to be a large dining hall.

The pulsations of his headache worsen, and Sakura lets out a shuddering breath; however, now he knows exactly _where_ to aim for.

* * *

Amenotejikara drains more out of him than he is used to, but it's bearable. Sasuke has endured worse, so he is up on his feet and ready to fight within a second. Sakura, on the other hand, is gone in a flash - he can feel the energy gathered in her body, spread accordingly to maximize her speed. There is too much senjutsu chakra, he knows, to compensate for her lack of Yang.

Time is ticking.

Hanabi is already being carried away from the dining hall by servant puppets, and Toneri is up against a glass-paned window, his icy blue eyes focused solely on him, filled with disdain and anger. The ample room is silent - as if, outside, there weren't an army of puppets and a golem.

_We're not late. His eyes haven't evolved yet!_

He redistributes his chakra accordingly, falling into a ready stance - unlike Sakura, he still possesses a sizeable reserve, even if it's lacking on the Yin side. With his pathways cleared, the Mangekyō springs to life alongside the Rinnegan. He still doesn't have enough to use it, but if all goes well, he won't need it.

Toneri's pale expression turns into a snarl and he lunges forward, green chakra coating his hands. It's a different color than the one used for healing - this one… is even more dangerous than the Hyūga's taijutsu style. A single hit would mean all of his internal organs being ruptured - and judging by the amount and potency of the chakra employed, they would probably explode. Sasuke knows he can't take a direct hit from that.

He jumps into the offensive at the same time as his opponent, noting with delight that his speed is still superior. Enough to dodge and deflect the enhanced hits; however, Toneri is skilled enough to do the same. It is a stalemate, he can tell from the beginning.

There is a shift in the chakra, one he has memorised perfectly (the chakra stops trying to _reach out_ and instead tries to _pull in_ ) - his eyes lock with Toneri's, and the man freezes, trapped in a genjutsu for an instant. Sasuke jumps back, avoiding the chakra-absorption technique, the purple silhouette of an incomplete Susanoo appearing around him.

It's filled with cracks, in the places where his chakra is lacking. Where it's stretched too thin - and the Uchiha realises that it won't hold too well.

" _Shinra Tensei!_ " he shouts, the ground cracking beneath the uncontrolled pressure, blasting the room's furniture and walls, and Toneri is knocked backwards before he is able to react. He slams into the window, shattering it, and the chakra in his hands loses its form.

Wheezing slightly, Sasuke wipes off the blood coming out of his eyes, but he is sure that it only manages to smear it on his face even more.

' _Your plan better work, Sakura._ '

He presses his advantage and jumps after his opponent, reaching him before he hits the ground - which, in this case, is the rooftop of a lower part of the palace. Before the puppets can catch on, he shifts his chakra to the front, a punch aimed at Toneri's gut.

The man's pale skin _shifts_ and ruptures, wounds erupting without apparent cause. Sasuke's eyes widen, but he can't stop - the illusion of Sakura's determined, still pleading expression, shatters under his fist. The chakra's flow _halts_ as if it had bumped into a physical wall, and his vision goes dark.

Something _shatters_ in a place he can't locate, and any idea of remaining in control vanishes in the air when he realises he can't move. Yet his body isn't slumped over, or weak. His muscles are tense and ready to continue the fight - it's the world that has blurred out, pockets of air becoming distorted with pictures of nightmares long past.

But he remembers. _Every. Single. Detail._

His body moves on its own accord, but strangely enough, he is still vaguely aware of it. A jump to the side, dodging those damned chakra-laden hits. A somersault at hyper-speed, invisible even to trained eyes, to put him away from Toneri.

He screams, but there is no sound.

* * *

Sakura discovers that the poison in her veins can melt the weapons flung at her, though not in the most pleasant way. It is when she stumbles, her chest (and her entire body, in fact) clenching with a pain that isn't _hers_ , and a sword rams her straight through the gut.

She is bleeding, but it's only superficial - the puppet retreats, seemingly _puzzled_ at the scene before its eyes. Before the machine can calculate how to deal with this turn of events, Sakura's fist has punched straight through its chest. Simply taking off heads or limbs doesn't work on these things. It's their power core that she aims for.

' _What's going on?!_ ' she blurts out, stiffly jumping out of the way of a volley of senbon-like projectiles. ' _Sachi? SACHI!_ ' There is no response, as images start to flash before her eyes at high speed. She has seen them all before. The gut-wrenching sensation makes her want to throw up her measly breakfast, emotions rushing through her mind with no rhythm or sense - blindingly fast.

 _Sasuke is in danger_.

It's something no one spells out for her, that no internal voice indicates. It's something she knows, as if the _pain_ was her own. Hanabi… they took Hanabi away. Not fast enough for her not to chase, but she certainly lost her now.

Hanabi was their only chance at finding Toneri's true weaknesses. He won't kill her, that is for certain, but-

_It's her screams, ear-shattering, echoing even after she loses the ability to scream any more. The gurgle of her bloody breaths, the stench that foreshadows death - tendrils, growing like trees and snaking on her skin, stitching it together with all the force and none of the gentleness._

_Keeping her alive - and forever trapping her in a pitch black cage._

Her limbs won't respond to her, the Ningyo coiling tightly around her for reasons that now she understands perfectly - her skin breaking under the hits and projectiles that slam against her body, as she can't dodge. They will get through, eventually. If they hit her eyes or neck, she will be a goner.

There is only one solution, and she takes a deep breath, remaining still.

Sakura sees the wounds start to sizzle in contact with the air, tiny droplets of melted flesh flung around with her newfound energy. In a split second, she goes from motionlessness to speeds faster than she ever reached before - and then turns around and vanishes, even swifter than she came.

Her punch doesn't shatter the wall of the castle - it sends acidic chakra through the small space between the molecules, and _melts it_. Her jump isn't as carelessly calculated as it seems: she sees the broken roof of one of the towers in the split second it takes before she takes off, and aims straight towards it with a war-cry on her lips.

Her eyes are burning and tears of poisonous blood course down her cheeks, but she has only one thing in mind - and she crashes through another wall as if it were made of water. The sudden explosion forces the combat to come to a halt, and she has perhaps half a second to take in the situation.

Sasuke's skin is covered in dark tendrils that mirror her own, but she can see that they aren't restraining - they are _controlling_. Their eyes meet, and in one of his there is burning hatred; the other holds a silent plea. His gaze is smoky, crimson blotches staining his cheeks and lips.

 _A monster… just like me_.

Sakura's mind spins through apparent tangents - looking for a solution. Yet she is running out of options, and the world is running out of time. In these few instants, Toneri takes a look at the two of them… and retreats, turning his back to them and jumping outside in a flash.

"Sakura…" mutters the Uchiha, and she winces. It sounds like a hundred voices are trying to fit in a single one - and the end result is nothing like the original at all. There is the darkness that drove him insane and destroyed her. The darkness that ate his soul and made him annihilate the Alliance.

She freezes, but the sizzling pain of her wounds brings her back to the current moment. Her pathways are losing their shape, and she tries to channel healing chakra as best as possible. Her secret little technique - without hand-seals.

It's just barely enough to halt the destruction of her body… for now.

"The Seal… is breaking…" she mutters, her tongue barely responsive. It gets more in the way of the words than help with saying them out loud.

"Toneri must be awaiting the final pulsation," Sasuke _growls_. There is something that _can't be human_ shining in those eyes. "We have to defeat him before that. He will be weak for a moment, and then invincible."

Sakura nods, shakily. She already knows. She extends a hand, and the room around them becomes ashen, the walls crumbling as the screams and smoke and fire fill the air. In her fingers there is a black feather, humming with the sound of distant bells. Their eyes lock, the chorus of madness speeding in crescendo.

The faint breeze carries the feathers around them, and then she lets go of the one she holds. The kunai clatters to the ground, splashing in a pool of blood - the droplets of which extend until they become whips, and then gigantic tentacles filled with limbs and faces. They rise around them, writhing in the air and ascending towards the sky, past the stormy clouds.

The sky is grey, but they still see it. Behind him, the red sun rises - behind her, the green moon. Her hand is open to him, her skin laced with wounds old and new. As their steps take them closer, the celestial bodies race for the zenit. The screams grow, and the shadows dance around them, lashing out with claws made of nightmares. Their eyes shine with the uncontrollable energy of a Tailed Beast.

She looks like a child, Sasuke notes. Too young, her hair too long, yet the injuries remain in plain sight. In comparison, he is still mostly hidden from view - but his height is almost the same as hers. Above them, there is no eclipse.

When their fingers touch, the celestial orbs explode, unleashing armageddon upon this personal hell. The flash of light blinds them, and then it's all gone.


	41. Chapter 37: To the Past | Arc V: Road

_To love you._

Unconditionally. The hidden steps have been retraced without a question of logic or reason; the path has been walked in the dark and never left behind. Even if there were easier routes, easier ways to escape the all-encompassing pain. Never asking, never doubting - even if it meant forsaking everything, including the right thing to do.

This is what it means when they say _no matter what_. The true extent of promises of eternity - a glorified cage, as they found out when they tried to escape and couldn't.

This is what it signifies, to say _I'll always be there_. Not a moment of true loneliness, not a moment of forgetting who it was, on the other side of the chain - as they found out when they tried to shut each other out and away, and couldn't.

This is what it is, to love unconditionally - they have remained together, after all. Through thick and thin, in anger and despair. And this is what they discover, when they stand together to fight on the same side, when they sacrifice themselves for something they both have in common…

When they look inside to look for what was missing, trying to find it... and _finally_ _can_.

It has begun. The final step towards salvation and self-destruction.

The wind picks up speed, tearing the ashes away from the floor and flinging them up into the air. A hurricane closes around them, tighter, filled with whatever remains of dreams and times long past, of people long time dead (but not gone). It spins faster, engulfing the shadows around them in its flow of chakra.

All they can see is the eclipse up above, and even that is devoured by the grey within seconds. Broken bits of feathers dissolve as they fly with the currents, the wind taking away their breaths and _something_ that lies beyond the illusion of their bodies. The roar becomes stronger than the screams and the bells, the sheer power behind it making them freeze on the spot.

Something tenses around them, burning their skin and pressing against chests. _It_ flows from one side to the other, sent in an intercalary rhythm that matches their heartbeats. One moment she is breathing in and he loses _his_ ; the next, their positions switch.

Sakura's hair dances wildly around her head and face, a tiny, imperceptible smile on her lips; a pained frown in her eyes. Deep within her, a place that had been too empty starts to feel whole again, and every breath feels better than the last. At the same time, something is torn apart, destabilizing the structure of her body, lifting a _weight_ \- opening a dam. She feels alive, even if she knows she is dying.

Sasuke's eyes shine in the near-absolute darkness, the chakra filling the space devoid of light that clouded them before. His thoughts chain with one another like they haven't in years, and everything feels clear, unveiled… brighter. The energy coiled deep within him escapes, making his body feel exhausted and numb, but free of _the weight_ \- of the pressure that he could barely contain before. He feels… free.

He nearly groans when Sakura finally pulls away, and it takes her strength to tear herself away from him before the Seal breaks apart completely. The aura around her revitalizes, her body increasing in power tenfold, and the pinkette… takes a whiff of air and snickers like a child. His puzzlement must be obvious, because she seems to find his expression funny.

"It smells like you," she mutters, her voice bubbly and her eyes bright. "I suppose it's because you've been keeping this chakra all this time."

Sasuke doesn't have to blink twice to dispel the shadows in the corners of his eyes - there are none. The world looks clear and sharp to him, as if he had been seeing it from the bottom of a cave before this moment. As if some sort of barrier had been broken, and now he was _here_ instead of locked up, somewhere in the back of his mind.

"Hurry up," he determines, setting his eyes on Toneri's escape route. "It won't last."

And much to his surprise, Sakura hollers a ' _yes, Sasuke-kun!_ ' and speeds past him without looking back. He represses the urge to blink and stare instead of move after her - that was _fast_. Free of hesitation - before the… merging, every one of her movements had an air of restriction to it, as if it were a struggle to move.

Right now, it feels like she could slip by as if she were water. He could feel every single one of her heartbeats through her chakra, her emotions unchained and every motion free and unsubdued.

The sizzling sound intensifies, as she zeroes in on Toneri's location, like an overly enthusiastic hound. He realises that her skin and flesh are melting off at a faster rate than before, and repairing much easier, but that doesn't seem to bother her at all.

If anything…

They run over the rooftops of the castle, and a small swarm of puppets comes to greet them. Sakura doesn't even look at them, swinging her arm in an arc and spraying droplets of acidic poison (mixed with blood and bits of flesh) on them… causing them to break apart within seconds.

" _Even my blood is stronger than you wimps!_ " she hollers, and then flashes him a smile whose teeth are stained with crimson. Her gaze almost looks feral. " _Don't you worry! We got this!_ "

He has to remind himself that she isn't some sort of Naruto clone in that moment. Those eyes… there is nothing but blinding determination shining in them. She knows that destabilizing the Seal like this means they are probably going to die sooner than later - and she doesn't give a damn.

This is the Sakura that is seldom seen- the one that, time after time, is willing to stand her ground even if it means going against him. Even if she still wants the best for him, no matter what that might be. She never, ever gave up… and she looks so much like her old self, unlike the shadow that he has known for the last two years, that his heart skips a beat.

She doesn't bother redirecting her chakra for a strength-enhanced hit against her target (apparently, it's a spherical island that floats within another, one shaped like a crescent moon). No… she merely amps up the amount of senjutsu chakra for a second, and melts her way through, effortlessly. She doesn't ever touch the stone, and a battlecry is on her lips as she disappears inside the island.

The chakra readings are unmistakable - the Tenseigan vessel is hidden within.

As he jumps through the opening, a wall of black flames springs up behind him, blocking the puppets from chasing after them. His eyes take in the ample room that houses Toneri's source of power - the man himself is standing a few meters away, next to the large, golden-shining orb that is the vessel. A few armored puppets wait for orders by his sides.

Even the atmosphere in her trail is overloaded with chakra, and Sakura wastes no more time. She cries her heart out, her skin slowly melting off and black smoke enshrouding her figure, as she charges at speeds higher than a body should be able to withstand. Sasuke is quiet. His eyes, however, are sharp and focused, his body oozing dark matter as if it were sweat.

The air is thick with the pinkette's chakra; even being near her would be dangerous by now. She is losing control of it, and she knows.

His muscles twitch and spasm, throwing off his calculations every few moments. The overload makes him _clumsy_ , and he hates every second of it. It means nothing if they gave each other part of the chakra they were missing, after breaking down the Seal. They are still broken.

He takes a deep breath, but his inhalation halts midway when he feels the pressure around his lungs. The Yin chakra will run out again, eventually.

A sense of hunger is claiming his mind - he wants that chakra _back_. He wants it back like he wishes his family was alive. Or maybe that's the him of the past, because their deaths gave his life a meaning. Itachi's sacrifice did. But something is still missing. He wants to tear Sakura Haruno apart in search of what is his, and she knows.

They can only trade so much chakra without breaking the Seal, but as it wanes in his reserves, Sasuke feels his mind become cloudier, the hunger stronger. He sees Sakura start to have difficulty controlling her body, her steps leaving a trail of blood behind her.

He doesn't know how it happened, but she does - she has spent a very long time investigating the inner working of her mind. And she realised, in the end, that the Seal is nothing but a manifestation of willpower - their wish to keep each other under control.

His mind, her body. The secondary effects were making one insane, the other a cripple.

But she just - she gave it _back_. Sakura understood what had to be done faster than he did. She tore her own body and returned part of what had been stolen from him. He responded in kind, perhaps without truly realising it. The coalesced chakra that forms the Seal is crumbling apart, clouding the atmosphere around their bodies.

They're going to die. He knows that just as well as he knows that Toneri must be defeated. He observes, calculating, trying to evaluate the opponent's strength before wasting his energy like Sakura is doing. She moves too fast to be touched, and the few weapons that do reach her body merely melt, inches away from her skin. Toneri, himself, is simply dodging with a moderate amount of effort.

Sakura stops her fruitless charges, wheezing in gurgly breaths, turning towards him - Sasuke notes that her eyes have specks of gold in them, no doubt because of the imperfect Sage Mode. One of the little twinkles pops out of existence when she halts her movement, and he realises that the nerves in the area have been killed. She notices too, blinking and frowning. The pinkette's silhouette blurs and she is in front of him in an instant.

She turns to him to speak, but only blood comes out. Frustrated, Sakura puts her hands on his shoulders (and he notes that she is barely preventing the acid from burning his skin off) and infuses him with Yin chakra. He holds her hands in his, and realises that the exchange of energies is happening without him having to do anything.

He could stop it if he wanted, but he doesn't.

The shield of the Susanoo springs up around them, cracking the a ancient stone and halting the advance of the puppets' projectiles. Toneri will not attack - he is biding his time. He is waiting for the final pulsation of chakra that will evolve the Tenseigan to its final stage - which will leave him defenseless for a few precious seconds. He can't afford to risk it.

Toneri's eyes settle on hers coldly, and she snarls and charges ahead. A moment later, Sasuke realises what she needed - the dosage of senjutsu chakra in her _spikes_ through the roof, and she is gone in the blink of an eye. She dodges between the bright green projectiles that try to eat her chakra, and by the time Sasuke is beside her, the ground is already a mess of acid and cracked stone.

She looks like a monster, unhinged, feral - her sole purpose, to destroy the man threatening what she cares about. Sasuke observes for a second or two, and then starts to take out the few puppets that remain inside the room.

He owes her a chance at doing this, for giving him the chance to feel whole again.

The doppelgänger has gone quiet. His mind isn't so weak anymore, and for once there is sky-shattering clarity in his thoughts. Everything feels sharper, brighter, _real_. He is here in the world, instead of locked up in his own mind. He is _back_.

If he thinks of it as some sort of grueling training (a weight that couldn't be taken off), the disappearance of their respective halves of chakra has strengthened them. Susanoo springs to life stronger than ever, _form made out of nothingness_. At the same time, the overload of Yang chakra makes keeping his movement difficult, but at least he is in control of the will behind it - and the Susanoo is a lot easier to control than his own limbs.

Sakura, on her side, has developed a true aura of chakra, the Yin overload… He blinks a second time, just to make sure. The air around her is wavering, due to what he assumes are obscenely high temperatures.

Crystals are springing from the floor at sonic speed, appearing in the air around her and exploding into uncontrolled growth. If she throws a small pebble, by the time it flies across a few feet it's the size of a boulder, filled with jagged edges and _still growing_. These things are _alive even though they shouldn't_.

The combination of Yin, Yang and senjutsu are making of her style something extremely difficult to predict. His own… is so strong that no puppets remain after a mere thirty seconds of battle. That the cave around them has started to give out and collapse, even though he _tried_ not to break it.

They are loose cannons, overloaded and near the edge of internal collapse, but they can't be stopped.

Not even by themselves.

Sakura steadies her breathing as much as possible. Flesh and skin melt, only to be knit together a moment later - and then disappear again. It's agony. Every movement brings Sakura closer to the edge, teetering so close to the abyss that she might be unable to stop the fall. Her body is moving almost on its own accord, responding so fast to her awareness that she isn't sure she is in charge anymore.

She doesn't care.

Everything that was trapped inside is finally coming out, overflowing and out of her grasp. She has no rein over the crystals, none over the strange shadows that start to take shape around her. _Freedom_ comes at a price - and she is losing herself in it.

Toneri is able to repel her attacks, but the cool-down for his repulsion technique leaves her plenty of room to take advantage of his weakness. His taijutsu is practically flawless, his movements fluid as he dodges the projectiles as if they weren't there. Yet she keeps charging, unstoppable, the ground melting and cracking at her feet.

The air is overloaded with poisonous and acidic chakra, a coat of extremely dark purple that destroys anything within range in seconds. As Toneri finds out, even expelling a sheen of his own chakra won't work as protection. It devours everything.

Sasuke is still watching in silence.

Sakura never truly touches Toneri, instead using her chakra as a direct weapon. Her movements are jerky, but they build up momentum and strength - where she lacks mobility, she makes up for it with deadly precision. The chakra responds to her as if it were an extension of her own body, her signature so bright it's almost blinding.

He waits, steadying his breath and the spasms of his muscles. Toneri twitches.

The final pulsation sends Toneri to the floor, and Sakura charges ahead with a gutural, wet roar. She cocks her head back before spitting a stream of acid poison at her fallen opponent, raising her arms in the air and bringing down gigantic claws made of chakra. Like overgrown scalpels, they tear through anything in their path - even the floor beneath.

There is no climatic ending. Underneath the sizzling and hissing that Sakura's body creates, Sasuke hears a muffled scream and the crack of bones. Blood flies through the air and splatters against what is left of the ground, only to be consumed by the hungry chakra around her.

It takes a moment for him to realise the second shriek that fills the room is hers.

The chakra cloak collapses around her, and he can feel the shift in the energy from fifteen meters away. His eyes widen when he sees that the misshapen, crushed body beneath hers… _is too small_.

The scream rises in his throat, without a voice, its intensity going in crescendo as the Susanoo evolves and transforms around him and his eyes start spinning. There is laughter in his ears, hundreds of glimmering, unforgiving eyes, opening in the dark shadows that surround him. Red tint and familiar wetness cloud his vision, as he charges ahead, to her fallen form.

Sakura has enough time to look up, frozen in fear and guilt, but her body doesn't respond to her nearly fast enough. Sasuke's movements, however, are fueled by rage and unadulterated hatred - Susanoo's feet land by her sides, sinking in the melted ground, as the shield comes down between her and Toneri's berserk attack, making the chakra sphere bounce harmlessly to the side.

The girl blinks only once, but remains very, very still. As if she couldn't believe she is still alive, which (he has to admit) is a reasonable reaction. His thoughts ( _hurry up!_ ) seem to carry over to her perfectly, because she jumps a little bit and looks down with remorse. The last remains of Hanabi's chakra start to dissipate in the air.

Her final expression was a blank mask, her fingers still tangled into the final hand seal for _Kawarimi_.

An idea (a completely crazy, sacrilegious idea) comes to Sakura's mind an instant later, as she tries to gather her bearings. She can't move, and her body slumps over, completely stiff and out of her control. She grits her teeth, but forces herself to _gather_ the chakra around her.

Her body is covered in blood and entrails that aren't hers.

Three seconds have passed, tops, but they feel like an eternity. Susanoo's other arm swoops down, encasing her between its fingers and pushing her inside the ribcage, unceremoniously. She falls against Sasuke, who doesn't budge, and ends up sprawled inside the safe zone.

She can barely breathe, and the Ningyo only tightens in presence of its creator; much to her surprise, Sasuke has started to wordlessly transfuse chakra to her. At least, her strength is slowly returning ever so slightly.

A drop of blood lands by her knees, and she just barely manages to look up. The aura of the Susanoo is almost entirely black, and it reverberates with Sasuke's heartbeat, the pulsations fast and strong. Her head is spinning, and she can hear the screams clearly. The Uchiha looks down at her, his eyes clouded by something much darker than mere insanity, and she represses the urge to move into a defensive position. Instead, she looks down.

Though she can feel the movement of the Susanoo, her eyes can barely discern the details beyond its armor. She does catch a glimpse of a bright turquoise blur, speeding towards them and impacting against the shield once more. Her body is slumped against Sasuke's right leg, and she senses the trembling and tension in the muscle beyond the cloth.

It's more than seething rage - the strain is hurting him too.

Sasuke makes no move when her trembling hands reach up, under the remains of his undershirt and onto his bare stomach. Frowning in concentration, Sakura starts to put effort into her own chakra transfusion, releasing a shuddering breath when the energy leaves her.

There is new blood under her fingers: the crystals have solidified, partially in her blood and partially over her skin, like jagged armor. It scratches him, but there is no pained reaction - only another jump, out of Toneri's trajectory this time, making them airborne. The ceiling caves in around them, but they all are unfazed by it.

_Get the hell up._

Her own internal voice screams at her, thankfully louder than all the others, and Sakura bites her lips in frustration. It takes nearly half a minute to push the chakra in the right way, but her legs finally become responsive once more. Her left hand holds onto Sasuke's arm for support, and she pushes herself up, nearly collapsing again.

Sweat and blood course down her forehead, a cough escaping her lips and splattering him with blood. Either he doesn't care, or is too focused on the battle to even notice. She moves behind him, sliding both arms around his midsection and slumping against his back. The chakra flows with a lot more ease towards his core, as black tendrils start to hiss and curl around them both.

It's difficult to reach out for natural chakra from here, but she manages. After all, she doesn't have to move anymore. Even staying awake is almost too taxing, but the Ningyo holds her in place.

_We missed the final pulsation. Toneri's emotions pushed him to the last stage… and without destroying the Tenseigan vessel, he won't ever tire._

Turning her attention inward, Sakura finds herself in a cracked version of her mindscape. Fissures and tendrils of darkness sneak through the air and landscape, as if they occupied a different dimension on their own, barely holding it all together. Those angles make no sense in a three-dimensional vision. The space itself seems to be stretched or compressed in different places, completely distorted.

There is no color.

Her Inner voice can take care of gathering senjutsu chakra for her - but she isn't here anymore. The best way to do it is to sit in her own mindscape and meditate, because it allows her to drown out any distraction outside. She settles on the withering grass, watching it turn to ashes under her body, and starts the task.

Meanwhile, Sasuke Uchiha finds himself on the edge of cursing very loudly, a bizarre impulse whose cause he pins on the doppelgänger. Toneri is moving at speeds that only the likes of Naruto would be able to keep up with. He is in no condition to take on this opponent alone.

It's taking all he has to keep the Susanoo up… and Sakura is nearly unconscious, clinging to him in an effort to pass as much chakra as possible. His skin is being burnt and cut upon mere contact, her body temperature far too high. Her arms are bloated and bleeding, the dark tendrils closed around her body in an asphyxiating embrace.

The wings of Susanoo carry it away from the ground, its armour impervious to the puppets' projectiles. Toneri flashes from one island to another, Truth-Seeking Balls floating around him. The first one sails past the Susanoo and crashes against an island, obliterating it. The second one narrowly misses, and Sasuke tries to calculate how many hits he would be able to take in his current state. The results aren't promising.

"I… have an… idea…" the girl spits out, choking in her own blood. She shudders, and the crystal spikes grow around her body. If her- if _their_ control fails, they're both dead. "Fuse... it. Chakra… fuse it!" she hisses out, her syllables slurred and nearly impossible to understand.

He understands what she means, when she starts pushing his Yang chakra _back_ , still feeding her spare Yin. The senjutsu chakra flares around her - even though it's subdued and channeled, he can still feel the corrosive aura like a bite on his skin. Its ratio in comparison to Yin chakra is absurd; when compared to the Yang chakra she has... it's suicidal. They are both too bare to its action, whatever protection they had has been burned or melted away almost in its entirety.

She is going to die very soon at this rate, but the boost is enough to reinforce the Susanoo and sharpen his mind considerably. Sasuke notes that her own chakra is seeping into the Susanoo, strengthening it with natural energy.

_To the right!_

He responds to her words without a second thought, slashing with the chakra construction's sword to the spot that she is _telling him_ to hit, in a way that feels almost fueled by instinct. Toneri's movement halts, the blade coming down in his path and nearly smashing him against the ground. He jumps back, awfully close to the purple sword, but still out of reach.

Sakura is using her Yin chakra, alongside senjutsu, to sense Toneri without needing to see him. He recognises the technique that the doppelgänger used. Their energies are intertwined beyond what should allow for survival in the long term, but… it's two against one. She is partially in control of the Susanoo itself, but Sasuke can only smirk slightly at that.

They still have a chance.

_Slash!_

He does, though it isn't nearly close to being a direct hit - instead, a wave of acidic chakra is emitted by the blade, cutting through Toneri's cover with ease and nearly slicing him in half. The combination of Yin and senjutsu chakra is a deadly one, he has to admit, but she is overusing the latter, pushing way past the limits.

_You're going to die within minutes at this rate._

Sakura shakes her head, increasing the burning sensation between his shoulderblades. He doesn't have to look to know there is a wry smile on her face.

"Then… be... f-fast…" she mutters, her voice barely a whisper. Her whole body shivers, scratching his back and stomach, but he pays it no mind. She is counting on him to be able to do this… and their time is running out.

Her awareness seems to be almost entirely out of her body, spread through his mind and Susanoo by use of the Seal. She is still there, even if her voice is becoming more and more faint.

The sword slices with ease through one of Toneri's black spheres, exploding too close for comfort. A golden glow shines through the debris of a nearby island and smoke from the detonation, and Sakura's warning is almost an instant too late. A blade of light slices through the air… and the islands… and the moon around them. As if it were all made of butter.

Sasuke's eyes widen minutely, the Susanoo swerving out of the way and landing atop one of the few intact islands. A second later, Toneri charges ahead, wielding another blade and clearly intending to cut them in half. Sword and shield come forth to deflect and halt the advance of the golden blade, yet without solid ground, all Sasuke can do is push it aside and move away. The ghastly aura of the Susanoo shivers minutely upon the strain.

_Ninja use dirty strategy… aim for the weak spot now that we still can._

His head turns to look at the unprotected Tenseigan vessel, floating amid the debris, far away from them. Toneri is highly unstable, that much he can tell - he has to be blinded by grief at the loss of Hanabi, even if she saved his life due to her brainwashing. Could they manage to make him strike the vessel itself…?

 _Only Hamura's chakra can break it… and I have it._ _Hanabi must have met him… it's very little, but if we put all our strength into one hit…_

Sakura's voice trails off, and Sasuke honestly considers a double-take to ensure he understood properly. She must have… gathered it. That's what her variation of senjutsu style does: draw energy from around her and transform it. When she killed Hanabi, she must have noticed… and stored it.

He also honestly considers praising his teamma- ex-teammate. Only Sakura would notice, analyse and employ something like that to their advantage.

Toneri takes note of the Susanoo's sharp turn, and even if he isn't a ninja, he immediately notices their objective. Pellets of the Truth-Seeking Balls rain down upon them, too many to be dodged. Sasuke grits his teeth - he needs to hold on… just long enough.

Sakura's body starts to go slack and slump against his fully, but her voice still reaches him. The chakra she has stored so carefully courses his veins, with a power he hasn't felt in years, channeled towards the bow and the sword. A gigantic arrow of chakra ignites with black fire, and Sakura's final order is to _fire right now_.

The sword's slash sends a wave of purple chakra through the air, faster than Toneri, sailing straight towards the vessel at speeds that break the sound barrier. The arrow goes right after, trailing behind the wave… as it cuts through the rings around the Tenseigan, impacting neatly in the middle. The arrow hits in the center of the crack, and for a brief instant, there is silence.

He feels dizzy, and Sakura's body has fallen to the ground of the Susanoo's ribcage, twitching and bleeding. He put all he had into that hit… the amount of Hamura's chakra in it was abysmally small in comparison to the rest, but it might have been their only shot at breaking the vessel.

The Tenseigan starts to fill with purple cracks, its light growing to blinding levels… and then it explodes. The Susanoo dissolves in the air, barely managing to shield them from the blast...

The last thing he sees is Toneri's bright turquoise figure disappearing in the light, puffing out like a candle. Then his back impacts against the stone of a floating island, Sakura landing flat against the front of his body. She doesn't move or make a sound, collapsing in a heap.

Then, the world goes black, and he knows no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There won't be updates for three weeks. Sorry, folks!
> 
> After that, it's two more chapters to go.


	42. To the End | Arc V: Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, more than a year later and over thirty updates after we started. This is the final chapter of Barebones (except for the epilogue). Yes, folks, this is where it ends - there's no sequel to the story.
> 
> I'll warn you in advance: there is overusage of pronouns and repetition of words. For a reason.
> 
> I wish you a good read.

_To kill you._

The meadow is now endless, the forest that encased it mostly burnt down. The village and woods have turned to ash, and the color of the world is gone, replaced by blurry shapes drawn in shades of gray. A soft breeze picks up the dust and rustles the strands of grass.

Sakura Haruno watches as the shadows that plagued her mind dissolve under the summer sun.

"The Seal is mostly broken now," mutters her Inner voice, though there is no one beside her. She is alone, and everything is eerily quiet. She would have wished for this silence mere days ago, but now it feels like something of vital importance has been lost. "There isn't much time left."

Her vital energy is waning ever so slowly, draining away. Sakura knows with all certainty that she is dying, and nothing in this world could save her now. Employing such a high concentration of natural chakra was the last strand - it ate through the Seal and her body as if they were made of paper.

Perhaps, if there was time… if Tsunade-shishou was still alive.

Eerie, the scenery around her seems to beckon her - calling from a place far beyond the horizon of life. But it's not strong enough to be forceful, not yet. There is one last mission she has to accomplish.

"Everyone is gone," she mutters, shivering. The shards of souls have lost the consistency that allowed them to seem human. The majority are entirely gone - there is only a faint trickling right under her skin, that tells her of voices that can't speak. The last intact bits of the Seal, that still connect her to Sasuke.

As long as it holds out, she will live, but it's a reduced countdown.

It's like losing them all again, even though this time, she was ready to sacrifice everything. It gives her a margin of consolation; this time, the choice was hers. This time, they weren't torn from her hands. Her fingers try to close around something, but there is nothing to hold onto.

_Just like with Maru… I never got to say goodbye._

Her patchwork of a life is crumbling around her, and that's fine. The sense of urgency that she feels comes from knowing that there is little time left, not fear. And with that, comes a resolution that she hadn't felt before: she will do what has to be done without an ounce of hesitation.

She has to make sure that Sasuke won't bring darkness to this world, ever again.

* * *

How they survived is almost beyond him. Toneri is dead - he has to be, because there was only silence awaiting them when he woke up. The puppets are nowhere to be seen, and the empty moon is now in ruins. The blast broke apart the sun-shaped shield that encased the castle, but Susanoo shielded them from the worst of it.

The body of an unconscious Sakura rests against Sasuke's back, her arms over his shoulders. She finally managed to do what held her back - and burned through the Ningyo with near-pure natural chakra, unleashing the Yin Seal once more. That has to be why she is still alive, her body automatically regenerating its corroded muscles and flesh.

Her skin is squelchy and irritating on his, falling apart with wet sounds, as new cells replace the damage in her wounds. The technique is working much slower than it was in the fight, but it's enough to keep her alive.

He doesn't feel much better. His body is stiff, and his head is dizzy. He can barely put two and two together, the thoughts unchained and entirely out of his control. His chest is tight, not only because of the overload of Yang chakra - it's anxiety. Sasuke knows what fear is, but he is barely able to shake it off this time.

_Too weak._

The flight towards the exit of the moon feels eternal, yet he can't urge at Garuda to go any faster. His vision becomes doubled and unfocused, nausea threatening to make him spill the contents of his stomach. He has no plans, no ideas. There is nothing in his mind, but the need to reach a place where he and Sakura will have a chance at survival.

The voices are gone, that's the worst part - that emptiness is not something _good_. Something is missing, but he can't put his finger on what.

It occurs to him, as they cross the collapsing genjutsu that will take them back, that the doppelgänger has been awfully quiet. He doesn't hear her laugh, doesn't feel anything but a moment of pure terror, when he finally sees the exit again - only for his whole body to seize up, his limbs trembling and out of his control.

Out of his control…

His right hand leaves its position, securing Sakura's arms around his neck, and rises in front of his eyes. Its fingers wiggle. That is the last thing he knows, before everything goes dark.

He never moved.

* * *

"Do you know what this place is?"

Sakura's lips form a tight line, her nails digging into the ground with enough force to bleed. Her eyes are steely, but the man in front of her seems to find it amusing.

 _Traitor. Once a traitor, always a traitor_.

She should have known that there was no hope. That he wouldn't stop seeking his goals, even if it meant betraying her like this. He probably didn't care. He never did. Maybe, when they were kids... But now, they are enemies. He massacred the Alliance, for Kami's sake! How could she have been so stupid? Why did she give him a chance?

"The Valley of the End," Sasuke continues, ignoring every single one of her reactions (and her silence). "You should have known this place, Sakura."

His tone is derisive, directly jabbing at her. She is too angry to care. She just wants to punch his face in, with whatever chakra is left in her Yin Seal. The humming of her extra storage is something she had missed, despite possessing it for a very short time.

"Are you done with the speeches?" she spits out, jade eyes lit up with her inner fire. Regeneration has brought her body to a state where it's fully functional again - but she knows that there is a drain, further than medical chakra can reach, siphoning her life-force away. The sealmaster that healed Isobu might have been able to save her, but she knows she won't make it in time. "Just kill me, if that's what you want."

Those mismatched eyes are as cold as ice, but his laugh is a hearty one. As if she had said something stupid enough to count as a joke. She stands up to her feet as he does, because either he isn't going to execute her, or her death won't be pretty. Sakura Haruno won't die while sitting down in front of this madman.

"I wish," he growls out, voice deep and dangerous. There is a feral glint in his eyes, and suddenly Sakura feels pressured - cornered, like prey. Something in there screams _run_ , but she can't escape. Her mind wants to conjure the thousand memories that tell _why_ , but she does not move an inch. He puts a wry half-smile on his lips, one fake and entirely unsuited for someone like him. "I love you. And that's a problem. I would have a hard time dealing with you, if you didn't attack me. So, go ahead. This will be the fight that decides the winner."

"There was no time to recover from the mission to the moon," Sakura replies, ignoring the way her heart skips a beat. _I love you_. Such plain words, yet with so much meaning. And yet, he has used them like a weapon. They _will_ be a weapon if she can't get a hold of herself.

However, inside her, everything is serene. There is no fear, no running. She will fight him, even if it means tearing down everything else she cares about. She will win, even if it means dying here. Tenten and Lee will bear the news of her death - and Sasuke's fall. Takigakure will take over. Even if she dies, the world will be safer.

"We never specified those terms, dear. We put our challenge on hold," he retorts, his eyes narrowing slightly. She returns the gesture, fists closing by her sides. "Whoever wins can go back and claim Konoha."

Something about his words is off, but the time to scrutinize his intentions and discern his real goals has long passed. Sakura steels herself for this task. He's an enemy - of Konoha, of the world. This is also a personal vendetta… _and he will go down_.

There is nothing in her world but the two of them - her target, her perfectly calibrated body. Nothing, but this moment.

It is without a single word or battlecry that she charges ahead, fist cocked for the delivery of the first of many deadly hits.

It is in silence, that their final battle begins.

* * *

The screams were never his. Only in his oldest nightmares, he would be the one crying out, his life shattered. Now, it is his voice that reverberates against the walls of an intangible prison. It are his hands, trying to reach out, grasping for something well out of reach.

It's his haunted soul, that tries to break free of the cage in his own body.

_Sit back and watch the monster you have created. Watch it rip to shreds everything you hold dear; because, by the time I am done, there will be nothing but ashes left in this world._

The voice echoes around him, ominous beyond words and thundering in his ears loudly enough to cover the sound of his thoughts. There is no escaping here.

Thoughts… They feel so disconnected and weak, but they are clearer than they were before… he ended up here. He knows, with all certainty, that his Yin chakra is still lacking - and that's why he can't break free of the prison in his own mind.

There is desperation coursing swiftly through him; he can feel his body, his own words (which don't belong to him, they don't!), the motions that drag him further into a deadly dance. Sakura is his partner, and the light in her eyes speaks of a woman determined to achieve a goal.

A light he had only seen so brightly in Naruto's eyes. A light he snuffed out - and now, the doppelgänger wants to do the same to her, because he can't.

_Because you're too weak! You pathetic excuse of a shinobi!_

He can't muster a voice to reply to her. No… That thing is not a girl. It is not Sakura, and he can barely comprehend how could it evolve into this. It was just a voice in his head - a conscience for all the cold justice imparted. For all the sins he committed.

When did it go wrong? When did it become so powerful? Its steady gain of power overtime… Perhaps he should have expected it, weakened as he was when he finally reached home. He couldn't think straight- wait, that meant he _was_ truly exhausted. Barely clinging to life. Yes. He feels a rush of thoughts, as if his mind had been awaked from its sleepy state.

_Fool! You allowed me to become what I am. You gave me a purpose. I am not your enemy - I am your fault._

A flash crosses his mind - memories that were carefully suppressed, a long time ago.

Nine beasts of chakra, held at his mercy as he stood over the corpse of his old teacher. They were under his control… and he could feel their power in his veins. It had been a sudden idea, to draw their power in order to get the upper hand against Naruto.

It had been a sudden thought, to trick and kill him in order to win.

But it worked, as underhanded as it had been. He became marginally stronger - breaking through Naruto's attack, that should have been even to his. The last thing he remembers is a look of brief surprise, and then horror.

The boy's body disintegrated shortly after.

Nine beasts of chakra, whispering in his ears, in his heart, with their immeasurable power. As soon as Naruto's life force exploded out of him, they reacted even worse than they had to his command - and he could never, for the life of him, piece together what happened next.

He knows, now. Now that he can look from inside and see what built the doppelgänger.

_Yes, yes…! Accumulation of human negative human emotion. YES! FINALLY, YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU FOOL!_

Horror dawns on him. It was not his right judgement, that brought him to slaughter the Alliance. It was pure, raw hatred and _sorrow_ at the atrocity he had just committed. Sasuke Uchiha had just plummeted off the edge due to an _impulse_ that didn't even feel his.

Power had corrupted him, in a way that he hadn't anticipated. He had been so sure that everything was in control. That he knew how the Rinnegan worked, that he had it in the bag to face off Naruto.

He had been wrong. He was influenced by something he considered minuscule, he underestimated the Tailed Beasts and paid the ultimate price for it.

His soul. His sanity. His body.

It _was_ him who, enraged, tried to destroy everything and everyone. It _was_ him who tortured Sakura to the brink of death.

It is _not_ him, fighting her now, trying to break whatever is left of her body and spirit. It is _not_ him, swearing in a loud and mocking voice that this wretched world will be annihilated, and everything in it.

 _You were_ never _in control - not since the moment your integrity was forsaken! Shinobi are pawns, and you became one for your goal! But who would be there to command you?! WHO?!_

He doesn't want to kill everyone, he wants to guide them to a better world! He doesn't want to reign in tyranny over Konoha, he wanted to sever ties with it! He never wanted to do this to Sakura… Never wanted to do what he did to Naruto.

He can't scream, and the voice hollers openly, regaling both him and Sakura with its disdain.

He understands now - how chakra coalesced into shapes that should have been impossible. The Tailed Beast's chakra - he spread it through the air and the ground, through the fire of Amaterasu and the blood of those he killed. Inside Sakura. In himself.

In the Ningyo.

Tailed Beast chakra is inherently attuned to negative human emotion. It passes judgement, almost like a sentient being, and cleanses. But it could not, not with the Seal in place... so instead, it destroyed everything _inside._

Those phantoms are no less than the work of the chakra, held together by the Seal. The Seal that was intended to put an end to everything human in him - yet, at heart, he couldn't finish the job. So Sakura lived, but she was tainted, just like him.

And all this time, it grew stronger. The strange blank-outs, the awakening of mythical beasts from times long past - when he lost control in the battlefield, the Beasts escaped. The idea that they would _run_ from him is somehow amusing. No, what sends a chill throughout him is the fact that, behind his back (probably while he slept), the clone looked for sources of coalescing chakra.

It was necessary to command beasts mighty enough to face Tailed Beasts - but she did it. She stole their chakra by ripping it out of them, tearing them down one by one over the years. They should all be dead now, the Ten-Tails forever unattainable to humankind, _just like he wanted_. And she just grew stronger and stronger...

The clone had told him - she was all he rejected. All the _wrong_ and dark bits of his soul. She didn't lie. Like a dark reflection of him, she is neither human nor a Beast.

She has no soul, merely reflecting his own impulses, emotions and thoughts. The desires to crush everything and protect it, the wishes to both kill and save Sakura, the perpetual battle of his mind: whether to hold onto what once was, or step ahead into a new, dark world.

She is unstable, because he is as well. She is a monster… because that's what he became.

_Stop…_

* * *

Sakura doesn't blink or react when she hears it, but she almost does. It seems to stop her heart for half a second, and then she resumes her charge as if nothing had happened. Sasuke's eyes widen minutely. Is he surprised that she didn't take the bait?

"I'm never listening to you again!" she roars, her punch nearly landing on him in his small moment of overconfidence. He must have thought she would stop if he just whispered it. "I'm not your dog, Sasuke! I'm done following you!"

She doesn't want to speak to him. She wants to detach herself from the man she once loved ( _that she still loves, she knows… but she can't afford to. Not when he can't be trusted_ ). She wants to finish the job, like a good shinobi - and maybe, once the world is safe again, she will allow herself to feel again.

She let herself be led by emotions for too long. Now… now, she can't. Because if she does, she will crumble, and he will kill her.

"Oh, sweetheart!" he mocks, bringing a hand to his heart. Hasn't the act gone for long enough? Does he need to draw it out like this? He dodges her strike half-heartedly - he hasn't bothered to use his strongest jutsu, and she can tell that he is clearly exhausted. "You wound me!"

Why is he choosing to do this now, when have both been on the brink of death? She kept them both reasonably healthy during their battle against Toneri, but chakra depletion is something she couldn't do much about.

Does he think he can win anyway? She hopes that it's not the reason… that this isn't what it looks like, so they won't have to fight to the death. Because if he believes that - she believes him. Her body is barely responsive, the Yin Seal wasting its energy away as she struggles to keep herself in one piece.

And she hates that there is still _hope_ in her heart.

"I _hate_ you!" she rages, her chakra-laden fist coming inches away from the face of Hashirama. Under the great pressure that it exudes, the stone sizzles and cracks, exploding after half a second. Sasuke's steps have taken him away, to the other statue, a grin on his face at the sight of her frustration.

It takes her the rest of the second to use the chakra to propel herself towards him at nearly supersonic speeds. Taijutsu… a fight in which he seems content in letting her dodge, merely exploiting the openings in her style to punish her. Never deadly.

It's a beatdown. The thought crosses her mind in a flash, but it's enough to send a chill down her spine. He is going to break her piece by piece - he could kill her if he wanted to, but he hasn't. Not yet… not until she is exhausted and defenseless. The Yin Seal will run out, the natural chakra will become too potent to handle… and she will fall, even if she fights until the end.

He is exploiting every single one of her emotions - even the anger that she feels towards him.

Sasuke is showing her that, as long as she cares about him at all, he will always have the upper hand. Because he doesn't. Maybe he did before, but not now. He has a goal - and like a good shinobi, he will achieve it.

She has to play on the same level if she wants to have a chance.

* * *

He sees it when the emotions in her eyes become stormy, convoluted; he senses the doppelgänger's roar of triumph, even if the monster doesn't voice it out loud.

_Right into a trap, little mouse!_

No! Sakura, don't let go! Don't let go or you'll be doomed!

_When she attacks like she means it, when she truly intends to destroy you… then, I will KILL her! I WILL RIP HER SOUL TO SHREDS AND LEAVE NOTHING BEHIND!_

* * *

Compartmentalisation is something they learned in the Academy… but that she rarely put to use. She became a ninja for emotional reasons, after all - and even after she gained other goals to push for, they were still based on her heart's demands.

Proper shinobi sacrificed their heart for the greater good.

She was a pathetic excuse, pretending to know why she was shooting for the stars. It wasn't until Tsunade-shishou gave her a _meaning_ that she started to see past Sasuke - past her own team. But she could never truly escape, convinced that it was the right thing to do.

_I'm so sorry, Naruto. I can't._

In the infinitely small gaps between their steps, she pictures writing down her emotions on a blank paper. She folds it, tucks it inside a box and then turns away, leaving it at the foot of a tree in her mindscape.

She takes a deep breath - the moon is nearing the horizon, falling closer towards the edge of the world. A chilly winter breeze rustles her clothes, and her nose picks up the scent of the forest around her.

 _I'm sorry, Sasuke. I have to_.

She exhales her last breath as a human - and the light in her eyes dies down, as a shinobi rises.

* * *

_NOW, WE ARE EQUAL! TWO SHINOBI, FIGHTING FOR THEIR OBJECTIVE WITH THE COLD PRECISION OF MACHINES - OF TOOLS!_

Sasuke wants to cover his ears and leave this wretched place in time and space. He wants the fight to be over, he wishes like a desperate child to be anywhere but here. He hasn't felt this uncontrolled panic, this overwhelming pain, since the day Itachi died… and the day he killed them all.

The monster - no, his reflection, mirrors the tick-tock of a clock, impending horror that he can't escape.

It's when he sees Sakura's eyes drain of her loving spirit, leaving only the glassy irises that could belong to a dead fish, that his heartstrings are irrevocably tugged.

She's gone, she's dead- no, she's not dead, but she will be ( _by his hand…_ ) if he doesn't do anything. This world… this world, he didn't forsake because Itachi wanted to protect it. _For Itachi_ , in a clumsy duckling's attempt at following its mother's steps, he did all the things that lead him here.

It is not a dream that belongs to him, even if it was passed down when Itachi died.

Sakura, however… she is part of the _other_ dream - the one that couldn't co-exist with his quests for revenge, and then the ones for power. She is all that remains of a child's dreams of a better future. But he cares about her, not because she is the last - but because she was part of them (these broken hopes for a better tomorrow).

A treasure he cherished, a bond he couldn't sever.

And now, he sees that light fade from her eyes, the last remain of the last thing he cared about.

It hurts, like it hurt to see Naruto's final expression, the life leaving Kakashi's eyes.

_Sakura…!_

* * *

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" he suddenly screams, his voice distorting. Sakura stops in her tracks, dodging a vicious strike from him. The marks of the Ningyo are drawn on the large amount of bare skin that his torn clothing reveals, and she feels her throat constrict, her own Seal reacting violently and nearly throwing her in harm's way.

He hadn't attacked until now… but she didn't speak. His speed is as good as hers, even accounting for the boost that her chakra provides. He flashes in and out of sight, just barely fast enough to slip under her defenses in a crucial moment.

At least three of her ribs shatter under the impact, and she is thrown backwards at breakneck speeds. She manages to flip in time to land on her feet, a snarl on her face and blood dripping from her lips. Her head is spinning, the two seals pulsing over each other - the Ningyo's lines thick and dark despite the fact that it should be weakened.

Like a parasite, it seems that it won't give up until she is dead.

Her mind goes through the motions, but her heart has been tucked away in a faraway corner of her thoughts. Somewhere it can't hurt and bleed for the man she has to kill. He starts retaliating with increasingly aggressive strikes, that clip her on the shoulder and thigh in the span of ten seconds.

He's too fast, and if she doesn't put an end to this quickly, they will both perish. It seems like he is at the end of his reserves, her own chakra draining away, quicker every second. Soon, she won't be able to move at all - her limbs are numb already.

Tsunade-shishou taught her that the best battles are those that don't start - but if they have to, then she should make them as brief as possible. As a medic, her objective is to keep everyone alive and well. To end everything in a single strike, like her teacher taught her to.

And she has enough brainpower to force him to endure that. He might be a prodigy, but she is shy of genius in some aspects - she only needs one punch.

He can predict every single one of her movements with those eyes, even though now they are clouded by dark fog again. She knows, because his motions indicate it. Either that, or he's insanely good at countering. She isn't going to take any chances.

The Sharingan might be able to foresee, but it does not grant the ability to respond in kind, or process the information fast enough. She just has to play _smarter_ while putting everything she has in a single strike. She knows that, in a different time, she would have found it funny.

She shows no smirk of triumph when she spots the slight opening. He can't read her thoughts, can he?

There is only one way for her to manage to do this. There is only one thing that would leave him unguarded enough - with the way he is attacking, there is a minimal window for it.

His fists are covered in the crackling energy of a malformed Chidori - deadly. Their chakra-accelerated speed ensures that their hit will be fatal if they reach a vital spot.

So she pretends to charge ahead, for a clearly obvious strike aimed at his lungs. She pretends to mispredict where he will strike, falling into the path of his attack. She pretends that it doesn't hurt and she hasn't just signed her death sentence, instead watching with satisfaction as her fist sinks into his chest.

There is a flash of surprise in his eyes, his fist still buried firmly on her shoulder - right out of deadly range. Somehow, _somehow_ , he missed.

They stare into each other's eyes, under the uncaring light of a new dawn, and Sasuke's lips start to dribble blood. The Ningyo seizes up, and Sakura can't move an inch. It starts to crush her body, until she is sure that some bones break, until she can't breathe…

Then, the last of her energies drains away and she falls to the ground, dragging Sasuke down. In a mockery of an embrace, tantalisingly close to the kiss she so much wished for, to the intimacy she longed for, they lay.

He isn't dead, not yet - but soon. His breathing is wet and ragged, his eyes unfocused yet settled on hers. _He missed_. She can only repeat that in her mind, over and over and over, because if she focuses on how he is dying she will break down. She might still make it in time… might still be able to live to see another day.

He closes his eyes, his body trembling. When he opens them again, they seem different - devoid of their hypnotic colors, they make him look less like a godly apparition and more like a mere mortal.

She extricates herself from the humming embrace of his chest, pulling out his hand from her shoulder. That arm is completely useless, and she can't feel her shoulder at all, as it has been torn to charred shreds, but it doesn't matter. She was ready to give her life for this. It's a worthy price to pay.

Only when her arms are safely tucked against her chest, does her breathing start to become uneven. Only when she can pull herself away from him, does she finally manage to _look_ at him and bite her lips and choke on the words she wants to say.

Only then, when she is certain that it is all over, does she allow herself to regain her heart.

His eyes are cold, but in them there is a glimmer of… an emotion she can't discern. Sad. The Ningyo tells her that it is sadness.

"Why… why did you have to do this?" she hiccups. "I never wanted to fight you… I just wanted… for us to be happy. Together." She can't help those tears, because that is who she is and will always be, by pure choice, at her very core. She can't help to stay with him, even though she should be trying to reach Konoha just so _she_ will survive.

She can't leave him, not now that her mission has been accomplished and she can allow herself to feel every bit of what she has done.

"I…" His two first attempts at speech come out garbled by the blood in his throat, but he finally gathers and spits it out, adding to the growing pool under his body. "Sorry. I never… wanted to go this far."

He chose the only path available… even though now, he has seen that there was another option. One that wouldn't have ended in insanity and bloodshed. Sasuke Uchiha _does not_ apologise often - because he rarely feels the need to backtrack after he has taken a course of action.

A string of wet coughs covers whatever words he had planned to speak next, and he closes his eyes. There is a dull ache in his mind - the doppelgänger went quiet after screaming its throat out. The Seal is weakening, and the creature's hold on him is too faint to control him anymore.

Now, he is free. But he knows that there is no escaping his fate. Perhaps that's what the monster wanted - he won't ever know.

He hates feeling helpless, even if it's because he is at the gates of death. There has to be something he can do - something to make her understand. He doesn't hope to be saved. This is now in her hands. She won fair and square.

Shutting his eyelids, he gathers whatever chakra is left in him. Sakura makes the mistake of looking into his eyes, but by the time she realises her error, it's too late.

* * *

The cold-faced kunoichi that greets Sasuke, in the ash meadow, couldn't be further away from the one that she hides behind the mask. Now that there are no plans for the world's salvation, no possibility of his own survival, he feels a twinge in his heart. This place, inside her mind, is all that exists of his world.

When the jutsu runs out, he'll be gone.

He isn't surprised when the chains shoot out of the dusty ground, snake-like in their animated life, wrapping around his limbs and immobilising him. They hold him upright, like a prize, but nothing else happens. She merely stares at him, believing that the battle is not over and she shouldn't have let herself be emotional just yet.

"You deserve to know the truth," he whispers, finally capable of talking properly. His voice, however, is weak. His presence in her mind is nothing but a shadow. He hopes that… maybe, just maybe, she will understand, and her icy expression will thaw. "I… did what I thought was best. I'm not a hero, I'm a shinobi. We don't have to like what we do, but we have to."

"You are a monster," she bluntly replies, and he can sense the anger and pain behind her words. How much it costs her to say them. "The world is in chaos and ruins because of _you_. There is no excusing that."

He nods at her statement, slightly dipping his head. It's the truth. He thought he could do it, but he was so horribly wrong. Corrupted, he became the very thing he had been trying to save the world from - a monster, indeed.

"I know. There will be no salvation for me. But you will live - and you will want to understand _why_. I know you've been asking all this time, Sakura. I did, too."

He sees the retort she bites back. The _no, I don't care anymore_. She is too easy to read.

"Tell me, why? You never gave up. I don't understand." His voice cracks ever so slightly, such an unsightly thing for him, but this is the one thing that has defined his life: sacrifice. "Naruto, Itachi - you."

Her jaw comes slightly unhinged at that, but she shuts her mouth in under two seconds, her eyes narrowing.

"Because we believed in a better world. We believed you could be saved. And we were wrong." Her words come out, flat facts that have no emotion behind them, but all the certainty. "We were in love. Different kinds, but it amounted to the same."

_I don't understand…_

"You believed in something that wasn't worth saving."

_This world and I were always doomed to fall into darkness. You were fighting against fate._

"It doesn't matter." And there is a tiny flicker of fierce determination in her gaze. "Someone taught me that it doesn't matter how impossible your dreams seem, you should fight for them."

_So that's why… she never gave up. Even now, she wishes with all her heart… to achieve impossible._

But she _did_ give up on fighting, even if she still hopes. She tried to kill him, after all. She accepted that she couldn't do it, she couldn't change him no matter how much she tried. At least, this time, she didn't throw the towel outright. Perhaps because she was the only one left, but she took the responsibility by herself.

There is a distant feeling of pride for her, but it doesn't matter now.

"When I took control of the Tailed Beasts, their chakra tainted me," he mutters. "Their inherent hatred and fury clouded my mind. I had fully intended to fight Naruto to the death, start a revolution and take my place in the darkness… but I lost control of myself."

There is understanding, a glimmer of recognition in her eyes, and he knows that she is knitting her thoughts at high speed to put together a coherent theory.

"I never wanted to kill Naruto like I did. I never intended to massacre the Alliance, or ruin Konoha. I never wanted to do what I did to you." He can't stop himself now, the words slurred by his speed at which they flow from his lips. All the emotions that were pooled inside him until now, all the thoughts he never gave time or voice to. "I'm sorry," he says again, because it feels like she won't be able how much it costs him to say - and how much it means.

A knot around his soul loosens ever so slightly, the doppelgänger's accumulated fury dissolving as he spills out his sins.

"Having a reason is not the same as having an excuse…" she mutters, but her eyes are slightly watery.

He shakes his head, and shows her. The very instant that he followed the wicked impulse, the one that changed it all. The voices screaming in his head, the darkness looming over him like a bad omen. And he didn't even try to resist. He did just as he had always wanted to - he did _anything_ for the power he seeked.

He became a prisoner in his own body. He watched his dreams be shattered by his darkest side, twisted and broken until they were meaningless. And yet, he didn't realise - he didn't notice, not until it was too late. He didn't understand how wrong it was, everything that he had done and was doing, until he saw that it was bringing nothing but destruction.

His vision blurs out, exhaustion taking over as the scenes of the nightmare replay for them both.

He almost killed Sakura. If not for a split second moment of weakness in the doppelgänger, an infinitesimal amount of hesitation, she would have died by his hand.

"You… you missed on purpose," she chokes out. "You _wanted_ me to kill you!"

And then she understands what their recent conversation truly meant - that he conceded. That she is better in ways that he was never even good at. Victory is hers, and she should live, because he can't kill her.

"You became what I strived to be… a shinobi, for the good of the world. But you're better than I would ever be." And there is no bitterness in admitting it, not now that it doesn't matter and his life is over. "You…"

He trails off, because words and expression were never his fortes. Because the emotions are choking up on his throat and he doesn't think he can put them into speech any longer.

There are no words for what he feels for her, and trying to shove it in syllables would only diminish its meaning. He hopes that she understands.

The cold chill that had started to envelop his body begins to vanish, and there is a soft thrumming deep within him. A stronger heartbeat, where it used to be faint. Like a warm blanket wrapped around him, shielding him from the pain.

"What are you doing?"

Sakura doesn't look at him, her eyes teary yet not at the point of crying. She is holding it back, although the expression on her face is anguished.

"We are dying because we tore apart a piece of each other's soul, and then weakened the Seal that kept us alive," she explains, softly. "The only way for one of us to live, is to put together what has been taken."

A breeze stirs the ashen ground around them, shaping a whirlwind around their still bodies. He knows this sensation. He has seen this before. There is no sound.

"I… became a monster, too." Her voice is almost inaudible, but the words are clear as day. "If I kill you, I will be no better than you."

"You can't do this!" _I can't do this!_

She doesn't listen to his pleas, a soft smile caressing her features.

"You can, because you know what it's like to be lost in the dark. Even if it was in the last second… you found your way. You have to live."

There are her unspoken words, _I can't let you die_. Not when she knows the truth. He should never have told her. Even if the doppelgänger is dissolving alongside the Seal, he is not the one that should survive. He doesn't deserve it, is not worthy of this mission.

She is, but she won't listen.

* * *

The sun is rising by the time his eyes are open again. Sakura feels her emotions and thoughts become numb, distant. A serene _nothingness_ enveloping her senses, as if she was falling asleep.

She learned one way to counter Sharingan genjutsu, possible only because of her overly abundant Yin chakra. He is still trapped in her mindscape, too weak to be really conscious, but she broke free a while ago.

Underneath his motivations - and underneath the monster, she found the Sasuke she and Naruto had been looking for. The one she grew to admire, care for, love. She isn't about to let him go. And she almost… she almost gave up. She almost killed her heart for it. She almost took the steps that brought him into the darkness.

A rational part of her mind wants to say it's a stupid idea, but she shoves it aside.

It's not the same as blindly chasing after him. She did what she had to, because she thought he had truly lost himself. Now that she knows that he is still down there, trapped… she can't abandon him. A small smile finds its way to her lips, the real ones, when she remembers Kakashi's words.

She wonders if, wherever they are, they are proud of her. She won't ever know.

Her soul has been shattered. As soon as her body is out of commission, it will dissipate as if it had never existed. Whatever place awaits those that die is out of her reach now. Katsuyu told her. She knew this was the risk of tearing down the Ningyo. There is only one thing she can do now.

She lies down next to him, hoping it will take him long enough to wake up, so she will be done by the time he tries to stop her. Because he will if he has the chance to, she knows.

Luck isn't on her side - his eyes snap open shortly afterward, zeroing on hers immediately. There is something that would be anger in them, if he wasn't so utterly exhausted. Something that would be pain, if he was capable of expressing such a thing to her.

"I just want to ask you one thing…" she mutters, her tongue and lips clumsy over the necessary movements. "Stay with me."

She holds a hand to his bare, bloody stomach; another, entwined with his. He looks at it almost as if it were something alien to him, and then back at her. There is too much in those dark eyes, too much in hers. The silence that envelops them is full of the understanding that they seeked for so long, of unspoken emotions and unsung memories.

He makes a sound that is suspiciously similar to a groan, and then pushes himself up into a sitting position, without letting go. His free arm carefully closes around her midsection, and hoists her up, closer to him.

He could say a million things to justify the closeness. That it'll help her do her thing - because he knows he can't stop her. He will barely be good enough to walk back home, the majority of his strength spent on the final semi-Tsukuyomi that brought him inside her mind. That it'll give him security in case she does anything tricky.

He just knows that she is going to be _gone_ very soon - and he wants her to be right there. He wants to be there with her (for all those he murdered in cold blood and abandoned, for the time he did the same to Sakura). He wants to spend the last moments she has trying to communicate the last thing he didn't tell her, the one he will never be able to say.

"You're annoying," he sighs, her bottom on his lap and her legs spread over his. He lets her body rest against his, touching closely. Her heartbeat gets weaker, his stronger. The humming energy inside her belly drifts to his, her breathing becoming softer and slower. Her chin rests on his shoulder, head and body weight slumped against his.

It's awkward for him. He likes his space and freedom of movement. Yet he holds her, just this one time, so she won't be alone. So he won't be, either.

She giggles very quietly, her arms by her sides and his around her body.

"I love you," she mumbles, barely audible.  _I'm here..._

 _I forgive you. I believe in you_.

"Live… and make it a good life."  _With you._

_Make this world a better place._

He closes his eyes, craning his head back and burying his face on her hair, which is matted with blood. The world will not be as merciful as she was… it won't hold him in the same regard as Itachi and Naruto did.

There are many mistakes to amend, many things to rebuild. Countless sins to atone for. Sakura didn't leave him alive without knowing that - she gave him a chance to achieve the redemption that he thought beyond his reach. She sacrificed all she had because she still believes in him - as a person, not a shinobi.

Even after everything he did, after he himself gave up on the one Sasuke Uchiha - Sakura Haruno still hasn't. She could have left him to pay for his crimes in death, knowing that there was still a shred of humanity below the insanity. But she didn't.

And soon she will be gone and he will have to be strong again, but now? Now… he lets himself feel every bit of regret, of gratitude, of joy and pain. The knot in his throat loosens slightly, and he is sure that beyond his sight, she is crying, just as he is.

"I promise, I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have many words for you, folks. There has been character development, and I've preserved the spirit of the characters to the best of my ability. There has been clarity and confusion, and a fuckload of disturbing emotions from start to end. To those who got here? I hope you enjoyed the ride, and a million thanks for your support throughout the year.
> 
> You were the reason I never even considered giving up. I've never finished a story this long. So you have my utmost gratitude for all of your wordy appreciation.
> 
> For those who are still confused? The hell does all of this mean?:
> 
> Doppelganger!Sasuke took them to the Valley of the End. It spoke and baited Sakura to fight, and kept Sasuke restrained in his own mind. It's the reason Isobu nearly died, and Sasuke lost control of himself and gave in to his worst desires. The reason Sakura burned through the Seal is because it was, in essence, created by natural chakra - by boosting herself with it, she slowly tore it down.
> 
> This is the end. Sasuke and Sakura went their full journey: she took Sasuke's role, he took Itachi's. And this culminated in Sakura giving up her own humanity to kill him - while he found his own, understood his feelings (finally separated from the doppelganger) and tried to save her. It was enough to break through in the last second, but not to save them both. All this time? I set her up to be his counterpart, character foil - but in the end, they changed roles. They became each other.
> 
> And this is why Sakura saved him: she saw underneath the underneath, and understood him. She saw what they had become, and decided she wouldn't give up. She understood the positions they had, and that there was still hope for him. Instead of giving up on him, she gave him the chance to live and become someone better. Sasuke never knew how to express his emotions to her, but he stayed.
> 
> In essence? Yes. This is a story of sacrifice and hope, despair and insanity. Humanity, in all its virtues and flaws. Ultimately, for all of you who wondered and asked: yes, it's a story about love.
> 
> Cheerps!


	43. Epilogue: Rebirth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I don't want to spoil the ending of this with any of my attempts at wittiness or comments about what things mean. Make of it what you will. I wrote everything I wanted to in my past note - now it's time for what you want to write to me. I'm here to tell you that reviews are still welcome, even if all you want to do is ask questions. The story is over after this, so unless it compromises an open meaning, I can tell you anything you want to know (yes, this is the Q &A).
> 
> This chapter is here to offer you closure - and because our other main character's arc wasn't done just yet. In order for you to understand proper: names are a very important thing.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the read - thanks for taking this journey with me. I'd be glad to hear what you have to tell me in the reviews!
> 
> Cheerps!

_And the cycle comes a full round._

There is only muted horror in the faces of Konoha's last citizens and shinobi. Days of impatient, nerve-wracking wait, end with a ragged figure dragging itself through the gates. Silence follows him like a spell, and so do the stares. Sasuke pays them no heed, his mind incomprehensible even to himself.

Like always, he is chasing after a goal. It matters not if he is defying death itself to reach it - he _will_ get there. He promised he would.

His chakra, which still has a foreign feel to it, spreads not only through his body - but hers as well. He won't let decay stop Her from coming back _home_ where She belongs. He never did this for the other people that mattered most to him. It's only the first step in his path of atonement.

He manages to get her to the memorial stone, and then collapses next to Her in a heap. He doesn't believe in gods to pray to - if they are there, he wants to kill them. And right now, he wants to keep all thoughts of murder away from his mind.

He promised.

She looks like she fell asleep, though her body is in a pitiful state. Broken skin and flesh, after the Ningyo evaporated. Bones jutting out of the wrong places, because of him. The chakra ate away and corroded her very muscles - it feels like, if he touches Her wrong, She will melt in his hands.

And yet, somehow, her expression is peaceful. There is a smile on her face. He wonders if it's because of his last actions and words towards Her, or because of her victory. In the end, She won - She achieved what She wanted to, against all odds. It's undeniable. The price She paid in order to trump fate, however, was too high.

For a few agonizing hours, he battles with his own thoughts and emotions. He doesn't know what to do, or where to go. There is only heart-wrenching pain that he can barely control. Later, he can't remember what happens in that time - it's all a blur. He can't tell if he's crying or it's just blood from his abused eyes, but he imprints her image into his mind either way.

It is well past dusk, when he finally manages to get a hold of himself - his knees protest when he gets up, his eyes still stuck on the girl's final expression. There is a world awaiting him, one that has been plunged into chaos and can barely remember what it's like to see the light. One that he will have to fight against. He has to be strong. He starts to arrange goals, achievements - and after those, he puts limits. Lines he will never cross.

 _He promised Her_.

* * *

The senbon pinned to his desk seems to taunt him. It speaks of one last act of defiance against a world that determined that Sasuke Uchiha belongs in the dark. The pair of ninja sitting on the other side of his desk seem to be somewhere between despair, shock and disbelief.

_She's dead._

She refused to take it. She was given a weapon designed specifically to kill him, and rejected it. That means that, before She started to chase after him, She still believed in his redemption. It must have been when the doppelgänger took over - he can't remember much, except becoming aware of his surroundings just before the fight began.

Something twists in his chest, but he pushes the emotion aside.

"Technically, you're traitors of Konoha," he opts to say, sensing the fear that hides under Tenten's near-perfect mask. Lee's brow is furrowed, and he stares ahead, ready for anything. "I should execute you. But I won't, because there is a message you need to deliver for me."

Tenten stiffens, her back straightening in an instant. If Sasuke were a man to express amusement openly, he would certainly delight himself in the pair's obvious confusion.

"Konoha will lend its aid to Takigakure in the upcoming war. Iwagakure is preparing for a large-scale invasion." Shinobi don't give information freely. "As a token of trust, you may take Soma, my apprentice and Hokage heir, with you." Shinobi don't give weapons without a price.

"W-what?!" the brunette splutters, dumbfounded. The fear in her eyes turns to panic, her mind racing through a thousand potential hidden meanings in his words. There are none. It's the truth. But obviously, that doesn't match her vision of him slightest - no good shinobi wants to feel this way. It's deadly, more often than not.

Sasuke decides that nothing else needs to be said, and merely waits. The poisoned senbon that she tried to kill him with rests on the wooden desk between them, and he merely wonders how much longer the road to redemption will be.

* * *

Reputation is a strange thing.

The world fears Sasuke Uchiha when he walks, alone, to the frontline of the battlefield. They don't know if he is here to aid either side, or to annihilate them both. Iwagakure has had time to lick its wounds and come back roaring, but even they can sense that this one man could turn the tides in whatever direction he chooses to.

Power, Sasuke decides, is a good thing to have.

Shibuki takes firm, decisive steps towards his lone figure. The leader of Takigakure isn't escorted by anyone, his gaze fixed on Sasuke and his expression serene. He has become a respectably determined man - he has to be, if he has been rebelling against Konoha and has any idea of what he's up against.

"You came, Hokage-dono," he observes, his bow as small as it could be, while remaining respectful. The tension in his whole body doesn't go unnoticed.

Iwagakure decided that attacking Konoha straight away was a silly thing, with a great enemy to fight and little to gain - as Sasuke predicted, they instead tried to take over the last functioning villages. With the Kazekage under his wing, and the alliance with Otogakure, their best target was Taki. They had been hoping that the lethargic beast residing in Konoha wouldn't wake up.

They were sorely mistaken.

"This world can't afford the loss of so much human life, not now that it's becoming dangerous," he responds, nodding minutely.

Shibuki turns his gaze away, to his forces - hopelessly outmatched by Iwagakure's. Takigakure is just a bunch of refugees and misfits; Iwa has been preparing to go to war for a long time. It's going to be a massacre, but there is no other alternative.

"I read your letter, Hokage-dono," the man replies tersely. He seems to prepare himself for something really difficult to do, and finally sighs out his response. "We will ally with you, if you aid us in this battle."

_Anything, for the sake of preventing a war._

Just, maybe, not the way he had initially planned it.

* * *

He forsakes sleep in favor of his quests. Nightmares chase him whenever tiredness claims him, and he spends his waking times busy, hounding after the true dreams he seeks to achieve, the goals he has to complete.

Sasuke Uchiha never, ever truly rests, never stops, never gives himself a moment to breathe and feel free of the weights on his shoulders. It is part of his atonement, part of the price he wants to pay for being alive when he shouldn't be, for being the one standing after becoming a monster like he did.

He is assaulted at any hour of the day by assassins, most of them following a quest of revenge. He lets them, of course - he learned from Itachi that, with enough time and the right genjutsu, it's possible to change anyone's mind. It worked for Kabuto - and even Orochimaru.

He recognises the medic-nin from Yugakure, the one that he nearly killed in his quest to find Sakura. He doesn't say anything, but after all is said and done, the man seems defeated. It's only when the two brothers from the same village find him, that a spark of life finds his eyes.

Sasuke doesn't ask, but he watches as these friends finally reunite once more. It's no surprise that the Kiri-nin requests the ability to take care of them from then on, and he knows that, finally, he can sleep in better peace.

Sasuke doesn't share the same luck. He has too much to atone for.

* * *

He lost his faith in humanity a long time ago, it's true - starting with his village, the world, and then himself. However, the sacrifice She made changed something. She was fighting for something greater than her own gain, even her own dreams. Yet She never renounced to the true nature of human heart.

Perhaps it woke him up from his empty ponderation, but after her death, something changed.

If he didn't have dignity, he would compare it to a child desperately looking around, hoping to get candy. Hoping to find reassurance in what feels like a distant dream. When he walks into Takigakure, the village that he literally just saved, he expects to need to defend himself from a hail of kunai.

Instead, there is expectant, unsure silence. The civilians who have only heard the shinobi's tales from him seem to be slightly conflicted. He just saved them all - by virtue of systematically defeating the best of Iwagakure's forces, without even needing to use deadly force. The rest didn't take long to surrender.

Some of the shinobi that weren't involved in the massacre seem wary, but accepting. Alliances and truces, whether they're temporary or not, are a common thing in their world. The others are either enraged, terrified or lost in their memories.

It takes a few days for him to see it (and for them to start to get used to his presence, even if they can't figure out where exactly he is), and his heartrate jolts. It's only the first of many, and with each one there is a growing pain somewhere deep within him.

In their seemingly hopeless misery, these people have managed to become a tight-knit community. Distrust and power-hunger _should_ have destroyed it, yet against all odds, here they are. It's not perfect, not by a long shot, but they get through each day with doses of kindness that he hasn't seen anywhere else.

He learns that it's because, otherwise, they would have succumbed. The hardships that threw them into this place didn't end there - people from different nations, upbringings and even cultures, had to figure out how to get through each day ( _together_ ) without falling into savagery. Shibuki is in charge of the village, after overthrowing Konoha's own forces, and yet it's not just him giving everything to this ideal of civilization.

They all are. There's criminals and greed, just like always before, but something is different. They have something in common that they hadn't realised before: they're all stuck in the same situation, and no amount of achievable individual power is going to get them out of it. They are all fighting for the dream of something better, and he knows that in protecting them, so is he.

Perhaps, just a little bit, he starts to believe in _people_ again.

* * *

It takes an entire year for Takigakure to start sending refugees to Konoha. Though Sasuke has done nothing but maintain peace, distrust is something that takes a long time to be repaired. He could force them to comply, of course, but that's exactly what he is trying to avoid doing.

There is only one other person waiting by the gates with him - Soma, his apprentice. After releasing the hostages, he was the only one who chose to stay. Tenten refused to take a potenial time-bomb to Taki. He was clearly bitter, and definitely did not remain out of appreciation for the grueling trials Sasuke put him through. Sasuke understood that it was because he had lost everything else.

Orochimaru made the same deal with him. He can understand.

Today, he is proven wrong in this assumption; vague memories of the child having an older brother pass through his mind, but it's the screams of joy that drill the message into his mind. Both of the young teenagers break into a run and into each other's arms, after their long separation and countless doubts about each other's well-being.

The message says that this is the world he should fight for, and why he should never have become the monster he evolved into.

The boys hold each other and cry, as the slow procession of refugees waits by the gates. A few Konoha genin start to take note of the documentation and identification of each of them. He recognises Kurenai and Konohamaru, the latter of which gives him a glare. Tenten and Lee are back, as well as an emaciated contingent of survivors from the massacre.

They give a bleak vibe, one that speaks of many loses and just a little room for hope - but here they are. None of them pay any real attention to him, except the wary glances and similarly fearful messages of body language.

He hadn't expected anything better.

* * *

Atonement comes in many shapes and forms. Offering and taking deals that foster trust and that should help with pushing the nations' economy back into shape; patience with people that he would really have liked to beat up in the past.

He does not understand well the language of kindness, but he attempts to make a better world in any way he can.

His team is gone, but they are still the guideline of courage and dedication that he chases after. She _was_ much better than he, when he was stuck in her situation. Naruto started out in the dust and went far enough to reach the stars. Kakashi never let grief destroy his moral compass, instead using the memories of his loss as an anchoring point.

Itachi sacrificed so much for what he believed was right, but he could never truly kill his own heart. The fact that Sasuke is alive is a testament to that.

He has _them_ to fall back onto when he can't go any further. That way, he never gives up.

It starts with hunches on what should he do; things he wouldn't think of too much. The dreams start to become more and more persistent: an ashen meadow, slowly blooming back into life. He supposes it's his conscience, now free from the shinobi duties he subjected it to, trying to tell him that there is one thing he can never truly atone for.

But he can make it better. He can rebuild from the ashes, and make something _more_.

He keeps thinking about Her; what would She do, how would She do it, what would She feel. The things She would want, if She still lived. It's a moral compass that he holds onto when the logical response seems to veer towards violence or despair. Not to say there are no fights, but he is taking a different approach to everything now.

What he hopes She would have _wanted_ \- because She gave him her life, and he will honor her last _sacrifice_.

* * *

It is with odd surprise that he starts dreaming about rats and crows.

His investigation is coming up with trails colder than ice, older than half the civilizations in the world. Long ago, in a time of mythical beasts and endless wars, sentient rats were the harbingers of good fortune. And he knows that they are damn good at senjutsu-genjutsu - enough to fool a fully matured Sharingan and his special Rinnegan.

He also knows that, at some point, the doppelgänger tried to annihilate them all. After his failure to take Her, his resentment grew beyond his expectations - the clone was never anything but a vessel. Spurred by a combination of Tailed Beast chakra and his own twisted emotions. Its voice grew so much stronger, beyond what he could ignore… and that was the point at which insanity dug its heels deep.

They aided Her - they became his enemies, and had to be destroyed. He must have succeeded, because when he finally reaches their Nest again, it is empty. However, he can feel the soft, throbbing source of a familiar energy in the depths of the cave system. He follows it, half-expecting illusions to jump at him at any second, yet nothing happens.

Are they allowing him to pass, or is it because the Ningyo is gone?

He reaches a large, watery cavern - a place described only in an old tale. It's empty of any visible life. His steps take him to the statue that lies in the middle, which is a mere deception. Under the stone, the chakra of the rats' energy vessel is slowly rebuilding, reforming.

It is on impulse that he reaches out and touches the moist, warm surface. His fingers trace the shapes of thousands of tails, and the more he does, the less he realises that he has been repeating the same motion for well over half an hour.

His ears perk up at a sound that he believes imagined - a distant bell. Something brushes against his knuckles, and he only catches the phantom image of a dark feather through the corner of his eye. He represses the urge to jump away from the statue, instead pulling his hand away and taking a step back.

The tips of the rats' tails start to light up, and the feathers that he can barely see start to brush against him, as if carried by a gentle wind.

He knows this feeling. The Ningyo transferred part of her most intimate memories and experiences to him - and, as the bells start to form a chorus, he recognises the two genjutsu that protected her mind from complete insanity.

He is almost unsurprised when the cave suddenly lights up with long tongues of fire, spewed by ancient salamanders that had merely been biding their time. They don't harm him - instead, the tongues of flame start to take shapes he recognises well. Large, elongated bodies start to crawl over the wall and ceiling, causing a great rumble.

The information that his kekkei genkai feed him becomes blurred once more, and he merely awaits for the moment that must be coming. When the fires die down, he finds himself in a burnt down meadow.

The myths he read about said that the sapient animals he is dealing with used to ally - putting together their heavenly powers, they could achieve missions that, alone, they would never have managed.

Rats and crows were always particularly entangled: good luck and wealth for the messengers of Heaven. The two, creatures that hide in the shadows and illusions, cunning beyond human comprehension. And both of them came together to aid Her. Through Itachi's chakra, through her own mission right into their Nest, She became part of something much greater than She ever knew.

The rodents and the birds are always bickering, though their enmity is akin to a rivalry between best friends. Itachi's uncanny affinity for crows affected Her, and that must have called their attention. It must have made them want to help Her.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be seeing her perfectly preserved image, in the battered remains of her mindscape. She blinks once, twice, and then looks around in confusion. He only now realises that the little voice in the back of his mind always sounded like hers.

Her eyes finally find his, and for once he can't read the emotions rushing through her expression. She freezes, overwhelmed. He had never expected to see her again, and the suddenness of the situation ensnares him too. For an illusion, it's incredibly realistic.

"It's not fake, ah," comments a vaguely familiar voice. The mere tone of it already raises annoyance in his mind, but he chooses not to show it. "Even her true name has been lost to the world, alongside her spirit - but a part of her still lives in you, ah."

There is a small rat standing by his side. _Maru_ , he remembers. Her teacher and protector. Unknown to her (and he wouldn't know, if he hadn't put together his old memories and hers), he was Itachi's very own _partner_.

Crows and rats always had different methods to apply their genjutsu - the former focused entirely in the victim's mind, materialising their worst fears through their own energy. The latter took to using the environment as a weapon. A more laid-back take on manipulation, but a rather effective one. To reach new heights, it isn't rare for them to pair off. This one rat was no exception.

And since the Ningyo had a natural chakra component, the moment that Sakura summoned a rat, Maru _knew_.

"You chose, ah, to preserve her in your heart - and you did, ah. Really, Bastard, by now you should know that you can take this as literal meaning."

Two sentences, and he wants to make fine paste with the rodent. Sasuke takes a deep breath, reminds himself that violence is not _always_ the answer, and steels himself for this.

"You're just showing me what my soul harbors." Maru does not respond, but it's enough of a confirmation.

His heart is beating a little faster than it should.

She isn't gone. He tries to say the name, he really tries, but it escapes his thoughts. There isn't much left of her - like an imprint on his very soul, she is just a weak flicker of life. But she is still there, and that means that not everything is lost.

* * *

He finds Kurama guarding a village, of all things he could be doing. It starts with subduing all the mythical beasts that he- the doppelgänger unleashed. Then he starts hearing stories of different creatures: the Tailed Beasts.

He owes them something, and so after following the trail for weeks, he finds the Nine-Tails.

Sasuke can tell that it takes everything he has in him, for Kurama not to go on the rampage of his long life. Naruto was one of the few beings that the kitsune ever cared about. Its anger isn't merely directed towards Sasuke - it's the fox's own nature, that allowed him to gain the power that sent everything to hell.

It's the wrath of a creature that could either be holy or hellish, but he withstands it. It's the sorrow of a being that knows _exactly_ what was lost in the massacre. Sasuke merely offers the truth - the dreams that Naruto once fought for.

It's clear that Kurama does not believe in him, but his words are clear as day: _I'll prove you wrong_. They are entirely different from what the Uzumaki would have said, but it gets the fox (and the others) to listen.

They can sense that, behind the cold façade and dark eyes of this man, there is a burning determination that will not be put out by anything.

* * *

The change is very gradual, slow; it happens over the span of nearly two decades. Some people never change, some scars are never healed. Some will never forgive him.

But the world is slowly starting to bloom, and there is light being reflected back at him. There are people who greet him with respect or a smile. There are words that go beyond the strictly necessary - and while before he would have preferred the silence, while he still doesn't know how to answer them, they reach him.

 _It's such a beautiful day outside_.

He looks out the window, his brush hovering over the unfinished letter. The faded lines of the Seal are still drawn on his skin, and there is a harsh emptiness in his eyes that no amount of time will erase, but his expression and demeanor are serene.

"So it is," he mutters.

He starts to lower the brush once more, the words he wants to express memorised in his mind. The Kazekage is requesting a meeting, to oversee the creation of a nation-wide aqueduct system for Wind Country. Though peace has lasted longer than ever, and children have been born and grown in times without a single war, it's always better to be safe than sorry.

_Let's go out!_

His fingers almost twitch, and he lets out a small, exasperated sigh. Not this (again). He has duties to observe, and a limited time to dedicate to them. Even if half his life has been spent on this task, he is nowhere near done. The Elemental Countries know peace and prosperity, the world has mostly recovered from the chaos he inflicted on it, and soon there will be a new Hokage. It took him a long time, but he finally found someone suited for the role of protecting his home village.

_Please? It's a special day, you know it is!_

"Silence is golden," he mumbles, but he finally gives it up and leaves the brush next to the scroll.

The poisoned senbon is still embedded on his desk - few have dared to pick it up over the years, but his offer still stands. If anyone believes that they know better, they are free to challenge him. It took different degrees of effort, to deal with each individual that picked up the old weapon and threatened him with it.

But he did it; he did it with as much of Naruto's empathy as he could muster. With as little bloodshed as Itachi would have wanted. With the unending strength of a certain pinkette, who refused until the end to deny freedom to her heart.

_Thank you!_

There is a nervous ripple of warmth, spreading through his chest, and he has to suppress his annoyance at the lack of self-control that he has in this regard.

The weight of his duties has been heavy, there is no denying that; true to his word, however, he has _lived_ and he intends to keep it up for as long as he can. It's a worthy price to pay.

He takes the long route out of the Hokage Tower, nodding in a curt, absent manner to the shinobi that greet him. Social interaction is not his thing, but by now both parties know that this silent acknowledgement is his way of showing gratitude.

He is their eternal protector, the one who will defend their dreams until the very end. It has taken years to prove it, but by now it matters little if his attitude is secluded and cold - the truth is that, from afar, Sasuke has become nothing less than the upholder of these values that have taken the world into a new era.

They still don't belong to him, but he carries the torch with as much determination as if it were his life dream. Because it was _her_ dream, and the dream was born from _her_ desire to save him and from the souls that were imprinted on _her_.

_You'll let them put your face on the Mountain now, right?_

He takes a look at the reconstructed monument to the past five Hokages. With Iwagakure's collaboration, it was possible to reshape the rubble into the mountain it used to be. It was a more odd idea, from the fierce representatives of Water Country's many shinobi clans, to use water jutsu to shape the faces.

He doesn't deserve to be there. Naruto did.

There isn't a single second of his life in which he doesn't remember the names and deaths of those whose dreams he fights for. Not a single moment is spent paying attention to his own achievements, lest he fall to arrogance once more. Perhaps it's a bitter existence, but it's the only one he desires.

Now that these seemingly impossible dreams are coming true, he can finally step back and merely ensure that everything stays right, instead of being the driving force behind a movement that has changed everything world-wide. It's the only thing he is looking forward to, because it will mean he is closer to the unachievable ideal of true peace.

"We've had this conversation before," he whispers under his breath, dodging his former apprentice with expertise. Soma might have learned from him, but he can never catch him if he wants to be alone. And that is something he does an awful lot.

_That's mean! You know it's for the wedding._

It's amazing that something so bright came out of the destruction he caused. And that's why he doesn't want any part in it - he shouldn't be there. It's not hard to hide in the shadows of the village, away from everything and everyone, until he finds a deserted spot near the Memorial Stone.

Kakashi would probably give him a thumbs-up for this habit, or so he wants to believe. After all, this monument is dedicated solely to the ones killed in the massacre.

It's a bright spring day, not a cloud in sight, and the forest's scents seem to fill the air, carried by a pleasant breeze. It reminds him of times long past, faces long lost. The ghostly sensation of a brush on his cheek is enough to drag him out of his reverie.

"Sometimes I wonder how real you are." He has said it before, dozens of times, but the question always lingers in his mind. After all, he has seen what he can create and give life to.

 _You still don't know my name, so it's impossible for you to have made me_.

Unlike with the doppelgänger, this one is trickier. There are no repressed emotions that can build up, no Seal fed by hatred, and none of this last, burning emotion. This is something entirely out of his control, instead of a reflection. He has argued for hours on end with what amounts to a voice in his head, and he still can't put his finger on it, but he knows it's something more than a machination of his.

Female, insistent, vocal - pedantic at times, entirely too emotional, empathetic to the point of making _him_ feel bad and react to things he should be capable of withstanding. Unyielding. It's familiar, but he doesn't know from where.

There is something missing, memories passing in incomplete flashes when he is at his deepest sleep - a meadow he can't place, a person he knows but can't remember. _Something_ so very important, yet he can't name it.

"I will find it," he promises.

* * *

Isobu is the one who tells him that there are vestiges of the Seal on him - that _something_ is still trapped in there. Whatever it is, the Three-Tails says, is something that Sasuke has taken into himself willingly. Perhaps unconsciously, he seems to know that it's benign.

It takes him years to discover that the voice in his head is a treasure he wants to keep. He doesn't really know why, but it wrecks him more than once, sudden emotion striking at the thought of this one _thing_ he can't name. He tried to shut it down, at the start, in fear of insanity - but he never could.

It takes him even longer to understand that it's his anchor to the promises he made. Once he is free to wander the world, he studies under the snakes and the slugs - Katsuyu tells him that there is dormant slug chakra in there. If he learns, he could unleash whatever is stuck in him. He discovers that it's of vital importance, but he still can't name it.

He spends the majority of his life chasing after a dream, and every day the voice grows closer, stronger, until the very day he is at the gates of death.

It's after a battle goes wrong, after he miscalculates how much energy he has left - an unfortunate series of events that put him at the end of his rope. Whether he lives or dies, he won. The world will still be safe.

It takes him this to  _understand._

She saves him; he isn't sure how. It's in the ashen meadow, that he sees her again for the first time in decades, and beyond her, in the forest, hide the silhouettes of souls long freed from their mortal vessel. The words bubble up to the surface of his mind, the syllables stuck on the tip of his tongue.

She smiles sheepishly, and gestures for him to remain quiet.

He fears, however, that if he doesn't find the _name_ , the meaning of all of this will be lost - and so will she.

"I'll always be with you," she assures him. "Because you'll always allow me to." Her caress is gentle, always dazzling him into immobility. She smiles. "One day, Sasuke-kun… but not quite yet. Not quite yet."

* * *

The day arrives before he realises it.

The girl's figure is still young and healthy, reflecting a liveliness that he hasn't seen in anyone, not even Lee. She walks by his side every day, each time a little closer to being real, but not quite yet.

He knows it's today, because he can't see through her anymore. Her touch is almost real, and he is dying to know the name.

"My soul was incomplete," she explains to him, as they take the long route to the Memorial. "I lost my name, and if not for you, I would have vanished…"

He realises, then, that it has been a very long time since he questioned the logistics of why he does what he does. Why his dream is to keep the world a good place, and make it a better one.

"Why me?" he asks, half to himself and half to her.

"Because you were the start and end of everything that defined me," she responds, and his heart nearly stops in its tracks. She talks in riddles when it comes to her identity, but _this_ can only have one meaning.

"You're here because I killed you."

"Dying for you doesn't mean dying by your hand," she corrects him, but her tone is very soft, almost gentle. "I gave everything I had to save you, even whatever was left of my soul. I exist because you refused to forget who I was, what I died and lived for, even if I shouldn't be here anymore. Don't you understand? This… all of this - we're defying fate, breaking the rules, doing the impossible."

He closes his eyes, trying to recall her image. Bright pink hair, colorful green eyes, a lapislazuli blue dress swaying in the wind. Her smile, always there for him - until the very end. The trees sway, bells ringing as the breeze plays in the light of the dying afternoon.

"It was predetermined that you and I would follow set paths… but we broke free." He can see - the dreamy glint in her eyes, the corners of her lips tugging upwards, her face turned skyward, to the empyrean ocean above.

She lies down on the lush grass, and he follows, tired and aching for well-deserved rest. Even if he feels like he will never be done, he knows this is as far as he goes. He can only hope that his legacy will be good enough.

The lazy clouds sailing overhead distract him for a long time, but he finally turns toward the pink-haired child and dares to ask:

"Who are you?"

She giggles, because somehow his words get twisted and he says something else entirely.

_Enjoying the day?_

"Yeah. It's beautiful."

She closes her eyes, sighing deeply and getting comfy on her green mattress. Sasuke doesn't remember her name when she does any of this. He feels tantalisingly close to the truth, but he can't muster annoyance at this situation or her antics.

There is something mesmerising in this scene, in this girl, that numbs out every other thought.

"Why are you so happy?" he inquires, because he can never muster the same careless, unfettered joy that she can. There is always a duty, a mission, a dream to accomplish; and even if sometimes he can't remember _why_ , he can never relieve himself of it, nor does he want to. But he wants to understand her, even if it's something alien to him.

She laughs at his question with fondness, and his heartstrings once again tremble in resonance with her voice. He remembers when she finally whispers, under her breath, those few syllables.

_I love you._

The girl who gave her all to _him_ , for reasons that are still beyond his grasp. Just like Naruto and Itachi did. The one who fought until the end, and died with a smile on her face, even though she lost her true name - her soul.

The shinobi who went against every regulation in the old books, who pursued dreams wrought by her heart's desire.

The teammate that he used to find superficial and annoying, yet ended up worming her way into his heart. The precious person that he couldn't kick from that nest she had made, even though he had to.

The center of his insanity, his anchor and downfall, whose dreams he swore to protect and give life to, because she wouldn't be able to.

He holds onto her like a child, out of the blue, and he definitely feels like one. For the second time, he doesn't care, because she is _here_ and he almost forgot her name forever. Because even though he couldn't forgive himself, she did. Even though he stopped believing, she did. Even though he lost the ability to love, she did.

She returns his embrace timidly, with a blush that fits her too well, with tears that seem to be a secondary feature to her usual expression. Her hand strokes his back slowly, soothingly, trying to appease the pain that has bloomed in his chest.

The words, the ones he forgot and the ones he carried for a lifetime, refuse to come out. His whole body trembles uncontrollably, but she merely holds him in silence.

The words aren't important, after all. It took him a very long time, but through every action, through every second of his existence, he expressed the meaning that his voice could never convey. And she knows, because she was always beside him.

"It's alright, everything's alright," she whispers, when his hands clench on the back of her dress and he buries his face on her long, pink hair. "I'm here now. No suffering, no pain."

All this time, the life he shared with her made her whole - what she gave him was returned, and now he can finally separate one from the other. He can finally put a name to her. And when he does, she will be herself again, and this lifelong chase will be over. His mission will be over, and her dream will be complete.

It is with that childish, tearful smile, finally content and whole, that he looks at her and whispers her name.

"Sakura Haruno."

It is with the happiest grin on her lips, with that name on his, that Sasuke Uchiha finally embraces sleep.


End file.
